#considered yesterday that i could just put the alpaca on the backburner until the weather is actually good enough

[milkweedman]

Second round of seedlings so far ! I have no idea what any of the flowers coming up are (ran out of labels a few years ago and now i just like to guess until it's big enough to be obvious lol) but the beets (red shoots with green leaves) and spinach (no closeups but its the ones that look like little grass) are doing well, as is the singular melon that actually germinated. Not sure what happened there, maybe i planted the rest too deep. The sage, basil, amd parsley are all from the first round of seedlings and just growing slowly and steadily. Should probably thin them, i guess...

Also, the lavendar outside is doing that molting thing again which i love, and the Old Stump in the front yard is looking particularly nice today.

#gardening #im very nervous at the moment because i just sent a message to my surgeon asking for more pain meds #bc of how awful the last week has been #and im nervous that 1) she'll say no bc i rly dont know how i will get thru another week or so of that pain #but also 2) what if she labels it drug seeking behavior and it goes on my chart or something ?? #like the thing is that it IS drug seeking behavior bc i want drugs so that i am in less pain #specifically do want drugs for pain control. and will want them in the future too ... #idk. yeah. nervous. also still in a lot of pain but took my very last two oxys a few minutes ago bc #if i am going to be this nervous it seems cruel to make myself also experience the fact that my right hip is dislocated again #which it is. and has been for a few days now. #chronic illness #hospital #i mean technically we are talking about surgery pain here but its not like all the chronic pain disappears for surgery #it doesnt take a nice little vacation #its still there its just that now youre trying to recover while every few hours someone dislocates a joint for fun #which doesnt help very much with recovery #anyway ! it is a nice day outside rn but im not sure if i should trust that it will stay that way for long #but i would love to spin... #considered yesterday that i could just put the alpaca on the backburner until the weather is actually good enough #to spin outside for 5-6 hours at a time so i can just get it done #and mix some fun scrap batts to spin in the meantime #but i had a box full of packing peanuts from the dulcimer that my moms girlfriend sent #which was sitting right underneath all my scrap yarn in my crafting area in my room #and then all of my scrap yarn fell into it. and i have not cleaned it up yet for reasons unknown to me #will try to do it today ? the oxy has kicked in (have to take double the dose for it to do anything so the latest refill was 2.5 doses) #and i am in Minimal Pain and feeling...dare i say .... functional ? #drugs