#for context the liechtenstein army went to war with 80 soldiers

[alwayskaysanova]

anyway nile introduces the team to more technology and joe discovers podcasts

joe gets really in to the history podcasts but some people’s info is just plain Wrong so he decides to start his own

he swears to copley and the team that it will all be anonymous and no one will be able to trace it back to them but the people need to KNOW

he begins at the first crusades and slowly works his way through every conflict they’ve ever been involved with along with special episodes on famous people that he’s met along the way

nicky sits in on all the episodes and occasionally throws out a comment or acts as an alternative pov just to watch joe get all riled up ‘but is the earth truly round? where is the evidence?’ *joe spluttering in exasperation* (nicky very enthusiastically makes it up to him later)

andy special guest stars on a few episodes and drops all sorts of anecdotes from times before any of the team were alive ‘let me tell you something, cleopatra was more than just a pretty face, she could do this thing, with her tongue-’ 

*yusuf yelling* ‘off topic andy! lets move on!’

booker does a guest talk on napoleon and talks shit about him the whole time, ‘THE BUNNIES WERE RIGHT! THEY SHOULD HAVE EATEN HIM!’

when they find quynh she listens to it non stop purely so she can catch up on everything she’s missed, the team sometimes forgets the things she doesn’t know so they ask her opinion and every time she quips ‘the fish didn’t tell me about that one when i was in the ocean, drowning, please, do tell’

historians latch on to the podcast and collectively lose their minds bc HOW DO THEY KNOW ALL OF THIS THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH WE NEED SOURCES 

the podcast goes viral multiple times

joe really tries to keep himself as distanced as possible from the historical events he was involved in but sometimes he gets so into it that he slips up 

*yusuf al kaysani voice* AND THAT is why you should never let your husband go alone to liechtenstein because he will get lost and make friends with an army and go home with them and then you will have to go on a quest to get him back

no one can decide if joe is just really in to history, a time traveler or trolling the whole world

copley weeps

#yusuf al kaysani #joe x nicky #kaysanova #kaysanov: crack #the old guard #the old guard: crack #andromache #nicolo di genova #booker #nile #copley #for context the liechtenstein army went to war with 80 soldiers #they came back with 81 and the extra one was ITALIAN #and napoleon once got his friends to organise a rabbit hunt #except his friends were idiots and let loose 3000 bunnies #and all the bunnies just fucking charged at napoleon #bc of course they did #they knew he was trash