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neverending2012 · 7 years

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My Journey To You Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

SUMMARY: Sam and Mercedes deal with the stress of Rachel's illness; and Rachel continues to battle cancer; her fathers come to visit causing tension with Finn. Abby gets a big surprise.

RATING: Mature

WARNING: Sex scenes, language

NOTES: Please excuse any errors!

ABA AND POP

When Rachel's fathers (Hiram and Sean otherwise known as Aba and Pop, or Zaide and Granddad, depending on whom was addressing them) arrived, Sam wasn't happy to see them. He understood their need to protect Rachel and their grand kids, but he also thought their criticism of Finn was unwarranted. Mercedes and the kids cleaned up the living room, though the rest of the house looked like a cyclone hit it. Hiram was a tall, dark-skinned black man, the color of a starless night sky; he was muscular and broad-shouldered and he always smelled like citrus cologne. Though not classically handsome, he had a rugged, masculinity that made him attractive. He wore a long sleeved cotton blue Henley shirt and black jeans. When he spoke, his voice was a deep rumble, reminding Sam of the voice of God in the old Ten Commandments movie with Charlton Heston. Hiram was originally from England, (Nottingham to be exact) and he spoke with an English accent; he came to the states to attend Harvard, and decided to stay. He leaned over and hugged Sam.

"Lovely to see you again, Sam, he said and handed him two large bags, loaded with groceries, "We made a stop at Orangix Plus. And there's more," he said and called over his shoulder, "Sean, don't forget the stuff in the boot!"

"Thank you, but we have enough – " Sam began to say but was interrupted.

"Yes, but Rachel only eats organic or macrobiotic."

Sam smiled and took the bags to the kitchen, biting his tongue about saying how Rachel wasn't as anal about a lot of things as she used to be. The other day she ate half a powdered sugar donut. Hiram followed him and upon entering the kitchen he said:

"Dear God, what the bloody hell happened in here?"

"Life is what happened," Sam said setting the bags on the counter, "Go on in the living room, that's where everyone is."

"I'll hire a cleaning service for you."

"Thanks, but – "

"It's not up for discussion. This is atrocious. I'll see you in the living room," he said and walked out of the kitchen.

Sam sighed and began putting away the groceries. Sean came into the kitchen with four more bags. He was shorter than his husband and more slender than muscular; he had bright blue eyes and salt and pepper hair that he kept cut rather close. He had the looks of an aging teen idol with his pearly white smile and tanned skin. Many women, young and old, found Sean attractive and since his sexuality was always hard to detect, they were deflated to see him kiss Hiram and introduce the beautiful man as his husband. In his younger days he had modeled and even did some acting, before he switched careers and developed antivirus software; he and Hiram were the owners of Steel Shield Antivirus software, a global corporation that made them a fortune and allowed their only daughter Rachel to live in luxury.

"Hello Sam," he said, setting the bags on the floor.

"Hi Sean, everyone is in the living room."

"I know an excellent cleaning service."

"Hiram is on it."

"Well, he does hate disorder."

"Yeah," Sam said as he put a carton of free range organic eggs into the fridge, "Thanks for the food."

Sean nodded and sat down, moving aside a pile of junk mail on the table, so he could rest his arms.

"Thank you for welcoming Rachel and her family into your new home like this. It's very kind of you especially considering you have children of your own."

"I love my brother; I couldn't see his family on the street."

"He wouldn't have been on the street if he had only listened. They could've stayed with us, heaven knows we have the room."

Sam tried to keep his cool but it was difficult so he changed the subject instead.

"Since you bought so much tea, how about I brew a pot of it and bring it in the living room with some of these gluten free blueberry muffins?"

Sean raised his eyebrows, but he didn't protest, he only stood up and said:

"Sounds good. I'll see you in the living room."

IN MY OLD LIFE

Rachel sat in the recliner with her feet propped up on the ottoman; she was wrapped in a pink prairie star quilt, and she wore big neon pink plush slide slippers on her feet; a white knit cap was on her bald held. Finn sat beside Rachel on the extra ottoman, holding her hand and kissing it now and again, avoiding eye contact with his father in laws, who sat on the loveseat adjacent to them. Rachel looked so thin and frail that Sam's heart broke every time he saw her, and today was no different. He held his composure as he walked into the living room with a tray of refreshments, rooibos tea and blueberry muffins. Mercedes sat on the couch with Rosy and Jake, occupying them with Elmo and Big Bird picture books, while she opened the gifts that Hiram and Sean got for the twins. The presents came in two big white boxes from a boutique called Marie Chantal.

"I've never heard of this store," she said, as she opened the first box.

"It's a boutique in England," Hiram said.

The first box had a beautiful white dress with all the frills and lace for a fairytale princess; it also came with a sparkling tiara. In the second box, was a lovely navy blue suit with a little blue bow tie.

"These clothes are gorgeous, you didn't have to – "

Sean held up his hand.

"You're family. Enough said."

"Thank you," Mercedes said.

"Yes, Thank you, Sam said setting the tray on the coffee table.

Matt, Lucy, and Abby sat on the floor opening their gifts. They all squealed with joy with what they received; Matt got a 200 dollar GameStop gift card, Lucy got VIP tickets to a Taylor Swift concert, and Abby got a pair of brilliant gold and emerald earrings that matched the locket Sam gave her.

Mercedes' eyes widened at the extravagant gift.

"Hiram, Sean, you didn't have to – "

"Oh, Mercedes, it's nothing," Hiram said.

Sam thought it was a nice gesture and said:

"Thank you again, that was very generous of you."

Abby got up from the floor and hugged them.

"Thank you, Zaide, Thank you, Granddad," she said giving them each a kiss on the cheek. Matt and Lucy followed suit.

"Thank you," they said, hugging their grandfathers.

"Thank you," Rachel said, "I appreciate the gifts you brought for them."

"We have a few things for you too," Hiram said.

"Aba, I already have enough stuff."

"You can never have too much, Booba, and you're worth it," Sean said.

"Would you like some tea?" Sam asked Rachel, to break the tension.

"No, I'm fine."

"We'll get our own," Sean said sitting up and leaning over the coffee table, he poured a cup of tea, "Smells wonderful."

Sam sat next to Mercedes on the couch and Rosy crawled onto his lap.

"Da," she said. He kissed the top of her head.

"Hi sweetie."

And little Jake, who was not to be ignored, also found a spot on his father's lap, and kissed his cheek. Sam smiled at his children's affection, giving them both hugs and kisses, and he reached over and grabbed Mercedes' hand squeezing it and kissing it, staring at her for a long moment.

I love you.

I love you too.

Hiram spoke, breaking them out of the stolen moment:

"The tea is good. Nice way to relax after such a long drive."

"Where are you staying this time?" Sam asked.

"St. Paul's Hotel. It's a tad rustic for our taste, but they sell Golden Glory at the bar, and that's a plus," Hiram said, "Rachel dear, when is your next appointment?"

"It's tomorrow at 10."

"We'll drive you," he said, sipping his tea, "I want to talk to that doctor of yours. You know there's specialist I found out about and – "

"Not now, Aba, I like Dr. Jordan and Finn is taking me to my appointment."

"We're still coming," he said, unperturbed by her response. "I want to check out the facility again."

Sean picked up a muffin and bit into it.

"Very tasty," he said chewing, "Finn, we'll follow you in our car."

"You both can fit in mine," Finn said.

"True, but I need leg room," Hiram said.

Finn shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

A rather awkward silence followed after that. Mercedes said:

"What would you two like for dinner?"

"No need to worry about that," Hiram said, "We decided to cook for you. You've done so much for us."

"Ok, but let me know if you need help."

"We will."

The conversation was non-controversial after that, they chatted about the news and where they were traveling to next. Then somehow the topic of horror movies came up and Sean said he played a drunk teenager in an old 80s horror flick.

"Really Pop?" Rachel said, shifting in her chair and adjusting her quilt, "You never told me that."

"Rachel, I've told you that story a hundred times; you laughed every time you heard it."

"No, you haven't. I've never heard that story before."

"Yes, you have. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing has gotten into me," Rachel said, "Why can't you admit to being wrong?"

"Because I'm not wrong. You've heard this story since you were a little girl."

"You're making that up."

"Booba, why would I make that up?" Sean said.

"Tell me when you first told me that story."

Sean and Hiram looked at each other, bewildered expressions on their faces, and Sean said:

"It was on Halloween. You were 11 years old and you dressed up as a Susan B. Anthony, remember you wore that awful puffy black dress with the high collar and ugly glasses? Anyway, we were sorting through your candy to take out the stuff with the highest sugar content, and you asked me if I had ever been in a scary movie and I told you about the horror movie from the 80s, and every Halloween after that you asked for the same story, and we watched the movie. Sometimes I wore my movie costume and Aba and me would act it out. Now, do you remember?"

Rachel nodded.

"Yes, I remember," she said." But everyone could tell she was lying by the quiver in her voice.

"It was a long time ago," Hiram said, smoothing things over.

"I said I remember," Rachel said, "Just drop it."

"What was the name of the movie?" Matt said.

"It was called Slaughter High 85. I had a mullet and I wore stonewashed jeans. I got my head cut off with a chain saw."

"Granddad, we should watch it tonight," Matt said, picking up a muffin, "I want to see it."

Rachel shook her head.

"That's too violent."

Matt rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Mom, I've seen worse. And you saw it as a kid, Granddad said so."

"I said no."

"I'd rather watch something else. I don't want to see Granddad get his head get cut off." Abby said.

"What other movies were you in?" Sam said.

Sean snuggled up to Hiram, patting his chest.

"Hmmm, let's see. I was in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I was an extra."

"That old Dolly Parton movie?" Finn said.

"Yes, that's the one. I was sitting at a bar."

"Were you ever in anything G-rated?" Finn said.

"I've done some cartoon voiceover work."

"Why did you stop acting?" Lucy said, "It sounds like fun."

"Reality set in. I needed stability. I wasn't that talented anyway. Besides, I met your grandfather and my goals changed."

Hiram leaned over and kissed him.

"So did mine."

"I would've kept doing it," Matt said, biting into his muffin, "I like horror movies."

"Sometimes life has other plans," Sean said and glanced over at Finn, "You change course."

"Finn, I'm tired. Could you help me upstairs?" Rachel said.

"Sure, sweetie," he said and bent down and picked her up like she weighed nothing at all.

"Do you need any help?" Hiram asked.

"I can take care of my wife," Finn said over his shoulder as he walked away with Rachel in his arms.

"I only meant that – " Hiram tried to explain himself but Finn cut him off.

"I don't care what you meant. I know what I'm capable of even if you don't. I'm her husband. I can take care of her."

Rachel touched his cheek.

"Finn, honey, it's ok. You do a great job of caring for me; Aba meant no harm." She kept stroking his face and he calmed down; he kissed her forehead and walked out of the living room to take her upstairs to their bedroom.

Hiram looked at Sean.

"What was that about?"

Lucy got up from where she was sitting in front of the fireplace and sat next to Hiram, holding his hand.

"Zaide, you hurt his feelings."

"How?"

"You made him feel like he can't take care of Mom."

"Bollocks. I only offered help."

"Yes, and things would be better if he had accepted our help all those months ago," Sean said, shaking his head, "I don't understand your father's ways."

"Maybe you two should have a private talk with Finn," Sam said, not wanting the conversation to go any further. "I think there's a lot you're missing."

"Such as?" Sean asked.

"Like I said, talk to Finn. Alone."

"It's getting late," Mercedes said, "And we need to give Rosy and Jake a bath. If you guys want to start dinner, then be our guest."

"Thank you, Mercedes," Hiram said, rising from the couch, "Come along, children, you can watch us at work in the kitchen. But first we must clean it."

"What are you making?" Abby said.

"Beef bourguignon."

"I'd rather have meatloaf and tater tots," Matt said.

Sean clucked his tongue.

"Matthew, I'm disappointed in your middle America taste in food."

Matt, Lucy, and Abby followed Hiram and Sean into the kitchen, leaving Mercedes and Sam alone in the living room with the twins.

"They mean well," Mercedes said, picking up Rosy.

Sam nodded and picked up Jake.

"True. But Finn needs to handle it."

"Things will work out."

"You think so?"

"Well, I'm hoping so."

***

After dinner, Hiram and Sean left to go back to their hotel, with promises to be there the following morning to go to Rachel's next chemo appointment. Sam and Mercedes spent time with Abby, Matt, and Lucy after the twins were put to bed for the night. They played Scrabble, watched movies, talked, and popped fresh popcorn. Finn was upstairs with Rachel. He stayed by her side; and his devotion to her touched Sam to no end.

While they watched Private Beach, a low-budget 80s flick in which Sean played a surfer who drowns in the ocean, Sam oiled Abby's scalp. Everyone waited in anticipation of Sean's infamous scene. About a half hour into the movie, a young, attractive, tanned buff teenager with bright blond hair, appeared on screen, surfing a huge wave, and he yelled out:

"Awesome!"

Matt paused the movie.

"Granddad looks like a kid."

"Well, he was a kid," Sam said, parting Abby's hair and applying coconut oil to her scalp.

"Yeah, I know, but it's so weird."

"Turn it back on," Lucy said, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table.

Synthesizer pop music played in the background as Sean rode the wave and then it turned menacing, and he was pulled underwater, losing his surfboard as he was tossed into the ocean; he screamed for his life and the scene faded to black.

"Wow, Granddad is so old now," Lucy said.

"He's not that old," Abby said.

"Compared to that, he is," Lucy said.

"Yeah, I guess."

They finished watching the movie and it was as corny as Sam thought it would be.

"I liked it," Mercedes said, stretching her arms, "It was cheesy but fun."

"Too bad Granddad had such a small part," Matt said, putting away the Scrabble game, "He did a good job of screaming his head off."

Mercedes laughed.

"Yeah, he did. Now it's past midnight, so off to bed you guys, and no sneaking iPads, phones, or any other devices, got it?"

"Yes, Aunt Mercedes," Matt and Lucy said and they each gave her and Sam a hug and kiss goodnight. Abby did the same.

When they were gone, Sam scooted over to Mercedes and pulled her into his arms.

"Looking good, Mrs. Hummel."

"Sam, it's late, no funny stuff… until we get upstairs."

Sam grinned and kissed her neck.

"Now you're talking."

MEMORIES

"Mercedes, wake up."

Mercedes opened her eyes and saw Rachel standing over her bed. She looked like an apparition with her winter pale skin and long ivory nightgown. The streetlight shining through the curtains gave her a strange, ethereal glow.

"Rachel, why are you… are you ok?" Mercedes said, stumbling over her words; she felt disoriented the way she always did when she was awakened in the middle of the night, then she panicked "Is it Rosy and Jake?"

"No, I can't find the blanket."

"Huh?"

"The blanket. It's pink and – " she paused, "I don't remember where it is."

"You mean your quilt?"

"No, I was knitting it."

Mercedes had no idea what Rachel was talking about, but something felt off. She sat up in bed and said:

"Could you hand me my robe? It's on that chair."

Rachel grabbed the robe and gave it to her.

"I was knitting it. It's pink."

Mercedes put on her robe and got out of bed. Sam slept in a tranquil slumber beside her; he could sleep through a hurricane, and she was glad their conversation didn't wake him. She took Rachel's hand and led her out of the room, and together they walked downstairs. Rachel had a firm hold on the staircase handrail, taking careful steps. When they got to the end of the stairs, Rachel stood in the hallway, looking confused.

"Which way is the living room?"

"Rachel?"

"I don't know which way the living room is. I want to go home."

Mercedes put her arm around her.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. Everything is jumbled. Help me find the blanket."

"Ok. Let's check the basement."

"We're going back to our house, aren't we?" Rachel said, clinging to Mercedes' arm, "We won't be here much longer."

Mercedes had no answer for that. The plan was for them to stay until Rachel got better; but who knew how long that would be. When they moved in, they put a few unpacked boxes in the basement, and she figured Rachel's blanket was in one of them. Mercedes turned on the hall light.

"Come on," she said leading her down the hall to the basement door.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. Finn doesn't know these things."

"It's alright."

"I can't remember what day it is," Rachel said as they went down the stairs to the cold basement that smelled like varnish and sawdust. Sam kept his tools down there and he had a small workshop too.

Mercedes thought for a moment.

"It's Thursday."

"Everything is slipping from me."

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Mercedes pointed to a wooden desk chair that Sam was refinishing and said:

"Sit here and rest."

"I want to look too."

She studied Rachel's face; she looked desperate and afraid; her large, dark eyes were glassy and somewhat unfocused. She wondered what was happening to her and why she was saying bizarre things.

"It's better if I look for it alone, ok?"

Rachel didn't protest and sat down. Mercedes found the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner beside the workbench. She opened the box on the top and inside was a bunch of extra winter clothes like sweaters and heavy socks, but at the bottom she saw two partially knitted blankets: one blue and the other pink. She got them out and handed them to Rachel.

"Here," she said, "There's two of them."

"For Matt and Lucy," Rachel said as if suddenly recalling a long-lost memory; she held the blankets to her heart, "Is there any yarn?"

"No, but we can buy some. It's late. Let's go back to bed."

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"You're welcome."

"Sometimes things get jumbled. I don't remember the way I used to."

"Did you tell Dr. Jordan?"

Rachel didn't answer her.

"I was knitting these back at our house. But sometimes this house feels like our house too… Sometimes I'll be reading and I'll see a word and I can't remember what it means, or Finn will ask me about something and I have to grapple with what he's talking about; yesterday, I couldn't remember Matt and Lucy's birthday, and it takes awhile for me to find the right words of what I'm trying to say. I used to be able to cook breakfast, pay bills, schedule appointments and pack lunches all at the same time, now I'm lucky if I can finish one thing without getting confused. I woke up and remembered knitting… I had to find these. I need something to hold onto; something I can't lose."

Mercedes put her arms around her, hugging her close.

"You have to talk to Dr. Jordan. This isn't normal."

"I have," Rachel said, as tears ran down her cheeks, "It's a side effect of chemotherapy; he called it post-treatment cognitive difficulty. The lay term is chemo brain. It's not known how long it will last. It could be long-term. Mine seems to be severe, he referred me to a neuropsychologist. I'm going tomorrow."

"Rachel, I'm so sorry," Mercedes said, rubbing her back.

"I'm scared. I've lost my hair, my appetite, my energy, my sex drive, but I can't lose my memories too. I can't lose birthdays and Christmases, and moments that defined my life. I started knitting these blankets when they were babies; I don't know why I didn't finish them. I can't have a life unfinished."

"It's not unfinished. Is that why you got mad at your father yesterday when he told us about that horror movie?"

"Yes. Pop loves his damn stories. And I used to know all of them because I loved them too. Now, I'm lucky if I know my own name. I took my anger out on him."

"Come on, let's go back to bed. You need your rest."

"Can I tell you a story?"

Mercedes sighed.

"Alright."

"A baby girl named Rachel was born and put up for adoption. Two wonderful men, her Aba and Pop raised her, and she had the best of everything: a private school education, equestrian lessons, a Broadway vocal coach, and vacations around the world. She pretended not to hear people say her fathers shouldn't have the legal right to raise her and call her Aba the n-word, or call her fathers names that hurt her heart when they thought they were whispering; she never told them she was scared someone would take her away from them; she put on a happy face, sang Don't Rain on My Parade and had green smoothies for breakfast in the sunroom. That was her life, nothing but love, luxury, and pain. She grew up, went to college and graduated with honors. She met a simple, loving man named Finn who came to fix the heater in her fathers' Tennessee cabin, who had no idea who Fanny Brice was, the only French cuisine he knew was French fries, and he made his living truck driving and being a jack-of-all trades. He took her to ball games; she took him to musicals. He tried to impress her by listening to music he couldn't stand and she ate corndogs in a stadium. And they fell in love. She was engaged to a wealthy man who could give her the life her fathers gave her, but after one kiss with Finn, she broke it off and her fathers hated what she did, yet they had to accept it. They got married, had twins named Matthew Peter and Lucille Leona, bought a house and lived their lives."

"Is that the end?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't want it to be. I want it to last for as long it can."

"You were engaged before?"

"Yes, to a man named Daniel Weston. His family owns the Weston Hotel chain."

"Wow."

"Impressed?"

"Very much."

Rachel smiled.

"He had it all. Handsome, smart, rich. Aba and Pop adored him. But I never really loved him, though I tried."

"What happened to him?"

"Remember my cousin Nia from Aba's side of the family? The one I said you reminded me of?"

"Yes."

"They got married and they live in Liverpool."

"Come on, let's go to bed," Mercedes said, standing up.

"Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"Could you remember my story?"

Mercedes sat back down and held her hand.

"Oh, Rachel I – "

"It's difficult for me to write it down, but I'm trying. I just want someone to remember. To tell Matt and Lucy."

"Ok."

"They love you and Sam very much."

"I'm sure you'll be able to tell them yourself… but why not tell Finn?"

"I tell him other things. This isn't something he could grasp."

"I think I understand."

Rachel hugged Mercedes.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Rachel."

With her blankets tucked under her arm, they went upstairs and got back into bed.

BROKEN AND BRAVE

When Rachel came back from her medical appointments, she was so weak and fragile that Finn took her upstairs to their bedroom to rest. Mercedes watched as he carried her upstairs, kissing her cheeks and forehead, murmuring softly to her, and she thought of their story, the one she had to remember for Matt and Lucy. She sighed and continued folding laundry; the stacks of folded clothes were piled high on the love seat, smelling of fragrant fabric softener. Sam, Matt, Lucy, and Abby were out running errands. Rosy and Jake were taking a nap in their room. Mercedes lifted a big yellow t-shirt that belonged to Finn from the wicker laundry basket and began folding it, she hummed to herself and was getting lost in the song and her own thoughts when Hiram and Sean came into the living room holding large cups of Starbucks coffee.

"Hello Mercedes," Sean said, taking a sip of coffee, "Need any help?"

"Actually, I do. Could you go downstairs and get the load of clothes out of the dryer? It buzzed a few minutes ago."

He smiled at her.

"Sure thing. Would you like me to start a load too?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"No problem."

He went downstairs. Hiram sat on the couch and covered his face with his hands. Mercedes stopped folding clothes and looked at him:

"Are you ok?"

"Just exhausted that's all. It's awful seeing her suffer."

"I can't imagine what you're going through," Mercedes said, "But in the time I've known Rachel, I see that she has strength in her and doesn't give up easily."

"She's resilient and strong willed… the first time I held her, I… I just thought she was the most wonderful thing in the world, tiny little baby… great, big eyes, and she had a thatch of thick brown hair, and when she cried… the whole neighborhood heard it; I thought they would kick us out of our London flat. Sean and I - " he stopped speaking as tears filled his eyes, "well, our world started and ended with her the minute she had our name."

Just then Sean walked into the living room carrying a basket full of towels, he set them on the floor near Mercedes, glancing over at Hiram, he said:

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Hiram opened his mouth to speak but only made a strange noise, between moaning and crying and tears ran down his cheeks. Sean rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around him.

"Shhh, we'll get through this."

Hiram clung to his husband as he cried.

"All I want to do is save her," Hiram said through his tears, "If the doctor said he could take the cancer in her and put it in me so that she would live, I would do it. Each day there's less of her. I can't bear to think of the day when there's nothing left."

Sean held him tight.

"We've been through a lot. We can deal with this. I'm terrified of losing her too, but I'm keeping the faith. We fought to be married; we fought to adopt her; we fought to be a family; we've taken some serious blows and we're still here. We raised a gorgeous, intelligent woman who's an awesome wife and mother. I'm not giving up, baby, we can't give up. Booba needs us right now, ok? She needs her Aba and Pop to be strong for her."

"I feel powerless," Hiram said, "Yes, we've fought obstacles before, but this isn't a person or institution, something I can grasp; it's a disease killing our daughter. I don't know how to fight something I can't really grasp. It's like we're fighting dark forces for her soul."

"So cancer is Darth Vader."

Hiram looked at him and laughed through his tears and kissed his cheek.

"Only you would make a Stars Wars joke in the middle of a crisis.

"I'm scared shitless. It's what I do."

"I know."

"We have to be brave."

Hiram laid his head on Sean's shoulder.

"I am brave, love, right now, I'm broken."

"No, you're hurting and so am I. Neither of us is broken, we take whatever comes, no matter what. I'm beside you, baby, this is God awful for me too, but Rachel needs us and we're going to be there for her."

Hiram nodded and raised his head, pressing his lips against Sean's. They whispered to each other and Mercedes' heart broke as she watched them consoling each other. She felt like she was intruding on a private moment, so she decided to leave them alone and check on Rosy and Jake; they didn't even notice her walking out of the room.

When she entered the twins' room and looked in their cribs, each child was fast asleep. She caressed their fat, little cheeks, and though her heart felt heavy, she took solace in her beautiful children, full of life and wonder, keeping her and Sam so busy that they took a breath each time a quiet moment crept up on them. She looked out the window and saw Sam drive up in their SUV.

After he parked the car, he and the kids unloaded the trunk and carried all their shopping bags inside. Matt, Lucy, and Abby were laughing and talking to each other while Sam joined in on the conversation too. She loved hearing their laughter; those kids needed it now more than ever. She sat down in the glider, taking a few minutes for herself, she closed her eyes and fell asleep; she woke up when a pair of familiar plump lips pressed against hers.

"Schäztchen," Sam whispered.

She opened her eyes.

"Hey, baby. I dozed off."

Sam kissed her again.

"Rosy and Jake will be up soon."

"Yeah. Did you get the Drano?"

"I got it. Matt is pouring it down the kitchen sink right now."

"Thank you."

"Are Hiram and Sean ok? They barely said anything when we came inside, and then went into the den."

"They're having a hard time of it."

"I figured as much."

"Where else did you go?"

"We stopped by Michael's and got the pink and blue yarn for Rachel; and I have a little something for you."

Mercedes stroked his cheek that was rough with blond stubble.

"And what would that be?"

He picked up a small brown bag sitting on the floor next to her feet and handed it to her. "Here," he said. Mercedes opened the bag and inside was a bottle of Kiehl's Lavender Foaming-Relaxing Bath with Sea Salts and Aloe. It was her favorite bubble bath. She kissed him. "It was out of stock online. How did you find it?" "A specialty perfume shop in North Star had it." "You went all the way to North Star?" "It's not that far. Besides the kids needed to get out of the house for awhile." "Thank you, sweetheart." Sam held her face in his hands. "Now tonight, we're going to light candles, close the door, and take a long, hot bath together." "Oh, is that what we're doing?" Mercedes said, raising her eyebrows. "Yes, that's what we're doing, Mrs. Hummel." "Very well, Mr. Hummel, I look forward to it."

"And you should. You get to spend a hot evening with your hot husband."

Mercedes laughed and kissed him again.

"You're too much."

"Yet you love me anyway."

They kissed some more until they heard giggling and they looked over and saw Rosy and Jake standing up in their cribs, laughing and smiling at them.

"Ma!" Rosy said, clapping her hands.

"Da!" Jake said, holding up his arms to be lifted out of the crib.

Sam helped Mercedes get up from the glider, kissing her once more and giving her ample behind a quick, yet possessive squeeze, before tending to their babies.

***

Sam and Mercedes set the dining room table. The savory aroma of chicken, parsley, white wine, heavy cream and shallots wafted through the air, as they placed the blue ceramic plates on the long cherry wood table. Mercedes wore a royal blue sundress that hugged her wide, curvaceous hips; the hips he loved to glide his hands over when they danced together to a song only they could hear, or grip when they made love; or hold when he was feeling some kind of way: romantic, crazy, loving, whatever the emotion, he would just reach out and hold onto to those magnificent hips, pull her close, and block out the world.

Her little feet were bare except for the silver chain ankle bracelet she wore; her toenails were painted candy apple red, reminding him of carnivals and Ferris wheels, he thought about the foot massage he gave her the other day during their private time, and how she laughed when he tickled the soles of her satin soft feet, making her laugh; he loved that she had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him, loved that her hands and feet were so small and delicate.

Sam admired her as she moved about the table, making sure each seat had the right amount of silverware, completely oblivious to him staring at her. The sun was setting, and the fading golden light filled the room in shades of warm yellow, and with Mercedes standing in that light, her rich, brown skin glowed. When they finished setting the table, Sam reached for her, and held her close, her heart beat against his, she was smooth and soft and sweet, and he just had to hold his baby for a while, claim her as his, and she understood, of course she understood because that's how she was, feeling everything he did, knowing his heart without words, she held on tight as he hugged her, and he reveled in the warmth of her embrace and the energy of her spirit, and what a spirit she had, shining brighter than the sun, he could see her light in the darkest places. He kissed her neck, and then pulled back a little to see her face, and he kissed her forehead, cheeks, nose, and then settled on her wonderfully sexy lips.

Sam heard Hiram singing in the kitchen; his deep alto voice drifted into the dining room, the song was familiar, like a long forgotten tune you heard on the radio late at night, and you turned it up and remember when you heard it the first time, what you were doing, how you were feeling… it was like he was singing for them. The first time he saw Mercedes; she had cried in her living room but later she laughed in his kitchen; Hiram's song made him relive that day when he made the silent pledge to keep her laughing despite the tears; keep her smiling for as long as he could. He held on to his blue angel a few moments longer, gave her one more kiss, and then they returned to the kitchen, the stolen moment was brief but they felt it none the less.

When he saw them, Hiram stopped singing and smiled, before he resumed stirring the Chicken Florentine on the stove. A loaf of garlic bread baked in the oven and added to the other delicious aromas. The kids sat around the kitchen table, each chopping vegetables for the salad, with Sean instructing them how to properly handle the knives to prevent any injuries. He teased them about their cutting techniques; and they laughed at his jokes; it was clear that they were enjoying the time they spent with their Granddad and Zaide. When Sean saw Sam and Mercedes, he said:

"You look way too happy, to have just set the table."

"Honey, leave them alone," Hiram said, "But since you said it, I'll have to agree with you."

Mercedes blushed. Sam squeezed her hand.

"Do you need any more help?"

"No, we got it covered. Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes," Sean said, giving them a "I know what you're up to" look and raised his eyebrows, "Avoiding the topic won't make it go away."

Before Sam could say anything else, Finn strolled into the kitchen, giving everyone a tired smile, his eyes were bloodshot.

"Dinner smells great," he said.

"It's Chicken Florentine, Hiram said over his shoulder, "how's Booba?"

"She drank some water and ate a few crackers," Finn said, leaning against the wall, "And now she's sleeping again."

"Today was really hard for her," Sean said opening a cupboard and taking out a box of croutons.

"Every day is hard for her," Finn said, "Well, I'm going for a run. Enjoy dinner."

Lucy got up from the table and grabbed his arm:

"Wait, you're not eating with us?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll eat later."

"You never eat with us any more."

"Sorry, Luce, I need to exercise."

"No you don't. You never exercised like this back home. Me and Matt never see you any more."

"We'll hang out later on, ok?"

"When?"

"I don't know. Like I said later."

"Promise?" she said, her grip on his arm growing tighter.

He looked down into her hazel eyes that were just like his own.

"Yes, I promise."

Lucy smiled and hugged him.

"We can play cards."

He patted her head.

"Sure, thing."

After he left, she sat back down and continued chopping up tomatoes, Matt glanced at her and said:

"He probably won't do it Lucy. So don't get mad if he doesn't."

"Why do you say stuff like that?"

"Because it's true. He's different now, you know that."

"I don't care."

"You need to stop acting like he should be the same. None of us are."

"I just want my father back. I feel like I'm losing Mom and Dad at the same time and I hate it." Lucy dropped her knife onto the cutting board and erupted into tears, "Why won't he talk to us?"

Abby and Matt put their arms around her, whispering to her as she cried, and she held onto them.

"I want to sleep in my old room and listen to the floorboards creak. I want Mom to yell at us for not using the right recycling bin for plastic and make us sing show tunes with her. I want Dad to make jokes and chase us around in the back yard and tell us how much he loves us. I want it all back. Everything. I don't want Mom to die."

Abby and Matt held her tight, no longer whispering, only listening to her breakdown. Sam, Mercedes, Sean and Hiram began to cry as well, and soon they descended on the children and held them all, kissing and hugging them, telling them that they were there for them. What else could they do?

Dinner was somber and quiet. Though it was an incredibly rich and sumptuous meal, it was barely eaten. Only Rosy and Jake enjoyed their tiny bites of food while managing to get more on their faces instead of in their mouths. After the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher and the kitchen cleaned up, Lucy went upstairs to her room, saying she wanted to be alone for a while. Matt and Abby gave her a hug before she bounded up the stairs, her long hair floating behind her.

Finn finally came back from his run, he gave a curt nod to everyone, and then went to take a shower. Abby and Matt played peekaboo with Rosy and Jake on the living room floor. Sam and Mercedes snuggled up on the loveseat drinking tea. The TV was on but nobody was watching it. Sean and Hiram folded the last load of clothes for the day, creating neat color coordinated stacks and even separating the clothes by who they belonged to. Sam figured that they needed the chore to keep them occupied.

"How long do you guys plan to be in town?" Sam asked them, while rubbing Mercedes' bare shoulder; her skin was soft and smelled sweet like vanilla.

"We're sticking around indefinitely," Sean said as he folded one of Rosy's little pink tank tops, "We can work from anywhere in the world. In fact, we're thinking of getting a short term lease apartment in town."

"It's for the best," Hiram said, "We can't leave again. Not with how things are."

"We want you to stay, Zaide," Matt said, "It's nice when you're around."

"You're just saying that to get more gifts," Hiram said, smirking at him, but they both knew he was teasing, "We love you all very much and I'm glad our presence is appreciated."

"At least by most of you," Sean said, and he and Hiram exchanged quick glances.

"Finn appreciates you too," Sam said, "Have you had a talk with him?"

"We tried but he shut down," Hiram said.

"Oh."

"We'll try again soon," Sean said, picking up a pair of red running shorts and folding them carefully, "Say, why don't we all go for a walk? Fresh air would do us some good."

"Ok," Mercedes said, "Let me get the stroller."

After Sam and Mercedes got Rosy and Jake situated in the double stroller, they ventured out into the warm summer evening. Hiram and Sean walked beside them holding hands while Abby and Matt walked slightly ahead. Matt's dark hair was getting longer each day, almost reaching the middle of his back, much to Rachel's consternation, but he refused to get it cut. Abby had a lovely full Afro that shined under the streetlight; the two cousins chatted together, walking closely side by side. Sam noticed that the three cousins had formed a very tight bond in the time that they lived there. They walked around the block, and every once in a while, Sam leaned down and kissed his wife, enjoying the feel of her pillowy lips pressed against his own. The stars twinkled above them; the air smelled like wild honeysuckle and fresh cut grass, and another stolen moment was treasured, despite the hell that surrounded them.

They decided to walk one more time around the block and then everyone went inside where they found Finn sitting in the living room eating a big plate of Chicken Florentine and garlic bread and sorting through a stack of mail, Matt went to his father, leaned over the couch, and put his arms around him.

"We went for a walk," he said.

"Nice night for it," Finn said.

"Too bad you couldn't join us," Hiram said as he and Sean sat beside him on the couch.

"Maybe next time," Finn said and waved a glittering gold envelope at Sam and Mercedes.

"Hey, this is for you."

While Sam got Jake and Rosy out of the stroller, Mercedes walked over to Finn and took the envelope. She looked at it and said to Sam:

"It's from Ryder and Unique."

Sam carried the twins to the love seat and sat down.

"What is it?"

Mercedes opened the envelope and took out a gold card with a pumpkin carriage decorated with sparkling diamond rhinestones on the front; the card smelled like Chanel No. 5 perfume; Sam caught a whiff of the scent when Mercedes sat next to him; she turned the card over and smiled:

"It's a wedding invitation."

They looked at it together. On the other side, the top portion of the card had king and queen crowns made of gold and diamond rhinestones. In gold cursive script written on antique ivory parchment paper, reminiscent of fairytale scrolls, the card announced the upcoming nuptials:

Because you have shared in our lives

and supported our love, we

Unique Amber Adams

and

Ryder Hunter Fabray

request the pleasure of your company

at our marriage

Saturday, the eighteenth of June

two thousand seventeen

at half past two in the afternoon

Searles Castle

21 Searles Road

Windham, New Hampshire 03087

Reception immediately to follow

A gold RSVP card decorated with diamond rhinestones and a gold ink drawing of a medieval castle was also enclosed.

"I'm so happy for them," Mercedes said, gazing at the invitation, "They've been through so much, you know?"

Sam nodded.

"I know. And I didn't miss that line about supporting their love. We should definitely go."

"It's awfully fancy," Matt said, peering over Sam's shoulder; he stood behind the loveseat reading the invitation; "What's with all of the sparkly stuff?"

"Unique loves to sparkle," Mercedes said, "It makes her happy."

"Oh," he said.

"I think it's pretty," Abby said, leaning over the love seat as well, "It reminds me of Cinderella."

"That invitation is the epitome of diva. She sounds like a lot of fun," Hiram said as he put his arm around Sean, giving him a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"She is definitely a diva and the life of the party," Mercedes said.

The card fascinated Jake and Rosy; the shiny rhinestones enthralled them like moths to a flame, and their pudgy little hands tried desperately to grab it from Mercedes, and when this proved to be futile, they began to whine and cry.

"Sounds like the Sandman is coming to get you," Sam said.

Jake shook his head.

"No."

Rosy followed suit.

"No."

"Yes, the Sandman is coming to get my babies. He hears you."

"No sleep," Jake said, and he and Rosy cried. Sam gathered them in his arms.

"Now, crying won't help, the Sandman is coming and that's that."

"Come on, let's go upstairs," Mercedes said putting the card on the coffee table.

"Mr. Sandman bring me a dream, bung, bung, bung," Sam sang over the twins' crying protest of bedtime. For each bung he sang, he blew raspberries on their necks, and despite their crankiness and struggles to get off of his lap, they laughed at his antics.

Mercedes sang the next line as she took Rosy from his arms.

"Make him the cutest that I've ever seen, bung, bung, bung"

"Give him two lips like roses and clover, bung, bung, bung," Sam sang as he rose from the couch and then together he and Mercedes sang:

"Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over."

Jake and Rosy listened to their parents singing instead of trying to escape from their arms and the fate of going upstairs to their cribs. When they stopped, Rosy said:

"More."

Sam and Mercedes looked at each other and laughed and sang the next verse together, while carrying Jake and Rosy upstairs:

"Sandman, I'm so alone

Don't have nobody to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream."

SAY A PRAYER

After the twins were tucked away in their cribs, and covered with their multi-colored patchwork quilts, Sam and Mercedes kissed their foreheads, and Sam said a prayer:

"Lord, we praise and thank you for Rosy, Jake, and Abby, we are so grateful that they are in our lives. Thank you for blessing us with these miracles; everyday as they grow and learn, from taking their first step, to saying their first word, we are filled with joy. Thank you for giving Abby her voice, heart and wisdom, we watch everyday as she grows into a wonderful young lady; we love and treasure our children so much; please watch over and protect them. Lord, please give Rachel, Finn, Matt, Lucy, Hiram and Sean your strength and love during this trying time; open their hearts so that they can heal. We love them so much. We want them to make it through this storm. Matt and Lucy are great kids, but they're lost without their father, help him find his way back to them, make them whole again. Amen."

"Amen," Mercedes whispered and hugged him. "That was beautiful, Sam."

LAVENDER INTERLUDE

When they finally made it to their bedroom, Mercedes went to the bathroom and Sam changed into his pajamas. It was late and he was exhausted. He pulled back the covers, got into bed, and waited for Mercedes to return, his eyes were closing, and after about fifteen minutes, he wondered what was taking her so long, and he heard her call out to him.

"Sam? Could you come here please?"

Yawning, he got out of bed, rubbing his eyes, he opened the bathroom door and the scent of lavender bubble bath wafted through the air; he found his beautiful wife in their large marble, custom made, sunk-in tub for two, completely submersed in a white, foamy cloud of bubbles, the tops of her big breasts, just peeking above the surface. Her hair was twisted in a bun and held together with a sparkling rhinestone rose hair comb. She looked at him, smiling.

"Hi baby," she said.

"I can't believe you still wanted to …"

"Our time, remember? No matter what. Unless you don't want to?"

Sam was undressed in ten seconds flat. His fatigue immediately evaporated and was replaced with desire. He got into the tub and pulled her into his arms.

"Come here, angel," he murmured, kissing her neck, while fondling her breasts, "I needed this."

"Hmmm, me too."

They didn't talk about cancer or Finn's disappearing acts every time Matt and Lucy tried to connect with him; they didn't talk about how Rachel couldn't remember the days of the week, or how Hiram and Sean cried on their couch asking why their precious Booba was dying. They held each other instead, whispering words of gratitude and praise for the other, Sam mentioned a song he heard on the radio that touched his soul, Mercedes talked about the pictures she took of the sunrise in their back yard.

And when the conversation died, it was replaced with kisses, hugs, and caresses, and then she was on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs, he gripped her broad hips; she opened up and let him inside her; silent joy rippled through them as they made love, slow and sweet, gentle and tender; the water sloshing about, the golden candlelight illuminating their skin, and Mercedes' doe eyes shined. He held his angel tight as they joined together loving each other as one flesh, one mind. When they shuddered in each other's arms afterwards, gasping for breath, Sam rocked her in his arms, protecting her in the lavender bubble of "our time" surrounded by the four walls; the door locked and closed.

I've got you.

She nodded and held on.

And I have you.

SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE

One month later

"Are you ready for this Abby?" Sam asked her, holding her hand.

She looked up at him, nodded and smiled.

"Yes."

His daughter looked so pretty in her emerald green dress; her hair was French braided with satin green ribbons intertwined with the braids. Her emerald locket hung around her neck and she wore the emerald earrings that Hiram and Sean gave her. He fixed her hair that morning, an everyday ritual that was still going strong.

Mercedes squeezed Sam's hand.

"Come on, sweetheart, we don't want to be late."

Sam kissed her cheek.

"Don't worry. I would never be late for this."

They climbed the gray stone steps of the county courthouse holding hands, the early morning breeze blowing against their faces. Today was the final hearing for his adoption of Abby; they had filed a petition for adoption six months ago, gathered all of the legal documents, including birth certificates and Shane's death certificate and attended a preliminary hearing. Shannon, who they hired as their attorney, was instrumental in guiding them through the process: from preparing the petition, getting the name change certificate that would hyphenate Abby's last name, to attending the hearing and working with the court.

After therapy sessions with Santana and discussing this as a family, they felt confident with their decision and Abby told them she wanted Sam to adopt her. They were thankful that since this was a stepparent adoption that the home-study requirement was waived, which would have made the process longer. Sam was in his best black suit and wore a green tie; and Mercedes wore a dark green silk dress that accentuated her curvy figure. Shannon was waiting for them inside near the entrance; she gave them each a hug, and commented on how nice they looked.

"Well, this is our Sunday best," Sam said with great pride, "We wanted to look good for the judge."

Shannon smoothed the skirt of her navy blue and green pinstriped suit and smiled, emerald earrings sparkled on her ears.

"I can see that. Hopefully this won't take long."

They walked down the hall and went into a large courtroom that only had a few people sitting in the gallery. They sat down in the gallery and waited to be called. The dark reddish brown blood wood walls and floor shined under the white fluorescent lights. The judge was speaking with the bailiff, their voices low. Sam never let go of their hands as they sat together on the hard bench. When they were finally called, Sam kissed Abby's and Mercedes' hands and they stood up with Shannon and approached the judge's bench. The judge was an older man who looked to be in is sixties with white hair, thin nose, and glasses. His soft blue eyes were kind and he smiled when he saw them.

"We're meeting in my chambers," he said.

So they went into the judge's chambers and stood before him and he swore them in and sat behind his big oak wood desk while they sat in the empty red leather chairs positioned in front of it.

Shannon turned to Sam, Mercedes and Abby and asked them to introduce themselves to the judge and they did, and then she asked Sam and Mercedes to give a brief testimony as to why the adoption should happen. Sam spoke first.

"I love Abby. She's a wonderful girl and we have a great relationship; I want her to have all of the legal benefits of my adopting her. I want to raise her and give her everything she needs both emotionally and financially. I also love her mother very much and together we will provide, a solid, loving home for Abby. We don't want to only say that she's my daughter; we want it to be official in the eyes of the law. I'm committed to my wife and family for life."

Mercedes went next.

"Sam is a terrific father and husband. I've been so blessed to be his wife and mother of his children. He's been nothing but kind, loving, caring and a solid provider for our family. Abby adores and loves him. He's dedicated to being the best father he can be to her and he's proven time and again that he's committed to our family. We want nothing more than to have him become her father legally."

"Thank you for those testimonies," Shannon said, "And Sam you do understand that if your marriage should end that you and Mercedes would be equally responsible for Abby should the adoption become approved and finalized today."

"I don't plan on our marriage ending, but yes I fully understand that I would be responsible for Abby and I accept that lifetime commitment," Sam said.

The judge looked at Abby.

"Abby, do you think this adoption should proceed?"

"Yes."

"Could you tell me why?"

Abby nodded.

"Because I love Sam and I want him to be my father. He loves me just as much as my Daddy did when he was alive. Sam looks out for me, he listens to me, he takes cares of me. When I couldn't talk, he loved me anyway. He promised to be a good father to me in front of everybody when he and my mother got married. That's why I want him to adopt me."

"Thank you, Abby."

"You're welcome."

Shannon asked Sam and Mercedes to confirm for the judge that they intended to provide a stable, loving, and secure home for Abby, and after this final confirmation, the judge said:

"All of your papers are in order and I have no objection to this adoption taking place. I hereby declare that this adoption is finalized and approved," he said smiling at all of them, and he turned to Abby, and handed her the gavel.

"Would you like to bang the gavel to close the case?"

Abby laughed and took his gavel and banged it against the desk. The judge signed the decree of adoption and it was official, Sam became Abby's father. He picked her up and twirled her around the room, before putting her down and hugging her tight, kissing her cheeks, and telling her how much he loved her.

As they walked out of the courthouse, Shannon told them that she arranged for three copies of the decree to be made. She would get a copy and two copies would go to Sam and Mercedes.

"Thank you for everything you've done," Mercedes said to Shannon as she gave her a hug, "You're an excellent attorney and an even better friend."

"I'm glad this all worked out," Shannon said, "You've been through so much."

Sam and Abby gave her a hug too and thanked her for helping them. When they got to the bottom of the stone steps, Shannon said:

"Did you two need me to bring – "

But Sam cleared his throat and furiously shook his head no and Abby stood there confused.

"Bring what?"

"Oh, nothing Sugarplum," Sam said, "Come on, we better get on home," he said guiding her toward the parking lot.

Shannon whispered to Mercedes:

"Sorry, I thought she knew."

"Don't worry about it. See you soon."

When they got home, and opened the front door, Abby was shocked to see all of their family and friends gathered in the living room and they yelled out:

"Surprise!"

The living room was decorated with green streamers and balloons and a banner that said: "Congratulations, Abigail Amelia Tinsley-Hummel!" hung from the ceiling. Everyone rushed over to her giving her hugs. Burt and Carole who held Rosy and Jake, Blaine and Kurt, Matt and Lucy, Mike and Tina, LaTonya and Cooper, Hiram and Sean, Stevie, Stacey, Finn, Shannon; it almost overwhelmed her how much love she received. And what was even more surprising was that they all wore different shades of green. It brought tears to her eyes but they were good tears so she let them flow.

Rosy and Jake wanted their big sister to hold them and they reached for her as Burt and Carol gave her a hug, so she sat down and they got in her lap, hugging her.

"Abby," they said, smiling up at her, touching her face. Rosy wore a green sundress with a sunflower on the skirt and Jake wore a green shirt and little khaki pants.

She kissed their cheeks.

"Hi there," she said.

Everyone was talking at once and when the hubbub died down, Sam made a speech.

"Abby, we wanted to celebrate today because we want to show you how much we love you and are happy about the adoption. Everyone in this room loves you and will be there for you whenever you need us."

"Here, here!" Burt said, clapping his hands.

Abby wiped her tears with the back of her hand and said;

"I'm so happy right now. Thank you everyone for giving me this party. I love all of you very much."

She saw a pile of presents stacked on the coffee table and her eyes grew wide.

"Are those for me?"

"Yes, Sugarplum, they're for you."

"But it's not even my birthday."

"But it's a new day for you. A new chapter in your life and we're celebrating that," Sam said, kissing her forehead, "You always do your best and well, you're precious to us Abby."

"Your father is right," Mercedes said, stroking her cheek and giving her a kiss, "Enjoy all of this; you deserve it."

Matt and Lucy came over to her and gave her a hug. Their once long hair was now cut extremely short because they had their hair made into a wig for their mother. Rachel, who was resting in the recliner on the opposite side of the room, and was hooked up to an oxygen tank, wore a beautiful wig of long hair in shades of light and dark brown, a mixture of Matt and Lucy's hair. Matt's hair was much darker than Lucy's but somehow it looked good combined with his sister's lighter shade of brown hair.

"You're our sister and we love you," Lucy said.

Abby returned their hugs and noticed that Rachel was smiling at her and she opened her arms. Abby handed Rosy and Jake to her parents and went to Rachel, hugging her.

"Abby, you look beautiful, I'm so happy for you," she whispered, her voice raspy, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"You've come a long way from the silent little girl I met on Christmas day; you've blossomed into a wonderful young lady."

Rachel's words came out slowly and Abby let her take her time to speak; she never rushed her Aunt Rachel or grew impatient with her; she understood how much she struggled.

"Thank you, Aunt Rachel."

Finn walked over and gave her a hug too and then asked Rachel if she wanted to go upstairs, but Rachel refused saying:

"I like sitting here. I'm fine."

Finn didn't question her further but respected her wishes. As the party got under way and people began eating the spread that was prepared which consisted of all of Abby's favorite foods: lasagna, vanilla cake, steamed broccoli, tossed salad, garlic bread, fruit salad, homemade strawberry ice cream, deviled eggs and spare ribs.

Abby made sure that she talked to everyone. She found Cooper and LaTonya in the dining room, enjoying their food. She gave them each a hug.

"Thank you for coming."

Cooper hugged her tight.

"Miss Abby we wouldn't miss this for the world, I can't tell you how proud I am of you and truly how much I love you."

"I love you too," she said as she sat beside him, "Your eyes are shining."

"Are they now?"

"Yes," she said and looked at LaTonya, "You make them shine."

"If this isn't your child from another life, I don't know who is," LaTonya said, laughing, "She's got some of you in her, Cooper, I don't know how, but she does."

"I'm not sure I believe in reincarnation," Cooper said as he took a bite of lasagna, "And Sam is her father, a very good one at that."

"Oh, Cooper," LaTonya said, and then smiled at Abby, "We would like you to be in our wedding."

"As a flower girl?"

"No, even better. We want everyone who is close to us to stand up with us as we take our vows. You're special to us and want to include you."

"Yes, I want to do it."

"Wonderful!"

"When will we get invitations?"

"We're working on that," LaTonya said, sipping her lemonade, "Work has picked up."

Abby held Cooper's hand.

"I want you to be careful, alright?"

"Abby I – "

"I know you can get hurt… just be safe."

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I promise to be careful. Now enough worrying about me. Let's enjoy the party."

LaTonya asked her about the color green.

"Is it your favorite?"

Abby wasn't sure how to explain it so she said:

"It means something to me, Mommy and Sam.

"Ok."

After that, they talked about Sherlock Holmes, her new house designs, astronomy, and the birdhouse she and Sam put in her favorite tree in the back yard, it was even bigger than the one they built together back in Tennessee. After their conversation, Sam called her into the living room to unwrap her gifts. She received a new MacBook laptop from Burt and Carol, a basket filled with her favorite hair care and bath products from Lucy and a tool set from Matt.

Cooper and LaTonya got her a complete set of Sherlock Holmes books, a magnifying glass with a monogrammed gold handle and an inscription that read: May you always see clearly, Love Cooper and LaTonya, and a 500.00 dollar Visa gift card. Mercedes got her a telescope due to her recent interest in astronomy and a gorgeous jade green sleeveless ball gown made of tulle with a sweetheart neckline, full, poufy, floor length skirt, a crisscross lace-up back and decorated with tiny silver sequins and rhinestones on the bodice.

"Mommy, this is beautiful," she said holding up the dress for everyone to see, "But where will I wear it?" It was the fanciest dress she had ever owned.

"You'll see," Mercedes said.

Abby also received an assortment of clothes, gift cards, video games and jewelry from everyone else. And Sam's gift came last. He handed her a green envelope, she opened it and inside were two tickets to the Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball at the Star Pride Science and Observatory Museum. The dance would take place in the museum ballroom and there would also be a star show at the planetarium on the upper floor, and the event was scheduled for that night.

Abby hugged him.

"I can't wait. I've never been to a dance before."

"I wanted your first dance to be with the man who will love you for the rest of your life," Sam said, "And I have something else for you too, he said, handing her a small rectangular blue box from Tiffany's.

She opened it and inside was a 14k gold charm bracelet with six charms dangling from it. The first charm was a solid gold heart with an inscription: Dear Abby, I didn't give you the gift of life. Life gave me the gift of you. Love, Sam. The second charm was a gold birdhouse, the third charm was a bright diamond snowflake, the fourth charm was a gold hammer with tiny emeralds on the handle, the fifth charm was a diamond cut rose gold comb, and the last charm was a gold skillet; this one made Abby chuckle because every Sunday morning she begged Sam to make his famous pancakes. But each charm meant something and she knew exactly why he had chosen them because they were linked to moments in their relationship.

"Thank you so much," Abby said, hugging him as tight as she could, "I love you."

"And I love you. Now tonight a limo is picking us up and taking us to the dance."

Abby smiled and clapped her hands, a Cinderella dress, a limo, a pretty bracelet, a ball room dance, and a star show in the planetarium; she couldn't have imagined all of the wonderful gifts bestowed upon her; she was so happy she could burst.

After the party was over and she said a million goodbyes, gave hugs, kisses, and said I love you to each and every guest, Abby went upstairs and began to get ready for the dance. Her mother drew her a bath in her bathroom and when she was finished bathing, she let her use her scented Estee Lauder Beautiful lotion. Mercedes also washed and deep conditioned Abby's hair using the Shea Moisture products that Lucy gave her as a gift.

As her mother combed through the tangles of her wet hair, and they chatted together, sometimes joking, it reminded her of when they lived in Lima and her Daddy was alive; maybe because whenever her mother would wash her hair, her father would watch and call her Chaka Khan, teasing her in his loving way. She could hear his booming laugh and voice.

My baby got a head full of pretty hair. Looking just like Chaka Khan. I think that's what I'll call you from now on.

Abby laughed. And her mother would only smile and say:

Be quiet and let me finish her hair in peace.

I ain't stopping you. Then he started singing Sweet Thing.

Abby started humming the tune and soon Mercedes was singing with her. And Abby felt her Daddy next to her and it didn't feel sad, only nice like getting a visit from an old friend. When they were finished singing the song, she knew her mother felt the same thing by the way she hugged her.

"I feel him too, Abby."

Abby nodded.

"I know."

Lucy painted her nails and the two laughed and talked and Abby felt so light and free. The only sadness that she carried was for Aunt Rachel, who was now sleeping and Uncle Finn was beside her on the bed, watching TV. Lucy told her that her mother told her to tell Abby to remember all the details so that they could hear all about it tomorrow.

"I'll remember everything," Abby said, "And we'll take lots of pictures."

Matt wandered into the room.

"Do you want me to paint your nails?" Lucy said holding up the bottle of red nail polish.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever," he said plopping on the bed; he reminded Abby of an elf with his super short hair and delicate features. They didn't ask why he was there. The three of them were always near each other some kind of way; their closeness happened naturally over time. First it was just Abby and Lucy, but since they moved in, Matt somehow fit into the fold and they formed a unit. He laid on the bed and leaned his head against Abby's hip and rubbed his feet against Lucy, who tickled his bare soles and he laughed pulling them away. Matt was somewhat of a cuddle bug; he got it from Finn.

Mercedes came into the room with Rosy on her hip and said:

"How would you like your hair styled?"

Abby thought for a moment then said:

"A French twist."

"Good choice. After I finish feeding the babies, I'll come do your hair."

"Thank you, Mommy."

Mercedes smiled and left. After she was gone, Lucy said:

"When you're in the limo you should stick your head out of the roof. I saw them do that in a movie once."

"That sounds like fun."

"Isn't that against the law?" Matt said.

"How do you know?"

He shrugged.

"It sounds dangerous."

Lucy sighed.

"Matt you're a party pooper."

"No, I'm not Luce. I just don't want my sister to get arrested."

It warmed Abby's heart when he said "my sister" that was the first time he ever said it. Since her nails were now dry, she ruffled his hair.

"I'll be fine Matt."

"Have you picked out what movie you want us to see with Zaide and Granddad tonight? It's your turn to choose." Lucy said, getting up from the bed and setting the nail polish on Abby's dresser.

"Nah… I wish Dad would come with us. I wish Mom - " he stopped talking and stared down at the bed.

Lucy doesn't say anything. Abby takes them each by the hand and said:

"Remember, tomorrow night is the Taylor Swift concert."

"Oh yeah," Lucy said, brightening up a bit, "We should go to Sonic before the concert and get chili cheese dogs."

"And cherry limeade," Matt said, "And we can ask them to put in extra maraschino cherries."

"We've got VIP passes too," Abby said.

"I want her to sing Shake It Off twice," Lucy said.

"And Bad Blood," Matt said.

"Hey, Abby, Matt wants to marry Taylor Swift when he grows up," Lucy said.

Matt bopped Lucy with a pillow.

"I do not."

"You do too. You get all moon-eyed over her."

"I don't get moon-eyed Luce. I just think she's pretty."

"Ok, if you say so."

While they teased each other, Abby hopped off the bed and turned on her iPod, soon the room was filled with the sound of Taylor Swift singing Shake It Off, and the three of them started dancing and singing.

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

They shook it off as they sang as loud as they could and jumped around the room dancing. Maybe they couldn't get through to their father just yet, maybe they would have to take each day as it comes, but Abby knew while they danced and sang together in her room, letting loose, waving their arms and legs around, and laughing harder than they had in a long time, that joy was felt in all of their hearts, and this bit of joy would see them through any darkness.

***

When Abby was finally ready, she stood in front of her full-length bedroom mirror and felt like she was in a dream because she almost didn't recognize her own reflection. Her hair was in an elegant French twist. The dress swished against her legs and looked like a green cloud. Mercedes indulged her and let her wear a trace of lip-gloss and two tiny dabs of blush, but anything more was entering beauty pageant territory and that was something she wanted to avoid. Her precious emerald locket hung around her neck and she wore the emerald earrings Hiram and Sean bought for her and her new Tiffany charm bracelet dangled from her small wrist.

"You're ten years old and you're going to look like a ten year old," Mercedes said, when Abby suggested more make-up.

Abby liked how she looked; she just wanted to use her face as a canvas and see what else they could come up with. Mercedes' eyes welled up with tears as she stood before the mirror with Abby, and she put her hands on her shoulders, gazing at her reflection.

"Mommy?" Abby said, looking at her with concern.

"Sorry, sweetie, I'm just overcome with… I don't know happiness and just everything. Look at you."

Abby hugged her mother.

"I have looked at me, and I like how I look."

Mercedes lifted her chin.

"Abigail Amelia."

"Yes?" Abby figured what her mother was about to say was serious because she never used her full name unless she meant business.

"I want you to always like how you look. Wait, forget like. I want you to love how you look. No matter what anyone says you are beautiful. Your black skin is beautiful, your kinky hair, your broad nose. All of it is beautiful. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"And any time you start to even think you are less than beautiful, you come to me and your father and we'll remind you every day, is that clear?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"There's no greater gift that me and your father can give to you than truly loving who you are. Knowing your worth, knowing you're priceless, precious, and rare. I know it's a personal life journey, but if we can give you the tools, you'll get there sooner. I love you, Abby."

"I love you too."

"Come on, your father is waiting downstairs, all decked out in his finest tuxedo. The limo will be here soon."

When they got to the stairs Abby looked down and saw Sam, Lucy and Matt standing in the entryway. They watched as she descended the stairs. Sam started singing and soon Matt and Lucy joined in:

Isn't she lovely

Isn't she wonderful

Isn't she precious

Abby couldn't stop grinning and when she got to the bottom of the stairs, they all hugged her and Sam said:

"My darling daughter, aren't you a beautiful girl."

"Thank you, Sam. You look nice too."

He bowed a little.

"Thank you, my dear."

"Here," Lucy said, handing her a green silk handkerchief, "Mom said to give this to you for the dance."

"It's so pretty," she said, feeling the smooth silk against her fingertips.

"She woke up about ten minutes ago and remembered she had something for you."

"I'm glad she's remembering," Abby said, somewhat wistful, "Tell her I said thank you."

"I will."

"You really do look pretty," Matt said.

Lucy nodded.

"Yeah, you really do."

They hugged once more and Mercedes took pictures of everyone. The limo arrived right on time and Abby and Sam left for their evening out.

THE BALL

The limousine was a black Lincoln MKT with plush black leather interior seating that resembled a J-shaped couch. A mahogany hardwood and lacquer bar console with a steel foot rail to rest your feet on was in front of the seats. Small dome lights that looked like the ones found on airplanes shined down from the ceiling and flaming red neon light fixtures were located in the bar console with fiber optic lighting. The bar was stocked with Abby's favorite drinks: apple juice, lemonade, and sprite. There was even a jar of maraschino cherries and she thought of Matt and smiled. There was also a DVD player, Bluetooth and LCD TV. Abby bounced on the seat and Sam turned on some music. The only thing missing was a place in the roof to stick their heads out of but since she didn't want to get arrested it was probably for the best.

"Would you like something to drink?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I want a sprite mixed with apple juice and two maraschino cherries."

Sam laughed.

"Ok, Sugarplum, coming right up."

He made the drink and handed it to her and she felt very grown-up like a special lady. Sam poured himself a glass of sprite sans the juice and cherries, and they clinked glasses, before each took a sip. The view from the windows was lovely as they passed by the historic buildings of downtown Star Pride and looked at the stars shining in the black velvet night sky.

"There's my favorite building," Abby said pointing to the sliver gray stone Star Pride Archives building with four gargoyles perched on each corner of the roof.

"Why is that your favorite?"

"It reminds me of a castle. The kids at school said that at midnight the gargoyles wake up and fly around."

"Maybe we'll see them fly tonight," Sam said, sipping his soda, humoring her.

"Maybe," Abby said, smiling at him.

They talked about nothing in particular and Abby forgot how much she missed spending alone time with Sam. Things changed a lot after the twins were born and even more when Finn and his family moved in. He still did her hair every morning and they talked when they could and he never neglected to give her a hug or good night kiss before she went to bed, or tell her how much he loved her, but this was different. Spending time together, with just her and Sam, without anyone else. It felt good.

When the limo pulled up to the Star Pride Science and Observatory Museum, and their chauffeur opened their door, and took her hand, helping her out of the car, she was surprised to see the long stretch red carpet leading up to the entrance. Other fathers and daughters dressed in formal attire were walking up the carpet to go inside. Sam looped his arm through hers.

"Come on, Sugarplum, we got a shindig to go to."

Abby laughed as they walked the red carpet. She saw a few girls from her class and waved at them, and while their fathers looked nice in their tuxes, she thought that Sam was the most handsome and strong father there and that she had the prettiest gown. After they checked in and their tickets were scanned, they went into the ballroom. The marble floors gleamed, the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling sparkled.

A long table covered with a white lace tablecloth was pushed against the wall and filled with white china trays of sweets: flaky chocolate hazelnut croissants, long, chocolate covered éclairs filled with rich vanilla cream, pink, green and yellow opera cakes soaked in coffee flavored syrup and layered with coffee buttercream and chocolate ganache; and pink butter cream frosted vanilla bean cupcakes sprinkled with hot pink sugar crystals. There was also big glass bowls of punch and bottles of water with pink labels on them that said: Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball 2016. The old 80s tune "Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing was playing. Abby grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor, and together they danced to the tune and Sam even broke out his Patrick Swayze moves.

All of the satin, tulle, silk and taffeta dresses floated across the ballroom floor in a rainbow sea of dazzling colors and it was like a wonderful dream. Lace and sparkles. Spit shined patent leather shoes that clicked against the marble floor. Fathers in tuxes with slicked back hair, gazing down at their daughters with admiration and love. And the daughters were every size and shape, tall and slender, short and chubby, or somewhere in between, but it didn't matter because they were all beautiful, and they all danced in their own fairytale and Abby was overjoyed to be among them.

The DJ played a mixture of old and new songs and when the old Louis Armstrong song, "What a Wonderful World" began to play, Abby remembered how Sam taught her to keep her back straight and he twirled her around; and she saw shiny tears in his eyes. She liked this song, because it was indeed a wonderful world underneath the chandelier, gliding across the floor, her dress sweeping about like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.

After that, the DJ played a few Beyonce and Rhianna songs, and then she and Sam took a break and got some water and sat down in one of the gold tapestry chairs at the other end of the ballroom.

When Sam finished his water, he looked at his watch and said, "It's almost time for the first star show, let's head up stairs to the planetarium."

"Ok," she said and took his offered hand.

They took the elevator to the top floor. Other fathers and daughters were going up as well. The elevator had plush red carpet and shiny gold doors and walls that you could see your reflection in. Sam put a strong arm around her because it was a tad crowded, and his protective instinct kicked in; she felt so safe when he did that and she leaned against him. A mixture of sweet perfume and heavy cologne hung in the air. Abby laid her head on Sam's arm and then she felt someone tap her shoulder and when she looked behind her, she saw that it was Melanie, a transgender girl from swim class at the local community center.

"Hi Abby, you look so pretty," she said, her long blonde hair hung down her back in a straight, sleek, shiny curtain and her blue eyes were bright, reminding Abby of a swimming pool shimmering in the summer sun. Her dress was almost the same shade of blue as her eyes and tiny blue crystals were on the bodice and the puffy taffeta skirt as well.

"Hi Melanie, you look pretty too."

"Thanks, this is my father," she said, nodding toward an older man who looked more like her grandfather than father, he smiled down at Abby.

"Hello, dear, you're looking lovely this evening."

Sam turned around and shook Melanie's father's hand.

"Hi, I'm Sam Hummel, Abby's father."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Joseph Spencer."

"Like wise," Sam said and peered down at Melanie, "You look pretty as a picture."

Melanie blushed, biting her bottom lip.

"Thank you."

When the elevator chimed everyone got off and headed to the planetarium down the hall. Melanie and her father walked beside Abby and Sam.

"Are you having fun?" Melanie asked, her voice quiet and low.

"Yes. How about you?"

"I am. This is my first dance."

"Mine too!"

The two girls looked at each other and laughed. It felt like a Lucy moment and for a second she missed her sister; that's how they connected, just laughing at a joke that only the two of them understood. Melanie had always been nice to her in swim class, but they never got a chance to talk much. The only reason she knew that she was transgender was because she heard some other girls whispering about it. Some shunned her, but most were kind.

When they got to the planetarium they ended up sitting next to each other; the reclining theatre seats were deep burgundy and had soft cushions and were arranged in a semi- circle. The big raised dome ceiling was white and the lights were dim. Sam took pictures of everything and had Abby pose for a picture with Melanie. Both he and Abby had captured a lot of moments on their phones. While their fathers texted, Abby and Melanie chatted before the show began.

"What do you think other dances will be like?" Melanie asked.

"You mean ones with boys?"

"Yeah."

"Not like this. But they might be fun. I don't know."

"Where do you go to school?"

"Star Pride Academy. How about you?"

"I'm homeschooled."

"Do you like it?"

"It gets lonely sometimes."

"With all the folks at my house, I'm never lonely."

"You have a lot of brothers and sisters?"

"Yes I have a little brother and sister that are twins; they're only a year old and I have an older brother and sister; they're twelve, but they're really my cousins but they feel more like my brother and sister."

Melanie tilted her head.

"I think I understand."

"Anyway they live with us along with their Mom and Dad."

"Full house."

"Yeah."

"What about you?"

"I have an older brother away at college. He doesn't come home much. And I have a poodle that's blind in one eye. He barks at the wall."

"Oh."

Melanie opened up her sparkling blue purse and pulled out a packet of grape pop rocks.

"Want some?"

"I love this stuff."

"Yeah me too. The fizzing is cool."

Just as she poured a heap of purple rocks into Abby's eager hands, the lights went down and the show started. As the grape rocks fizzed on her tongue, filling her mouth with sweetness, Abby laid back in her seat, and stared up at the dome, feeling rather mellow and happy. The show was called the Cosmic Universe and it showed what stars actually were made of and how they came into existence; the space images were breathtaking, and Abby felt like she could climb right into to the cosmos above and float through the Milky Way and pluck away the stars with her fingers. Sam was mesmerized too, and he held her hand, squeezing it tight. When it was over, the announcer requested that they stay for a special bonus treat.

"I wonder what it is?" Abby whispered in Sam's ear.

"I don't know. I hope it's good."

"It probably will be. The first show was great."

"You smell like grape soda," Sam said, chuckling.

"Grape pop rocks."

"Oh, ok."

Suddenly the screen above was filled with stars, and music began to play, after a few notes, Abby realized it was the Star Wars theme. As the theme played the stars danced around in the black sky in time to the music; and it felt like you moved with the stars, though you were anchored to the seat. It was awesome. When it was over, everyone applauded and a few people whistled, the lights came on. Melanie touched her arm.

"We should hang out sometime," she said.

"Sure."

The two girls exchanged numbers and said good-bye. Sam looked at his watch.

"The limo will be here in fifteen minutes. It's time to go."

As they walked to the elevator Abby said:

"Can we stop by the refreshment table?"

"Are you still hungry? We can stop somewhere on the way home," Sam said, putting his arm around her.

"No, I want to take some treats home."

"Is that something Aunt Josephine taught you?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"It sounds like her, that's why."

"Good food shouldn't go to waste. And I brought Ziploc bags she said."

"Oh, God," Sam said laughing, "Alright, but be quick about it."

When they got to the ballroom, Sam waited by the exit, and Abby went to the refreshment table and grabbed as many treats as her purse could hold, and even took a few bottles of water. Aunt Josephine would've been proud:

Child, if you paid for it, it's yours.

Technically, Sam had paid for it, but she felt the rule applied anyway. She met him by the door and said:

"Ok, I'm done."

Sam smiled and handed her a pink velvet drawstring bag with Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball written in raised satin gold calligraphy letters across the front.

"This is so cute!"

"It's a goody bag to take home. I don't know what's inside it. They were handing them out at the coat check."

He opened the door, ushering her outside, his hand planted on the small of her back.

"Come on, the limo just pulled up."

The chauffeur tipped his hat and opened the door for them and Abby got in first with Sam following behind her. She kicked off her shoes because they were brand new and pinched her toes a little; she figured she just needed to break them in. She leaned against Sam and yawned.

"Thank you, Sam. I had so much fun tonight."

"You're welcome. I love you, Sugarplum," he said kissing the top of her head, "Your mother, you, Rosy and Jake are my everything. Never forget that."

"I love you too, and I won't ever forget."

"If you do, I'll remind you."

Abby smiled and yawned again.

"I know you will."

They grew quiet. The limo hummed a long. Abby gazed out the window and when they passed by the Star Pride Archives building, she stared at the gargoyles.

Sam rubbed her shoulder.

"Seeing if they can fly?"

"What time is it?"

"About one minute after midnight."

"Well, they can't fly."

"No harm in believing they could."

Abby smiled and rested her head on Sam's shoulder, closing her eyes, the night trailed through her mind, ball gowns and chandeliers, dancing stars, and marble floors, pop rocks fizzing on her tongue, and Sam saying: "I'm Abby's father." That was the best part of all.

END NOTES: Thank you for reading and reviewing! The inscription on the Tiffany charm bracelet is found on jewelry given to adopted children.

#Samcedes fanfiction #Samcedes #Sam and mercedes #sam evans and mercedes jones

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