#ejwritestarlos

[ravens-words]

breathe again

《4x04 Coda》

"TK?" Carlos slurred, and he was instantly on alert, scooting closer to him. Carlos, with a great deal of effort, picked up his head from where it lay on his father's shoulder and looked at him with unfocused eyes.

He put a hand on the back of his neck, supporting him. "I'm here, baby."

"Good," he muttered, letting his head fall back in his hold.

TK pressed a kiss to the top of his head, eyes closed as he breathed him in. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into his hair, letting out a shuddering breath. "I was so worried."

Carlos nodded, and TK felt the movement rather than saw it. "I saw you." TK pulled him close, let his head rest on his chest. They breathed, slow and steady. Together. . "How are you feeling, son?"

Carlos looked up from his phone, smiling softly at his father. He took the offered glass of water, but didn't drink. "Carlos?"

"Hmm?"

Gabriel pursed his lips. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "You were kidnapped by a serial killer," he told him incredulously, his voice shaking just a little, "and you died. You're not fine."

"Then why did you ask, dad?"

He sighed. "I was hoping for the truth."

"The truth is, I'm not fine. I keep seeing them every time I close my eyes, and I keep thinking, if-" he trailed off, biting his lip.

"If?"

"If she hadn't untied me, if you guys had been just one minute late, I'd be dead."

His father looked away, but not before Carlos saw the tears in his eyes. "We weren't," he told him firmly after a few seconds, "and you are very much alive."

"Thanks to you and TK."

His father smiled. "You should have seen him, son," he muttered, "he nearly bit the detective's head off, more than once," he told him, eyes alight with fondness, "he's also the one who saw the connection to Daryl."

Carlos looked down, smiling slightly. "Speaking of TK, where is he?" He asked anxiously.

"In the cafeteria, with Iris. He seems to have taken it well? The news about your marriage."

Carlos nodded. "Too well."

"What's going on, Mijo?"

Carlos wasn't used to this. He never used to talk to his father about his relationships, or things that bothered him for that matter, but- "When Iris didn't sign the divorce papers right away, TK went to talk to her. The day after that, she went missing."

His father sat back in the chair and nodded. "And you thought it was his fault."

He closed his eyes. "I hurt him, and we didn't get the chance to talk about it."

"Carlos," he waited until their eyes met, "that boy loves you, and you love him. As long as that holds true, you can fix anything."

There was a faint knock on the door, and he looked up to see TK standing there, a cup of coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. He looked tired, but happy, and Carlos found himself smiling at the sight of him. His father stood up. "I'm going to go check on your mother." Carlos nodded. "Talk to him," he whispered.

Carlos nodded again.

TK wordlessly handed his father the paper bag as he passed him. Gabriel smiled, squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you, son."

"You're welcome," his fiancé responded. Once his father left, TK came in, and took his place by the bed. He took Carlos' hand in his and lifted it up to his lips. The kiss he placed there was light, but lingering, and Carlos fought back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

TK's confusion was plain on his face as his brows furrowed. "What? Why are you sorry?"

"TK, I-" he stooped, took a breath, tried to figure out where to start. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Iris sooner-"

"Carlos-"

"Let me finish, please, TK," he pleaded with him. TK nodded.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to go talk to her, and I'm sorry that I let you think her going missing was your fault," he blurted out, "God, the way I treated you after-"

"Carlos," he cut him off firmly, "Carlos, baby, none of that matters."

"It does. And you're gonna brush it off now because I almost died and-"

"It doesn't matter," TK exclaimed, chest heaving and eyes glistening, "it doesn't matter, because you didn't almost die, you did die. For two minutes, you were dead and I had to-" his breath hitched, "I had to-"

"TK," he said softly, soothingly, extending a hand out to him, "come here."

He put his shaking hand in Carlos' and Carlos gripped it tight, used it to pull him closer. "Come here."

TK sat on the edge of the bed, let Carlos tug him into him, and TK all but collapsed into his arms. Carlos rocked them gently, one hand around TK's shoulders, the other running through his hair. “I love you.”

The first sob took him by surprise, but he only tightened his hold on him. TK stiffened, obviously trying to hold back the tears, so Carlos gently pushed him away, just far enough so he could look at him. "TK," he said calmly, heart breaking at the sight of his red rimmed green eyes, "baby?"

"Yeah," he managed to say.

"It's okay," he said simply, holding his face between his hands. He screwed his eyes shut tightly, and Carlos pulled him back into his arms, pressing kisses to his neck, to the side of his face, to his hair. "Breathe," Carlos whispered, again and again.

So TK did, and Carlos breathed with him.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #ejwritestarlos #911 ls spoilers

[ravens-words]

Hi hello it's meee 😇 can i plss have prompt 40. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” for tarlos pls, i have no idea in terms of plot and trust you completely so whatever you come up with I'm already in love with thankssss bestie 🧡

Here you go, bestie-

"Race you to the top?" Carlos stares at his husband like he's grown a second head. "What? It'll be fun!" "Fun?" Carlos asks,  incredulous. "TK, that-" he points at the steep path, "-is not fun, it's torture." TK scoffs. "You just don't want to lose." Carlos raises an eyebrow, feels his hackles rising. "Excuse me, I'm not gonna lose." TK walks closer, stands nose to nose with him, and Carlos can't help but draw him close, pressing a fast, bruising kiss to his soft lips. TK humms, getting lost in the kiss. Carlos takes advantage of that. He pulls away, and in the next second, he's running up the hill. "Hey!" He hears TK protest as a laugh escapes him, "cheater." Carlos smiles, heart beating frantically in his chest. He feels alive. . "-ow." "Sit still," Carlos admonishes him as he gently examins his ankle. He winces at the bruising that's already starting to form. "This is your fault," TK tells him playfully. Carlos' jaw drops. "How is it my fault?!" "You cheated!" "You said you wanted to race in the first place." "You're just bitter I won." "And this-" he points at his ankle, "is what you get for gloating." . "Let me carry you," he offers for the upteenth time, hands hovering around TK's body as he walks sideways. TK just glares at him, though there's no real heat in it. "TK-" "No," he answers, the words final. "We don't want to end up with both of us laid up in bed for the rest of this trip." Carlos humms, wraps his arms fully around TK. "That doesn't sound so bad," he mutters. TK laughs, kisses him. "Let me carry you?" TK rolls his eyes. "No." “I love you," he whispers in his ear, then continues, "you enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” . It takes another five minutes, and nearly face planting, for TK to agree to Carlos carrying him. "When you said you wanted to carry me, I did not expect this," TK says, breath fanning across Carlos' neck and making him shiver. TK is spurred on by this, so in the next second, Carlos feels him place a feather light kiss on his shoulder. He tightens his hold on TK's thighs. "Stop that." Another kiss, this one just behind the shell of his ear. "Hmmm?" "TK." The scrape of TK's teeth against the underside of his jaw has him stopping to a halt. Gently, he lets go of one of TK's legs, then the other, turns around. Once he's sure his husband is steady, he leans down and kisses him, hard and unyielding. TK gives as good as he gets, and Carlos hauls him up into his arms, holding him tightly.  "You're a menace," Carlos mutters against his lips. TK's grin is smug. Carlos kisses it away before he can get a word out.

#i'm feeling like writing a couple tarlos drabbles #expect a couple more (i hope) #tarlos fic #ejwritestarlos #ejsdrabbles #not on ao3

[ravens-words]

Commiseration Tuesday

With AO3 temporarily down, lots of us are sad at not being able to read when we wanted to! With that in mind, I’m taking the opportunity to invite you guys to share a little something from a WIP to keep us going through the downtime! Preferably something we haven’t shared before, but whatever works for you!

Such a wonderful idea, thanks for tagging me @bonheur-cafe @noxsoulmate, love you both 🤍

This is from the Tarlos Zombie AU, which is coming along slowly. I hope you like it!

There's a distant static wave of sound that pulls him back into consciousness. He's still not fully capable of controlling his limbs, or his eyes, so he stays still in hopes of figuring out what's happening. Seconds later, there a rough tap on his cheek, a loud voice calling his name.  "-arlos?" His heart pounds in his ears, and he clumsily lifts his hands up to them, pressing tiggtly as if that will muffle the sounds. "Hey-" there's that sound again, a little familiar, and a little too loud. "- Carlos?!"  There are hands on him, now. TK? No, he thinks immediately; the hands aren't rough, but they're not gentle, either. TK's hands are always gentle. TK. Five men. Guns. A knife in his gut. TK, screaming at them, screaming for him. TK being dragged away from Carlos' outstreched hands. He opens his eyes immediatel, and the first thing he sees when his vision clears is a clear blue sky, then- "There you go," Judd says, smiling broadly, "had me worried there for a second." TK. Carlos bolts upright, the man's name on his lips. He chokes on it though, as white hot, piercing pain steals his breath. He looks down, sees the white bandage Judd's pressing to his abdomen. "-easy. Easy, brother, you're hurt." Yeah, no shit. Judd snorts as he helps him lay back down, and Carlos realizes he said it out loud. Carlos looks up at the sky, tries to ignore the pain as Judd does as best as he can stitchig the stab wound in his side. He closes his eyes and TK's face, tight with pain and fear- brows furrowed, eyes wide, mouth open in a silent scream. He opens his eyes, stares at the sky. He keeps his eyes open, doesn't so much as blink this time. . Judd says he should rest. Carlos scoffs and struggles up to his feet. Judd's there, hands hovering at his side to support him if he needs it. "I'm going after him, Judd. With or without you." Judd stares at him. "You're hurt, man. Can barely stand on your own. How do you plan on gettin' him out of wherever they took him?" He shakes his head. "I'll figure it out. I just have to find him first." "Carlos-" "Judd, stop," he snaps. What if it was Grace? he wants to ask but bites his tongue to keep the words in. It's not- he shouldn't compare a ten year relationship to whatever he had with TK for- what? Two days? Maybe even less than that. He shouldn't. It doesn't to have feelings for someone he met less than two days ago. And yet- Carlos exhales, his chest heaves and he sways, dangerously close to collapsing. He would have fallen in a heap on the concrete if Judd didn't catch him, one hand at his elbow and the other on his waist, steadying him. And yet, he thinks, ever since he woke up, it's felt like a part of him is missing, like whoever has taken TK has taken a part of Carlos' heart with them. Judd stares at him, as if he's a puzzle he thinks he can solve and Carlos looks away, jaw clenched. "Okay," Judd says eventually, "let's go find your man." "He's not my-" he attempts to protest weakly, but Judd's not really listening anymore, collecting their supplies off the street and throwing them in the trunk. Judd helps him into the passanger seat, then moves around to the driver's seat. They share a look, full of understanding, and Carlos breathes out. "We're gonna find him." Carlos nods. . They're on the road for about half an hour when it occurs to him to ask Judd how he knows where to go. Judd's hands tighten around the steering wheel. It takes him a minute to answer. "Judd?" "We have a tracker on him." His heart sinks. "And on me. That's how you knew where to find me."

Tagging: @chaotictarlos @tkstrrand @alrightbuckaroo @lambourngb @honestlydarkprincess @sapphire11 @rangergurlgleek1211 @itshoneywhatever

#ejtaggames #tarlos fic #tarlos #ejwritestarlos #ejswip

[ravens-words]

A lil snippet from a Tarlos fic I'm working on:

On the screen, TK walked out of the church door calmly. He wasn't in a hurry, he wasn't a mess. The only thing that gave away any type of emotion was the clenching and unclenching of his fists. Carlos played back the footage once, then another two times before he admitted defeat. Everyone was waiting for him outside the door, and he was thankful when they didn't speak. "Show me the room he was in?" . When Iris first disappeared, years ago, Carlos had made excuses. He refused to believe she would leave them just like that, and when he found out about her illness, he blamed that. It made him feel better, made him feel less guilty. This wasn't the case with TK. There was no illness to hide behind, and about a million of signs to point to this moment. In the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He'd walked out of the church alone. He'd left him a note. There was no room for pretending- TK had left him. . Mateo, Marjan, Nancy and Paul were waiting for him outside the room. "Carlos," Marjan started, but he just shook his head. "I need- I can't be here right now guys." "Do you want us to come with you?" He shook his head again. "I'll be fine on my own." "Carlos-" "He wouldn't leave you," Judd said, stepping closer and into the small corridor. Carlos scoffed. "Listen, man- he wanted to marry you more than anything. Wouldn't shut up about it. It doesn't make sense that would just-" "What, leave?" He interrupted him, "because that's exactly what he did, Judd." Carlos looked away. "I watched him walk out of here, on his own. It might not make any sense, but there's no other explanation here- he left me." .

#tarlos #tarlos fic #this is the kidnapped TK fic #like i would ever have TK leave Carlos pfft #ejwritestarlos #ejswip

[ravens-words]

today and every day

4x08 Coda in which our boys check in with each other.

Carlos expects to find TK waiting for him on the couch, like he usually does when Carlos is out late, but to his surprise, he's not there. He locks up, makes sure all the lights are turned off, then heads to their bedroom, where TK is curled up under the covers and sound asleep. He takes a moment to watch him, but can't indulge himself for more than s few seconds, because TK, freakishly light sleeper that he is, wakes up right then. "Carlos?" he calls out hoarsely, blinking sleep from his eyes and propping himself up on his elbow.

"Yeah, babe," he answers, smiling when TK's hand flops in his direction. 

"Why're you all the way over there?" He mutters, squinting one eye open.

Carlos grins, walks over to the bed and crawls in beside him, not bothering to change. TK wrapped himself around him immediately. "Good talk?"

He turns his head to the side, presses a kiss to TK's forehead. "Yeah, it was."

"Good," he mumbles, voice already fading.

"Hey, TK?"

"Hmmm."

Carlos lays a hand on his cheek, "can you wake up for me, just a second?"

He opens his eyes immediately, nodding. "What's up, babe?"

"You're still excited, right? For the wedding?"

TK's eyes, which have been drooping for the past few seconds, fly open and he sits up. There's an adorable frown right in between his brows, and Carlos leans forward and kisses it away.

TK's smiling at him when he pulls away, that soft ‘I'm in love’ smile that never fails to make his heart skip a beat. "Carlos, of course I'm still excited," he reassures him.

"Are you sure?"

The frown is back. "Hey, talk to me- what brought this on?"

"I don't know, you seemed more excited about the wedding before."

"Before dad butted in and became a dadzilla, you mean?" he jokes, hands finding Carlos'.

He shakes his head. "Before you found out about Iris, and I got kidnapped."

TK's eyes soften. "Carlos," he sighs. His hands find their way to either side of his neck, and he presses his lips to Carlos’ in a soft kiss. "Baby, almost losing you just made me realize that all I want is to marry you. It doesn't matter to me what we're wearing, what type of cake we're eating or what flowers are used for the centrepieces.”

He pulls away, raises an eyebrow. TK rolls his eyes. "Fine, I do care a little bit, but- like I said, as long as the day ends with us married, I won't care about anything else."

Carlos scoots closer, puts his legs on either side of TK's hips so he's all but sitting in his lap, and kisses him. It's meant to be a soft, sweet kiss, but that changes very quickly.

TK's hands find their way under his shirt, and the scrap of his nails against Carlos' back make him shiver. They both move closer at the same time, never breaking the kiss that has turned hungry. Carlos pushes TK back, isn't exactly gentle about it, and TK gets this gleam in his eyes that tells Carlos he likes it.

He takes a moment to look at him, eyes bright and happy, mouth pulled into a beautiful smile, hair a mess, and he genuinely can't believe his luck.

TK yanks him down impatiently, wraps his arm around Carlos' neck and kisses him thoroughly.

"Hey," he mumbles against TK's lips, "how mad do you think our parents will be if we eloped?"

#tarlos fic #ejwritestarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes

[ravens-words]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @liminalmemories21 🤍 I have too many WIPs, so i'm sharing snippets from one fic for each fandom lol.

Buddie- Zombie AU

Eddie holds his breath, watches as the man startles at the sight of Chris by his side, then he crouches down to his height, smiles, big and soft and too beautiful for this ugly world they live in and- Eddie is definitely in trouble. Christopher leans closer to the man, and Buck seems to be listening intently, then speaks. He's obviously enthusiastic, gesturing widely with his hands as he speaks. Christopher (and Eddie) is mesmerized.

"How'd you find us?" Maddie asks, eyes squeezed shut. Eddie shakes himself out of the trance.

"I didn't," he tells her, cracks a small smile, "your brother and I just happened to be robbing the same convince store at the same time."

Tarlos- Social Worker AU (this isn't smut, but it IS a makeout lol)

The first time he kissed TK, Carlos was drunk on love and not much else.

It was probably too soon, but somehow, in the span of a month, he'd fallen in love, and it was with a man who seemed to have no interest in a relationship.

"Hey, hey, slow down," he laughed as TK ripped open his shirt, buttons flying everywhere, and wasted no time in kissing his neck, down his chest, and lower still.

Hangster (Fake Dating AU)

"So? Did she give you the shovel talk?" "She did." "Did she ask about the wedding?" "No." "When is the wedding?" Bradley stares at him. "What?" "Do you want to get fake married, too?" Jake just grins.

Tagging (even tho it's a little late): @tkstrrand @bonheur-cafe @honestlydarkprincess @sapphire11 @swiftiebuckleys @lambourngb @noxsoulmate @chaotictarlos @lilythesilly

#buddie #tarlos #hangster #ejwritesbuddie #ejwriteshangster #ejwritestarlos #ejswip

[ravens-words]

eyes wide shut

I can't do it, I really tried. I love you with all my heart, I just can't marry you, Carlos. I'm sorry.

When Carlos pictured his wedding day, he saw vows whispered in hushed tones, misty eyes and bright smiles. He saw himself dancing with the man he loved, surrounded by the most important people in their lives, and it always ended with him and TK, in their own bed, in their own home, intertwined with a newfound wealth of love between them.

He never thought he would be here; sitting at the steps of the altar, holding a small piece of paper and waiting for someone that's not coming.

Or, Kidnapped TK, ruined wedding, happy ending.

Read on AO3

#tarlos fic #tarlos #ejwritestarlos #bthb #tk strand #carlos reyes

[ravens-words]

eyes wide shut, part 1 of 2

AKA, the kidnapped TK fic.

For this prompt "Hey EJ! For the bthb, 'I have your loved one' + Tarlos." By @de-ligts. Hope you enjoy it, Liz.

Oh, and... I'm sorry?

I can't do it, I really tried.

I love you with all my heart, I just can't marry you, Carlos.

I'm sorry.

When Carlos pictured his wedding day, he saw vows whispered in hushed tones, misty eyes and bright smiles. He saw himself dancing with the man he loved, surrounded by the most important people in their lives, and it always ended with him and TK, in their own bed, in their own home, intertwined with a newfound wealth of love between them.

He never thought he would be here; sitting at the steps of the altar, holding a small piece of paper and waiting for someone that's not coming.

I can't do it, I really tried.

I love you with all my heart, I just can't marry you, Carlos.

I'm sorry.

It's unmistakably TK's handwriting, neat and careful as it always was, though a bit shaky. He read it again, and again. He folded it in half, closed his eyes, then unfolded it. The words didn't change. He knew they wouldn't. A part of him, as silly and stupid as it was, still hoped they would.

The noises all around him were muffled, like white noise, annoying but distant. Someone squeezed his shoulder, called out his name, but he couldn't take his eyes off the words that had turned this day from one of the best in his life, to the worst.

 

.

 

When he eventually mustered the strength to stand up, he almost fell right back on his ass, he was so dizzy. Instead of falling though, hands caught him, steadied him. "Carlos?" That was his father.

"What?"

Barely concealed concern was written all over his father's face. "What's happening, son?"

He looked from his father's face, to his mother's, to Owen's. "He's gone."

.

On the screen, TK walked out of the room, and then the church, calmly. He wasn't in a hurry, he wasn't a mess. The only thing that gave away any type of emotion was the clenching and unclenching of his fists.

Carlos played back the footage once, then another two times before he admitted defeat.

Everyone was waiting for him outside the door, and he was thankful when they didn't speak.

"Show me the room he was in?"

.

When Iris first disappeared, years ago, Carlos had made excuses. He refused to believe she would leave them just like that, and when he found out about her illness, he blamed that. It made him feel better, made him feel less guilty.

That wasn't the case with TK.

There was no illness to hide behind, and about a million of signs to point to this moment.

In the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He'd walked out of the church alone. He'd left him a note.

There was no room for pretending- TK had left him.

.

Mateo, Marjan, Nancy and Paul were waiting for him outside the room.

"Carlos," Marjan started, but he just shook his head.

"I need- I can't be here right now guys."

"Do you want us to come with you?"

He shook his head again. "I'll be fine on my own."

"Carlos-"

"He wouldn't leave you," Judd said, stepping closer and into the small corridor.

Carlos scoffed.

"Listen, man- he wanted to marry you more than anything. Wouldn't shut up about it. It doesn't make sense that would just-"

"What, leave?" He interrupted him, "because that's exactly what he did, Judd." Carlos looked away. "I watched him walk out of here, on his own. It might not make any sense, but there's no other explanation here. It's over."

.

 

Carlos woke up to someone knocking on his door, and was fully prepared to ignore it. That was, until-

"Carlos, I have your spare key and if you don't open up in the next ten seconds, I will use it."

He groaned but managed to drag himself out of bed.

When he opened the door, the sight of Grace holding a smiling Charlie greeted him, and he felt his lips lift up in a fleeting smile. "Come on in, you two."

.

"How are you holding up?"

Carlos paused in his game of peek-a-boo with Charlie to look at Grace, and just shrugged.

"Have you heard anything from him?"

"Nope. His phone's off, couldn't track it, and he hasn't reached out."

"You really think TK walked out on you?"

"No," he admitted softly, "it doesn't make any sense to me, but- there's no other explanation, Grace. I saw him leave with my own two eyes."

"And-?" she promoted, quirking an eyebrow questioningly.

"And, I don't blame him for leaving," he blurted out, looking down.

She frowned.  "Well what do you mean by that, Carlos?"

"It all happened too fast. I mean, think about it- he finds out I'm married, then Iris doesn't sign the divorce papers, then she goes missing and I don't react very well, then I go missing and he thinks he's gonna lose me forever. And seven weeks after that, we have to get married. You have to admit it's a lot."

She seemed to mull it over for a few seconds then she reached out to take his hand. "It is a lot, but- I have faith in you two. He'll come back to you, Carlos, and you'll work through it."

"Yeah," he whispered, half hopeful, half doubtful.

"Hey," she squeezed his hand, "it's gonna be okay."

.

 

Two days went by without hearing anything from TK. Owen called a few times, but Carlos couldn't get himself to answer any of those calls, so when he came knocking, it wasn't actually a surprise.

The older man hugged him as soon as the door opened, and Carlos sank into the embrace.

"How are you doing, kiddo?"

"I'm good," was his answer, which was a total lie.

The coffee was ready by the time they sat down at the table, so he busied himself with that to buy himself some time.

"Something doesn't feel right, Carlos," he mutters, hands wrapped around the warm mug.

"I know."

"He's a lot of things, but- my boy isn't a runner, especially not when it comes to the people he loves."

Hearing the words was an unimaginable relief. "I know."

Owen's shoulders slumped in relief. "So, what are we gonna do about it, then?"

.

 

They went back to the church.

The room TK had been in was cleaned, so even if there was any kind of evidence it was long gone by now, so Carlos looked in the surrounding area.

Naturally, there was nothing.

His phone rang, and he answered without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

There was no answer, no sound.

"Hello?" Nothing. "If you don't answer, I'm hanging up." A quick breath, then the dial tone.

He looked down at his phone, frowning. Prank calls weren't exactly uncommon, and there wasn't anything about this particular one that stood out, but Carlos couldn't shake the uneasiness that took a hold of him.

His phone rang again, but this time it was Mitchell. "Hey, Mitch-"

"We got a location on TK's phone," she informed him, but she didn't seem very happy about it.

"Where?"

She rattled off the address. "Thanks, I owe you one."

"No problem," was her curt response, "I'll meet you there."

.

 

They tracked the phone to a park, and specifically, to a group of teenagers who were playing a game of soccer. Carlos flashed his badge, asked them for a little bit of their time, and could tell they were scared shitless. "Can I see your phones?"

They all held them out readily, and Carlos spotted TK's easily. He took it from the boy's hand and asked, "where did you get this one?"

He hesitated, but answered, "some guy came up to us, said he didn't need it anymore since he got a new one. I didn't steal it, I swear."

Carlos' heart sank. "Do you remember what the guy looked like?"

The boy nodded frantically. "Oh, yeah."

Carlos started scrolling through his photos, then stopped and looked at the boy expectantly.

One of the kid's friends nudged him.

"Oh!" he seemed to catch on, "um, he was kinda creepy looking- blonde, really blue eyes. Kinda short, but not that short. Oh, and he had a tattoo- a flower, I think-"

Carlos' phone rang. When he looked down at the screen, he noticed it was the same number who'd called him earlier.

This couldn't be a coincidence.

He answered immediately. "Hello?"

Loud breathing was his only answer.

"Who are you?" He asked calmly, looking around subtly. "You have my fiancé," he said softly, "can you tell me what you want?"

A hitch in their breath, but that was it.

"Do you need my help with something? I'll do anything to get him back," he kept his voice even, reigning in his emotions as best he could. "Hello?"

"Tell me, Officer Reyes, can you turn back time?"

"No, unfortunately, I can't."

The man hummed.

"Is there anything els-"

He hung up. Carlos cursed, turning around in circles hoping against hope to catch a glimpse of something. But there was nothing- hell, he didn't even know what he was searching for.

His phone pinged with a message.

He opened it, hands shaking, to find a blurry picture of what was unmistakably an unconscious TK.

He traced the picture with his thumb, unable to focus on anything but the closed eyes and the trail of blood down his cheek.

"I'm gonna find you," he vowed, "I swear I'm gonna find you."

.

"I know what you're thinking right now," his father tells him, coming to stand beside him. Carlos doesn't respond, keeps staring at the wall. "You can't blame yourself for this, son."

"Sure I can," he said softly. "I should have known something was wrong."

"There was no way you could have."

He shook his head. "There was," he uttered, barely able to hold back his tears. "He was so excited about the wedding, dad. Nervous, too, but-" he laughed wetly, "he couldn't sleep the night before, kept tossing and turning until I held him, and then he just started talking, had all these plans." By now, he'd lost his battle against the tears, and they falling silently. "And now he's out there, somewhere- I don't know if he's okay, if he's in pain," his voice cracked, but he kept going, "I don't even know if he's alive."

"We will find him. Alive."

"You can't know that."

"I know he's a survivor. How many comas has he been in?"

Carlos laughed, he couldn't help it, "three."

His father clapped him on the shoulder, smiled slightly. "See? He can make it through this too."

"You really think so?"

His father's smile softened. "I do. Now," he said, straightening up, "pull yourself together, and let's go save your boy."

.

Owen was uncharacteristically quiet as he sat at Carlos' desk. He refused to go home, and Carlos tried his best to not let the guilt eat him alive.

"Do you have any leads?" Owen asked quietly.

"The kids who had TK's phone are in with a sketch artist. We're hoping they can identify the guy who gave them the phone, and that it's the same person involved in TK's kidnapping."

"Your father said he called you?"

Carlos sighed, rubbed his face with one hand. "Yeah."

"You didn't recognize his voice?"

"Obviously not, Owen," he snapped, "or I wouldn't be here with my thumbs up my ass." He regretted snapping as soon as he saw Owen's face fall, and closed his eyes. "Sorry, I'm just-"

"I get it, kid. You don't have to apologize."

"I do, though," he started, "I should have known something was wrong. I should have looked harder."

Owen shook his head. "No one, and I mean no one in this world, has loved TK the way he deserved, until you came along, Carlos. You did everything you could with what you had."

He stood up, put his hands on his desk and leaned down until their eyes met. "Now find this son of a bitch, and bring my boy home."

Carlos could do nothing more than nod.

.

The man staring back at him looked vaguely familiar, and it frustrated Carlos to no end. Because he was failing TK, again.

"Who are you?" He muttered as he stared at the picture.

"Leonard Hayes," Mitchell answered, coming to stand beside him.

Carlos frowned. "Hayes, as in Lora Hayes' husband?"

Mitchell nodded.

"Why would he take TK, what-"

"Lora was killed in a prison riot three weeks ago. Leonard was there visiting her, saw the whole thing."

Carlos collapsed back into his chair. "And he blames me because I put her there."

.

The search for Hayes was a series of dead ends that only managed to heighten Carlos' fear little by little, until eventually, it paralyzed him. Because there was nothing else he could do. Absolutely nothing.

His phone rang, but he ignored it, staring at the picture of TK's smiling face. He wondered if he would ever get to see him smile like that again.

His phone rang again.

It was the number Hayes had called from before. He answered on the second ring. "Hayes?"

"Baby?"

Carlos' breath stuttered in his chest. He wondered if this was a dream.

"Carlos?"

He signaled frenetically for Mitchell to come over, "I'm here, baby, I'm here."

"I don't think I have a lot of time. I'm going to send you the location right now."

Carlos laughed. "Okay, yeah, do that."

"Get the team ready, we have a location," he told Mitchell, who nodded. Turning his attention back to his fiancé, he asked "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he uttered.

That wasn't very convincing, but he let it slide. "How'd you get the phone?"

"I may have hit him with a baseball bat," he told him, "he's gonna be pissed- by the way, who is this guy?"

"It's a long story," he says, "I'll tell you when I see you?"

"Okay. I can't believe I missed our wedding," he grumbled, startling a laugh out of Carlos.

"Hey-"

"Shit, he's waking up, gotta go," he said in a rush. "Love you."

Carlos’ heart nearly gave out at the fear he heard in TK's voice, but he managed to keep his voice steady when he said it back. "I love you, too."

.

When they got there, the house TK was being held in was dark. They moved silently inside, and with every empty room they entered, Carlos' heart sank down to his toes.

"There's a basement," Officer Thompson called out, and Carlos nodded at him. He entered first, cautiously, and slowly went down the stairs. And that was when he saw him.

He abandoned all cautiousness and all but ran to him. He was alive. Hurt, bruised and exhausted, but alive.

Carlos slid down to his knees in front of him, cutting the ropes around his feet first, then his arms. TK fell into him, holding on tightly.

Carlos wrapped him in his arms, shielding him from the cold as he shivered. "I've got you," he murmured, pressing sweet, fleeting kisses to his forehead and his hair, "I've got you."

"You're here," TK whispered brokenly against the skin of his neck, where he'd tucked his face.

"I'm here."

.

TK was in the ambulance, getting checked out by Tommy and Nancy, with Owen fussing over him from two feet away. Carlos held his hand throughout it all, relieved beyond measures. That was when he got the call.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Officer Reyes."

"Hayes," he answered calmly, "where are you?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Carlos swallowed a retort. "I was hoping we can talk."

"Nah, we're past talking at this point, wouldn't you agree?"

He shook his head. "I wouldn't, no."

The man hummed. "Do you know what it's like to watch the love of your life die right in front of you, Officer Reyes?"

“Carlos?”

He closed his eyes, then opened them and turned to watch TK. His fiancé had managed to get away from his team and was making his way over to him.  He was smiling.

“Officer?”

Carlos frowned. Something didn't feel right. “Why are you calling me now, huh, Hayes?"

"Answer me," the man demanded, "do you know what it's like to watch the love of your life die right in front of you?"

"No," he breathed out, "I don't."

"Well," Hayes laughed, "you're about to."

It happened in an instant.

The first shot his TK in the chest, stopping him in his tracks. Carlos screamed TK's name, telling him to get down as he ran towards him. The confusion on his fiancé’s face was soon replaced by pain as he staggered and looked down. One, two, three shots.

"TK!" Carlos cried out as he ran faster than he ever had before. But he was too late.

TK fell to his knees.

Carlos' world narrowed down to that one moment. One moment, when their eyes met, when TK smiled at him. The one moment before TK collapsed, and Carlos' world collapsed right alongside him.

#tarlos #ejwritestarlos #tarlos fic #the one in which i ruin their wedding

[ravens-words]

harbor (on AO3)

Four times Carlos didn't think he was ready to have a kid, and the one time he thought he could be.

AN: thank you, @tkstrrand for reading this over. I love you, bestie 💛

🥀

"Carlos!"

"Hey, Cami."

"Carlitos, your nephew demands a visit."

Carlos grins, holds the phone between his cheek and his shoulder and washes his hands. "Perfect timing, lunch's about done, I'll bring some for you guys?"

"Or," she drew out, "we can come over to yours? We've been cooped up in the house for a while."

"Sure, come on over."

.

An hour later, his door bell rings, followed by three clumsy knocks. Carlos hurries over to the door, greets his sister and her kids with a big smile.

"Tio!"

He crouches down just in time to catch the little boy. "Hi, Andi," he says, squeezes his tight. Dani and Sofia join in on the hug, and hi sister watches amusedly as he carries all three kids in his arms. He huffs and puffs and makes a show of wincing as he gets up. "Have you gotten bigger since I saw you last?!"

Sofia giggles. "Nope."

Dani shoves her sister's face away from hers, Sofi shoves her back, and Carlos just barely manages to steady them before he put them down.

"Girls," Cami says firmly, and Dani huffs. Her cheeks are flushed, and she sways on the spot when he puts them down. Carlos looks at his sister, brows furrowed. "She sick?"

She shrugs helplessly, looking haggard. "She says she's fine, but I think she might be coming down with something."

Carlos hums, leans down to kiss the little girl's forehead. "She's kinda warm."

Cami's shoulders slump. "Damn it. Come here, honey, let's get you to the couch, huh?"

He hugs her before she follows her mother, and manages to distract the other two until Cami comes back.

His phone buzzes with a text from TK. He smiles when he opens it.

I'm heading home, do we need anything from the grocery store?

Maybe some snacks for the kids?

Whose kids?

Carlos smiles. Cami's.

"Cami?" He calls out.

"Yeah?"

"Do you need anything for Dani? TK's going to the store before he comes home."

"Actually, yeah- some children's Tylenol, or Ibuprofen. I grabbed the nearly empty one on my way out."

"All right, I'll let him know."

Got it. Be there in fifteen.

Okay, love you. Drive safe.

Love you.

.

TK comes in just as the chaos starts.

Sofi and Andi are fighting over the last of the juice, his sister is trying and failing to get her daughter to drink some water, and Carlos is helplessly running back and forth between them.

His shoulders slump in relief when he hears TK's voice.

"Hi, everyone!" TK's eyes widen at the scene he's met with. "Whoa," he says quietly, then seems to shake it off. He puts the groceries on the counter, except for the smallest bag which he takes over to the couch.

He crouches beside Cami, runs his hand through Dani's hair to feel her temperature as he hands over the medicine to his sister, who kisses his cheek gratefully.

Carlos watches his husband, the way he's so comfortable around his sick niece, his gentle smile, the comfort he exudes and thinks, he'd make an amazing father.

The thought makes him tense all over, and he immediately tries to put a stop to that train of thought. Luckily, his niece and nephew make it easy for him when their fight escalates to Andi almost throwing a remote at Sofia's head.

His sister comes to stand beside him, nudges him in the side. "I know that face," she mutters, "what's going on in that big head, huh?"

"Nothing."

She gives him a skeptical look. "I'm sorry, was I supposed to believe that?"

He rolls his eyes. "It's just-" he looks back at TK, "look at him- he's-"

Her brows furrow, and she looks between him and TK. Then her face clears. "Carlitos," she says softly. Her face softens with sympathy and he purses his lips.

"Mami told you, didn't she?"

She shrugs, but doesn't deny it.

Carlos rolls his eyes again.

She punches his arm, gently. "Don't be mad at her, you know she can't keep anything from me."

He chuckles, shakes his head. "I know." He wraps his arm around her shoulder, hugs her tight.

They both watch as TK and Dani talk quietly, watching the TV. Dani crawls closer to him, burrowing into his arms.

Cami pats his chest. "If you chose to have kids, Carlitos, I know you'll be an amazing father. But promise me you won't do it for him. That you'll only do it when you're absolutely ready."

The vice around his heart loosens a little bit.

"Thank you."

 

🥀🥀

They open the door and stumble in, Carlos first, then TK. They're so tired they can barely keep their eyes open.

"Oh my God," Carlos mutters as he leans against the door, "I can hear myself think."

TK grins tiredly. "Yeah."

They barely manage to change and brush their teeth before they're falling into bed, arms and legs tangled together.

"Can't believe Freddie is already two."

TK hums.

"I love the kids, but I have never been happier to come to an empty house as I am right now," he chuckles.

TK is silent for a beat, then he smiles up at Carlos- small and a little sad, though he's trying to cover it up, "yeah,” he says, then yawns, “goodnight, babe." He leans up, kisses him deeply, then settles down in his arms, and Carlos wraps his around his shoulders, holding him close.

He's struck a nerve. As accidental as it may be, he's hurt TK.

He tries to imagine it, one or two kids in running around in the loft, wrangling them home after a night like tonight while they're hopped up on sugar, and as always, the thought fills him with dread.

It's too much responsibility. There's no guarantee he'll be good at it.

He wishes he can be as sure as TK, wishes he can say with certainty that he wants the good and the bad that will come with having a child, but he's not there yet and he hates it.

"Stop it," TK mutters.

He looks down at him, is surprised his eyes are closed. "Stop what?"

"Thinking," is his quiet answer, "It's okay, I promise."

Carlos lets out a breath, smiles. "Hey, TK?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

TK presses a kiss to his chest. "Love you, too. Now, please, go to sleep."

.

 

🥀🥀🥀

"TK?"

His husband gets up immediately, meets him in the middle. Carlos hugs him tightly, brushes a kiss to his forehead.

TK shudders, stays hidden in his arms for a few seconds, then pulls away, visibly trying to pull himself together.

"What happened?"

"It was bad," he whispers. "He's still in surgery. The doctors say his chances are-"

"Grace? Grace, Where's my dad?"

He and TK both turn to see Wyatt enter the waiting room, a wild look in his eyes. Carlos' heart hurts for the young man, who's now crying in Grace's arms. Grace isn't doing much better, her eyes closed tightly, tears running down her cheeks. She's muttering words of comfort that probably don't do much to help.

The atmosphere in the waiting room is suffocating.

.

They wait, and they wait.

Tommy, Nancy and TK have a shift to work so they leave after a few hours, along with Marjan, Mateo and Paul. Owen and Carlos stay with Grace and Wyatt, though.

Carlos gets up to get them coffee, and Owen joins him wordlessly. "You okay, Carlos?"

"Yeah, just worried about Judd."

Owen nods.

He's curious, though- "Why do you ask?"

"You just seem- like you have a lot on your mind. Thought you might want to talk."

"I've just been where Grace is, and where Wyatt is- and I wish I can do something to make it easier, you know?"

"You're doing it," he tells him. "Judd will pull through."

Carlos nods.

They take the coffee up, and the four of them drink it in silence.

Grace's phone rings, she answers on the third ring. "Hey, mama- what? But I thought you were off today- well, where am I supposed to keep her?" She huffs, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes, "okay, can you drop her off at the hospital?- okay, I'll see you soon."

.

He goes down with her to get Charlie, and the little girl immediately latches onto him. Grace smiles gratefully and runs her hand down daughter's back. "Hi, sweetheart." He receives a big smile and can't help but grin back. "How are you feeling, miss Charlie?"

She babbles back at him, and when he goes to look at Grace, he's startled to see her crying silently. "Grace-"

She holds up a hand, wipes her tears with the other and Grace's herself. "I'm fine."

"You're not. And it's okay."

"It's not," she utters, "I can't fall apart now, not when they need me to be strong."

She puts on a big smile and takes her daughter's hand, presses a kiss to it. Charlie extends her hands with a quiet, "mama," and Grace takes her immediately, hugs her tight. She walks away, but Carlos stays rooted to the spot.

"Carlos, you coming?"

"In a minute," he manages to say, before he bolts out of the hospital doors.

.

Tommy finds him in the gardens a minute later, approaches him cautiously. "Hey, Carlos."

"Tommy," he's surprised to see her, "what are you doing here?"

"We're dropping a patient off, and it's close to our lunch break now, so I thought we might come visit."

He looks around behind her and she smiles as she sits beside him. "He's finishing up some paperwork."

He relaxes back into the wooden bench. "How'd you find me?"

"Saw you running out like a bat outta hell," she tells him, "scared me to death for a second there."

"Sorry."

She waves him off. "You wanna talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?"

"I-" he bites his lip, "don't answer if you don't want to, but- when Charles died, how did you- how were you able to take care of the kids while grieving? I-" he trails off, unable to find the right words to say.

Tommy's silent for a few seconds, and Carlos feels guilty for bringing it up. "Sorry-"

"No, no, don't be," she assures him, "here's the thing, I didn't always manage to put my girls first. I fell apart after my Charles died. I- I love my girls, but sometimes I had to put them first when I couldn't breathe and all I wanted was to be alone. But," she smiles, "they also helped me a lot. There is so much of him in each of them, and in a way, it's like he's still with me. Grief is messy, kids or no kids, and most of the time, it feels like you're doing it wrong, but- you get through it. With help."

She pats his leg twice, and stands up. "I'll send TK your way once he's done."

He nods.

Carlos watches her walk away.

He tries to imagine it, taking care of a kid while waiting for news on his husband, or after he- he shakes his head, can't even entertain the thought.

He thinks back to the last time TK was in the hospital, to the all consuming terror he felt the whole time, and tries to fit a kid in that picture, tries to imagine worrying about feeding them, or where they'd be staying, and- he can't. He can't imagine it. Doesn't think he'd be strong enough to think about anything other than the man he loves in a moment like that.

"Hi, baby."

He breathes in, smiles at TK, who comes to sit beside him. He lets himself be pulled into his husband's warm embrace, closes his eyes. "Any news on Judd?"

He shakes his head. "Still in surgery."

"Are you okay?"

Carlos looks at him, tired green eyes, windswept hair and flushed cheeks, and he's so overwhelmed with how much he loves this man. He leans forward, hands on both TK's cheeks, and kisses him deeply. TK doesn't let him pull away, instead pulling him into a tight hug.

"I'm glad you're here," he whispers into his neck. Warm and safe and alive.

TK kisses his temple, holds him tighter.

 

🥀🥀🥀🥀

"What do you mean, you're not sure you want kids?"

Carlos stiffens, shares a quick look with TK before he looks back at his father. "Exactly that."

TK takes his hand under the table, squeezes it. The conversations around the table suddenly screeches to a halt, and all eyes are  on them. It makes him angry, and it makes him resent his father just a little.

"Gabriel-"

"No, Andrea, just- are you really not going to have children?"

He feels TK stiffen beside him. The anger bubbles up to the surface. "I didn't say that."

His father shakes his head. "Why?"

"What?"

"Why don't you want kids?"

He shakes his head, frustrated. "I said I'm not sure if I want to have them."

"Okay, why?"

"Because I'm terrified I'll be like you," he snaps. The words don't seem to register, not at first. His father is shocked, and hurt, but he covers it up quickly. "Dad-"

His father pushes his chair back abruptly, then stands up and leaves the room.

Carlos stays seated, frozen in shock as what he said catches up to him.

A hand squeezes his. "Babe," TK says, then waits until Carlos looks at him before he continues, "go."

He shakes his head. "What do I even say to him after that?"

Another squeeze. "Tell him the truth. Tell him whatever you need to make peace with it, with him."

He lets out a shuddering breath, nods.

TK pulls him into a chaste kiss just before he gets up, and it gives him the strength he needs to push through.

.

"I'm sorry."

His father drains his glass, pours himself another. Doesn't say a thing. "Dad-"

"I know I wasn't the best father to you. I know I've made plenty of mistakes, but-" he shakes his head, takes a large sip of whiskey and winces at the burn, "I never thought I'd be the reason you didn't want kids."

"Dad, you're not," he rushes to say. At his father's skeptical look, he pushes himself off the wall and walks forward until he reaches the chair opposite his father and sits in it. "Yes, we didn't really connect, or have the best relationship, until a couple of years ago, and yes- that makes me doubt my ability to be a father, but it's not the only thing, dad."

Gabriel nods. "What else?"

He hesitates.

"You obviously haven't spoken about this to anyone, so tell me, what else is there?"

"TK and I both work dangerous jobs," he lists off, "I don't think I want to give up the freedom we have right now. And- I don't know if I have what it takes to be a good father."

"Because of me," his father utters, downing the last of his glass.

"No, dad- because of me."

His father watches him, not saying a word, but then he leans forward, elbows on his knees. "I have never seen you repeat a mistake twice- and that's the kind of father you'll be. You'll make mistakes, but you'll also learn from them and make things right." His father looks down, avoids his eyes. "You'll make a good father."

He swallows. "Thank you, dad, that- it means a lot. I- I'm still not sure it's something I want, but..."

His father hums, a small smile on his lips like he knows something Carlos doesn't.

He stands up, and Carlos does the same.

"Whatever you decide, know that I support you. I know it may be a little late-"

"It's not," he cuts him off, leans forward to wrap his arms around his father's middle, "it's not too late, dad."

+🥀

"You've been quiet tonight."

Carlos tenses, takes his time hanging his jacket on the hook by the door.

"Carlos."

"What, TK?"

"Look at me," he demands, firm but quiet.

Carlos turns around, is met with a look he knows well. His eyes are blazing, his jaw set- he's not letting this go. Carlos' shoulders slump.

"What happened tonight?" TK asks as he walks closer. "You were having a good time, and then just like that, you got quiet, and you-" he stops speaking abruptly, mouth hanging open, "the kids," TK breathes out. "It was the kids."

"TK-"

"What was different about tonight? I've always played with them, I've always lo-"

“Nothing,” Carlos shakes his head, closes his eyes. "Nothing was different. Can we not talk about this tonight? Please?"

TK looks at him, long and hard. There's an unreadable look in his eyes, but he turns around before Carlos can decipher it. "Fine," he mutters, heading for their bedroom. He slides the door open, doesn't close it all the way after he enters.

Carlos hates himself, just a little.

He buys himself time by cleaning the dishes they'd left after lunch. Once that's over, he takes a deep fortifying breath and goes to bed.

His husband isn't asleep, but he's pretending to be, most likely for Carlos' sake.

"TK, can we talk?"

He wordlessly turns around, facing him. "Yeah," he says quietly.

He slides under the covers, scoring closer until there's only an inch between them. "I'm scared," he admits.

TK's face softens. "Of what?"

"Kids; the idea of wanting them."

His bows furrow. "Baby, we don't h- wait, what do you mean? Do you want kids?" There's a hopeful edge to his words that he's obviously trying to smother, but Carlos can hear it loud and clear.

"Tonight, I saw you playing with Charlie and Jonah. I saw the way they looked at you, and- for the first time ever, I thought- I want our kids to look at him like that."

TK's hand squeezes his, his smile lighting up his whole face.

"And when Charlie fell asleep in my arms, I thought, I want this. I want my kid to fall asleep in my arms, and run to me when they're scared or upset. I want them to look at you like you hung the moon and the stars. I- I want you to be a father," he says, out loud, for the first time, "and I want to be a father- and that scares me to death."

TK smiles softly, leans forward to kiss him soft and sweet. When he pulls away, Carlos burrows closer, leaning his forehead on TK's chest. "You know, there's something we can do that's not as permanent as adopting a kid, or surrogacy- and it'll be a way for the both of us to dip our toes in the water, so to speak."

He pulls away to give him a deadpan look. "I don't think getting a dog is the same as having a kid, TK, and they are permanent."

"Not talking about getting a dog."

He frowns.

"We can foster, Carlos. There are a lot of kids who need temporary homes, and we can give it to them."

Carlos' fears ease, just a little bit. He shakes his head, smiles. "You've thought about this," he says, stroking his cheek, letting his thumb rest on the hollow of TK's throat.

TK shrugs. "I had a feeling it wasn't about you not wanting kids, but more along the lines of feeling like you wouldn't be good enough, I guess, so I thought I'd give you options."

He surges forward, kisses him deeply, pressing him into the mattress and only pulling away when they absolutely needed a breath. TK doesn't let him go far, pulls him back in, until every inch of Carlos' body covers his. "Thank you," he whispers against his lips, peppering kisses all over his face.

"I love you," is TK's quiet response.

Carlos kisses him again.

"So, what do you say," TK asks with a smile, hands around Carlos' waist, "you wanna foster a kid with me?"

Carlos smiles, chooses to ignore the twinge of fear and focus on the overwhelming happiness he feels at the thought. "Yes."

"Yeah?" he asks with a beaming smile, "you sure?"

He rolls his eyes playfully. "Just take the yes, TK."

#ejwritestarlos #tarlos #tarlos fic #carlos reyes #tk strand

[ravens-words]

First Ten Lines Challenge

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

Thank you, @bonheur-cafe for the tag!

From the one

"I couldn't find a couch," Buck says as soon as Eddie opens the door.

From harbor

"Carlos!" "Hey, Cami." "Carlitos, your nephew demands a visit."

From Java Blues

Bobby looks down at his watch, tapping his foot impatiently as the seconds pass by and there's still no sign of the team's youngest member. Thirty minutes late, and counting.

From today and every day

Carlos expects to find TK waiting for him on the couch, like he usually does when Carlos is out late, but to his surprise, he's not there. He locks up, makes sure all the lights are turned off, then heads to their bedroom, where TK is curled up under the covers and sound asleep.

From many happy returns

Jake wakes up to a cold, empty bed, and a silent apartment. He blinks at the ceiling, frowns as he tries to remember if Bradley has told him anything about their plans for the day, but comes up empty.

From eyes wide shut

I can't do it, I really tried. I love you with all my heart, I just can't marry you, Carlos. I'm sorry.

From if my heart was a house, you'd be home

Jake wakes up to an excruciating amount of pain, in every inch of his body. When he opens his eyes, the room he's in is dark and gloomy, and the only sound in it is the beeping of the heart monitor. He tries to lift up his head, but it's awkward as hell with the neck collar he has on. 

From I'll hold you longer than forever

Falling in love with Evan Buckley has been the easiest thing Eddie has ever done. Which is probably why it only registers when he sees Buck's limp body hanging from the ladder, completely, terrifyingly still. 

From start anew

Six year old TK sat on the couch in his living room, clad in his firefighter costume and watching the door like a hawk, waiting for his father to come get him so they could go trick or treating.

From been you all along

When Helen shows up at his door, she's crying silently, her nose red and her eyes puffy. She's also holding a sleeping baby to her chest, its head resting on her thin shoulders. Bradley stares at them both, stunned.

Tagging: @honestlydarkprincess @lambourngb @tkstrrand @chaotictarlos @noxsoulmate @liminalmemories21 @lilythesilly

#buddie fic #tarlos fic #hangster fic #ejwriteshangster #ejwritesbuddie #ejwritestarlos #ejtaggames

[ravens-words]

For the prompt request, I know it might be a bit strange and out of universe but I've always wanted to read a Tarlos-ecntric Hanahaki disease fic (if you're up for it of course)!!

Thank you for this!

I tried my best, so I hope you enjoy it!

Carnations

#ejwritestarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #hanahaki disease

[ravens-words]

Wish

Owen and TK talk. 3x18 Coda.

AN: this is one of 5 mini codas I'm gonna be writing for this episode. Hope you enjoy!

Next up- Tommy.

"Hey, dad."

Owen looked up from his phone, grinning at his son as he bounded towards him, a pep in his step that Owen knew from experience meant his son was happy about something. He stood up, opening his arm slightly for a hug, which TK accepted readily. Owen tightened his arms around his son, letting the hug last more than it usually did.

"Hey, TK," he said softly, grinning at his boy as he patted his cheek. "Sit, sit- have you had breakfast?"

"Not yet," he shook his head, "Carlos was still in bed when I left."

Owen raised an eyebrow. "And you couldn't make your own breakfast?"

TK shrugged, smug smile on his lips, "well, what can I say? Carlos' breakfasts ruined cereal and toast for me."

Owen shook his head, but couldn't help but smile. He raised his hand, getting the waiter's attention. They ordered quickly, and once the young man was gone, Owen took a quick, deep breath, and opened his mouth. "I have some news-"

"I have something to tell-"

They both laughed lightly, and Owen was about to tell TK to go first when his son beat him to it. "Is your news about the biopsy?" His son asked hesitantly, fear stark in his eyes.

"Yep," Owen nodded, “It's not cancer, TK. I'm still In remission."

TK slammed his eyes shut in relief, jaw clenched tightly, and when shiny, tear-filled, green eyes opened and settled on his, the breath left Owen's lungs in a rush, and he pushed his chair back quickly. Owen rounded the small table and pulled his son to his feet  hugging him tightly. TK didn't cry, but Owen felt a couple of tears land on his neck, and he tightened his arms around TK's shoulders further.

"I was so scared," TK muttered into his shoulder, "god, I was terrified I'd lose you too, dad."

Owen pulled away. "You won't," he assured him, squeezing his shoulder, then putting his hand on the nape of his neck. "I'm right here, kiddo."

TK's lips spread into a wide, watery grin and when he spoke, the words were quiet and filled with so much emotion that it took his breath away. "I'm so happy you  are, dad," he shuddered, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Hopefully you won't have to find out for a long time."

TK chuckled, and with one last squeeze to his neck, Owen returned to his seat, and TK did the same.

"So," he said, leaning forward, "what's your news?"

TK grinned from ear to ear, happiness radiating off him in waves. "Carlos and I are gonna get married," he blurted out in a rush.

Owen smiled, felt the sting of tears that threatened to fall, then took a deep breath. He leaned forward, putting his hand on TK's forearm. "This is what I wanted for you. This happiness, this certainty- it's all I've ever wanted for you."

TK looked down, no doubt understanding what Owen meant, and he squeezed again. "I didn't mean to bring Alex up, I just- I see how different you are with Carlos and I'm happy you dodged that bullet, that you found the person you deserve to be with. And I'm proud of you, for opening yourself up again, for not giving up on love, for fighting for it."

"Thanks, dad."

Owen just smiled.

#tk strand #tarlos #owen strand #ejwritestarlos #it's 9 AM and I just finished writing it- after a 10 hr shift so apologies for any mistakes #gonna post on AO3 as a whole fic once all five parts are posted #each one stamds alone (kinda) though

[ravens-words]

ooo so i have to tropes/ideas for you: and the first is kind a season 4 speculations where carlos gets buried alive after being knocked out! think chenford season 2 angst and the second is that TK is doing a rescue when something goes wrong! like i read somewhere that he is with the bomb squad so maybe the bomb goes of when he is inside? or maybe something goes wrong when he does the cliff rescue that he supposedly has!

Thank you, nonnie! I love both of these, and though objectively I liked the first one more, I have a kidnapped Carlos/buried alive fic already in the works so I couldn't write it. The second one though 👀

I hope you find this, and I hope you like it, Anon!

PS: I wrote this in maybe one or two hours, as soon as I woke up, so excuse any mistakes I made lol.

flying too close to the ground

"My fiance's in there."

Officer Carlos said it quietly, but it still startled Daniel. He looked back at the man, wanting to make sure he heard right. "What did yo- Hey, whoah!" He lunged after him, managed to put a hand on his arm. It didn't stop him, but it slowed him down enough that he manged to stand in front of him. "What are you doing, huh? You wanna get yourself killed?!"

"Danny," he started, calm in a way that scared Daniel, "move or I will make you move."

Daniel knew full well that he meant it.

He and Carlos met at a scene like this about a year ago, and though Daniel usually steers clear of anyone that's not his team on scenes, he had found himself striking up a conversation with the officer who, like him, seemed to be the only one standing on his own. He wouldn't say they were friends, but there was mutual respect between them, and Daniel liked the guy. He was competent, quiet, and had a good head on his shoulders- he'd have been an asset on the bomb squad, and he'd told him so many times before.

A hand gripped his from where it was clenched in Carlos' shirt uniform, but Daniel just tightened his grip and stood his ground.

"You can't go in there, Carlos."

"The hell I can't," he hissed, shoving backwards, "what if it was Amy in there? Would you be able to stand here and watch?"

If his wife was in there, he'd want to be the first one in the building.

"Listen to me, you are not trained for this. You know the rules- bomb squad only." He gripped his shoulders, looked him in the eyes. "We will get him out, but you can't be in there."

"Daniel, Please."

There's no way he was going to be able to say no to him, not when he was looking at him like that. He was always a sucker for brown eyes.

"I'll see what I can do, but you stay put, do you hear me?"

.

Daniel stuck close to Carlos from the moment they breached the door until the moment they heard the words "all clear".

"They have to be here somewhere," Carlos exclaimed, "where- what-"

Daniel watched as his friend spun around wildly, terrified eyes searching the corners of the room, looking for someone that's not there. "TK! TK?!" He knew Carlos would tear apart the place to find the man he loved, but he also knew they'd searched the place inch by inch.

There was no one in this house.

.

"I've got something!"

Daniel straightened up, hurrying after Carlos. He lifted up a carpet, revealing a square trap door. He was about to open it when Daniel's CO caught his hand.

"We need to be smart about this- do not move until I give you the order."

Carlos' jaw clenched. He looked up at the older man, and the defiance in his eyes slowly melted away until there was nothing but desperation there. He nodded. "Yes, sir."

.

"We're gonna find them, and he's gonna be fine," he attempted to reassure him, but it fell on def ears.

Carlos seemed to be in his own little world, clutching at the small cross he wore around his neck.

"Alright, team," His CO called out, "let's move ou-"

The next second, there was an explosion. His ears were ringing, heart pounding wildly as glass shattered and they all dropped to the ground for cover. All except Carlos that is, who'd stumbled back into his car and was now staring at the house that was up in flames, a blank look on his face. He didn't seem to comprehend what had just happened.

Daniel scrambled up, ignoring the twinge of pain in his leg. "Carlos," he said softly, but recieved no answer. He repeated it again, and again, until he managed to tar his eyes away from the fire and looked at him. "Carlos, breathe."

He did, and with that first breath he took, he crumbled.

Daniel was no stranger to fear, or pain, or grief, but there was something about the raw nature of Carlos', and the sheer magnitude, that was so devastating he found himself unable to do a single thing.

Carlos fell to his knees, screamed his love's name until he was unable to, and all the while, Daniel could do nothing but watch.

.

The firefighters that arrived huddled around Carlos, holding him, comforting him, but he was still out of it, probably in shock. Captain Owen Strand came over to talk to Captain Holt, and damn it all if the man didn't look like he'd aged ten years. Like Carlos, he seemed to be in shock. Unlike Carlos, he seemed to be in denial, stubbornly still attempting to do his job.

"Owen, go home," Holt said quietly.

The other man shook his head. "Not until I see him."

Holt just nodded.

.

Another call, another bomb, another wreckage with no death tally. It had them all on edge, because whoever was doing this seemed to be toying with them.

.

It took three days to find them.

Three days, thirteen people dead, and a dozen more injured, but they found them.

More importantly, they found him.

TK Strand was handsome. He was also covered in blood and dirt, trying to save the life of the man who'd put him through this nightmare, and seemingly very pissed off about it. When the paramedics took over for him, he stood up, and stumbled over to the nearest wall. Daniel joined him. "You okay?"

"Peachy," the man muttered. He cracked open an eye and grinned wryly, "not my first kidnapping."

Daniel blinked.

TK chuckled, then winced.

"TK!"

"TK?!"

Daniel looked to the entrance, found Carlos making his way over to them at breakneck speed. When he looked back at TK, the mask of indifference had slid off, and was replaced by a mixture of intense love and relief.

He moved away just in time for Carlos to reach them. When he pulled TK into his arms, Carlos was gentle, but then TK seemed to burrow closer, hands clenching in the back of Carlos' jacket, face buried in his neck. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with unshed tears. Carlos pulled him impossibly closer, and TK's knees buckled.

Daniel was about to call for a paramedic, but he stopped when Carlos eased TK to the ground, then sat beside him. He held him close, and TK rested his forehead on Carlos', eyes closed and basking in the moment.

When they kissed, it was intimate and sweet and Daniel looked away.

"Hi, baby," he heard TK whisper sweetly, and Carlos let out a strangled laugh. "Breathe," he told him softly.

They were quite for a few seconds, and then-

"I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," Carlos rasped, "but if you do this again, I'm never letting you out of the house."

"Ooooh, is that a promise?"

Carlos' response was forgotten when TK pulled him into another deeper kiss.

Daniel smiled, relieved, and walked away, sure they were safe in each other's arms.

.

#tarlos fic #tarlos #ejwritestarlos #Hurt/Comfort #not my best work but probably my fastest lol #will be on AO3 shortly

[ravens-words]

First Line Tag Game

Thank you, @noxsoulmate and @bonheur-cafe for the tag, I appreciate you both so much 💛

Rules: Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

Making it from oldest to newest.

a dead love's buried beneath the dirt [Hangster]

Jake genuinely thought his day couldn't get any worse- a missed alarm, a spectacular hangover-induced headache and flying like Hangman does do not mix particularly well. As he walks out the bar, completely sober, he's relieved to put the day behind him.

That is, until he climbs into his car and a hand wraps around his throat from behind.

come what may [Tarlos]

The scene is a familiar one.

A four vehicle collision, a fire truck and four ambulances. TK's team is the last to arrive.

"I'm just saying," Nancy huffs, "I'm kinda the reason the reason you two got back together and I should be rewarded for it."

flying too close to the ground [Tarlos]

"My fiance's in there."

Officer Carlos Reyes said it quietly, but it still startled Daniel. He looked back at the man, wanting to make sure he heard right. "What did yo- Hey, whoah!" He lunged after him, managed to put a hand on his arm. It didn't stop him, but it slowed him down enough that he manged to stand in front of him. "What are you doing, huh? You wanna get yourself killed?!"

"Danny," he started, calm in a way that scared Daniel, "move or I will make you move."

Carnations [Tarlos, Hanahaki Disease AU]

"When I saw you in that hospital bed, not knowing if you would ever wake up, I had all these feelings- strong feelings, which is crazy because I still barely know you," Carlos started, then paused, hoping TK would say something, anything.

He didn't.

"I'm just confused," he confessed, "what are we? Are we even a 'we'?"

shot through the heart [Tarlos, Mob AU]

I'm not a murderer. I was trying to save him. I didn’t kill anyone. I was just trying to save him.

TK Strand sits in an uncomfortable metal chair, bloody hands handcuffed to a metal table, in an NYPD interrogation room.

You're in my heart like an Infection [Buddie]

"Why are you staring at Buck?"

Hen's voice startles Eddie enough that he nearly spills the hot coffee he just poured into his mug on his lap.

"He's always staring at Buck," Chimney mutters from where he's sitting beside him.

Eddie rolls his eyes, side eying his friend, then turns his attention back to Buck, who's staring at the coffee machine like it holds the secrets of the universe.

been you all along [Hangster]

When Helen shows up at his door, she's crying silently, her nose red and her eyes puffy.

She's also holding a sleeping baby to her chest, its head resting on her thin shoulders. Bradley stares at them both, stunned.

"I can't do this," she tells him, a shaking hand coming up to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

start anew

Six year old TK sat on the couch in his living room, clad in his firefighter costume and watching the door like a hawk, waiting for his father to come get him so they could go trick or treating.   His mother came into the room and TK frowned when he saw the look on her face. She crouched in front of him, smiling softly. "Honey, I need to talk to you about something, okay?"

I'll hold you longer than forever [Buddie]

Falling in love with Evan Buckley has been the easiest thing Eddie has ever done.

Which is probably why it only registers when he sees Buck's limp body hanging from the ladder, completely, terrifyingly still. He screams his name, "Buck!"

Don't you dare die.

if my heart was a house, you'd be home [Hangster]

Jake wakes up to an excruciating amount of pain, in every inch of his body. When he opens his eyes, the room he's in is dark and gloomy, and the only sound in it is the beeping of the heart monitor. He tries to lift up his head, but it's awkward as hell with the neck collar he has on. He's helpless, and for a moment, the panic sets in and he's paralyzed with it.

eyes wide shut [Tarlos]

I can't do it, I really tried. I love you with all my heart, I just can't marry you, Carlos. I'm sorry.   When Carlos pictured his wedding day, he saw vows whispered in hushed tones, misty eyes and bright smiles. He saw himself dancing with the man he loved, surrounded by the most important people in their lives, and it always ended with him and TK, in their own bed, in their own home, intertwined with a newfound wealth of love between them.

Tagging: @tkstrrand @lambourngb @lilythesilly @morganaspendragonss

#ejtaggames #ejwritestarlos #ejwriteshangster #ejwritesbuddie #THX FOR THE TAGS #hangster #buddie #tarlos

[ravens-words]

tarlos angst bingo, car wrecking, angst list number 16 with tk being the responding paramedic :)) CONGRATS ON 600

16. “How is any of this ok?”

Thank you so much for the prompt, and sorry it took me so long- hope you enjoy!

come what may

The scene is a familiar one.

A four vehicle collision, a fire truck and four ambulances.

TK's team is the last to arrive.

"I'm just saying," Nancy huffs, "I'm kinda the reason the reason you two got back together and I should be rewarded for it."

He rolls his eyes, catches the bag she throws his way just before it smacks him in the face and glares at her before they both hurry to catch up with their captain.

Tommy catches his eye. "Still haven't decided who your best person's gonna be?"

He shakes his head with a laugh. "At this point, I'm thinking we should just elope," he tells her, and she laughs.

.

They're not laughing anymore when they reach the scene. Tommy's efficient as ever, directing them to where they're needed, and TK ends up hopping from one car to the next, helping out where he can. He's by the last car when he notices the tread marks on the street, between the third and fourth car. He freezes, looks back at the distance between the two cars, the position in which the last car is placed. He hurries over to the edge, looks around wildly, and that's when he spots the truck, and the faint light coming from the headlights.

"Hey," he barks out, as loud as he can to be heard over the chaos, "there's another car down there!"

.

He and Nancy get there fairly quickly, almost slip and fall multiple times, but they manage it. Nancy gets to the car, to check on whoever's inside, and TK puts down their gear to set up. His teammate let's out a gasp."Oh my God, TK-" she scrambles for her radio, fumbles with it and TK frowns, gets up to see what has her so rattled, but she steps in front of him.

"Cap, we need back up down here," she says shakily, "it's-" her teary eyes meet his, "it's Carlos."

TK's world collapses in on itself.

.

He helps Nancy.

The part of his brain that's not paralyzed by fear for the man he loves, for the man he's going to marry in two months, manages to carry him through the initial assessment.

Skull fracture. Unconscious. Not responsive to stimuli.

Two, possibly more, broken ribs.

Legs pinned under the dashboard.

Then Tommy gets there, and he's useless, standing idly by, waiting for orders.

It doesn't occur to him to get inside the car until Tommy gently tells him to do so.

He's on autopilot now, takes his fiance's cold, cold hands in both of his and Wars them up. It doesn't work all that well, so he lifts up a hand to his face, wipes away the blood that's in and around his eyes and scoots forward. TK presses a kiss to the hair just above his ear, lingers there for a second before he pulls away. "I need you to be okay, baby, okay?" He whispers the words in his ear, just for him, then lets his head rest on the side of Carlos'. He breathes with him.

In, out. The world falls away from around him, there's nothing but the two of them existing in this bubble.

He's only vaguely aware of what's going on around him, so he hears snippets of Tommy and Nancy's clipped conversations.

But then Tommy curses, "Owen, where the hell are you? We need to get him out, now! Nancy-"

Blood rushes to his ears, and he feels his breath stutter.

In, out.

He hears his father's voice, and the tight band around his chest loosens just a little bit.

In, out.

His father speaks to him, but he doesn't catch the words. He nods anyway.

In, out.

Judd, or maybe Nancy, squeezes his shoulder

In, out.

In-

He stops breathing, holds his breath, waits for Carlos to let the breath he's taken. The chest under his hand is still- too still.

"-he's crashing, Judd, get him out now!"

TK, against the odds, comes alive in that moment.

I'm not losing him.

He grabs a hold of the steering and yanks. He does it again, and again. "I got it, brother," Judd tells him, and TK reluctantly nods, let's him work on it while he holds Carlos' hand and squeezes. He holds on as tight as he can, tells him not to leave him, doesn't care how desperate he sounds.

Once the steering wheel is out of the way, he doesn't waste any time. TK swings one leg over both of Carlos' straddling him, and begins compressions. It's awkward, and he's terrified it's not going to work like this, but this is all he can do.

He hope it's enough.

God, it has to be.

.

"It's gonna be okay, kid."

TK laughs, but it sounds wrong- choked off and hoarse, "how is any of this okay?"

"Kid-"

"He's- he could die, dad," he mumbles shakily, "Carlos could die and I-"

"You did the best you could," he cuts him off, "you did your best, and you saved him."

"What if it wasn't enough, what if I-"

His father doesn't let him finish, pulls him close and hugs him tightly. TK's hands clutch onto the back of his shirt, desperately in need of something to hold onto. "He's gonna be okay, TK. He's a fighter, he's got smooch to live for, and he's not going to leave you. He would never leave you."

Mom did, he thinks but doesn't say, and it sends a fresh wave of fear, and grief, rushing through him.

Please don't take him from me. Please, God, please.

.

Carlos makes it through surgery.

He makes it through the first critical 12 hours.

He doesn't wake up though.

TK's an anxious mess, the doctors try to reassure him that it's normal due to the swelling, but he can tell they're worried too.

He sits by Carlos' bedside, reads to him, talks to him about the wedding, about Jonah, about his mom. Their families come and go, but TK stays the whole time, though not for their lack of trying.

He sits there, eyes never leaving Carlos' face, and waits for him to wake up.

.

When he does wake up, it's just after 2 AM and TK has finally allowed himself to sleep. His hand twitches in TK's, then he hears a groan.

He scrambles out of his chair, which topples over, then presses the call button a couple of times. "Carlos? Baby, are you with me?"

He recieves another pained groan, and winces in sympathy. His hand runs soothing circles on his chest. "I know it hurts, I know, baby, but can you open your eyes for me? Let see those pretty eyes," he pleads with him, laughing wetly.

"Soulful," Carlos mutters, opening one eye, then the next.

TK laughs, "hi, baby," he leans down to kiss him- his hair, his cheeks, his lips.

Carlos laughs weakly. TK breathes for what feels like the first time in a decade. "Thank you," he whispers fiercely as he holds his face in both his hands. "Thank you."

"Wha' for?" He mutters, blinking slowly.

"Not leaving me," TK lets out in a rush.

His eyes soften slightly, and he lifts a hand with some difficulty to wipe his tears away. "I'd never leave you," he says, "still have a weddin' to plan."

TK laughs, kisses him again, and that's when the doctors and nurses swarm the room. They grab Carlos' attention with some difficulty, start asking questions, taking his vitals. Throughout it all, TK doesn't let go of his hand, and Carlos holds onto his tight enough to hurt, as if to say:

I'm here,

I'm alive,

I've got you.

#ejwritestarlos #tarlos fic #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #ejs700celebration

[ravens-words]

(what if I just spam 🌹 so much you basically just write the entire fic 👀👀😂😂😂)

Asdfjgk well I think a nice round number, 10? Is that too much? Anyway here's a bouquet of flowers: 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 I would tie them up for you but there's no string emoji??

I'll gladly take Buddie or Tarlos, just anything really 🫶🫶 (pretty please)

Buddie Zombie AU

52: 59: 57 Capture and hunt walkers, strip them of their clothes and belongings after using them for target practice, but have a guaranteed chance that Christopher will have a roof over his head and someone to look after him, or- Leave now, and go back to the uncertainty of before. It should be an easy choice. It's anything but. Christopher staying with Doug would mean being exposed to his cruelty, his greed, his abuse. That wasn't something he wanted for his son. .

Tarlos Social Worker TK AU

"I do not have a boyfriend," TK snapped, "no, you know what? I don't have time for this. Goodbye, Carlos. Thanks for the ride." With that, he slammed the door so hard the car actually rattled. He was unbelievable. TK Strand was a piece of work. He was the one cheating, using Carlos to do it, and yet somehow, he'd managed to make Carlos feel guilty. Well, fuck him.

For Every "🌹" Received In My Inbox I'll Write One Sentence For a WIP of Your Choice

WIPs:

#ejswip #ejwritestarlos #tarlos fic #ejwritesbuddie #buddie fic