#denial is a river in egypt and I am bathing in it

[vegaly-art]

EA Spoilers (06/02)

... Vega :((... I swear this video better not be the last we see of him (Since Imperium is likely not coming back and I am doubtful there will be other AUs for a while, or any flashbacks with him because... well... there is little to flashback to outside of learning lore). The title is one reason I think this isn't the end. Deferred judgment cannot really relate to Warden nor Hush. Hush did not defer judgment, since he is so trigger-happy, and Warden doubtfully could provide judgment. So applying the title to Vega, it would make sense that his judgement would be deferred because he was removed from Elegy for potentially a while. Also, the fact that the series title, "Carpe Deus", is there, also seems weird but I have few thoughts on what it could mean. ajhdgajhgd. Also, the sound effects used for his death caught my attention. After all, there has been one and only one canonically confirmed daemon DEATH in this channel's history, that being Imperium Brachium, who expended all his magic. And Vega said that Warden would have also died had they used up all of theirs. Now, Hush HAS attacked and 'killed' several demons that we know of, however, we have no proof they have ceased to exist fully. Their physical bodies were surely destroyed (except those in Aria who are much more likely to just be gone) but there is not yet confirmation of their DEATHS as far as I know. So there's a chance Vega may just be back in Aria. And just... story wise I think it'd be a bit cheap to have someone so relevant to the lore, but not actually all that relevant to most watchers of the channel be killed off. His character arc has had little room to breathe, his story has not been elaborated on almost at all, etc. It could be INTERESTING to have someone so strong and relevant die, sure. But so many little details feel off. Yknow?? :P. Maybe I am just very hopeful because I do love Vega a lot as a character, and find his story fascinating. And also I worry for Warden because what would they do without him? I mean all of this happened even before Inversion. I could imagine they could try to use Inversion to gain power but it may be hard. And they would have basically no direction since Vega kept so many secrets. And I DOUBT they went back to the department after this. I shall be waiting for the official release with bated breath, and seeing what happens from there regardless though. I love Vega so much and will continue to in perpetuity. Crossing my fingers that his playlist does not get the completed marker placed on it <3

#denial is a river in egypt and I am bathing in it #but also I do genuinely believe all of this so :P here's to hoping for the best for the best morally dubious redacted man <3 #they can take blake idc but not him ;;; #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted patreon #redacted early access #redactedverse

[karmaisntab]

I’m not actively suicidal and therefore I’m not depressed! 😃

#this is totally how it works #denial is a river in egypt and I am BATHING in it I am DRINKING its waters #tw depression #tw suicide mention

[whatitellmyfriends-blog]

Turning the BIG 40!!!

I can't even believe I had to write the above title! How is it even possible that I am almost 40? How did I get here so fast? What did I think 40 was? What do I think 40 will be? Truth is I never gave it much thought until it was closer in front of me rather than something in a galaxy far far away.  Everyday that passes though here it comes faster and faster!

I get that 40 is just a number, deep down I still feel like an awkward teenager.  Im the one looking around thinking “oh that mom is way older than me, look at all her responsibilities” then “that mom” tell she she's only 34 and I gasp in shock! I hang out with my 26 year old clients and feel like one of the girls mean while Im almost twice their age! denial?..maybe..but i would prefer to say that with a Jamacian accent explaining it is simply a river in Egypt.

40 is something my parents once were, 40 is like real adulting, in your 40′s weird stuff happens to your body, 40 is halfway to 80, 40 is like there is absolutely no excuse to not have your sh*&t together!!! 40 is when I should be able to understand my kids math homework but somedays math homework still has me in tears!!

40 is just a number, bigger than 30 but still just a number..lol..there is nothing wrong with being something my parents once were, truth is everyday I wake up and put my feet on the ground is a great blessing that i give thanks for everyday. Looking back I just never really thought one day I would be where my parents were, but here I am killing it!! lmao! “real adulting” as I like to call it is something I have been doing for quite sometime now, managing my own business for 15 years, being a wife for almost 10, a mom for almost 9, owning our own home and maintaining it well ( minus weeds, weeds don't count they pop up faster than my grey hairs).  We pay bills and taxes on time, have a family calendar and no car alone..lol. 40 is halfway to 80 (dang maybe I'm better in math that i think..hahahahaha) wouldn't it be really awesome to be 80 one day! and Lets be honest I have my sh*t together thats never been a problem!

40 is just this new found stage.  Im not having anymore babies, or planning a wedding (just a big birthday party).  Im not buying my first house or even my first car.  Girls nights are few and far between.  Im not spending $120 on a single digit pair of jeans or even buying sexy bras and underwear (sorry dave lol) There are no more impromptu vacations to far away lands, the gym is so much work now, weight doesn't fall of like it used to, instead hairs pop up in unwanted places and i have to pluck a grey eyebrow here and there(wth??).There are no more weekly playdates with mom groups or long walks through the mall with a sleeping baby.  This new found stage I find myself venturing into has me searching out small babies to have a wee cuddle with, handing them back thankful I have some independent children.  It has me planning a 10th anniversary and big birthday bash.  It has me decorating and picking out furniture for house I am blessed to have that I Love and get to watch my kids grow up in.  It has me walking the aisles of a thrift store relishing in a great deal for a growing family.  I may not be a single digit size anymore but I am thankful everyday for a body that made two beautiful healthy children and allows me to keep up with them everyday, and lets be honest, who needs sexy bras and underwear.  I want comfortable, Id consider it like winning the lottery if I could just find one pair that fit properly.  I mean if they aren't rolling down under my mum tum I have to pull them up so high some weird stuff falls out the sides! Butt wedgies, Vag wedgies! (struggle is real don't deny) Lets not even talk about bras! Seriously ! Th prices for something to hold my boobies! Remember the good old days when boys would do that for free!! hahahahaha!! Now I have to pay like $60 for something that holds my front boobs but does absolutely nothing for my back boobs!! (oh the horror!! shock! gasp!) I never ever feel like the flawless victoria secret model when I put that on! what a scam!!

This stage finds me walking beside girlfriends going thru marriage struggles, divorces, miscarriages, financial stress, job loss, career change.  This season has me realizing I need to set boundaries for healthy relationships, that my health and well being isn't just for me anymore.  I have people under the same roof as me that count on me for their daily needs.  During this season I am most days overwhelmed with laundry and dishes, noticing the dust under the couch, resigned to one piece bathing suits and thinking about eliminating underwear completely to avoid all noted issues above.LMAO! Also I have noticed that when u are in your 40′s its totally an unwritten rule that you never go to a girlfriends house without wine and you never leave without drinking the whole bottle together.  Wine becomes a staple like salt on the dinner table, “and heres mommas wine”.  All of a sudden your drinking daily and its totally acceptable..LMAO.  Girls nights and impromptu vacations have turned into a family calendar that takes up a whole kitchen wall, gigs, events and activities are all written down.  We plan who’s in charge of finding a sitter and when gramma is coming back to us from vacation!! We do our best to squeeze things in , no one sleeps till noon anymore, there is always something to do.  Vacations circle around kids enjoyment and are never restful, but boy they are fun!!

So I have decided to prove to myself that age is just a number I have made a list of 40 things I want to do before I turn 40.  I made my vision board and have started making them happen and it feels so great for the self-care aspect of life.  I mean if we don't look after ourselves how on earth are we supposed to look after others.  This year before I turn 40 I just want to push myself a little bit harder to get to somewhere I have never been before. 40 is coming and it is coming fast!!  I want to make sure that everyday I am blessed with is the best day! that I am living my best life! Wish me luck! if I figure out how to post this, the list will follow..lol!!

[definitelyameatbag]

Meet the Lovesick

Another chapter for the college AU by @drawbauchery!

---

“Y’know, I bet we look like the poster from that movie.”, mumbled Amy into her cup of coffee, speaking to Laplace at her side as they sized up the apartment building.

It was a dreary morning. The fog on the ground mixed with the cloud-covered sky to canvas the street in grey. Laplace normally would still be in her house at this time, Amy would be in bed, but Holly threatened an inspection on them if they didn’t do this for her. Her secretary had been gone for the last few days, she wouldn’t even pick up the phone. Now it was up to them to somehow drag her to work before the day began. Luckily, one window in the building, the third storey of a total of four, was lit, the one which Laplace recalled belonged to her.

“Which movie was that?”, asked Laplace, before having a quick shiver inside her coat.

Amy took another look around, the dim light of the Sun just about to poke over the horizon, the dense clouds of fog quick to obscure both ends of the quiet, nearly-empty city street, “It’s the one with the little girl, and she’s possessed, and the guy goes ‘The Power of Christ compels you!’”, she explained, putting on an accent.

Laplace looked confused for a moment, but then snickered, “Oh yeah! The man’s standing standing outside the building and it’s all foggy!”, she answered, “I get you. Though I hope we don’t find her latched onto the ceiling, or levitating over the bed.”

They approached the entrance, Laplace checking the house numbers ‘Room 5 - Aki, M.’ They climbed the steps, reaching the third floor, a corridor with two doors facing each other. One of the doors was slightly open, a wedge of light cast on the corridor floor. Laplace and Amy approached it, seeing the ‘5’ sign stuck on it.

Amy looked concerned, “Should we go on? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...is she alright?”

Laplace furrowed her brow, and raised her hand to the door, ready to gently knock on it.

“Hey, bitch!”, Laplace shouted into the room.

No reply.

“Hmmm. There might be something wrong. Come on.”, Laplace pushed the door open, taking a few slow steps into the apartment.

The lights were on, and Laplace could see that no chores had been done for the best part of a week. The sink was packed with plates and takeaway packets, there was a stench suggesting they had been there for at least a few days, and most worryingly of all, the coffee table had more than a few empty beer cans and wine bottles.

“Huh. You’d think she’d keep her place looking nice.”, whispered Amy. She thought it looked alright when you saw past the garbage, a few paintings, Laplace would’ve told her they were ‘impressionist’, some nice-looking furniture, some candles, a tray for incense sticks.

“Her ‘game’, I believe, usually is to get into the beds of others, though I bet it’s another thing for her to tally. ‘Your Place/My Place Ratios’ seem to be the sort of thing her sort would--” Laplace tried to whisper back, her bubbling anger forcing her to bite her lip. She heard a hum from what seemed to be the bathroom, and indeed the wedge of light from the nearly-closed door betrayed that it was likely occupied.

“Mari?”, Amy asked as she slowly pushed the door open.

The sight she saw, she didn’t know whether to call the hospital or burst out laughing.

Mari lay prone on the floor of the tile bathroom floor, snoozing quietly. Laplace gagged at the smell, reeking from the toilet, both women fairly certain of what it was. Amy noticed the reaction from Laplace, and diligently tiptoed across the bathroom to flush the toilet, though not without taking the chance to look in.

She had to hand it to Mari, her aim was top-notch.

“Here, I’ll get the shoulders, you get the feet.”, Laplace managed to speak past the gag reflex.

Amy looked down at Mari, then at Laplace, “Why? Where we putting her?”

Laplace stared silently at Amy, expressionless, then made a side glance to the shower bath, glowing with nasty intent. Amy only needed a moment to realise this, and shared delight with the idea.

Crossing around Mari like investigators at a murder scene, Amy first gently setting down her coffee cup, the two women gently, or not so gently, grabbed hold of her ends. “Alright, Mari.”, Laplace cooed, “Say ‘hello’ to a bright new day.”

Flipping her around and suspending her in the air, Mari grumbled and feebly struggled in their hands, nodding her her head at irritation of the light being the most she could do. With only a little effort, they were able to lower her into the bath, the showerhead aimed directly down at her face.

Laplace took delight in grabbing hold of the lever. She looked to Amy, “Ve ‘ave charge, Igor?”

Amy grinned and nodded, “Yeth, mathter!”

Mari’s eyelids had just about broke open when Laplace slammed the lever down, soaking her in freezing water.

“AHHHHHHH!”, screamed Mari, juttering up, flailing her arms to catch the stream of water. Laplace turned off the lever just as her hair soaked up some water and began to run it out down her face.

“Morning!”, greeted Amy, cheerily, as Mari focused on wiping her face dry.

She only slightly feared for her life as Mari glared at her with an anger that seemed capable of boiling off the water until she was bone dry. “What are you doing here?!”

Laplace crossed her arms. “Holly sent us. Why have you not been at work?”

Mari turned the focus of scorn to Laplace, but it didn’t last long. She seemed to remember something, and then slowly folded into herself, sliding back into the tub. “I...I, uhh...”

Laplace sighed, turned to the toilet and set down the lid, taking a seat on top, “Tell me about her.”

That irritated Mari enough to get her sitting up again, but a blush once more froze her, “I--I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Laplace slowly nodded her head, up and down, “‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Hear that, Amy? She doesn’t know what I’m talking about.”

Amy’s grin was ear-to-ear, “Cut her some slack, Lap, she’s new to this.”

Mari gritted her clear, clearly of the opinion she would rather be anywhere else. “I am not ‘new’ to anything! And I would be delighted if you two would get out of my--”

“Oh!”, Laplace called out, and started wagging her fingers to a simple beat. Looking to Amy like a children’s TV presenter, she said in a singsong voice “If. You. Will. Take into consideration. Think past your inebriation. You’ll find it better than fornication, it’s love! Love! Love!”

Amy giggled, only slightly worried about Laplace being within punching distance. “You’re torturing her. Here, Romeo, wake yourself up.”, holding out her cup for Mari to take. Mari had the face of a killer, but she accepted the coffee, instantly emptying it with a large gulp.

Laplace sat up straight, “I suppose this isn’t the sort of experience you learn about in ‘The Player’s Guide to Ukrainian Chicks Vol. 3’, is it? The rush of adrenalin in your veins? The fire inside your heart? The crushing feeling that you couldn’t possibly be in her league? What was her name again, Amy?”

Amy playfully rubbed her chin, “‘Paz Toledo’, wasn’t it? I’m surprised, Mari, I didn’t think you’d ever settle down with a mujer hermosa.”

“Shut up, shut up! The both of you!”, Mari shouted, sliding back down into the bath, covering her face. After a moment, she deposited her arms back down to her sides, looking defeated. “‘Paz’, huh? I couldn’t even find that out before running away like a child. I couldn’t even ask her her name.”

Laplace nodded, “Yep. And she’s a new member of staff, so it’s pretty much guaranteed you will see her again. I don’t know if you find that to be a good thing or not.” Laplace was silent for a moment. “So you really think you love her, don’t you?”

Mari stared up at the bathroom light, the harshness somewhat justifying her ugly glare. “I don’t love anyone. I don’t even love myself, I admire myself. Love is an idiotic idea.”

“And Denial is a river in Egypt.”, Laplace countered. “Really, what are you going to do about it? You’ve been stuck in here for a few days, you must’ve thought about how you’re going to ‘win’ her. What does your ‘experience’ tell you to do? Buy her a drink? Tell her a stupid oneliner? Grope her and pester her until she gives in?

Mari looked away, “...no...I...I couldn’t. She...”, she thought carefully, “She doesn’t deserve that.”

For a moment, Laplace wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn't honestly say she expected Mari to answer her. “...well...if you...want it, if you’re going to think of her as something more than a notch in a tally, then I think we...”, she looked to Amy before she could run away, “We...can help you make a good, ahh, ‘second’ impression.”

Laplace and Amy intently listened in for a reply, at last hearing a meek, mumbling, exhausted, “...alright...”

Laplace smiled, and stood up from the toilet. “Well, here’s the first lesson to a committed relationship.”, she grabbed the shower lever again. “Take regular showers.”

Mari’s eyes widened, holding up her arms to shield her face, “Wait, n--!”

The lever was pulled down.

#steven universe #fanfic #college au #@drawbauchery #lapis #amethyst #aquamarine