#even if the dialogue was changed erm. his actions speak for themselves LOL like as long ashe says daigo was important then. yk.

[todayisafridaynight]

biggest fear for kiwami 3 is them retconning mines love for daigo (unlikely but it’s possible) or like something along the lines of that…. the minedai erasure would make me end it all

SUREST doubt of my life: even if you didn't want to interpret it as romantic, mine's love for daigo is an essential part to his character and motivation in y3. they coudnt erase mine's love without redoing his character

#snap chats #and if that minedai-fan writer is still around the office i know bro would step in .... i believe ... #AND I DONT MEAN THAT MINE'S CHARACTER IS SOLELY AROUND DAIGO HOLD ON #in the context of Why Mine Does What He Does it is because he loves daigo and the kindness daigo showed to him #if you mean edit the script and have mine. Not say 'i love daigo' or soemthing like that then again it'd be a very. BIG change #mine acts out because The One Good Thing in his life was taken- or he believed anyway #even if the dialogue was changed erm. his actions speak for themselves LOL like as long ashe says daigo was important then. yk. #even if mine doesn't say the word 'love' anymore but he still relays the same motivations to kiryu the message'll still be there #it's just that people would prob be more ardent on denying mine has deeper feelings #but at this point i think the majority of the fandom- even Reddit Dudes- accept that mine's AT LEAST A BIT zesty towards daigo #plus i dont think rgg really has done. any major script rewrites for remakes and remasters ??i dont think ??? #maybe vocab changing and rephrasing but not outright change the message/sentiment #so we're fine #also why the hell did tumblr log me out while i was trying to answer the last two asks. stop trying to stop my truth #i have to remind people i still love mine.....

[taliesin-19]

Tips for Writing Better Dialogue

An Anon asked me a few questions about writing dialogue yesterday, so here’s my unprofessional opinion about what I think works pretty well for me :) It gets long just like everything else I write unfortunately. 

1. First and foremost, always, always, always, read dialogue out loud (or at least whisper it lol). With all the emotions, all the inflections, and all the mannerisms you can manage. I approach it like I’m acting out a scene 

2. Manufacture pauses yourself (this one gets a little technical)

When people speak in everyday life or when actors read scripts, there's naturally going to be some pauses throughout. People don't just recite paragraphs with no breaks. Sometimes they linger on a thought, change the direction of the conversation, take a breath, etc. And while readers are mostly intelligent enough to insert those pauses themselves, I've found that it's better as a writer to do it for them. It's just cleaner that way and reads more smoothly.

The way you do this is by inserting dialogue/action tags that literally take up the the amount of time you want the pause to take. (# of words is proportional to length of pause)

So, here are two lines of dialogue without manufactured pauses:

1) "I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

2) "The name's Potter. Don't wear it out."

And with manufactured pauses:

1) "I'm Harry," he said, "Harry Potter."

2) "The name's Potter," he said, crossing his arms and giving her a wink. "Don't wear it out."

These are really simple examples that may seem obvious, but when it comes to reading long scenes of dialogue, I find that many times, I'm mentally inserting pauses myself so that it reads more naturally. As a writer, you can save the reader's energy by doing it for them. This can also be applied when one character says something, and you want the next character to pause for a moment before responding back. 

For example: (Without pauses) 

"I killed a man once," he said.

"What?" 

(With pauses)

"I killed a man once," he said.

Her eyes shot up to meet his. "What?"

Or alternatively:

"I killed a man once," he said, staring at a spot in the distance.

"What?"

3. Use dialogue/action tags

This goes along with the previous tip, but I wanted to emphasize it. Characters should always be moving, acting, reacting. Nobody ever just stands there and has a conversation like a statue. 

You can find many resources online for dialogue/action tags for various emotions, but some examples include: 

‘running his hands through his hair’

‘shaking her head’

‘folding his hands on his lap’

‘crossing her legs’

This also helps with the idea of “showing versus telling”. It’s more effective to say “he dropped his head in his hands” than to say “he felt defeated”. Or “her nostrils flared” versus “she felt angry”

4. Don’t use names in dialogue unless it’s for emphasis

Look at the difference between these two pieces of dialogue:

“Good morning, Harry!”

“Morning, Ginny!”

“Did you sleep well, Harry?” 

“Yeah, Ginny, how about you?”

vs. 

“Good morning, Harry!”

“Morning!”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

Obviously the first was a bit exaggerated, but you’d be surprised how often people put character names in dialogue. It’s just not natural. How often do you actually say someone’s name in real life besides to get their attention? 

You can do it for emphasis too. Like when a character is feeling a stronger emotion. 

For example, “God, Harry, you are so infuriating sometimes!”

or “You know, Ginny...I really love you.”

5. Use ellipses and dashes, but don’t overuse them

This goes back to my manufactured pauses tip, but it’s more internal. While someone is talking, they can have little pauses here and there without having to break off into a dialogue tag. 

Like the last example above. “You know, Ginny...I really love you.” could also work as “You know, Ginny,” he said. “I really love you.” But I think the first sentence shows a more measured response. Like the person is thinking before finishing their sentence. It’s really your judgement to make in these situations. 

I use dashes to show that someone is about to say something, but then cuts off for a second like “I didn’t plan for this to happen. I wasn’t--I didn’t think.”

Or to hesitate/stutter like “Are--are you sure?”

Or to change the direction of the sentence like “I know, I know, I just--it’ll make me feel better.”

Or to cut someone off like:

“Harry, I--”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

6. Each character should have a distinguishable voice

This is one of the hardest things in terms of dialogue, but the goal here is that if you didn’t add any dialogue tags at all and just wrote a conversation between two people, the reader would be able to know, for the most part, who is talking based on the character voices. This is something that I can’t describe very easily, but I would recommend reading through a few actual HP passages and paying attention to the character voices. Especially for the characters you plan to write about. 

Things to pay attention to: 

-the use of filler words like: er, erm, yeah, I mean, right, you know, so, etc. Don’t overuse these, but sprinkle them once in a while in dialogue for characters that you think would use them more. Hermione, for example, would probably not use many filler words at all. Harry would probably use more ers, and erms. Ron might use some more yeahs and rights. 

-pay attention to slang and who uses it. We all know common British slang by now such as: bloody hell, blimey, wanker, tosser, buggering hell, etc. But the problem people have when trying to use it in fanfiction is that they make these universal. Hermione most likely will never call someone a wanker (unless she’s extremely angry at them maybe lol). Dumbledore probably won’t ever exclaim ‘bloody hell!’ Harry probably wouldn’t even say blimey that much. Ron is my go-to slang user, to be honest. And I tend to write Harry using more slang when he’s with Ron as a consequence. He’s not going to call most people wankers, but he’ll call Ron one. You just have to be careful with slang. Again, don’t over do it because then it just sounds ridiculous. I would recommend watching some British comedy or talk shows to practice this a bit more because it can be very hard for non-British writers. Or just get a British beta

-pay attention to personality. Is your character more sarcastic and dry? Then write more sarcastic and dry lines. Is your character more prim and proper? Then don’t have them swear and maybe use some larger vocabulary. Is your character insecure or shy? Give them a few more pauses in their speech, add some more dashes and ellipses (but don’t over do it!!!!!). Try to make each character’s personality bleed through their dialogue. It’s not always easy, but it’s possible, and it gets easier the more you write them. 

7. Finally, said, said, said, said. 

I would highly recommend, sticking to ‘said’ only in dialogue tags. Trying to get creative with ‘stated, yelled, screamed, cried, exclaimed, interjected, etc’ really will not help you. These words will only detract the reader from the actual dialogue. Dialogue tags are something that readers’ eyes skim through quickly to get back to the important stuff. So we don’t want anything eye-catching in there to make them pause. ‘Said’ is an invisible word. As are names. Which is also why you should always stick with names or pronouns instead of descriptions like ‘the green-eyed boy’ or ‘the redhead’. 

I’ve used other words besides ‘said’ a few times in GYWM, but they really added nothing, and I could’ve just stuck with ‘said’. My first fanfiction “A Memoir,” is also riddled with these sorts of issues,but that’s why we learn, practice, and grow! 

So, yeah there’s probably a lot more stuff I haven’t covered, but hopefully this is a good start. Again, I’m not a professional writer here. These are just the things that have worked for me, and things that I appreciate when reading something. I really hope this helps. If anybody has questions or wants clarification on something feel free to ask!

#writing tips #fanfiction #writing #dialogue #hpfanfiction