#come talk taichihaya with me!

[the-chihayafuru-landslide]

Charles Rambles: on Chiharata and shipping the losing ship

I’m currently working on something else but I had to break away for a bit because this train of thought was too long to include and needed a post proper. This is a topic I have always wanted to discuss but have been too scared to because people are always ready to jump you in a dark alleyway if they even hear Arata’s name mentioned in vain. Well guess what DING DONG bitch ANSWER THE FKIN DOOR because today I’m breaking my silence and talking about Chiharata.

I mean lucky for me most of the avid Chiharata shippers have died in the war and what else do I have to lose since I am already hated by quite a few in this fandom (lol). So anyways this is more of a ramble (not an essay) on why I never shipped Chiharata and the reasons why I think it would have been a lacklustre ending to Chihayafuru on the basis of the way that Chiharata was PURPOSELY written.

You should have known it was over for your when Arata did the platonic Eden no Hana goodbye handshake. I blame the flowers.

For anyone who knows me, I was an Arata hater from day 1. When I was about to watch the anime people told me I was going to like the 2ND ML (Taichi) more and be very depressed. I was like pffff yeah right we’ll see about that. Then it happened exactly the way they said it would. The moment Taichi was introduced I was like oh noooo that guy lol he’s the one. Then for the rest of Chihayafuru I laid awake in anguish as I watched Chihaya have a crush on Arata FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON (to me)!! I was like WHERE TF DID THIS COME FROM??

So she did want to see him but was it because of a crush or because she wanted to play him in a match? (Spoiler: it was about Karuta)

I’ll admit a little hatred began brewing for Arata (but like I didn’t hate him but I also did y’know??) and I’m going to be real, I wasn’t always fair to Arata’s character lmao. I was biased because of preconceived notions I had going into the anime. I know this, but I don’t regret it because at least it was funny:

OK NO THE SECOND TWEET I AM STILL RIGHT ARATA SHOULD HAVE DELIVERED IT HIMSELF? EVEN IF TAICHI WAS HER BF HE CAN GIVE HER HIS PHONE NUMBER WTF

Like at the start of the manga Arata was going through the traumatic loss of the person he loved the most (canon) his grandpa. And I was like HOW DARE YOU NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS IMMEDIATELY?? Why was I so needlessly heartless towards him LMAO.

I mean he was purposely written as the boulder so WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO FEEL

Sometimes people tell me that Taichi was right (when they first visited him in Fukui) in pushing Arata over when he kicked the cards but Taichi really DID NOT need to do that at all idc what you say. I’m defending Arata’s big stinky dogs in this case. Taichi I still love you even when you make mistakes. Sorry this got off topic... (that’s why this is a ramble not an essay)

However, I never fully hated Arata. The problem was since I didn’t like him in the ship there wasn’t much to like him outside of that. I did like the relationship with his grandpa but it only seemed to be really relevant at the beginning of the manga and at the end. Arata’s Karuta arc was probably the messiest out of the three and it was really difficult for me to resonate with it. His arc seemed to be a prodigy not feeling bad for playing at his full strength and winning? I don’t know the jury is still out on that one (and I am simplifying it a lot for the comedy). I actively looked for people discussing Arata’s Karuta arc but I almost never found any and I’m not sure if it’s because they kept their analysis locked up behind an Arata loving paywall or because I quickly made myself known as another bitchass illiterate Taichihaya they kept me blocked and off their lawn. So I am not an authority on that but I think when I do a re-read I actually would like to try and figure it out.

What I did often read in relation to Arata was of course the romance the ship between him and Chihaya. Now, I didn’t read these analysis to piss myself (necessarily lol). I actually think to be fully critical and fair you should read the other side’s arguments if for no other reason than to rip them apart (which I could every single time lmao). However, now it make a me sad because now that Chiharata didn’t pan out nobody wants to talk about him much anymore. Taichihayas hate him and already dug his grave out back Chiharatas threw him in there started piling dirt on him. It’s ok Arata, if nobody loves you then I will. YES I HAD MY LOVING ARATA ARC…

Funny story after shipping him pettily with Sumire I flew to close to the sun b/c I wrote a 5k petty fic about him and Sumire (as a response to my ACTUAL LEAST FAVOURITE SHIP TAICHI AND SUMIRE) and then I started to like the ship and Arata… I was like oh no this isn’t a joke anymore… AND THEN I MANIFESTED MY CRACK SHIP? Crazy

Back on topic:

From what I observed through the bars of my Taichihaya cage these are some of the reasons people like Chiharata:

Arata not putting any sort of pressure on Chihaya when he confessed and respecting her boundaries (not that she ever had to explicitly set any since they barely interacted)

His earnestness

The connection they had to their childhood

Their flirting? (I mean people thought it was sweet the way they were always blushing around each other and using someone else’s words “the cautious touch” personally I found it awkward that’s why I cannot in good sense not put a question mark LMAO)

Both being Karuta Bakas and the idea that they would be clueless in their relationship because they would just hyper-fixate on their shared passion. (This was more a HC than what we actually saw considering Chihaya didn’t remember the game she played against Arata)

Right so on the surface level I don’t see anything wrong with any of these points? A lot of them I too like in theory. Especially a man who respects boundaries (side eyes at you Taichi). I don’t think shipping them because this kind of relationship appeals to you is bad even if they were not the canon ending. It’s fiction and you can do whatever you want. You can have your head canons and your fan fictions (like someone passively aggressively said to me about Taichihaya once lmao)! Please your Chiharata AO3 tag needs it there’s only 24 fics (I think)

Even I can think of moments between Arata and Chihaya that made me question my loyalty (ok there was only 1 LMAO).

Not gonna lie it’s kinda funny he picked hauled her up on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. ARATA IS SO IMPULSIVE AND THAT’S WHY HE’S A FUNNY LIL GUY.

Why did I like this moment despite finding it a lil awkward and cringe? Because for the first time Arata kind of understood the weight that Chihaya carried and he really saw who she was - someone who works hard and wants to win more than anything. He learned more in this little moment than he ever would playing against her. It was THIS that was needed… moments outside of a Karuta match where they could dispel the illusions that they had of each other and actually get to know WHO THEY WERE IN THE PRESENT!! Both of them had changed a lot since their childhood.

That was always my criticism of Arata and Chihaya’s relationship was that they really did not know each other beyond their childhood selves. Let’s look at what I tweeted I think 12 episodes into the anime:

This tweet still makes me laugh because of the Karuta name thing cddkj I was really going through it

That is not to say you need to know someone in order to date them. You can date anyone for any reason. In fact, people seem to forget that Chihaya herself was willing to date random man from train station who had no interest in Karuta lmao.

But surely, knowing someone intimately is something required to maintain a romantic relationship? I’m hoping that is a given for everyone. That’s why I failed to understand why people would see them dating as a victory in the romance department; that they would instantly have this incredible profound, moving, and impactful relationship instead of thing that happened because Chihaya had a crush and felt like it? Or was it because they both liked Karuta and dating would be an extension of their passion for Karuta…….. uh ok sounds gr8 but they don’t need to date to play Karuta together dclksdjknsdjk

Like what did Chihaya even see in Arata as a person? The only thing that she seems to admire about him is how he plays Karuta..

That and his big hands I guess lmao. Big hands to play Karuta with.

Because I am in my Arata defender stage I actually think THAT IS A CRIME BECAUSE ARATA HAS A LOT OF GOOD TRAITS GOING FOR HIM:

He’s shy and blushy

He’s awkward but cute

His black hakama

He’s blind in an endearing way

Domestic King (thanks to the spin off chapter)

Caring to the elderly

Occasionally very sweet when he feels like

Cares DEEPLY ABOUT HIS FRIENDS

Strong arms can pick you up because of his 500 practice swings

Gives tall guy vibes despite being shorter than Taichi (he’ll always be taller to me idc)

Now unlike Arata we actually saw Chihaya’s thoughts towards Taichi:

I mean I don’t even need to point out the stark difference between them lmao. That’s not even mentioning what the boys think of Chihaya. It’s pretty evident when you put their confessions side by side.

Like for Arata the basis of his confession is him thinking back to their childhood memories and Chihaya asking him to play Karuta together forever. So no wonder he ended his confession with “let’s play Karuta together sometime” because literally that’s all he knows about her.

Which brings me to my next point of why I never shipped Chiharata and this is due to their lack of present “screen time”. Now, do not misunderstand me, lack of screen time does not stop me from shipping two characters when I think characters might actually be a good pairing. I shipped Arata and Sumire based on their one single interaction in the manga BEFORE IT WAS COOL. So trust me when I say I AM OPEN TO FILLING THE GAPS OF CANON WITH HEADCANON.

Though it immediately becomes clear at the beginning of Chihayafuru that Chihaya feels some sort of way towards Arata (a crush) however we as the reader only got like 6 chapters of childhood backstory to explain their relationship which included Arata helping Chihaya make a dream of her own and her awesome moment when she takes a card from him. What is lacking is any cute childhood blooming romance. Most of the childhood arc is spent on the trio: Chihaya, Taichi and Arata. So I always failed to understand WHY she would be crushing on this guy other than guy really good at Karuta and me likey Karuta. Literally she said the time they spent apart made him become like a God of Karuta… Like uh this your man?

Chihaya and Arata’s bond based on their shared childhood dream is meant to be contrasted to the relationship Chihaya has with Taichi. While one is confined to Chihaya’s longing to see him (Arata) THE ONE SHE HAS WITH TAICHI IS REAL TANGIBLE AND CLEARLY UNFOLDS BEFORE OUR EYES.

This is from the first 11 chapters we early Taichihaya shippers were FEASTING

From this we understand their dynamic! Did Chiharata’s ever listen to the reasons we liked Taichihaya? Well here are my reasons: it was because of their chemistry, their banter and teasing. But they are also so caring towards each and supportive and it wasn’t one sided either. They help each other become the best versions of themselves and they also have something that the other person lacks. Chihaya has a terrible memory and Taichi doesn’t have naturally gifted hearing. They are soulmates but opposites. SUN AND MOON.

Maybe all of this could have been used to develop a friendship? You know sure I’ll roll with that let’s say it was all leading to something completely platonic. Then please explain to me what would be the reason of PURPOSELY DEPICTING TAICHI AND CHIHAYA LIKE THIS?? LIKE THE PICTURES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES

I purposely picked moments from Chihaya’s perspective to make a point lol

The only thing that was lacking from these interactions is the shoujo filters, sparkles and flowers almost like the point was a superficial teenage crush vs. SOMETHING WITH A BIT MORE SERIOUSNESS AND DEPTH.

I have always ascertained that Chihaya is clueless when it comes to love but I never meant that in a derogatory sense. She is a teenager who is figuring herself out IN A COMING OF AGE STORY! She has to start as a dumbass in order to grow up!! People always seemed to get it wrong and think that Chihaya was somehow very mature in her feelings when it came to Arata when she was most certainly not. Why did she leave Arata hanging for 8 months only to be reminded by Kana’s remarks about turning into sea foam (sea weed?) that she should actually respond to his confession like kdjsnakjdsnsc.

It’s fine that she had a crush on Arata though. At that age, I too had dumb ideas about love. I thought that the person I marry should be good at piano because it would be very important to be serenaded in the future. While this certainly would be nice I AM WISER that there are far more important qualities to look for in a partner.

Since Chiharata shippers have also suddenly become cognizant that Chihaya and Arata had little screen time together (and none outside of Karuta) they are calling it bad writing since it wasn’t “fair”. First of all, real relationships are not always “fair” - not everyone gets an equal chance to become a couple with someone and spend time with them? Not to mention that it wasn’t the problem that Arata didn’t live in Tokyo because LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS EXIST? If Chihaya and Arata wanted to they could (Taichihaya ending up long distance is almost like Suetsugu is trying to say the distance was never the problem). It was never supposed to be “fair” because thematically that’s not what Chihaya’s crush on Arata was ever about.

These girls are me being like Chihaya what on earth are you talking about.

Chihaya’s views about love at the beginning are incredibly and purposely naive and immature. The only thing that seems to matter to her in a partner is being good at Karuta. THIS IS NOT TREATED AS SOMETHING SERIOUS AND OR MEANINGFUL IT IS PURPOSELY RIDICULOUS!! Because of this being one of the only traits Chihaya looked for in a partner IT MADE HER FIRST CRUSH BE her MARRIED sensei.

On the one hand I get it Chihaya Harada is a dilf you are valid.

That’s why when Chihaya said she needed to be “worthy” to sit in front of her crush I hope every single one of the people who shipped Chiharata realized this was an arbitrary standard and really should not matter when it comes to love?

If you or someone you know had to say this line with any ounce of seriousness as a defence for your ship you may be owed financial compensation.

I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were thinking that eventually this notion would be deconstructed afterwards because damn that is very shallow and also stupid lol. It’s just very weird that so many people still thought that “feeling worthy to sit in front of him” was relevant for Chihaya to be able to confess back to Arata because…

Arata confessed independently from Chihaya feeling “worthy”

She already sat in front of him and smoked him

It definitely does help when the person that you love shares your passion absolutely but again “passion” for another (love) is not the same as “passion” for sport. They are separate and not interchangeable. That was the point.

Like I’m sorry it couldn’t get more on the nose when some NPC said this about Chihaya’s crush dcndacjkjkn.

Then of course there are the subjective reasons why I don’t think a relationship between Chihaya and Arata would be really good for them. In a lot of ways they are too similar to each other in the sense of being “clueless” Karuta bakas. That’s why so many people made a ship where Chihaya and Arata’s relationship had to be mediated by Taichi who would keep both of them in line, which, would be fine if Taichi wasn’t a miserable sod who had his heart broken. Like that was simply too much to expect from him even if he was the happily rejected party in the end… Like sorry I don’t wish that for him !! He has the self esteem of a roll of paper towel in what world would that be a good ending for him kjncjdjkn

Even in canon like Arata simply must let Chiha go to move forward (I will expand on this a later time). The love that was pushing him forward (unlike for Taichi) was actually the love he had for his grandpa.

That’s beautiful, I guess platonic love wins! Thank you, I’m collecting tips in my hat.

No but seriously there was also this holier than thou attitude that some Chiharata shippers had that they were the enlightened ones who valued the true platonic love that Taichi and Chihaya had and that people who thought it was romance were simply projecting. Taichihayas simply were not respecting Chihaya’s agency! Because YES it was so clear that Chihaya was already in love with Arata!!

Damn Kana that manipulative mastermind making Chihaya doubt her strong and passionate love for Arata!

I mean she had a crush on him, she already said she was in love with him (even though she said she didn’t understand her feelings platonic love could never apply to Arata shhh) and rejected Taichi. The thing is, it’s fiction idc what the author might have “intended”. The depth in a relationship I wanted was in the Taichihaya pairing. I never once felt guilty shipping them even though I didn’t genuinely believe in a Taichihaya ending until 246. Not because Chiharata was better written but because I am a depressed bitch. But like if Chiharata was canon I could simply write it off as being dumb and pretend away the ending while enjoying everything else. However, I was always willing to accept a Chiharata ending because at the end of the day I actually do respect the character’s “agency” to pick their partner and love doesn’t always make sense.

What would not make sense to me in the slightest is why Taichi and Chihaya would be written like that to have a more meaningful and impactful relationship than the guy who she was in love with. But then we get to subjectivity, maybe people consider their best friends to be their closest relationships and the guy is the one you date because of his large hands and supposed sexual tension. Idk to each their own.

It speaks volumes that now that Chiharata didn’t become canon people are pissed off because at the end of it they don’t even consider Chihaya and Arata to be friends? SO WAIT A MINUTE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS ENOUGH TO SUGGEST LOVERS BUT NOT FRIENDS?? I don’t even need to say much about that.

I know some people REALLY wanted a friendship ending with Taichi maybe more than they even wanted Chiharata to happen. I get it, the idea that your friend can be crazy in love with you but then be you know what after everything we can still be friends (WHICH TAICHI FKIN DID). So if you liked that theme, why are you not satisfied with it being told through Arata? HELL SUMIRE HAD THAT EXACT STORYLINE?? YOU HATE WOMEN OR WHAT.

Is it because Arata didn’t need that much time to process getting rejected (well he did actually b/c as we always said he got soft rejected) because MAYBE HE CLUED INTO THE FACT that he was fighting a losing battle? Or is it the fact that absolutely nothing changed Chiharata’s relationship with Chihaya not reciprocating his feelings? If that’s the case, then maybe the author was trying to say that Arata’s feelings weren’t that DEEP for Chihaya. Maybe HE VALUES friendship with both Taichi and Chihaya more than to make a big scene. He has been set up to process disappointment easier than say Taichi?

LIKE LOOK:

I guess it sucks when it turns out you guys were PROJECTING as much into the story as those Taichihaya romance obsessed baboons. Everyone projects into a story. It’s actually ok ! WE ARE THE SAME IN THIS REGARD. LET’S JOIN HANDS AND UNDIG ARATA FROM HIS GRAVE PLEASEEEEEEE. To conclude my massively long rant and because I can no longer add any pictures, by the time we got to 246 without Chihaya and Arata dating it should have been fairly clear that it was not going to happen. Their relationship had barely progressed and if Chihaya would date Arata with the intention of getting to know him more OUTSIDE of Karuta... SHE’D NEED TIME FOR THAT!! It should have happened much earlier and not been dragged out to the end of the manga. (A topic I will leave for another time)

However by the time we got to the ending if Chiharata happened it would simply just be the pairing off of two characters a romance conclusion a la shonen. Chihaya would be getting a trophy and a husband for accomplishing her dream.

Instead the thesis was actually that “love” like Kaurta is something you have to work towards. It’s not always easy nor is it always “happy”. Yet it is worth it when you find the right person- you will still want to be with them “by their side” even when it’s rough.

Crazy how Taichi said this in chapter 9.

SO that pretty much wraps up my thoughts on Chiharata (for now)

This is Charles reminding you that Arata is now in his Tokyo Hottie arc!

#chihayafuru #chihayafuru manga #taichihaya #chiharata #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichi mashima #arata wataya #chihayafuru thoughts #charles rambles

[stellacolletore]

i know this much (you will never be enough) summary: Mashima Reiko is crazy, and rich, and the mother of the person she loves. note: title and blurb inspired by the film ‘crazy rich asians’ because reiko is basically eleanor

“If you’re not doing it, I will.”  

Chihaya didn’t dare breath. A single move from her and she knew—she knew Sumire will see through her threat. Her thumb was perilously close to pressing the dial button. Should Chihaya say the wrong thing, she might end up having to answer to Mrs. Pressure without any mental preparation at all.

“Wait!” She pleaded. “I’ll call tonight. Promise.”

Sumire narrowed her eyes. Assured that Chihaya was completely serious about her resolution, Sumire handed the phone back to her.

Everyone in the club room exhaled. No bomb was unnecessarily detonated this afternoon, fortunately. “Man, you’re almost as scary as Mashima-san just now, Hanano-san.” Nishida remarked, finally able to swallow the pork bun in his hand.

Sumire sighed, still exasperated. “It’s been three days since I gave Ayase-senpai Mashima-san’s number. Forgive me if I sound impatient right now, because I totally am.”

Chihaya prostrated on the tatami. “Sorry, Sumire-chan!”

“Don’t be like that, Chihaya. We understand,” Kanade patted Chihaya’s head lightly. “But Sumire is right. Mashima-kun has been sick for three days already. We’re all very worried about him, just like you are.”

Komano fixed his glasses. “And as his unofficial girlfriend, the task to check up on him falls on you.”

Chihaya exhaled in defeat. She had ran away long enough.

It was time to face the inevitable.

*

Chihaya felt like coming down with the flu herself as she searched Mashima-san's contact number on her phone directory. It was a good thing she delayed eating dinner—her stomach was in knots just thinking about finally calling Taichi's terrifying mother and asking her a favor.

"You're a Queen, Chihaya," she muttered to herself, "You can do this."

Momentarily psyched up by her pep talk, she pressed the CALL button.

Clutching her Daddy Bear to her chest, she nervously waited for the other line to pick up.

"Moshi moshi. Mashima residence."

The voice unmistakably belonged to Mashima Reiko. Chihaya instinctively froze at the recognition, failing to follow through with a greeting.

"Hello? Who's ca—"

"It's Chihaya!" she blurted. Voice slightly shaky, she chattered, "Um, this is Chihaya. Good evening, Mrs. Pre—Mashima-san."

Reiko's voice instantly turned ice cold. "Ah, Chihaya-chan. It's a pleasure to receive your call at dinnertime."

Chihaya's eyes latched on the clock. Of course she'd end up calling at an absolutely inconvenient hour. She instantly replied, "I'm so sorry! It's just—I'd like to ask if Taichi's okay..."

She could hear a disappointed sigh. "If he is still unable to message you and your friends, I believe that means he's currently unwell. Now, do you have other questions, Chihaya-chan?"

Every nerve in her body was desperately begging for her to drop the line already, but if Chihaya would back down now, she's sure Sumire would find a way to still make the request, which may make things more difficult. Steeling herself, she took the plunge. "May I come over tomorrow?"

When she was met with silence, Chihaya rambled on, "I was asked by Tsukue-kun—I mean, his classmate—to deliver the notes for the lessons he missed. And our club members bought him oranges and apples and—"

"You may come tomorrow at five. You can help me prepare dinner."

Chihaya almost choked her stuff toy. This wasn't on the plan. "Sorry?"

"I believe you have excellent hearing, Chihaya-chan. Surely I won't need to repeat myself."

Like a soldier under scrutiny by her commander, she automatically replied, "Y - yes, Ma'am."

Pacified with her answer, Reiko said, "If that is all, then I must be going back to dinner. See you tomorrow."

"Thank you for your time, Mashima-san. S - see you tomorrow."

As soon as the call disconnected, Chihaya collapsed on the bed, energy spent. A minute later she got up, exited the room, and dashed down the stairs.

"Mom! Please teach me how to cook!"

*

"Woah—is meeting Taichi's mom really that scary for you?" Nishida inquired, staring at Chihaya's bloodshot eyes. "And what happened with those?" He pointed at Chihaya's freshly bandaged fingers.

Chihaya blinked rapidly, moistening her eyes. In between yawns, she explained, "I slept late. Mrs. Pressure asked me to help her with dinner so I had to learn how to chop vegetables. Perfectly."

Nishida gave her a comforting smile, "Ganbatte, Ayase. If you survive tonight, I'll treat you with pork buns for lunch tomorrow."

Resting her head on the desk, Chihaya muttered, "Thanks, Nikuman-kun."

*

Had Chihaya been a lucid dreamer, she would've realized that the castle was simply a representation of the Mashima house, the sleeping prince was Taichi all along, and the fire breathing dragon guarding the gate was definitely Mashima Reiko. If she were, she may not have woken up with a start, embarrassing herself in the middle of Fukasaku-sensei's class.

Looking at how messed up Chihaya was, Nishida began to doubt if he'd be able to buy her pork buns the next day.

*

It's okay, Chihaya, she's not really a dragon, she inwardly declared. She pressed the doorbell with her free hand, and then sighed in relief when she found Rika peering excitedly at her from the entranceway.

"Welcome, Chihaya-chan!" Taichi's younger sister greeted. Quirking an eyebrow at her, she then questioned, "Do you want some water? You look pale."

Chihaya waved her worry away. "I'm fine."

Locating Reiko at the kitchen, Chihaya presented the basket clutched in her hand. "G - good afternoon, Mashima-san. This is from everyone in the club." She proceeded to extract Komano's papers from her bag. "And these are the notes from Tsukue-kun."

"Please extend our gratitude to them, Chihaya-chan." Reiko took the basket and began to put the fruits inside the refrigerator. "You can leave the notes on Taichi's desk later."

Chihaya's heart skipped a beat. For all the stress she had gone through in the past twenty-four hours, the prospect of actually visiting Taichi had been at the back seat on her mind, overshadowed by the daunting ordeal of dealing with Mrs. Pressure without her son's intervention. Her thoughts led her to look in the direction of Taichi's bedroom.

She had never seen Taichi this sick, and she dearly hoped she could help him recover, if only a little.

She heard Reiko clear her throat. "You may see him as soon as we finished making dinner."

Chihaya's gaze snapped back to Reiko. "H - hai."

Reiko seemed to consider something, staring at her with a surprisingly concerned expression. "Would you like to have some tea first? Your face is pale."

Chihaya slapped her cheeks in response, giving some color to them. "I'm okay!" Encouraged by the thinly-veiled worry for her wellbeing reflected in Reiko's eyes, Chihaya attempted a smile, "I'm ready."

*

Having tried her hand in kitchen work for the first time last night, Chihaya could recognize how admirable Mashima Reiko moved through the space, retrieving cooking tools from the cupboards and ingredients from the refrigerator with exceptional grace. Taichi must have inherited his poise from his mother.

Chihaya put the vegetables in the strainer and headed to the sink. "I'll wash these up, Mashima-san."

Reiko hummed in agreement. "I'll be seasoning the meat." She turned to her daughter perched on the dining table stool, happily watching over the two of them. "Go work on your homework, Rika. You have nothing to do here."

Rika started to protest. "But I wanna see—" her words were cut abruptly, and from behind her Chihaya could guess that Mrs. Pressure had given Rika her intimidating gaze.

If Mashima Reiko were karuta Queen, Chihaya was sure she'd never become a challenger. If she did, she would have to play blindfolded, just so she can avoid that look.

"Fine," Rika relented. "Ganbatte, Chihaya-chan." She proceeded to go upstairs, leaving Chihaya and Reiko alone.

Finishing her first task, Chihaya deposited the vegetables on the container next to the chopping board.

Time to show what I've practiced. She picked up a medium-sized knife and was about to slice the head of a cabbage when Reiko suddenly ordered, "Stop."

Chihaya stared at her, dumbfounded. Was she already deemed a failure? That fast?

Reiko withdrew the knife from her hands. Then she remarked. "Your fingers are hurt."

Chihaya blinked. "They're all right. I can still—"

"Take a sit over there and just watch me, Chihaya-chan," Reiko instructed, her tone clearly expressing that Chihaya have no other choice but to follow. Flustered, Chihaya merely nodded, settling on the stool Rika had previously occupied.

Reiko continued preparing the meal, making Chihaya feel more and more anxious at being utterly unhelpful each second that passed. She knew she should attempt to make small talk, but her mind can't come up with any dialogue, not even about the weather.

It was Reiko that broke the silence. "If I remember correctly, you've injured your hand once before. Was playing karuta that challenging?"

Taken aback by Reiko's recollection, Chihaya failed to filter her thoughts. "Harada-sensei trained me harder so I won't get injured like that again. I, um, got these last night chopping carrots."

As soon as the words were left hanging in the air, Chihaya bit her lip. Please don't think much about it please don't think much about it please don't—

Reiko stopped swirling the ladle in the pot. Chihaya held her breath, preparing herself for whatever it was that will come out of Mrs. Pressure's lips.

Her imagination couldn't have predicted what she had finally said. Not in a million years.

"You know, I never disliked you, Chihaya-chan." Reiko resumed her motions, "Just how early you arrived."

Even though they were merely two sentences, Chihaya couldn't begin to grasp what Mrs. Pressure was telling her.

Even without Chihaya's prompting, Reiko elaborated, "When I became a mother, I promised to myself that I will raise my child with the same standards that my parents had set for me." Having finished cooking the broth, she turned off the stove. Reaching for the box of genmaicha tea, she continued, "Fortunately, I hadn't had much trouble with Taichi. He is naturally brilliant and determined. He listens to my demands and takes on the challenges I set for him. But then one day he came home saying he wants to be good at playing this obscure game,"—Chihaya straightened up, ready for a lecture—"and it worried me, not just because it wasn't in my plans, but also because the game came from a girl that has taken more than his attention, even though he's unaware of it at the time."

Reiko poured hot water on two porcelain cups, then submerged the tea kernels in them. "Just as how my parents had given me freedom to choose the person I like, I must give the same choice to my children. But you happened to come into Taichi's life far earlier than when Oligo came into mine, and I can't help but treat you with unwarranted hostility for that." Reiko gave her a stricken smile, "But maybe it was for the better. If I had Taichi controlled for all these years, he might have been leading a broken life by now." She slid one cup towards Chihaya. "I suppose I owe you both an apology and my thanks, Chihaya-chan."

Unable to completely digest the sudden disclosure from Reiko, Chihaya could only refute her last statement. "That's not true! Taichi is the person he is right now because of your efforts, Mashima-san." Chihaya recalled a moment from way back their first team tournament as a seven-membered club. She relayed the details of the event to her, narrating how Taichi had uncharacteristically snapped at Tsukuba for arguing with the word 'but' all over his sentences, declaring that a man has no use for the word. Chihaya had then commented how Reiko's strictness with Taichi had disciplined him, allowing him to become strong in his own way.

This time it was Reiko who was rendered speechless. Chihaya sipped the tea, finding her nerves settling. After finishing her cup, she shyly ventured, "If you will, I'd like to take up Taichi's dinner with the notes now, Mashima-san."

Composing herself, Reiko nodded, then started assembling the food.

*

She found Taichi covered under layers of blankets when she entered his room. Setting the tray on the study desk, Chihay tiptoed towards his huddled figure.

She rested a hand on his arm, finding it awfully warm. "Passing Todai must've been so hard, ne, Taichi?" She swapped the dry towelette for a cool one, setting it on his forehead. Feeling the sudden chill, Taichi stirred. His amber eyes connected with Chihaya's, and he muttered weakly, "Now I'm delirious."

Chihaya chuckled, placing a hand on his cheek. "Not yet. I'm real."

Taichi sounded genuinely lost when he insisted, "You can't be. You'd have to get past my Mom to be here, and you're terrified of her."

Chihaya perked up, "About that..." she decided against telling him about her upgraded relationship with Mrs. Pressure. Taichi would be more convinced that he was hallucinating if she did. Instead, she took his hand. "Everyone was worried about you. Please get well soon, Taichi. I missed beating you in matches."

Taichi grinned mischievously, "You could leave out the beating at matches part."

Chihaya felt her face warm. "Fine, just because you're sick this time. I missed you, Taichi."

Satisfied at her admission, and perhaps still feeling very much unwell, Taichi began to drift off again. Checking her wristwatch, Chihaya noted that there was still an hour before he had to take his medicine.

Reaching up to gently caress his head, Chihaya found herself narrating, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful prince who was stuck in a castle. There was a big, fire breathing dragon at the gates and everyone in the land was afraid of her. It turns out, the dragon wasn't bad at all, and so when the princess..."

#Chihayafuru #taichihaya #Ayase Chihaya #Mashima Taichi #Mashima Reiko #Mashima Rika #Hanano Sumire #Ooe Kanade #Nishida Yuusei #Komano Tsutomu #come talk taichihaya with me!

[akkalafuru]

Let’s talk about today.

Today I was involved in drama. Yes. I know. Surprisingly, that’s not a common thing in my life (at least not that I’m aware of—unless I’m the subject matter of a conversation that I never heard of or participated in. Does that count?) All this situation made me reflect a little bit on how I've been approached in today's discussion and I think it deserves to be addressed.

I honestly don't even know where to start... Anyway. 

Yes. I agree that harassments, bullying, threats to an author are absolutely inexcusable and unjustifiable. It many countries they're considered a crime and the offender must deal with legal consequences. So Yes! It’s wrong and not supported by me. PERIOD.

It is also true the fact that authors should get criticisms/audience feedback in order to sense where their next steps should be, especially in a serialized franchise (which yeah, it can be a curse but also an opportunity). Even if your favorite author may not change their story main plot, it's quite naive to believe they wouldn't consider the audience response at all; like never ever.

With that out of the way, the story is that someone wanted to call me out because I replied to Suetsugu's post telling I was upset because of her tweet. Other fans weren't happy either, but I was the only one who mentioned "taichihaya", so I guess i became an easy target. (Also, it's worth comment that the fan-police scrutiny is much harsher and aggressive when it comes to Taichi fans and taichihaya shippers. That’s a fact.) 

My post was not positive, but it can't be considered offensive either. And of course, the same way I was able to express my opinion, others have the same right to do so. I don't think, though, that singling me out, comparing me to actual harassers and bullies, and insulting me, are smart ways to address my or any other situation. The level of response I got was disproportional and extremely rude.

I was also accused of being a repeating offender and infamous for doing that, which puzzled me. I'm curious to know the sources and past proofs because those are very serious accusations. I honestly haven't been aware of this kind of behavior of mine, but if they're true, I need to understand what's going on so I can work on that on myself. As an advice, though, making plain false or baseless accusations only weakens one’s argument, so when accusing someone, they better be true.

And with this out of the way, I want to address some other points that I cannot let go of. 

I understand that we're all behind screens. All we see are profile pictures, nicknames and a bunch of text. But behind each account ( I’m not counting bots and fakes here) there's a person with actual feelings and their own circumstances. Unfortunately, the internet allows for the dehumanization of the "others", resulting in situations where the lack of respect is too evident. 

Going back to the drama part, as soon as I started the conversation, I was said "if you can't see your mistake, I won't waste my time with you" and then I was blocked after a couple of exchanges. What's the reason of calling someone out if they want to immediately cut off the communication? If this person was face to face to me, would they talk to me like that? If I am that waste of a time, why summon me to this situation to begin with? 

The words used were very rude and if I was in a vulnerable mental state, I would definitely take them more than personally and start questioning my self-worth. That’s a personal attack and a very destructive one. If anyone receives a response like that, please (PLEASE!) understand that it’s not about you! That’s a defense mechanism people use to mask their own weak arguments! Not only that, it also sounds entitled af.

I also understand that many people want to take action and show service for their causes and beliefs, and I'm very admired by that pro-activeness. There's definitely value when it comes to bringing change in the world to move our society to a better path. However, the ability to discern the actual threat/harm and make a proper judgement are as important as acting on it. That’s why actions should be taken with purpose and reason after proper evaluation and reflection about a situation.

In theory, it’s easy to tell the difference between what’s right or wrong as we get a lot of black-and-white examples; in reality, there are a lot more grays than one expects. This person was absolutely convinced they were right, and that’s fine. Again... it’s their right to believe so. It’s a shame they weren’t open for dialogue and basically treated me as the unredeemable, unforgivable perpetrator for something I didn’t do (?), throwing unfounded accusations after accusations at me; in addition to pointing fingers exclusively at me because I mentioned my preference, which seems to offend them.

At the end of the day, I believe that I at least have the right to express my take on this mess and my view on this person. I thought their judgement was poor and their action was extremely offensive. They lacked maturity, reason and critical sense. This situation was embarrassing, humiliating and completely unnecessary. Calling someone out just for the sake of calling them out without expecting or foreseeing a counter-argument is naive, plain stupid and immature. Giving a “last” word before blocking someone doesn’t automatically grant any victories to any arguments. So... I’m sorry if your attempt to “own” me failed.

I don’t care if people are frustrated or has a lot of time in their hands, but if it’s the latter, at least go find something useful to do instead of wasting everyone’s time by trying to give hot takes online in exchange of likes. All these attempts to make justice with your own hands—by exposing others and bringing them involuntarily to your mess—feels like you’re massaging your own ego, especially if you’re not open to communicate, nor educate, nor talk about this in a non-confrontational and rational manner. I was gonna mention cancel culture and online lynching (maybe online inquisition! that sounds pretty fitting!), but let’s not go there. 

I know that I should’ve let that go and not incite drama. However, I had to stop someone from trying to look good in front of their friends (tell more me about virtue-signaling. Ok let’s not go there.) at my expense by exploiting a situation that barely applies to their argument. The more they get away with it, the more they believe it’s right to repeat the same action. The more we become silent, the more they step on us.

Lastly, I don’t want to accuse this person for targeting specifically me for petty reasons. I want to quote this, though:  “tell me who your friends are and I will tell who you are.”

There’s a reason why this saying exists. Let’s leave at that.

Cheers!

[margarethelstone-2]

payback chocolates | taichihaya one-shot

A little something snatched from a bigger something I’ve been working on but can’t post yet. Written for Valentine's Day 2021, reposted now due to the blog migration :)

PS The setting is their college lives. They’re friends. And that’s all you need to know.

Read on AO3!

Taichi's gaze shifted from Chihaya's face to the package in her hands, only to go back to her eyes again.

He blinked, still not able to guess what all of this meant.

What could he possibly have done to deserve Goudi pralines from her?

And on Valentine's day, no less.

"Just to make it clear, these are payback chocolates," Chihaya mumbled with conviction, looking away and crossing her arms the moment Taichi took the bag from her hands. "Nothing to make a fuss about. They're long overdue, anyway."

"Wait. Payback chocolates? Not even friendship chocolates? My, Chihaya, you're colder than I thought you could be."

She glanced up at him, irked.

If looks could kill, Taichi would have dropped dead at the spot.

"Of course they are friendship chocolates," she parried. "But that's obvious, right? It's the payback part that needs mentioning."

"What on earth are you paying me back for?"

"What do you mean: what? That's obvious, too."

"Not to me, it isn't."

"How so?" she asked. "You're the one with a freaky memory here. I was sure you'd remember this, if only so you could tease me. You have teased me about this. Have you really forgotten?"

Suddenly, she was looking straight at him, her eyes round with astonishment, as if all of her irritation and embarrassment alike had evaporated completely. More than a little taken aback himself, Taichi could do little more than stare back, brow raised and mind reeling, as he tried to think of any situation to which she could be referring to.

Just what could she be repaying him for?

"I give up," was what he said out loud. "Unless you mean it's some kind of retribution for my coming here, then I have no idea what you might be talking about here. Not that the fact that I've been coming is enough to explain it, either. If anything, it's probably something I should be compensating you. Heavens know half the time you look like you want me gone the moment you see me at the door. So, what is it for?"

Chihaya didn't respond immediately. Instead, she looked away from him again, the arms that she had somewhat loosened in her surprise now folding back tightly again. Just like with her earlier declaration, Taichi had no idea what went through her mind; yet, that was precisely why he was determined to make her tell him herself.

Whether that meant waiting patiently or pushing her with his taunting, he was not going to retreat now.

After all, it was not her answers that he had given up on.

"Chihaya? Tell me what it is."

She didn't look back at him like he hoped she would. She didn't relax, didn't roll her eyes or waved her hand at him with a laugh or even a smile showing on her face.

She was...

...anxious?

Really, what was all that about?

"The Shinami Society Tournament in our first year of high school," she said eventually. "You'd stepped away from karuta at the time, so you weren't playing in that one. But you still came to watch and after I'd passed out after a match, Harada-sensei made you rush to buy chocolates for me. And you brought these," she added, nodding towards the package in his hands. As if it was completely regardless of her will, a small, weak smile blossomed on her lips then, a fact of which Chihaya probably wasn't aware herself but which Taichi couldn't ignore. "I never would have won that tournament if you hadn't done that. I really appreciated it. But since I probably failed to thank you properly back then, I thought it's high time to let you know now."

It was Taichi's turn to act flabbergasted this time. Surprised not only by the remoteness of the event Chihaya had referred to, but also (if not mostly) by the amount of details she'd brought up on that occasion, he gazed at her for more than a little while – until he realised that she was not going to add anything else to her tale, and instead awaited his response this time.

And she wasn't wrong to expect that.

"You did thank me, though," he said awkwardly, unable to come with a better reply. Then he chuckled, reminded of another detail from that time so very long ago. "You were so surprised by getting fancy chocolates like these, and you even commented on it, and still, it didn't stop you from gobbling them down one after another in an instant. They really were nothing but fuel at the time, were they?"

He sighed, smiling fondly at the sight of Chihaya's blushing cheeks and a frown that pursed her brow. There sure were things in this world that didn't change – and it looked like his all-time friend's puzzled expression was one of them, too.

No wonder his old feelings were taking over him again so easily.

"Winning that tournament was your condition, right?" he added somewhat absently after a moment. "If I win and make Class A, you'll help me start the karuta club,'' was what you said. I must say, I didn't think you'd pull it off. You did, though. Splendidly."

"As I said, I wouldn't have if you hadn't got me that energy boost."

"All the more reason not to regret it. Not that I would have opposed to making the club if you had lost, really."

"You wouldn't?"

"Well, I did make that decision after our visit to Fukui, which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't called Arata first, which wouldn't have happened had you not won that tournament. Still, I'd rather think even without all that, you'd still repeat your request. And I know I would have agreed if you had."

"Really?" she asked, her voice strangely hopeful. Taichi couldn't help but smile wider, even if a little wistfully.

"Yes, really," he replied. "After all, so many great things have come from creating that club. I don't think the universe would have left it to a single karuta tournament like this. And I did agree to pretty much everything you suggested those days."

Chihaya didn't reply to this, not with words, anyway. Instead, she laughed, shortly but enthusiastically, quietly but sincerely, shaking her head as if she was trying to say that she couldn't disagree more with that last addition of his. He didn't care to correct her, glad that this was what had caught her attention; didn't care to think of all the hardship that his times in the club had brought to him as well, happy that Chihaya's mind didn't guide her that way.

And so they stood, careless and content, with a bag of Goudi chocolates like a talisman of good luck between them.

A little 'thank you for the past', a shy 'I'm glad we've got the present'.

Maybe it was all in Taichi's mind, but thinking of it like this, he couldn't help but grow some hope for the future as well.

#chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #old-ish fic #fluff #margaretwrites

[icedmo]

Oh, i finally caught up with the chihayafuru manga yesterday so i’ll be talking about it here! Keep scrolling lol i’m just talking to myself.

Tl;dr? Peak fiction. Please, please watch and read it.

More detailed thoughts?

The most striking thing about chihayafuru is the love flowing out of the pages and screen; the way you can tell how much love has been poured into this series, how much love has been put into these characters, into every page, into each sentence - dialogue or simple text. I can’t tell you how rare it is to get this feeling whilst consuming media. It’s just so clear how much love this has been crafted with. Beyond compelling, really.

It’s the way chihayafuru isn’t afraid of making it’s characters lose. It’s the way chihayafuru makes it’s characters lose right when they’ve been set up to win, when any other series would give them the win, when you’re so hyped only to be met with a loss. Again to my first point, how much love has been poured into these characters and plot. It’s bold, it’s great. It’s realistic. Chihayafuru isn’t afraid at all to make it’s main cast, specifically Chihaya, lose.

And to talk about character growth in chihayafuru... characters like Shinobu and Arata, initially presented at the top of their lot, almost god like. Untouchable. Already honed to perfection, you look at them and go ‘how is it possible for them to grow?’ They exclude the energy of ever stable characters, unmoving finish lines. That’s how you view them. But then chihayafuru excels beyond your expectations. Genuinely, it would’ve worked fine to keep these characters as those near-deities, but it doesn’t. Chiahyafuru makes characters first painted as perfection grow and its amazing how it manages this.

Seriously, it’s such a simple concept, but it’s mind boggling. The writing in chihayafuru is simply top notch and i’m here repeating myself about the love poured into all it’s characters so evident. Shinobu and Arata’s growth wouldn’t have been possible if there wasn’t so much love poured into them. Example, Arata’s strength coming from how he always visualised himself playing in his old apartment, playing karuta with Taichi and Chihaya. That strength turned into a weakness, almost. Something that actually prevented his growth. And Shinobu? I could talk about her all day. But I won’t, because it’s 4am, and if you’ve read chihayafuru i am certain you know how amazing of a character she is, LOL.

Character growth, character growth... can i mention Chihaya and Inokuma’s first match? I genuinely was blown away watching it, jaw on the ground. The way it so clearly showed how much Chihaya grown, putting all her development on full blast, on full display. It was so amazing, i can’t even explain it. I mean, during season one you saw Chihaya as some amazing player - but whilst watching her play Inokuma you can’t help but think that season one Chihaya, who you previously saw as amazing, was... so weak, so unrefined. The match was short yet was such an amazing accumulation of all her development and showcasing it to you. No - Inokuma isn’t weak, not one bit. Chihaya is just stronger, she’s amazing, she’s worked so hard and you’ve watched her get to this point.

Chihayafuru being about a sport where gender and age don’t matter does so, so much for it. It has something any other shounen or sports series could never reach thematically. Harada-sensei, Inokuma, Sakurazawa-san.... the thematic game age-wise is phenomenal. Sure, objectively you may reach your peak as a young adult. But is it really that simple? No. Once you start aging you don’t just roll over and succumb to being a worker slave, focus on your kids. Only you get to decide when you’re our of your “prime.” It’s inspiring, seriously. How it shows your life isn’t going to end when you reach 30, you can indulge in niche hobbies. It’s something so simple, but it’s just such a great and rare message.

Scrap that, the entire thematic game is amazing. Strength is being free, age doesn’t limit your passion, you have to do what you don’t want in order to do what you do want. Keeping feelings inside is detrimental, hurting is inevitable. Understand the deeper meanings to everything around you, it’ll expand your world-view. When you’re lost, build something up - humans strive on a sense of purpose.

God, and can I talk about the feel of the series in general? How flowery it is, it’s so shoujou-y, LOL, but it can be so, so gorgeous at times.

Yup? Yup. Exactly.

Chihayafuru is so unbelievably stunning. It’s use of visuals to tell a story is completely top notch, what do i say. Pitch black karuta cards? Snow? Flowers? Barren wastelands, dreamscapes? It’s a beautiful series. So striking visually. And the poems, the poems... how Chihayafuru connects them to situations is superb, a prime example being after Chihaya rejects Taichi, he leaves the club, she breaks down in front of Fukasaku-sensei in the hallway and Chihaya talks about how she was the rock breaking apart all of Taichi’s built up emotions this entire time. It was amazing. And don’t even get me started on some of Kana’s monologues.

The pacing in Chihayafuru is snappy, but it’s so well done. It doesn’t feel lacklustre, but it doesn’t stall. This is thanks to how much development happens during matches - and can i mention quickly how well it develops a multitude of characters simultaneously? Again, how much love is in every nook and cranny of this series.

I’m gonna cut it off here since i don’t know how to include an ‘under the cut’ so i had to torment all 100 of my followers who, frankly, do not care, to scrolling through this utter wall of text.

Overall, i don’t have a preference between taichihaya and chihayarata - if anything, whilst i was first watching i couldn’t help but think about how strongly they were set up as a poly relationship? (Obviously my personal view, but if you were to watch it thinking about them as an ot3 it makes so much sense.)

I gotta say.... my favourite ship is sumire x kana 🥺 i just think they could be something so soft....! Shinobu x chihaya is amazing too, like c’mon... the whole ‘i’ve been dreaming of shinobu-chan’, their blatant, blatant yearning, shinobu never being showed to have interest in anybody apart from chihaya and momo-chan (arata obviously as strictly a rival, sensei has teased or set up nothing romantically between them.) i’d like to say my favourite character is chihaya but i have formed a very? Odd attachment to Rion which came out of... nowhere? LMAO. I adore sumire too. Wow this got long and it very messy and i have so so so much more to say but i simply.... peak fiction.... that’s all...

#chihayafuru #mo’s brainmush #the parts of the story with dementia were super hard for me to watch #that’s the only negative thing ive ever felt whilst consuming this series #simply because its something personal to me! #it woulda been nice if i was just warned beforehand 😭

[teannamon]

Why Do You Think This Would Work? Ch4 [Taichihaya]

They should have known that fake dating never goes according to plan.

In which Mashima Taichi doesn’t want to be bothered by his mother’s prospects anymore and Ayase Chihaya hates her sister’s attempts of finding her a boyfriend.

Chapters: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]

——————

“Oh Dr. Mashima? Yeah he’s on break right now but I think you can find him somewhere in the cafeteria” the nurse at the help desk answered.

“Ok thank you,” the small woman bowed and thanked her and turned to her companion “Let’s go find him Hana”

“Right!”

The two women walked to the direction of the cafeteria. It was actually not that crowded as they had expected. It was eerily quiet save for the hushed conversations of the hospital staff taking their much needed break.

Hanano quickly spotted an all too familiar light brown hair from across the cafeteria talking to some colleagues and alerted Kanade.

“There he is Oe-senpai,” she grabbed her arm and walked towards him.

“Hey, Mashima, I think you got some more admirers,” one of the doctors joked to Taichi to which he turned around, surprised to see his friends, Oe Kanade and Hanano Sumire, approaching him.

He excused himself from the group and gestured the two to the outside cafeteria.

“Hey nice seeing you t-”

Before he could greet the two women, Kanade went ahead and delivered slap after slap on Taichi’s back.

“Ow! What is it with you women and hitting me for no reason?”

The small woman pouted and stopped. “How come you didn’t tell us first? We had to know from Nikuman-kun that you and Chihaya are finally together!”

“Huh? How did Nishida know?”

Hanano interjected, “He met up with Arata-senpai a few days ago when he went to visit Fukui and senpai told him”

‘That damn Arata!’ he cursed thinking of the ways he could punch him telepathically.

“So tell us what happened!” Kanade demanded

“Yeah yeah, what made you grow a backbone to ask her in a way she understood?”

“H-hold on you got this all wrong,” he waved his hands in a desperate attempt to calm both of them down.

‘I will definitely kill Arata for this’

“We’re not really dating, it’s just a fake relationship”

“Eh?!” the two women simultaneously exclaimed.

For the next ten minutes or so, Taichi tried his best to sum up the events of last week and why they came to the decision to start fake dating.

Kanade looked so defeated after hearing Taichi’s explanation. Even after 5 years of graduating, she’s still looking forward to Taichi and Chihaya ending up together sometime soon. She still has her hakama and kimono designs on the ready for their future wedding.

Meanwhile, Hanano is in deep thought while listening to Taichi. Then her eyes lit up, “Wait this is great then!”

“How is this great Hana? This is just like marrying for convenience, there’s no feelings involved it's a tragedy I tell you” Kanade wailed at the other.

Hanano raised her finger, “Ah but even so, this is a great opportunity for Mashima-senpai and Ayase-senpai to get together for real now”

Now Kanade got what Hanano was trying to say and turned to Taichi with enthusiasm.

“She’s right! This is the closest you can get Chihaya to properly realize your feelings for her”

“I-I don’t think I’m following,” Taichi said, confused.

“You know how in shoujo mangas, the bad boy fake dates the shy girl and in the process they end up liking each other?” Hanano didn’t wait for an answer as she continued “Well, if and when you live together you can make her finally see your romantic side and long story short she’ll be swept off her feet like a lovestruck princess!”

The young woman exclaimed with such exaggerated gestures.

“I think what Hana is trying to say is that this fake relationship is a great way for you to actually date her without coming up with excuses, and when things are finally comfortable between you two maybe you can tell her what you really feel, hm?”

‘Tell her how I really feel huh?’

------------------

Taichi pulled up to the Ayase residence just after his shift ended early. Today is Chihaya’s moving day into his apartment, and a week into fake dating.

It’s anticlimactic as it goes between him and Chihaya though. She’s still her usual self when it’s just the two of them, still the tomboyish karuta baka he’s always known her to be just older and maybe a bit mature now.

“Ah Taichi, come in” Chitose answered the door for him.

“Thanks, I’m coming in” he greets “Is Chihaya ready?”

“She’s upstairs, still packing a few things” she gestured towards the stairs with her thumb.

Last time Taichi was at her house was Chihaya’s “Congrats on being Queen” party last year, but it’s been a long while since he went to her room.

He didn’t bother to knock on her door since it was wide open.

“Oi Chihaya, what’s taking you so long?” he asked the hunched down figure.

Surprised, she whipped her head to look at Taichi standing at her doorway. “Taichi! Come help me please”

He walked over to see what she’s dealing with. A full suitcase she can’t zip. He wondered why it wouldn’t zip so he hunched next to her and lifted the cover up.

“Why did you put your whole closet in here?!” he asked, shocked.

“I’m going to live with you now aren’t I?”

“But not permanently,” he flicked her forehead as she yelped in surprise “you’re just moving in until we figure out when to stop fake dating”

“Fiine,” she pouted and started to take out a few of her clothes of the suitcase “I really don’t understand why you couldn’t just let me stay with you regardless”

‘Because I like you for real, you idiot’ he frustratedly answered in his thoughts and thought about what Kanade and Hanano had told them the other day.

On their way out they pass by Chieko and Kenji who just came home. According to Chihaya, they’re both amused but at the same time not at all surprised when she told them they were “dating”.

“Shouldn’t both of you stay for dinner?” Chieko asked as she hung her coat.

“I appreciate it, Chieko-san, but we’ll get dinner on the way to the apartment,” Taichi answered.

“Ok take care you two,” Chieko smiled and went inside while Kenji stayed a while to talk to the both of them.

“Take care of Chihaya for us,” he beamed as he patted Taichi on the shoulder “and feel free to visit from time to time eh?”

“Sure Kenji-san, I promise”

Sure enough, Chihaya quickly seated herself comfortably in the car next to the driver while Taichi loaded up her things in the backseat. As soon as everything’s ready to go he got in the driver’s seat and started to drive.

“So where should we ea-,” he turned to ask her when he was met with an eyes wide open sleeping Chihaya. He smiled fondly at her, “Apartment it is then”

——————

NEXT CHAPTER (tba)

——————

Hooray thats the introductory chapters done ^^ Now we move on to the more juicy parts of this story as planned mwahahaha

And shout out and credits to yuvvaniq for the wonderful Taichihaya fanart she finished for me for this story aaaaaa it came out so much lovelier than I expected, bless uvu

And as always thanks to the wonderful people who read my story you know who you are but I’m going to tag you guys anyways lmao

@adeuscontosdefadas ​ @otaku-shipper ​ @my-anime-diary ​ @rainbowreflects ​ @akkalafuru ​ @squirtlewithdagger ​ and the anon who sent me an anonymous review uvu and even to those who just read and are too shy to leave a comment i love you all too

#teannamonfics #whydoyouthinkthiswouldwork #taichi x chihaya #taichihaya #taichi #mashima taichi #chihayafuru #ayase chihaya #chihaya

[seirity]

Chihaya 3 episode 23 reactions and thoughts on Taichihaya: Part 1 - How it came to be

I just watched this episode and I’m currently spazzing out at how well Madhouse executed this episode with only a few minor complaints.

WARNING: There will be spoilers ahead, so please do not read any further if you have not watched this episode or read the manga up to this point.

First off, IT HAPPENED!! Taichi has finally confessed to Chihaya!! While there were some scenes in the confession where the animation was spotty at best, the vast majority of it was superb. I especially liked the moment where it finally hits Chihaya that Taichi really likes her and that is the reason why he always goes off and does his own thing alone, without her.

To be honest, I really like the anime’s pacing and how they chose to animate things. I really feel like they flushed things out properly, which helped the audience gain a better understanding of what actually happened. You can tell a lot of thought was put into where and for how long certain scenes would play out, resulting in certain events having more of an impact on the audience. I will say that I did love how by having a slower pace, we were able to see all the amazing animation effects that sensei intended to include in the manga, but was unable to do due to the fact there are certain things that can only be done using animation.

But before I go into any more details about the confession, let’s back up and take a look at what lead up to this momentous occasion.

In the anime, there is such a beautiful, clear progression in the plot that leads up to Taichi’s confession. First, there is a very clear focus on how Chihaya reacts to Taichi doing things in secret without telling her anything (i.e. Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup). Chihaya is visibly distraught over the fact that Taichi is staying behind after the Meijin/Queen matches to play in the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup, but it’s Kana-chan who forces her to think about why Taichi didn’t tell her what he was planning on doing and why he does that. If Kana-chan didn’t force her to do this, Chihaya most likely would just lamented about the fact that Taichi is one step ahead of her. Chihaya actually tries to understand why Taichi did what he did and to determine his reasons behind his actions up until her first match at the New Year’s Karuta Tournament in Tokyo.

This is a huge step for Chihaya in her character development, especially since the only thing Chihaya cares about is karuta. She doesn’t think about anything else besides karuta and Sudo-san even makes a comment about this at the end of the New Year’s Karuta Tournament’s finals where he tells her:

“I’ve thought about this before, but it seems like your mind is completely empty even though you’re taking everything in that’s happening around you. How the hell do you do it? I guess sounds are easier to hear when your mind is completely empty.” (disclaimer: this is my own personal translation of what he said since I feel like the translation in the episode didn’t really do the scene justice or convey what actually happened)

For me, this is significant because it proves that Chihaya is slowly on the path to realizing Taichi is an important person in her life.

In the following episode after the New Year’s Karuta Tournament and the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup, Taichi is at the forefront of Chihaya’s thoughts. She notices that he is simply going through the motions of playing karuta and his heart isn’t really in it and wants to ask him so many different questions: “Why did he enter the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup alone? How did his match go against Arata?” But she realizes she can’t ask him any of these things anymore, even though he’s so close to her.

Even when the girls are making chocolates for the boys, Chihaya suddenly bursts into tears after they talk about how even Taichi would barf if he was given fermented squid on Valentines Day, despite how nice he is.

In the end, it comes back to Chihaya wondering why Taichi always has to go off and do things on his own even though it’s more fun doing things with everyone else. The only difference here is that she wants him to smile. This is a big deal for Chihaya and another instance in which she has such a huge character development. Up to the this point, Chihaya has always been selfish and karuta is the only thing on her mind. The fact that she is completely distraught over how depressed Taichi is and how much he seems to be suffering alone proves that she’s finally thinking of someone else for once. She’s thinking of someone else’s feelings. The girl that only thinks about karuta is earnestly and wholeheartedly thinking about someone else and their happiness for a change. This isn’t the butterflies she gets when she remembers Arata’s confession or her desire to understand how Arata is able to play the way he is. She wants Taichi to smile. She wants Taichi to be happy and to not struggle so much and not suffer. THIS IS HUGE FOR CHIHAYA. Unfortunately, the girls’ Valentines plans are completely ruined by Chihaya’s father and Chihaya never gets to see Taichi smile on Valentines Day. However, this failure sets the stage for my next point.

After failing to get Taichi to smile on Valentines Day, Chihaya’s desire to make Taichi happy only grows and she becomes even more determined to make it happen no matter what. She ends up organizing a karuta tournament for Taichi on the day of his birthday. As she is organizing the tournament, she also asks Tsuboguchi-san to talk to Taichi about his match with Arata. This is also really significant because Chihaya is trying to help Taichi, even if she won’t know the details herself. Personally, I think she asks Tsuboguchi-san to talk to Taichi since she thinks it’ll help Taichi to talk to another guy about it. If all she wanted to do was ask Taichi about Arata, I think she would have done it herself. By not asking Taichi herself about his match with Arata and instead asking someone else to talk to him, Chihaya has demonstrated that what she truly wants is for Taichi to be happy again and to smile.

Tsuboguchi-san’s comment in the last part of this scene just drives this point home, since 馬鹿だな in this context has the connotation that someone is being dense or an idiot. It’s clear to Tsuboguchi-san that Chihaya asked him to do this because she cares about Taichi and not because she wants to know more about Arata.

Sumire’s reaction to Taichi telling her he’s going to confess to Chihaya is another instance where Chihaya’s determination to make him happy is apparent. Sumire wanted to be pretty, because she liked Taichi, but she was wrong.

Sumire: ‘I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be pretty, but I was wrong. Liking someone isn’t about making yourself pretty. Liking someone is insatiable, tenacious, and....’ (disclaimer: I think insatiable is a much better translation of 強欲 here because while you are being greedy in sense that you want more, this is more the fact that you want more because you are insatiable.) Chihaya: ‘I want to make Taichi happy!‘

Just the timing in which Chihaya says that she wants to make Taichi happy is impeccable. Liking someone is essentially insatiable, tenacious, and wanting to make them happy. That’s why Sumire was wrong.

Lastly, just the fact that Chihaya organized an ENTIRE karuta tournament to celebrate Taichi’s birthday speaks for itself how much she cares about him and wants him to be happy. She invited and was in contact with everyone using a flip phone. That is extremely difficult and tedious since it takes so long to type everything out. This is already an unpleasant task in English, but in Japanese it’s just downright god awful.

So after all of these events, it’s quite clear to the audience that Chihaya cares deeply for Taichi and likes him to some degree, even if she herself is not aware of her own feelings.

On to part two: the confession!

#chihayafuru #ayase chihaya #mashima taichi #hanano sumire #tsuboguchi hiroshi #taichihaya #chihaya x taichi #taichi x chihaya

[homefronttmoved]

♫ / taichihaya c:

send me ♫ and I will make a 5-10 SONG PLAYLIST for our muses!   \   accepting.   @heartfated. 

001.   always i’ll care  /  jeremy zucker. 

okay i’m going to preface this playlist with  THIS SONG.  it’s for that short period of them not talking,  where taichi is just trying to distance himself from chihaya and everything that reminds him of her.  i feel like the lyrics just mirror every single one of those moments while also mirroring those slivers of hope given to us through symbolisms that they will eventually find their way back to each other regardless. 

002.   alright  /  keshi. 

this is the song for their tag and it makes me want to cry every single time.  i feel like this is what chihaya’s side is like after taichi’s confession.  the lyrics just giving us the whole chihaya thinking about them before everything that went down.  her being sad and obviously shattered at the situation before coming to terms with it eventually.  and lastly her being just...  hopeful that he’ll come back to her?   ( with or without you i waited my whole life  /  i can wait a little longer )   and just...  yeah this pretty much sums up the chihaya side of that whole angst arc. 

003.   dreaming alone   /   against the current. 

oh god...  PINING...  THE MUTUAL PINING IS REAL IN THIS ONE.  ignoring the implication that there is someone else in the picture in the song’s context   ( or not,  we both know arata’s a factor here HFKJDHFJDKF ).  this just feels like the mutual pining post confession but also prior to the confession ?   like  is it me that you see when you fall asleep  /  cause you know it’s you  /  i dream about every night   tell me that is not the epitome of their mutual pining.  and the last line????  it will always be you and me  /  so why do we keep dreaming alone ?   THEY’RE ENDGAME. 

004.   why do i still   /   nieman. 

ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the mutual pining is real in this one too?   but also it dwells more on the friendship and the  fear  of losing that if one makes a wrong step.  it literally says:  i can’t reveal how i really feel  /  cause i’m scared of ruining what we’ve built  taichi’s hesitance to tell chihaya anything ?  while being  LOUD  about it through his actions ?  yep...  this song just...  perfectly mirrors all of that.  and this is taking into account that they have built an empire together with the mizusawa high karuta club...   that’s like a LOT at stake.  i feel like this song just captures a lot of that fear and hesitance. 

005.   tell her you love her  /  echosmith. 

TAICHI THIS IS FOR YOU :DDDD  but mostly for pre-confession taichi.  i don’t think i need to explain this further tbh,  the title speaks for itself. 

006.   lite   /   loop. 

the way this song is so poetic never fails to get me EVERY SINGLE TIME.  taichihaya being each other’s pillars of support is something that i feel like is mirrored in this song ?  especially taichihaya after their short separation after junior high.  i just know that chihaya’s life is completely  BLEAK  without taichi.  the way chihaya dealt with playing karuta alone while searching for people who would share the same interests with her wholeheartedly?  and while chihaya may be  extremely  oblivious regarding social situations in general,  i just know that she feels a little lonely knowing that her friends couldn’t quite take who she is wholly.  everyone she’s met all kind of found the karuta loving part of her weird and that makes her sad and then BAM taichi comes back into her life and suddenly everything is okay again.  because he’s there and suddenly the world is back on its axis. 

007.   a little braver   /   new empire. 

this song made me cry so many times,  ngl.  but the way i see it...  this is sort of an ode for when they finally get together?  when they finally find themselves in the end  —  with chihaya finally being able to stand on her own two feet especially with karuta without being dependent on taichi’s close support   ( she has to come to terms that taichi supporting her from afar while finding himself amongst the mess that is everything post-confession arc is possible and that just because there’s a time where he’s not beside her,  it doesn’t mean that he hates her  or  that he’s stopped being her friend entirely ),  and taichi finally being able to love karuta in a way that’s not centered on chihaya as well as finding something else that motivates and inspires him that is not chihaya or his feelings for her.  because you know...  when all of this happens...  they’re both a little braver and more mature than they have been and they’re ready to start over again. 

#heartfated #long post / #* — ♥ ; ayase chihaya. \ insp. #* — ♥ ; ayase chihaya. \ answered. #* — ♥ ; i swear that i'll pick up the pieces. \ sh. chihaya & taichi. ( heartfated. ) #OK I'M NOT GONNA LIE THIS MADE ME CRY #ESPECIALLY THE LAST TWO SONGS #like it's a mix of painful and hopeful and that'S EXACTLY HOW I LIKE IT??? #this is my masterpiece #no cap

[formashimataichi]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I don't understand why you're so against people still shipping taichihaya like I agree with you that it's going to be either chiharata or a not romantic ending but it doesn't affect you in any way that people ship it so just let people enjoy things!!!

Ps: You don't need to answer this if you don't want to and please don't take this like something personal, I just think it's better let people enjoy it like they want to

It’s not so much that I’m against people shipping it as that it’s frustrating to see the fandom overwhelmingly ignore a lot else about the series solely in favor of focusing on the two of them alone. And this is coming from someone who first got into the series seven years ago (not to mention used to ship them exclusively for six of those years), and. . . Things still haven’t changed. This also doesn’t get into the issue wherein so many people are so invested in the pairing that they lambast Chihaya for not reciprocating Taichi’s feelings and call her selfish and uncaring for being unaware of his troubles, when he never made the move to actually open up to her about them and only confessed before their final year in high school. Chihaya has always cared about Taichi immensely and there’s several moments where she even forgoes her fixation on Arata to support him instead. It’s not her fault that she’s unaware of his feelings for her, and it’s not her fault for not reciprocating. I do think it’s naive and misunderstanding of her to beg him to stay once he submits his application to leave, but it’s one moment of selfishness from her compared to every chapter after where she takes the utmost care to understand his feelings and give him space. There’s a video of Taichi leaving the club from the anime this year that went viral on YouTube, nearly a million views, and all of the top comments are filled with similar sentiments calling Chihaya clueless, uncaring, insensitive to his feelings for her, undeserving of them, etc. I don’t think it’s wrong to enjoy a ship, and there’s plenty about Taichihaya and their tragic romance that I love. I’ve answered and written a lot of meta about their relationship with effort and care because their narrative is very important to me. But I’m tired of seeing people constantly put Chihaya down as a result of it, or even seeing people put Arata down, because they don’t care about the story outside of this specific relationship becoming canon. Considering Chihayafuru is such an extensive series that has so much to offer, it’s exhausting to have to parse through hordes of content where people are constantly complaining about how Taichi deserves so much better than Chihaya, or people arguing over which boy deserves Chihaya more as if she’s only a prize to be won and nothing more, when that’s not remotely the point. I’m honestly also frustrated that Madhouse decided to end the third season where they did, because while it presents a great cliffhanger, it sets up Chihaya to be hated even more by anime-only viewers despite how much she does to make things up to and be respectful of Taichi afterward. I’ve talked to so many people who wanted to drop the series as a whole simply because of what happened at the end of the third season, or because they don’t see hope for the ship in general, and I had to convince them to keep reading. Obviously, to each their own. I can’t help it if someone wants to drop a series for personal reasons related to their own tastes. But I do think it’s disheartening to drop a series like Chihayafuru over one ship, when it offers so much more than that. And I say this from personal experience, too, because when Taichi left the club in the manga, I dropped the series. I didn’t read it for six years and only stayed on the periphery of fandom reblogging things because I felt so betrayed and frustrated. But reading the series again this year from the beginning really opened me up to just how much I had ignored or disregarded in favor of harboring this one grudge, and I think it’s possible for other people to recognize, too. And to be clear, it won’t be like that for everyone, obviously, but if it can happen for me, it can happen for someone else, too.

#i’m not going to tag this with anything bc we know what happened last time i did that lol #but i hope this explains it better #and i really don’t mind getting taichihaya meta questions #some of the stuff ppl have asked me is lovely and has lead me to realize things i never considered before #so i hope no one takes it as me dismissing them entirely #but i wanted to answer this before some of the other asks i had bc it feels impt to clarify #and i hope that it does accomplish that #also just as an aside #but i feel like a lot of ppl who ship it tend to put taichi up on this pedestal in comparison to chihaya #(a lot of ppl that used to include me in previous years) #and it’s just not something i rly want to invest in anymore #but fandom tends to put taichi on a pedestal in general even outside chihaya #and i think i have talked about that somewhere i can’t remember where though #anyways. i didn’t mind answering this question! #and i hope this answers it properly #musings

[margarethelstone]

Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears... on Discord?

So as the final chapter of the first volumes come closer (hopefully, I’ll be posting it tomorrow evening CET!), the wait for the next one will be much longer. After all, that’s why it comes in volumes in the first place: so that the only big gaps are the ones in between whole string of events (eg. the conversation in Volume 1!) and not coming unexpectedly in the middle of it due to unexpected events in my own life.

With that said, I’d still love to interact with anyone interested in the story and willing to talk about it! I know the taichihaya fandom is a small one, and even smaller the circle of readers interested in my work... But if you are one of them, then click here :)

I want to keep the discord simple. A few channels, some for art, some for the anime discussion, some for the manga chat - but basically a safe environment for all the taichihaya fans willing to talk about their obsession with others (like me!).

Love you all!

(if by some chance the link isn’t working, don’t be afraid to send me a message directly)

#Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears #chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #discord #discord server #taichihaya discord #small fandoms

[otaku-shipper]

A Taichihaya one-shot: because she asked me

Summary:  I hated how softly she pleaded and how sure she sounded. It was when she was sure that I almost always ended up wrong.

Taichi and Chihaya finally caught up with each other in Omi Jingu and attempted to talk like calm, normal adults.

As Mount Arima

Sends its rustling winds

Across Ina’s bamboo plain,

I will be just as steadfast

And never will forget you.

____________________________________

The question of the day, as I expected it, was:

"Are you just going to leave?"

I heard it from Chitose-san after I led her back to Kangakukan. Actually, she didn't sound like she was asking rather than reprimanding me and her eyebrows were suspiciously raised, unconvinced at my reason or the lack thereof.

I heard it from Arata, who despite the match he lost, looked composed for the subsequent round. Without telling me anything, I know he had already figured out a way to bring the gold home. As expected, there was nothing else for me to do for someone whose turf is karuta. I think he was going to say something else, the first syllables on his tongue. That's when I knew I didn't want to hear it so I quickly cut him off with my last well-wishes and walked away before he could impose it on me.

Suo-san, who caught me at the exit doors, also asked the same thing after he scolded me for my cheekiness for bringing his aunt and cousin without me asking. At least, he tried to scold me. I was taken aback when I saw a momentary flash of sympathy across his face when he asked me that question. But when I courageously looked him squarely in the face, the sentiment disappeared and I saw his resolve instead. Where others might have seen indifference or had judged him as being too complacent for someone whose title was on the line, I saw a righteous pride that refused to give up. Only those who had sat across from him and saw him not as the Meijin with a nasty karuta but as a human could only see that a lot of his fighting spirit remained. I knew this too out of a first-hand experience because it was how I felt when I was carefully arranging my cards back at my last match in the Meijin Qualifier.

A willing resignation to fight and see it through the end-whether win or lose.

Maybe because I perceived more than he would have liked, he turned sideways and pretended to look at the open hallway expectantly, as if he knew someone else was coming or the Queen match had ended. Because I knew he didn't need me to answer, and I was afraid that someone else might be coming, I wished him good luck. There was nothing to defend here so I turned to leave by the backdoor.

Read more in Fanfiction or AO3 link in notes

#chihayafuru #chihayafuru fanfiction #taichihaya #taichi x chihaya #chihaya ayase #taichi mashima

[natsumi-no-hotaru]

Chihayafuru #23: The elusive bridge

AKA. “Welcome to the Taichihaya club, Kanade Oe-sama! We hope your stay with us will be fruitful and to your utter delight!”

AKA. Natsumi lied. Sorry for the crazy long time gap between #22 and #23.

[Previously: Kanatomu took the spotlight and saved the episode.]

I feel like dying a little inside every time I watch this episode. No doubt I have always strongly empathized with Taichi from the very beginning (okay, more like after he lost the primary school karuta match to Chi-chan) and there’s no surprise on that count. However, it’s not only Taichi’s realisation of having hopelessly fallen head over heel for our ditzy heroine that got me this time, but also Chi-chan’s attempt to bridge the vast distance between her and Arata. As soon as one can look past the whole shipping rivalry (read: me), it’s not hard to see why Chi-chan would try so hard to reach out to someone so dear to her and yet cut off from her life for so long. From my personal experience, I understand what it’s like to be part of a really awesome group of friends in the past and wanting to get back those glory days. And Arata, is a really cool guy, and this is me being sincere and keeping it real.

With that said, I do want to talk about Taichi and his grappling with the question of to be selfish or selfless, be in it love or in karuta. 

In karuta

Barring her parents, there’s no one who understands Chi-chan better than Taichi. He could tell that the loss against miss-Ex-Queen (frankly, my dear I don’t give a damn) shook Chi-chan immensely and left to her own device, she would not be able to stop wrestling with herself about her mistakes. He also knew that there is no better way to distract her from such self-torture but to talk of Arata, even provoking her of his communication with Arata. Chi-chan’s banging at the locker door is absolutely hilarious, even if one was so concerned for her barely a moment ago, and it shows how far Taichi is willing to go to cheer up Chi-chan.

“I know how much it hurts to lose after trying your best, but my words won’t be able to reach her. Only Arata can help her.” 

And there goes my heart. Though some solace is given when Chi-chan opens the locker and pulls Taichi along to watch Harada-sensei’s match against Sudo. 

At least one can always count on Chi-chan to remind Taichi that he’s not meant to be a spectator, but a potential opponent of all the players present. He cannot always give up opportunities to better his karuta in order to be a supporter to Chi-chan, a notion that will be driven home in the next episode.

“Yeah, I’m hopeless... hopelessly in love with her.”

That sense of buoyancy from within when you are suddenly given a glance of another glimmering facet of that dear, dear person is absolutely precious. It’s not necessarily something new or surprising that you are treated to but somehow it reminds you of all that your beloved is to you and just sweeps you off your feet entirely. The expression of being “hopelessly in love” doesn’t ring truer than this.

Yep, hopeless. 

In matters of the heart

Tsutomu: ...After spending all that time with her, she doesn’t even seem that beautiful anymore.

Kana-chan: The reason why no one from our school approaches her is because she’s always with Mashima-kun.

First of all, thank God for Kana. She brought so much to this series - be it her lectures on Japanese poetry and culture, her grace, or in this particular incident, her wise guidance when she plainly told Chi-chan to turn down the boy from a different school who asked her out. 

“Go ahead and give it a shot. You need to experience it for yourself. You can’t go out with a guy who hasn’t seen you play karuta.”

And when Chi-chan revealed that she already gave the guy her number...

And most importantly, thank God for Kana being a Taichihaya shipper :)))

Truly, the nincompoops have no clue at all. 

On a more serious note, what will Taichi do if Arata, or even a different karuta player, comes to ask Chi-chan out on a fine day? 

The bridge

Chi-chan: I would be having more fun if the other club members were also here. 

Tsutomu: When you find yourself wishing that a certain person was also here, that person is like your family regardless of how long you’ve known them.

One can say that it portends romance between Chi-chan and Arata, given the comparison made in context of the misty bridge of magpies. Lovers long separated given a chance to reunite under very specific circumstances are not unlike Chi-chan and Arata meeting each other only at karuta tournaments. Or it can just be an innocent analogy, as after all, “cellphones are like the misty bridge”.

Omake

Memorable quote by Harada-sensei:

On knowing of Chi-chan’s bet with Sudo with the loser having to shave her/his hair:

LOL, we are in full agreement, Kana-chan. 

After Chi-chan ran off from the karuta playing room and locked herself in the locker.

The team’s spirit is really warming the cockles of my heart here, guys. 

Hahaha, until the next time then!

#Chihayafuru #chihayafuru anime #chihayafuru season 1 #chihayafuru marathon #Chihaya Ayase #ayase chihaya #Mashima Taichi #Taichi Mashima #taichihaya #taichimashima4tw #karuta #natsumi watches #natsumi talks

[stellacolletore]

i. kanade finds chihaya alone in the club room

Finding Chihaya sprawled on the tatami mat is a sight Kanade did not know she missed until she sees it again. It is late in the afternoon and the club meeting is cancelled as the members need to pore over their studies for exam week. She herself is about to go home, but her footsteps had drawn her here before she could even think of a reason why.

She enters the room and settles on the space beside Chihaya.

“What brings you here, Chihaya-chan?”

Chihaya’s eyes spring open in surprise. She must have been in deep thought, Kanade notes. Her friend’s outstanding hearing allows her to quickly sense them whenever they’re around that Kanade’s long used to being on the receiving end of her greetings.

Chihaya sits up, turning towards her. “Kana-chan…” she pauses for a second. “I needed somewhere to think, that’s all.”

It’s understandable. In between the whirlwind of last weekend’s Meijin and Queen matches and the upcoming university entrance exams, there are merely a few moments for Chihaya to take in everything that has been happening. Indeed, this quiet hour in the club room is the perfect time and place for mulling over pensive thoughts. Still, something is telling her she shouldn’t leave Chihaya alone just yet.

Kanade lies down on the tatami mat. “This is nice,” she announces to the startled girl beside her. With a hint of wistfulness, she admits, “I should have done this more often.”

“But it’s really an unladylike thing to do and you’re a graceful girl, Kana-chan, so there’s nothing to feel sorry about!” Chihaya supplies immediately, her sincerity bringing a fond smile to Kanade. Laying back on the floor again, Chihaya mutters, “You know, I’m not sure if it’s possible for me to ever become a graceful girl. Or even understand how it is to be like one.”

The concerning tone of her voice prompts Kanade to ask. “What have you been thinking about earlier, Chihaya-chan?”

Kanade could feel Chihaya stiffen slightly beside her. A few seconds pass before she hears a muted reply. “I was thinking about what should I have said to Taichi when…when he told me he loved me before.”

Eh?! So he did tell her?! That explains a lot of things but—when did that happen? How? It took all her self-control for Kanade to conceal the dizzying questions in her mind. Feigning a calm demeanor, she asks instead, “I see. Do you perhaps regret what you said to him back then?”

“I don’t know,” Chihaya answers, seemingly frustrated at herself. “I just know it was wrong because it hurt him enough to leave karuta, to leave the club, to leave…me.”

“Oh, Chihaya-chan.” Kanade loves Chihaya for all that she is; however, she can’t deny not hoping to have a conversation like this with her dear friend, one who has long been entangled in matters of love whether or not she’s ready to welcome it. Nevertheless, it is worrying to witness her perpetually cheerful friend in distraught. It’s clear that Chihaya had been deeply affected with President Mashima’s previous departure, but she evidently had no clue about the extent that feeling went. Attempting to provide some level of comfort, Kanade says, “But he’s come back now. Everything’s fine.” She looks over Chihaya, only to find a weary expression on her face. It’s not, it seems to say.

A new understanding dawns on Kanade. If she understands this correctly, then…

“You are worrying about what happens after you two graduate, aren’t you?” Chihaya’s open expression tells her she’s right. Kanade pushes on, “Chihaya-chan, even though you and President Mashima are going to different universities, it’s still possible to meet with each other. You can ask him to eat with you or to play karuta at the Shiranami society when there’s time. Unless…” It’s now or never, Kanade thinks as she finds her voice again, “…that wouldn’t be enough for you?”

Kanade fixes her gaze at Chihaya, determined not to miss her reaction. Chihaya’s eyes are open wide, and Kanade’s sure that the intention behind her question got through to her. Then, most unexpectedly, she covers her face with her hands as starts to snivel. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Not when he says his feelings for me have faded away.”

So she’s heard us before?  Pushing aside the thought, she focused on consoling her friend. “Look at me, Chihaya-chan,” Kanade waits for her to heed her request before continuing. “You trust me to know things about poetry and love, and so I want you to believe me when I tell you this: President Mashima is lying. I could tell that he still loves you. So tell him what you wish to let him know, Chihaya-chan.” Kanade gives her an encouraging smile, her own heart soaring in happiness for her friends.

Chihaya takes a steadying breath, appearing soothed, but then she’s overcome with another worry. “I can’t.”

“It’s not that hard, Chihaya-chan. You just have to tell him you want him to stay with you and—” Kanade’s advice is cut off at the sight of Chihaya shaking her head. “No. I can’t tell him anything.”

It’s Kanade’s turn to be baffled. “What do you mean—?”

Chihaya’s face crumples as she suddenly wails, “I can’t tell him anything because I can’t find him anywhere! I’ve been searching for him this whole week and he’s nowhere—not in the library, or his cram school entrance, and I can’t bother him during class…” She collapses on the tatami mat once again, “At this rate, I won’t ever see him ‘til graduation! And only to tell goodbye!”

Before she could stop herself, Kanade bursts into laughter. Chihaya looks at her, petulant. “Kana-chan!”

Wiping at the moist in her eyes, Kanade explains, “Sorry, Chihaya-chan. You’re right, Prez isn’t around right now—but only because he’s on ‘house arrest’ for the week, as Nishida-kun calls it.”

“Huh?”

“Prez has his entrance exam this weekend, and since he took the time to watch someone play last Saturday,” Kanade gives her a playful wink, “his mother had him locked him up in his room to catch up on his studies. According to Tstutomu-kun, even his phone was confiscated.”

Chihaya was awestruck for a whole five seconds before being the one to dissolve in laughter this time around. “Mrs. Pressure must’ve been terrifying.” Chihaya proceeds to stand up and stretch her arms as if she’s detaching herself from the things that worried her. Beaming at Kanade, she declares, “Well, if Taichi’s doing that much and he’s already smart, I may have to start seriously studying for my exams. All right, let’s go home!”

Before leaving their separate ways as they head for their respective train stations, Chihaya asks Kanade for a favor. “Kana-chan, if you’re free this Saturday…can you and Sumire-chan help me make chocolates again?” Kanade’s sure about the reason behind the request, but decides to indulge in the happiness of hearing Chihaya say it. “Of course, Chihaya-chan. Do you want to host another Valentine’s Day picnic at the club?”

Chihaya stammers out, blushing all the while. “T-that’s a nice idea, Kana-chan! But I actually wanted to make some for Taichi—as a congratulations present. For taking the exam. And, um,”—Kanade’s internally squealing at how adorable Chihaya tries to convey herself—“I needed a reason to tell him what you told me to tell him.” Kanade holds Chihaya’s hands, “Everything’s going to be alright, Chihaya-chan.”

In the train on the way home, Kanade recalls the turn of events at the club room. Looking up at the full moon behind the train windows, she thinks of two poems that resonates with them:

Even for a time/Short as a piece of the reeds/In Naniwa’s marsh

We must never meet again:/Is this what you are asking me?

Though I would hide it/In my face it still appears—/My fond, secret love.

And now he questions me:/“Is something bothering you?”

#chihayafuru #taichihaya #ayase chihaya #mashima taichi #taichihaya-day #come talk taichihaya with me!

[zerolover66]

Heyo I noticed you post things related to the series called "Chihayafuru".And,I'm guessing you ship Taichihaya because of your posts.So,my question is,who do you think Chihaya actually loves(or likes)romantically? Chihaya loves karuta so bad that anything else in her life can be ignored easily.But isn't Chihayafuru supposed to be a sports/ROMANCE story? So,yeah.I know it has nothing to do with Zeki but there are not many people who talk about this manga.It's kinda lonely actually... ~_~ Thanks

Hi anon. Technically Chihayafuru is considered a josei manga. I personally would consider it a josei/sports manga. But it is published in Be Love magazine which in turn makes it listed as a josei. With that being said it would explain why the focus is not really on any aspect of the romance. It is really more a coming of age story. Each individual character is growing, learning and changing. They are each reaching to achieve their personal bests. That is why I like this story so much. It could have fallen into the shoujo trope of the love triangle taking center stage but it subverts that completely. It focuses on each character growing and that the friendships made between the characters are very valuable to all of them.

Now personally I don’t think Chihaya has even ventured into the romance department. Her head is totally filled with karuta. She eats, sleeps, and breathes karuta. I do feel that if at any point she begins to have romantic feelings for either Taichi or Arata it would be Taichi who stands the better chance. They had WAY more development than Chihaya and Arata. I thought at some point that the manga would begin to focus on Arata and Chiahaya developing together the way most of the manga had focused on Chihaya and Taichi developing together. But to date that has not happened. So it would be a stretch for me to see her end up with Arata over a childhood, worship kind of crush. I think Chihaya has always associated Arata with karuta and thus because of her love for karuta and her Godlike worship of Arata as a karuta player she has confused those feelings.

I have always thought of Arata as the cornerstone of the story. The driving force behind Taichi’s and Chihaya’s decisions. Compared to the two of them Arata has not been given nearly as much attention or screen time if you will. He was there to be the catalyst for the other two protagonists. 

I don’t believe that the mangaka originally planned on that. But I had read in an interview that she gave that after a while she felt Taichi had earned more development than she had originally planned. And that the characters basically are deciding the direction that the story takes. They have a life of their own. I believe that she listens to her characters very well and the story just starts writing itself. She may have entered into it with one idea but time and character development has caused her to follow a different path. The one that is chosen by the characters themselves. This is the mark of a good writer in my opinion.

But only time will tell which direction the mangaka plans on taking this story. But I do absolutely love it. And yes I ship Taichihaya. Taichi is my boy. I love him to pieces.

Thank you for dropping by :)

#anon ask #chihayafuru #ayase chihaya #karuta

[margarethelstone-2]

Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears | Chapter 1

“They both knew that it wouldn’t last, that, come tomorrow, the so undesired feeling of awkwardness would take over them again, to some degree at least. They would pass each other in the corridors and a nod and a smile would be all they might expect; they’d meet at the train station occasionally but fail to exchange more than a few words.

And yet somehow, it was fine. Because for the first time since Taichi’s confession, they could hope that the distance they had built was not that of resentment and sorrow, but of mutual respect and readiness to wait.

It was an agreement.”

A Taichihaya story set directly after the end of season 3. Based on the anime, not the manga.

Read under the cut and on AO3!

Chapter 1

Suddenly, like an explosion, the words Taichi said to me in our first year came back to me.

"Arata will come back someday for sure. Let's get stronger and wait for his return."

Let's get stronger.

Let's wait.

No matter how long it might take or how hard it might be, let's work, let's fight, let's be patient.

That's what Taichi had said, two years ago, as they’d sat on that train and gone home after their meeting with Arata, which only could have been called disastrous at the time. She'd had trouble believing him at first, so big her disappointment had been – so overwhelming the shock she'd felt when their childhood friend had as much as thrown them away from his house, despite all the effort they had put into coming there in the first place. And yet, she couldn't have disregarded his words completely, not with the sight of Arata riding his bike like a madman on the other side of the road and with the calm certainty echoing in Taichi's own voice.

It was his confidence that had made her regain her faith; his quiet presence and stubborn persistence that had prompted her to believe again, to follow the advice she surely would have disregarded if it had been nothing but words.

In a way, she was convinced that even if Arata hadn't shown up on his bike, or if she hadn't seen him for herself, it would have been enough to hear Taichi's comment to make her keep going.

After all, Taichi was never wrong.

She didn't always understand him – in fact, the last few months had shown her how little she did, how many things there were about him that she still couldn't comprehend, or things she had been too blind to notice. His confession to her a few weeks prior had been a blow, only made more painful by the following distancing that had led him all the way to giving up on karuta and their club.

The club they had built from scratch.

Had he really expected her to stay after that?

Her eyes welled up again, as she stared at the photo Arata had sent her – sent them both, she assumed, since it would have made no sense for him not to send it to Taichi as well. No matter how Arata felt about her, or how all of the sudden her two dearest friends had become rivals in more fields than karuta, the fact remained that Arata and Taichi were still friends to one another.

Or at least, she desperately hoped they still thought of each other in those terms.

More tears came and ran swiftly down her cheeks, the bright screen of her phone doing nothing to make her eyes sting any less, but then again, she could hardly bring herself to care. Vaguely aware of the other students standing around her as well as the glances they were currently giving her, she kept looking at the device, at the bright smiles Arata and his new teammates were giving her. They were so glad, so hopeful, so extremely enthusiastic...

They were everything the Mizusawa team had been in the photo she'd sent after they'd qualified for the nationals for the first time, even though she was pretty sure that she'd been crying of happiness in that one.

He will come back someday for sure.

The words came back to her again, once again proving that Taichi's guess hadn't been an incorrect one... Except this time, it was Arata's voice she was hearing and Taichi's name that was being pronounced. It was naive, foolish, even. For all she knew, Arata wasn't even aware that they had left their precious club and therefore, had no intention of going to Omi Jingu like he expected them to.

And yet... There was something about that message, or maybe about the way he looked in the photo that made her nearly certain that he did know, and that this particular email was not sent out to brag. It was meant to remind them of something – to prompt them to take action, just like their visit in Fukui had prompted him to do it before.

He had come back. And so would Taichi, in due time.

And she would let him, without nagging him or pressuring him, without begging him to come back for her sake. Right now, they both needed time to heal; and time she would grant him.

Right after she talked to him one more time.

She was back on her feet in no time, and running towards the library as if her life depended on it. She burst through the door with a force that was as unfitting to the place as it was characteristic of herself, a perfect reverse of her abnormally quiet behaviour that week. She came over to her desk with no hesitation, no waver in her step, and took the bag she'd left there before leaving right after. She missed the amused look the Empress gave her, as well as the proud twinkle of recognition that sparkled in her eyes.

Three minutes later she was out of the room, out of the school, racing towards the train station that was bound to take her to Taichi's home. She made it just in time, red and sweaty, and barely able to breathe, and yet, feeling more glad with herself than she had in the course of those miserable few weeks.

The satisfaction only made her push harder after she'd left the train – she had travelled that distance thousands of times by now and still, she was sure she had never covered it in such a short span.

She had no doubt that Taichi would have called her an idiot for straining herself so badly.

Smiling against the new lump that rose in her throat, Chihaya wiped away the tears that threatened to fall down from her lashes once more and took a deep breath, hoping that her eyes weren't as red as she was afraid they were. After all, the task she was about to commence was not an easy one; she didn't need her appearance to betray her inner state when she tried so hard to keep it concealed.

Especially as she still couldn't be sure who would answer the door this time.

Bracing herself, she took the final step and rang the bell, while simultaneously summoning all of her strength and will in order not to spin on her heel and run away at this most crucial point. She had been determined before, and that particular thing had not changed; however, the longer she waited on the steps of Taichi's house, the more she wondered why she was being made wait in the first place.

If Taichi was home... if he knew it was her and decided to ignore it...

Well, that would have been enough to discourage the fiercest soul, while at the time, Chihaya couldn't feel anything but the opposite of that.

She was vulnerable and she knew it; and the more time had passed, the more afraid she became of how – and when – her weakness might take over her eventually.

Right when she was about to give in to her anxiety and run away for real, the door opened to reveal none other than Taichi's dauntless mother. The sight made Chihaya's head spin a little, but she pulled herself together quickly, for once feeling that her quest was more important than any of the glares or remarks she may receive in return.

Bowing low before her host, she choked out desperately, "Please forgive me for the interruption. I need to see Taichi. Is he at home?"

She knew it was not a perfect greeting and certainly not judging by Mrs. Pressure's sky-high standards. Still, she could not afford more; every word she pronounced made her come closer to breaking apart again, and the last thing she wanted was to make a spectacle of herself before any of the Mashima family members.

She supposed it was inevitable when she finally stood face to face with Taichi, but that was no reason to let herself crumble before that time.

"Taichi is at the cram school, preparing for his exams." Reiko's cold, impassive answer roused her from her musing. "He'll be going there regularly this year. Has he not told you that?"

"I-" Chihaya stuttered ineloquently, which obviously earned her another stern look from Taichi's mother. She shook her head and straightened up, intent on not bringing even more confusion into this already difficult conversation. "I suspected he might be doing that. I know how serious he is about medical school... But the last few weeks have been a little chaotic for us all, so we didn't get to talk much."

Reiko raised an eyebrow at her.

"Chaotic, you say?"

"Yeah – yes."

"And that's what you need to talk to him about?"

Chihaya felt her heart speed up – the feeling all the more unexpected as at the same time, she could swear her blood had run ice cold in her veins – however, she remained unmoved. Gathering her courage once again, she raised her gaze to look the other woman directly in the eye and replied, "It is. So if... If you could tell me when you expect Taichi to be back home, I will be most grateful."

She waited breathlessly, her whole body itching to flee. Taichi wasn't there; he wouldn't be there for some time, hence, there was literally no point of her staying any second longer than absolutely necessary. She didn't expect his mother to be particularly helpful, either, given the kind of attitude she had always displayed towards her...

...and yet, she stuck around anyway.

As long as Reiko didn't tell her to give it a rest and go home, she would not retreat. As long as there was the tiniest spark of hope to hold onto, she would not back down.

"I don't know that," she heard her answer at last. "He was supposed to return more than an hour ago, however, he called me to say that he would be staying longer. Apparently he has found his tutor to be extremely competent, so he wants to make the most of it before regular school work kicks in too hard. I asked him when he intended to return, but even Taichi couldn't tell me that. I would not expect him for another hour, however, maybe more... So I'm afraid you won't be able to see him at all today."

"I... I see," Chihaya stammered in response, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for telling me. I'll be on my way then. Have a good night, ma'am."

She bowed again and turned around at last, quiet and stunned, her whole posture slumping under that unwelcome new development. She shouldn't have been surprised – shouldn't have been upset. She had assumed that Taichi might not be at home before she'd even reached his household, and the view of his mother opening the door for her had only confirmed her suspicions. The fact that Taichi had decided to stay at the cram school and study longer was hardly astonishing, either – she'd known him long enough to expect nothing less from him.

He could be the most ambitious, most stubborn person she'd come across, if only he chose to be – and, while her own ambitions made her hot-headed and inattentive, her greediness always making her spread herself too thin... Taichi could still remain organised and composed, setting up plans and following them despite the many obstacles that came in his way.

And given how determined he seemed to burn all of his bridges and cut all the ties now...

Focusing on cram school seemed like the most obvious choice.

And yet, as unsurprising as it was, learning that particular bit of information still managed to leave her feeling empty, as if all hope, all expectations she had built up so far had been sucked out of her by the use of one simple statement. Up until the very last moment, Chihaya had hoped that she might still be able to speak to him that day – even if it meant wandering around the place for the next hour, waiting for Taichi to return, even if it meant going to her own home and then coming back after she received the news of him arriving.

Now, it was clear that neither was possible.

Behind her, she could hear the sound of a door closing. She had to bite her lip to stop it from trembling, but refused to show the signs of resignation that were slowly but surely taking over her. She told herself that it wasn't much of a deal; after all, she and Taichi still attended the same school so if she tried hard enough, she should be able to reach him without that much trouble. It would be difficult and awkward, what with all those people around them... But it wasn't impossible.

If they could reach Arata and get him to respond, then approaching Taichi surely had to be possible as well.

She was mere feet away from the pavement when she felt her phone buzz. It was more of a reflex than anything else, but she pulled it out anyway, not even bothering to guess who it was that was messaging her now. It could have been her mum, or Chitose, or maybe one of the karuta club members wanting to learn how she was faring – after all, just because she'd taken a break from the game and left the club didn't mean that they had stopped being her friends. It could have even been Arata, for all she cared, sharing more information about his own brand new team or asking about why she'd decided to leave hers...

Any other time, she would have had a million ideas as to who might have been the sender and responded enthusiastically to each and every one of them.

Right now, however, there was only one person from whom she wanted to hear.

Sadly, he was also the one person who sure as hell wouldn't have contacted her.

Only after turning the corner did she stop to look at the device in her hand, while silently praying that the message would not require her immediate response, and certainly not a lengthy or particularly eloquent one. She stopped short at the sight of an unfamiliar email address and the message that demanded no reply at all.

It was an address.

"But who would..." she whispered, bemused, her eyes once again glued to her phone screen and a message she'd had no reason to expect. Her question lingered in the air, unfinished as she reread the message, once, twice, three times. She knew the name of the street; the name of the institution mentioned also rang a bell, even if she couldn't quite put her finger on it yet. She nearly jumped when the device vibrated again, announcing the arrival of another message, and from the same person no less.

Taichi's cram school isn't far off from here, you should be fine going there on foot. I take it you can find your way there.

Chihaya's eyes were wide as she skimmed that most recent email, now more than ever astonished with what she was reading. Who could have sent her the address of Taichi's school and with a commentary so direct and – in a way – casual? And now, after she had just talked to his mother and was sent on her merry way? Was it Rika, Taichi's little sister, who had overheard the conversation and decided to help her out behind her mother's back? They weren't exactly friends, if anything, Chihaya would have said that Rika's attitude towards her was just as haughty and belittling as that of Reiko... However, if not her, then who?

Surely, it couldn't have been...

"Mrs. Pressure?!" she cried abruptly, and so loudly that the passer-bys on the parallel streets could be seen startling at the noise. As for Chihaya, her brow rose even higher when she'd shifted her gaze back to the enigmatic email address which under closer inspection proved to be that of Mashima Reiko, indeed. The sudden turn of events made her head go dizzy, just like the sight of the aforementioned woman had just a few minutes earlier.

So she doesn't completely hate me... Chihaya thought, a weak but warm smile blossoming on her overly tired face. Or at least, she doesn't think it would be harmful for me to see Taichi now, which on its own is a big thing. Or does she...

Does she realise how unhappy Taichi is right now and thinks I can help with that?

"Or maybe she knows he hates me and wants me to find out for myself," she added under her breath, her lips curving in a grimace. "I can never tell what that woman really thinks."

She shook her head again, however, ashamed of the reaction she'd just displayed, and even dared to voice. Whatever her intentions were, the message Reiko had sent was a huge help, for which Chihaya decided to remain eternally grateful, regardless of how her talk with Taichi went in the end.

Plus, there was something about that email, something she couldn't point out but felt nonetheless, which seemed much more like a blessing than a trap to her.

Maybe she was being a naive airhead again, but that was what she chose to believe.

"Alright, it's time for action then!" she told herself and slapped her cheeks, this time bringing to herself the attention of the fellow human beings walking down the street. Focused on her goal, she remained ignorant to their reactions and continued in the same manner, without a trace of hesitation in her, "If I get this right, Taichi is about twenty minutes on foot away from here. I can make it ten. I will make it eight!"

She broke into a run right then and there, not even bothering to put her phone away, and not because she thought she might need to check the address again. She was already late; she couldn't afford a second more.

She'd already screwed up so badly: when Taichi had confessed his love to her and she couldn't have brought herself to answer him openly; when they still practised together but she was too overwhelmed to respond even to the tiniest of signals; when she'd missed the moment when he'd made up his mind about leaving the karuta club; when she had ran after him when she'd finally learnt that but instead of trying to help and understand him, she'd once again focused on her own selfish needs and begged him not to leave her.

Day after day she'd gone on screwing up even more, unable to find the right words she should speak to him, or maybe simply having been too much of a chicken to approach him with the ones she'd had in mind.

He'd called himself a coward, while the only one deserving of that name was her.

I won't mess up again, she repeated to herself in between her long strides. I won't let my fears take the better of me. I'll get to you, Taichi, I'll find you and talk to you and make sure you hear every single word this time. So wait for me! Don't go home just yet, don't make me miss you again! I will reach you this time!

Her eyes were full of tears again, and not because of the wind and dust that blew in her face. She wiped them hastily, again and again, but it was of little use; and yet, while the dark smudges marked her cheeks, her smile grew wide, once again mirroring the hope that seemed to have left her. The faster she ran, the more tired she was, the greater and more positive the emotions that filled her heart became.

Taichi's words resonated in her mind but they were no longer a threat; somewhere along her feverish race they'd turned into a dare, a challenge she had to rise to. It wasn't going to be easy – she still couldn't give him the reaction he wished for, but she could at least face the truth of his feelings towards her and respond to that truth with a clear, honest answer.

He was her best friend in the entire world. And even if he still needed her to step away for a time, she refused to call it anything but a temporary change.

She was willing to give him space and freedom, if that was what he wanted from her – but she could not imagine a scenario in which she let their friendship end without putting up a fight first.

She wasn't capable of letting him go like this.

She was way too greedy for that.

And she cared for him too much.

"I love you," he had said. "I love the fingernails that you never grow. I love your fingers and your hair, and the mouth you open wide like an idiot. I love your face when you laugh. I love you."

He'd found so many ways to tell her the same, single truth, when he could have easily backed off. Taichi was clever, there was no way that he couldn't grasp her reaction from the very first moments of that stunned, hollow silence that had come over them because she couldn't have uttered a single word on her part. He'd known that she would not respond in kind, that she would not accept him, no matter how long he might have waited for her.

She knew their friendship meant the world to him, too, and so he'd had every reason to retreat and turn the tables again. If he had told her it was a joke – if he'd said that it was just a dumb prank and she was silly to take any of it seriously, she would have believed him.

And yet, he hadn't. In fact, he'd done the opposite, pushing forward until it was all out in the open. Every feeling he'd suppressed, every ounce of affection he'd spent years hiding from her, it was there; even if it hadn't resonated fully in his words, it'd still been reflected in his body, his expression, in the way he'd looked at her. Those big, bright eyes so full of tenderness she'd never been allowed to see, or maybe simply had failed to recognise.

"I love you, I love you, I love you."

He had given himself up, made himself completely and entirely vulnerable. Hers to take, and hers to reject. He had offered her his heart, even though he must have known how slim his chances had been.

She had taken that heart and crushed it, and hadn't even had the guts to tell him why.

She arrived at the cram school, one full minute before her proclaimed eight. She stood there for a while, panting, gasping for air she couldn't take well because she kept choking on her sobs. Her hair was a mess, long locks sticking out in all directions while her face was smeared with the mixture of her tears and the dust that had accumulated on her cheeks when she'd dashed towards her destination, the result only made worse by her constant rubbing when she'd tried to wipe the tears away.

She sure was glad that she wasn't wearing any mascara that day – though on the other hand, she very much doubted that it would have changed much.

Focus, she chided herself, simultaneously reaching up to comb her hair with her fingers and contemplating whether or not she should bind it. I'd say it doesn't matter how I look – I'm not here to make an impression, only to talk to him. But Taichi is perceptive... he will notice that something is wrong. And I don’t want him thinking about me today.

She took a deep breath, then another. She straightened up and squared her shoulders, readying herself in the same way she had before ringing at the Mashima residence earlier on, her left hand still buried in the maze of fair strands, while she rummaged through her bag with her right. Somehow, she managed to find a – moderately – clean towel that she could use to clear up her face. She got to work right after, still unsure of how much time she actually had, yet determined not to waste a second.

She didn't have a mirror to look into and make sure that she was presentable enough. She was Ayase Chihaya, a pretty nitwit who never remembered to carry anything that girls like Chitose (her own sister) or Hanano (her surprisingly supportive friend) would have deemed indispensable in a young girl's bag.

A true beauty in vain who couldn't even make sure that she looked decent enough when it mattered.

She heard a noise coming from in front of her and raised her gaze instinctively. With her eyes fixed on the front door, she pricked up her ears, waiting for another sound to come and carry the information she was so eager to learn. Was it Taichi that had made the first one? Was it because he was close to the door, preparing to leave? Or was the sound a random one, and not an announcement of his departure? What was the chance that it had been him that had made it?

She waited impatiently but no other noise came. She supposed it was to be expected – the one she'd heard before was probably caused by some incident, like someone walking into a trash bin, so definitely not something people did every day. Besides, even if it had been someone readying themselves to leave, what reasons did she have to think it would be Taichi she'd see come out?

It was foolish to expect him right after she'd got there.

Timing like that didn't happen in everyday life.

And yet, as if to refute her scepticism with a miracle that should not have been possible, the door cracked open, and she saw Taichi standing in it. With one hand on the handle and one foot over the threshold, his body was still mostly turned to the inside of the building as he said his goodbyes to whoever was in charge. Posed like this, he obviously couldn't see her; but it was only a matter of seconds before he turned again and crossed the doorstep, and then he would have no choice but to face her.

For what seemed like a hundredth time that day, Chihaya felt her heart slow down so much that it seemed to have stopped beating at all, only to pick up its pace with double force a short moment later.

She wasn't ready to meet him and yet, all she prayed for was that he wouldn't run away from her before she could tell him what she had come to say.

Lost in her pleading, she instinctively closed her eyes and thus missed the very moment she'd been so anxious to come upon. It was right after her eyelids closed and her head lowered in a small bow that Taichi did turn around and saw her – and she was too busy clenching her fists and muttering wishes to witness it.

Too much of a mess to properly greet him.

She didn't see the shock that reflected on his countenance when he recognised her. His widened eyes and raised brow, the slight gap between his parted lips, the way his cheeks flushed against his knowledge and will – it was all lost on her, not because she didn't care but because she cared too much.

They stood like this for a while: he, unable to speak because of his astonishment and she, so determined not to miss her chance that she'd become unaware of the world around her. If Taichi had decided to walk past her, she wouldn't have noticed until he was a good few metres behind her.

She would have missed the chance the Heavens had granted her, and all because she was so afraid of that very thing happening.

And yet, the same Taichi who had done his best to ignore her at school – the same boy she'd expected to flee at the sight of her or at best, to say his 'hello' coolly and leave her behind right after – the same boy still stood at the top of the stairs that led to the building, eyeing her cautiously, unhurriedly, as if it was both the first and the last time he'd been given the chance to look at her like that.

His face showed a full range of emotions, from surprise to confusion, to anger, to eagerness, before he eventually managed to summon his trademark stoicism and successfully hide all of those feelings behind a mask of indifference he'd been forced to wear before her so many times before, for both their sakes.

Lost in her thoughts, Chihaya didn't see any of that.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. The simple question was enough to make her bubble pop and spatter into a thousand million drops, a soft, warm mist that now fell down around her. "Shouldn't you still be at school, studying? Or I don't know, at home?"

Unlike the burning feelings swirling inside her, Taichi's words were cold, icy even. His tone bore no emotion and his face was, yet again, an inscrutable mask, one that she'd come to hate so fiercely, because she now knew how much was hidden underneath.

"Why, Taichi? Why do you do everything alone?"

Why don't you trust us?

Why don't you trust me?

He hadn't trusted her before – how could she expect him to trust her now?

"I couldn't focus in the library," she replied, a little too fervently, just like she always did. "I tried for hours, but I wasn't learning anything."

Taichi turned his head away, huffing. "Nothing new there. But that hardly explains why you are here."

"You weren't at home. Your mum gave me this address."

"And why were you at my home of all places?" he asked again, his aloofness fading away a little in favour of genuine curiosity, although it was clear that he still wanted to keep some of his walls standing. "You haven't been there in ages, it's not like you've had a chance to leave something behind and had to pick it up. And no offence, but hell will freeze over before my mother invites you for a chitchat."

"I wasn't there to see your mum," Chihaya answered him. Her gaze was still locked with his and her chin was raised high, as if she'd wanted to prove that his frigid responses weren't enough to intimidate her... but her voice was quiet and certainly not as firm as she would've liked it to be. Still, she kept going. "I came to see you. And you weren't there."

"But why?" Taichi wouldn't give up. "Why didn't you just look for me at school today? Or, if it was more recent, why not tomorrow? Gosh, Chihaya, you could have called me..."

"Don't you act as if it was so easy to catch you between classes," she replied with annoyance, her usual fire kicking in again. "I barely see you at all. And it's not something I want to talk about on the phone, either."

Silence fell over them again, Chihaya's words still echoing between them. She was looking at Taichi now, and so this time, she could see the change in his features perfectly. The alterations weren't big: a slightly more focused gaze, the most insignificant narrowing of his eyes, the fingers that twitched as if they'd been about to curl into fists but were stopped violently at the very last moment.

Her own vision had never been anywhere near as good as her hearing; she wasn't the most observant person, either. In fact, most of the time, she was downright oblivious...

And yet, she hadn't missed any of his microexpressions this time.

"Stupid," he said eventually, thrusting his hands into the pockets of his trousers and fixing his eyes on the ground before him. "What could you possibly have to say that I need to hear in person?"

And there it was, the susceptibility he'd been trying so hard to conceal but failed to do so in the end, not because he hadn't worked hard enough but because Chihaya's senses made it impossible for her to fall for any pretence on his part. It wasn't just her hearing, or just the fact that she'd known him for years, or even that she was more concentrated now than she had been in the toughest, most demanding of matches – but the combination of all those, additionally supported by her own enhanced sensitivity, that had made it possible for her to see through his defences more clearly than when he had taken them down for her himself.

She did it against his will and against his wishes, and somehow, it worked miraculously.

"You're not a coward!" she exclaimed with as much passion as she could muster, loudly, confidently, despite the tears that were once again gathering in back of her eyes and the tightening of her throat that she couldn't have prevented. "You said you wanted to become someone who isn't one, but that would mean that you are a coward now, and must change to achieve that. And I refuse to believe that!"

She inhaled sharply and blinked in order to keep the annoying, salty drops from falling down too soon. Her golden irises shone with tears and zeal alike; captivated by the vision, Taichi failed to use his only chance to interrupt her speech this time.

"You're not a coward," she repeated, with the same tenacity ringing in her tone. "Even if that's what you think you are, or what you were back then... It doesn't matter anymore. It's all in the past, Taichi, because you have already changed. Without even realising it, you've grown, so much that sometimes I catch myself not recognising you, regardless of how long we've known one another. Just those last two years we spent together prove beyond doubt that you couldn't be further from giving in to your fears and giving up, which is exactly what cowards do. You're ambitious and determined, and you don't let failures get in your way.

"And if you still think this isn't enough," she picked up after another short pause. "If you still need evidence greater than that... Then know that telling me about what happened when we were in sixth grade – telling me about what really happened to Arata's glasses, and after all these years... That is the greatest sign of courage to me."

She didn't say anything else, letting her words reverberate, not expecting to receive an answer to her ardent, most heartfelt speech, but leaving it for Taichi to discern and interpret for himself. She hadn't come here to argue with him, after all. The subject was still too sore for them both and besides, she knew that no discussion could do them any good.

She'd come to meet him to tell him this one specific thing, because something in her had told her that it was important and that Taichi should be allowed to hear it as well. It was the one burden she could lift from his shoulders and therefore, she had to. She knew that, compared to all the misery she'd caused him, it was not even a beginning of repayment... However, she had to do something.

She wasn't going to do more, though. She wasn't wanted here anymore, she wasn't needed. She'd fulfilled her quest and was not eager to cross the boundaries again.

Slowly, attentively, she bowed her head and cast down her eyes, a silent 'goodbye' that was better left unsaid.

Then she turned and walked away towards the gate.

It took all of her strength not to break into a sprint again.

#Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears #chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #reposting because of blog migration duh #also! the cover is new! please enjoy! #this story will be the death of me but i refuse to let go just yet #margaretwrites

[stellacolletore]

save the date, part one

summary: It goes without saying—Taichi and Chihaya’s first date is official Mizusawa Karuta Club business. 

If the girls in her class could see her now, ringing the doorbell of the Ayase household, they would surely call her insane. And for a good reason, too. After all, why would a girl do hair and make up for the date of the guy’s she’s still in love with? 

The door swung open, revealing a disheveled Chihaya. “Sumire-chan!” 

This is why. 

“Oh. I wasn’t informed Mashima-senpai would be going out with a geisha.” 

Chihaya prostrated on the spot. “Help me, Sumire-chan!” 

/// 

“So you actually have normal clothes, Ayase-senpai. I’m surprised.” Sumire notes, surveying the dresses laid out on the bed. 

“Chitose-neesan lent them to me.” Chihaya explained. “She said she’d disown me if I wore Daddy Bear on my—” Chihaya stopped abruptly, cheeks swiftly heating up. “My d - d - date.” She turned to Sumire after recovering her bearings. “But I still don’t understand. Taichi’s seen me wearing Daddy Bear since we were kids, and he’s okay with it.” 

Sumire popped a nerve. “You can't wear that on a date, Senpai. Unless you want to look like his little sister and not his girlfriend." 

Chihaya nodded slowly. "Ah." Smiling gratefully, she said, "You’re really an expert in this, Sumire-chan. Thanks so much for coming over today.” 

“It's no problem.” Sumire replied casually. “Now—let's focus. Do you have any idea where you’ll be going or what you’ll be doing? It’s important to dress according to what will happen on the date.” 

Chihaya beamed. “I know! Taichi let me plan for it.” She retrieved a paper on her study table, handing it to Sumire. 

While the absence of karuta-related activities made Sumire impressed, she found something unusual with the list. "Ayase-senpai...I know you and Mashima-senpai are both athletic. But do you really want to do these on your first date?" Seeing Chihaya's blank stare, Sumire elaborated. "It's just that—I don't think anyone's ever done rock climbing, rollerblading, and eating at an all-you-can-eat restaurant in one." 

Chihaya chuckled uneasily. "That's exactly what I'm hoping for," she muttered. Sumire arched an eyebrow, intrigued. "What do you mean, Senpai?" Chihaya sighed, sinking into the mattress. 

Fiddling with her fingers, she started, "This is all new to me, Sumire-chan. I've never...had a b - boyfriend before. Never gone out on a date. But Taichi—Taichi has, and I'm sure he had so much fun going to the mall and the amusement park with her." Chihaya's eyes went downcast as she whispered, "So I tried to picked places he hadn't gone yet with his girlfriend before." 

Sumire blinked, digesting Chihaya's admission. Was she hearing her right? Was Ayase-senpai honestly expressing jealousy over Mashima-senpai's ex? Shoving the thoughts aside, Sumire settled next to Chihaya on the bed. "Senpai, do you know how many guys would start a karuta club and compete in title matches just to get their crush's attention?" 

Chihaya lifted her head to look at her. Sumire smiled warmly. "I only know one, and turns out, he'll finally go on a date with said crush after waiting for so long." Sumire placed the paper in Chihaya's hands. "There's still some time to change your plans. But if you really want to take on that all-you-can-eat buffet, then—" 

Sumire suddenly found herself enveloped in a hug. Chihaya's voice was brimming with sincerity. "I'm really happy you're here, Sumire-chan." 

Sumire drew back, eyes rapidly moistening. "I know, I know—no, don't start crying, Senpai! You'll get panda eyes!" 

 from: Hanano Sumire 

to: Ooe Kanade 

hair and make up's done! 

[open image]

#chihayafuru #ayase chihaya #hanano sumire #mashima taichi #taichihaya #come talk taichihaya with me!