#even if he deep down knows finnley is not like that. they have been friends since they were 14 y/o they *know* how the other is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shatteredsilverwing · 2 months

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Different Stages of Life AU - The Frog Prince

Words: 1,652 Characters: 9,112

Ms. Finnley, Sephiroth’s nursery school teacher, decided to go on an excursion to the nearest children’s playground. His excitement was limited, since it had been pouring unceasingly the whole morning. He loved the rain, but not if he was forced to play outside, so the only option that was left for him was to sit on a wooden bench while he watched the other children play. If one looked at him, he came across like a sad, little boy who helplessly clung on the handle of his umbrella. Thanks to its efforts to shield him from the raindrops, his clothes and his hair stayed dry, but that didn’t make him less trembling like a leaf.

He tucked up his knees in a hopeless attempt to keep himself warm, but it didn’t really help that much. Instead, his current position made him look even smaller than he already was.

Sephiroth was seething: Why in the world would the nursery school teacher dare to visit the nearby children’s playground today of all days?! Couldn’t they have just stayed inside like the other groups?! He could’ve found more than one interesting activity at least, but being outside during a weather like this, all he could do was to freeze on the spot.

After sitting and grumbling for a solid fifteen minutes, he eventually concluded that complaining wouldn’t help either, so he gave in and stood up slowly.

Since he wasn’t very fond of playing in the sand in general, and especially NOT when it was raining, he decided to take a stroll through the bushes and smaller trees. The bushes and trees were formed like a tiny wood which also made it a perfect hiding place from the other annoying, screaming children. As soon as he walked into it, his surroundings immediately got silent and the only thing he could hear were the raindrops pattering down on his umbrella.

Sephiroth closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm his mind. However, a weird noise suddenly caught his attention. “Ribbit!” Was that… A croak?! Of course he already surmised that this noise could only match with one certain type of animal: a frog. Obviously!

He opened his eyes and hastily looked around, but couldn’t see the source of the croaking. “Where are you hiding…?”, he quietly mumbled to himself as he squatted down to the ground and thoroughly peeked through the bushes.

That tricky little rascal seemed to be hidden well, as it was nowhere to be seen, yet that only fueled Sephiroth’s determination to find this frog even more.

He has never found a real one out in the wild before, so he especially showed great interest in this fine specimen.

“Are you looking for Billy~?” Normally, Sephiroth hated being interrupted in his schemes and would simply dismiss the voices of others around him who dared to disturb him. But this particular voice he heard was an exception. As soon as he realised who that sweet, cheeky voice belonged to, he felt many tiny butterflies tickling inside his tummy. When he decided to turn around, he spotted how Angel stood next to him, greeting him with a mischievous smile and her arms folded behind her back. “Billy?”, he asked confusingly and straightened himself up so he could be on Angel’s eye height. “Yes, Billy! The Frog Prince! Have you ever heard about The Frog Prince?” Much to his embarrassment, he shaked his head slowly, which only earned a dramatic gasp from his dear friend. “You don’t know the Frog Prince?!”,she shouted back at him while her eyes widened.

Not because she was horrified that, out of all people, Sephiroth, who read one book after another, never heard about the Frog Prince before.

On the contrary, she got very excited to share one of her favourite fairy tales with him! “Okay, let me tell you about it: It’s a fairy tale for children, where a frog helps a princess to get her golden ball back. She loved to play with that ball, but unfortunately, it fell into a well while she threw it high into the air. The ball dropped on a frog’s head and he jumped out and gave it back to her. In exchange for his help, the frog demanded a kiss from her. Of course, the princess declined at first, saying how disgusting it would be to kiss a frog. Ew! Then the frog told her that he was actually a prince that was enchanted by an evil witch, and if she kissed him, she would break the spell and he’d turn back. And after she kissed him this time, they lived happily together ever after.”

Even though Sephiroth wasn’t much into fairy tales, he listened with careful attention to every word she spoke to him. This story didn’t make any sense to him in retrospect: How could a human turn another human into a frog just like that? “But… A human can’t turn another human into a frog just like that”, he repeated his last thought out loud as he looked at Angel in disbelief. “Well”, she replied while she crossed her arms, “it’s called magic! With the power of magic, people can turn everything into anything!” “Magic doesn’t exist. It’s humbug.” Angel almost stumbled backwards when she heard Sephiroth’s blunt remark on her belief in magic. How could he be so mean and tell her that straight into her face?! She was appalled! To vent her displeasure, she stomped closer to Sephiroth, hands on her hips and her face blazed with anger. “Oh yeah? I’m going to prove to you that magic DOES exist! If we find Billy, then I’ll give him a kiss, and then he’ll turn into a lovely prince, just like in the fairy tale!” Sephiroth’s hair stood on end when Angel told him about her plan to kiss a frog. He shook his head and shuddered with disgust. “That’s disgusting…”, he mumbled quietly and turned away from Angel, only to be greeted by the frog he was looking for the whole time.

Billy was sitting on a thick branch of a tree he was standing just in front of him and didn’t seem bothered by anything at all.

Their eyes met for a moment and then, without any prior warning, Billy took the risk of a huge jump and successfully landed on Sephiroth’s head. While he screamed in terror, Angel laughed herself to tears. “Get that thing off of me!”, he squealed in panic and his grip on the handle of his umbrella got even tighter and his whole body tensed up. The sheer thought of having a slimy frog touching his body sent a very uncomfortable shiver down his spine, which almost made him cry. Ordinarily, he was also set against the idea of touching such a creature altogether, so he desperately pleaded for Angel to free him from this unpleasantness. Angel in the meanwhile was shaking with laughter, yet she couldn’t bear seeing her dear friend suffering that badly, so she quickly obliged to his plea and picked up Billy onto the palm of her hands. “You stupid creature!”,he yelled at him angrily, “I’m going to dissect you for that insolence!” “He’s a prince! You cannot dissect him!” “That abomination is not a prince! It’s a crime against nature!” Poor Billy looked down ashamed and a sad croak escaped his throat. Apparently, it was able to understand his harsh words and they made him feel ashamed for being a frog…

“Now you made him sad, Sephy… How can you be so cruel…”, she talked back to him while gently petting the frog’s head, “but don’t you worry, Billy! I’m going to give you a kiss and then everything will be fine again, my little prince~” Before she leaned in to kiss him, she gave him a little nudge with her nose to cheer Billy up a little. Then, she closed her eyes and gave him a quick smoochie right on his lips. Sephiroth felt like he could faint any minute from utter disgust, while Angel was on the edge of her seat, hoping for the frog to turn into a prince. 5 Seconds… 10 Seconds… 15 Seconds… But nothing happened. Even after waiting for a whole minute, the frog didn’t seem to give any impressions of turning into anything. Angel was heartbroken and though Sephiroth felt good to be in the right with his view on magic, he couldn’t stand seeing her like this.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work, Angel…”, she spoke softly to her; looking just as heartbroken as she did. Angel sighed sadly; her eyes still fixed on Billy. She was still secretly hoping that he would turn into a prince. It must have been a very powerful spell! Perhaps that’s the reason why it took so long! And besides, hope dies last after all, right? But unfortunately, she hoped in vain.

“Don’t be sorry”, she finally replied to Sephiroth, “maybe it just wasn’t the right prince for me… I will keep him though. He may not be a prince, but he can be my pet!” Her face brightened up within a second at her idea as she tapped Billy’s head carefully with her fingers. Sephiroth admired her optimism after experiencing such a great disappointment and even though she didn’t get her prince, he was genuinely happy for her that she at least got a new pet!He shyly moved closer to her and covered her with his umbrella; his cheeks slightly blushing as he realised how close he was standing in front of her.

“W-We should do back, otherwise Ms. Finnley will be worried about us!”, he stuttered, trying to change the subject to hide his nervousness.

And so they both went back to the playground, while Angel happily carried Billy within her arms and Sephiroth enjoyed the rest of the day outside with his beloved friend Angel and his new won "friend", Billy.

#sephiroth #ff7 sephiroth #ff7 #final fantasy 7 #final fantasy #different stages of life au #shatteredsilverwing #frog prince

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fangirlspammer · 4 years

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Journey to the Past pt.3

This took awhile to write, but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you are enjoying this😌

You had been pacing around your living room for half an hour now. Jack was still not home after that blowout back in her office nearly two hours ago. You knew she had work to do and probably needed to cool down before coming over, if she was still coming over. You had showered and made dinner, but still there was no sign of Jack not even a text. Just as you thought about giving up the door opened and you turned to face Jack.

"Jack," you stopped as she held up her hand and you couldn't read her expression. Was she upset with you? Had something happened in the case? Had Gibbs made things worse? All of these questions flooding your mind only made you more anxious.

Jack sighed and set down her coat and purse. "We need to talk," her voice sent chills down your spine and your stomach turned. Nothing good ever came from that sentence in a relationship.

"I shouldn't have called him out like that. It wasn't appropriate," you stepped in quickly.

"No, it wasn't, but that's not what we need to talk about," she shook her head and patted the seat beside her on the sofa.

You looked to her with a certain fear in your eyes, cautiously proceeding to her side. As you sat you looked at your hands that were fiddling in your lap. "Jack, baby, you're really starting to freak me out. Is this about us?"

Jack noticed the fear exuding from you and took your hand. "No! No, god no," she shook her head quickly. "I love you, Y/N," you felt yourself smile as she carried on. "I just needed to clear things up. Gibbs didn't end things with me," she sighed and ran her free hand through her hair.

You furrowed your brow as you listened to her. "I don't understand."

Jack began to chew her lower lip and get antsy in her seat. "Gibbs and I weren't a thing for a long time, despite what his team says," she started and stood up. Now she was the one who was pacing the room. "We flirted and spent a lot of time together, yes," she turned to face you and sighed. "One night, after things were starting to get serious, we found ourselves.." she squinted her eyes and tilted her head a bit, unsure how to phrase this. You nodded and she carried on, leaving you with the unsettling images of your girlfriend and your boss in bed together. "The next morning I told him things weren't going to work because I liked somebody else," she finally took a seat again and put her head in her hands.

You're eyes widened in realization of what she was getting at. "You mean you left him for me?"

Jack nodded, but retracted her response. "It wasn't me leaving him, Y/N. We weren't a couple."

"But you slept together," she nodded and you sighed. "He thinks it's my fault."

"No," Jack moved closer and pushed your hair from your face. "I talked to him tonight, and he knows where my head was at now. He's sorry for how he's treated you these past months."

You scoffed and rolled youreyes. "Gibbs apologized?" You couldn't help your skepticism on the subject. Special Agent, Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not one to apologise. He was barely one to stick around for a full conversation.

"Maybe not in so many words, but I know he is sorry," Jack laughed and you rolled your eyes with a little smirk tugging at the corner of your lips.

She leaned in to kiss your cheek, brushing her lips over it a few times before proceeding to your jawline. This lasted awhile before she captured your lips in a series of hungry kisses. Your stomach did flips and your heart raced at her touch. Your hand slid up her thigh and found its way behind her back. Nothing had ever felt as good as it did when Jack was in your arms.

"I made dinner," you whispered as you both pulled away for air. She arched her brow and you laughed at the cautious look that spread across her face. "I know, I know. We might have to order in."

"I'll eat whatever you made," she smirked and pushed loose strands of hair from your face. Her deep brown eyes glossed over with love and lust.

You found yourself unable to speak for a few moments, getting lost in Jack completely. You couldn't explain the feelings that arose inside of you whenever she was around, and when she was as close as she was now all hell broke loose within you. You shook your head of your devious thoughts before clearing your throat and letting out a soft laugh. "I won't make you do that to yourself. My cooking will probably put you up for a week," you laughed with more amusement in your tone.

Jack rolled her eyes and let out a sound that you swore sounded like an angel singing. "I'll risk it," she leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your ruby lips once more. "Who knows, maybe I can have you for dessert?"

You felt your cheeks get hot and swore your face was the shade of a tomato. You absolutely loved when Jack was playful like this with you. "Maybe," you smirked and kissed her lips once more. "Maybe I'll even let you have seconds."

Soft giggles filled the room and you both found yourselves lost in yet another series of desperate kisses. Neither of you were ever able to keep your hands off of each other. Honestly you were amazed that you had managed to stay mostly professional at work. At least to the publics eyes you were.

Jack couldn't remember a longer 'hump day' in her life. The murder of Lieutenant Abigail Finnley was going on its third day of being unsolved. William Jenson was still a suspect even though NCIS had to release him due to lack of evidence, and Jack could only imagine the smug look he must of had on his face as he walked out. She had been over the files at least five times that morning alone, but she was getting nowhere. She tossed her pencil across the room in frustration just as the door open. She looked up and saw Gibbs standing there surprised after having to dodge a flying pencil.

"Have a new file for you," he walked in and shut the door behind him. He held out yet another boring beige folder and she took it with frustration.

"Just what I need. Another file to go over that'll lead me nowhere," she rolled her tired brown eyes, unamused.

Gibbs couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips when he saw the frustration written all over her. "Lesley Hangman, Lieutenant Finnley's best friend," he stated plainly.

Jack was flipping through the files now and looked up at Gibbs suddenly. "We already questioned her. Did you find something else?"

"Finnley filled a restraining order against her the week before she died."

Jack was intrigued. She adjusted her glasses and sat forward with curiosity. "Now why would you file a restraining order against your best friend?"

Gibbs shrugged. "That's where you come in, Jack," he sighed and started to leave, but he stopped at the door. "Y/N-"

Jack arched a brow and gave a little nod. "She'll be on her best behavior tomorrow," she assured him.

"Not what I was asking, Jack."

"I know," their eyes locked for a moment before she sighed, giving into his silent questions. "I told her everything, and we are fine." Gibbs nodded and just like that Jack was left to her own devices once again.

Jack looked down as her phone made a noise. A smile crossed her lips as she read the text.

Chinese takeout tonight. Any movie requests? (:

Surprise me baby. Can't wait to see you;) -J

You chuckled at the text you just received and licked the cookie dough off of the spatula. You began to wipe the counter and do the dishes as the cookies baked, filling the room with a rich sweetness. There was not much to do being stuck at home but cook and clean, and try not to focus too negatively on yesterday's events. You sighed and turned your music up to drown out your thoughts. You began to dance and hum to yourself. Jack would be home soon and you wanted her to enjoy the evening. This case was too personal for her, and you knew that the last thing she would want was to think about it all. The door opened, but you didn't hear it. You were too busy singing along to the music into a wooden spoon. Your hips swayed and you tossed you hair. A loud screech escaped your lips as you felt arms wrap around you from behind.

"Jack! I didn't even hear you come in," you tried to catch your breath as you turned in her arms. She chuckled and pecked your lips. "I wasn't expecting you so soon."

"We wrapped the case," she shrugged and kissed your nose again, giggling. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. You just looked so sexy I couldn't resist."

You rolled your eyes and smirked. She had an excuse for everything. Your brows furrowed when you realized what she had said. "You wrapped the case? Was it-"

Jack shook her head and sighed. "No, it wasn't Jenson. Turns out it was the best friend, Lesley Hangman. She and Finnley were more than friends, but when Finnley broke things off Lesley became obsessed with trying to get her back."

"And that's when Lieutenant Finnley filed the restraining order?" Your knowledge sparked Jack's curiosity and you giggled. "Bishop might have filled me in on a few details earlier."

Jack rolled her eyes and continued. "Yes, well Lesley came over to confront Abigail and things got heated. That's when she stabbed her," she sighed and let her body relax against yours, pressed against the counter. Your arms instinctively wrapped around her.

"Sounds like you need to put your feet up," you breathed out as she pressed against you. Your heart was racing. The things this woman did to you.

"Way up," she smirked playfully causing you groan.

She leaned closer, kissing along your jawline before dipping down to the curve of your collarbone. Your head tilted back instinctively and you swallowed hard. Your grip on the counter tightened as her lips trailed down your chest, but quickly made their way back to your neck. You could feel your legs getting shaky, and she must have too because her leg pushed in between yours and her hips held you in position. You let out another groan, this one more desperate than the last. You took a deep breath, but her scent was intoxicating.

Your hands ran up her back until they found their way into her beautifully, blonde, beach curls, and gave them a gentle tug. She gasped and looked into your eyes before you leaned forward to capture her lips in a heated frenzy of passion. You both wasted no time finding your way into each other's mouths, fighting for dominance, and before you knew it Jack was leading you to the bedroom. You didn't stop her as she kicked the door shut and laid you on the bed. All previous plans were out the window, and your focus was on the beautiful, half naked blonde straddling you now and kissing down your body.

"Y/N," Jack's voice was low and seductive as she inches closer to your thighs.

Her fingers latched under your panty line, but you pulled her back up to you and quickly flipped her over. "Jack," you groaned again. Her hands were pinned to the mattress as our straddled her now and dipped your head to kiss her passionately. "This is about you," you whispered and smirked. She let out that giggle that sent shivers up your spine. Your lips found hers again, and soon the room filled with soft moans and breathless panting. If only everyday could be this way.

#ncis #jack sloane x reader #mark harmon #gibbs #maria bello #jacqueline sloane #jack sloane #jaqueline sloane #agent gibbs #agent sloane #special agent Jacqueline sloane

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no-crap-fm · 7 years

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The Rewrite - Chapter 2

Chloe watched Rae’s form shrink in the distance as her train left the station. They waved to each other all the while. A tear gathered in the corner of her eye. She carefully dabbed at the moisture not wanting to ruin her makeup. Normally, she would be seeking out a seat by a fit lad. In light of the magazine in her suitcase pocket, she opted to seek out somewhere quiet to sit. After walking through a couple of cars, she found an unoccupied corner seat with a table. Setting her suitcase on the seat next to her, she opened the zippered pocket and pulled out her copy of The Bristol Literary Society. Leaning back in her chair with her legs tucked under her, Chloe settled in to read Rae’s story. She had only made it a few paragraphs in when the tears threatened to fall. Chloe’s eyes darted around the compartment. Luckily, no one had taken any of the nearby seats. She was alone.

Finnley and Mae were alike in so many ways. However, it was their differences that convinced Mae they could never be together. Fortunately for Mae, Finnley knew better. He saw Mae’s strength and encouraged her…

…Mae screamed herself hoarse as the Gallaghers took the stage. She knew there was nowhere else on Earth she would rather be than in this moment with Finnley. He stood with his hand in hers. They shared a knowing look. Memories of Knebworth would be with them for the rest of their days…

“I love you, Finnley.”

“I love you, Mae.”

Chloe paused her reading. The bits that stood out haunted her. This story was what Rae wished had happened for herself and Finn. If this was what her best mate wanted, Chloe was going to help. She owed it to Rae. Rae deserved to be happy, even if she was too stubborn to go out and get it for herself. Chloe was certain she had to put this magazine in someone else’s hands. She knew where she would be going first thing in the morning.

Following her old mate out of the office, Chloe said, “Finn, I know it’s been hard on you but if you’ll just read this-” Finn cut her off with his raised hands. He was on the verge of shouting when he seethed, “What do you know about it, Chlo? You have no idea what it’s been like for me.” He shook his head angrily as he bent under the bonnet of the Fiat to check the oil level. She sighed. “I think you’re wrong, Finn. I think it can be fixed.” Moments of Finn scraping metal against metal as he worked were the only sounds between them. When Finn saw Chloe wasn’t leaving he stood and sighed. Taking the cloth from his back pocket, he wiped his hands. Finn shook his head sadly and mumbled, “What’s done is done, Chlo.” He raised his focus and made her heart squeeze with his melancholy gaze. Without a word, Chloe backed up and returned to the office with the magazine clutched tightly to her chest. Finn watched her carefully set it on the desk, reposition her purse on her shoulder and with a final glance to him through the window, she departed out the front door to the street. A massive exhalation escaped him and Finn’s shoulders slumped.

And just because we’re not together now, Finn Nelson, doesn’t mean that we’ll never be,’kay?

Rae’s words suddenly came back to him. How could he ever forget? “No,” Finn quietly whispered to himself as he flipped on the radio at top volume and returned to his work.

Finn forced his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket as he tried to get past Chop. “Just leave it, Mate.” Chop placed a firm hand on Finn’s chest. “I will not leave it and you're being a bell end. Ya have to read this, ya twat.” Chop waved the magazine in front of Finn’s eyes. Grabbing it out of Chop’s hands, Finn huffed, “Fine! I’ll read it when I get back to mine.” Finn held it up for emphasis and said, “Tonight.” Chop stopped his hand as Finn tried to toss it back on the desk. All Finn wanted was to enjoy his late afternoon cup of tea and a smoke outside. He couldn’t be bothered with specters of the past right now. Chop shook his head. “Nah mate, you’re going to sit outside this fuckin’ garage and read the whole thing right now. Take your fuckin’ lunch break.” Chop pointed to the waiting area they had outside of the shop that was sitting vacant. Finn knew Chop wouldn’t let up. Zipping up his jacket, Finn stepped toward the door. As he headed out Chop called, “Oi, Finn, if you need the rest of the day off I’ve got this covered here.” Finn gave his mate a confused look through the glass as the door closed. Taking a seat at one of the benches Finn set his cup of tea and the magazine down. After lighting the cigarette Finn pulled from behind his ear a long plume of smoke trailed from his lips. He then took a sip of his tea. The afternoon sunlight caught on the glossy cover of the magazine. The austere, gray building on the front bore the University of Bristol flag. Finn was instantly intimidated by the publication. He picked it up with hesitant fingers. A noticeable shaking rustled the pages as he made to leaf through. A dog eared page marked his place. Chop or Chloe must have done it, he thought. Taking a deep breath, Finn began to read.

Mae and Finnley met under very strange circumstances. Mae had just been released from a Mental Home and was being driven back to hers by her mother…

Finn’s thumb found its way into his mouth. He chewed away at it, ignoring the coppery taste of blood as he read on.

…Finnley was a bit of a grumpy sod, but Mae fancied him anyway. If only he knew, she thought…

Finn’s tea sat undisturbed and turned cold as Finn remained in his seat.

…Mae headed to the park to confess her feelings to Finnley. She felt like a phony and wanted him to know the truth…

…”I didn’t know you were sound.”

… “Maybe I don’t want to be your friend.” Mae whispered it and Finnley looked utterly lost. “Ya what?” He asked as his brow wrinkled. Mae slowed down and repeated herself, willing Finnley to understand. “Maybe…I…don’t want to be your friend.” When Finnley still failed to comprehend her meaning Mae whispered to herself, “Oh, fuck it,” and kissed him as she pushed him against the wall of the cupboard.

Finn laughed aloud at this and muttered to himself, “What are you on about, Rae?” He shook his head and said, “That ain’t how it happened and you know it.” With a violent flick of the magazine Finn carried on reading.

Keeping a careful eye on his mate, Chop drank his own cup of tea as he watched Finn’s reactions to Rae’s story.

“You can’t fool me, Mae. I’ve loved you too long.” Finnley took the acceptance letter from Mae’s hand. After reading over the message he beamed. “I’m so proud of you, girl. I knew you’d get in.” Mae swallowed back her tears as she returned Finnley’s smile. Taking her in his arms, Finnley asked, “What do want to do, Mae?” Placing her hands on Finnley’s forearms she gulped, “I want to go but I don’t want to lose you.” Pulling her closer, Finnley pressed his forehead to Mae’s. “You won’t,” he whispered. “I’ll come with you.” Mae’s mouth dropped open. Finnley laughed and took her silence as a cue to elaborate. With a shrug he added, “I can find a job in Newcastle and we can get a flat there. We would have lived together here if you were going to stay. This way we both get a fresh start.” A shadow of doubt overtook Finnley as he said, “If you want, that is, Mae. If you want to go on your own I’ll understand. I’ll still love you either way. I know you’re strong enough to make it out there.” Mae threw her arms around Finnley’s neck and gushed, “Of course I want you to come, you numpty! Please come with me to Newcastle.” Their laughter echoed through Finnley’s flat. He brushed a stray bit of Mae’s hair behind her ear and stared at her adoringly. Mae’s tears dried as Finnley pulled her in for a kiss which sealed their commitment to a new life together.

The sun was starting to pass its zenith as Finn ran his index finger over the last few paragraphs of the story. “So that’s what you wanted, Rae? Why didn’t you say something?” He rolled up the magazine, twisting it in his hands. Some details of the narrative struck Finn. There was an obvious lack of pivotal elements. No Katie, no mention of Finn’s exes like Stacey or Olivia, no Green Lane gang, no Liam and no break ups of any kind, just to name a few. Finn was in turmoil. What was Rae thinking writing something like this? He knew she must have had no intention of ever showing it to him. They hadn’t so much as spoken since the night of the leaver’s ball. Finn had hated it for the first few months. While he kept wondering about Rae and hoping she was well he simply couldn’t bring himself to ask after her. He knew Chloe and Izzy were still in touch. Even Archie stopped himself from talking about Rae when he was home at Christmas. It was all too hard. Now Finn had worked himself into a comfortable state of numbness. He’d even thought he was getting better. The sweat on his palms and the tremor in his fingers told him otherwise. He watched his knuckles turn white while clenching the magazine. The nervous energy was too much for him. Finn needed to move. Keeping the magazine in his hand, he pounded down the street toward the park. He needed to blow off some steam. Maybe some of his old footie mates would be up for a match. As he walked images of his real past with Rae played behind his eyes.

Rae in her Stone Roses shirt coming to see him at the park… Was she really coming to tell me she loved me? Finn couldn’t believe it.

Rae standing so close to him in the cupboard at the sexy party. I wish she had just kissed me. I was dying to kiss her, he thought.

Finn learning about Rae’s acceptance to Uni and being so heartbroken. Maybe she did want me to go with her. Maybe she really didn’t want to go at all. Finn ran through so many scenarios he had never considered.

The feel of Katie’s hands on him and his obvious shudder as he tried to pull away from her. “NO!” Finn’s shout caused a few heads to turn as he stopped at the abhorrent thought of what contributed to him losing his first love.

Finn’s mind replayed so many moments where he must have missed Rae’s hints. Scrubbing his hand through his hair, Finn sped up. He considered stopping at his flat to change and go for a proper run. Sighing he thought better of it and kept heading toward the park. As he approached the football pitch shouts of “Oi Finn!” met his ears. Suddenly playing with his old mates left a sour taste in his mouth. Finn quickly waved to the lot and trotted off to continue his progress on foot alone. He passed a trash bin and thought of throwing the magazine in. Instead he tucked it into the pocket on the inside of his jacket and patted it for confirmation it was safe. Finn’s heart raced as he located his pack of cigarettes and struggled to light one as he kept walking.

Hours later, long after sunset, a weary Finn turned the key to unlock his flat. Standing just inside the door, Finn teetered as he surveyed his domain. Assessing the small settee, sparse decor and low ceiling, Finn felt deflated. His surroundings left him with an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Usually, Finn was pleased to come home to his peace and quiet. Tonight he was mentally exhausted and utterly bereft. Shuffling into his kitchen, Finn took a beer from his refrigerator and downed it in one. He then left a trail of clothes on his way to his bedroom. Bumping into his bed, Finn shoved his boots off and collapsed into his blankets. It was out of character for Finn to sulk, but sulk he did. He lay there with his arm over his eyes trying to sleep. Turning to switch on his bedside lamp, Finn looked across his room to the jacket he discarded on the floor. Slipping out of his bed, he crouched down and pulled the magazine from his pocket and climbed back under the covers. Sitting up in bed, Finn started to read the article again. Biting his lip as he read, a plan took shape in his mind. He thought it could all go tits up but he continued making it nonetheless.

To Be Continued...

So many thanks for reading! Happy Monday!

#the rewrite chapter 2 #mmfd #rae earl #finn nelson #rinn

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unrequitedmime · 7 years

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Wow," Finn says slowly as he pulls away from the curb. Albany looks down to her sweater and lets out a laugh, "Shut up! It's not even that bad!" Finn glances away from the road for a moment and meets her eyes. His dark brown gaze burns with open honesty and love. "Actually," he says, "I was just going to say how beautiful you look this morning." Albany feels her stomach flip, and she looks out the window so that Finn can't see the swirling red of her cheeks. She smiles to herself; four months with Finn and he still seems to catch her off guard. "Keep your eyes on the road," she quips back, "I swear if we crash before you take me out for breakfast, I'll cry." He lets out a deep laugh and looks back to the lights, "Sorry, Princess." She looks down into her lap, shaking her head in exasperation. He's called her Princess every day since she admitted to Finn that she hates when boys call their girlfriends "Princess" and "Queen". He knows it annoys her. She doesn't want to tell him that it makes her whole body glow with warmth when he says it. She folds her legs beneath her and turns up the radio. Finn doesn't glance away from the road, but he knows her well enough to know what she wants. Without hesitating, he winds all of the windows down. She smiles as the wind whips by her hair. They sit wordlessly as they drive, listening to the whistling wind beating through the car and the booming bass of the songs. Finn rests his hand against her thigh as he drives, and something clicks within Albany. This is it. This is home. Next to the boy she loves, with a flowing wind and a brilliant melody dancing through the air. The moment lasts forever, and Albany lets the peace burn itself into her heart, takes her time burying this memory deep into her mind so it is never forgotten. They finally pull over at a small cafe, and she sighs in exhaustion as she stands up. He meets her on the footpath, dramatically offering his hand. She takes it, and realises how perfectly her hand fits in his. "I'm so hungry!" she groans, and he laughs, swinging their arms between them, knowing she hates it. "So, what's wrong in 346?" he asks as they come to stand in line. Albany lets out a sigh as her mind runs through the morning's events. First, Sybil dedicates herself to a boy. That alone was a complete shock; Sybil has never stayed with one boy. She is always moving quickly or not associating at all. The one boy that she has kept around is Kieran. She swears they'd die without each other. And then Cliff had appeared in the hall outside. She remembered thinking how sick he looked, how broken. And then she had realised that Peyton looked the exact same ever since she had come home that day with an empty heart. They'd die without each other, too. They need each other, and as she orders her food, Albany prays that it all works out for them. They deserve this. Cliff and Peyton make the sun rise. They were in the sort of love that shakes the Earth, and they always will be. Finn smiles down at Albany, and she feels her heart tremble quietly inside of her chest. She's in the sort of love that shakes the Earth, too. His chestnut hair is a floppy mess this morning, and his light brown eyes shine with intelligence and kindness. He grins down at her, and she feels the sun shine brighter outside as she realises that it's His Smile, the one he reserves for her and her only. A pot of gold, absolute gold. They sit down to eat, and Finn patiently lets Albany talk as they finish their meals. She explains the mornings events to him, and he listens with calmness, eyes widening at just the right moments. She finishes explaining, and he thinks for a moment before looking back up. "I miss Cliff," he says quietly. Albany pauses before the memories come flooding back in, every date night with the girls, and every dinner at theirs. Albany and Finn, Peyton and Cliff, Cecily and Hutch, and Sybil and whatever boy she decided to bring, usually Kieran. Finn and Cliff got along amazingly, becoming close friends in one night. Kieran and Hutch had been best friends since they were 16. That's how Sybil met her best friend and how Cecily met her boyfriend. Hutch had been helping Kieran move in, and Cecily had literally run into him in the hallway. He fell in love with her at first sight, and they've been together since. Sybil met Kieran when he brought a drunken Cecily to the apartment one night after her and Hutch had had dinner at his. She had been the only one home, and it had been 1am in the morning. She had visited Kieran's apartment every day since. Albany takes a moment to nod at her boyfriend, trying to be supportive, "I did too, I think. He always made Peyton shine brighter." Finn nods, and his eyes meet mine. The sudden flow of love and intensity from them stops her heart. "I think you make me shine brighter," he says honestly, his eyes serious, "I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." She feels everything inside of her softly explode, leaving her in a state of awe and adoration. She smiles at him, and slowly asks herself how it's possible she ever found a boy like this. How she could have found someone that loves her and makes her laugh like no one else and smiles secret smiles. How could she have been so lucky? Albany closes her eyes for a moment before looking back up at the boy she loves. Something inside of her locks into place, permanently. It takes her a moment to realise what it is, and when the thought settles itself into her mind, she feels her heart spin itself into warm gold. Pure gold. Finn meets her heavy gaze with one of his own. His light eyes shine with open love, and she can feel him staring deep into her. Into her soul, considering it with welcome arms and a beautiful smile. The world fades away behind him, and the sounds of the cafe fall to the sound of her thumping heart. He is the love of her life, she realises. She will never stop loving him. No matter what happens, no matter how long she lives, he will be with her. He will always be in her heart, and she will be his. She closes her eyes for a moment, letting the thought flutter it's way through her veins like a warm breeze. She belongs to Finnley Collan, and he belongs to her. She has finally found her prince. She opens her eyes, and he raises an eyebrow, breaking the moment with a rueful grin, "What are you thinking? Hopefully not dirty thoughts about me, Albany," he sighs dramatically, and she feels a laugh bubbling up in her chest, "You really have to learn some self control. I must maintain my virtue, and i don't need you staining my image." She lets out a giggle, and his face lights up in a smile that suddenly takes her breath away. He stands up, and grandly offers his hand. "Are we ready to go see Mason, my darling Princess?" The table next to them seats four older women, and they all turn to stare up at Finn when they hear his words. They admire his physique, and Albany feels their gaze on her, as well. He smiles down at her and winks, and she can't help but smiling back. "Oh my!" one of the women laughs, and Finn turns to her, "If only my husband called me Princess!" she turns to Albany, "Darling, you've got yourself a keeper." Albany laughs politely and nods enthusiastically for their sake, "I sure do!" A woman with a pale pink shirt turns to smile up at Finn, "It's nice to hear young men respecting their girls. It proves that love still exists in the younger generations." Albany fights the urge to roll her eyes, because of course the miserable woman found a way to judge the younger generations. She's about to open her mouth and shoot back a snarky retort to put the woman in her place, but Finn's gaze steals her words away as he stares down at her. "Love definitely exists in the younger generations," he says to the woman, keeping his eyes on Albany, "I can assure you, it's not even close to extinction." His soft words make her body melt, and for a few moments she swears she can feel the pull of the Earth, dragging her into his arms. They hand at his sides, and she stares at them for a moment, wishing they were wrapped around her. The table next to her suddenly laughs at something Finn had said while she was distracted, and she shakes herself out of her lovesick thoughts. She stands up, and grabs Finn's hand, tuning back into the conversation. He squeezes back, and glances down at her with a small smile before turning back to the women. "So," one of the women says, "Do you do shows?" Finn frowns in confusion, "Shows?" The women giggle, and Albany feels bile rise in her throat. "You know," one says with a flirty smile, "Like, stripper shows?" Albany chokes as the women laugh, and Finn's eyes widen. She squeezes Finn's hand so hard he winces. He forces a warm smile to the women, and Albany feels her love for him surge once again. He can speak to anyone about anything, and he will capture their attention, their adoration. It's part of the reason she fell in love with him. "Unfortunately not, ladies," he says kindly, and Albany tries to hide her grin against his shoulder, leaning into him, "But I do study medicine at university," he smiles once again, "I can't sell my body to you, but i can help make your grandchildren feel better in a few years when i become a paediatrician." Albany lets out a snort, and the women narrow their eyes in disdain. The laughter escapes Albany, and she desperately tries to hold it back. The warm aroma surrounding the table of women disappears as they glare. "I'm only 45," the one with the pink shirt says, "And I'm the oldest here." Finn nods sadly as if she's just told him that her puppy died. Albany expects him to say he's sorry for her loss as she sees the pitying look in his eyes. "I know," he says instead. The laughter rushes out of Albany's lips once again, and this time she can't stop it. She squeals with laughter as the women stare up at Finn in shock, and he grins back. When Albany's knees become weak, Finn puts his arm around her waist and guides her to his car, smiling to himself. Albany only manages to stop her laughter after 5 minutes of driving, and she wipes her eyes with a smile. Finn stops at a red light, and turns to shine His Smile upon her. She stares at him for a few moments, and he stares back. "I am intoxicatingly in love with you," she whispers to him. He smiles softly before he kisses her.

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fangirlspammer · 4 years

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Journey to the Past pt. 2

Okay so this took me longer than expected, mainly because I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. As you can tell I’ve turned it into a Jack x Reader fic because it came easier. Not my favorite chapter, but I hope you all enjoy it.

Warning there is still some sensitivity in the beginning of this chapter

Jack took a deep breath, tightening her grip on the paperwork she held to her chest, as she stood outside of the interrogation room. She kept replaying the last time she saw this man in her head over and over again, and everytime it ended the same way. She placed her hand on the door knob and inhaled sharply before opening the door and walking inside. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she made her way to the chair and sat down. She could feel his eyes boring into her, but neither of them said a word.

“William Jenson, convicted of murdering Lieutenant Finnley,” Jack began to read his file ignoring the way he stared at her as though expecting some sort of special treatment. “Three witnesses claimed they saw you with her at the bar the night she was murdered. You two had a fight,” she looked up as his hand came to rest on hers. She pulled away quickly as though he had burned her, her eyes silently pleading with him not to do this.

“So that’s how it’s going to be?” He finally spoke up, searching her face for some answers.

“I don’t know what you expected,” she cleared her throat. “Special treatment?”

“No,” he sighed and sat back in the seat now. “I hoped you would at least hear me out.”

Jack sat a little taller and crossed her arms now. “I don’t see why you couldn’t just tell the other Agent your side of things. Why me?”

“Because you know me,” he answered simply, and Jack couldn’t help but scoff. “Oh, c'mon Jack. You know me! You know I couldn’t lay a hand on someone!”

“Like you didn’t lay a hand on me?” Her words were cold and cut through him like a knife. She didn’t care. “Give me one good reason why I should believe a word you say. Why I shouldn’t do everything in my power to put you in prison? After what you did?”

“That was along time ago,” he frowned and adjusted in his seat once more. “I haven’t laid a hand on anybody since then.”

Lies. Jack slammed down the folder and pointed to the papers in front of her. “You’ve been in and out of rehab and anger management classes since I’ve seen you. I’m the agent here, Jenson, remember? I have your file.”

“Alright, but I didn’t kill her! I couldn’t kill anybody!” He snapped.

“Then tell me what happened!”

Jack tried her best to remain cool through all of this, but it wasn’t easy. Listening to his side of things was harder than she expected it to be, especially when she didn’t know if he was to be believed. Gibbs tapped on the window and she breathed a sigh of relief as she gathered the files and left the room. Gibbs was waiting outside for her.

“You okay, Jack?” He asked with concern.

“I told you not to send me in there,” she snapped at him and shoved the files into his arms before storming off.

You knocked on the door of Jack’s office needing to talk about a case the team was working on. Lieutenant Abigail Finnley, raped and then murdered outside of a bar, their only suspect was Commander William Jenson. You had needed Jack’s help working on a profile for this man, and you had yet to be informed of his interrogation. Word of mouth was that Jack had been the one to interrogate him, but everybody seemed to be tight lipped about the rest. You knocked again, but there was still no answer. That was strange. You hadn’t seen her leave. You reached for the handle and it was unlocked, so you decided to poke your head in for a moment. Darkness. There was no sign of anybody, that was until you began to back out with a confused look on your face.

“In here, Y/N,” you heard the small voice come from across the room, but it sounded off.

Suddenly everything about this was unsettling to you. You walked in, turning on your phones flashlight, and made your way over to the blonde hugging her knees on the sofa. Your heart broke at the sight. In all of the time you had known her you had never seen her this way.

“Jack?” You proceeded with caution, your hand reached out and rested on her knee. “What is it?” No answer. “Does this have to do with the interrogation?”

That seemed to catch her attention and her head shot up to look at you. “Who told you about that?”

Quickly you shook your head trying to assure her of how little you actually knew. “I just know you interrogated him. Everybody seems to be walking on eggshells about it though,” you looked to her for a reaction. The only hint of light peeking through the blinds just enough to allow you to catch her reaction. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jack had barely opened up to you about her past, despite the relationship you had been in for the past 6 months. You knew that she had been tortured in Afghanistan and that she had found the man who had done it. You knew about the scars she kept covered on her back, but you knew that there was more to her than what she had shared.

“Gibbs, actually, sent me up here,” you admitted when she didn’t answer right away, and caught the look of surprise on her face. You chuckled dryly and sighed as you sank further into the sofa beside her. The three of you hadn’t exactly been, what could be described as ‘close’, since you and Jack had gotten together. “I was just as surprised. He’s just worried, and honestly that has me worried,” you admit and take her hand. She is watching your thumb caress her in slow circles and entwined your fingers.

“I was once involved with the man I interrogated,” her voice was raw and raspy as she began to admit the truth about her past to you for the first time. It was obvious she had been crying and that only amplified your concern. You moved a little closer. “It was just before I joined the army. He was my recruiter, but I was living out of my car then and he gave me a place to stay,” she spoke slowly and with caution. “I was pregnant and needed somewhere to go,” you could feel your eyes widen, but quickly recovered as she continued. This was the first you had heard about this. “After I gave my daughter up he changed. He became violent. At first it was just a lot of talk, but slowly it escalated into something physical,” her voice began to waver and you held her hand tightly in your own. “Until one day I found something of mine I thought I had lost months ago in his drawer. When I confronted him he tried to pin me down, but I fought him and was able to get out. I haven’t seen him since that day.”

You took in everything she had just shared with you. It was all a lot to process. Jack had a daughter somewhere in this world and she had been through more than you were ever aware of. You moved closer and lifted her chin gently so that she was looking at you. “I’m so sorry that happened to you Jack. I’m glad you told me though,” a smile formed on your lips.

“The only other person who knows is Vance,” she confided and gave your hand a squeeze this time.

“Jack,” it took you a moment to find the right words as you tried to process all of this. “I’m glad you told me,” your voice came out as a sort of whisper.

It wasn’t until Jack’s nose brushed against yours that you realized how close the two of you had become. She was smiling sadly at you and your hand came up to caress her cheek. The two of you getting lost in the moment, your lips brushing over hers ever so gently. You could feel butterflies in your stomach, you got them everytime you kissed her. You hoped that that feeling never went away. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and it opened causing the two of you to pull away rather quickly. Even though you’re relationship was not exactly a secret, the two of you didn’t want to flaunt it around the office. It wasn’t the fellow agents you were worried about, it was just Gibbs. It was no secret that he and Jack had been a thing before you and Jack had gotten together, but he had broken things off. You just happened to be there for your friend to pick up the pieces when it led to more than that.

“Gibbs,” Jack stood up quickly and pushed down her skirt. She walked over to her desk and turned on the lamp for some light. She watched as he looked between the two of you, and so she cleared her throat. “I’m not going back in there.”

Gibbs tossed some folders on Jack’s desk and shook his head. “Need you to go over these.”

“Haven’t I done enough for you?” it was obvious she was still upset at him for pushing her into that interrogation. You noticed, of course you had. You had also noticed the annoyed expression on Gibbs’ face.

“If you had I wouldn’t be here,” his voice was firm and he started to leave.

You couldn’t stand watching this anymore. He had been this way for months now when all you and Jack were trying to do was move on. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

“Y/N,” Jack looked to you wide eyed and shook her head. She didn’t want trouble, but you couldn’t just watch Gibbs treat her this way.

“No Jack,” you shook your head and clenched your fists at your side, standing your ground. “She’s doing her best under the circumstances and you need to back off,” you couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your breath. You were going to pay for that later. “I get that you’re upset with us, but you broke things off with her. You don’t have to take it out on us now.”

“Enough!” Jack was the one to put an end to all of this. She waved her arms in a stopping motion and flicked on the lights angrily. You couldn’t tell who she was mad at this time. “Y/N, I think you should go,” she whispered. As you started to protest she cut you off. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Don’t bother coming in tomorrow,” Gibbs looked to you with such authority. You wanted to argue but stormed out and slammed the door instead.

“Woah, Y/N you look pissed,” Nick pointed out as you began to pack up your desk.

You ignored him, and you ignored the stares from McGee and Ellie. You weren’t exactly in the best mood and verbalizing it would only make things worse. You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to see Ellie looking at you concerned.

“Don’t,” you shook your head and brushed her off. “I’ll see you Thursday,” you muttered and before anybody could question you, you were gone.

#maria bello #jack sloane #leroy jethro gibbs #ncis cbs #ncis fandom #ncis #jacqueline sloane #jack sloane x reader #agent gibbs #jethro gibbs #Gibbs #mark harmon

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lurkernolonger · 7 years

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Siren (3/4)

Hey friends. Here is the penultimate chapter. I started off so excited for this AU and now, half way in, the struggle has been real. I think I jumped the gun and ran with it without any real planning and, wow, was that stupid. That being said, it's been getting a lot of support from the emus (though that is nothing new; you guys are too lovely) so thank you! This was my favourite chapter, but after reading it about 238 times I’m not so sure anymore. Sorry if it’s shit. x

Trigger warning: Descriptions of fire.

It's their fourth date in three weeks. If it was up to Finn there wouldn't have been a day without seeing her, but his work schedule keeps conflicting with hers. He loves his job but it doesn't exactly afford him enough personal time. In fact after tonight will be a four day stretch of 12 hour shifts, all of which will keep him away from Rae. Finn hates that. They've only just gotten into a groove with one another; to a point where she doesn't hesitate to touch him and he's stopped profusely perspiring around her. Finn worries the time apart will make them lose momentum from the direction they're hurtling. And he means hurtling. Finn's never wanted to move this fast with anyone before. He can't get enough of her, doesn't think he ever will. It's absurd that even when she's right there, hand in his, he's thinking of ways to get closer, and closer still. They haven't talked about labels or exclusivity, but to him there's no one else and he hopes to whatever higher power there is that it's the same for her.

They're walking to Rae's from dinner after a lazy afternoon of browsing through the record shop and stealing kisses behind album covers. In all his brooding about being away from her, Finn hasn't realized he's been silently frowning at the ground.

“You alright?” Rae shakes their joined hands a little to get his attention.

“Yeah, soz.” Finn gives her a smile before dropping her hand to tuck her right into his side. “Just thinking how shit it's gonna be not seeing you for a while.”

“It's only a week.”

They've reached her building and Finn spins her so she's angled on the stone wall, hands moving under her jacket to cup her waist. “S'too long,” he mumbles against her skin as he nuzzles into her neck. “Mmm. Maybe you'll just have to set fire to something to get me to come rescue you.” He peppers tiny kisses along her jawline and when he feels her hands thread through his hair he circles his arms around her to pull her tight against him.

Rae moves both hands to his neck and uses her hold to push his head away so she can look at him. He's sure she must feel how his blood is rushing through his jugular. “Are you asking me to commit arson, Finnley?!” she asks with dramatized indignation.

“Mmhm. I'd visit you in jail and everything. Think of the conjugal visits.” Finn waggles his brows at her and she throws her head back in mirth, affording him another chance to assault her throat. He feels her laughter rumble through his chest and he's certain he's never been this happy.

“You're awful.” Rae giggles, before playfully biting the apple of his cheek.

Finn wrinkles his nose and pulls her even closer. Always closer. “Awful...ly cute? Fit? Handsome?”

Rae shakes her head, lips caught between her teeth to keep the grinning at bay. “Nope, just awful.” Finn pouts and Rae presses her thumb to his bottom lip before leaning forward to capture it between her own. It's meant to be chaste, but then Finn's tongue snakes it's way into her mouth and it's anything but quick. Rae's the one to pull away, taking a steadying breath with her. Finn touches his forehead to hers as she plays with the lapel of his coat. “Do you want to come up for a bit?”

He's never been inside her flat before, and he finds that all he can imagine about it is the various pieces of furniture he could lay her down on. It makes him nervous to think about her chairs, her sofa, her bed. Finn's never thought twice about sleeping with a woman he's been dating before, never worried about the first time being just right, but this is different. Rae is different. She's not some first meet fuck; far from it. Their first kiss after their first date had made him rue the fact that he needed oxygen. He was certain had he not had to breathe he would have happily stayed attached to her for hours. It was worth a thousand embarrassments, and he had gained another when she gently chuckled at his awestruck wordless staring after he'd regretfully pulled away. He knew then that Rae was the last of his firsts: dates, kisses, loves.

“Finn?” Rae's voice is quiet now, hesitant even, and he realizes he hasn't answered. “It's alright if you don't want -”

“I do! Fuck, yes. I really really do,” he rushes out, words tripping over reassurance. Smooth, Finn. He pecks the tip of her nose, a physical full stop to his declaration, then moves to kiss her on the mouth so her eyes will close and maybe she won't see how flustered he feels. Rae kisses him back in kind, and Finn wonders if he's imagining the tiny tremble of her lips.

Rae leads him upstairs with a quick hello to her elderly neighbour from the floor below, Mrs. Dewhurst, who shoots Finn a warning glare before shuffling down the corridor. Once they're behind her door Finn's nerves go into overdrive. He knew she was brilliant, but being in her space proves that Rae is his actual soul mate. The place is so her and it's uncanny how much of her is just like him. They have the same posters, the same vinyls in the same crates, the same brand of beer, the same issues of the same magazines stacked on coffee tables from the same shop. The idea that someone who fits him so perfectly has existed this whole time is ridiculous, and he finds he's irrationally frustrated with the universe for not meeting her sooner.

They talk and laugh until the evening turns to stars but Finn doesn't spend the night. As much as he wants to stay, he won't let their first time be followed by him rushing out for work. He tells himself it's for her sake, but he knows between them she is the stronger one and he couldn't – wouldn't – leave her come morning. He does, however, reach for her hips and dips and lips but his hands are hungry for much more than that. Finn figures maybe if he holds her tight enough his volition will press into her skin like his fingers do and she'll feel what he does. So he allows his mouth to do the convincing; kissing her into her chairs, her sofa, her bed and eventually, reluctantly, the front door.

“That was the side, and you fucking know it!”

“Are you blind, mate? That was the corner!”

“I reckon it was the edge.”

“Well does the edge count as the surface or the side?”

Finn shakes his head and chuckles at Chop and the other lads who have been arguing over a game of table tennis for the entire duration of Champagne Supernova playing through his headphones. He saw the rally and knows Chop deserves the point but decides to let them squabble, returning to the notebook in front of him. It's the second round of his 12 hour shifts and he's spent his down time compiling a track list for a mixtape. Finn tells himself it's just another one targeted for a certain mood, but can't deny the only mood he's been feeling is head in the fucking clouds happy. He defends himself internally over the fact that more than half the songs are about a woman, but when one of the others passes too close he snaps the notebook shut anyway. He doesn't need the ribbing. Chop had given him enough of that when bloody Archie had told him about Finn's night with Rae. Apparently they had that bet (or in the case, lack there of) going as well. Wankers.

The alarm blares overhead and all games and lists are abandoned for coats and helmets. They pile into the truck and it's warning sound peals loudly as they veer out of the garage. Finn inhales deep and focuses on staying calm.

When he first signed up for service at 18 it was just a job. He wasn't interested in uni and his GCSEs made the requirements. The physical test had been a breeze and he was always good with tools. His dad had been thrilled that he was helping the community, and his nan would boast to all her friends that her grandson was saving lives. It was all well and good until the first fire.

It was a tiny home on the outskirts of town. An elderly man living alone had forgotten to shut off the hob and a grease fire broke. They had managed to save most of the house, but the man had passed in hospital from smoke inhalation. Finn had nightmares for weeks; the images of fumes and flames and blackened skin haunting him. It was a reality kick in the bollocks, but instead of quitting Finn had buckled down, trained harder, learned more, determined to do whatever it took to never have that outcome again.

Now, years later, his death count is still at one and it isn't just a job anymore, it's a duty. One that requires him to remember that anything could be waiting at the other end of the siren.

"Quick ride this time, boys," Chop announces from the driver's seat.

Finn glances out the window and notices familiar surroundings. His stomach twists uncomfortably as they pass the cafe and head up the road. "Where?" Finn asks. The others exchange worried glances at the shake in his voice. "Chop, where?"

Chop rattles off an address and Finn's chest starts to heave. "Who called it in?!" he demands.

Chop gives him a concerned look through the rear view mirror before glancing down. “According to dispatch it was a tenant named Rachel Earl."

No. NO. Nonononono... Whether he's voicing it out loud or it's just screaming in his head Finn's not sure. From the looks of the others it's both. His mind is swirling with possibilities as he recalls all of his stupid jokes about eulogies and fake fires and he might actually vomit at the thought that it could be real. Finn senses panic rise like bile in his throat and he feels like the fire is right there, inside the truck, because his lungs are burning and he can't breathe. Wide eyes are cast to him all around and he sees creased brows and moving mouths but all he hears is his pounding heart and the deafening cry of the siren. Chop has pulled over and Finn pushes his way out. He feels tears prick his eyes as he looks up at Rae's building, the air is blurred with smog and an angry orange glow illuminates the windows of her floor. Finn feels hands grabbing for his arms but all protocol is out the window as he pushes them off and runs towards the building. People are yelling and crying and running all around him but it's only one face he's looking for.

"Rae! Rae! RAE!!" His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, jarring and desperate, and reflects the frenzy he feels. He doesn't see her anywhere and his frantic eyes only catch a glimpse of a livid Chop coming towards him. He can't stop now though. Not until he finds her. Not until she's safe. Not until he knows she won't be number two.

Finn darts for the entrance, only pausing to hold it open for a woman and her child who come running out. He's taking the stairs two, three at a time searching every corner for anything, anyone. The higher he climbs the hotter it gets. The air is so thick with heat that he's practically choking but he can't tell if it's on smoke or fear. When he reaches her floor he nearly topples back down the stairs from the sight. Aggressive flames lick the length of the hall as fumes curl tightly in the air. The flats have their doors wide open and he takes it as a good sign; they'd left, escaped. He knows he should turn around, get back to the crew, back to safety, back to cleaner air and cooler temperatures, but then he sees one shut door and the need for reassurance wins out as he stumbles towards it. Rae's door. The same door he'd kissed her against but two days ago. Finn tests the handle and finds it hot but not unbearable and he kicks at the lock until it gives. His eyes sting as he takes in the room. The atmosphere is acrid with melted plastic and for a nanosecond he mourns the loss of the vinyl but his next thought is that he would gladly destroy his entire collection to know Rae was safe.

“RAE?! RAE?!” If his voice was different before, it's unrecognizable now. It's rough and raspy and claws at the dense air demanding an answer. Finn moves where he can, watching all the things that were so her, and by extension him, catch and crumble in the flaming waves. He's coughing now, dizzy; the room and his lungs deprived of oxygen. Suddenly he hears his name, loud and almost as desperate. Finn turns to find the source only to see a support beam come crashing from the ceiling blocking his exit. He hears his name one more time, closer now, before his vision goes black and his body succumbs to the pulsing heat.

As usual, please let me know if you want to be added or removed :)

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#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #mmfd fanfiction #mmfd fan fiction #mmfd fanfic #Rinn #siren #My Mad Fat Fandom #my mad fat diary #i wrote this

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lurkernolonger · 7 years

Text

B for Bollocks (2/2)

Hey guys! Thank you again for all the kind words about this story! As opposed to part 1, this second half was a struggle for me. I went back and forth with two endings and I still don’t know if I made the right choice. Honestly I am not fully happy with it, but who doesn’t doubt themselves right? Plus if I agonize over it anymore I’ll never complete it. I’m going away at the weekend for a month long holiday and I didn’t want to wait until I got back to post it, so here it is flaws and all. Hope you enjoy! xx

Archie had rung him five times, Chop had knocked for him twice, and Rae had done zero of either in the past four days (and that was the count that mattered most).

Finn wasn’t angry with her, never could be really. It wasn’t her fault she was brilliant and he was a coward. He had watched in jealous anguish as Archie dated her and told himself that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Until it did.

Finn was gone on her almost immediately, but by the time he actually realized it his best mate had moved in. He had been so relieved when they didn’t work out. The closer Finn got to Rae, the closer he stepped to the edge of falling hopelessly for her. That one afternoon in his room, when she had confessed about France, about her scars, she had seemed so afraid of his reaction. Rae’s eyes had filled with tears as she folded into herself and away from him. She had babbled about how she would understand if he didn’t want her around, if he wanted her to leave and stay away, but all it did was make him want her more. She was so brave, so strong, so wrong about herself. Finn had held her close and whispered that no matter what he always wanted her around. From that moment she was his, and he’d tried to stake his claim in little touches or looks, listening sessions in his room and mix-tapes full of subliminal messages. Finn was crap with words and he knew actually voicing it out loud ran the risk of losing everything. He’d been such a dick to her in the beginning he was just happy to have her as a friend; happy she trusted him enough with her real self. So he let his feelings rest, let the steady tingle in his skin settle as he waited for some kind of sign; his hope being buoyed by how she said his name or left her scent lingering on his pillows. Evidently, he had waited too long and deep down he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

But that didn’t stop him from avoiding everybody, opting to sulk in his room instead. And sulking is really all he could do. He couldn’t even appreciate his records anymore because everything reminded him of Rae; how she hummed along with Morrissey, mouthed the words to The Stone Roses, and swayed her hips to Primal Scream (she probably thought he didn’t notice, but he definitely did; the visual aiding him in at least a dozen wanks). Not to mention Spaceman. After leaving the pub he had bitterly shoved it in the back of the furthest crate, darkly muttering “our song, my arse”. But it was that very thought that stopped him from hurling it like a frisbee towards the tip. She never liked Radiohead much, but he couldn’t fall back on that either because once Brandon had showed up in a Thom Yorke shirt and that’s all Finn could picture when No Surprises came on. “Tosser didn’t even have the decency to have crap taste in music,” Finn grumbled to himself before shutting off his speakers. He looked around his room for something else to do, but again all he saw were the places Rae had sat or stood or touched, and he knew it was no use.

It was midday Friday which meant the gang was most likely at the chippy. Finn looked over at the calendar pinned to his wall where he had surreptitiously marked down Rae’s work schedule to see that she was off, which meant she would be there too. He wasn’t sure if he was excited or sick at that. Usually he barely lasted 24 hours without seeing her but now being around her meant seeing B-for-Bollocks-Bastard-Brandon too. Finn sat contemplating going, images of slapping Brandon’s smug face with a fresh from the fryer battered sausage swirling in his mind, when his stomach growled angrily making his decision for him. Can’t avoid them forever. With a huff he grabbed his flannel and helmet and clopped down the stairs.

Finn paused outside the chippy window. The gang was sat at the same table where they had assembled the day before Knebworth, the day he’d punched Big G, the day he should have walked Rae home and told her that Chop might as well have printed her name on the front of Finn’s shirt because, really, he was more excited to see her than Oasis. Rae was sat at the end of the table and the hungry animal in his stomach morphed into a thousand restless butterflies. Fuck, if she didn’t somehow get prettier in the last 72 hours. She was wearing her I Wanna Be Adored shirt and a genuine smile; two of his favourite things to see on her. Again he thought of another lost opportunity: that day in the park where he’d been so eager to apologize he’d forgotten he was half naked. Then he’d gone and made that garbled noise in the back of his throat after telling her she was sound. Not to mention his I-realize-this-is-too-long-but-I’m-busy-sniffing-your-hair hug. The memory made him cringe. “Such a twat,” he mumbled to himself, turning to get back on his scooter, but a loud bang and the vibration of the shop window made him jump. Chop’s gap tooth grin at startling him immediately changed to one of a stern parent as he brandished a finger and said “GET THE FUCK IN HERE” loud enough for Finn to hear through the thick glass. Well he had no choice now, he’d been spotted. Hitting his helmet against his thigh, he went for the door. Chop grabbed him by the back of the neck as soon as he was in arms reach.

“The hell have you been?!” Chop admonished, steering him towards the table. Finn shrugged. Not like he could say ’Oh, just at home being miserable and getting strange looks off my dad.’

Looking up he noticed an empty seat in front of Rae, Archie next to her and, surprisingly, Brandon beside him. Finn furrowed his brow at that. If Rae was his he’d be sat close enough to hand feed her chips and feel her breath on his neck. That image quickly turned X rated in his mind, and he had to shake his head to rid himself of the poorly timed fantasy. Not now, he told himself as he slipped into the empty chair.

“Finn!” Izzy waved at him enthusiastically, her red hair bouncing happily. “We missed you, where ya been?”

“Yeah where’d you disappear to?” Chloe’s tone was slightly accusatory and it made him hunch his shoulders.

Shit, really can’t avoid this question. “Just around” he shrugged again. Finn looked over at Archie and was met with crossed arms and an icy glare. I guess I deserve that. “Archer”

Archie looked him over, probably assessing how much Finn had punished himself already before determining how much more crap he deserved for blanking him for days. He must have read the lines under Finn’s eyes from lack of sleep and the frustratingly skewed fringe like one of his history books because his shoulders lost their menace, and that sympathetic smile was back. “You alright?” Archie asked. Two words with a hundred annotations. Was he alright? Finn genuinely didn’t know, so he let his head do a weird shake/nod/shrug thing to neither confirm nor deny.

The table’s conversation continued but Finn noticed Rae had gone quiet since he’d walked in. She was looking down at her tray as she swirled a chip in curry sauce. “Hey Rae” Finn managed, but not without his voice cracking on the end of her name. Fuck will I ever not be a complete pleb around her? He cleared his throat to recover, but her eyes shot up to him and she actually looked relieved before that genuine smile was back.

“Finnley. I was starting to think you’d left the country, or at least Lincolnshire,” she teased in a hushed tone, before pushing her cone of chips towards him in offering.

“Thought about it,” he said honestly, grabbing a chip as a distraction. He felt her nudge his foot with hers under the table and he looked up to find her smiling softly.

“You’re alright though?” To that he nodded. If it meant her eyes wouldn’t look so sad, he would make himself alright. “And uh…we’re..well, are we alright?” Her voice was quiet and hesitant and Finn suddenly felt incredibly guilty for running out on her without explaining. But how do you explain your heart in your throat and your stomach falling out of your arse?

“Yeah. ‘Course,” and he let his foot nudge her back. Her smile was wide this time, reaching her eyes until she bit her lip and nodded. For Finn it was one of those moments; the kind that mutes and blurs everything else around them and makes him feel like maybe he gets what love is.

He tore his gaze away to catch his breath and see if Archie had caught their exchange, but instead was met with Brandon looking over at them. His forehead was creased with a look of consternation before his eyes met Finn’s. Finn made sure to hold his gaze firmly until Brandon gave him a half nod and turned back to conversation with the others.

“Right. Now that this bellend is back,” Chop’s voice rose over the din of the table as he pointed a half eaten saveloy in Finn’s direction, “we can discuss the rave tomorrow.”

Saturday morning had Finn certain that he wasn’t going to go. Last night he’d dreamt of the rave: a pulsing room with swirling colours and warm bodies, and at the centre of it all Brandon was kissing Rae. Finn had woken up in a cold sweat, a hard pain in his chest and an even harder determination to not subject his reality to that gutting scene. That is until Chop showed up at his with glow sticks, whistles and a threat to tell Gary about the time they’d nicked his expensive scotch and gashed the side of his car trying to make the curve of the McDonalds drive thru. They had been able to get their burgers and convince Gary it must have been vandalism, escaping any punishment. It was the miracle of their then 15 year old lives, and the only reason Finn wasn’t still grounded, so he had no choice but to get ready.

The ride there was loud and the gang had so much energy it boosted Finn’s enthusiasm. He hollered along, drinking cans with Archie, glad that he ended up in a separate car from Rae and Brandon. But when he sees her emerge from Chop’s Renault 5 looking like some golden glittery goddess, he wishes so badly that he had been pressed against her in the back seat until the sequins of her jacket left oddly shaped imprints on his skin. Chop offers him something from a baggy and whatever it is, he’s taking it.

They’re dancing now, just him and Rae. Everyone else has split off and Finn doesn’t care or even wonder where they are because she has his whistle in her mouth and her hands above her head and she looks about as loose as he feels. She’s not touching him at all, but the string of the whistle might as well be connected right to his soul because he feels completely tethered to her. This is how it should be. Him and Rae, happy, together. He’s lost all inhibitions to intoxication and is about to tell her just how right this feels, but then Izzy is pulling her away and his whistle drops to his chest and settles against his heartache. Reality drips down him like the sweat on his brow; he’d almost confessed to a girl with a boyfriend. She’s with Brandon, he reminds himself. After watching Rae get swallowed by the crowd, Finn moves to the back of the room where it’s slightly quieter, seeking the bar to shoot down anything that will replace the sinking in his stomach with a fiery burn. But he doesn’t make it because he’s stopped dead in his tracks and what he’s seeing has successfully set his whole body alight with fury.

Brandon is leaned against a wall in an intimate embrace with some brunette in a tight dress, his mouth on her neck as her hands move up his shirt. Blind rage surges through Finn and the next thing he knows he has Brandon by the collar and is shoving him up against the brick, the brunette cast off and forgotten.

“What the fuck, Finn!”

“YOU SCUMMY PIECE OF SHIT!!” Finn seethes as he grabs him close, only to slam him back into the wall repeatedly. “YOU DON’T FUCKING DESERVE HER!” Finn’s whole body is shaking and he’s sure he’s never felt this angry before.

Brandon’s hands are at Finn’s wrists, and he manages to shift his weight and throw him off. Finn launches himself forward, catching Brandon by the middle and tackling him to the ground. They’re tussling and rolling over one another trying to get the upper hand, unaware of the crowd building around them. “Do you even know how fucking lucky you are?! You have her and that’s how you treat her?!” Finn is breathing hard and trying to land punches at any available spot but his determination to talk through the fight has made him sloppy and Brandon is too quick. Soon he’s being straddled, and Brandon’s hands are pinning his arms to the ground.

“What the fuck is this about?! Did you know that girl or summat?” Brandon asks through heaving breaths. This has Finn flailing, determined to escape his hold so he can murder the thick son of a bitch. He’s rolled them over now so he looms over Brandon and his right arm pulls past his ear to deliver the final crushing blow, when Brandon gives him a verbal hit that’s harder than any punch.

“I’m not with Rae!!”

Finn’s whole body slackens and his arm falls to his side. “You what?”

“That’s what this is about right? Rae?” Brandon still has his hands up in defence, bracing himself for another attack. Finn just stares at him dumbly. He is so fucking lost right now. Neither of them has moved but then a girl in the crowd breaks their intense stare down.

“Are you two gonna fight or what?” They both turn to her, and finally take notice of the ring of people surrounding them.

“Take your clothes off first!!” her friend demands before falling into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah if we had some jelly this could get really hot” another standby voice yells out.

A weak scattered chorus of “punch him, punch him, punch him” breaks out but when neither of them make a move, the crowd dissipates. Finn rolls off Brandon and sits next to him, arms resting on his knees.

“Say it again,” he demands.

“I’m not dating Rae”

“But…you…she-”

“I like her. I thought maybe she liked me too, but-”

“What?” Finn’s mind was swirling. With booze and drugs and bruises he just couldn’t grasp what was happening.

“She said she didn’t want things to get weird since we worked together, but I figured there had to be another reason. Then I saw how you two looked at each other and…” Brandon trailed off and shrugged to finish his thought.

“But what about-”

“Look, Nelson” Brandon interrupted. He sounded exasperated and Finn clocked an odd look in his eye. It was almost sad. “I never took you for a cock block but that’s the second girl you’ve gotten in the middle of. Just go talk to Rae, yeah?” And with that he got up and disappeared into the crowd.

Finn’s hands shake as he dismounts his scooter and looks up at Rae’s house. After his fight with Brandon, he’d searched for her for ages, only to hear from Archie that she had gone off to help Chop. When he asked with what, Archie had slurred through an explanation of Rae being the “daddy” and something about that twat dealer from Dalehead snogging a fairy. It had only left Finn more confused, and by the time they made it to where they had parked up, Chop’s car was gone. Finn had driven him and a queasy Archie straight to the chippy in hopes she’d be there, but when the others (bar Brandon) arrived for the debrief, Chop explained that he had dropped Rae home a few hours ago. Finn had promptly ran home to shower (no way was he going to talk to her smelling like a distillery) and grab his bike. With a deep breath he heads towards the front door, before thinking better of waking Linda at this early an hour. Instead he climbs up the drain pipe and knocks gently on Rae’s window. After a few minutes Rae appears on the other side, confused, before she unlocks the window and opens it for him.

“Finn? What the bloody hell are you doing out there?” She whisper yells.

“Is it alright if I come in?”

“Uh…yeah okay. Just don’t break your neck alright? Don’t need my mum waking up to a dead body on the lawn.” She moves aside to let him in and once he’s safely got feet to carpet she’s asking “thought we were meant to meet at the chippy?”

“I needed to talk to you about summat important. In private” Finn says, taking a step closer to her. A worried look comes over her face before she nods and gestures for him to continue. “Rae…I…” he trails off, unsure of where to start, so he takes another step so they’re toe to toe.

“What?” her voice is so quiet and he can tell she’s bracing herself for whatever is about to happen.

Finn’s not sure getting this close was a good idea. He can smell her shampoo and his words die on his lips when he feels her chest rising and falling against his. His body knows what it wants though and suddenly he has one hand in her hair while the other cups her cheek, stroking her face gently. Rae’s eyes look wet as her gaze moves to Finn’s lips which are only an inch away from hers.

“Rae…”

“Yeah…”

“I came to tell you that I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing her.

Finn has imagined kissing her thousands of times. Endless variations of how it would go, who would make the initial move, which lip he would devour first (he always ended on her bottom one, it was just so plump), how long it would last, what noises she would make; but he never knew it could feel like this. No other girl made it feel like this. He could have never imagined how perfectly her mouth slotted with his, or the thrill that shot through him when he felt her fist his shirt and pull him closer, or the way they melted together when their tongues touched. Finn’s toes curled as his mind went blank while the rest of him felt so full. Too full; of words, of want, of need. At that moment kissing her became a necessity. World War III could be breaking out right next to them and all he would hear and see and feel was one Rae Earl.

Finn feels her smile against his lips before she pulls away slightly. Her mouth is still close enough that her lips brush his as she asks “why the fuck did we wait so long to do that?” He allows a breath of a laugh out before he’s on her again and, like at the chippy and the thousand other times he’s felt it before, it’s one of those moments. Their moments; when the rest of the world shifts away and it’s just the two of them. But this time Finn knows for sure what love is.

They’re in his room, on his bed, kissing. It’s been three weeks since the rave and they haven’t really stopped kissing, despite the protests of the gang. They haven’t gone further than that, but Finn’s not complaining. The fact that he gets to hold her by the waist and put his tongue in her mouth and call her his girl is amazing enough to him. So when Rae’s hands start to creep up the back of his shirt, and he feels her nails gently rake at his skin while her tongue swirls against his Adam’s apple, he isn’t ashamed to admit he’s already about to mess his jeans.

Finn dips his head, his mouth greedy to get back to her delicious lips. Her arms move up so her hands are in his hair and he takes the opportunity to slip his own hands under her top. She hums against his mouth and he takes it as his cue to continue. Finn’s hands ghost higher, until he can feel the smooth expanse of her back and the tips of his fingers rub the clasp of her bra. Rae shifts to lift her back off the bed and he pulls her with him so they’re both sitting upright. Finn nips her bottom lip before pulling away. He’s pleased to see she’s just as dazed as him, that maybe his kisses are messing with her mind as much as hers do his. Her eyes are half closed and her lips are swollen from his bites and the sight makes him feel like he’s on fire. She gives him a barely there brush of the lips before guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt. Finn looks into her eyes, raises his brows in question, afraid words will brake the sensous air thick around them. Rae comes close, nods against his nose before swiping her tongue across his top lip. He kisses her until he has to move to make way for her shirt and when he sees her breasts spilling out of a lacy teal bra, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stand her in clothes again. His eyes travel from her cleavage, higher until they settle on a necklace. The necklace. B for Brandon’s necklace.

Finn’s certain he’s never lost his arousal faster. The sight of that gold pendant between her collar bones is gut wrenching. He hasn’t seen it since that first day, and after their kiss in her room he was sure he’d never see it again. But all this time it was under her clothes like a secret. Nestled close to the breasts that he’s been fantasizing about. He hasn’t moved and the only thing that shatters his shock is Rae pulling the covers over her. When he looks to her face she seems mortified and her eyes are full of tears.

“Fuck! I knew it. You’re disgusted by me. I can’t believe I let you see me!” Rae grabs for her shirt and stands. Tears fall from her eyes and hit Finn’s hand and he feels the panic rise inside of him.

“No Rae, no! That’s not- Rae!” He’s grabbing for her now but she pulls away and shoves her shirt over her head.

“Please don’t touch me Finn, don’t!”

“Rae listen to me -”

She’s on the floor grabbing her things, frantically searching for her Converse. She’s sobbing and the sound squeezes Finn’s heart like a vice.

“Rae! Listen to me, please! It’s not you! I love how you look, I swear!” Finn knows he’s yelling but he needs her to hear him. She does. She stops mid grab for her backpack and looks up at him. He gets down on his knees so they’re level and grabs her face. “Rae, I love your body. I find you so fucking sexy, believe me. It’s just…I saw the necklace and it was like a punch to the bollocks”

“What?” Confusion clouds over Rae’s face and she pulls out of his hands.

“Brandon’s necklace. Why are you still wearing it?” Finn’s voice brakes with the painful lump in his throat.

“What? The fuck are you talking about Finn?”

Finn sighs heavy, falls back so he’s sitting on his bum, and leans against his bed. “I know it’s from him Rae. B for Brandon.”

It’s quiet for a long moment, he’s staring at his hands because he’s afraid to look at her but when she laughs his head shoots up. The tears are gone and she’s wearing a smile. Finn grimaces at her. He doesn’t see what the hell about this situation could possibly be amusing. Rae shuffles on her knees until she’s in front of him, then swings one leg over to straddle his lap.

“You numpty. This necklace is not from Brandon.”

“What? Then who’s it from?”

Rae bites her lip and her eyes dance across his face as if she’s trying to memorize this moment. “It’s from Karim”

“KARIM?! But I…I don’t..Karim?” He knows he sounds daft but he is thoroughly confused.

“He gave it to me after him and my mum got married in Tunisia. Said he wanted me to feel like part of his family, ‘cause that’s what I am” Rae shrugs and places her hands on Finn’s neck, thumbs rubbing at his jawline. “Sounds cheesy, but it meant a lot to me. It’s the first time someone has wanted to be my dad in any sorta way, you know?” Tears fill her eyes again and Finn moves his arms to circle her waist.

“So-”

“B for Bouchtat, yeah” Rae interrupts and nods, giving him a watery smile. Finn buries his head in her neck, embarrassed.

“More like B for Bloody idiot. Fuck Rae, I’m so sorry. I’m such a dickhead” Finn says against her skin, nuzzling closer, trying to hide how red he’s gone. He’s been so thick about the whole situation.

“Yeah well, I’ve only been telling you that this whole time. Glad you’ve finally admitted it,” Rae laughs as she strokes his hair.

Finn places a kiss on her neck before pulling away, his finger tracing the chain of the necklace. “I really am sorry, Rae. I never want to make you cry. It’s just…the thought of you with anyone else…”

“You must really be an idiot if you think I want anyone else, Finnley. You’re stuck with me now.”

Finn beams and tightens his hold on her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And you don’t even need to give me a necklace,” Rae teases.

“Nah, anyone can get a necklace. I was thinking something more permanent. Like a massive ‘F’ tattoo on your back or summat.” Finn traces the letter above the band of her leggings for show.

“Bollocks to that!”

Finn shakes his head and laughs before pulling her face to his, close enough for their breath to mix. He rubs his nose lightly against hers.

“I love you, girl”

“I love you too, dickhead”

Hours later when Rae is fast sleep against his chest, her bare skin sticking to his, Finn reaches for a biro in his beside drawer and draws a tiny ‘F’ on the inside of her wrist.

The end! Thank you for reading :)

I’m only tagging those who specifically asked. If you want to be added or removed, let me know!

@bitchesbecrazy89 @crystalgiddings1993 @eveerez @hey1tskat1e @kneekeyta @likeashootingstarfades @l88cym @mmfdfanfic @milllott @milymargot @tinakegg

#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #Rinn #my mad fat diary #my mad fat fandom #b for bollocks #mmfd fanfic #mmfd fan fiction #mmfd fanfiction #i wrote this

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no-crap-fm · 7 years

Text

A Good Night’s Sleep

He had the dream again. Running as fast as he could, he just couldn’t ever run fast enough. Dark hair waving just out of reach and he couldn’t catch her. His hand flew up, just about to feel those locks between his fingers. He called her name. Finn eyes snapped open. He was panting in his bed as if he’d just sprinted the length of a football pitch. He put a hand over his heart, trying to slow its incessant beating. Throwing his head back into the pillow he stared at the ceiling. What was going on with him? It had been weeks now. He was exhausted. The same dream kept him from getting any real sleep. The fatigue was effecting his performance at college and on the football field. His teachers were getting cross and his coach was ready to bench him for the next game. His teammates were getting sarky as well. He took a ball to the head at his last practice and got a load of shit in the changing room. His mates weren’t much better. Chop was full up to the teeth with him. Finn would just blow him off and sit in a corner nursing a beer. Izzy was worried about him. She said as much. Finn tried to be nice to her but he was just too tired. Chloe and Archie didn’t know what to do. Chloe’s constant flirting just frustrated him and his rebuffs were getting mean. Arch would just sit in silence. They all knew something was off with Finn but the strop on him was just too severe to fight. Of course Rae and he still spoke. Well, argued was more accurate. He just couldn’t help himself. He really liked Rae, but lately all he could do was smirk and irritate her. He was surprised she kept talking to him anyway. Alone with his thoughts, Finn knew he had reparations to make. He would see the gang at Rae’s in the evening at least. He hoped he’d be in a better mood. Maybe he’d actually get some sleep tonight. The day passed in a fog. Finn tried to have a meal with his dad but he had no appetite. “Ya sure you’re not gettin’ sick, son?” His dad was concerned. Finn shook his head and pushed away from the kitchen table, saying nothing as he went back up to his room. He passed some of the hours going through his music. He selected some tapes to take with him to Rae’s. He scratched Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me taking it off his turntable. Normally, he would have been infuriated. He just sighed, too knackered to care. Trying to rest, he put The Smiths on and climbed back in bed. After a few hours of tossing and turning, Finn got up. Taking a quick shower he returned to his room, packed a bag and walked over to Rae’s. Tripping his way down the streets he made it up the walk to Rae’s front door. The sun had just about set and Finn observed Chop’s car on the street. He could hear the voices of his mates inside. Archie came to the door after he knocked. Archie stood there holding the door open for him. “Ya alright, mate?” He pushed his glasses back up and gave Finn a weak smile. Finn grunted and stepped forward. Archie stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Finn, seriously. Are ya OK?” Shrugging off Archie’s hand Finn passed him muttering. He heard Archie sigh. Finn walked through the entryway to the lounge where everyone was assembled. He heard Rae’s voice before he saw her. “Alright Chop, this is not going to be another gathering of strangers just us and a few friends. Actual friends, Chop.” She was drying her hands with a tea towel as she entered the lounge from the kitchen. Chop was nodding enthusiastically and said, “Right you are, Raemundo. You know best as always.” He waggled his eyebrows and Rae rolled her eyes. Catching sight of Finn, Rae smiled at him and declared, “There’s Mister Grumpy Trousers. Come to manage the music with me?” He smiled. It was the first smile Finn had given anyone all day. Perhaps longer. He felt his chest get tight as he looked at her longer than was acceptable. Rae’s expression changed to one of confusion as Finn stared at her in silence. Shaking his head he said, “Yeah, Rae. I came to help you avoid any musical missteps.” She smirked and shook her head at him. “Well, have at it, then.” She waved to the stereo. Finn crossed the room and took a seat dropping his bag next to him. He started to quietly sort through his tapes. Chloe and Izzy were running around, helping Rae put away anything she didn’t want broken. They all learned a thing or two after Rae’s Sexy Party. Finn felt someone come and sit next to him on the floor. He caught a whiff of apples and knew it was Rae. He kept his focus on his tapes and asked her, “So, what made you want to have another party?” “Just needed an excuse to get a certain grumpy DJ I know to come over.” Rae bumped his shoulder with hers. Finn’s head shot up. He looked at her open mouthed. She laughed at his expression. Shrugging she continued, “Well, my mom and Karim wanted to take my sister to Tunisia to meet his family and since we still have college I stayed home. I just thought the gang could use a break.” Here she stopped and looked around. “I just don’t want it to get as out of control as the last one.” She dropped her eyes to the floor and finished. “Still, some nice memories came from the last one.” Finn watched the smile creep up her cheeks. Was she blushing? He wished she’d look at him. The tightening in his chest came on stronger. His fingers flexed in his lap. He wanted to touch her. Before he knew what he was doing, his fingers were running over the back of Rae’s hand. She didn’t look up and Finn just watched his fingers moving across Rae’s skin. Rae almost whispered, “Finn?” “Yeah?” “Are you alright? You haven’t been yourself lately.” Finn was thankful he was so close to her. She was speaking so softly he could barely hear her. It wasn’t like Rae to sound shy. Releasing a massive sigh, Finn considered his words. He couldn’t tell Rae about his dreams, not yet anyway. Still, he could tell her something. “I haven’t been sleeping.” “Why, Finn?” “I just can’t. I try. I keep waking up and if I do fall asleep I still wake up tired.” Rae put a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Finn. Is everything OK with your dad? Could it be that you’re missing your nan?” Finn smiled at her concern. “Nah. Dad’s fine. Yeah, I miss Nan, but it’s not that either.” “Well, can I help?” Here she raised her eyes to his face. Finn hesitated to look at her. He’d had several ideas about what Rae could do for him but he just wasn’t ready to share them. Meanwhile, he was loving all of this attention from her. Finn barely noticed that other friends of theirs were arriving and the party was underway. He was in a safe, little bubble with Rae. He felt better than he had in weeks. “Ta for that, Rae. But I just need to be able to sleep and I’m not sure what to do anymore.” Finn sighed and rubbed the back of his head. Having a bit of a think, Rae had a suggestion. “Finn, why don’t we take your things upstairs?” “What, now?” He was confused. “Yeah. You don’t seem to be in much of a party mood anyway. Am I wrong?” Finn shook his head in response. No, Rae wasn’t wrong but he really didn’t want to stop talking to her. Clapping her hands on her lap she said, “That’s settled then.” She stood and offered a hand to Finn. He took it and stood next to her. Leaning in she whispered, “We’ll just nip up to my room and get you settled.” She stepped back a little and smiled at him. He smiled back. Again he noted, he hadn’t felt this good in quite some time. Grabbing his bag, he followed Rae up the carpeted stairs. Rae opened her bedroom door and walked in. Finn came up behind and set his bag on the floor by her beanbag. Rae passed him and stepped into the hall. She returned just as quickly with a pillow and blanket in her hands. “Look familiar?” She asked. He smiled. They were the ones she gave him when he slept over during the last party. She brushed past and told him, “Here, you sit yourself down there.” She pointed to the beanbag. “I’ll make up the bed for ya and I’ll make sure no one bothers you, yeah?” Finn wanted to argue but he knew better. Maybe Rae would come and join him after the party was over. He could hope. He watched her carefully move her Care Bears cover and her pillow off to the side. He leaned back in the beanbag and felt his eyes get heavy. The scent of Rae was everywhere in here. He took slow, deep breaths, reveling in it. “Ah, ah, ah. Don’t go to sleep down there, Finnley. You’ll wake up feeling worse than you do now.” She looked at him with her hands on her hips. “Not possible,” he mumbled. She sighed. “I know, Finn. I’ll leave you to it, OK? I hope this helps.” Finn stood, realizing Rae was leaving the room. “Rae?” She turned. “Yeah?” He stepped close to her and wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply, relaxing. He muttered his thanks. She patted his back and stepped out of the embrace. She looked at him for a moment and smiled. “Jesus, Finn, you do look exhausted.” They shared a smile and a small chuckle. Rae reached a tentative hand out and lightly traced one of the dark circles under his eye. “We’ll take care of this, Finn. You’ll be alright.” She dropped her hand and smiled at him again. Stepping toward the door she whispered, “Goodnight, Finn.” He watched her move out the door and into the hall. He felt calm. Removing his toothbrush, Finn crossed to the bath to get ready for bed. Rae was right. He wasn’t up for a party. But time with her was certainly worth the fatigue. Returning to Rae’s room Finn felt dead on his feet. He stumbled out of his boots and clumsily stripped off his clothes. He tried to leave them in a semi-neat pile. He didn’t want to mess up Rae’s room. He’d brought pajamas but was too tired to pull them out. He simply crawled under the covers in his boxers. Rae’s bed was soft, very soft. He felt warm, safe and very comfortable. He hadn’t felt that way in his own bed for the longest time and he still wasn’t sure why. Before he could come up with an explanation the smell of apples coupled with the gentle thrum of music from downstairs lulled him to sleep. The dream came again. Something had changed this time. The same figure was just ahead of him. Their back turned so all he could see was a mass of long, dark hair. He called out. For the first time that he could remember, she turned. Just a little, but Finn could see her profile. Rae He ran and it seemed like she was standing still. She heard him. Rae He called again and reached out a hand. He could almost touch her. A smile came to the part of her face he could see. Rae

“Yeah, Finn?” A hand was resting on his head. Was someone playing with his hair? “Rae?” “Yeah, Finn. I’m right here.” Finn struggled to open his eyes. He groggily looked up. Rae was seated on the bed in her pajamas. Her hand was stroking his fringe. “What’s wrong? I were coming to check on you. You were sleeping so soundly. Did I wake ya? You started saying my name.” She looked so worried. Biting her lip she kept touching him. He was still a bit muddled but he loved it. Shaking his head he tried to sit up a little. Remembering his state of undress he scooted back down into the blankets. He felt a blush heat up his face. “Nah. I’m fine. Just dreamin’, I guess.” Rae rolled her eyes. “If it were about me it must have been a nightmare.” She looked a little sad all of a sudden. Finn’s hand shot out to take hers. “No, it weren’t a nightmare, Rae. It was a nice dream.” He smiled at her, his blush apparent. Rae didn’t know where to look. She couldn’t get any words out. Finn was confused by her nightmare comment. “Rae why would a dream about you be a nightmare?” She shrugged. “Just forget it, Finn.” He pushed. “No, Rae. I want to know.” “Shouldn’t you go back to sleep? Finn it’s only been a few hours.” “Rae, I feel better than I have in weeks. That’s thanks to you. I’ll get back to sleep after you answer my question.” Huffing out a breath Rae dropped her eyes to her hands. Finn was still holding one of them and he began stroking the back of it with his thumb. He wasn’t going to say anything until Rae explained herself. Her comment had woken him up. Finally she started, “Well, anyone would have to be taking the mick if they thought dreaming about a blob like me was anything but a nightmare.” Forgetting he didn’t have a shirt on, Finn sat up, and took both of Rae’s hands in his. “Rae, don’t say things like that. You don’t deserve it.” He pulled on her hands willing her to meet his gaze. She looked up with a watery smile. She added, “Yeah, well Simmy and the Green Lane Gang would say different.” “Rae, why would the opinions of those twats matter to ya?” He was getting angry now. “Because Finn, they can make my life a living hell. I try so hard to stay under the radar but they still manage to torture me.” She looked so sad. Were those tears in her eyes? “Rae, they can’t win. You don’t have to deal with them on your own, you know?” Finn wasn’t going to let this go. “And what’s this about staying under the radar? Rae, you were meant to stand out. There’s no one else like you.” He smiled hopefully at this. Finn knew Rae was amazing. He just had no idea she didn’t feel the same way about herself. “Ah Finn. It’s easy for you. Everyone thinks you’re so fit.” She sighed again. Finn’s mind reeled. Did Rae think he was fit? He certainly thought she was. He took a breath and got back on track. “But Rae, I don’t care about that. None of that matters to me. And I’ll curl up anyone who wants to start something with you.” Rae smiled and said, “Finn, you can’t go fighting everyone who wants to bully me.” “And why the fuck not? ‘Sides, if I teach one of them a lesson the rest will learn that if they try anything I’ll see to them as well. They can’t just take the piss out of my gir...” Here Finn stopped. He caught himself and his eyes met Rae’s in alarm. Rae’s eye widened. “What was that, Finn? Your what?” She asked before she could stop her mouth. Finn sputtered, “Em, well, you know… those tossers can’t get away with taking the piss out of my…em…girl…friend?” He looked at her and swallowed. Rae’s mouth fell open. Her heart skidded to a halt and then took off racing. She couldn’t help repeating it. “Your girlfriend?” She said it more so she could hear it for herself. Finn smiled shyly and shrugged. “Yeah. My girlfriend.” In for a penny, in for a pound, Finn thought. Rae blinked. Once. Twice. By the third time she shook her head and tried to focus on Finn. Her mouth opened but nothing came out. Finn smiled and continued, “Ya fancy it, Rae? I know I do.” Rae stared at him. Ever so slowly her lips moved. Finn saw the warm smile blossom on her face. Her eyes lit up. She raised an eyebrow at him and asked, “Ya serious?” He nodded. “Very. Rae, I want to go out with you.” She laughed. “Yeah.” His eyebrows shot up. He had to hear it from her again. “Yeah, Rae?” She nodded and said, “Yeah.” He beamed at her and examined her face. She was rosy and smiling. The tears he saw in her eyes earlier had vanished. He breathed easily and his heart reached a manageable pace. “Come here, Rae.” She locked eyes with him and got into the bed. Finn lifted the covers for her. The room stilled and only the rustle of linens could be heard as she lay down and he pulled the blankets over her. They both lay on their sides gazing at each other. Finn wrapped a length of her hair in his hand. Something in the back of his mind relaxed. It felt like something had come to a close when he ran his fingers through Rae’s hair. A flash of his out stretched hand and a wave of dark hair just out of reach passed through his mind. His eyes studied Rae’s hair. Rae lay quietly watching Finn’s movements. He was smiling and playing with her hair. She caught him stifling a yawn. “Alright, Finn, you need your sleep. Let’s get some rest.” Finn’s eyes snapped up to hers. Rae’s heart leapt. The hand that was holding onto her hair reached out and wrapped around her jaw, close to her ear. Finn moved closer, his eyes holding hers. “Rae,” he breathed so close to her mouth. Rae didn’t get a chance to respond as Finn’s lips enveloped hers. Her eyes closed. Her breathing deepened. Both of them sighed and took their time. Their heartbeats synced and their arms floated around the other. As they slowly parted, Finn rested his forehead against Rae’s. He lightly rubbed his nose to hers. “Goodnight, Rae.” “Goodnight, Finn.” He gave her a last sleepy smile. “To. Be. Continued.”

-THE END-

Now even though, this has my favorite line at the end, it is, indeed, a one shot. I just had this germ of an idea and wanted to write it out. I’m working on the third chapters of An Evening Walk and That Voice. I also have another with Kester in the works.

What is it with me and stories that end with everyone falling asleep? I have no idea. Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Any thoughts? Feel free to share. It’s so nice to hear from you all! - Katie

#my writing #my mad fat diary #my mad fat fandom #mmfd #rinn #rae earl

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