#everything bad he does is tied to catching a worse man. marty does bad things because he wants to

[horrorlesbians]

Right, re: the sexism in TDS1, i think the season definitely engages with the sexism and violence of rust and marty in interesting ways. I forget the exact quote but early on rust says something like "I'm a bad man, we need bad men to keep other bad men from the door" which I've always found to be a pretty on the nose commentary on these themes. Marty & Rust justify their violence, sexism, and abuse of people's rights because they see themselves as good guys (in Marty's case), or in service of a greater good/lesser evil (in Rust's case). Which, they are the protagonists and sympathetic so I understand & in many ways agree with a reading that, like most cop shows, TD kind of ends up valorizing rust and marty. ANYWAY I've always thought it to be engaging with it the way you framed it in that other ask - the women and children in these men's lives are treated like shit, and I don't think the show justifies how they're treated like shit (tbh i don't even think the show paints women in a shitty way or blames them, it's that the protagonists do that which isn't the same), but MARTY justifies his behavior by believing that (1) its Not That Bad because it could be so much worse and (2) I'm A Hard Working Hero and I Deserve Slack. This ended up very rambling but i hope that makes sense

i think the most interesting thing about season one is that rust and marty are both not good people, as you mentioned rust views himself as a bad man but a correct bad man. he breaks laws and abuses his police power and uses violence to get what he wants but he does all of it because he knows/believes that it's the only way to get the badder man, the man abusing and killing women and children. his bad actions are correct and validated in his head because he has to catch his bad guy. obvi being undercover in narco for as long as he was changed him and how he views the law, like how he tells the woman he buys drugs from that "of course im dangerous, im police. i can do bad things with impunity". i can sympathize with rust far more than marty because you can see more/understand more why rust became who he is.

marty is a cheating controlling asshole who treats women like property and wants to impose his view of womanhood onto them. he gets mad when rust mows his lawn and talks to his wife when marty isn't home because marty is a cheater and most cheating men assume all other men are cheaters. but he feels it is warranted how he treats women, he tries every excuse in the book to write off his behavior to his wife but at his core he does what he wants and doesn't care much how it hurts others. he only cares because it affects him, he blames his mistress for ruining his family as if he didn't ruin it by sleeping with him.

rust is defined as a type of outlaw detective who does whatever he wants, regardless of using violence and police red tape, because he has convinced himself that he is right about his theory. he will put himself and marty in countless dangerous situations, attack and kill people (especially in the drug plot in the middle of the season) because he has convinced himself all of this has to happen. granted, at the end of the show rust Was right about everything so his actions seemed warranted but even he states that he was aware he might have been insane in his actions. he is so far gone into his desire for justice and to catch His killer nothing else matters, after he caught his killer the only thing he mentions about the case is how he didn't realize who it was when he first met him.

marty is interesting to me because he a womanizing cheating asshole who will hit his daughter without hesitation and cheat on his wife whenever he wants but will blow a suspect's head off because he was abusing children and finally quits because of a violent death of an infant. he claims being a family man is so important and wants rust to get a woman but breaks apart his own family because of what he wants.

anyways. i love when the main characters are bad people, far more interesting that way.

#written in blood #sorry i rambled #rust is far more justified to me because while he does arguably worse shit than marty does his actions are more pure #everything bad he does is tied to catching a worse man. marty does bad things because he wants to

[ejzah]

Can you do a Drabble where Deeks goes undercover with female NCIS special agent sent from Washington. It turns out though Deeks actually knows the agent and they get very close, causing Kensi to get jealous.

A/N: This takes place during this current summer.

***

An Old Friend

“This is your first official undercover operation as an NCIS Investigator,” Kensi teased as they walked into the mission together. “We should have a celebration.”

Deeks grinned, shaking his head, but couldn’t deny that he liked when she used his full title. Hetty had informed them the day before he would be going undercover to infiltrate a high profile black market ring with Kensi in overwatch.

It was one of his first major undercover roles since going to FLETC and he was actually looking forward to it. Particularly since it wasn’t expected to be the most dangerous of missions.

“How many people would be in this celebration?” he asked with mock seriousness, hooking his arm around Kensi’s shoulders.

“Mm, it would be fairly intimate.”

“Ooh, well, you do know I like intimate...activities.” Lowering his voice, he dipped his head towards Kensi, pleased when he saw her face flush a little.

“Still the same old flirt I remember,” a voice interrupted as they turned into the bullpen. It sounded vaguely familiar, and he turned with a frown while Kensi looked over his shoulder. A woman with read hair leaned against his desk, legs crossed at the ankles.

“Delaney!” he said, smiling once he recognized her. She pushed off his desk and came forward to accept a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t Hetty tell you? We’re working this black market op together,” she explained.

“No, she didn’t. She just said we might be working with someone from Washington. I had no idea you’d moved on.”

“Well, you know me. I never like to get tied down in one place for too long.” She shrugged, squeezing his arms once before she let go. “It certainly is good to see you. I certainly never expected you to work with a federal agency. You always said you were a cop through and through.”

“Yeah, I said a lot of things back then,” Deeks allowed, glancing back at Kensi. He realized she was watching them with a curious expression. He gestured for her to join them.

“Sorry Kens, this is Agent Delaney Ozkowski,” he introduced her. “And this is my partner Agent Kensi Blye.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Kensi said, shaking Delaney’s hand with a genuine smile.

“Nice to meet you too,” Delaney said, adding, “And it’s Agent Creamer these days.” She leaned towards Deeks. “Don’t ask.”

“It is good to see you again.” Although she had clearly changed from the 28 year old he’d met over a decade ago, he could still see sparks of the vivacious, irreverent young woman he remembered.

“So, how do you two now each other?” Kensi asked after a couple more minutes of chatting. Delaney glanced at Deeks with a little smirk.

“I met Marty when I was just staring out as an FBI agent. My team was called in to assist LAPD on a case and Marty was the lead Detective. It took us a few days to work things out, but eventually we made a good team.”

“Hey, that’s only because you called me a jerk,” Deeks protested.

“And that was because you kept raiding my snack stash,” Delaney countered, gesturing to him as she turned to Kensi. “Does he still do that?”

“Oh, he knows better,” Kensi said, knocking his shoulder.

“Well, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you? I heard you went to FLETC and got some fancy new title.”

“Yeah, I’m an NCIS Investigator now,” Deeks said and then smiled as caught Kensi’s eyes. “And we got married a little over two years ago.”

Delaney’s eyes widened in surprise before she managed to replace it with a smile.

“Wow, I was not expecting that. So Marty Deeks, king of flirts actually is a married man?” she said, shaking her head again and leaned towards Kensi again. “You’ll have to let me know how you managed that.”

“Sure,” Kensi agreed, giving Deeks a look that said they would be having their own little talk later. “We’ll have a nice long talk all Deeks.”

“Looking forward to it.” Delaney glanced at her watch and winced. “Oh, time to meet with Hetty and the director.”

Deeks quickly kissed Kensi and hurried to catch up with Delaney.

***

“Oh my god, remember that one time when-” Kensi heard as she passed the bullpen where Deeks and Agent Creamer were working. Instead she headed for the gym, the sound of their voices slowly fading.

She felt a little childish, but she wasn’t sure she could take listening to another story. Even though Deeks had told her they only worked together for a few weeks, he and Delaney seemed to have a wealth of inside stories and jokes.

It made her feel...strange. Kensi was used to sharing that kind of closeness with Deeks. Sometimes Delaney reminded her a little bit of Talia. She was confident, outgoing, and gorgeous, but unlike Talia, wasn’t quite so competitive. Somehow that was made it even worse; Delaney didn’t even have to try and she seemed to have a close and easy connection with Deeks.

Despite her best efforts, Kensi found herself making comparisons. Delaney was open and easygoing. Where Kensi tended to shut people out, it seemed the other woman welcomed them in. She somehow seemed capable of shedding the burdens of their work at the end of the day while Kensi carried it with her.

Most importantly, she made Deeks laugh. Sure, Kensi made him smile and laugh, but not anywhere as often as Delaney did. That scared her most of all.

Shaking her head, Kensi grabbed a set of weights, prepared to drive the dark thoughts away with pain and exhaustion. Deeks found her there 20 minutes later, covered in sweat, and channeling all her anger into a punching bag.

“Hey Kens,” he said, handing her a towel. She took it from him, noticing his concerned look as she panted. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just thought I’d get in a quick workout while I was waiting for you guys to finish up,” she explained, turning to put away the equipment before Deeks could read her face. “Did you get anywhere?”

“I think so.” He seemed excited and Kensi felt a little bad for not sharing his enthusiasm. “Callen’s grabbing some lunch and then we’re going over the plan for today. Delaney has a pretty good idea to get us into the club.”

“Ok, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Kensi assured him. Deeks squeezed her shoulder, dropping a light kiss to her lips, and left. As he disappeared from view, Kensi tried to tell herself she had no reason to be jealous.

***

A/N: Ok, so my thought process here is that Kensi’s still feeling a little fragile from the last year or so of fertility treatments and whatnot which is making her feel more insecure about her “flaws”.

Thanks for the prompt!

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #kensi blye #densi #angst #anonymous prompt #ejzah fanfiction

[deanssweetheart23]

Somewhere Only We Know

Title: Somewhere Only We Know: Autumn Leaves (Part 1)

Summary: Dean Winchester doesn’t believe in love. He doesn’t believe that he deserves to be loved, doesn’t believe he deserves the happiness of it after everything he’s done. And then she waltzes into his life. The girl that brings with her colors and life and feelings he never thought he’d experience. The girl with the scars that match his. Is the one year he gets to spend with her enough to change his life forever? Or will it break him beyond repair?

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester, Marty Blye (OMC)

Word count: 3928

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Mentions of blood and violence. References to death, grief and loss. Language. Sexist remarks (and Dean being his amazing self). 

Author’s Notes: This is my submission for @@thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s  Seasons of Love Challenge (Colors of Fall) and for @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba ’s 250 Writing Challenge. Ladies, thank you both so much for letting me participate and allowing me to combine your prompts, I fell in love with this and I hope you like it as much.

Special thank you to twin @ravengirl94 for always finding time to help me.

My prompts were a secret gif that has been inserted into the fic below and Dive by Ed Sheeran (which is one of the most amazing songs ever and screams Dean’s name, tbh). 

This will be a mini-series of four parts. (Every new part will be posted seasonally). 

Without further ado. Enjoy <3

Dean doesn’t really like autumn.

He knows most people do, knows that they love the flutters of color and the crispy breeze kisses, the valleys and the leaves and the scarlet of the sky, but he’s never able to fully appreciate them, to feel the magic of it all in his bones and his heart in the way other people do.

Autumn is not a time of magic for Dean.

It’s not painted in colors of change and new beginnings. Everything he sees in the curved pumpkins and the rays of cold sunshine, everything he can see, reminds him of his mother’s smile and the way her arms wrapped around his little frame and of the embers, those warm, bright embers of fire that swallowed up his entire childhood.

So, when a possible shapeshifter case takes him and his brother to Denver, one of the best cities for fall travel, according to the local newspaper, he rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath until his brother points out that he looks like a petulant child.

And when he realizes that he’s bound to spend an hour of his life in that horrible coffee shop with the extravagant lantern pumpkins and the autumn themed menu because his brother is meeting a friend from Stanford, he’s crestfallen.

Letting out a loud sigh, Dean clears his mind and goes over his newspaper for what feels like the hundredth time that day, trying to find something, anything that he’d be able to link to their case.

He has no such luck.

With a roll of his eyes, he takes a look at the miserable fall themed wreaths that hang from the walls, and, reaches for the menu. Everything in there, every single thing, is pumpkin flavored.

God. 

He hates autumn.

Maybe he could just-

“I’m sorry.” Someone shouts, voice unexpectedly soft as a blast of cold wind dances through the open door and reaches him, scraping at his skin. “Crap, I’m so sorry.”

Dean looks up, bemused, only to find one of the most fascinating girls he’s ever seen standing right in front of him.

She’s beautiful, even in that tacky black and orange workwear that seems to be the coffee shop’s signature sign, and, despite her disheveled and flustered state, the warmth she radiates, the way she way just stands there and demands attention, makes it impossible for him to take his eyes off her.

“I tried calling but my battery’s dead and the traffic was-”

“This is the third time you’re late this week, Y/N.” A man –her boss, Dean assumes, says, lips screwed into a scowl.

“I know. I just-”

“The only reason I agreed to this was because Josh vouched for you. But if this keeps happening, I can’t-”

“It won’t.” Y/N states firmly, jutting her chin, though he can swear her voice wavers a little bit. “This will never happen again. I promise.”

The man takes a long look at her then, so cold and calculative that manages to make even Dean want to crawl out of his own skin, and sighs, scarfing down the chocolate biscuit he’s been holding.

“It better not. I’ve said this already and I’ll say it again. Your brains don’t matter here, Y/N.”

Y/N nods, sternly, hands clenched by her sides until they’re white-knuckled.

“And drop one of those buttons.” He smirks, waving at her shirt. “You’re a waitress, not a nun.”

“I-”

And maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut, but her flushed cheeks and her narrowed eyes are enough to make his blood boil.

So, he raises his hand and-

“Excuse me,” he says, pointing to the empty table in front of him, “can I get a cup of coffee here?”

Mr. Jackass nods in his direction and smiles, a pained, plastic smile Dean would absolutely love to punch off his face, then throws Y/N a crisp white apron.

“Drop the button.” He mutters again, jabbing a finger warningly at her.

Y/N waits for one, two, three seconds before her boss disappears into the kitchen, then turns on her heels to approach him, fidgeting with a chain that’s hanging from her neck.

She clears her throat, quietly.

“I, uh,” she smiles, a half smile that’s nervous and bashful, “thank you about that. I-”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, kid.” He cuts her off softly, glancing towards the kitchen. “He’s a bit of a dick, ain’t he?”

She chuckles, hasty and fuzzy and just a tad nervous.

“Honestly? He’s,” she turns around to make sure no one is listening, then leans a bit closer, “yeah. But I got bills to pay and he pays me, so…”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain anything to me.” Eyes that lock onto hers. “I get it.”

She nods, but she’s still a little timid, still acts like what had just happened is somehow her fault and Dean wants to do something to change that, wants her to know that no ass has the right to talk to her like that, no matter who he thinks he is.

He can’t.

Her forehead puckers.

“Uh, coffee.” She says, the words rolling out of her tongue as if she’s never spoken them before. “You wanted me to get you coffee.”

He chuckles a bit under his breath, and huffs out an awkward yeah, scratching the back of his neck, something sheepish.

“Black sounds nice.”

She grins, a lazy grin that’s braver than ever before, and bites her bottom lip.

“What, you’re not a fan of pumpkin spice?”

“Do I look like I’m a fan of pumpkin spice?”

A snort.

Amusement dancing in her eyes.

“Black coffee it is.” She writes something down on her notepad. “Anything else I can get ya?”

“Actually,” he licks his lips, glancing at the menu in front of him, “I noticed you got pies?”

“Yeah, ‘bout that,” she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “I’m not supposed to say this, but you don’t –you don’t really want to try those pies.” She scrunches her nose up. “They’re, uh, terrible.”

He lets out a laugh, breathy and loose.

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, I just,” he rubs at his scruff, “I really love pie.”

“Which is why you shouldn’t try this one. Don’t let us ruin it for you.”

A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“I appreciate the concern. But. Nothing can ruin pie for me, sweetheart.”

“Well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Romeo.” She says, and her eyes smile at him, sparkling and honest and sunny.

Maybe autumn isn’t so bad after all.

The pie really is that bad.

It’s dry and tasteless and even though Dean has spent most of his life eating at out-of-street diners and shady looking restaurants, he’s pretty sure he’s never tried something so horrible before.

He still stops by that coffee shop the next day though, and when she notices and throws a surprised glance his way, he smiles his most charming smile and says that cherry pie might be better.

Again, he’s wrong.

The pie is just as awful –if not worse, and Sam’s grumbling about how they should have just skipped breakfast would have probably driven him up the damn wall, if it weren’t for the way Y/N beams at him every time she catches him staring.

“Yeah, no,” Sam pulls him out of his thoughts as he shuts his book closed, hazel eyes locking with his, “the Odyssey is not better than this.”

“Not bet –dude, that thing doesn’t even have a plot.”

A pointed look.

Fingers pushing off the hair from his face.

“It does. It’s just a bit elusive.”

“Well,” Y/N cuts in, prompting Dean to smirk when he sees her in front of his table, her apron hastily tied around her waist, “that’s one way to put it.”

Sam looks up, brows furrowed into quite an offended scowl, but she only grins, a grin that would have been devilish if it weren’t for that childish spark in her eyes.

“Coffee for my knight in the shining flannel,” she gloats, sliding the white mug towards him, “and a smoothie for his friend with the terrible taste in books.”

Dean snorts.

Sam shots him a pointed look, and juts his chin, just a tad offended.

“Right.” He rolls up his sleeves, ignoring his brother’s monstrously self-satisfied grin. “Can I ask why do you think this is terrible?”

“Uh,” she rocks back and forth on her heels, nose scrunched up in the cutest of ways, “because of the made-up words? Or the run-on sentences? Or. How about the mere length of that thing?”

“It’s experimental.”

“It’s bullshit.” She objects, eliciting a soft chuckle from Dean. “Slaughterhouse Five is experimental. Mrs. Dalloway is experimental. Finnegan’s Wake? That’s just a load of crap people pretend to love because it makes them sound more intellectual.”

Sam straightens then, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips and Dean knows, right in that moment, that there’s not a person in the world Y/N wouldn’t be able to win over.

“Sounds like you’ve got pretty strong views about it.”

“Oh, Sunflower has pretty strong views about pretty much everything.”

Dean blinks in surprise at the voice, but when he opens his eyes again he hears Y/N’s rosy laugh and watches as she throws her head back in amusement, and something heavy settles over his stomach.

Peering over his shoulder, he sees a guy in his early thirties smiling at Y/N lovingly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket.

The man is tall, with blonde hair almost as long as Sam’s and blue eyes, face dusted with facial hair and laughing lines.

Y/N smiles at him, a smile that’s etched with love and intimacy, a profound intimacy he knows he’ll never have with her.

His hand drops to his side.

“Marty, what are you-”

“You left your jacket at my house this morning.” The man explains with a soft laugh and reaches over to envelop Y/N in his arms, lips landing on her forehead in a sweet kiss.

Of course.

“And when you told me your boss wouldn’t be coming in today, I figured I’d stop by to give it back.”

“And get free coffee in return.”

Marty chuckles, rich and delighted and adoring.

“And get free coffee in return.” He agrees, brushing some hair off her face.

And even though Dean knows that it’s insane, even though he knows nothing would have happened between them because he wouldn’t let it, wouldn’t allow himself to have her for a quick roll within the sheets and then let her go, it still hurts a little that she’s with someone else, still makes his jaw clench when he notices the way she touches him, fingers sliding over her skin like he’s the most precious thing in the world.

He swallows, hard.

She doesn’t notice.

“Well, then,” she mumbles, corner of her mouth turning up in a half-smile, “let’s go settle your payment.”

Marty nods, and wraps an arm around her waist, and she turns to Dean and smiles, a smile that mends and breaks him at the same time.

“Be right back.”

Three seconds pass and Dean can already feel his brother’s eyes burning holes on him, can already see that annoying, knowing smirk of his floating across his features.

“Shut up, Sam.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Sa, complains, heat still in his eyes.

Dean sighs and glances at the counter just in time to see Y/N laughing at something Marty has said, head buried into his chest while he kisses her hair.

She looks happy.

Somehow, it doesn’t seem enough.

It isn’t until that same night that Sam brings Y/N up again.

Dean has been trying not to think about her too much, has been trying to remind himself that she has a boyfriend that loves her and kisses her forehead and lets her stay the night, but she still finds ways to slip through the cracks of his mind.

And.

His brother won’t shut up about her.

“For fuck’s sake, Sam” Dean groans, slamming the refrigerator’s door shut, “I’m trying to work here.”

Sam smirks, delighted and just a bit brash.

“And?”

“And your stupid questions won’t let me.”

“Dude, I only asked if Y/N’s boyfriend was there yesterday, too.”

“Yeah,” Dean snorts and spreads his hands, forearms on the table, “three times.”

“Because you won’t tell me.”

“Because I don’t know.”

The youngest Winchester chuckles, brows arched slightly.

“Right. Because you didn’t spend the entire day ogling her.”

Dean opens his mouth then because he’s so done, so absolutely done that he’s ready to give Sam a piece of his mind, when a sound catches his attention.

His eyes drift to the police scanner they keep in the room.

He doesn’t know why, but his stomach churns.

2-7

Can you head to 1624 Market St Ste 226? Caller reports being trapped, possible dead body. Fire is on the way.

1624 Market St Ste 226

1624 Market St Ste 226

1624 Market St Ste 226

The coffee shop’s address flashes before Dean’s eyes as the dispatcher’s voice rings loudly into his mind.

Everything around him begins to move in slow motion.

His chest hurts.

“Dean-”

“Don’t even say it.” Dean growls, the muscles in his back going rigid. “They’re okay. They got to be okay.”

He reaches for his gun and grabs a silver knife on his way out, mind drifting to the shapeshifter, to how every single victim killed had been murdered so close to that coffee shop, to how her boss missed work the day after one of the attacks.

He swears under his breath.

He’s going to kill that son of a bitch.

Dean doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen so much blood.

He’s a hunter, he’s been a hunter ever since he was a kid, and yet, he doesn’t even remember the last time the blood was literally everywhere, spluttered across walls and tables, staining the floor in disturbing patterns that killed any expectations he might have had.

The room’s dark and he can feel it, can feel the death that’s lingering upon it, and is ready to abandon all hope when he sees Sam pointing towards the kitchen, gun raised.

She’s tied on a chair, clothes almost shredded and coated with blood, cuts and scratches littering her skin.

She’s alive.

Sam takes her rag off and Dean braces himself, gets ready to tell her that it’ll be okay, that that monster’s dead and will never hurt her again, gets ready to find a way to explain how her life will never be the same, but the sound she makes, the way she almost chocks on dry air, ruins him.

“He’s got him.” Y/N wails hysterically, fighting against her restrains. “John –I’ve never seen him like that before. He tried to… Marty… Please, you have to help Marty. I can’t-”

“Y/N, hey,” Sam coos, cupping her face with his hands, “hey, you got to breathe for me. Where is he?”

But Dean already knows, so he heads for the small room in the back and doesn’t stop until he finds him on the floor, a man lying in a pool of his own blood.

The blue of his eyes is fading now, nothing like the vibrant color he’s seen that same morning, and his skin’s pale, lifeless.

“Marty,” he says, sliding to his knees next to him. “Marty, can you hear me?”

The man blinks.

“Y/N,” he rasps out, words low and slurred and laced with blood, “Y/N-”

“I’m here. I’m right here.” Y/N croaks as she limps towards them, Sam shouldering some of her weight.

She crouches down on the ground next to him and cradles him in her arms.

“Y/N.” Ragged breath. “I saved you.”

A whimper escapes her.

“Yeah. Yeah, baby, you did.”

“I-”

“Sssh, don’t speak,” she runs her fingers through his hair, soft and tender like she’s trying to help him fall asleep. “I got you now. I got you.”

“Well,” he breathes, reaching out for her hand, “I always knew I was gonna die next to you.”

“Don’t say that.” She puts pressure on the open wound on his neck. “You’re gonna be okay, you hear me?”

“Don’t cry, Sunflower.” He dabs away some tears. “I don’t like it when you cry.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Mars.”

“Can you…” His words come out slower now, pained, breathless whispers that scratch the air between them before cutting into her skin. “Can you sing our song?”

Dean doesn’t think he’s ever heard anyone make a more broken sound than the one Y/N makes in that moment, but she nods and smooths a hand over his face.

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild, wild horses we’ll ride them someday

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild, wild horses we’ll ride them someday

Marty’s breaths come out shorter as she sings, and when he tries to sing along, she hushes him and cradles his face into her chest, whispering soothing words and empty promises, her saltiness blending with his blood. A bitter mix.

She doesn’t let go.

Instead, she sobs as his tears wet her skin, sobs as the blood starts to drip from his mouth and he can’t speak anymore.

And when he takes his last breath and is left empty and breathless and cold, a dead weight in her arms, she cries harder, sobs until she can’t breathe anymore, there on the floor, just a red mess of limbs and heartache.

And Dean knows.

The sound will haunt him forever.

He sees her again two days later.

She’s standing in the middle of a small park just a few blocks away from her house, braced against one of the tree trunks while golden leaves dance under the autumn sun.

The air’s chilly, the light breeze dusted with the blooming scent of orange trees, the red cape she’s wearing swaying along with it and, for a second, Dean’s back at that coffee shop, back at that night that he’d failed everyone, that he’d failed her, and she’s laying, on the floor, just a crumbled-up piece of paper with Marty’s lifeless body in her arms.

And he guesses he should be used to this by now, used to seeing innocent people die and lose loved ones, used to that hollowness that loss brings along with it, but he’s not.

He clears his throat, quietly.

“Hey,”

A broken, half-smile.

“Hi,” she turns around to face him, eyes red and lashes wet, “I, uh,” she wraps the cape tighter around herself, “thank you for coming. I know I should have called earlier but-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he shakes it off, head dipped as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “M’ just glad you took me up on that offer.”

She nods, the furrow between her brows hitching.

“I had to. I never,” deep breath, “I never got to say thank you.”

He laughs, despite himself, but it’s bitter and broken and sad.

“Good. Don’t.”

“Dean-”

“I couldn’t save him, Y/N.” He says, harsher than he intended to. “Marty’s dead and that’s on me.”

“No, it’s not. You,” she pauses, reaches out and lets her fingers wrap around his clothed arm gently. It’s a strangely intimate move, one that catches him off guard, but the pressure around his skin is pleasant and needed and reassuring, and he doesn’t dare pull away.

“You saved my life. And Marty’s death, it hurts, but I don’t blame you. I could never blame you.”

“Kid-”

“You’re a good man, Dean.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.” She retorts, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You hunt monsters for a living and expect nothing in return. That sounds pretty noble to me.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

“You never lose an arguments, do you?”

She huffs out air through her nose, not quite a laugh.

“Yeah,” she smiles, a smile as fragile as spur sugar. “Marty used to say that it was because of my eyes. They can make people do just about anything.”

It comes out in a soft whisper, quiet and low, like she can’t actually believe it’s true, but Dean knows it is, because he can feel it every time she looks at him, can feel it in the way she could rob him blind with those big Y/E/C orbs of hers and he still wouldn’t complain.  

He chuckles, a low, gruff chuckle, and runs a hand over the back of his neck.

“How long had you two been together?”

She knits her brows a bit at the question and squints at him, as if she doesn’t quite understand what he’s saying, then shakes her head and lets out a soft chuckle.

“Oh, no. It wasn’t –it wasn’t like that.” She wraps her arms around her small frame and gnaws on her bottom lip, seemingly thinking about something.

“Marty was my best friend. I, uh,” she rubs at her forehead, “I lost my mum when I was five so, my dad had to work crazy hours to raise me and Marty’s mum… She helped a lot. We grew really close and he just ended up being family, you know?”

“Yeah,” Dean whispers, running a hand over his face, “yeah, I do.” He hesitates for a second. Then. “How is his mum holding up?”

“No, she doesn’t… She died six years ago.” Y/N says, voice wavering just a little bit. “Four weeks after my father, actually. And his dad was never really a dad, so… All Marty and I had was each other.”

And she says it with her eyes cast downwards, says it with a shrug, but Dean’s stomach churns and plummets and his heart aches, because he knows what it’s like to lose the only person you have in the world, knows what it’s like to be left alone, how it breaks you and leaves you hollow and numb. 

She doesn’t deserve this.

God, she doesn’t deserve this at all.

He doesn’t say anything.

Words wouldn’t have been enough anyway.

Instead, he reaches out for her, slow and a bit reluctant, and lets her meet him half way, then takes her soft, small hand in his and squeezes, a silent, wordless reassurance that someone is there, that someone will always be there for her.

“Well,” he clears his throat, “now you got us, too. So, if you ever need anything, I’m one phone call away.”

She chuckles.

“Like I said,” she intertwines their fingers together, “you’re a good man, Dean Winchester.”

He smiles, a soft, sad smile that melts his rough edges and breaks down his walls and when she leans in to kiss him goodbye on the cheek, he realizes that no one, absolutely no one, had ever made his heart beat faster with a single brush of her lips against his skin.

And he prays to God he’ll see her again…

A/N: This was a bit of a slow burn, but the ride is so worth it, you guys, you’ll see...

Forever Tags: @ravengirl94 @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @trexrambling @percywinchester27 @winchestersnco @hannahindie @emilywritesaboutdean @escabell @kathaswings @thevioletthourr @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba @ultrafandomcat @impala-dreamer @imagining-supernatural @tiny-friggin-human @pickupthatamulet @keepcalmandcarryondean @atwistoffate @atari-writes @becs-bunker @becominglionhearted @wordstothewisereaders @sgarrett49 @myrabbitholetoneverland @iwriteaboutdean @spngeronimo @ruprecht0420 @polina-93 @mandilion76 @juanitadiann @atc74 @captainemwinchester @mogaruke @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @wellthatsrandomkek @jayankles @winchesters-flannels @akshi8278 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @a-glass-of-orange-juice @ravenangel33 @holahellohialoha @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @dancingalone21 @torn-and-frayed @blushingdean @castianityislife02 @sinistersaltqueen @easelweasel @carryonmyswansong @emoryhemsworth @superapplepie @princess-of-erebor1992 @bebravekeeponfighting @carryonmywaywardcaptain @sebastianshoe @stellaa33  @pillow223 @kleinkariertebetrachter @there-must-be-a-lock @samisimportant @jessilliam-caronday

Somewhere Only We Know Tags: @girliciousdreams @zeldalyfe @cherryblossom292 @winchestergirl607 @flormolero @chicagolove88 

Cross out tags don’t work for me, I’m sorry!

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #sol - colors of fall challenge #helen's 250 follower challenge #dean winchester #unpopular songs hellfire challenge #dean winchester series #dean x reader series #dean winchester imagine #spn insert #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean fluff #dean angst #spn fluff #spn angst #dean x reader fluff #dean x reader angst #reader x dean winchester #reader x dean #dean x you #dean x y/n #you x dean #dean winchester x you

[luminisvii]

So it’s pretty late right now and I’m liberally using the Bold function, but let’s talk about bad fanfiction.

Usually the first thing that springs to mind when it comes to bad fanfiction is My Immortal. Anyone who’s talked to me for more than five minutes knows that My Immortal is undoubtedly one of my favorite pieces of literature. And that’s not a joke, I think it’s an absolute masterpiece of bad. The misspellings, the reworkings of the characters to be goth/scene in an incredibly middle school way, to Marty McFly’s cameo to the chapter written by a self proclaimed troll--It’s a perfect storm of bad literature that makes for a hilarious read. I won’t get into a huge tangent but what makes My Immortal so funny is it has a certain level of naturalness to its writing where you’re never quite sure how serious the author is. The true joke is the mystery. We’ll never know who wrote the infamous fic and how serious they were when they did.

However, My Immortal is kind of scratching the surface. See, that’s a fic that’s actually funny bad. Most bad fanfiction is bad bad. Today, I intend to discuss the lesser known fanfic that I rank as being one of the most difficult reading experiences I ever had, and I only successfully pulled through after many years thanks to the love and support of my friends and us reading it out loud at 4 AM.

That fanfic is known as My Inner Life. Don’t let the title fool you, it was written well before our favorite goff showcase and it’s honestly a whole lot worse. This Legend of Zelda fic, written by one Jen and based on her dreams, features a young lady named Jenna who is a simple merchant traveling in Hyrule when one Link catches her eye and it goes downhill from there. The short version is that there’s a lot of overly dramatic sex, tedious clothes descriptions that include too many triforces, poor treatment of horses, Jenna getting praised and lavished with attention for no reason, and no research put into the lore.  After a while it straight up forgets about being an Ocarina of Time fanfic and launches off into some nonsense about griffins and an evil lord I can’t actually remember the name of (It was very late and I was very tired so I called him Lord Asshole after a while, it has the same effect) and also that The Griffins, who live just beyond the Black Mountains, do not trust easily.

If you wish to read it, you should probably quit now, but if you are too weak (which is honestly understandable) here’s my recounting of the story.

Where to start is a little bit hard, but a good place is the insane 2,000 word author’s note at the beginning. Jen, seemingly unaware of how thin skinned she’s being, goes on about how anyone who leaves her a negative review is being is immature and thin-skinned. Here’s a delightful excerpt that shows the author’s view on all of this!

“Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine.”

She spends quite a bit of time talking about how reviewers need to be more mature as she dedicates that much time to complaining about negative reviews and methodically rebuking everything they say from her poor grammar to Jenna being a Mary Sue. Now, props to the author for straight up saying that Jenna is the obvious author avatar that she is--Jenna is simply the dream persona of Jen, which okay, fine, that is not that bad. It’s what happens with Jenna that really makes me want to drink.

The other majorly telling factor is the first line of the story itself.

“Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real.”

You may have noticed a redundancy there. That is only the beginning. If you get tired of hearing about the same things repeatedly, you will be VERY tired very quickly in here. Jen likes to constantly explain things to the point where she has footnotes in the story, and just after citing a footnote she explains what was cited in text anyway so now you have a double explanation.

“A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. I enjoyed my inner life. I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.”

I love quoting that. I’m also not sleeping so I guess I don’t know the meaning of true love.

Anything beyond this point is where I start to die because I actually grew up playing Ocarina of Time and I’m quite well versed in its lore, so if you are too this is going to be about as pleasant as root canal.

Since me recounting everything in detail means we’d be here into the next year, I’m going to try to boil this down to its essence. TL;DR: Jenna meets Link and they fuck. Badly. A month later and they’re getting married so they can fuck more. This whole time you have King Hyrule who is treating a random merchant off the street better than Zelda, the Sages are just inexplicably back despite now residing in the Sacred Realm. Zelda also inherently gives up the throne because she will not marry and thus is no longer in the line of succession but this random guy from Kokiri Forest who married a random merchant is! Ruto is turned into a jealous harpy and the other sages hardly appear at all.

After they get married they go to the part where I quit the first time I started reading this fic which was the Bonding Ceremony. If getting married to a guy you met a month ago wasn’t enough, going to a monastery and getting telepathically bonded by drinking his piss sure is. Okay, it’s not JUST the piss drinking, but that was enough to make poor 2014 me stop trying and go lie down. They also fuck in front of the monks because that’s a thing straight people do, I guess.

Somewhere in there Jenna gets pregnant and has a child. She names the child Link Jr. I don’t have anything to say about that, I think it’s comedy in itself. On top of that Epona also gets pregnant so they get new horses named Midnight Star and Star Dancer. That’s not an important detail at all, my friend simply hates those horse names and I’m bringing them up on the off chance that she reads this.

Oh yeah, Dark Link is an antagonist at one point and he inexplicably talks exactly like a stereotypical villain and ties Link and Jenna up in a room and leaves them there for no reason like a small time crook leaving Batman in a cage with all his gizmos nearby. And turns out Jenna has magical powers and is from some ancient race of super people or whatever. They have to explain this over and over again in the same few paragraphs and I want to die.

Beyond all the bad sex that has tiger metaphors (Somehow Jen knows how tigers fuck) there’s the Original Material which had me crying more than the tragedy that was the remain of OoT’s story. Once we get tired of Link and Jenna’s love story and Tiger Sex, there’s suddenly an invasion from Lord Ariakas who is threatening the Griffins who live beyond the Black Mountains, just a day’s ride from Hyrule. He’s just some evil guy who threatens the Griffins, who do not trust easily, and who live near The Black Mountains. If you think redundancy is painful then prepare for the worst redundancy you’ve seen yet. I went insane when we were reading this and tallied all the times The Black Mountains are mentioned and turns out it was a whole lot less than I thought, but almost all of them happened in a short amount of time so it felt like an eternity of explaining The Black Fucking Mountains. Turns out I’m a masochist of sorts because this STILL didn’t shake me off. In order to repel Lord Arakias’ forces, Link and Jenna need to talk to the Griffins who like to make a big deal about how they don’t trust anyone as they instantly trust Jenna and let her into their royal court to give her support and magical gifts. It’s kind of incredible how Jenna does nothing and is constantly rewarded for it.

Sadly this ends in a cliffhanger, like all good terrible fanfics. But that’s a semi-coherent retelling of the actual plot. It takes way too long to explain any of these plot points in story. Characters constantly repeat themselves, there’s a bunch of small plot points I left out because we’d REALLY be here all year if we talked about this, there’s the original material where I have to give credit that she went and did this BUT ALSO DID YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS MANY TIMES WHAT THE BLACK FUCKING MOUNTAINS ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I’m not okay. Time for some deeper analysis of particularly notable parts.

The sex scenes are sadly some of the less entertaining sections. They’re pretty boring for the most part, but then you have shit like “I turned tigress” and my personal favorite, “when I took his nut sack and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing.” That exact sentence shows up TWICE in the fic, same wording and everything. Remember this, ladies, next time you have sex with a man, caress his nut sack. It’ll be his undoing. It’s not just the silly wording, though, there’s some stupid stuff in there too about how having sex makes your children stronger and also exactly how much fluid Jenna is ejecting which is a little bit alarming to say the least. Otherwise they’re a bit bland and use the same flowery language that you’d expect from poorly written erotica. Also they fuck in front of a bunch of monks. It’s for the bonding.

If you’re into LoZ lore then you’re going to have a bad time, too. My favorite thing is showing people the segment where Jenna explains how the OoT timeskip works because it makes zero sense to everyone, OoT fan or not. Let’s take a quick history lesson for OoT if you’re not familiar with it. In Ocarina of Time, a major plot point and element of gameplay is that Link travels between past and future in a seven year gap. From Link’s point of view, the change is instantaneous, right down to the fact that his age changes from child to adult and vice versa. To everyone else, they’re living those seven years. Time continues without Link there to observe it, and in Link’s absence Hyrule collapses. Thus is the plot--trying to stop Ganondorf from destroying the future with a power that Link and Zelda accidentally gave him. The point is all Non-Link people experience time normally, and the world moves on.

Somehow Jenna missed something that I inherently understood when I was a wee child of 8, barely able to play Ocarina of Time due to poor reading comprehension and lack of Zelda Puzzle Solving Skills™.

“Gannondorf tricked the soon to be "Hero of Time" into unlocking the door to the Sacred Realm. I even noticed that Zelda was a little older then I. Last I saw her she was four years younger then me. It was told to me that when Gannondorf went into the Temple of Time and into the Scared Realm, time jumped ahead in Hyrule seven years. Yet only two years passed in my land. And in the rest of the world.

After the "Hero of Time" defeated the King of Evil, the hero was granted to either return to the past or to remain in the present time. Since he chose to remain in the present Zelda jumped ahead of me in age by four years.  It seems that everyone in Hyrule jumped in age from the rest of the world.”

I’m not sure I really understand still. I’ve read this so many times trying to comprehend and maybe I’m just stupid but this doesn’t scan. But when you time travel it should affect the whole world or else that’d be pretty fucked. Back To The Future would be pretty wack if only Hill Valley was sent back to the 50s but everywhere else was still 80s.

God, I spent too much time on this. It still hurts my brain.

I also just have to have a section where I metaphorically hand Zelda a box of chocolates and a check for 5,000 dollars for even being in this mess. The real MVP of the story is Zelda for tolerating all this bullshit. She has to watch her father treat Jenna better than her, she gives Jenna a bracelet from her mother who is dead for Jenna’s wedding, she has to passively accept that because she isn’t married she’s lost her claim to the throne and it’s being handed over to Link and Jenna because despite both of them being nobodies they’re more legitimate heirs to the throne than the king’s own daughter. She also has to be the one to help Jenna birth her baby and it’s maybe a little bit weird to have the princess of a nation be your personal midwife. Even if she is your so called best friend. Were I ever in the circumstances of giving birth, I wouldn’t make my friends help. Please get an actual nurse. Also for some reason Jenna won’t stop calling her baby a miracle and it’s done so frequently it’s a little off-putting. Even the chapter where the child is born is called “The Miracle” like idk I know life is mysterious and miraculous but I’m not sure giving birth, something a lot of cis woman can do, is a “miracle.” Me not sobbing while reading this is a miracle. Zelda, honey, you deserve so much better.

I’m running out of things that will actually last a paragraph or so tangent wise, so time to wrap things up with smaller notes:

-Jenna thinks that you boot horses in the knees to get them moving. You are probably not riding a horse right if you can kick it in the knees while sitting on its back. That’s not even getting into other horse related mishaps like the fact that kneecapping them isn’t a good idea either.

-Link Jr. is capable of math at like, four months or something. I wish I was that talented.

-Ruto is my wife and I will not stand for this slander against her. Yeah, call me a fish fucker if you want, Sidon is cute too don’t @ me

-Take a shot every time Jenna mentions triforces on her outfit (actually don’t)

-Jenna makes a big deal about how Link has to go off to war and how she’ll miss him and he’ll miss her and it’s all very emotional but he’s back literally the next chapter

-One of my favorite moments is Mido rightfully pointing out that Jenna isn’t a Kokiri and thus has no right to receive a fairy but everyone thinks he’s being super rude for actually having common sense. They barely gave LINK a fairy and he grew up there!

-I inflicted this on my friends and it went as well as you’d think it would. Quote supplied by Jen who is not THAT Jen but a far superior one

-Somewhere in the fic suddenly Link and Zelda’s eyes are capable of changing color based on mood, or maybe they could do this the whole time and my eyes were changing based on mood alright, they were glazing over and I missed it

-Jen always types “threw” instead of “through” and it’s just enough to throw me off every time. Also every time a character starts a new sentence she starts another set of quotations even if they were already talking and occasionally she misspells “huge” as “hugh” which leads to some hilarious circumstances

-THEY DRANK EACH OTHER’S PISS

-Apparently when you are telepathically bonded with your Husband/Wife you aren’t allowed to be in a room with someone of the opposite sex AT ALL. Personally I think that reeks of insecurity

-Also because a good pal loses her shit every time we mention it, Jen couldn’t come up with a marriage ceremony that wasn’t just a christian one for a universe where christianity doesn’t exist, but she sure likes to put world building into those DAMN GRIFFINS

All in All? My Inner Life is not for the weak willed. It is INCREDIBLY long and redundant and while it’s still pretty funny, it’s mostly plain terrible. I consider is a much better showcase of what bad fanfiction is actually like, and also since it’s of a more standard awful, it means people can’t badly parody it while missing the point as to why it’s funny. So at least there will only be one My Inner Life and no imitators.

Seriously, I hate My Immortal imitators. Write your own terrible fanfiction, damn you! If I had a shot for every time a fanfic was compared to My Immortal I would be dead six years ago. Getting compared to MI is not a good thing, but not for the reasons you’d think. At least My Inner Life only shares the basic premise of a self insert character and the rest is a ride of complete bullshit that’s par the course for terrible Mary Sue fiction. Everyone loves Jenna for no reason and those who voice the valid concerns against her are seen as unreasonable and stupid. Characters are bent backwards to serve the threadbare plot and apparently Jenna’s love life alone is enough to constitute half of the story before we just plain forget it’s a Legend of Zelda fanfic and it goes off into some generic high fantasy horse crap with dragons and Griffins and some evil guy like what even is his name and it all ends without any real closure.

However if you are strong enough or maybe just a masochist (me) I highly recommend this fic for just being a test of endurance and also for all the funny little moments sprinkled throughout. It’ll certainly be a waste of time and it’s a good thing to read with friends. While it’s an oldie, it’s a goodie, and no one comes out unscathed.

Also the author apparently is a good sport about it now, although who knows. It’s just a thing I heard. While I like making fun of Jen throughout reading the fic, she doesn’t seem awful. Just perhaps young and unaware.

Truly, the real treasure was the piss we drank along the way. I’m sorry I will never be over that

#don't tell me tell #long post #REALLY LONG ASS POST #i couldn't sleep so i made this essay instead #i accept my fate as the bad fanfic expert #i might regret this later #but for now i need rest

[attemptedfilmcritic]

Spider-Man: Homecoming Review (Spoiler Free/Spoiler Talk Below)

Rating System: 

buy it on DVD or digitally (legally)

see it opening weekend

pay full price at the theatre

catch a matinee if you want

rent it for $3-$5

I wouldn't recommend it

As someone whose lived almost their entire in life in love with this character and has been on both spectrums at one time or the other with the Toby-Andrew feud, it is safe for me to say this is the best interpretation put to screen yet. Said every tv spot and critic ever so far. And, they're right. Well admittedly in most cases.

For Peter Parker/Spider-Man, there's one thing I picked up on throughout the movie that I could not drop or forget for the life of me. It's that Tom Holland is beat for beat Marty McFly in some key moments in this film. And that's not a bad thing! The way he delivers when in panic or excitement of any kind just screams 1980s Michael J. Fox to me. And I dig it. He had such a youthful and comedic charm which translates well with this character. Which helps with their allusions to ‘80s classic films. That's what this Peter as Spider-Man is like. He's panicky and screams his confusion. And he's genuinely pretty nerdy and innocent. He's apart of an academic club and was in band. I was in band, I know these things.

Speaking of comedy! This film is full of it, as promised with any film slapped with a Marvel Studios logo on it. It's done very well and not really shoved in your face. Sometimes its situational and sometimes it’s through written dialogue. It doesn’t sacrifice sincere moments for the sake of an extra laugh (a gripe Doctor Strange received a lot). The comedy is where it belongs and the powerful climactic superhero moments are where they belong. Nothing messily meshed. Save one joke, that was totally worth it.

The suit in the film is really interesting. I’ve always loved the design itself, but the features it provides is insane. And it makes sense character wise because it was built by Tony Stark. Of course its going to be over the top and have insane gadgets. But l love the Peter has no idea how to use them or even a clue why he would use some. Some critics were getting antsy about 576 web shooter combinations. “That’s outrageous! What happened to plain and simple Spider-Man?” Well I can tell you Peter agrees! It’s a great touch to his character. He’s from Queens and isn’t used to high-tech luxurious super-suits. He just uses what he knows. And that’s all he needs. Though, when it’s time to take advantage of some features its pretty neat.

The primary love interest is Liz (who would be a loose interpretation of Liz Allan). Her character somewhat correlates to her comic roots. She's popular. They got that right. This Liz is also smart and apart of the academic decathlon club, something I would not expect from Liz Allan in the comics. But in all honesty that's pretty much it for her character sadly. Not a lot said nor done. She's not annoying but not compelling either. His friend in this film is a huge departure from Harry Osborn. Not Ned Leeds confirmed (later Hobgoblin) but just “Ned”. I thought he was a great addition and carried a good amount of the comedy from this film. Some claimed he wavered back and fourth from annoying to funny. I never felt he was annoying. A breath of fresh air, since both portrayals of Harry were quite angsty and “I will never be good enough for my father” territory. This is nice. Just a positive friend there to help. Basically also joining Peter on this cool, adventurous, dangerous ride. 

Michael Keaton is a good baddie. He plays the part. Intimidating and has a motive, but sadly not really Loki tear of relevance and memorability. He's a good starting villain for Spider-Man. You are given an insight to why he does what he does. Granted, it's not Zemo level of tragedy. But he pulls his weight in the film. Not completely over-doing it into campiness but not phoning it in at all either. As for Shocker he's in a few scenes and is somewhat of a throwaway villain plucked from Spider-Man's rogue gallery. He's not a particularly interesting villain even in comic form so if he had not been there and was replaced with Bad Guy #2 the story wouldn't have lost a beat. I understand wanting new and never used bad guys adapted because “we have the rights now! Let's go crazy!” But I say quality over quantity. Vulture would've been—no, is plenty for the whole movie. And yes, Tinker gets a little bit too, but I argue he'll be more useful and brought back for future installments. Similar to what they're doing with Klaue. So he might actually have a pay off. Unlike Shocker, sadly. As for Donald Glover he's great! Only in two scenes, but cool. He's chill and even helps Spider-Man. I really want them to bring him back because he was criminally underutilized. The second scene with him is incredibly funny.

Right off the bat I will just say the ending is hilarious and made the entire theatre burst out laughing. I love the ending credits because it was new and thoughtful. It was youthful, yet again, and just made the part of watching the credits to get to the after credits scene more fun. It's colorful, which is what this movie is as well. It's bright and sunny. Marvel gets a good amount of flack for its gloomy cinematography despite its much more playful tones. Not all juxtaposition is good, translates well, or quite frankly makes sense. This movie breaks the trend. And it's fitting for a great summer-y superhero blockbuster flick. You want to have an exciting harmonious display to inflict a positive memory of seeing this movie on a relaxing summer day with your friends. You'll remember it with affection and ease. The stakes aren't as high with this film. The whole earth isn't in peril. There is conflict and tension but none too much that The Avengers themselves would have to come take care of. So it helps with the logic in that aspect of the universe as well. 

Quite recently I've been big on spotting patronizing films with telling and not showing. Or worse. When they do both. They don't trust the audience to put it together, watch, or be intrigued. Invested. But we are! This film does hardly any of that, though it is slight. Sam Raimi is king of showing and not telling thus far out of all three Spider-Man directors. But overall it treats its audience with respect. The pacing is balanced as well. Some scenes are slow for development and even plot purposes and others a grand and big for a superhero film. 

The theme of the film is slightly muddled and mixed for me to put my finger on. Overall it's to take responsibility. I mean, what else would it be? Do the right thing. When confronted with the Vulture, Peter is given a very clear and major threat on his life and his friends and family’s life. The whole scene he is clearly scared out of his mind. But he doesn't hesitate to drop everything and go after him the second he can. Knowing everything at stake. Because he has to. It's inspiring. He also humbles himself and feels the need to learn more and grow before becoming a full time Avenger. Ya know, go to school and stuff.

The musical score will have you smile with the opening theme. Otherwise, sadly nothing will top Danny Elfman’s. There aren’t any other distinct themes I picked up on could hum other than the iconic one everyone already knows. 

Rating time. I would say both see this opening weekend and buy it when it comes out. It's truly great and a prime example of fun popcorn movies that can have quality. Quality acting, special effects, writing, you know the drill. I'd recommend it for kids (probably 10+), teens, and adults. See it with your family, see it with your friends to support watching movies as great as this in the theatre. And for Marvel to keep making fun movies that are all creating a bigger interconnected world. Or! If you just simply love Spider-Man and only care about him!

Either way, just see it! 

Because it's honestly amazing.

SPOILER TALK

Now that the overall review is laid out I do want to give comments on…other things.

All I can say is I don't mind that Zendaya was/is “MJ” but I'm curious as to how they're going to play her out. Is her name solely just a wink at the character Mary Jane or is she going to be a genuine love interest? Time will tell, but personally I prefer the former. I'd really appreciate a plain and simple companionship between Peter and this character. I can't see these characters having a love for each other that isn't platonic. Let her be Michelle and let Mary Jane be Mary Jane. There doesn’t have to be some new spin or cross making of the sort. Preferable I’d say have this new character made be her own thing or adapt Mary Jane from the comics as well as you did with Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Because those two characters of Michelle and Mary Jane are absolutely nothing alike. Obviously. 

I'm picky about Spider-Man love interests, okay.

As for the connection of Liz being the daughter of Vulture it is hilarious, but has very little impact emotionally. Yes it is funny but you don't feel bad for Peter in the way you should. You feel bad because he's in a bind and can be harmed physically. Not because this girls parental ties puts a burden on their love or relationship. It gives temporary tension, which is awesome, but in the long run the relationship between Liz and Peter went nowhere and is more or less one-sided anyways. It had no strain. If they really developed Liz to have more depth and a mutual love and admiration for Peter it would be more painful, in a good way. But the tie doesn't hurt. It pays off when she has to move to Oregon(?) and is given a gentle boot for MJ to step into the shoes of the love interest. To which I ask, why not just have MJ be the main love interest in the first place? And I don't mean have Peter fawn over her the way he did with Liz, but in build a strong friendship that clearly indicates room for romance in the future. Start with some chemistry first. They know each other but I can't say they're even friends right now.

Also, I'm so glad they brought back Pepper and repaired her relationship with Tony. Honestly, I really missed her.

Also also! With Donald Glover’s role as Aaron Davis, Miles Morales totally exists in this universe as well! He even references having a nephew. I just really don't want them to kill off Peter Parker after the trilogy is over for Miles Morales. Keep them both! We can’t lose the best Spider-Man put to screen!

And the last after credits scene is clever as hell. Nothing special or big. Not baiting anymore movies or characters or plots. Just simple and new.

#spider-man: homecoming #spiderman #movie review #movie recommendation