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achliegh · 3 years

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Grounded

Okay SO I really like Leo, I resonate with him as a character and his personality is like mine yet he is actually a good person. I don’t really know how to write happy, lovey-Dovey shit it makes me very uncomfortable and I just can’t. SO imma make this boy suffer but its just me projecting okay. Sorry Leo I Love you. Please read at your own risk, this is not an easy angst and can trigger people. Most of this is me venting through my own struggles in life and how I have handled them.

CW/TW: Food, Past Abusive relationship, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Attack, past age difference relationship (Illegal)

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Besides Luka, I made him up, don’t care for him tho

Coming off the ice with everyone was unusual to say the least, every normal day Leo would stay and practice with Kasey and their goalie coach. The Goalie Coach was sick and so was all their family. So today Leo and Kasey got off early and were able to shower and mess around with the other guys. Leo was so excited to drive home with his boys, he couldn’t stop smiling.

After a cool down, a shower and a few towel snaps to his ass from a rambuncis Kuny and James, they were walking out of the locker room to the players lounge. A “ding” came from Leo's phone and he went to look but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw coach Arthur talking to someone who looked very familiar. They were laughing at something Coach said, his boys looked back to him and Logan raised an eyebrow as Finn followed Leo's gaze.

“Shit” Leo went to move his hands to grab his hair but forgot his phone was in his hand and dropped it. His phone landed loudly on the floor making everyone look at him, but the only person he saw was Luka. Luka was Leo’s Ex-Boyfriend, they started dating when Leo was only 15 and Luka was 19, he used Leo as a toy! He made him do things he didn’t want to and act in a way that was cruel and he hurt him, in more ways than one. And… Leo thought he loved him. Looking back on everything he realized that this wasn’t a healthy relationship but it was his first real relationship.

“Leo?” Luka was staring at him surprised for a moment then an evil smirk started to slowly spread across his face. He was stupidly gorgeous and that was how he tricked people into relationships. His sharp brown eyes, his light hair practically white from bleach with his dark eyebrows, his giant muscular arms covered in tattoos and one of those just happen to be a Leo constellation. Leo was gonna be sick.

He could feel himself holding his breath practically waiting for something to cause him to crash. He knew his eyes were panicked so he decided to go complete goalie, no emotion, just nothing. He picked up his phone dusting it off and looked at his boys. Logan was concerned and Finn was just outright confused.

“You two know each other?” Finn asked when Leo finally met his eye, he had never mentioned anything about this guy or shown them pictures like he did with all his other friends back home. Yeah there were very few friends back home but maybe he only had a few friends! Finn never thought that Leo would have hid a whole person from them. Finn looked back at this man and saw this smirk, it was almost seductive and he was looking Leo up and down as if he was this guy's next meal. Then it clicked, this had to be an ex or maybe a one night stand, they knew Leo had the most sexual experience so it was plausible. But why Hide him?

Logan stepped towards Leo not having noticed Luka at all and put a hand on his forearm. Leo full on flinched away and so did Logan. Logan had seen Leo have panic attacks and knew when he needed contact and when he needed to be alone based on his mental state. Looking into his boyfriend's eyes, he needed to be alone. He turned and looked at Finn who was analysing the new guy so he grabbed Leo's hand slowly and started leading him out the door and towards the car. This caught Finn's attention and he followed them as they all silently got into the car.

Leo had completely shut down; he couldn’t think, speak, breath, or really do anything without feeling like he was 15 again. He shut everything out and put in his airpods turning his music up as loud as he could so no one could ask him questions. He gripped his sweatpants through his pockets where he stuffed his hands to keep from fidgeting and closed his eyes.

Finn reached for Logan's hand and squeezed it looking back at their boyfriend and then back at him. “I think that guy and Leo have a past.”

“From Leo's reaction I can guess that it wasn’t a good past.”

“Should we try to talk to him about this or should we wait until he talks to us?” Finn started the car and started driving back to the apartment but the only thing on his mind were the millions of questions slamming around. “What did you think about that guy?” he pulled into the parking garage and was looking for a spot.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to him. I was trying to figure out how I should approach Leo in a way that wouldn’t send him spiraling.” he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as Finn pulls into a parking spot. Leo was out the door so fast and he took the stairs up to the apartment instead of the elevator. The two left in the vehicle looked at each other for a second then both got out and ran after their boy. When they finally got to the apartment the door was still open and they could hear reaching sounds from the hallway bathroom.

Panicked Finn closed the door after them and grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen as Logan ran into the bathroom. Logan knelt next to Leo who had his arms crossed over the seat of the toilet with his forehead resting on his forearms. He was shaking in small tremors as everything, all the memories all the hurt came flooding back to him at once. Logan tried to set a comforting hand on his back.

Leo scrambled away wiping his mouth fitting his giant body into the small space between the toilet and the bathtub, curling in on himself raising his hands to block his face. “Don’t touch me! Don’t hurt me!” he started sobbing covering his face with his hands as Logan and Finn watched with their hearts hurting.

Both of them were wondering what happened to Leo to cause this. This level of fear wasn’t caused by a bad break up or a terrible one night stand. This was intense and made both of them sick with sadness. After about an hour Leo finally started calming down and the boys never left his side but also gave him space.

“Leo, baby it's Finn.” He came further into the bathroom from where he was standing in the doorway. He took the cap off the water bottle and was holding it out to Leo not wanting to trigger Leo again. Leo looked out from behind his hands at him and his heart broke with Leo's wide scared eyes being the brightest blue he’d ever seen, even with a puffy face and red rimmed eyes Leo still tugged at Finn's heart in a good way. It almost made him feel guilty because Leo was struggling right now. “ Can you drink some of this for me please?” He held the water a little closer to him and Leo took it, shakily, he took a chug big enough to empty half the bottle.

Just from that one drink Leo started to feel queasy all over again, still breathing hard but slowly coming back to himself, he needed to hear and feel his boys to ground him. He reached for Finn, dropping the water bottle and having it spill on the ground as he pulled himself out of his small space and into Finn's arms, gripping him like a lifesaver in the middle of the ocean. “Please say something, anything, I don’t care” He looked up to logan from over finns shoulder and reached for him as well.

“Why don’t we go get changed and get into bed mon coeur?” Logan grabbed his hand and was looking right into Leo’s soul, he felt himself nod because he was going to start crying again because of how much love he was slowly remembering he had. They stood him up slowly, he didn’t realize it but they must have flushed the toilet during his panic because he only saw clean now. They took him out of his clothes and laid him in bed in just his underwear, as requested, Skin on skin was needed right now. They crawled into bed, Leo rested his head on Finn's shoulder intertwining their hands as Logan laid his head on his chest. “We love you mon soleil” Logan would whisper to him over and over.

“We love you forever” Finn would run his thumb over Leo's hand and whisper into his hair.

Leo decided that these two lovely boys needed to know what happened and Leo needed to let them know for their own safety. He had been talking to Heather about this stuff for the year he was with the lions but it never felt like enough. He knew the boys had noticed his odd behavior, jumping when the phone rang or a door slammed too hard, anyone raising their voice around him (especially those two), and always apologizing as soon as one of them looked slightly annoyed.

“His name was Luka, the guy Arthur was talking to. He’s my Ex and…” he trailed off his hand that was tracing patterns on Logans back stilling as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “He has done a lot of bad things to me, I mean we started dating when he was 19, he is four years older than me. So, I felt like I needed to do everything he said I mean I was just a kid! I lost my virginity to him! I would do anything he told me to, whether it was something I was comfortable with or not. He.. he would threaten or hit me if I didn’t do what he said. I learned to do everything he said and momma was so scared for me but I was an idiot and believed I could handle myself. She never saw the bruises but she knew something was happening. I-I couldn’t take it anymore and I ran away from him one night and he said he would always know where I am and whose in my life and I never wanted anyone to feel trapped with me so that was the other reason why I never watched to get attached to anyone at all when I got drafted even though it was a year after I left him. Seeing him today-” everything came spilling out like he couldn’t stop and he was crying again with sobs wracking his body as his boys clung to him in a desperate plea to prove he was safe.

“Leo, we will always be there for you no matter what. We will protect you.” Logan was talking in a slow soothing voice as he wiped away his tears and kissed his forehead. “Nothing changes the way we love you” Finn was squeezing his hand and had tears pricking his own eyes as everything Leo spilled to them was just setting into his mind. HIS Leo was treated that way by a man the same age as he is. Finn couldn’t imagine treating anyone like that.

“We don’t make you feel trapped, do we? I mean we are the same age as him, but I want you to know that I could never hurt you like that Leo, I can’t even think about something like that happening to you.” A few tears fall as he wraps his free arm around both his boys holding tightly.

"I'm so happy you told us Peanut" Logan saw the tiniest smile at the pet name. "I won't ever let him touch you again! If we ever make you feel like that in any way please tell us"

“You could never make me feel that, I feel the safest I have in a long time with you two. You keep me grounded.”

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #oknutzy #o'knutzy

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