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ichorai · 3 years

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i just wanna say thank you to every single one of you !! the mutuals i talk to, the ppl i see on my dashboard, the ppl who like my fics / posts, and the 3.7k that follow me omg :(( i love yall sm i rlly dont deserve you guys

2021 may not be the blessing that all of us want, but we can try to survive through it together !! pls pls pls stay safe and healthy and my messages + inbox are always open for anybody who wants to talk or just needs a friend ♡

tumblr crushes. everybody listed below are all the blogs i’ve had massive crushes on (dkjdf im rlly exposing myself huh) bolded are the crushes that follow me back aka my moots !! whether we talk every day or not at all, i love all of u sm :3

# - e ;

@127-mile, @1oserjk, @3riberri, @4-sun, @429hj, @99yh, @9uk, @aasthrielle, @agustdiv1ne, @angeliicmin, @angelinanamoo, @annawritesnct, @army-author, @ashisparanoid, @asteriaguk, @atbzkingdom, @ateez-little-star, @ateez-svt, @ateezinmymind, @ateezsunrise, @ateezthings, @atiny-ahgase, @atiny-baby, @atinybitofau, @atinybrew, @atinyfeels, @atinykidult, @atzgiggle, @aurorhwa, @ayyysweetcreature, @baehyukng, @baekhvuns, @baekhyunl, @baekonbaek, @baekwell--tart, @bangtantaegi, @barsformars, @beyond-gethsemane, @binnies, @blueish-sun, @bluelotuss, @bluemiinn, @bluumin, @brathyuck, @burgerkang000, @btsbed, @bubyjong, @butterflyjoong, @by-moonflower, @byeoltoyuki, @c-sanshine, @call-me-bha, @canyounotkaia, @cappujinho, @cchaiart, @ceojongho, @ceruleanskies, @chanbinns, @changsun, @cherryatiny, @cherryhan1386, @cherryjk, @chimtaera, @chittsu, @choi-san, @choijongho, @choisans, @chryzu, @cinanamon, @cinnaminsvga, @closer-stars, @cometoceantrenches, @cosmoguk, @cozyjae, @cozyteez, @crustypeppermintcookie, @crvgio, @cuddlyunho, @curanonemu, @daybreakx, @dazzlingkai, @ddaenysus, @ddalgi-yong, @dear-hao, @dearncityy, @dearyongs, @dejvns, @diaryofateez, @dis-easy, @djxiao, @dreamiehrs, @dreamiesdotcom, @dreamingxuxi, @dreamtaehyung, @dylanxmin, @eggyukhei, @elcie-chxn, @emhpathy, @ephemeralkookie, @essenteez, @eternalbulletproof, @ethaeriyeol

f - j ; @faerieth, @fakeleaves, @fandomsonrequests, @feverishdreamdistrict, @fleurateez, @flirtyhyuck, @flowerboyyoonbin, @flowerkth, @flowerseok, @floweryjh, @flvtteringpetals, @foreveryouaremystar, @fortunexkookie, @fqiryaurora, @gaylligator, @gowonhatesyou, @grxceblqckthxrn, @gukssunshine, @guktro, @gukwluv, @gukyi, @gyukult, @haine13, @halahala, @halahalaatme, @hanatiny, @hanavbara, @haotheheckk, @heartyyjeno, @heavenlyhongjoong, @heeseungluvs, @heterotragedies, @hobidreams, @honeybeedaydreams, @honeytae, @hongcultz, @hongism, @hopejanaee, @hoseoksyn, @hoshees, @hquackity, @httpknjoon, @hunjins, @hwaberrykiwi, @hwaddict, @hwanami, @hwaseongsbabie, @hwastreasure, @hyuckles-chuckles, @hyucktapes, @illicit-roses, @imlikechaitea, @imoonstarstuff, @inclebtsmix, @inkigayeo, @interstellix, @jaehyuked, @jaehywn, @jaemericano, @jaeminslatte, @jaeminsorbit, @jamaisjoons, @jamaiswoo, @jamaisvujjk, @jayehope, @jcngkooks, @jcngyeol, @jenojam, @jensungf, @jeogiyall, @jeong-uwu, @jeongyunhoed, @jeonqqin, @jeonsdear, @jeonsweetpea, @jimindelune, @jimineos, @jimlvb, @jinmindeulle, @jinned, @jisungshotfirst, @jjeongukie, @jjoon, @joenns, @johnni, @jonghours, @joonghwas, @jooniescupcakes, @joonsgalore, @joonsinnerchild, @juliaseongjoong, @junghelioseok, @jungkookiebus, @jungkxook, @jungshookz, @junstruly, @justrose-things, @jwyfldr

k - o ; @k-n-e-o, @kayabred, @kim-taehyung, @kimchitae, @kimnjss, @kimtaehyunq, @kingjoong, @kireiwoo, @kitsutaes, @kittae, @knjspjm, @kodabodaa, @kookiesjoonies, @kookiestarlight, @kookmint, @kpophoneybunny, @kqtiny, @kyung-seokie, @kyuscafe, @lafaussejoie, @lavenderkoo, @leebutnot, @leeknowism, @lettersfromaphrodite, @lettersfrompersephonae, @lightgreybg, @lilacwoo, @lostcherryjk, @loveablejeekies, @lovedsweet, @lovely-ateez, @lovelygalaxy333-writes, @lovsoul, @lunarmingi, @luvsjoon, @lvrbun, @lybomb, @m24sail, @mapofbts, @markftmingi, @may-tree, @meiiyue, @melodiamore, @mhirais, @midnightseonghwa, @milkbts, @milkyoonoh, @minflix, @minghaon, @mingi-theestallion, @mingkiii, @mingtopiaa, @minihongjoong, @minsugams, @mintyguk, @minyoongail, @mismatchmark, @mistymark, @mjlkau, @mmmhs, @mmoondance, @monotape, @moonblssm, @moongaera, @moonguk, @moonlightzone, @moonlitmyg, @mountainhearts, @mountainsluna, @ms-starlight, @nakamoto, @namgination, @namkooks, @naryfial, @neo-shitty, @neocitybynight, @neptune-xuxi, @nevio, @nose-bandaid, @nvmguk, @oceanofaurora, @ofcyunho, @oksws, @omot7, @onceatinymoo, @orphicepiphany, @osakkun, @ot7always, @park-seonghwa

p - t ; @peachjaem00, @peaches-writes, @personasintro, @petitemingi, @phattestuwu, @philosopher-of-fandoms, @pinktea99, @pinkyyunho, @pjimns, @pjmsdior, @prdshobi, @punkill, @queereightiesheartthrob, @riajae, @rookiegukie, @rosy-wooyoung, @royaltypark, @saksukei, @san-hwa, @sanhwaflower, @sannieboy, @sanstar, @santastic, @seacottons, @seiiblue, @seokstrivia, @seonghwanotes, @seongwhy, @seongsangies, @seonqwha, @serendipityseulgi, @serendipityunho, @serenityswords-main, @seungyoune, @shangri-woo, @she, @shuhuas, @sichengsbimbo, @sillyseoks, @simphwa, @simpsiren, @sketchguk, @skymoonandstardust, @sleepingrenjun, @sleepyateez, @sleepyjhs, @sleepyyangyang, @smallfrye, @smileysuh, @smoochkooks, @snackhobi, @softjeon, @softyoongina, @solarmingi, @soleilees, @songteez, @spacejaems, @sparklingchan, @starlightjoong, @starryseung, @starsuh, @straypatchkids, @strayssara, @stressed-asian, @stutterfly, @sugarboyuto, @sugarjaee, @sugaxjpg, @sungchans, @sunkissedjk, @superhajimark, @taehyungsjuicybooty, @taeilmeyourw1sh, @taelepathysroom, @taemines, @taerseok, @taeyongleee, @talkbykhalid, @tbhchoi, @tearvantae, @teeniemoarmy, @tenaciousinferno, @tenseoyong, @teote, @thanxxskz, @the-marionettes-locket, @the-star-named-dowoon, @the-wonandonly, @thespadesinyourhearts, @thorsdreams, @timetoresurface, @tiniesan, @tinylaelia, @toffee-hwa, @treasure-hwa, @treasurehobi, @tsukuyomes, @tvfff, @twdeadfanfic

u - z ; @uayv, @userguk, @utopianvoices, @v-hope, @vante-love, @vanxbb, @venusjinnie, @viastro, @wabisaba, @waiyv, @warmau, @whimsical-ness, @wincore, @wintertae, @wonglix, @woojjongs, @wooyunhwa, @writearctic, @wuuyoung, @xherxx, @xiaocity, @xjoonchildx, @xsandjenos, @xuxi-rolls, @yeochikin, @yeoldontknow, @yeoldotcom, @yeosangscupid, @yeostars, @yeosvng, @yessidzuiichi, @yooaliceee, @yoondoze, @yoongicrumbs, @yoongs-jeontae, @yoonia, @yoonohho, @yunhoiseyecandy, @yunhoway, @yunhowhoitiss, @yuniixoxo

follower count + note ; 3.7k ???? why are yall following me omg kdjdkfjd thank you :(( the amount of love i hold for you guys is immeasurable !! a lot of yall tell me that you’re too scared to talk to me but pls do !! i dont bite i swear !! i love making friends here ! and im sorry for not replying to all of your asks :// sometimes i like to keep them private for my eyes but i swear i read every single one !! thank you again and have a great new year !

following count ; 1.3k lmaoo my dashboard is constantly flooded and sometimes it’s really hectic but fr thank you all for filling my tumblr with happiness and positivity with the occasional thirst trap for a kpop idol rip

2020 fics + upcoming in 2021 recapping all of the fics i wrote this year + lil comments / behind the scenes

- read to me ; kim namjoon ; may 23 - an accident ; johnny seo ; may 23 - chocolates ; jung jaehyun ; may 23 - flash drive ; lee donghyuck ; may 23 - rain ; jeon jungkook ; may 25 - flirts (but no kisses) ; park seonghwa ; may 29

i wrote all of the fics above as part of a short drabble game i made to get out of my writers block !! they weren’t my best works, but i got around 70 requests omg and i only wrote out the first six rip :(( i wanted to write more but i just needed a break for my mental health and couldn’t continue on so i’m sorry to those who requested and didn’t get a fic :(

- rivers over stones ; jeon jungkook ; sept. 12 this huge monster of a fic was what got me out of my writers’ block !! tbh i expected the fic to get like.... 20 notes but it ended up getting far past 3.5k omg thank you so much for all the praise for this fic, it took sooo long for this fic to get out too smh, i can’t believe it was still received so well !!! fyi i read every single review / reblog tags bcs i love reading what yall think :D

- the day bled away ; park seonghwa ; oct. 16 i wrote this after catching up to the good doctor and i was just in the mood for angst and the idea of hwa being a doctor lol

- mr. sad piano man ; min yoongi ; oct. 29 more fluffy soft angst !! i love writing this genre, especially for yoongi and i’m happy this one was received well !!!

- birthday waffles ; min yoongi ; nov. 14 i was just so soft for yoongi and i wanted to write more for him !! so i made this soft / angsty fic that i’m not particularly proud of, but i’m still glad it’s out there bcs it was sitting in my draft doc for sooo long

- cellmates ; one ; two ; three ; jung wooyoung ; oct. 19 - dec. 23 this is my baby :(( my first long original series !! i’m sooooo excited for this fic to progress and i’m so happy you guys like it as well :3 i love making yall suffer lmaoo

coming soon in 2021... - future parts of cellmates - king!taehyung x mage!reader (21k written / estimated 40k) - fire!seonghwa x ice!reader (5k written / estimated 20k) - lots and lots more !!!

check out m.list + wips for more info.

final note.

thank you all :(( i really don’t have any words to say left so pls just stay safe and have a happy new year !!! my inbox and messages are always open !

#2021 celebration #i tried my best to include everyone so im so sorry if i forgot anybody :(#pls talk to me !! id love to make new friends #whyd it take me so long to make this lol #guys alphabetizing this was a nightmare but worth it :')

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lostinsimsland-archive · 5 years

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get to know me tag~

rules: make your simself and answer the 125 questions provided!

question time!

1. what is your full name?: kaitlyn dawn! 2. what are your nicknames?: kait, katie 3. birthday?: october 14th! 4. what is your favorite book series?: the if i stay + where she went books! 5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?: ghosts definitely. 6. who is your favorite author?: lauren oliver! 7. what is your favorite radio station?: i don’t listen to the radio lol 8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?: chocolate everything pls 9. what word would you often use to describe something great or wonderful?: idk but i say “holy shit” a lot 10. what is your current favorite song?: monster by dodie 11. what is your favorite word?: fuck 12. what was the last song you listened to?: monster by dodie 13. what tv show would you recommend for everyone to watch?: scream 14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?: shitty romcoms 100% 15. do you play video games?: yes 16. what is your biggest fear?: losing loved ones 17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?: i’m good at cheering ppl up i guess. 18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?: i’m an anxious mess 19. do you like cats or dogs better?: cats. but my mom’s allergic smh 20. what’s your favorite season?: fall + winter 21. are you in a relationship?: does being madly in love with my best friend count? 22. what is something you miss from your childhood?: i’m still technically a child, but i miss literally anything i did with my dad. 23. who is your best friend?: if i told you, i’d be giving away who my crush is~ 24. what is your eye color?: hazel 25. what is your hair color?: dark brown 26. who is someone you love? @waterlily-sims is my only friend, and i cherish her. 27. who is someone you trust?: see 26 28. who is someone you think about often?: my dad 29. are you currently excited about/for something?: i’m gonna play dbh after this so i’m pumped 30. what is your biggest obsession?: detroit become human 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?: ok look, blues clues was the shit. 32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?: there’s this kid at my school named carter. he’s pretty cool i guess. (i’m kidding, we share memes all the time and it’s great.) 33. are you superstitious?: fuck yeah 34. do you have any unusual phobias?: not that i know of 35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?: behind it 36. what is your favorite hobby?: writing and drawing 37. what was the last book you read?: before i fall by lauren oliver 38. what was the last movie you watched?: idk 39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?: i played viola in 6th grade 40. what is your favorite animal?: butterflies 41. what are your top 5 tumblr blogs that you follow?: everyone 42. what superpower do you wish you had?: i just wanna be an android ok. 43. when and where do you feel most at peace?: writing my shitty fanfictions in my bed. 44. what makes you smile?: seeing other people i love being happy 45. what sports do you play, if any?: what’s a sport? 46. what is your favorite drink?: sprite 47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?: probably sometime last year 48. are you afraid of heights?: yES 49. what is your biggest pet peeve?: people ghosting their friends 50. have you ever been to a concert?: yep 51. are you vegan/vegetarian?: i tried being vegetarian. that lasted 2 weeks 52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?: a youtuber (we’re talking 4th grade me who said i wanted to be a gamer lmao) 53. what fictional world would you like to live in?: the detroit become human world 54. what is something you worry about?: other people’s opinions of me 55. are you scared of the dark?: yes 56. do you like to sing?: i do, but i’m not great. 57. have you ever skipped school?: i’ve faked being sick, but i’ve never gone and left halfway through. 58. what is your favorite place on the planet?: my bed 59. where would you like to live?: detroit 60. do you have any pets?: 2 dogs 61. are you more of an early bird or night owl?: night owl 62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?: sunset 63. do you know how to drive?: nope 64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?: earbuds 65. have you ever had braces?: no but i need them tbh 66. what is your favorite genre of music?: indie pop / alternative 67. who is your hero?: my mom 68. do you read comic books?: no 69. what makes you the most angry?: everything 70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or a real book?: both 71. what is your favorite subject in school?: art 72. do you have any siblings?: no, my mom isn’t available 4 commited relationships 73. what was the last thing you bought?: music 74. how tall are you?: 5′7 75. can you cook?: i can bake 76. what are three things that you love?: sunflowers, music, sims 77. what are three things that you hate?: stress, school, people 78. do you have more female friends or male friends?: female 79. what is your sexual orientation?: pansexual 80. where do you currently live?: texas 81. who was the last person you texted?: @waterlily-sims 82. when was the last night you cried?: who knows 83. who is your favorite youtuber?: vixella 84. do you like to take selfies?: sometimes 85. what is your favorite app?: tumblr 86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?: my mom is the best, and i haven’t figured out whether my dad ended up in heaven or hell 87. what is your favorite foreign accent?: british 88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but want to visit?: paris 89. what is your favorite number?: 42 90. can you juggle?: nope 91. are you religious?: nope 92. do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting?: space 93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?: fuck no 94. are you allergic to anything?: dogs (but only the ones that shed) 95. can you curl your tongue?: probably 96. can you wiggle your ears?: no 97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?: pretty often, but it takes me a while to realize that i’m wrong 98. do you prefer the forest or beach?: beach 99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?: not everyone is as bad as one person who fucked you over. (we love my therapist) 100. are you a good liar?: depends on who i’m lying to 101. what is your hogwarts house?: hufflepuff 102. do you talk to yourself?: yep 103. are you an introvert or extrovert?: introvert 104. do you keep a journal/diary?: i try to, but it’s not going great 105. do you believe in second chances?: yes 106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?: turn it in 107. do you believe people are capable of change?: yes 108. are you ticklish?: yes, but if you even think about tickling me, be prepared for war. 109. have you ever been on a plane?: yeah 110. do you have any piercings?: no 111. what fictional character do you wish was real?: the entire dbh cast 112. do you have any tattoos?: nooooo 113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?: letting go of old friends 114. do you believe in karma?: yes 115. do you wear glasses/contacts?: i’m supposed to 116. do you want children?: YES 117. who is the smartest person you know?: my therapist 118. what is your most embarrassing memory?: all of them 119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?: fuck yeah 120. what color are most of your clothes?: black + moss green 121. do you like adventures?: depends 122. have you ever been on tv?: i got interveiwed on the news because somebody stole my special needs bike (i have a disease that affects how i walk) 123. how old are you?: 14 124. what is your favorite quote?: “you can’t kill me, i’m not alive” 125. do you prefer sweet or savory foods?: sweet

#get to know me #kait.txt #x

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identitycris1s · 3 years

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im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:)

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes.

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soupiyamashuu · 7 years

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SOURCE FOR SHITE BELOW THE CUT

OC ROADTRIP QUESTIONS

team one ( 1.) ) is finn, elena, keiko, and kikka

team two ( 2.) ) is dimitri, cecil, toby, and nikolai

Which OC is the driver? Where are the other OCs sitting in the vehicle?

1.) finn and elena can both drive so .. whoever fuckin feels like driving that time. keiko & kikka just sit there like ??? 2.) i think fuckin dimitri drives im cryin ( tho i think my other ones are old enough / nearly old enough to drive too ) so its just ... toby, nikolai, and cecil sitting around screaming

What form of transportation are your OCs using (RV, motorcycles, on foot, etc.)?

1 & 2.) cars.. its not quite a road trip if ur walking around

What’s playing on the radio?

1.) weird japanese music 2.) GOD KNOWS ... they probably burn shitty memes onto cds and play cryptic russian chanson songs on the aux cord or smth ... imagine ur driving down the highway and u just hear this coming from the car next to u

Imagine your OCs reacting towards staying overnight at an incredibly shady motel

1.) oh god they’d be so fucking upset ... they normally stay in fucking penthouses and luxury suites im cryin. finn’d be like “WHERES UR LUXURY SUITE :)” and the tired fuckin motel worker would be like “sir this is a motel 6″ 2.) THEY LOVE IT. they love the shitty aesthetic and take weird little pictures together with the fucking workers. they’ll like, take polaroids of the dead bugs around the room and hang them on the walls for the next people

Which OC gets homesick nearly immediately? Do they get over it?

1.) keiko and kikka. they don’t like being far away from home very often. 2.) toby, but he’d never fuckin admit it. he’d be like “UM ... Hehe! I’m ok... just dyin a bit ... heh” ( tho he’d get over it fast haha )

Imagine your OCs getting lost

1.) finn would probably cry on the inside im fuckin screaming. elena would force him to stop and go ask the random ppl in mcdonalds where they are im dyin. tho then again, they’d probs have a gps bUT- 2.) fhghfhghfg toby would probably tell dimitri the wrong road and cause them to be on like, the opposite side of the way they’re supposed to be going. then they’d just reroute and start dying on the inside/// “Getting lost is fuckin expensive!”

Which OC yells “HORSE” whenever they pass by horses?

1.) i desperately want to say it’d only be the kids but literally all of them ... theyd all just be like “OMFG HORSES ... LETS SAY HI” hfghgff 2.) toby and cecil.. they love horses im

What does your OC do to pass the time on a long stretch of road?

1.) whoever isn’t driving fucking passes the Fuck out ( if finn’s driving he’ll just be like ... ._. and die on the inside ) but otherwise they’ve got a shit ton of stuff to do. i’m so sure finn and elena would have like, 4 fucking cars [ one for both of them to drive around, one for Long Road Trips, and one for just every day driving around w/ everyone ] and the road trip car is def. a fuckin porsche cayenne with a fuckin ton of weird backseat shit for their kids im cryin. im sure theyd also just draw pictures or play games 2.) theyd either sleep, play games, or fuckin start zoning out im cryin. i feel like one of them would realize they forgot smth while On the long stretch of road.

Imagine your OCs playing I Spy

1.) finn is fucking awful at i spy and always loses, though when it’s his turn he always sees the most obscure shit. “i spy ... smth grey” “???” “That horse we just passed rn :)” 2.) toby is the god of i spy. he can fuckin guess almost everything right and he always beats everyone when they try to find what he saw im cryin

Which OC brings a guitar to serenade the other OCs as they travel?

1.) ??? 2.) none of them can play the guitar but toby would fucking bring smth weird to serenade them with. it’d be like ... a triangle. and he’d start playing fuckin “my heart will go on” all off beat

What happens when your OCs meet a hitchhiker?

1.) if they look like, innocent and theyre going close by they’ll pick them up. but otherwise Z O O M 2.) the fucking noobs in team two have read so many hitchhiker horror stories that they honestly just ... speed away without asking for details first

Which OC insists on stopping at every fruit stall to buy snacks and chat with the seller?

1.) ELENA. she’s like “oh finn THEYRE SELLING PINEAPPLES... can we buy one lol” and he’s like “hell yeah” kikka and keiko just don’t get it 2.) nikolai for fuckin sure. “toby fucking force dimitri to stop the car so i can buy an orange over there”

Which OC gets accidentally left behind at a stop? How long does it take before anyone realizes that they’re gone?

1.) oh god theyre all way too concerned to leave anyone alone hfghgf. 2.) either cecil or nikolai im crying. fuckin toby would be like “euh .... wheres X/Y” and dimitri would be like “O H N O” im fucking crying

Which OC buys cheesy souvenirs as keepsakes and to give to their friends who didn’t come with them?

i’m thinking they all buy that kinda shit, but i’ll go into deets here 1.) - finn probably buys weird shit for his coworkers. like they go to the USA and go on a road trip right. and theyre stopping in vegas and finn just buys like some minion figurine saying like “I WAS IN VEGAS”. and he gives it to the fucking president and he’s like “here dude.. got this for u in the states lol” - elena probably buys a mix of thoughtful gifts and weird obscure meme gifts.. kind of like the fuckin thing i said above, she’d buy weird bootleg objects and give it to her coworkers im dying. but i feel like she’d buy her students little gifts too im crying.. - keiko & kikka buy like... those shitty pencils and magnets. or they’ll buy bracelets... keiko buys “funny meme” gag gifts and kikka buys like, stuffed animals im dyin 2.) - cecil will literally go to the bootleg hidden gift stores and buy the worst quality things he sees. - dimitri probably buys those weird gag gift things OR like, weird clothes. some type of weird ass shirt like “WHAT HAPPENS IN WINNIPEG STAYS IN WINNIPEG” and of course fucking cecil and them start crying at it hgfghhfgh. - toby ... jesus christ he’ll buy anything and everything that he laughs at. either NSFW funny joke things or things that just Look weird. he’ll buy one and then he’ll go buy another for his friends im - nikolai will literally buy “I WENT TO X AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHIRT” things. for his friends .. he literally gets those weird stretched out pennies im dying.

Imagine your OC sitting on the hood of the car with a thermos of hot cocoa in their hands, watching the sun rise

HEY ... this is pure. 1.) finn would probably fuckng fall asleep and spill all the damn hot chocolate on his lap and start crying. elena would be like “FINN WAKE UP the suns here lol”. keiko & kikka would be like .... !_! 2.) they’d all be playing like, shitty meme videos in the background and record nature “amvs” ( nmvs ? ) for their friends. it’d be like, a video of the sun coming up with “HERE COMES THE SUN” nightcore playing

Which OC is on a quest to try as many different kinds of food as they can on this trip?

1.) elena. she’d fucking be like “ok finn.. i heard they have weird fried food here in las vegas... LETS TRY IT” and then they just go eat weird shit 2.) toby, foR REAL. they go up to like, canada or smth and toby is like “LETS HAVE TIM HORTONS, BEAVER TAILS, POUTINE, ETFUCKINC” and theyre like “kay lol”

Which OC points out every strange sign they pass by on the road and reads them aloud to the amusement or annoyance of everyone else?

1.) kikka and keiko. elena is usually not paying attention to signs and finn is Looking At The Road so theyll just scream out random signs im dead. they probably fucking ask shit like “CAN WE GO SEE CRISS ANGEL” and finn is like “Ya lol” but elena is like ??? 2.) toby and nikolai. they’ll collaborate to fucking see who can say the weirder ones first. dimitri also plays along because he sees the signs fucking first most of the time.

Which OC has to stop to relieve themself every hour or so?

1.) kikka. he’s Always going. finn then gets fuckin concerned and forces him to stop drinking so much water im cryin. 2.) dimitri. cecil and nikolai get annoyed but fucking toby is like “Y E S more stopping in shitty roadside gas stations”

Imagine your OCs getting pulled into a side quest when one OC claims that they saw a cryptid

1.) i ... honestly this is something i can see. finn would see a fucking cryptid on the las vegas strip or something and force everyone to go run around looking for it. keiko would be like “DAD PLEASE” and kikka and elena would team up to say that it went into a place like fucking mandalay bay ( just so they can see the weird aquariums in there im crying ) 2.) i feel like they’d go on a roadtrip in general just to find cryptids im dying. like they all meet up in los angeles and go around the united states / southern canada to find cryptids.

What happens when the vehicle runs out of fuel in the middle of nowhere?

1.) THEYRE ALL YELLING. they call someone and the person is like “uh ... what did yall do... stop Yelling” fghfgh. theyd probably also just sit around complaining. 2.) they probably start laughing im. theyd be like “dudes.... we’re fuckin stuck in the middle of the woods HAHAHA” ( tho dimitri is like “hehe .... Help us god” and he calls the fuckin tow trucks or w/ev )

Which OC starts taking increasingly daring nature/action photos of themselves and their friends?

1.) finn. he’d like .. do a handstand on a fuckin cliff and force them to take pics 2.) all oF THEM. theyd just do weird risky shots #FORTHEVINE ( #ripvine )

Which OC starts out stressed about the amount of work they’re leaving at home, and slowly lets themself have fun?

1.) i doubt theyd be going on roadtrips with a lot of work. elena probably only goes on roadtrips during school breaks and finn usually has to request time off Ages in advance. so therefore, they don’t really have a lot of work to worry about. 2.) im actually not too sure abt this one ... considering the only time they could go on roadtrips is during breaks, they don’t have much work to do.

Imagine your OCs stopping by the side of a quiet road to go stargazing. Bonus points if they all end up falling asleep together, warm, happy, and surrounded by their friends

1.) LOVE IT ???? but theyd probably fuckin fall asleep in like 8 seconds 2.) theyd start making more nmvs but im cryin theyd all be like “I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH THESE FUCKS” fghg

#FINALLY DID THIS #FEATURING:::#finn #elena #cecil #toby #dimitri #keiko #kikka #nikolai #original posts by finn

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