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buddiebeginz · 3 years

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tw: child abuse/other references to abuse

Finally caught up to the current episodes of 911. I have a lot of thoughts on Buck and Maddie and their family situation from Buck Begins (and the episodes before it). From stuff I’ve seen around online I get the impression that most people loved Buck’s begin episode but it’s probably my least favorite of the show thus far along with Eddie’s ep. I love those characters but I don’t feel the show did their origin stories justice especially not when compared to the kinds of episodes the other characters had.

As for Buck’s story I was glad we were able to learn a lot of new information about his past, considering that was one of my big issues with Eddie’s ep that it felt like a lot of repetitive info we already knew. I’m glad we got to see what Buck’s life was like before he became a firefighter and learn more about his relationship with Maddie and that he had traveled a lot. Still as someone who grew up in an abusive home I feel like Buck’s origin story with his parents was handled pretty carelessly at points.

It’s kind of a common thing I’ve seen with shows though unfortunately. It just seems that most mainstream media doesn’t know how to handle abuse storylines (especially abusive parents) unless it’s storylines dealing with more commonly understood abuse like physical or sexual. If it’s abuse like Buck and Maddie endured where their life looked perfect on the surface but underneath there’s neglect and emotional abuse tv shows often give the parents an excuse (like they were grieving) and finds a way for the family to come back together at the end. Because they weren’t really “that bad”. But emotional abuse like Buck endured can sometimes be worse than physical.

It’s clear that Buck’s parents are toxic and that Maddie and Buck should both stay as far away from them as possible. I was really bothered by the scene with Buck and his parents at the firehouse. It felt like the show sort of absolved Buck’s parents of all their wrong doing and made it seem like they cared about him, like they always had when it was clear they never really did. They had him to save Daniel and when he couldn’t it’s obvious they resented him. I mean look at that whole thing with the baby box. That’s how little they cared about him. They didn’t even make a box to remember his important moments. Yes people can grow and change but they don’t do it over night and abusers rarely change.

I know there was a line Buck said (to Maddie) at the end about how he could forgive them because he’s never felt like he had a relationship with them in the first place so it didn’t really matter, which makes sense in theory but in real life that’s never how it is when you’ve grown up with abusive parents. You can try and detach yourself emotionally from them all you want but they’re still your parents, there’s still a part of you that will always hurt from never being loved the way you deserved by the people who were supposed to love you the most. Things like that don’t get wrapped up all nice and neat like like it felt like they tried to do with Buck and his parents. I am glad Buck got to express some of how he felt when they all had that dinner together but he definitely didn’t owe his parents forgiveness.

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The part I had the biggest issue with though was at the end when Buck went to see Maddie. Buck had every right to be angry and remain angry for awhile, at the very least Buck had a right to tell Maddie how he felt and express why he was angry and hurt by what she did and I felt like the show robbed him of that.

Buck walked in the door talking about how he had basically lashed out on Maddie because he knew that no matter what she would forgive him. It’s not Maddie who needed to do the forgiving it was Buck. Buck had trusted her his whole life. She had been like a defacto parent for all intents and purposes as his parents refused to be there for him the way he needed and now he finds out the one person in this world who has been a constant in his life (at least before he joined the 118) has lied to him about something huge. It makes sense he wouldn’t just shake that off. So for the show to just have him come in and act like everything is fine with him and Maddie I felt like was a huge problem and major disservice to Buck’s character and growth.

I’m not saying I didn’t want Maddie and Buck to make up, I definitely did. But Buck has never been good at putting his true feelings first and expressing himself. Buck has been selfish at times (plenty in season 1) but he has never been good about speaking up for what he needs and speaking truthfully to the people in his life about things he was dealing with. I mean he barely told Abby how he felt when he saw her again, he mostly stayed quiet and let her make it all about herself when he really should have been like “wtf why did you ghost me for no reason?”. Or when he didn’t tell everyone how hard he was pushing himself to go back to work and then developed a blood clot, or when he was scared to tell everyone he was seeing a therapist. He holds a lot back.

My point is if we’re supposed to be seeing Buck mature into a “better” version of himself he even said something about Buck 3.0 in a recent episode. How can that change happen if the show doesn’t let him evolve and let his relationships evolve. Even with the 118. I know they love him but I feel like they still see him as the hot headed screw up from season 1 sometimes. It’d be nice if they saw how much he’s grown too. (Not talking about Eddie. Eddie sees Buck more than anyone else does. He was the only one who told Buck he had every right to express how he felt and that he didn’t have to forgive his parents.)

Back to Maddie I think it was vital for Buck and for their relationship that we should have seen Buck tell her something like “it hurt that you kept that from me when you were the only family I ever really had (before the 118)”. I love Buck and Maddie’s relationship so I’m not saying I wanted some huge fight or for it to get drawn out on the show but I wanted Buck to express his pain and for him to call Maddie out on how wrongly she handled things. I know that she was also a victim of their parents abuse (not to mention everything with Doug) but that doesn’t absolve her from her lies to Buck once they both weren’t living with their parents anymore.

To be honest I don’t even understand why Maddie called her parents to come to LA. She said something about how because she has a baby on the way she wanted to reconnect with them but there is no connecting with people who are that toxic. And her need to connect with them shouldn’t have had to involve Buck if he didn’t want to see them. I definitely don’t understand why Maddie thought it was her place to tell their parents about Buck going to therapy especially without asking him. She told Buck that he should open up and tell them how he’s been feeling but like why? They clearly never cared about his feelings before and it was obvious when they all had dinner together they still don’t. At the dinner I didn’t like how Maddie seemed to be quiet most of the time or trying to just keep the peace with her parents vs standing up for Buck the way he did for her. At one point their mother got upset talking about the hospital and it sounded like she was going to talk about Daniel and Maddie stopped her. It’s like Maddie didn’t want the secret to get out to Buck either. Yet Maddie had no problem telling Chimney.

I’ve seen people saying stuff like no one better hate on Maddie. I don’t hate Maddie but I have a lot of issues with choices she made and the fact that it didn’t feel like she owned up to them to Buck at the end. It’s altered how I look at her and her relationship with Buck to a extent. Maddie lied to Buck even when she didn’t have to anymore. She told other people something that she should have only been telling Buck. She told her parents Buck’s business. She brought her parents to LA without asking Buck if he wanted to see them. She tried to excuse her parents by saying “they were grieving” . Grief is not an excuse to keep huge secrets from your children, to lie to them continually, and it’s definitely not an excuse to abuse your children.

I have empathy for what Buck’s whole family went through including his parents. I can’t imagine the kind of pain that parents would go through losing their child. But no child should have to bare the burden of their parents pain and that’s essentially what they made Maddie and Buck do.

I know this got pretty long but Buck is my favorite character I relate to him a lot, even more so after watching some of the current episodes. These eps about his family were just painful. I wanted to protect Buck because I felt like no one in his family was. I know what he was feeling in these episodes. Alone and unloved and like he couldn’t trust anyone and like no one in his family was on his side.

The whole montage at the end with Maddie and Buck which was supposed to tug on our hearts and remind us of this great bond they share as siblings ended up feeling kind of hollow to me. I think it could have been a beautiful scene if the show had used it after allowing them to talk about what had happened. It would have shown all they had been through and how they had grown and were moving forward. That they were all the (biological) family they needed and their parents didn’t matter. But since the show didn’t allow that kind of recognition the montage felt more like the show was saying we’re just going to sweep all that drama under the rug now it’s over and done with, here’s some pretty pictures. You don’t instantly move on from knowing someone you trusted lied to you your whole life. I just really wish the show would have done better for Buck in these episodes and better with telling a storyline about abuse. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion but I just felt like I needed to rant about it. If you made it down this far thanks for reading. 💗

#please do not send hate if you disagree #911 fox #evan buckley #buck #buck begins #911 s4*#911 4x05 #911 4x04 #long post #buck and maddie #buck s4 #tw: child abuse #tw: abuse #911!

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trash-muse · 3 years

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Ask Meme: What Would You Know About Love?

WHO: John Constantine, Zatanna and Asmodel @dark-musngs - with special guests Adam Constantine and Lyla Rose WHAT: Ask Meme - [forehead touch] your muse rests their forehead against my muse’s WHERE: Various places WHEN: Various WARNINGS: None. Trying something a little different - with time jumps.

2040 - Star City

“What would you know about love, Constantine?”

The bar was full of rowdy patrons, all drinking their fill and creating a constant hum of noise so loud that one could barely hear themselves think. But Adam Constantine heard the woman sitting across from him just fine. She eyeballed him impatiently, lips pursed ready to demand an answer.

Lyla Rose was one of Adam’s nearest and dearest friends. She was also quite possibly the bane of his existence. Well, maybe her and his boyfriend were tied for that title. Sorry... ex-boyfriend.

Every time Adam thought things would finally work out, his ex would find some other reason why they couldn’t be together. However, like fools they would fall back into one another again. It was like they were stuck on the old carousel horses. Up, down. Round and round.

But then, it was like his Dad said...

“Love is complicated.”

2020 - Central City

The morning sun streamed through the point where the curtains met, sending a warm beam of light across the bed. Adam stirred, shifting and freeing a hand to try and rub the offending light out of his eyes. It took a few moments, but after opening his bright blue eyes, Adam realised it was morning.

Hopping out of bed, Adam shuffled over to his bedroom door, yawning as he opened it and exited out into the hallway. He could hear voices in the kitchen - the accented baritone of his Daddy’s voice and the slightly lower octave of Azzie’s were easily recognisable. They sounded soft as they chatted away, making breakfast, and Adam knew they hadn’t realised he was awake yet.

He didn’t know what made him stop and watch them for a moment. Why he didn’t just join them with a good morning hug. But with head tilted slightly, Adam paused at the end of the hallway and just watched the private moment between John and Azzie.

“... Zatanna would have stayed if you asked her to.” Azzie seemed to continue an earlier conversation as he brought three plates over to the stove. His Daddy was making bacon and eggs. Adam could smell the delicious smell filling the apartment.

“She has her own place, Az.” John replied, using the spatula to turn the food. He was such a good cook, especially breakfast foods. “And they’ve fixed it up real nice too after what happened. Don’t blame her for going back. It makes this place look utter rubbish.”

“John...” Azzie sounded like he didn’t agree. He put the plates down and moved closer to John, hugging him from behind and resting a chin on his shoulder. Adam had seen them cuddle like that a number of times. He liked to imagine that is wasn’t just Azzie’s arms wrapping around his Daddy but his wings too. Of course, Azzie didn’t have wings in that moment. But if they were there, Adam was sure his imagination was right.

His dad put down the spatula and turned toward Azzie, which Azzie responded to with dropping his head forward and resting his forehead against John’s. It was a tender moment Adam thought nothing of at the time but would later no doubt recall the love between them.

“You love her.” Azzie so low that if Adam hadn’t of crept closer he wouldn’t have been able to hear it.

John sighed and didn’t deny it. But he didn’t exactly admit it either. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?” Azzie didn’t sound like he was going to be convinced. A bit like the time Adam tried to lie and say he had brushed his teeth and he hadn’t. Azzie was very good at picking up on lies.

“Because love is complicated.”

“It’s not with us.” Azzie moved closer still, hands moving over John’s back. In turn, John hooked his arms over Azzie’s shoulders and the food sizzled away in the silent pauses.

“Not now. Hasn’t always been this easy.” His Daddy must have smiled because Azzie smiled back. They kissed gently and hugged tighter, not a gap between them. “Besides, Z doesn’t feel the same.” John jumped back to talking about Zatanna. Adam loved her too and wished she had stayed, but he guessed she wanted to go home. He was allow to visit but it wasn’t the same. “There’s too much that’s happened.”

“What happened?” Adam piped up before he could stop himself. Seeing no point in remaining hidden, he moved out into the kitchen, casting a curious looking in his dad’s direction.

Two sets of eyes shot toward him but Azzie was quicker to recover. “Don’t worry about it, kid.�� He said, peeling away from his dad and coming over and picking him up. Adam giggled, he always loved being scooped up and hugged by Azzie. Maybe that’s why his Daddy loved him. Azzie gave the best hugs.

2040 - Star City

“Love is complicated. Love hurts. Blah, blah, you’ve said this all before, Constantine. Still doesn’t explain why you’re holding out for a bloke that won’t commit. That won’t share all his secrets until they show up and punch you in the gut.” Lyla wasn’t giving up and certainly wasn’t taking his answer without further explanation. Adam knew a certain white clad canary that had treated his dad with that same brash demand for less bullshit and more answers.

Adam rubbed a spot just below his ribs, right where his ex’s secret little half sister had punched him and winded him before he could ask her what she was doing in his apartment. His ex’s apartment. Adam didn’t blame her for the reaction. She had thought she was coming to an empty safe house. Adam thought he was surprising his boyfriend by coming home early. It was all a misunderstanding. Still it hurt that his ex had kept a secret sister and hid his involvement in the Canaries movement from him.

But, despite the hurt and the lies, Adam loved him. There would never be a moment he wouldn’t love him. The secrets hurt but Adam understood the reason for them. It was for protection. Still didn’t stop the words he lashed out with in anger. Didn’t stop him from walking out and seeking his best friend to go drown his stupidity and sorrows at the pub.

Maybe it was like what his Mum said...

“Love is forgiveness.”

2021 - Central City

The Van Geld Opera House in Central City wasn’t just host to the opera but a many number of stage performances. It was here the great magician, Zatanna Zatara, wooed her audiences with dazzling illusions and mesmerizing tricks. All eyes were captivated by her performance but none more so than the little blonde boy waiting in the wings.

As the red velvet curtains dropped and the crowd cheered, Zatanna rose from her bow and smiled at the little boy, giving him a wink that sent him scampering off backstage with a giggle. She waved off any stage hands and assistants that approached her with polite gratitude, and followed the sounds of childlike joy back to her dressing room.

“If I had known you wanted to bring Adam to see a show, I would have given you tickets.” Zatanna half scolded the man lounging on the dressing room sofa.

John took the mild chastisement with a smirk and a shrug, not put off that he might have been in trouble. “It was a last minute decision, love. You were all sold out.” He replied, watching Zatanna as she made her way to the vanity and placed her hat on the table.

“Mumma, are you mad?” Adam turned his bright blue eyes toward her, looking like he was ready to apologise for doing something wrong.

Zatanna laughed and shook her head, taking the few short steps back across the room to Adam and crouching to his level. “No, my little one, I could never be mad at you.” She offered a hug which Adam accepted eagerly. He really was a mumma’s boy. “I was just surprised by your visit, that’s all.” She rested her forehead against Adam’s, like she was sharing a secret with him. “Even if I was mad, I’d forgive you. Because love is forgiveness. And I love you so much.”

Adam giggled at the extra squeeze in the hug he was given, completely unaware of the look exchanged between his parents. The one that knew that message of forgiveness ran so much deeper. That if they hadn’t sorted out the complicated between them and forgiven their mistakes - mostly John’s mistakes, but who’s keeping score - then this family moment wouldn’t exist.

John watched the pair with unrestrained love in his eyes. Those before him plus the angel waiting for them back home - it was the family he had been missing and secretly craving all his life. “Besides, you still got a good view of Z pulling a rabbit out of a hat, right kid?” He asked with a chuckle.

“No Daddy!” Adam spoke up, excited once more and speaking a hundred mile a minute. “It was elephants. They were floating then PFFFT... they disappeared.”

“Wow, elephants, really?” John asked his son with the slightly false amazement a parent takes on to share in their wonder.

“Alright, boys. Home time.” Zatanna interrupted before the pair would go off on another tangent. She loved seeing their interactions - fatherhood really suited John - but she didn’t think they’d want to spend all night chatting. It was after Adam’s bedtime, after all.

2040 - Star City

“Love is forgiveness?” There was the ever present scoff in that question. The one that said Lyla thought he was off his rocker. “So what? He lied to you and you’re just going to forgive him?”

“I hope so.” A new voice approached the table.

“Will.” Adam looked up, noting the fact his ex looked more insecure and awkward in that moment then he had ever been in Adam’s presence. And Adam had bared witness to his poor attempts at flirting.

William Clayton stood rocking onto his toes with his hands shoved into his trouser pockets, looking extremely out of place and uncomfortable in the seedy bar. “Can we talk? ... In private.”

Adam nodded and rose from his seat, leading Will outside and into the side alley. They stood there, watching each other for a few moments before suddenly both speaking at the same time.

“I shouldn’t have gone off at you like that.”

“I should have told you from the start.”

Both men chuckled before Adam made a gesture for Will to say his bit first. Will nodded in thanks, wanting to get what he had to say off his chest.

“Adam, I should have told you from the start.” Will repeated, sounding utterly sorry. “I only just found out about Mia recently and thought it was safer to keep as many people in the dark about her as possible. I should have told you about her. I should have told her about you. I just... I was scared. I’ve already lost my family once. I didn’t want to lose it again.” He paused with a sigh, still standing out of arm’s reach. “But all I’ve managed to do is tear it apart anyway."

Adam looked at Will with a somewhat dumbfounded expression. Will, in his roundabout way had just admitted he thought they were family. That level of commitment was light years beyond what Will had expressed before. Maybe Mia had knocked some sense into him as well.

“I really hope you meant what you said about love being forgiveness.” Will continued, finally stepping closer and taking his hand out of his pockets. He reached out, hesitating to take hold of Adam’s hand. “I forgive you. And I love you so much.”

Adam drew in a long breath, unaware he was holding it until he heard those words. It was the first time Will admitted that he loved him. “I forgive you. And I love you too, Will.“ Adam replied, closing the gap between them and pulling Will into a kiss. “Love is complicated. But, I think we can work it out together.”

#c: asmodel #c: zatanna zatara #muse: john constantine #muse: adam constantine #past: 2020 #future: 2040 #ask meme: what would you know about love

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tenaciousarcadeexpert · 5 years

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Criminal Minds-The Good Ol Days

Chapter 9-It All Falls Apart

Tagging:

@marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower, @ssadavieboy

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15

If you thought the last chapter was bad, things get even worse for the team in this chapter

The following day after Stephen’s accident, it was like a dark energy was formed over every student in the campus. Everyone’s movements were hesitant and slow, almost zombie like. It was as if everyone shared the same burden with the team, without any real knowledge of the situation. Especially during breakfast, where even in the cafeteria, there was not a single peep, apart from a few whispers.

“Well, I ain’t heard a room this quiet since Thanksgiving two years ago at my momma’s house.” Marissa comments, trying to lighten the mood.

“Marissa, calm down. A student just got into an accident, I’m pretty sure now is not the time to make jokes.”

“Forgive me if i'm trying to make at least ONE PERSON SMILE!!!” Marissa shouts and a few glances our thrown her way for breaking the deafening silence.

“Babe, calm down okay? We appreciate your efforts, but now really isn't the best of times love.” Reid says.

She sighs. “Well I’m sorry for trying to lighten the mood.”

The gang all give some rather exasperated looks.

“This can’t get any worse, can it?” Elle groaned.

“Elle I swear to god if you jinx us I’ll kill you myself.”

“Listen y-” “Can you both stop it?!” Emily snapped. “We were all a bit shaken up about last night. Gideon is was murdered, Kyle too and now Stephen is currently in a coma. So, it’s pretty reasonable that everyone is a bit paranoid today.” “I still can’t believe that of all people, it had to be him.” Kate moped as she plays with the bits of fruit on her bowl. JJ rubs her shoulder. “I know, it’s always the nice ones that get hurt the most.” “I hope that whoever did this, I hope they rot……..in HELL!” She lashed out, unknowingly stabbing her meal with a fork.

“OH shit, someone needs a visit from Dr. Phil.”

“I’m NOT fucking around!” Kate slams her hands on the table, startling everyone in the cafeteria. “Uh Kate, yo-” “I-I think I need some fresh air.” She slowly got up from the table and walked out.

“Guys, until Rossi comes around shouldn’t we be coming up with theories, finding suspects, finding clues? Something?” Luke asked.

“Why? You got something?” Tara asked him.

“Well maybe we can go back to square one. Look at the CCTVs and see who was last to talk to or at least see Stephen. Or at the very least, see if someone was following him around campus.”

“We do know that the page from Rossi’s journal was found in Stephen’s car. Which means that he must’ve had the journal with him.” “That’s still not enough, it’s possible that he did have the journal. We don’t know why he would steal it?”

“The car….” Emily pondered. “It’s possible and I hate to say this but…..this accident must’ve been staged.”

“You mean someone planned this on purpose?” Derek asked.

She glared at him. “Yeah I mean, it’s just an assumption-” She was interrupted by Kate, who had just returned after storming the place. “Sorry about that, I just had to clear my head. What did I miss?” “Emily thinks that someone planned Stephen’s accident.”

“And I mean there is one more thing we can consider guys. Maybe Stephen didn’t have the journal. Maybe whoever planned the accident planted the page from Rossi’s journal. I mean, consider this. If this wasn’t planned, then why would there be a page from Rossi’s journal perfectly layed on the front seat? And where would he even be going if he was part of this? The cabin is easily walking distance of the campus. And the car would leave tracks in the dirt, which could make the car identifiable.” Marissa points out.

“You know you talk too much, no offense.” Elle glares at her.

“None taken, but you may want to get an invisalign for them crooked ass teeth you got Elle. No offense.”

Elle gives a cold stare at Marissa as she sips her drink while everyone else consider the possibility of Marissa’s theory.

“As much as this little banter is annoying as it is, Marissa does have a point. It’s possible that whoever has Rossi’s journal is trying to evade arrest and what better way of doing that than to put the blame on someone else...Stephen.” Hotch responds.

“Does anyone here know Stephen a little? Or at least someone you know that knows him? Like maybe his best friend! If we can find his best friend, maybe we can see if he has any enemies.”

“Well, Haley knows……” Ashley responds. “I saw them do a play together.”

“Hotch, aren’t you and Haley dating?” Says Matt.

Hotch glares at him. “Y-yes….and?”

“Maybe there could be a way you could ask her somehow without letting her know about the situation.” Hotch grunts under his breath, while everyone snicker around themselves. “Fine…...but you are coming with me.” “Dammit, why?”

“Because you came up with this idea in the first place. So you’re coming with me and you’re gonna like it.”

Matt groans. “Fine.”

“Meanwhile,” Hotch addresses the team. “Can you hack into the CCTVs again Garcia? Without getting caught, of course?”

“I can..” Garcia gives him a thumbs up.

“Good the rest of you stay here and look for more clues through the cameras and talk to any people you can without raising suspicion. Garcia, I also give you the go ahead to look through texts and phone calls if you need to. Good luck everyone.”

Hotch and Matt leave to find Haley while everyone else try to find more evidence and clues.

“We still don’t know how this all connects to Rossi, like what’s the endgame here?” Ashley asked.

“Best conclusion right now is since Rossi used to be a fed, this could be someone he put away, or their loved ones.” Emily responds.

“I guess so.”

“If only Rossi was here.” Luke thought. “I wonder where he is?”

“Safe? Hopefully?” Kate shrugged her shoulders.

“Hopefully.”

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A few hours later, the group decided to part ways while continuing to solve the mystery behind Stephen’s accident.

“I can’t believe it.” Emily paused, still overwhelmed from what Garcia just found on her computer. “I-I”

“Well, if what Garcia found is true, then is could change everything.” Tara rubs Emily’s shoulder. “We should tell Hotch and Matt about this.”

“I know…...but for now, I just wanna relax.” She grabs her hand and slowly swings it. “With you.”

Tara smiled. “Well, we could do that at the lounge.” The two walked together through the halls only to be stopped by an unexpected visitor. “Mom?” She gasped, pulling her hand out from Tara’s. “Emily.” Elizabeth gives a sincere smile. “And you must be?”

“Oh, I’m Tara, Tara Lewis.” “Nice to meet you.” The two shook hands.

“What are you doing here?” Emily asked.

“I uh…..” She looked at Tara before turning her focus back on her daughter. “I think it’s better if we’d discuss this privately.” “Oh.” She looked over to her girlfriend. “T-” “It’s okay Emily, I’ll see you at the lounge.” She nods before leaving the halls. “She seems like a nice girl. Are you two friends?” “Uh, yea, guess so. What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“I’ll tell you, but first let’s head somewhere private.”

----------------------------------------------

Elsewhere JJ and Ashley had just returned from their respective classes and were walking outside the courtyard while pondering over the aftermath of Stephen’s accident.

“Any word from Hotch or Matt?” “Not yet, though Matt texted me that they would wait after dress rehearsal is over so that they could talk to her.” “That’s cool. You’ll think they’ll get something from her?”

“Hopefully. I just hope that they, Hotch especially are careful in getting info from her.” Ashley raised an eyebrow. “Why so?” “Cause if Haley finds out that her own boyfriend is interrogating her about her friend’s accident, the only info we’ll get is that he got dumped.” The two girls laughed at the thought of Hotch being dumped in a ridiculous manner, though as they continued to walk, they witnessed several students whispering amongst themselves, slightly louder than inside the cafeteria, but still mostly quiet.

“Well this just got a bit weird.”

“You don’t think they’re talking about us, are they?” Ashley asked as she noticed some of the students giving them ugly glares at them.

“Not exactly.” They are joined by Elle who was sitting by a bench. “They’re a bit aghast that two girls happen to be laughing out loud the day after a student got into a coma.” “I see.”

“Although, I’ve managed to overhear a few whispers but…” She stood up, leaning over to say something to her friends. “I could’ve sworn that they mentioned Rossi a few times.” “What?” “Yeah, like I’ve heard at least seven students mention him, even from those that don’t even have him as a professor.” “What did they say?”

“T-” “That your poor poor professor is a big phony.” The girls were suddenly joined by Meadows and her posse of friends.

“Well look who decided to show up?” JJ rolled her eyes. “Whatever it is, save it. Cause I’ll make sure Garcia knows what kind of person you really are.” “Aw.” Meadows pouts. “Why so defensive ‘Gigi’? You know it’s true.”

“Don’t call me Gigi, you goddamn bitch!”

“Yeah Meadows, what’s your fucking problem?” Elle adds.

“OH come on, old man Rossi deserves what’s coming to him. Why do you think he disappears everytime something bad happens here? It doesn’t matter how good of a teacher he is. He’s a disgrace.”

“How dare you say that about him!”

“Yeah Rossi is a good man.” “Really Ashley, you’re siding with them.” Meadows crossed her arms. “Guess I should’ve known you were all just Rossi’s little pets.” “Please, don’t do thi-” “Why? So you could protect your pathetic friends a-” She was suddenly grabbed from the wrist by JJ.

“Take that back, you bitch!”

She scowls at her. “Fuck you you stupid slut.”

JJ lifts her arm, only for Elle to pull it down.

“Leave her, she’s not worth it.” Meadows smiled at the little exchange. “That’s right, go listen to your little girlfriend.” She and her friends snicker and walk away, only for Elle to mutter something under her breath.

“Skank.” “What?” She turned around. “What did you just say?” “S K A N K!”

She and her lackeys march up to them. “Take that back.” Vanessa, one of Meadows friends snarled at Elle. “Okay, I will, if your friend here takes back all those things she said about our professor.” Meadows walks up to her and smiles. Elle raised her eyebrow as she opens her mouth, instead of words, she was stunned after getting hit with a splat of spit on her eye. The girls all gasped, where Meadows’ friends all laughed at her.

“Y-you” “What’s wrong? I did what you asked.” Ashley hands a tissue to Elle while JJ confronts Meadows. “Meadows what the he-” Before she could finish, she too was also hit from her spit, feeling the stickiness from her face.

“And those are for all those things I said about Garcia. Though no words could never be as ugly as she was-” Out of nowhere, JJ slapped Meadows right in the face, much to the utter shock from everyone outside. Meadows managed to pull herself up, rubbing her cheek while staring at JJ dead in the eye.

“You bitch.” “I-I-” Meadows lunged right at JJ, tugging her head while she screams. As she tries to resist, Meadows punches her in the face, causing her to fall down. After recovering, she lifted her arm up, grabbing Meadows by the collar and dragged her to the ground. The two wrestled it on the grass, taking turns slapping, kicking, scratching, even pulling each other’s hair. The other students looked on in anticipation as the two girls continue to attack each other, watching as JJ slams Meadows against the dirt. Amidst the chaos, both Elle and Ashley run out, trying to contact the others regarding the scene.

At the same time, Garcia was not far from the scene in which she saw a group of students swarming one area of the quad. Curious, she goes to see what’s happening, only to witness the sight of JJ pinning Meadows to the ground.

“Woah woah woah!” She screamed, the students all stopped as the open a path to Garcia. She then rushed to the sight of her two friends, whom have both pulled out from fighting, shocked to see her presence.

“What the hell is going on? Why are the two of you fighting?! You know I hate seeing my two best friends fight!”

“Garcia, I could explain-” “Oh Garcia!” Meadows rushed to grab her hands. “Oh you don’t know how relieved I was. She did it!” She points at JJ. “She’s the one who started the fight!” “What?! Me?!” “It is true JJ?” She shook her head. “N-no Garcia, I didn’t-” “Liar, liar! Don’t believe her. All I did was try to talk to her about Stephen and then she called me a bitch and tackled me to the ground.”

“Is this true?” Garcia’s voice gotten stern.

JJ shook her head. “N-no, it’s not true-” “And oh!” Meadows looked as the large tear on her skirt. “She even ripped my dress, my favorite dress!” She hugs Garcia before pulling up, and lifting her arm up. “And look at this scratch she gave me.” JJ stood up and watched as Garcia gasped while Meadows sobs over the rather small cut on her arm. She was then nervous as Garcia turn to give her a harsh glare at her.

“Garcia, I-” “How could you do this JJ?! Mary is my friend and you did this, you you back-stabbing bitch!”

“Please please.” She stammered. “I didn’t mean t-” “Shut up JJ! Don’t ever talk or come to me or my friends ever again!”

“B-but!” She tries to grabs her hand, only get slapped in the face by her now former friend.

“Stay the hell away from me, J.” She spits on her before walking away. She then grabs Meadows hand. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

“Thanks.” While the two walk away, Meadows turns back to give JJ a smug smile, much to her frustration. Devastated, JJ collapsed on her knees breaking down into tears just when Elle returned from the scene.

“JJ what happened? Where’s Meadows?”

“S-she left, with Garcia.” “With Garcia?” She nods. “Mm hmph. Garcia saw it, the whole fight, and she’s mad. S-she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.” With that, she collapsed into tears. Regretting that she was not able to help JJ when Garcia arrived, Elle bent down and hugged JJ, comforting her. “I’m sorry, I should have stayed.” She lets her friend rest her head on her shoulder as she continues to cry. “She’ll reach out to you.” “No she won’t, not anymore.” “Yes she will, I promise.”

-------------------------------------------------------

“No, absolutely not.”

“Sweetheart, this was only for your own good.”

“Mom.” Emily complained. “You’ve asked the dean to file a leave of absence behind my own back. Without telling me. How is that good?”

“Well to be fair, you seemed to have a genuine dislike when you first set foot at this place.” “That was before, but now…...it’s different.” She raised an eyebrow. “What made you change your mind?”

She stammered. “I-uh-I, a lot of things.” “I see.” She paused as she looked down on her daughter. “Still, I think it’s best that you leave this place immediately.” “Why?” Her mom glared at her. “After what? Two murders and another student in a coma, you think I’m gonna let my own daughter stay here and risk endangerment? I don’t think so.” “I have friends here, I’m not leaving them.” “Well, you can always make new friends at Oxford.” “But it won’t be the same.” “So, it’s not l-”

“Listen, I’m staying here mom, whether you like it or not.” She crossed her arms. “And that is final.” “Oh.” She then hands her a piece of paper. “Well, here’s the form incase you changed your mind…...but don’t bother calling me for help should you ever find yourself in a sticky situation.”

Emily snatches the paper from her mother’s hand and watched as she slams the door behind her. She then unfolds the piece of paper, reading it and sighs. She was now worried on what to say to her friends, especially Tara.

A few minutes later, Tara was at the lounge reading a magazine. She heard a couple of footsteps approaching her, placing the magazine down when she sees Emily sitting down across from her.

“Hey, nice to finally join.”

“Sorry about the delay.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad that you’re finally here.” “So am I.” Emily stared down at the table.

“So what happened?” “Huh?” “Why did your mom wanted to speak to you?” “She….” She tapped her fingers on the table. “She gave me an offer to switch to another school.” “Why?” “Well, after everything that has happened so far, she thought that this place was no longer safe for me to continue my studies here.” “I see.” Tara rest her back against the chair. “I can’t blame her for wanting to protect her own daughter.” “Yeah well…..I told her no.” “Why?”

She hesitated. “Because I didn’t want to leave my friends, especially you. You and all of my friends are the reason I care about this place…..and Rossi, he needs us. I can’t turn my back on him when he needs us, especially now.” “Well, what did your mom say?” “She said that she accepts my decision, and it’s cool.” “You sure? Cause going by that long face of yours, it seemed like you both part in ill terms.” “Well, she said that if something else happens and I get involved, she won’t try to help me out anymore.” “Ouch, I’m sorry.” “It’s whatever, not like she even tried to help me. All the times she did, it was only to help herself, make herself look good. Cause she’s an ambassador and one small mistake and oh no, scandal. Too bad she doesn’t even bother understanding how I feel, how hard she can be on me sometimes.” “Well…” She rubs her hand. “She’s a mom, just wanting what’s best.” “I guess.” “She might not understand you, but I do.”

“Thanks.”

“But I do hope that you patch things up with her.” “Why so?” “Despite your differences, she’s still your mom, you’ll never know what life throws at the two of you. I know I didn’t when I lost my mom.” “Yeah…...maybe….just not right now.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure about this?” Kate asked. “I mean you haven’t told the gang about this yet.”

“Well, I mean there’s nothing wrong in trusting her. After all, she is a friend of Rossi.” Marissa responds. She then pats Reid on the shoulder. “What do you think, Spence?”

He continued to stare at the door in front of them. Not bothering to turn to his friend and girlfriend, he walks up, knocking at the door.

“Why hello there.” The door opens, revealing Blake. “What can I do for the three of you.” “W-we have a few things to share, about Rossi, and Stephen.” “Okay.” She paused. “But can this wait a little later? I got some work I need to d-” “Also, we did some online research and....” Reid leans over to whisper to Blake. “Do you know anything about someone known as ‘The Replicator?’“

She hesitated at first, but the three students noticed that the name brought a chill down her spine, indicating that she knew who Reid was referring to.

“Come on in.” She responds, allowing the three to enter before looking around outside and closing the door shut

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere at the campus center, Courtney was exiting the art studio, parting ways with her friends and classmates after finishing a painting for her Intro to Color class and was making her way back to the dorms when she sees JJ standing. She was too hyperfocused on seeing the blonde hastily pressing her phone, muttering Garcia’s name and getting all frustrated whenever she hears it go on voicemail. It was only when she felt a tug on her friend’s shoulder that she shifts her focus on her friends.

“Hey, is something up?” She shook her head. “No, I-I uh.” She glanced at JJ. “Sorry, I was just feeling a bit tired. I’ll uh catch up with you guys tomorrow, okay?” “Okay.” Her friends part ways as she walked over to JJ. “Uh, excuse me-”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She nearly jumped when seeing Courtney tap her shoulder. “Courtney.” “JJ, am I right?” “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Are you okay?” “Yeah.” She shrugged her hand. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” “I don’t know, you seemed a bit distressed, seeing how you were trying to get a hold of Garcia. Is something wrong?” “I-”

Courtney grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

JJ shook her head. “I don’t know.” “Please, if it’s about Garcia, trust me, I can help.” She hesitated at first, but seeing how sincere she was and knowing that she was Garcia’s roommate, she nods. “Okay, but let’s go somewhere private.” “Okay.” A few minutes later, they head to a cafe, JJ rest her head against the table as Courtney hands her a croissant and a cup of coffee.

“So, what’s up with you and Garcia?” “We got into this huge fight.”

“You and Garcia got into a fight?” “N-no. Technically, it was me and Meadows. She said some rude things about Rossi and my friends and them humiliated me and my friend Elle.”

“How so?” “.......she spat on us.” Courtney scrunched her nose. “Ew. I’m guessing you retaliated.” JJ nods. “Yes, I did…….I slapped her.”

“Oh…” She gasped.

“And that’s when the fight happens….unfortunately, Garcia saw us and….Meadows. She blamed the whole thing on me….that I started the whole fight and that I hurt her when it was in fact the other way around.” Her eyes start to water as she continued. “I-I tried to reason with Garcia b-but, she wouldn’t listen to me anymore. She believed Meadows and lashed out on me, thinking that the whole thing was my fault. And now, I’m no longer her friend.” She whimpered. “It’s sad because all this time, I was nice to her, cared about her and defended her from bullies and now, she won’t even talk to me.” She shed a few tears while Courtney hands her some tissues. “I’m sorry.” “Oh no, don’t be…..” “Thanks…” “You know I’d hate to see someone as sweet as you cry.” She grabbed JJ’s hand. “I know you got a heart J, if only Garcia knew that you truly care about her.” “Well, not anymore. She’d rather rely on a girl like Meadows than me.” “Well, you got a point. She may be a bit ditsy but she has a way of meeting people.” “I guess.” She frowns. “Hey, I know we were never really close, and I may not know much about your relationship with my roommate, but I believe you JJ. I really do.”

“I’m glad someone does.” “Well, give Garcia some time…..eventually, she’ll give you another chance. She’s rarely the one to hold grudges for so long.” JJ sighs. “I hope so too.”

---------------------------------------------------

Matt was exhausted, today had brought a lot of new questions that had no answers, whom was a lot to cope with. Gym was really one of the only places where he could really let loose, even if it was only for an hour and a half. It was his way to get away from reality for a bit. As he walks to his gym class, he has a bit of spring in his step. Just the thought of playing basketball with Luke and Derek and having fun was putting a smile on his face. He was practically glowing as he walked into the boys’ locker room as he walks towards Derek and Luke, greeting them with a smile.

“Sup.” “Oooooo.”

“What, what’s going on here?”

“I know that look…” The two guys rushed to their friend. “So what happened?”

“What? I don’t understand.”

Luke sighs. “Haley, did you and Hotch talked to her?”

“We did.” “And?”

“And what? Nothing much happened, we got a little info but nothing groundbreaking.”

“That’s it? That’s boring.” Derek groans. “Oh, I’m sorry that i wasn’t able to get some juicy deets on their relationship.”

“Damn….and to think that I was hoping for a little something from them.” Both Luke and Matt had some bemused faces at Derek’s response.

“Well it’s not like I can say ‘Hey guys, make out right in front of me so I can go gossip to Luke and Derek about it!’ I’m pretty sure Hotch would punch the shit out of me.”

The two laughed. “Relax bro, we won’t tell him.” “Though it’d be pretty funny to see Hotch get all hot and bothered. To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t done the deed with her yet.”

“Will you guys quit it?” “Come on Matt, I’m just saying, to see Hotch flustered would be………………….. Legendary!!”

He scoffs. “Ugh, and to think, you two made it to college.” He muttered as he opens his locker.

“Okay Matt, don’t think we’re that stupid.”

“What do you mean Derek?”

“Come one man! The party! You left HOOOOUUUUURRRSSS earlier. You barely stayed for two and a half hours AND left with Kristy. We know you two did the deed already!”

“Oh.” He groaned while trying to get dressed. “So what if I left the party with her? We’re already dating.”

“Yet you’re crashing on us for commenting on Hotch’s relationship. HA! Matt you can’t defend yourself here hahaha!”

“It’s his choice to disclose his relationship, not mine. How would you feel if Luke decided to tell me, Hotch and Reid about you and Savannah that night after the party?”

“Whhhhaaaaaaatttttt?? What do you mean?”

“Wait, you and Savannah?” Luke raised an eyebrow at his roommate.

“I have no idea what you are talking about? I know no one by that name.”

“Really Derek? Really?” “Take it easy Luke, he’s trying to mess with us.” Matt continues to dress. “Besides, all that happened was that she and Stephen were friends and he stopped by to ask for advice on this girl he was asking out.”

“Kate!” They all shout, referring to the girl Stephen was gonna go out with.

“Yeah……” Matt tugs on his shirt. “Anyway, I’m starving, you guys wanna get a bite?”

“Sure.”

“Where to?”

“I’m thinking maybe a quick bite down at the diner?”

“Sure, that sounds nice.” Matt closed his locker door. “Be right back.”

“Okay, hurry though man, we’re starving!” Both Derek and Luke complained while Matt leaves to finish cleaning up by the sink. As they wait, they noticed Matt left his bag on the ground. Curious, Derek decides to take a peek.

“Derek, what are yo-”

“What?” He glares at him. “What could possibly go wrong? I just want to see if there’s anything in here I can tease him for.” Derek laughed. He zipped open the bag, digging through some of his friend’s belongings. “Find anything?”

“Nope, noth- Oh my god.”

“What is it? Did you find something?”

Luke watched as Derek pulls out a small book.

“Is that a journal?”

“It’s not just any journal man! This is Rossi’s journal!”

“Oh come, that can’t be.” “No, look at this. There’s a page ripped out right here. Along with a few more pages!”

“My god.” Luke muttered. “I wonder why Matt has that in his bag?” Just as Derek could answer, they suddenly heard Matt coming back.

“Hey guys have you seen my-” They look up to see Matt catching them snoop in his bag, and gasps when he sees them holding Rossi’s journal.

“Dude, what the HELL are you doing with this?!” Derek’s attitude shifted from being all jokingly to a more stern tone.

“What are you guys talking about- have you been looking through my bag?!!”

“That’s not the point here! You don’t get to ask the questions here!” Derek throws the journal down. “WHY THE HELL IS ROSSI’S JOURNAL IN YOUR GYM BAG!!”

“What?!” Matt gives him an exasperated look. “Don’t what us! Now we know who’s responsible for Stephen’s accident.” “What the fuck Derek, I did not start that accident.”

“Why so defensive Matt? Are we getting close?”

“NO! I-I, Okay, someone start from square one. HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND THE DAMN JOURNAL?”

Luke crossed his arms. “I-I don’t know man, you tell us.” “Luke, not you too.” “I’m sorry Matt, it’s just that Rossi needed that journal and a page of his was found in Stephen’s car and now all of a sudden, the journal suddenly appears in your bag.” “Please.” Matt begged. “You have to believe me guys! I didn’t do anything!”

“Matt, we want to believe you b-b-”

“Bullshit. Shut up Luke! We all know you’re full of shit. You lied to all of us! So make this easy on yourself and all of us. Who are you working with and why?”

“N-no one okay!!! No one!!!” “Liar!” Derek slams Matt against the gym lockers again. “TELL US!!”

“I’m fucking serious, I don’t work for anyone.”

“Derek please…” Luke begged, brushing his shoulder. “Can we not make a scene here? Can’t we just settle this down the right way?” “I see.” Derek sighs, he turns to Matt, whom was still pleading for his innocence. “Luke..” “Yes?” “Take out your phone, the team will want to know about this.”

“But w-” “Just do it. Also, while you’re at it, call Rossi as well.” He turns to Matt. “I want them to know what this traitor has done.”

Although hesitant, Luke sighs, pulling out his phone and texting everyone to meet at the conference room on the other side of the campus. Now.”

“Not so tough are you, Matt.” Derek taunts him.

“Screw you Derek. You’ll see I have nothing to do with this.”

“We’ll see about that.” He grabs Matt’s arm, dragging him along to the other side of the campus to the meeting spot.

#elle greenaway #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #tara lewis #emily prentiss #derek morgan #matt simmons #luke alvez #spencer reid #alex blake #ashley seaver #kate callahan #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds au #the good ol days

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scratchface · 6 years

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Yusaku and the Rejection of Fear

Part four of the Yusaku character analysis! And more! Like discussion of some of the more subtle themes in Vrains, and what they mean.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

This is pretty long and image heavy, but it was by far the most fun.

Wariness

I’ve already talked about Yusaku and first impressions and how he analyzes everyone he meets for potential threats, but that says lot about Yusaku in regard to the first encounter. He trusted a stranger once without taking the due caution, and it’s not a mistake he’s going to make again.

That means with Yusaku, we can probably assume you’re a “bad guy” before you’re proven to be a “good guy”; not necessarily in terms of good vs evil, or guilty vs innocent, but In untrustworthy vs trustworthy.

But despite his wariness, Yusaku disregards most people entirely; they don’t factor into his perception of the world as important at all. He doesn’t recognize a classmate on sight, and when he sees an out during the conversation with Naoki, after establishing that Naoki knows little about Playmaker besides rumors, he tries to take it.

But the confirmation Yusaku sought is actually quite interesting, because the only way Naoki would have seen Playmaker at this point was if he witnessed a duel between Playmaker and a Knight of Hanoi, or was a Knight himself. Yusaku was making sure the person approaching him had no connection to Hanoi, and had no leads on Playmaker. You can see this in how he actually asks Naoki two questions, despite being completely disinterested: he was prompting Naoki to give him more details about himself to work with, while never once giving away anything about himself.

In fact, this is a common tactic Yusaku uses in his IRL conversations; he always let’s others do the talking, and only briefly interjects to get them to talk more. He does it to Aoi, but mostly does it to Naoki.

This is how Yusaku monitors the people around him; Yusaku likes to know and control how much others know. He eavesdrops and investigates, but never gives away anything of himself except occasionally his name. Yusaku wants to know as much as possible while limiting the knowledge base of everyone else, which isn’t just a tactical decision on his part. When speaking of the incident and what came afterwards, Yusaku focuses a lot on how little he was told, and it’s clear that it still bothers him.

Yusaku seems to have a complex about knowing information regarding his current situation. The situation involved torture and starvation, but what may have scarred Yusaku the most what the lack of control and knowledge, the inability to understand his situation. Or rather, ignorance is intrinsically linked to powerlessness in Yusaku’s mind. That’s what leads into his obsession with finding the truth:

It’s fair to say that in Yusaku’s mind, knowledge absolutely means power. The one who uncovers the most is the victor, which is also why he’s jealously keeps his own secrets, except for when he’s lashing out at Hanoi.

In order to control the distribution of knowledge, Yusaku’s behavior is rather manipulative, but he almost never lies. When he himself is questioned, he gives a vague answer or none at all, and let’s the other draw their own conclusions. He carries a fake deck entirely for the sake of subterfuge. He takes the necessary steps to make sure he’s never pegged as a candidate of Playmaker’s true identity: no reputation as a duelist or a hacker in real life, or as someone invested in the matter of Hanoi.

But despite how careful he is, Yusaku doesn’t hide his identity when breaking into Vyra’s apartment, despite the likelihood of her actually being in it and seeing him. There was no guarantee she would be in Vrains at the time. Yusaku was fully prepared to come face to face with a Hanoi General in her own home. Had she not been purged, Yusaku likely fully intended to interrogate Kyoko when she awoke. But then what? She still would have seen him, even if he sent her off with the authorities.

This all leads to a single conclusion:

Fearlessness

Yusaku is fully prepared to be found. He doesn’t want to be, but he doesn’t want the conflict with Hanoi to stay just in Vrains either. Yusaku wants justice beyond stopping Hanoi’s online activity; which is why he struggles to uncover the IRL identities of Hanoi’s knights, and also likely the reason Vyra was in jail. Kusanagi and Yusaku must have made sure the authorities found evidence of her cyber terrorism and the Another’s virus when they called an ambulance for her. Yusaku is careful, but he’s not afraid of confrontation. In fact, the character in the series least wary of the battle entering the real Den City may actually be Yusaku.

Let’s not forget, Yusaku has a hidden compartment in his apartment. One that protects his unconscious body from being found while he’s in Vrains. Yusaku included this because he thought him being found out and tracked down to his apartment was an possible eventuality. By staying within a secret room, if his identity was revealed and his apartment was raided, he could wait out the raid in hiding. Yusaku was anticipating taking the fight IRL, and properly preparing for it. That’s why he doesn’t hide his face, why he reveals himself as a victim of the Incident, and more.

Which brings new insight to these words:

This isn’t just a mocking reply; this is the truth. Yusaku really wants this fight. He’s completely unwavering before the possible IRL consequences and the dangers ahead.

Quite a bit of emphasis is placed on just how much time Yusaku has spent preparing for his revenge. That’s how much he’s been wanting it.

Lots of characters in Yu-Gi-Oh express faith in their decks, but Yusaku especially focuses on how he built the perfect weapon for challenging Revolver and Hanoi.

It’s not just his cards Yusaku is confident in:

Yusaku won’t lose, because he won’t accept failure. After ten years of suffering and scheming, Yusaku isn’t going to let any of it go to waste. So much so that even when faced with what he admits is pitifully low odds, Yusaku considers victory the only possible result. For someone who was once caught and tortured by the people he’s now confronting, that’s nothing short of incredible. It’s like Yusaku has banished all his fear.

And because of his faith in himself, Yusaku purposefully takes risks and injures himself in order to gain advantage over his opponents. Yusaku doesn’t play safe; he carefully measures the danger of his every action and does it anyway. Whether it’s risking a limb or psychological trauma, Yusaku will do it if it means gaining leverage over Hanoi. His identity is just another chess piece he’s prepared to lose if it gets him closer to taking the king and knowing everything.

With Yusaku’s obsession with knowing the truth of the past and his struggle with making sense of his history, its really no surprise that the next villain has the ability to alter memories. In fact, its hard to imagine someone that clashes more with Yusaku on an ideological level.

Humanity

Yusaku thinks people are the same as they were in ancient times. And the context of this line is the fear and superstition triggered by the eclipse in Vrains. Yusaku considers fearfulness inherent to mankind.

What does that say about Yusaku, who has no fear? Nothing absolute, but the implications are certainly there. No wonder Yusaku is unable to affirm his own humanity in the duel with Bohman.

But, there’s a little something more to all of this, that ties back in with a rather contradictory trait of Yusaku’s: his forgiveness.

So, @breakdawn-avenue asked a while back:

“I’m just re-reading your first part of Yusaku’s analysis (the abyss and his special person) and was wondering if it may change (a little bit, if anything) considering episode 58.”

I think the biggest shift in our perspective of Yusaku coming out of 58 is that he’s incredibly forgiving. We already knew this, seeing how he shrugs off Akira’s torture and maintains a relatively good relationship (not trusting, not friendly, but not bad either) with him and Ghost Girl despite how many times the two of them have screwed Yusaku over. But this is on another level.

I think Yusaku’s incredibly forgiving nature isn’t just compassion and empathy for others, it also comes from a place of apathy and mistrust as well. I mentioned Yusaku initial character bio before, but a huge part of that is “He only seems to trust Kusanagi.”

And it’s true. Kusanagi is one of the few people Yusaku expresses faith in, through out the series.

Besides Kusanagi and a few more arguable exceptions like maybe Ryoken and Takeru, Yusaku doesn’t trust anyone. He doesn’t have faith in anyone. He has no belief in the nature of other people, and no expectations of being treated with kindness. He thinks people are fearful, and what does fear do to people? Makes them focus on self-preservation. So when people betray him, hurt him, put him under the bus for their own self interest, Yusaku isn’t offended, because he expected as much. To Yusaku, it seems, people are just like that: cruel and selfish, and because he’s accepted it, it doesn’t seem to bother him much. Yusaku expects to be hurt.

Why? Because he once tried to make friends with a boy and got kidnapped and tortured because of it. The last time Yusaku believed in the innocent intentions of others was the start of his own living hell.

And because Yusaku thinks everyone is like that, he doesn’t really resent it. He’s been through worse, so the petty hurts don’t bother him. He only trusts his own abilities, so the betrayal of others is just a minor inconvenience.

Yusaku thinks all people act in their own self-interest, and he has yet to be proven wrong. Even Go, who stunned and impressed Yusaku with his compassion, his attentiveness to his opponent, and his sportsmanship has turned out to be as self-motivated as the rest. Aoi and Ema have been selfish characters from the start, and Akira has shown on multiple occasions that his own self-righteousness comes before all else. Yusaku doesn’t hold any of this against them. To Yusaku, selfishness is not a “bad” trait, its inherent within everyone. And he doesn’t hold Ryoken’s mistakes and crimes against him either, because while Ryoken had a hand in destroying Yusaku’s faith in humanity, he was also the only one to try and fix it.

Speculation, Fear, and Life

But is Yusaku right? Within the world of Vrains, does fear and struggle make the average person selfish and cruel?

So far, yes, and ain’t that something? Dr. Kogami supposedly started all of this out of fear of mankind’s inevitable mortality, and committed atrocities in the name of alleviating that fear. Then, scared of the what his creations were capable of, he formed the Knights of Hanoi and tried to hurt and kill millions of people and destroy all computer-based technology. And the Ignis, the most “human” of all AI, are notable because of how they fear for their own lives, and may destroy humanity because of it.

The further you look, the more you see fear leading to selfishness or cruelty in Vrains, in the name of self-preservation. Go, afraid of losing his acclaim and the reverence of children, challenged Playmaker. Aoi, afraid of being unloved and left alone by her brother, challenged Playmaker. Akira, afraid for his comatose sister, tortured Playmaker. SOL, afraid of being unable to maintain their tech empire ordering the manhunt for Playmaker. There are more reasons behind all of these, but fear is an undeniable factor.

Even more, we have Blood Shepherd, who seemed like a nice person before tragedy occurred and he became callous and cruel. He’s a representation of the “human” side versus the “AI” side. If Kengo and the Knights and SOL all represent humanity, it paints a pretty ugly picture, doesn’t it?

But let’s look at the opposite. If the desire to live in Vrains leads to selfish actions that harm others, what does it mean when people risk their lives?

What happens when people overcome fear, and decide there’s something worth risking their lives for? Sacrifice, almost every time. That is the entire basis of the Tower of Hanoi arc: every single character in Vrains besides Playmaker sacrifices their life, purposefully or not. All of the Hanoi generals, Ema, Aoi, Akira, Spectre, Go, Ai, and Kogami all sacrifices themselves and “die”, however briefly it lasts. And they do this because they’ve overcome fear and selfishness. Ryoken attempts to follow their example. Even the news crew put their lives at risk! Now, in season 2, we see Takeru overcoming his fear to join Playmaker, and repeatedly using himself as a meat shield for Yusaku’s sake, particularly in the most recent episode. We’re seeing similar progress with Aoi, Ema, and Akira too, as each explores their own different ideas of putting aside their self-interest and safety.

So fear is linked with life, and courage is linked with death.

Except in the case of Yusaku. Yusaku is the exception, as his unwavering courage leads him to victory.

If fear is what keeps people alive, is fear the result of free will, the drive people have towards life? Ryoken and Kogami insist free will is essential to life, after all, and the inclusion of free will in the Ignis allows them to fear for their lives.

When Yusaku has a dream about Revolver talking about the lack of free will equating to a lack of life, he wakes up yelling “I…”.

As if something about “free will” causes Yusaku subconscious distress, enough that he wants to defend or explain something about himself. “I” what, Yusaku? Does Yusaku subconsciously feel like he lacks something essential to life? We can’t forget that Ai has pointed out that between them, it’s Yusaku that seems more like an AI. Ai is the “human” one between the two of them, and is certainly the one who possesses the most fear and sense of self-preservation.

Is Yusaku really missing some essential component to free will, to life, one that was lost to the Ignis, or is he purposefully leaving it behind and gradually becoming less human than the Ignis themselves? And is that why he isn’t sacrificed? What isn’t “alive” can’t “die”?

The further I get into this, the less likely it seems Yusaku is really “human” in the same way the other characters are, going by the recurrent themes. Is he from another dimension? A reincarnation? An advanced AI? An alien? Or, is he a human in the process of becoming something inhuman?

And what of the other six? Takeru’s arc is clearly addressing how he’s currently learning to abandon his fear, just like Yusaku already did. Spectre seems to have cast aside his fear as well, while Jin wallows in it. Eventually, though, we can assume Jin too will overcome his fear. Where is this all going? What makes the six kids exempt from the basic nature of humanity, a nature so pervasive it even infects the artificial creatures based on them? And if they lose the fear that keeps life-forms alive, what are they?

Will Yusaku’s rejection of fear, and therefore self-preservation, catch up with him in the end, claiming his life as it did the others’? His quest for revenge has been impressive, and successful, but there’s something self-destructive in his relentlessness.

#vrains #yugioh vrains #ygo #yusaku fujiki #and this one is a doozie #fujiki yusaku #vrainalysis

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