Tumgik
#did not expect this blog to make me start working w how stunted I felt socially all of a sudden after lowkey isolating at my parents + work
deathxproof-archive · 7 months
Note
🎁
🎁 — what have you accomplished in the rpc that you’re proud of?
Very genuinely coming back with a much, much much less anxious mindset that I’m STILL trying to break the fuck out of is impressive on its own to me I’m not gonna lie. It is sometimes an effort for me to engage with people and respond to messages in an even vaguely, remotely timely manner from overthinking and anxiety lmao. I essentially came back to the tumblr rpc to give myself a hobby outside of work and also selling/making artwork as a business and practice. This is very much a creative venture I don’t have to think as much about, both in the sense that it’s a hobby and comes pretty naturally to me at this rate. I was jokingly calling it art rehab therapy with my living mates. I also think it’s been slowly helping me be more social without freaking out about it. Also I was always very touched and softened by people telling me they started to fuck around with their characters’ gender and gender presentation and etc in rp after I started having SO much fun writing Rory and the Master as very explicitly trans masc. Characters are meant to be fucked with !!! That includes their gender !!!! Even if it feels wildly self indulgent !!!
3 notes · View notes
tinyboxxtink · 3 years
Text
Weird Secret Friends *Chapter 3*
I fixed it!!!! Huzzah!!!
If you didn't see it earlier, it was crap-tastic on my phone.
I'm glad so far people love this. <3
Tumblr media
Part 2
Part 4
Tag List
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@word-scribbless
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
@objection-argumentative
-------------
When you returned everyone was laughing at chatting, except for Sonny who was drinking vodka and soda while on his phone. He looked up and saw you both returning, he jumped up to meet you.
“Hey, counselor. I hope Y/N wasn’t too hard on you,” He half laughed.
“Are you kidding me, Sonny?” You scoffed.
“She’s fine, Sonny,” He smirked. “I like a little fire in a woman,”
“Oh?” Sonny’s eyebrows suddenly raised, causing you to give Barba a look. He was blowing your cover!
“I mean, I expect it from Jersey girls anyway,” He flipped his compliment quickly.
“God…” You muttered, looking at the floor. Pick a side, counselor.
“Anyway, um,” Sonny cleared his throat, trying not to think about Rafael and you together. “So when do we do presents and cake? I’ve kind of got an early--”
“I’m sorry, what?” Rafael furrowed his brows at Sonny. “Did you-- Carisi did you really just say that?”
“Do you see a present table? Do you see a giant rat mascot running around?”
“...What? Did I say something--?” Sonny became flustered.
“What do you think this is, a fucking Chuck E Cheese?” He suddenly snapped, causing shocked looks from both you and Sonny.
“I’m sorry Barba, I--”
“Alright that’s it,” You stepped in between the two of them, glaring at Rafael.
“Excuse you?” Rafael crossed his arms.
“Y/N, knock it off,” Sonny hit you softly.
“You have been nothing but rude to my cousin since we got here, Mr. Barba,” You pointed a finger to his chest.
“He was just trying to be nice, getting you a gift out of the goodness of his heart, something you would know nothing about!” Maybe now you were overcompensating.
“Y/N!” Sonny said through gritted teeth.
“What?!” You turned to see everyone at the party staring at the three of you in shocked silence. “Oh…” Your voice turned soft, your face turned red.
“Well,” Rafael straightened his suit and tie, recovering from your little rant. “I guess I should be a gracious host and open it then, shouldn’t I?” He gave you a look.
“...Holy shit,” You heard one of the guests gasp. “That thing is over $1,000! My wife wouldn’t even get me that for Christmas,”
“NO!” Sonny objected rather loudly,. “I mean, that’s not necessary Barba. It’s just a little something, it’s fine,”
“No no, your cousin is right,” He shook his head as he walked over next to Sonny’s chair and retrieved the large gift bag and placed it on the table. Sonny bolted over, you trailed behind quickly.
“No, seriously Barba, don’t,” Sonny began to panic. You suddenly realized how this was going to look, maybe you shouldn’t have pushed.
“Carisi why are you being like--” Rafael was questioning him but was silenced mid-speech when he pulled out the briefcase. His eyes went wide, you swore you heard a few people audibly gasp, You looked around completely lost, finally noticing the absolute horror on Sonny’s face.
“....Is this a Louis Voutton Robusto 2 in Taiga leather, Carisi?” Rafael whispered, running his fingers over the fine leather.
“Oh my god,” You couldn't watch this. Sonny had such a big heart, too big of a heart. He tried so hard...why didn’t you step in sooner?
“Uh y-yeah, sure Barba whatever you want,”
“Carisi, can I speak with you a moment outside?” Rafael blinked rapidly, trying to wrap his head around what was happening right now.
“Do you guys need somewhere to make out?!” An obnoxious man laughed, making the other guests snicker.
“Oh shove it Buchanan,” Rita hit him. “Sonny’s just his puppy,”
“Oh god,” Sonny muttered under his breath as he followed Barba outside. He didn’t know which was worse for people to think right now.
“This is totally inappropriate, why would you even--” He threw his hands over his head. God it was one thing knowing Sonny had a thing for him, but for him to finally make a move like this-- in front of his peers? His colleagues? The audacity.
You wondered if you should follow them. You were the one to cause this mess, after all. Also you really didn’t like the looks you were getting from the rest of the party-goers. You quickly began to follow after them, you could hear Rafael yelling from a mile away.
“What the hell is WRONG with you, Carisi?!”
“I-I’m sorry, Barba I--”
“WHAT?!” Sonny’s eyes instantly went to you. “W-Why would you…? Why would you say that?”
“I’m sorry, counselor I just thought--”
“You just thought what, Carisi?” He growled. “That if you bought some ridiculously expensive gift I’d suddenly realized you were ‘the one’?”
“What?!” Sonny suddenly snapped. “What the-- what the fuck are you talking about, Barba?”
“Uh I don’t know Carisi, maybe the fact that you have feelings for me?”
“What?” Rafael suddenly realized either you were wrong, or he was sticking to denial. Either way, he was probably busted.
“I bought you that briefcase because I want you to like me as a COLLEAGUE, Barba. Do you know what kind of clout you get in our field by being friends with the ADA? And-- And nothing I do ever seems to be good enough, I was afraid you’d never...accept me, unless I…”
“Bribed me?” Rafael asked softly.
“I--I don’t know, I--”
“Well,” Sonny shrugged uncomfortably. “When you say it like that it sounds dirty,”
“Right,” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“....But why, in the fuck--” Sonny crossed his arms now. “Would you ever accuse me of--- of that?!”
“Is it because you have feelings for me and you were hoping I felt the same way but it freaked you out when I made some ‘declaration of love’ in front of all of your work buddies?”
“WHAT?!” Rafael practically screamed. “Absolutely not--”
“I’m just gonna ask you one time, straight out,” Sonny approached Rafael, his stature over him becoming more obvious the closer he got to the ADA.
“Then why? Have I seriously given you an impression that I-- want your cannoli?” He tried to find an appropriate word. And he was genuinely asking, he had made damn sure not to act that way for so long, there was no way he had fucked that up.
“Uh...yes, yes you have,” Rafael tried to bluff. He had no idea how this situation had flipped, or if it was better for Sonny to think he had feelings for him, and not his baby cousin.
“That’s bullshit,” Sonny shook his head with a sarcastic laugh. “I have made damn sure--” He glanced at you again, he knew that look. That was the same look you had when you had broken his mom’s favorite vase and had blamed it on the dog.
“Damn sure what?” Rafael quickly tried to distract him.
“Damn sure you didn’t think that,” He answered hazily, thoughts filling his mind.
“Because you do,” Rafael tried to keep defensive.
“....This isn’t about me, this is about you,” Sonny’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he was quickly becoming aware of the glances you at Rafael were sharing.
“Ohh no I think it’s about--”
“WHY would you accuse me of trying to...seduce you?!” Sonny cut him off.
“Does that sound like something I would do, whether it was true or not?”
“So it IS--”
“DAMMIT, Rafael!” Sonny stomped his foot. He was getting bold now as the wheels started turning.
“What?” Rafael laughed like it was ridiculous, looking everywhere but Sonny’s eyes. “When would she even--”
“...Did my cousin say something to you?” His eyes were narrow, he was scowling between the two of you. Fuck. FUCK. Don’t panic. Keep your cool. Don’t move.
“When you followed her just now?” He crossed his arms again.
Whew. Well, thank God. At least that bullet was dodged.
"Was she? Because it seems like telling you was the worst thing she could do!!!" Sonny snapped.
“....She might have said something along those lines,” Rafael glanced at you with apologetic eyes as he threw you under the bus.
“Wha-- are you kidding me?!” You hissed at him, but Sonny was already fuming at you.
“Y/N!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He started to stomp over to you. “You can’t just throw your assumptions at people, because you think your ‘emotionally stunted’ cousin can’t deal with some confusing feelings he has,”
“Uh…”
“Ya can’t just SHOVE someone out of a closet!” He kept yelling, oblivious to the stares he was now getting. “Especially not to my boss!!!”
“Sonny, I--”
“See I knew it!” Rafael clapped his hands together, trying to rescue you after he threw you to the sharks. “I knew you had feelings for me, I didn’t need her to tell me,”
“FINE,” Sonny threw his hands up. “Fine, Rafael. You win, okay?” He struggled with tears forming in his throat. “Yeah, I’ve had some-- weird, feelings about you. For a while,”
You and Rafael just stared at him while he “came out” to an entire restaurant.
“And alright, maybe I went a little overboard with the gift, my bad,” He shrugged. "But that doesn't excuse Y/N for telling you her conspiracy theories!"
"Carisi…" Barba sighed. "She was just trying to help."
"Y'know what YN, would you mind finding somewhere else to crash tonight, i can't really look at you right now," he sighed as he turned and walked awkwardly out of the restaurant.
"Sonny I am so--" you tried to apologize.
"Well you heard the man," He grinned, totally unphased by what just happened.
"I'm sure he'll--" his face went from a soft smile into a horrified expression.
"Are you fucking kidding me Rafael?" You scoffed at him in disbelief.
"Well at least he doesn't suspect anything between us!" He pointed out.
"Yeah just that I'm a horrible outing twat," you rolled your eyes.
"Aw carino," He pulled you into a soft comforting kiss.
"What's wrong?" You asked softly, afraid to turn around.
"How fucking DARE you say that, Barba. I'm not some fucking jealous teenager, although clearly that's your type,"
"Oh my god..." you heard Sonny's voice behind you. "Oh my God!"
You definitely didn't want to turn around now.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Sonny now stormed over to the two of you.
I can't fucking believe you Y/N! What the fuck is this? How did this happen?"
"Sonny I--" You tried to explain,
"And YOU--" He glared at Rafael. "You had the fucking audacity to sit there and start yelling at me for "inappropriate feelings'," he growled.
"Carisi…." Rafael put a hand up.
"What the fuck do you call seducing my baby cousin??" He snarled.
'Look Carisi I know you might be jealous, but--" Before Rafael could finish his sentence, Sonny's fist was hitting his face and he fell to the ground.
"Hey!" You exclaimed.
"This isn't about my feelings, jackass," he went to punch him again but you ran over and tried to pull him off Rafael as a crowd of spectators was forming.
"Which by the way, you have zero worry of those anymore, I'm not into perverts," he spat.
"Sonny!" You gasped. "...the hell is wrong with you?!"
"We're leaving," he instructed you.
"Like hell we are," you went to help Rafael up.
"Sonny, even if you were my dad, I'm a grown woman," you snapped. "You can't drag me out of here like a child,"
"YN," Sonny had that soft, scary, angry tone. "I practically raised you. I'm the closest thing you have to a dad. So when I say we're leaving, we're leaving."
"Either you come with me right now, or I'm disowning you," he threatened.
"Are you fucking kidding me Son?" You laughed at the absurdity of the threat.
"I'll stop paying for your classes at the community college," he threatened.
Well not only did he just threaten your academics but he embarrassed the hell out of you revealing you weren't even in a real college.
"So?" You stood your ground. "Go for it,"
"I'll stop paying your rent," He kept going.
"Well that's--" You started getting nervous.
"I'll stop payments on your car,"
"OKAY," You finally caved. You just wanted to stop revealing what a fucking sad sack you were having him pay for everything, just like a dad.
You looked at Rafael who was standing now, winding his bloody mouth with a handkerchief from a pocket in his suit.
"I'm sorry," you barely whispered with tears in your eyes and throat. The last thing You wanted to do was leave him there but as Sonny so blatantly pointed out, he basically owned you.
You gave him one last long kiss goodbye, to which Sonny made a disgusted scoff.
Rafael gave you a look of pleading, begging you to stay with him while he held onto your hand. You pulled your hand away from him and turned to Sunny
"Alright let's go Son," you said softly trying not to glance back at Rafael.
Sonny nodded triumphantly and walked out of the restaurant with you close behind, leaving Rafael alone.
54 notes · View notes
evans-heaven · 4 years
Text
I'm just....so tired lmao
(If rants aren't your thing then just scroll on by and continue w your life thanks cause this is exactly what that is)
I'm writing this at 2 AM so if it doesn't make sense please forgive me lmao
This isn't a post calling anyone out who simply thinks it may be PR. And this absolutely isn't a post calling out anyone who thinks it may be real. But, after the level of dissection and over analyzing I've been seeing, I figured it was time to open my mouth. Or rather, a new text post lmfao. I'm not saying anything I state here is right or fact, I just have as much of a right as anyone else to state my full on opinion (and it well remain clear that it is an opinion).
It's honestly amazing to me the way a fandom can be *so* divided by some photos. And by amazing I mean completely unsurprising. I've been down this road. Twice in the same fandom. The second time was enough to make me leave. I know how "fake" relationships, or simply paparazzi photos, can cause differing opinions to flood tumblr.
But honestly? With the way some of y'all are reacting to Chris and Lily? Over photos in a park? It almost scares me thinking of the wildfire that would've started if they were anywhere near Shawn and Camila's level. Honestly....yikes 😅
Anyway. Hate to break it to y'all, but we aren't on Chris' team. We don't work for Dailymail or backgrid and we weren't called to hide behind a bush and take some photos. We're outsiders, looking through a phone screen and drawing our own conclusions. Which is fine. But it becomes a problem (for me at least) when those conclusions are stated in a very factual way.
I don't see why backs need to be broken looking at every detail in those photos through a damn microscope. He's wearing a Patriots bandana? Cool. He pulled it down to eat icecream? Well...yeah, otherwise he would've ended up w a pretty dirty bandana. Hes laughing and smiling and laying on the grass with his potential girlfriend? What's the big fucking deal? Why are these simple ass things being picked apart? Why are y'all trying to prove something when we have little to no facts?
This is how I feel: Is it fake? It has the makings of it. Do I want to believe it's real? I already partially do. I'm not jumping through hoops wondering what this potential PR stunt could be for and why it could be happening. I saw those photos and took them for what they were. Two people who seem to be a couple taking a walk and having some ice cream. I didn't dissect their body language like a fucking dead frog. I'm mot looking at that fucking bright ass smile and calling it fake. They look ridiculously happy and cute together because what can you expect when you have two of the sweetest angels in the world in a photo??? I MEAN lmao
Yes, I talked to some people about the possibility of it being PR, as I said I do believe it has the makings of it. But I didn't immediately jump on that bandwagon. Why? Because I don't know shit. And I don't know Chris. And that should be something y'all admit instead of the overdone theorizing.
But, I'm not claiming to be better than anyone bc I understand this. No one who does should. Honestly, considering a few years ago on tumblr, I definitely felt like i knew shit. Like I knew Shawn. And, I didn't. So that current nasty ass PR stunt sank in easier than it did the first time bc I realized, favorite celeb or not, no one is above the industry standards and norms. It doesn't change who they really are, but it can change who we made them out to be. Granted this really is PR, of course. But reverting to this being what it seems on a surface level, without the psycho analyzing, well still don't fucking know. I think that's the only thing I'll admit I (and other people I'm sure) know to be a fact about this whole thing.
Please know I don't want drama, theres enough of that in the fandom rn. I'm just venting my frustrations and feelings on my blog and I'm not asking anyone to agree with me. I just wanna offer a new perspective (okay I got a lil snarky but can u blame me lmao) on what's happening. Sometimes, you just need to take things as they are and admit you're on the outside.
P.S. I'm not really in his fandom, but I think this can apply for Sebastian as well. If we're talking the PR speculation. But! If you insist on ripping into Chris, maybe keep the same energy for Seb bc these situations are very similar lmao.
30 notes · View notes