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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

We Were Like - Fraser x Reader (Black Sea)

Prequal to: Quit Breaking Up With Me / Keep The Girl / Makin’ Waves / Hurry Baby But also readable alone! 😁

GIF Credit: X

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

Author’s Note: So I scrapped my original first idea for Fraser, and then this song inspired about 20 different fics. This wasn’t one of them, but it fit the idea so well that it landed here!

Point is, this wasn’t the Fraser fic I was going to give you, but it’s the one you’ve ended up with! 😅

We Were Like - Kelsea Ballerini Such a bop!!!

Disclaimer: Black Sea + Characters not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: The only reason you have this job is to make the most of your summer on the island. But when your diving partner is replaced with an ex-Navy professional, you start to think maybe you can add a bit of romance...

Words: 9227

Warnings: Swearing / Sexual banter / Oh I guess there is sexual content/connotations too. / a bucket load of yearning

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Two sets of lips on a Pepsi-Cola In the middle of the summertime heat you kept it cool We were west coast kids ridin' 'round in your Chevy Nova Said you'd come back for me when you had to leave to go back to school Bare feet and blue eyes on the boardwalk We were counting the stars and the days 'til you had to go Since then nobody ever made my heart stop Like you did when we lived in that summer glow 'Cause we were like fire Summer breeze, seventies, all-nighter Let the beach be the background choir Singing like oh-oh-oh-oh-oh We were like a movie Said I looked too good in that two-piece And for those three months you knew me Remember those, remember those nights? We were like Yeah, we were like Slow dance, romance, sundress, sunshine Your name, cool rain, so good 'til goodbye We were like Slow dance, romance, sundress, sunshine Your name, cool rain, so good 'til goodbye, yeah Tan skin, golden, tattoo, your smile The end, pretend forever for a while

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The fan blades spun lazily overhead, keeping the interior cabin cool on the beach front. It was a little too vibrant green, pops of colour all over the place: but this diving school was also a tourist attraction so, that made sense. Fraser gazed around the room, trying to take it all in at the same time as listening to his new employer, a heavily tanned early-twenties handsome man with overly white teeth. The kind of person that would attract tourists to the cabin. Fraser guessed that a lot of the workers here would be exactly the same. He had a native accent; this wasn’t a summer job to him – he’d be here time and again – probably had something else back home for winter… “…I mean, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you half this stuff. Your CV says it all man, it’s a pleasure to have you aboard.” “Thanks.” Fraser meant it, even if he sounded a little blunt. He supposed he was probably the most experienced diver here. This wouldn’t be his preferred choice of employment; he’d much rather be getting his hands dirty on a submarine mission somewhere – but he needed the money, and this was the only thing currently going. The twenty-something flashed him a grin, and was about to say something else when a voice cut over him. “MAC! Do you have the keys for boat 4?!” “Hang on a sec…” Mackenzie, Mac for short, leant back to call to the voice, “Sure! Back here, why what’s up!?” She wandered in, and as predicted had the same young, good-looking draw that Mac did. Only she didn’t have the same accent. “Some of the tanks are running low, not dangerously, but it’ll be just my luck that I get some idiot who can’t breathe properly… I was gonna top them all up again.” “Good shout. Uhmmm…” Mac rummaged around below the counter and held them out for her, “Here you are!” “Thanks!” She was about to turn away, but Fraser was too intrigued not to call out to her; “You’re British!” She turned to him, “Yeah.” Although she raised an eyebrow. “Where you from?” “London. Why?” “Ah, yeah I guess that’s pretty far from me.” She laughed instantly, “You’re Australian.” “Right – but the Royal Navy needed some diving expertise that I had, so, I was doing that for a while and I haven’t left yet.” “Royal Navy? Shit, no way.” She grinned, “My dad was a Navy officer for a long time.” “Well you two are gonna get on like a house on fire I can already tell.” She paused at Mac’s comment and swivelled to him; “Oh! He’s Siany’s replacement?!” “Yeah-!” “He’s a Navy diver-! Where did you-!?” She turned to Fraser again, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry – you’re probably gonna be my new partner. Sweet, can I brag I get the Navy diver now?” Mac held his hands up, “Knock yourself out.” This time she held her hand out to him, “I’m Y/N!” “Fraser.” He shook it firmly, “Looking forward to working with ya!”

*** It was weird at first, Fraser had come from a background not unlike yours. Your dad was also a diver – retired now, but he had been the one to teach you. Navy service wasn’t your optimal career, and at your age you were weighing up education with employment prospects. Sian had a very different way of running things to him. But Fraser was your senior diving partner now, not her, and while you could take boats out alone and sometimes did if you were busy, Mac liked you going out in pairs. It took you a while to get used to the way he was, you could spend all day diving with him on the boat and he would be the sweetest man, kind and helpful – he liked sharing anecdotes with you from his Navy experiences, and his love of the UK, all the reasons why he was still there, but also in quieter moments teaching you other diving techniques and tips that you’d never heard from anyone else. Fraser was so expert that you couldn’t believe he was here, even when your question was simply answered with a shrug and ‘I needed the money’. It didn’t make sense – why wasn’t everyone killing to sign him up? You were out here for a long hot summer and took this to make money, in order to make the most of it. He was here because, according to him, he had no other choice. He was a fair few years older than the oldest in your group – and when he wasn’t diving with you, Fraser spent a lot of time alone. He didn’t like hanging around with you all, and he was pretty blunt with his ‘no’ whenever one of you extended an invitation. You didn’t get it, he was so talkative out on the water - why wouldn’t he want to continue that relationship back on land? Eventually you got the grasp of Fraser was only ever at home in or over the water; on the rare occasions that you did all have to hang out together, or Mac put him front of house he was a lot more awkward, uncommunicative, cagey. You didn’t want to call him prickly but he had that kind of attitude. He certainly tried to get out of this as often as possible, and as Mac began to notice too, the less Fraser had to. That definitely made him a lot happier. The two of you certainly got close. Really close. And because he talked to you more than anyone else, and was older, the others took to teasing you about him. Constantly. At first you pushed them all off – because they were wrong. You didn’t have any interest in him, he was just a nice guy and you enjoyed working with him. Until what they were saying started to have some semblance of truth. The more you hung out with him, the more you started to understand him, the more you began to harbour a crush on him. At first you weren’t sure that it wasn’t just a respect crush, an ‘in awe of him’ crush. But it slowly dawned at you that it wasn’t… No, these were real feelings. Feelings you didn’t need to act on right away; after all, you both had time out here. But when you realised how genuine they were you began to heat up every time those pretty blue eyes flicked to you, with that gentle smile as Fraser imparted on you another tip – or told you some ridiculous diving joke. Occasionally he’d tease you too, and that was always a little harder to counter just because of the way he did it. Sometimes completely deadpan. This afternoon you were filling your boats air tanks again – he’d figured out a more efficient method in the Navy that he was trying to get you to perfect. You didn’t mind him teaching you things, and it meant you got to spend a little more time with him at the end of the day. So as your quiet chat continued, with you observing him and trying to store his methods in your head to the letter, you could see your group building up on the dock, everyone else was already packed away for the evening and dressed. Suddenly their chatter, and their eyes flicking back to you constantly became giggles, that erupted into laugher. “Hey! Y/N, C’mon! We’re going for dinner downtown!” Fraser paused what he was doing, looking between you and them for a second, but you hesitated “Y/N! We get the draw of an older man for you!” there was a suggestive look on James’ face, “But let’s go!” Your face went red, and that had them laughing again. Fraser sighed, rolling his eyes, “Are they botherin’ you?” “N-No… No… It’s, okay.” “You can go, if you want. I can show you this another time.” “No, Fraser – I-” “Go on…” He nudged you, “Don’t make me force you.” You swallowed, calling to them, “Okay! I’ll be a minute!” and turned back to him, “You don’t want to come?” “Nah. Go on. I’ll be alright.” “Thanks, Fraser.” You squeezed his arm affectionately and hopped out of the boat, “See you tomorrow morning!” “Uh huh!” That twang of his Australian accent, another thing you were certain you were tripping and falling in love over, followed you down the dock, “Bright and early!” *** Bright and early it was, it always was. If no one else was around you spent time cleaning up and refuelling the boats, making notes of supplies that needed restocking or things that needed mending. Mac would rock up early-ish and open up the shack, usually he’d bring breakfast if you hadn’t had yours already. Fraser would always forego this and say he’d eaten, leaving you and Mac in the office alone – at least until everyone else arrived to steal what was left: “You know he’s friendly and all, but you’re the only one Fraser really interacts with beyond the bare minimum.” “Really?” “As if you didn’t notice.” “Maybe you should start swapping him around in teams, you get to know him best out there.” Mac shook his head vigorously, “I am in NO way going to mess up your dynamic…” You both watched him for a second, before you raised your eyebrow at Mac, “You seem to think it’s a romantic dynamic.” “Oh come ON. You don’t see the way you look at him.” “Shut up!” You felt yourself blush again. “You have a crush, honey. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows it to. If he doesn’t then he’s dense!” “He doesn’t seem that type of guy. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as he’s on land...” “He’s a different person?” “Yeah?” You looked to Mac, expecting him to afford him an explanation. “A lot of guys like him are. He fits the ex-Navy profile. I won’t be surprised if there’s some PTSD in there.” “MAC!” “Look he’s a good diver, but I want you to be careful. Especially if you do have romantic interest in him, okay?” “Mac he’s gotta be at least 10 years older than me.” “Why is that stopping you?! You have what, 3 months with this guy before we pack up for winter, and there’s a chance you can stay together if you’re both UK bound. Just sayin’ – make the most of a summer romance, just be careful!” “I hate you, you know.” You leant across the counter and hugged him, before punching his arm and hopping off the stool. “Oh, I’m well aware!” Before you exited the room, he called you back, “Oh! Y/N!” “Mhm?” “See if you can persuade him out with everyone, please? You know, just once. Or twice. Once a week isn’t a big ask. I just… I think if anyone can integrate him, you can.” “I’ll try my best!” You giggled, “But I’m not a miracle worker!” “Hey!” He grinned, “All I ever ask from anyone is their best!" Your day of diving was pretty easy: Fraser enjoyed getting the more skilled divers so he could take you out deeper into the ocean, dive for a little longer and get a little more technical. However, he didn’t appreciate it when they started messing around and pretending they knew better than he did. They got one hell of a stern telling off and a lecture about the Navy that honestly you couldn’t help but smirk through. Then they were on their best behaviour. More than a few times he’d received a few complaints about it – and seemed not to give a damn when Mac always approached with an “Urm, Fraser, could I have a minute…” Only for you to fiercely back up his story without any hesitation. Mac always looked at you like it was more than a little ironic; you were always one to mess around. But you had real certificates – you were an instructor – you could get yourself out of trouble you got into. And you wouldn’t be putting a whole group of divers in danger doing so. Today you were sitting on the side of the boat as he navigated it out to his chosen diving spot – you wondered what Fraser liked so much about this one. He was prepared to answer. “It’s a little deeper, that might not sound so great, but there’s more space. Less to get distracted by… Just reminds me of what I’m more used to.” “…Which is?” “Diving, diving. Weighted seabed stuff. Technical ship and submarine dives, marine salvage. Things like that. I have nearly every diving certification it’s possible to get.” He gave a shrug, “When I started back in Australia it was a little like this. Reef diving and snorkelling… But that’s not where I ended up.” “When I think diving, I certainly think… this. I’ve done weighted diving a few times, I never found it easy.” “You’ll get used to it.” His smile was small, “It’s a little more of a job than a vacation.” “Then…” You rose and crossed to him, “why are you all the way out here taking amateurs on reef trips?” “A means to an end. Needing the money. Waiting for a job to come up again. Then I’ll go real diving.” “This is real diving.” He looked across to you, grinning, “Naw, now I’d think with a Navy dad – even you wouldn’t think that!” You laughed, “What, do I have to hold you to marine salvage diving now?” “Ah, I think you’d like-!” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah, girl like you could probably handle all those sailors with no problem.” “Was that a compliment?” He chuckled, “Round about.” then tossed his head back, “Go on, you better go make sure they’re suited up! We’re almost there.” “I will.” You smiled, then paused at the door to take him all in again, “...Fraser.” “Uh huh.” “Before we leave… will you take me out? Just you and I?” Your heart fluttered but you pushed it back. Yes, you just wanted him to yourself. You wouldn’t deny it, but you weren’t about to ask him out. “Will you listen to a word I say?” “I’ll try my best.” You gave him your biggest eyes, and he scoffed. “Yeah right. But sure, it’d be fun. I won’t deny that.” “F-Fun?” This time he turned those blue eyes on you in such a way that you thought your heart might dead on stop. “Yeah. You’re a cool girl, Y/N. And I trust you in the water. I’ll show ya a thing or two!” You couldn’t help but internally groan at that, and left quickly so not as to heat up in his presence. Sure, he might. But you wondered if it would be the thing or two that you wanted him to show you. *** He still wouldn’t come out with you all, you tried your best – and be it tentatively, sweetly, teasingly or just angrily, Fraser never agreed to going. You didn’t want to tell Mac to just give up but sometimes you thought about it. Tonight, after you’d eaten you wanted to take a night out on the town for yourself, and swung by your favourite little restaurant bar. The tables spilled out over the boardwalk and the dancefloor straddled both outside and inside, even though it was small. So if you wanted you could dance in the open air. You just liked to dance without the rest of your friends around, and usually liked to dance alone.

You headed to the bar first, and worked up the confidence to get on the floor with your single drink. You nursed it for a little while, but eventually swaying on the bar stool had you up on the floor. It was easy for you to make friends – and sometimes you found girls here who had been on boats during the week, so you weren’t ever really alone. It got later and night really drew in, lamps on the boardwalk igniting and bathing everything in a soft yellow glow. The pretty hanging lights in bars were turned on up and down the street, and it was about your favourite time of night. Yet that wasn’t where your eyes were pulled tonight – instead your eyes were drawn to the bar. Holy shit-! Your heart threatened to get the better of you, although his back was to you and he was keeping to himself, it was unmistakably Fraser sitting up there. You had to let yourself calm down before you gained enough confidence to make your way over – but you couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he spent all his evenings. Was this why he didn’t want to be out with the rest of you? “Hey!” He looked up from his drink – make that drinks; Fraser’s bottle of beer was accompanied by what appeared to be water, and then soda. “How long have you been here?!” Was how he chose to make conversation, no how are you, no sweet smile. The man you spent most of your time with during the day appeared long gone. “Longer than you, I’ve been dancing!” “Oh. I didn’t notice.” You had to pretend that didn’t hurt at all as you settled in next to him, “Is this usual for you?” “No, I just… needed a night out. I’m not a great drinker.” “You’re Australian!” His laugh wasn’t warm, “Yeah, alcohol tends to mess with-” Fraser stopped short and turned back to you, “You out alone?!” He was concerned, instantly. “Yeah…” “You do THAT often!?” “I like the breather. So, yes.” His face pulled into a frown but he said nothing more, turning back to his array of drinks, it was the water he finished first. You were still staring at him; there was something about him not in sunlight. You’d only ever seen him in bright sunshine, but now the shadows were giving you an altogether different picture – his eyes were a deeper blue than usual, and the darkness cut his body distinctively; he looked a lot older than you thought he was. There was a lot of trouble etched into him and the way that he slumped his body over the bar like that; a lot you guessed Fraser would never open up to you about in a million years. And he didn’t look back at you. “Fraser.” When he did turn, he seemed more surprised that you’d still be there. “Dance with me.” “Wh-” You stood and took his hand, hardly believing that you had the confidence. “Please!” “No.” He pulled his hand back, “No, no. That’s not my scene.” “Oh c’mon.” “No. I can’t dance.” “Everyone can dance, even if it’s badly.” “No!” His hands withdrew and he realised that he was not letting you down lightly. In fact you damn near looked upset. Fraser sighed, beer to his lips as you still didn’t move, looking back to the dance floor again. This time when your eyes met his they were doing all your pleading for you. “Please, just one dance?” He put his bottle down and stood, already thinking of all the ways this would go wrong: “Okay, but I mean ONE.” You could not be more ecstatic about this, holding his hand as you pulled him across the floor, although as you slowed to choose a place, Fraser guided you to the outer area, the very edge of the dance floor. You found this to be curious, but didn’t question it. All that mattered was he was here, and he was doing you a favour, you wanted to make sure he was comfortable. Fraser placed his hands on your waist respectfully as you rested your own on his shoulders – it was obvious by how firm his grip was that he was not about to move them, not even an inch. You were a little disappointed – but one step at a time. You could hardly believe that he was here and holding you. Your heart was racing again; he was so close. You didn’t want to call it too close, but Fraser was: he kept the gap, he wouldn’t let you closer even though all you wanted to do was breathe him. Even though what you desired was him holding your body against his. But he had rhythm, and he matched yours. You weren’t sure you expected it – but then he was close to you, and he watched your body day in day out. He knew the way you breathed, probably even here and now Fraser was noticing things about you that you didn’t know yourself. Of course he could dance with you, just like you’d asked, and maybe for one song. But then he didn’t let you go when it was over… Maybe that was because you were locked in a stare like this, your constant wish to pull him closer, the way you knew how hot you were getting under the weight of his eyes; because of how nervous you were, the proximity of his body to yours. You couldn’t stop your eyes from flicking to his lips; you wanted to lean forward and kiss him. More than anything. You couldn’t, you couldn’t risk everything on trying to kiss him here. The rest of your summer would be so awkward that you’d have rather hurled yourself off the side of the boat than risk this… Fraser knew how you felt. It was damn near impossible to ignore when you were this near to him. The way you hung onto every word he said during the day and were damn near besotted with him didn’t escape his notice either. How everyone else teased you for it; yeah, he realised that too, none of you were as subtle as you thought you were. But you were young and impressionable and you just had a crush. A crush that would last the duration of summer, and when you went home and decided on further education or working, he’d be forgotten, and you’d find someone else. He didn’t want to hurt you, Fraser knew that much – it was one of the reasons that he wasn’t going to let you closer. He wasn’t sure he could do something in such measures – something he knew would only ever be a summer fling? It never occurred to Fraser to want to put effort into something like that. You weren’t the only one that was going to get hurt.

Fraser kept his eyes on those around you as the dancefloor became more crowded. Telling himself he was only pulling you closer because he had to. It wasn’t far from the truth, this time he wasn’t really meeting your eyes; and his hands kept in that same position. He’d placed you outside to avoid the majority of people, more space. More air. But as people encroached on you, Fraser tensed more and more, until you knew it was uncomfortable for him. It broke you from your trance; where you could breathe him, close enough to feel the heat from his body as it dissipated from the day. A warmth you wanted to be held in. It was too much, it was too close, and Fraser’s dislike of the situation had him pulling abruptly from you. You weren’t sure you understood even when you felt that change in him. “Y/N, I’m sorry but I-” He shook his head, “S-Sorry.” He didn’t even let you say it was okay before he was off and back to the bar. You sighed gently, moment over. Maybe the only moment you’d get with him all summer. And you hadn’t even remembered to savour it.

***

You’d had your first taste, and you couldn’t help but crave more. So you kept going back; you couldn’t be sure if it was Fraser’s favourite spot, if this was where he spent his evenings. It had been once; and maybe he wasn’t around tonight… the night after… the night after that… because he was busy elsewhere. You kept holding onto the thought that he’d turn up eventually – it wasn’t something you wanted to discuss at work. In fact Fraser’s attitude to you at work didn’t change, almost as if it had never happened. Yet you didn’t understand how he could just act that way – it’d affected you, clearly. Why not him? You didn’t want to confront him about it, in fact it forced you to face the fact that maybe friends was all this was ever going to be… Even over a three month ‘summer fling’ you’d be nothing more than one close dance at one small bar. Fraser did eventually turn up again, but by the time he did you were already a little preoccupied. It was a little later than he’d been in here before and he ordered the same from the bar before sitting. You’d already been here a few hours – but had already been to a bar with the rest of the crew. And you were now drinking on top of ‘pre’-drinking. Stupid, you knew, but it was okay to get drunk every once in a while. As long as it wasn’t totally black out. It took Fraser a little while to spot you and, once he did, he became immediately concerned – it was obvious that you were a little too far gone. You shifted around without any real sense of rhythm, your face was flushed, you were laughing a little to loud and a little too much. What really struck Fraser were the men around you. All a little too close, the one nearest you giving off the most obvious vibes that Fraser didn’t like. Although you were laughing, it was clear that whatever question he was asking (Fraser could only guess), was being met with refusal. But once wasn’t enough, it had been at least three or four times and this guy only seemed to get closer, his friends joining in, with him continuously taking your hand back. This was only going to go two ways and neither ended well for you in Fraser’s eyes; he tipped his glass back, thanked the bar tender and rose from his seat. “You guys want to leave her alone now?” “What?” He turned, looking Fraser up and down with a raised eyebrow, “What’d you say?” “I said leave her alone. I’ve been watchin’ you from over there and she’s said no at least four times. Just walk away man.” “This is none of your business.” Getting up in Fraser’s face wasn’t a good idea, but he didn’t know that yet. “F-Fraser!” Your voice sounded more than overjoyed as you spotted him, “You’re back!” “Oh, I think you’ll find it is my business.” Fraser was unfazed, he’d dealt with people like this plenty of times, “She’s drunk, walk away.” “Make me.” “I’d rather not.” He tipped his head, “Walk. Away.” “Who are you, her boyfriend?!” “Concerned work college, actually.” Fraser extended his hand out for yours, “Y/N, sweetheart, let’s go. C’mon.” The man stepped between you as you lurched forward, “She’s not going anywhere.” “Kid. I was in the British Royal Navy, you really wanna mess with that?!” He hesitated, and backed up a little, “Yeah I thought so.” Fraser pushed passed him and took your hand, “Come on. Let’s go.” “But, I-” “Honey, you can barely walk and I need to leave before this asshole says another word, c’mon.” “Fraser, I…” You stumbled as Fraser tried to pull you with him, leaving him fixing the men with an icy stare. “Leave. Before I have a chance to show you what I’m really capable of.” It was enough, for now. But Fraser knew they’d be back, looping his arm around you. “Okay, come on… We’re getting you out of here.”

It was not easy to walk you home – and Fraser didn’t know where you resided. He knew the group of you shared rooms somewhere on the island, but he’d never been interested enough to find out where. Right now he was regretting it. He wasn’t sure how many you’d had, but by now you were all giggles and slurred words, hardly able to walk properly without him supporting you. A mess. He wasn’t the biggest fan of taking you back to his, although Fraser at least knew he could look after you here. You started asking random questions about everything – only to repeat them seconds later, still joyful. Fraser tried to answer them calmly and different every time, so as not to be driven stir crazy by his own explanation. But very soon your joy turned to puzzlement, and then you frowned a little, hands to your stomach. Fraser knew this one well too; “Are you gonna be sick?” You just nodded and he grabbed your hand, running you to the bathroom. Well, this wasn’t the way either of you thought you’d be spending your evening or time together. Pretty soon you were crying and apologising as Fraser held your hair off your face and rubbed your back. “Shit, I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” “I’m just glad you’re here and not with some dick somewhere else… Now don’t talk.” Still, you kept repeating it as he sat with you. As you quietened down, he brought you a glass of water: “Drink it, you’ll just get dehydrated.” Whether or not you would keep it down was another question entirely, but Fraser needed to make sure he was helping you. It was in one of these moments of quiet, where you just looked in pain, that you turned to him. You were a little less pale and sweaty now – maybe you were calming down. He hoped so, but knew if it was necessary, he’d stay up with you all night. “What did you mean…?” “Huh?” “When you threatened him you said… he wouldn’t want to mess with a Navy man?” “Would you like to mess with someone who has had military training?” “Prob’ly not.” You shook your head, closing your eyes as you felt dizzy again. You just wanted everything to stop spinning and for your stomach to calm down. Fraser couldn’t tell you the real reason, couldn’t tell you what he was really capable of. The potential that had to destroy things very quickly if you didn’t understand wasn’t worth the effort of explaining. “Hey…” He rubbed your back in soothing circles once more, “You’re gonna stay, okay? I’ll get set up on the sofa, it’s no big deal – you’re gonna be alright here while I sort you out, yeah?” You nodded, and then very nearly gasped as he leant forward and pressed his lips to your forehead, “Alright, sweetheart, give me a few minutes. Yell if you need me.” You didn’t, and took to lying in the most comfortable position you could find on the cool bathroom floor. He stopped by once to throw you a shirt and tracks. Which you could just about wriggle into without causing yourself too much more discomfort. Fraser collected you from the floor a little later, opting to let you walk on your own rather than carrying you. You’d still be tender, and who knows what would happen if he folded your body in a certain way. There were at least 3 glasses of water on the side table as he helped you into bed – and some hangover medication. “It’s not really something I take a lot of, but I hope this one helps…” “It’s better than nothing, whatever it is.” He laughed gently, tucking your hair back. He’d left a bucket, just in case. “Bathroom is just down there though, I’m gonna be right outside on the couch. If you need me or anything else… Well, okay, maybe don’t wake me unless you really have to. But I think you might be down for the count for a while. Just… keep calm, settle down. Get some rest alright?” You nodded, suddenly completely embarrassed, “Thank you…” you covered your face, “I’m sorry.” “Stop apologising. You think I don’t know what a bad night out feels or looks like? It happens, Y/N.” Fraser smiled, “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.” “See you in the morning Fraser… goodnight.” You didn’t hear him exit the room and close the door though – by the time he did that, your body had already put you to sleep through exhaustion. **

When you woke up in the morning it was slowly. Your head was still pounding, but your stomach seemed to be settled. You were huddled up in his duvet, hiding from the world; you took the pill and drank as many of the glasses of water as you could manage. Luckily you hadn’t been ill again, but you were glowing with embarrassment. You must have screwed any chance that you had with him completely. How couldn’t you have? Why had you done something so stupid?! How had you allowed yourself to get so inebriated that Fraser had to see you like that-!! The bedroom door was cracked and your dress was now hung up on the wardrobe. Fantastic; you’d have to do a walk of shame, and you hadn’t even had sex with him. Eventually the pill seemed to kick in, and you sat up slowly. His apartment seemed quiet, you heard Fraser shuffling around but you were enjoying the lack of noise. If you were back with the gang there’d be yelling and screaming already - especially if one of you was hungover. You slowly sipped another glass of water as you stood, shrugging yourself out of his shirt and track shorts you sighed gently. Wearing his clothes too!? Living the dream in the worst way possible…! You pulled on your dress, smoothing it down to look as modest as possible – it wasn’t so revealing, but it was relatively short and strappy. The kind of thing to be worn over a bikini, rather than the way you’d been wearing it. Eventually you thought you’d hidden in here long enough, and took a deep breath, opening the door on his main living area. It was surprisingly clean; you weren’t sure what you were expecting – but you’d lived with men before and they weren’t this neat. That’ll be the Navy… You scanned the room, worn but still nice. Probably in need of a repaint and new furniture in the not too distant future. But good for the busy summer job worker that currently inhabited it. Fraser was sitting up to the kitchen counter, preoccupied with whatever was in front of him. You walked slowly, making sure to balance the glasses, and were immediately curious. You paused before you reached the counter, and were a little taken aback. Sitting in front of him were a multitude of pills of different sizes and varieties. You did the math quick and none of them were in the same quantity. Before he settled on his choices and cleared the rest away into a capped bottle. Fraser didn’t look up until you placed the glasses down, looking bewildered. He picked one of his pills up and swallowed slowly with water. “They’re not drugs.” He could read your look, and that was the first thing you were worried about. “…Then wh-” “I have a personality disorder. They’re my medication.” He said it so matter-of-fact. So blunt. “It’s why I can’t drink a lot, it’s why I can only be around you guys for so long.” Your face changed dramatically and you dropped your head, upset in realisation; “They wear off.” “Exactly. Smart girl.” He repeated the same slow swallow with the remaining collection. “I’ve always been better in water, always. But what I’d do without them… Y’know I need this. Alone is gonna stop me from doing anything stupid. I’m sorry, I should have said something.” “No… It’s personal. You shouldn’t have to disclose something like that…” “You’re my partner out there, of course I should have. An’ now you know.” “I do. But it’s staying between us.” You placed your hand over his, reassuringly, “And I’m the one that’s sorry, I can’t believe you had to see that. I’m an idiot.” “Y/N, I’ve seen people out of their mind drunk before. You’re not the first, you won’t be the last. Forget about it – I’m just glad I was there.” Fraser understood reckless young adult behaviour, hell, he’d been there a few times himself. “Oh…” Your face heated up again, “Well, I… I’m glad you were there to.” He stood, “Breakfast?” “Oh. Please, yeah.” “I’ve had mine, need it for the meds, but… help yourself…” He pointed to several cupboards, “Plates and bowls, mugs and glasses, cereals, cutlery is there, bread there… fridge is…” He waved, “You get it.” “Thank you.” You smiled politely, and walked from place to place as he’d indicated, making your own breakfast. He was reading the paper this morning; it always just gave him something to do. But you were a much more pleasant distraction. And that dress was easy on the eye. Fraser tipped his head, eyes tracing your body through your clothing; it was very nearly backless too, and your sun kissed shoulders and back held a radiant glow in the morning light that was not visible in the darkness, nor club lighting. He’d never seen this much of you before, and he couldn’t help but watch you – you were beautiful. Fraser wasn’t about to deny that, he was just very aware that you had a massive crush. And he wasn’t sure initiating anything with you was a good idea. Whether he wanted to or not. It’s a summer thing, she’ll get over me. It won’t be too hard for someone like her. Besides, Fraser was as worried about if he’d ever get over you. You noticed him watching you, the ways that his eyes always seemed to trace you. It was subtle – and you weren’t trying to read it as what you hoped it was. His blue eyes had this wildness to them, you’d noticed it the other night. That certainly wasn’t subtle, and clearly very subdued by the medication he had to take; you’d never seen him look like this in light like this. It made you swallow hard, left a knot in your stomach that wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t often you’d felt that. You’d been attracted to men before, teenage crushes. Either they were way too old for you, or they were your age and it was teenage love – you’d never taken that ‘sleeping with someone’ leap. Out here on a tropical island alone, you had the opportunity to explore things, but hadn’t yet. Here he was, sitting in front of you and staring at your body… Yet he’d pushed you away on the dancefloor, and you still had to spend time working with him. When Fraser’s eyes met yours again you swore you felt a shiver run through you. You stepped back; heat suddenly rushing places that did make you feel uncomfortable. You body was about to betray you and you were afraid of being unable to control it. “I- I best get going… T-Thank you, for… looking after me and for breakfast. But the guys, they’ll be so worried.” “I get it…” He stood, rounding the table, “I can walk you back to the main strip, you can figure it out from there and-” “No! No!” You ran around his apartment quickly, collecting your bag and shoes, “I’ll be fine, thank you Fraser. I really mean it-” He stopped you before you got to the door. “You’re sure you’re okay?” “Yes!” NO! Definitely NOT! “Okay.” He opened his door for you, “Take care of yourself. And I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right?” “Right.” You nodded to him, voice super quiet, timid and embarrassed about the situation once again. You gave a gentle wave. “Goodbye, Fraser. Have a good day!” “You too, Y/N…” He leant on the door, unsure if he should ask you to stay. Knowing it was better to let you leave, “Be careful.” *** You weren’t about to curse your good luck. You certainly weren’t about to take credit for it, either, but ever since that night, Fraser had started hanging with you a little. Suddenly he’d turn up for breakfast, and even if he took it and ate alone – he’d make sure to spend five minutes conversing with you. He’d never stayed late enough for drinks, but every once in a while, you’d been able to convince him to join you all for dinner. Progress. Great progress. For him too. And although a lot of times he was on the edge of the conversation, the end of the table for quick escapes, Fraser was always next to you. His focus started with you, and branched to the rest of the team and group conversations slowly. But it was still there. When you didn’t need to pay full attention to him to keep him in the conversation, to make sure he was okay, you started to notice other little things about him. Fraser stimmed. First you noticed the way he’d bounce his leg, hand moving over it in sporadic intervals, then how he’d touch the tips of his fingers, back and forth. There was one other place you noticed it, but until you’d witnessed him do this, it hadn’t really occurred to you. Part of his diving toolkit was a knife, it wasn’t big and you’d hardly call it dangerous, Mac wouldn’t have allowed it otherwise (and it seemed clear that Fraser was used to handling something a little shaper), but he’d move this between his hands and thumb the edge of the blade when talking sometimes. It didn’t seem to bother him, and it didn’t bother you, it wasn’t something you perceived as threatening, but you noticed that sometimes guests would get a little uneasy about it. Social situations were clearly never going to be his forte and yet here he was. He was trying. For you? You weren’t so sure, and yet you were almost certain it was to protect you. To make sure you never got in a situation like that again and he wasn’t around to save you. So it was because of you, and in the back of your head, you dared dream that perhaps you’d get your summer romance after all.

This morning once again Fraser stood around for a gentle 5 minute ‘start of the day’ conversation and then went off to eat alone. Sometimes you wanted to go with him, but you felt the others might see you as antisocial. Or you’d end up with more than just Mac giving you the suggestive looks. Speaking of ‘suggestive’, this morning the topic of discussion quickly turned spicy. You virtually tuned out: it wasn’t like you had experience to give input. And half of you thought most of them were bragging about things that had never really happened, or stretching the truth! But, it couldn’t be avoided, eventually they rounded on you: “-Go on, Y/N, what’s your favourite position?” “You’re kidding, Y/N hasn’t had enough boyfriends to know what her favourite position is!” You flushed, “Shut up!!” then cleared your throat, “As long as I can see his face, I think I’m okay…” “Aw, nah, see – I just like tangling my fingers in her hair – especially if I can pull it.” “In your dreams would you get a girl that would let you do that.” Mac laughed hard at James’ cocky face. “EASY! I’ll get one tonight!” Fraser had entered back into the room and was shaking his head - ‘what a bunch of stupid fucking questions’ - he scoffed immediately at James’ comment, making you all turn around. Fraser was therefore made the next victim: “What about you, man?” His blue eyes regarded you all, eyebrow raised, “What?” “Sex – dude c’mon! You’re Australian and you’ve been in the Navy, it can’t be that hard for you to pull!” Fraser declined to comment and said rather nonchalantly, “I dunno, I’m a morning sex kinda guy.” “OOOOHHH!” Mac laughed, “Damn. We keeping you from something?!” That very nearly raised a smile, “Naw, mate. I’ll let’cha know when you are.” You hadn’t heard a single word since ‘morning sex’ and whatever banter was going on around you was drowned out by how hot you suddenly were. All you could think about was the morning you’d stayed at his. The way he’d been staring at you, running those beautiful ocean blue eyes over your body like that. The way you’d only thought about him pushing you away on the dance floor… when maybe you should have been following your gut feeling. Shit, was I not reading the signs, did he-… want me!? You stood so suddenly in the middle of the conversation that the girls around you jumped and everything was thrown into awkward silence, “S-Sorry… I’ll be right back!” You needed a moment. A very… long moment… You didn’t get it until a little later, when you decided you wanted a quiet night in. Not a real moment. You’d had to lock yourself in the bathroom and scream this morning – that knotted feeling deciding to settle in with you all day, as you had to interact with Fraser armed with this new information, kicking yourself. If you’d have made a move what would his reaction have been? Would it have made a difference if that’s what he was into? You lay back in your sheets alone and took a deep breath wriggling your hips around, closing your eyes. All you could picture was his look, those gorgeous blue eyes nowhere but on you… how sometimes he touched you or held you and he was strong… what would it feel like for him to grip your hips? Pin you beneath him? Every little smile or smirk he’d given you. The way he sometimes said something suggestive, or an innuendo, completely serious and yet knowing exactly what he was doing. Then you could feel the heat of his body, how it felt to have him that close on the dance floor – it couldn’t have felt that different between the sheets. In fact, he’d be closer… How would it feel to kiss him? To have his lips on yours, to have them trace your skin – would he be gentle with you? Would he be rough with you? Would that depend on the time of morning… did his medication affect that? Did Fraser have a preference… There were too many questions… and yet so many fantasies you could have all over one man. It wasn’t long before you were sighing gently, wiggling your hips a little more, pushing up to increase the pressure and friction. And then it was Fraser’s name you were groaning. This felt beyond sinful, but you needed it. You probably had for a while. You were in control; but how would it feel to have him touching you like this. You had to know. You vowed one day you would find out… No matter how long it took.

** Your lament that this may never graduate to anything was short lived for two reasons. One was his sudden willingness to hang out with just you. He would ask ‘Hey, you wanna do anything this evening?’ or ‘You free Sunday? I wanna show you something.’ Sometimes that was places he’d seen, sometimes that was diving techniques. He was teaching you things you’d never get the opportunity to learn otherwise and you were so grateful. But when you tentatively questioned him as to what had changed, he simply laughed and said “Well, turns out I can tolerate you when my pills wear off. And it’s kinda nice to hang with someone, sometimes.” When you suggested things to him, Fraser let you drag him around; he even let you hold his hand, and you’d wander down the boardwalk together like that. Fraser was fine with this arrangement, he would let you live the ‘romance’ you wanted to, without entering into a relationship that would hurt you both. You’d get over him, you’d get over this summer. Usually you could bribe him with ice cream. He was certainly of the mind that if you were going to spend a day on the beach then ice cream was a must, and you picked up on this instantly. Although you tried not to take him so far away from the water – quite clearly Fraser’s first love – he was partial to the odd hike on other parts of the island. The second was your own resignation to the situation you found yourself in. The fact that this was never going to happen almost started to become an unspoken thing between you. Holding his hand and going on whatever these ‘dates’ were was safe, and there was no commitment. Fraser never came across to you like he was ready to commit, even if he would talk to you and touch you like he was. Everyone else teased you when you told them you were leaving for yet another evening or day out with him. Cat calls ranged from rather cute to completely unnecessary and vulgar, but it wasn’t like you weren’t used to everyone talking like this; and you went ahead and laughed. Mac was the only one to pull you to one side and ask if what was happening between you was serious. When you gave a shrug and a head shake: “I don’t think that’s how he works. I don’t think Fraser would ever do summer romance. I think it’s all or nothing…” You folded your arms. “Maybe we’re better as friends. I think we’re at different life stages.” “Is that you being sensible? Is that you meaning it?” “It’s me waiting. It’s okay to be friends. It’s GOOD to be just friends. Mac, I won’t lose him if we’re just friends. If we’re UK based, we can wait. I can wait… And maybe it never happens, but, I don’t lose him.” “You like him that much, huh?” Mac flashed a grin, he felt like he probably knew that. “Yeah. Personally, and professionally. What he can teach me, the kind of friend he can be… probably outweighs a rush I can feel and then just… lose EVERYTHING.” You smiled suddenly, “I know which I’d rather have Mac, I think that’s what I’ve figured out. That should be my choice.” These outings continued, and you ended up staying at his place a few more times – luckily not under the same circumstances! Although you insisted on taking the couch this time, liking to spend lazier mornings with him, where he’d tell you how good you looked in what you were wearing and you’d flush and try to forget the morning sex comment again. You were pretty seamless together when you were working and were heading that way socially too. You liked looking after him too, especially in the period where his meds did start to wear off and he wore a little thin, got a little agitated, stimmed a little more. He had your back and therefore you had his – no questions asked. No thanks needed. Summer was inevitably drawing to a close. You had some big life decisions to make, but wanted to put them off for as long as possible. Fraser started looking for what he termed “real work”, other summer shops and attractions started closing, some of Mac’s team bid you farewell to get back to their own lives: he remained open until the very last moment. It began to get cooler, and it was around this time you knew you had maybe 2 weeks left tops. Fraser was tidying away at the end of the long-ish day – it still being busy with less of you around, and talk turned to the future. “What are your plans after this?” “Haha. Nothing!” You folded your arms, leaning against the side of the boat, “Well, okay that’s not technically true. I might go back to school. I think a degree would be nice to have... but maybe I’ll do it part-time. I don’t know if I can commit to full-time.” “Why’s that?” “Just the way I am. If I can work too, why not?” “Uhuh.” “What about you?” Although you thought you knew the answer, he was going back to the diving he did best. “That’s why I asked.” He closed the final lock and turned back to you, “Cuz I’m going back to my freelance diving work. Now, I know, submarine salvage is kinda… niche, but that’s not all I do.” Fraser took a step forward, “Y/N, you’re a good diver. You’re qualified, your dad was in the Navy. You listen to me, more importantly you understand me. We’ve done a lot of work together this summer and it’s been great work. I’m not spending weekends out there teaching you for nothing, and it’s not just because I like you either. You have so much potential. So, I have a proposition.” You stood straight to attention, because it felt like the situation called for it. “Would you like to become my diving partner? Could always use a good one – and you’re not just good – you’re fantastic.” You very nearly chocked; you!?!? You were young and naïve, and surely not as experienced as he wanted?! But easy to teach, quick to apply your knowledge… malleable. “Y-Y-YES!” “Yeah?” “YES!” You covered your mouth with your hands, “Oh, my goodness, Fraser I- I don’t even know how to thank you!” “You don’t need to. You earned it on your own merit. We’ll start you off slow, but I think you can do as good a job as me, if not better. And together?” Well, he simply had to grin to get his point across. “I have loved working with you. And… I’m under the impression that you don’t want to lose this either. So, what better way than with a partnership?” This was somehow working out too well, if you were part-time student, part-time diver then you couldn’t have thought of a better planned out future. And with Fraser? Not even in your wildest dreams. “I don’t.” You said it too quick, and flushed, “I-I mean, I don’t wanna lose this, either.” Fraser nodded, and instead of shaking your hands he simply took them in his; “Well, we don’t have to.” You couldn’t help but beam. Your resignation to being friends was suddenly all the more important. Would Fraser have asked if you’d have pushed for something he didn’t want? Would he have asked if you were going to be a summer romance? You thought the answer was probably not; even if you didn’t want to consider that answer. Fraser had asked you to be a real part of his life. Not just a summer that you could leave up on a shelf and forget. You had time. You had so much time. You could really get to know him, best friends or soul mates… And maybe more… Time would tell. It was strange to stand with him then and wonder on where time would take you. But you were certain that this friendship would stand the test of time. And that, no matter when, you’d get to look back at this summer and see it as a time you met one of your very best friends. A man that you would love for life.

---

Thank you so much for reading! 😘🙏

#Fraser #Black Sea #Ben Mendelsohn #Fraser x Reader #182 #Linzi Writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #So - Just thinking about how Hurry Baby ends - like Mac would have a proud dad moment.#He'd certainly encorage them to come visit him #He'd be like /oh I remember you kids when you just met!/#Even though Fraser is obviously older than him #Mac would totally big himself up at as the orchestrator of the romance #Fraser and Alicia would tell him to shut up!#Alicia #Okay so in 'canon' / headcanon.... They are approx. 18/28 in this fic.#But that's probably best not to think about.#So if I aid you... that's 24/34 in the scene you meet them in for her accident.#and 34/44 (ie. 2015 ages) in the 'movie canon' part of my fic.#Eh - volia!

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laufire · 4 years

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Black Sails s3

This one took me longer because RL got in the way LOL. I’ve loved it as much as the other two (even if I am IN PAIN over you-know-who’s death DD:). I don’t know when I’ll have the time to finish the last season, but I wanted to post about this one before starting it; otherwise it’d accumulate with the 10+ and counting metas I want to write about this show once I have the full picture LMAO.

Max

As always, I have to start with her because she’s THE FUCKING BEST. This woman is currently competing for the number one spot among fictional characters in my heart LOL (I mean. I have loved Caroline Forbes --who I actually think Max has a lot in common with lmao. Everything I love is the same, as I always say-- for too many years for her to ever be truly dethroned; unless something goes really wrong with Legacies I guess. However, it’s still remarkable that a character could make me doubt).

I’ve absolutely adored her plot this season; watching her growing sphere of influence, the way she affects and upends others’ lives. That’s very much being present since season one, especially with her and Silver in tandem (I have a lot of Thoughts(TM) about those too as a driving/disruptive force in the show --they’ll go to one of those metas--; I’m put off by the fact that I didn’t get to enjoy them conspiring together this season lol. Though her reaction to the fake Long John Silver letter was kind of hilarious xDD. Still. I kind of wish we’d seen the scene where Silver tells her he renounces to his part of the price. It could’ve been very interesting --I guess he could’ve told Jack but that wouldn’t’ve been as good, so this is my headcanon).

The most obvious storyline where this manifest is in her relationship with Anne and Jack. I love everything about it, but well. I have to admit, the ~betrayal/different sides element appeals to me xD. I like that Max prioritices herself and her safety. That she sees the writing on the wall with the English invasion or with Vane’s execution and acts accordingly, the way she calculates her decisions and forms alliances without letting past grievances get in the way --with Eleanor, Rogers, Mrs. Mapleton...--, the choices she makes because she doesn’t want to be “on the outside looking in” ever again and how they always end reverting in her benefit, ultimately (I’m getting ahead because I am spoiled of quite a few things about s4, but I LOVE that eventually she mends her relationship with Anne and Jack. Because it fits into this: how even the possible mistakes and emotional compromises she makes are within a very specific frame that works out for her in the end).

Her relationship with Anne gets even better this season. I think my favourite scene is where Max tells Anne that she nows Anne “cannot fathom leaving me”. Can I get this woman’s confidence LMFAO. But seriously. I luff them. I love how Max convinces Jack of going along her plan to replace the gold with good easier to transport (and how THAT ends up being Flint’s treasure asdñlfkasfj. MY GIRL DIRECTLY CAUSED THE EVENTS IN TREASURE ISLAND OKAY) by appealing to their mutual love for Anne. That she trusts Anne with the story about her father. That she knows just as well as Jack that Anne wouldn’t give up the treasure so easily and she’ll try to save him (and that Anne won’t stomach the thought of Jack being tortured because she couldn’t bear MAX’S torture. My heart).

Another highlight of the season for me was her relationship with Eleanor, which keeps being a huge surprise no matter what xDD (even if, again, never in a shippy way. I’m very glad the season doesn’t go there). I love the reversal of expectation in a general fandom landscape: how ultimately, Eleanor doesn’t have an emotional hold over Max (and that she lost it as early as 1x02, IMO. I’m not saying “Max doesn’t feel anything about Eleanor”, but the truth of the matter is, narratively Eleanor serves Max, not the other way around. And I’m happy and relieved about it, ngl), and that the same isn’t true the other way around. I thought two very telling scenes where a.) Max hosting parody trials of Eleanor that paint her under a completely undignified light, but clearly deriving no pleasure from it: it simply was yet another thing she does for practically, level-headed political reasons; and b.) that Eleanor orders Rogers’ men not to hurt Anne in the exchange because Max’s love for Anne.

Continuing down with Max’s relationships, I’ve grown to really like hers with Idelle. I think Max find Idelle fun, likeable, uncomplicated (the scene where Featherstone tells Idelle he hopes his pardon doesn’t diminish her attraction to her was hilarious and clearly the moment Max was enjoying herself the most in the whole season lmfao. BTW, I kinda liked Idelle/Featherstone since the moment he told Jack he wasn’t concerned because “he was in love with a good woman” and Jack was like “Idelle??”. Yes, it’s fun because client-falling-for-sex-worker is a pitiful cliché, but here’s the thing: he’s right xD. He didn’t say “I’m in love with a woman who loves me”. He said he was in love with someone GOOD and Idelle IS a good woman, dammit xDD).

Max doesn’t concern herself much with the idea of Idelle going behind her back because Idelle loves her, respects her, and is a loyal friend (and yet clearly sees Max exactly as she is and doesn’t have any delusions about it. Luckily for her Max is probably the type to feel angry but not vengeful about this lol, if only because it could reflect on her). And Max is right about that. But I love that Idelle still has it in her to take a different path by allying herself with the pirates. I’m curious about the reasoning being after Max makes Mrs. Mapleton madam again; it’s clear the girls aren’t happy about her and she didn’t seem like she took good care of them in s1, to put it mildly, so there’s some of that, but I like to think part of it was Idelle going, “seriously Max? I’m right here! I could be the Madam!” xDD.

Her dynamic with Mrs. Mapleton was really interesting too; I like how she too puts aside any old grudge and decides to put her bets with Max over Eleanor or Rogers, because she has confidence that Max and her methods (“I choose to let the players reveal themselves to me, least I make an enemy out of someone I might wish to call a friend one day”) will outlast them (btw, that line/her approach in general --as well as Silver’s “liked is a good as feared” MO--, kind of reminded me to Sansa Stark’s “If I am ever queen, I will make them love me.” line. Food for thought). Yet I think Mrs. Mapleton instructed Georgia to attempt to ~seduce Max to get information out of her, which is very much in line with her. I loled at Max’s reaction basically being “gurl, who do you think you’re talking to. I practically invented this. GTFO” xDD

Basically, her entire storyline this season was pure gold. I love how all of those dynamics come from her maneuvers to keep herself safe, in power, and with influence (because those go hand in hand). I love her pride and her confidence, the way she refuses the scraps Eleanor and Rogers intend to give her at first (and how she firmly says to Eleanor “people do not speak to me that way anymore”, how she establishes a new normal between them), and how she pays her way out of trouble/into power with the gold she stole from Flint & co xDD.

My favourite moment of hers is devided between “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”, and “I AM Nassau” (that made me decide that if I ever write fic where Max needs a last name for any reason, it’s going to be Nassau. It is law), and how meta they’ll turn out to be :DD. I also have Thoughts about the evolution of her styles (beyond the obvious “omg she’s soooooo beautifuuuuul” lmao) but I’ll leave that for another show-encompassing meta too :P

Madi

She catapulted herself to Forever Fave status pretty quickly (I may have too many of those in this show. W h a t e v e r xDD). I love how self-assured she is (“when I speak my men listen, and they do as I say”), and how she always thinks of the big picture (like when she fought her impulse to order her men to fight against the pirates after one of them beat one of hers). And I have a lot of Feels about how this is explicitly linked to her heritage, her mother and father, their ~legacies.

Speaking of: one of the few major spoilers I seem to have avoided was that Mr. Scott was Madi’s father LOL. I was DELIGHTED by that reveal, and how it makes you reconsider his story. His relationship with Eleanor could’ve been a frankly off-putting cliché, but this completely circumvents that; it’s true that he’d shown more independence from her than I would’ve expected in another show, by leaving her side to do his own thing and further contributing to her vulnerability. But giving him a real* family, one that he prioritises over Eleanor and HID FROM HER, using her position to their benefit... That’s on a whole other level.

*I know some people are going to object to this qualifier. Fandom gets like that about found families, adopted families, etc. And I get it, but this is NOT like those situations. Mr. Scott was Eleanor’s SLAVE, FFS. That is incompatible with being her family, her father figure, no matter what she thought. And I love that the show made it explicit, when Madi tried to talk about his “two daughters” and he said “NO. ONLY YOU” in his deathbed (I might or might not have cried, okay. It may be one of my favourite scenes in the whole series). Especially when there’s a very obvious trend of characters of color COINCIDENTALLY being written as prioritizing white characters over their biological families, at the cost of their health and even their lives (I am still not over Monty being forced to kill his own mother to protect Octavia in The 100. Fuck that shit, seriously). Black Sails deciding to do the oposite here is FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY and I love it to pieces.

Another thing I loved is that they picked an actress that looks more like Mr. Scott than like her mother or Max (darker skin etc.): aka how the few black female characters that usually get what Madi will from Silver --that ~eternal devotion, willing to go against anything and anyone for her etc.-- tend to look.

Unsurprisingly, I like Madi/Silver VERY MUCH lol. I like that he is immediately ~drawn to her, in a subtle way, and viceversa (like in the scene where he’s still in the cage watching how she has trouble breathing after seeing her wounded father, or when they hug after his death). All their talks about power, responsibility, succession etc. are really good. And her concern for him is as palpable as probably inconvenient for her xD. I love the scene where she holds her hand as his leg is treated, or her worry one Silver calls himself a “one legged creature”. Though my favourite might be when he smiles when she shows concern for his state after killing Dufresne, and she’s like “well duh, if you fall apart the alliance between my people and yours is screwed” xDD

And though there hasn’t been much development yet on that side, I’m already so onboard with Flint/Madi/Silver lmfao. I love that nod of ~acknowledgment between Flint and Madi with the Maroon Queen’s voiceover about how Madi will have as much authority as Flint in his own ship xD. Her concern about Silver’s relationship with him is kind of ironic knowing that they’ll eventually find themselves more aligned between them than with Silver, by virtue of their many commonalities LOL. And there’s already traces of that ot3 feels, like when Madi tells Silver that the mistake of those “other people close to Flint” that he’s so scared of following to the grave was trying to deal with Flint alone (Madi’s seduction technique: kindness, understanding, and offers of partnership. I dig it).

I want more scenes of and with her mother, too. And between her mother and Silver, since apparently the Maroon Queen trusts him among all the pirates NOT to betray them for money (Jack saying the irony wasn’t lost on him and Flitn was hilarious xD) and that has to be thanks to Madi’s opinion of him. I’m kind of bitter we never got a Mr. Scott & Silver scene, too, especially after Silver and Madi become romantically involved. I love that stuff.

Miranda

I could just upload a bunch of gifs of various crying/in pain/etc. states here because WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS THE PAINNN. I was ~feeling Flint’s grief the entire time, I swear (though... did it have to express itself by shaving his head... asking for a friend). The violence he kept inflicting in her name (her word will be the last word); how he convinced his crew, Silver included, to go into the storm rather than surrendering, for her (and narratively speaking Silver is right, he did conjure it xDD). How fucking tired he is of it all (“you can talk your way part it”, “I don’t know that I have any more lies left in me”).

As far as I’m concerned he could be hallucinating her the rest of the show (I’m going to miss seeing her so much... especially in light of the ending), as painful as I find those scenes. At this point “But when I lost you... I am ruined over you” is an instant tear-jerker, ugh. So is Flint wantint to let go and “be with her”, and ghost!Miranda saying she’d resent him for giving up. Though my favourite is when Miranda basically describes herself as his “maker”, about how she ~shaped him *clenches fist*. I love those kinds of ships.

BTW: I think the moment Rogers mentioned Thomas, Miranda’s ghost, Flint, and I, yelled “HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME” on the inside xD

Flint & Silver

Sometimes fandom gets it right because the relationship between these two is... A Lot. A LOT. I anticipate a lot of suffering on my part in the near future xD

I loved the evolution in the first half of the season, from Flint telling Silver that “in my head, you’re not welcome”, or Silver resenting that Flint’s words convinced HIM (HE’S the convincer!! It’s not supposed to happen to ME!! xDD) and rambling about how Flint is “able to ~conjure the reality he desires”, to Silver finally confessing about his part on the Urca gold robbery (which I’m at least 60% sure Flint suspected already tbh. That was not one of Silver’s best lies lbr) in order to force Flint to “account for ME” --but ofc still grabbing the nearest weapon as he confeses, just in case xDD. I am also incredibly delighted by the fact that the fandom calls that episode “shark date” asdñflkasjdf (*Flint and Silver barely manage to kill one shark*; Flint, challenging: again? *Silver grins*. Shark hunting = foreplay now, apparently).

I want it known that I end up ENRAGED every time they talk about their ~partnership lmfao. It comes off very intimate and gives me too many feelings xD. “When you and I talk with one voice, we can convince them of anything”; “your words opened that door [Flint convincing the Maroon Queen to spare their lives and join their fight]”; “you didn’t tell me the journey into the dark feels good”; “he doesn’t know how to say no to the both of us at the same time”; “I’m afraid I will be the end of you”. JUST STOP YOU ASSHOLES XDD

One of my favourite moments is when Silver convinces Flint to live. To go on, to talk to the Maroon Queen without a safeguard (that knife would’ve been his doom) and get her on their side (which Flint does with a super passionate speech about fighting England’s empire. ILH). Another is when Silver tells him he enjoyed killing Dufresne WITH HIS PROSTHETIC LEG OMFG (I personally think killing Dufresne was very valid of him lmfao), or Flint says Silver enjoyed punishing Dobbs (which in Silver fashion, worked perfectly for him because it made Dobbs MORE susceptible to him). Though obviously everything pales when compared to the scene where CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE LMFAO. I loved that scene; it was so gentle. And then Silver made it about him and their relationship xDD (this show is not subtle). Flint’s apparent lack of concern about Silver replacing him is stressing me out though. I dread the series finale xD

Outside of Flint/Silver, Silver’s journey remains awe-inspiring. I just... love him. I love that he gave up his share of the Urca gold because he had to hold onto the crew, but that he is terrified of their bow to take care of him. His concern for his image in front of them was heartbreaking and hit waaaaay too close to home, too. And I wonder how he’s going to react to Billy’s King Long John Silver stratagem xD

BTW, I lowkey shipped him with Muldoon LOL. They should’ve had ~tender sex~~ (on screen, I headcanon it did happen off-screen, whatever) at some point (if only so there was one measly mlm sex scene in the show amidst all the rest. It’s troubling, to say the least, that there’s not a single one when it has a queer male lead tbh. And I get why they didn’t go that route with Flint outside of Thomas and can even see why they didn’t do it with Flint/Thomas even if I judge the hell out of them for it, but given how they go out of their way for the other options... yeah, I side eye them).

Jack

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I WISH HE HAD MORE SCREENTIME, OKAY. Every time he opens his mouth the show gets just a little bit better, if you ask me xD. “If you’re going to behave like children, I will be your daddy” WHO SAYS THAT JACK XDD.

I loved him even more when he decided to deny Rogers & co the cache, Spanish invasion or not, to not give up and assure “his legacy”. And OF COURSE he could write his intentions in a way that only Anne would understand (Max reaaaally understimated him there). Their relationship remains the sweetest (weird adjective, maybe, but it’s true) part of the show, btw. I love that how Jack describes how hurt Anne would feel after knowing she might’ve unwittingly betrayed him. Or when he knew Anne giving up to easily meant she had a plan and he cheerfully told Rogers Anne would find a way to save him xD (the scene where he absolutely drags Rogers about his privilege --“but did I make up a lot of ground to catch you!”-- is perfect. And their reunion kiss was so, so cute.

Other highlights were when he threw away the key of the cache in front of Flint to secure it, or made his pitch to be his fellow captain in the fight. I also take a petty pleasure in the fact that Vane sacrificed himself when he went to his rescue LOL.

I like that he convinced Blackbeard to fight alongside them, but sweetie, you have NOTHING to prove to that asshole. His opinion is worthless (between his “strife is good” and Vane’s “comfort is for women” takes... ugh. They remind me of the exact discourse among leftism I hate okay xDD. In Vane’s case I at least get where he’s coming from and I even agree in part, but Blackbeard is even more boring).

Misc

-I love Billy’s more and more insidious antagonism towards Flint lmfao (yes, Flint is also one of my Forever Faves. This is compatible AND the kind of thing that would make me appreciate Billy more. I love irreverence, period). It starts with subtle ways of trying to poison Flint and Silver’s relationship (telling Silver Flint doesn’t see him as an equal, sending Silver to deliver Flint’s message instead of Flint himself, etc.). I laughed at him saying he’s all for Flint sacrificing himself for the crew since it’d be the “first selfless thing I’ve seen him do!” lol. Or that he “wants a good view when things catch up with Flint and the world makes sense again”. And ofc, creating the legend of Long John Silver. You just know he remembered Flint’s out of left field “I AM YOUR KING” and said “not on my fucking watch” xDD. And I love the irony of him being the one delivering black spots LOL.

-Did it really took that long for Anne and Flint to share some freaking words smh. Barely, but I’ll take it. I liked the moment where Jack references Max as “Anne’s lost love” and Flint does that Closeted Queer Observing A Queer Couple Look lol (he did the same when he was witness to Max and Eleanor’s fight. You need more queer friends, Flint :P).

-I liked Mrs. Hudson from the moment that she told Eleanor that the only difference she saw between her and other ladies is that their families have better lawyer --which meant Eleanor was the first one she could be rude towards xD--, and accused her of living of her father’s nepotism LOL. I hope she ends up in a good place and safe back with her kids.

-I can’t say I care much about Vane or his relationship with Eleanor, but his death and her hand on it were very well written IMO.

-I find Rogers so inherently unlikeable in every way LMFAO. And as hypocritical as it might sound, part of it is the extramarital affair ngl. I hate storylines where a man married to a more “conventional” woman is ~attracted to one he perceives as “stronger”, “fiercer”, and more worthy of himself (as if his opinion on the matter is worth shit) --only to eventually try and make the new woman more conventional once he “has” her. This one hasn’t gone all the way there but it has traces of that trope and I loathe it with all my heart.

-The only moment I managed to pay attention to Blackbeard was when he mentioned he had shrapnel advancing towards his heart, and for anyone who knows me a little, you know it’s because my brain linked that to Tony Stark lmfao. *Sighs* I just never like any version of Blackbeard, period. I find them so boring. He’s the opposite of Long John Silver that way, because I’ve loved every single version I’ve encountered so far.

-The way Spain is portrayed in this show is so... unusual. Especially for USA content in my experience. One day I’m going to have to do some more research and write about how Spain (and in particular Spanish violence -inter and intranational) is portrayed across the ocean.

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