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wallwriterstuff · 3 years

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Baby’s First Christmas ||Demetri Volturi x Female Reader||

Part 1: Found Family

Warnings: Mentions of death very briefly but the majority of this is tooth rotting christmas fluff.

Words: 3707

Summary: A request for @raindancer2004

A Christmas one-shot for Found Family. It’s Lyra’s first Christmas with Demetri in the home he has brought for himself and his new family, and he goes overboard ensuring his little girl is spoiled rotten.

There are had been many horrible days in the past year. Your boyfriend of the time had packed up and left in April, your daughter born to you in the January where your only support in the room was a midwife who had been called in last minute to replace the one suddenly taken ill. Your best friend leaving to a new city in March, never to be heard of again despite leaving you the gift of a lovely holiday – where you almost died. Meeting Demetri was one of the few highlights of your year if you were honest, and life had gradually improved since with his video calls, once weekly and suddenly every other day when you both realised you physically couldn’t cope with the silence for more than 24 hours at a time.

Then your parents died.

Demetri had flown straight out, taking some extended leave to ensure you had someone to lean on in your grief. Lyra had needed someone to care for her properly on the days your tired body couldn’t cope. It wasn’t until you had came crawling pitifully down the stairs for some sleeping tablets at 3AM once that you understood how difficult it had been for him, catching him hunched over a baby book as he absorbed every word in an effort to be the perfect caregiver for your daughter. When he’d asked you to let him look after you in a more permanent fashion, you’d agreed without hesitation. He had taken you back to Volterra the following week, helping you pack your possessions, sell what you didn’t want, and send things off to await your arrival. You’d ignored the looks of your neighbours, the old kooks peering through the curtains to eye you with disdain. What kind of woman moved to a new country with her boyfriend of four months after all? Obviously, you had to be knocked up again.

They had no understanding of just how deep the bond between you and Demetri was, not a single idea of how all-consuming, soul warming and fulfilling your love for each other had grown to be. Your new home was ready and waiting and it was beautiful, a little Tuscan cottage all of your own on the outskirts of town, far from the danger of the Volturi’s castle and away from prying eyes where you could raise your daughter in peace. He had spared no expense at all, letting you decorate to your hearts content in an effort to move on with your life, away from the grief and the pain the world had tried to beat you down with before he lifted you above it. Now…now you were feeling that familiar, frazzled feeling. You had gone to Florence for the day, leaving Demetri alone for a full day with lyra for the first time since…ever. It was as much a test for him as it was for you. You found yourself missing Lyra not ten minutes into the drive towards the city, having spent most of your time with her for the past 11 months since she’d been born.

What had followed had been one stressful problem after the next as you tried to complete your Christmas shopping for your found family. You had been forced to visit the castle once or twice to declare yourself to the Masters’ as Demetri’s mate, but a few of his friends had also come to visit you. Felix was a family favourite, though his size unnerved your daughter when Lyra first met him, and the twins had been curious about the baby Demetri had been telling them about. In your mind, they were still children and very much deserving of Christmas presents. The twins didn’t give much away, so you’d guessed at a lot of the things they might like but were fairly happy with you haul. Felix had been the only one that was easy to buy for to but Demetri…what did you get for the man that had everything and wanted nothing? He had given you the world and a pair of socks didn’t seem to be the best kind of repayment.

You had agonised for hours, walking around in a bustling shopping mall where the fluorescent lights made your eyes hurt and the constant chatter in rapid Italian made your head spin. Demetri had been teaching you but you were by no means fluent, and the people in the city spoke much faster than the local market stall owners you had gotten to know – you were starting to suspect they slowed down for you on purpose. Your day had been long and your stress levels high. You just wanted to settle down with your mate and your daughter, cosy up for the night perhaps, but you still had gifts to wrap. Maybe it could wait. Christmas day was still a few weeks away yet, you hadn’t even put up a tree to put your presents under.

Eyes trailing to the bags in the back of your car, you bit your lip softly and felt your heart skitter in your chest. You hoped they would like their presents but you weren’t holding out much hope of a thank you, especially not from the twins. Demetri had heard of the Christmas holidays but the traditions surrounding it were new news to him, and it had taken a lot of explaining before he finally seemed to understand how important this was for you to celebrate.

Lyra’s first Christmas.

When she had been born and you’d started thinking of these things you would never in your wildest dreams have imagined she would be spending it in her new home in Italy, nowhere near her biological father and without her doting grandparents, yet here you were. With a quiet sigh, you steeled yourself to put on a happy face and gathered your things to enter your home. Immediately, you were hit by the smell of spring flowers, a sure sign Demetri had been cleaning today. How he had found time to do that while caring for Lyra you didn’t know but you put it down to his vampirism. If it wasn’t so important for Lyra to grow up with you around in her formative years you might have considered turning sooner purely for the perks of moving fast and not needing sleep anymore, though she was starting to sleep better now and was on her way to her first full night of rest.

Upon opening your door your world became bright and colourful, not the neutral tones of your hallway you were used to. Bright red tinsel was wrapped around your stair railing, twisting upward to the second floor of the cottage, and it framed the photographs adoring the walls in a dazzling array of red, green and blue. A few snowflakes had been tied to the poles of the stair railing by some white ribbon. Slowly, you placed your bags by the door and closed it behind you, locking it for added safety before venturing carefully into your home. You hadn’t remembered asking Demetri to put up any decorations, hell you didn’t even think you owned any, so where had all this come from? The glass in the door leading from the hallway to the living room was frosted, but you were able to see a dark shape moving back and forth, the vague outline of a Christmas tree.

Your kitchen had a tiny tree on the breakfast bar, a Christmas themed tablecloth lying over your dining room table and, much to your amusement, little festive gel stickers on the window looking out over the garden. The legs of Lyra’s high-chair was also wrapped in tinsel. You couldn’t help but smile as you turned towards the living room, listening to the conversation inside.

“Not here either? You are fussy today your highness.” Demetri’s voice was light, teasing, completely at ease. Lyra had grown to be quite the babbler and he was more than happy to engage in conversation with the eleven-month-old girl, even if she couldn’t form proper words just yet. More garbled noises escaped your daughter and when you peeped around the doorframe, your heart melted. Demetri’s Christmas tree had been trimmed to be a little lopsided, not quite to your tastes, but he had tried. Lyra was on her blanket, surrounded by her toys, but none of them seemed to be taking her interest as she sat and watched Demetri put the last few ornaments on a frankly overcrowded tree. There were glistening lights and tinsel and beads and tinsel and baubles and…and…

“Is that…Demetri is that my parents?” you asked, having to swallow around the lump that had formed in your throat. He turned to look at you, still holding the last bauble of a big box of them in his hands. For a moment he said nothing, simply watched you take in all the lights and ornaments he’d put up about the place, the stockings by the fireplace personalised for you and Lyra. How much had he spent? How hard had he worked?

“Yes. I understood Christmas celebrations as something you did with family from how you explained them to me, so I thought they should be here in some way,” He said softly. Tears welled in your eyes and he frowned, “Is it not what you wanted? I can always redecorate?” he looked a little lost as you wiped your eyes and hurried into the room to scoop up Lyra, smiling through your tears as your overwhelmed heart skittered in your chest. This man was just too much for you. Bouncing her on your hip you pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Have you seen this? Look what Da – Demetri’s done for us!” you quickly caught yourself, your voice shaking with the intensity of your emotion. It was too much but in all the best ways. Lyra was absorbed immediately by the twinkling lights on the tree as you brought her closer, showing her the glass bauble with your parents photograph in. She looked back at you, head turning so fast it almost fell off her little shoulders.

“Ah!” she exclaimed, looking back between you and the bauble. Head nodding you tenderly brushed your hand over her hair. It had started to grow a bit more recently and you were able now to twist small pieces at the front around your fingertip. Demetri kissed your temple, winding an arm around your waist.

“Welcome home.” He murmured, lips trailing along your shoulder, up your throat. Your head tilted automatically and you could feel him smiling at your obvious submission.

“This is perfect.” You whispered. He chuckled.

“I tried my best.” He assured you.

“Our house is clean.” You noted.

“Hmmm, hardly any evidence of disaster.” He agreed with a cheeky grin as you turned to face him. Lyra wriggled, wanting to be put down. She had started crawling just last week and after a bit of rocking, managed to haphazardly crawl back towards her toys. You watched her go with adoring eyes.

“She seems happy.” You said. Demetri chuckled, cupping your cheek tenderly.

“I told you I could do it,” He turned you to face him, embracing you properly this time. You melted into his arms, kissing him sweetly before resting your head against his shoulder. “You seem very tense.” He murmured, fingertips skating up and down your spine. Your nose scrunched.

“Christmas shopping is a tense activity.” You retorted wryly.

“Ah, I have yet to experience the joys. Is there anything you want?” he wondered. You smiled, curling closer to him.

“I have everything I need right here.” You sighed contentedly, basking in the warm glow of fairy lights. Demetri didn’t reply, simply held you close and kissed your forehead. You were rather excited the next day, to wrap and put his presents under your newly decorated tree. Lyra took to helping you with the bows and after a constant battle of wrestling the one she chose from her tiny hands you had some fully wrapped presents…which you then had to keep your child away from. What you didn’t understand was how the present pile just kept growing…and growing…and growing…

Finally, four days before Christmas Day, you caught Demetri in the act. With a cough and some raised eyebrows, you had the suave tracker smiling sheepishly.

“Yes, my love?” he asked, feigning innocence terribly.

“Just how many presents have you brought Demetri? You do know Lyra is only turning one in January, right? She won’t remember half of these things. Christmas is what you do, not what you buy.” You reminded him. His sheepish smile turned cheeky as he moved at lightning speed to place the last of the presents in his bag around the tree, since there hadn’t been room under it for weeks now, and raced over to pull you against him. He stole your breath and anymore scolding words you’d prepared with a single, heated kiss. If he was trying to distract you, it worked wonders.

“Not all are for my princess,” he assured you, his hand slipping to your rear end to pull your hips flush against his, “Some are for my queen.” Cheeks heating in a blush, you swatted his chest and turned your face back to the ginormous pile of presents in the corner of your living room. There were quite a few big boxes and something that reminded you suspiciously of a rocking horse.

“Demetri. You know we don’t need all of this right?” you turned back to look at him, hands sliding up his chest to his neck. His hair was always so soft and you loved nothing more than to play with it on the evenings. He purred softly, leaning into your touch with a hum of approval.

“Is it so bad I wish to spoil you both?” he murmured, eyes closed as you twisted the hair at the nape of his neck around your fingers. Leaning up on your tiptoes, you pressed your mouth to the corner of his in a teasing kiss. Demetri immediately turned, trying to seek more from you, but you pushed him back with a soft sigh.

“You’re too much you know that? If you really want to spoil me, a nice cup of tea for when I come down to snuggle with you will be enough.” You smiled. Demetri’s eyes rolled but he nodded.

“Of course. This is the first of many Christmases like this you know, I have every intention of spoiling you both for the rest of eternity…that and, well…nothing I bought seemed good enough.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. You tilted your head.

“Demetri you know us better than anyone, I’m sure whatever you’ve bought is going to be perfect.” You promised, taking one last look at the giant present pile with a fond shake of your head before going in hunt of your cosy pyjamas. You really regretted saying that to him come Christmas day however, when you had wrapping paper littering your floor and a pile of presents you had no clue how to find homes for. The best perfumes and the clothing brands’ you would never have asked for all needed a place in your walk-in wardrobe for example, but he had already filled it with brand new designer tags when you first moved in. Lyra was surrounded by toys, looking mildly overwhelmed by the choice but utterly thrilled with all the bright colours and sounds coming from them, though her favourite so far seemed to be the simple teddy bear, one she hadn’t let go of since she had unwrapped it. Demetri was currently sat with her on the floor, Lyra resting between his legs as he helped her unwrap a present from Felix.

“Can you guess what it might be?” he asked her. Lyra was frowning, the deep concentration it took to tear at the paper with her fists evident on her face. Demetri stepped in to unstick a bit of sellotape that was making it tricky for her, his free hand gently smoothing over her hair as they worked on the present together. It was a heart-warming sight, one that only made you more confident in your gift to him.

“Dabaga.” She sounded so cross with the resistant bit of paper you both laughed, unable to help yourselves.

“I know princess, how mean of Uncle Felix to wrap it so tightly. Shall I help you do the rest?” he questioned. Lyra made another angry, garbled noise, smacking her fists on the paper in frustration. Demetri chuckled. “Alright alright, here.” He soothed, deftly unwrapping the bright pink paper from around the box Felix had put his present in. Lyra was able to lift the lid herself, looking pleased with her small victory before she tipped the box onto its side, its contents spilling into her lap. Her head snapped up to Demetri, eyes wide as she pointed at it.

“Gar!”

His face feigned shock as he nodded along, watching her pick up and inspect the small toy. There were no tags of any description or branding on the side, and you had a feeling that the pull along ducks had been made by the giant man by hand.

“They are ducks, princess,” Demetri pointed them out one by one, “A little family just like ours, a Mommy duck and a baby duck.” You noticed he pointedly left out a label for the larger duck and decided that was the perfect moment to interrupt the dynamic duo. You searched through the torn-up paper to find the small bag you had prepped for Demetri, crawling over to hand it to him as you welcomed Lyra into your lap when she crawled for you. She held her teddy bear up to you and you subconsciously leaned down to kiss it, holding her close. Demetri read the tag, glancing up at you both with a smile.

“Merry Christmas.” You said softly. His eyebrows rose slightly, the trepidation on your face confusing him almost and making him slightly more wary to open the bag you had taped shut. You stopped Lyra wriggling, hushing her slightly as you watched him. It was impossible to deny you felt nervous, unsure how he would react to the presents inside, cheap and corny but…heart-felt. Stomach churning, you were hyper-focused on his face as he opened up the bag. Nothing inside it was wrapped but there was a layer of tissue paper to move aside. Demetri paused, carefully setting the gold, shimmering paper to his left as he examined the contents of the bag. For a moment, he looked up at you in bewilderment, as if to see if you really meant it, then his breath-hitched and he reached in to reverently take out the things inside. His socks, mug and t-shirt were all inscribed with a simple but meaningful slogan, one you hoped he would understand.

“Do you mean it my love? Truly?” he asked, voice wavering. His eyes appeared to glisten, like he wanted to cry even though he wasn’t capable of it. You on the other hand could, and a single tear slipped down your cheek.

“Yes. Please? Be our Daddy duck?” your heart clenched and you almost stopped breathing as you watched his composure completely break. Demetri huffed a laugh you were sure was supposed to really be a sob, but he carefully placed his presents down into his bag and crawled across the paper to hold you both. He bent at the waist to press a kiss to Lyra’s cheek first, then shifted upward to give you a kiss that was far hungrier, far more passionate. He captured your lips over and over until you were breathless, dizzy with desire. Pressing his forehead to yours, he squeezed your hip lightly.

“Always. I will be yours as long as you will have you me. I never thought I could have a family, that things could be like this, but this is…this is perfect.” He whispered. Through your watery eyes you could still the socks peeking over the edge of his bag, World’s Best Dad emblazoned on the sides. Lyra seemed to sense this was an emotional moment to, putting her toys down in favour of taking Demetri’s large hand and tugging for his attention. He pulled back with a slow exhale, smiling down at her.

“What is it princess? You want to open more presents?” he asked. Lyra tugged at his hand again, trying to pull it past her little body it seemed. Demetri looked confused a little bit, neither of you really understanding what you wanted till he pulled her into his lap to see. She settled into his abdomen, leaning back against him quite happily. Lyra’s eyes met your own and you could have sworn if a baby could look smug, that was how you would best describe her expression.

“Are you jealous of Daddy giving Mommy kisses? Is that it? Huh?” you asked her. Demetri grinned, red eyes sparkling. They matched the Christmas lights perfectly. He easily lifted her up in the air, nuzzling her tummy with his nose before peppering soft kisses all over her cheeks to make her giggle. You began to collect the paper up as they played together.

“I can get that done in half the time, let me.” Demetri offered. You shook your head.

“It’s alright, I don’t want to interrupt Daddy-Daughter time.” You teased. Demetri just grinned brightly, looking happier than he had been since you met him. He was watching you like you had given him the world and more, and maybe you had in some respects, since Lyra was the world to you. His new title far outweighed any ranking he had gotten in the Guard and somehow, you had managed to ensure Lyra spent her first Christmas with her Daddy after all. He settled back against the edge of the sofa, Lyra straddling his lap as they both explored her teddy bear once more, her babbling filling your ears as she showed him all the buttons and patches on it that made for interesting new textures for her to feel. Demetri nodded along, the perfect little play partner for her on the most wonderful Christmas day.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #volturi #demetri volturi #demetri volturi x female reader #christmas oneshot #felix volturi #he does woodwork #i will die on this hill #tell me the twins wouldn't get stockings from reader

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crasherfly · 3 years

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Weekly Update

Welp, this aint Tuesday.

Tuesday, Tuesday Tuesday.

Imagine it already being almost Tuesday.

I know better than to think my pithy life updates will be worth the space come Tuesday, so here I am, on a Monday, keeping my appointment ahead of time.

I don’t have much life experience. Growing up in a small town in Iowa, I was shielded from pretty much anything consequential- very much by design. So I have a hard time relating to the potential rising storm on the other side of tomorrow.

Best context I can come up with is when I was in Florida for Hurricane Matthew. It was a storm that came out of nowhere, suddenly forming and then threatening the state on a scale best described as apocalyptic. I had about 24 hours warning that it was coming but still made the trip south anyway.

The night before landfall I stood in line at my hotel’s pizza place for 4 hours to order food. I rushed a shelf for what was left of the water and beer. I prepared to hold up in my room for days, if necessary, armed with these laughable supplies and my playstation. Had an actual crisis arisen, I would have been doomed. But I guess one ends up in this kind of position when they never believed in the crisis to begin with.

Walking back to my room, two giant pizzas and a pack of beer under arm, I listened to ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE by The Scorpions. I tweeted the experience when I’d returned to my room, still seeking brevity in the face of very real danger.

I got lucky. The hurricane ended up being a non-factor for my inland location. By the afternoon of landfall I was out and about, snapping photos and enjoying the brisk breeze. Many other hotel patrons were doing the same. Within 24 hours my vacation was back on schedule as though nothing had happened.

I felt profoundly silly for waiting in line for pizza and beer, of all things. I felt a wave of banal regret as I considered the time I lost agonizing over whether or not to cancel my vacation outright. Once again, my midwestern sense of I TOLD YOU SO was reinforced- Midwesterners hate nothing so much as overreacting- you could tell your average bible-belt dweller that the sun is going to swallow us whole tomorrow morning and their reaction would be “oh, that’s just speculation”.

For us of the insulated interior, nothing seems real or consequential. A hurricane won’t touch us. We’ll never experience an earthquake. Forest fires and drought rarely reach our state lines. An army would never survive the march to our fields. Our cities are too small to house the stark disparity and disfunction of coastal cities- that’s not to say they’re well run or that such disparity doesn’t exist- it simply gets passed over, hidden more readily. And with each national crisis that passes us over, we become more and more hardened in the belief that none of this really matters, after all.

In 2016, I didn’t believe Donald Trump could be elected. I still remember going to my polling station Election Day morning, voting for Hillary Clinton, and returning to my car in all of 10 minutes. I had my voter sticker. I felt like I’d done my part to help maintain sanity for another 4 years. My favorite writers were braying and crowing of the pending landslide, a promise that we wouldn’t just beat Donald Trump, but that we would bury him. I, in my midwestern sensibility, believed it without question. I didn’t check the web or tune in to the news. I simply assumed things work out.

The morning after Election Day, of course, I learned otherwise, and for the first time in my life, my midwestern sense of security was not just challenged but shattered. Something consequential had happened, something that could reach me where I lived.

And of course, since then, things have continued happening- things that are impossible to ignore, impossible to fend off with pizza and beer and The Scorpions. In my own city, I’ve experienced Covid, economic shutdowns, business closures, protests both peaceful and violent, military-enforced curfew and more. We all joke about every year being it’s own special hell, but for many Midwest-bred folks, 2020 really has been the first year that we couldn’t just ignore.

Even so, others in more isolated parts of the midwest found a way to reason past it. I still remember two days after the election, talking to my dad on the phone, asking him how he’d dealt with past consequential political swings.

“Well, you just have to remember the sun will keep rising, and the president is just one person. Things likely won’t change much, and good people will stand up to him if things get too bad.”

Yeah uh. That advise...sage-like as he probably thought it sounded...didn’t...uh...hold up...very well.

It’s four years later and my dad is asking me if he should expect me to drive down to Iowa in the next week, concerned my city might become unsafe. I tell him that I’ll only leave if federal-backed boots are on the ground. My mom tells me in a conversation earlier this week that she believes a coup is possible and that the military will side with the current president. She says if that happens, she’s made her peace with god and expects the Rapture at any given moment.

It is wild how big a difference 4 years can make. I tell them both that they should certainly pray if it makes them feel better- but before they pray, they should vote.

Come the day after Tuesday, there will be no such thing as being too inland. And there will be no vacations to return to for a long, long time.

So here’s something I’m doing- I’m not drinking until Thanksgiving.

I started November as I had started it almost every other year- with a massive fucking hangover.

I woke up with cotton mouth, gagging for water and with a headache that is STILL hounding me on November 2nd. It was a nasty, ugly, full six pack IPA hangover. It was awful. Worth it, ‘cuz I had a fantastic night of friends and gaming, but also....ugh. I felt like death. I barely got out of bed. I didn’t work out. I ate a shit ton of Italian takeout. It was a waste of a day-after.

Now, we all know that clinically speaking, I’m at least a borderline functional-alcoholic. Anyone who’s been reading along with these blogs knows it, and I’m not shocking the world by admitting it. I’ve been tracking my drinking habits since JUNE and the numbers don’t lie. I drink. A. Lot.

And as I continue to strive for a healthier life- where I’m making wiser choices that allow me to both look and more importantly feel my best- it’s hard to ignore the elephant in the room- that drinking, by and large, has held me back from doing this. I have almost always traded the progress I’ve made from working out and eating well for far too many bottles of beer and sake.

Again, I’ve been tracking this since June- and the numbers tell a story that is frankly infuriating- huge gains in miles run, reps lifted, fruits and vegetables consumed, hours meditated- only to be marred by alcohol consumption habits that would leave me two steps back after a very difficult single step forward.

I don’t think I need to quit drinking forever, because that isn’t sustainable. But I do think that I need to rethink my relationship with alcohol. I need to consider why I drink it when I do. I need to think about why I drink as much of it as I do. I need to interrogate whether the benefits are really as necessary as my guts tell me they are.

So, with this in mind, I’m taking some time away from the bottles. I’m not doing anything fancy to keep myself on track- just an extra box on my excel sheet that asks me if I drank today or not. A little x and I go on with my night.

I look forward to reporting how I feel after Thanksgiving. Maybe nothing will change! Or maybe I’ll have some profound insights. If nothing else, I’m sure my organs will thank me. Here’s to trying something new and potentially healthy!

So now that the personal update is over, let’s talk some games and stuff.

Here’s what I’ve been playing this past week.

Valkyria Chronicles (Switch)

I had a serious turn-based strategy itch this week, so I finally reloaded Valkyria Chronicles with a goal of finishing it. Six-ish hours later, I’m still not done, having only completed two missions. But I’m having a blast, and that’s what’s important.

Valkyria Chronicles is a turn-based strategy game where you take control of a squad of anime soldiers who fight in a sort of sci-fi alternate World War 2. You control the action from an overhead map, zooming in to individual soldiers as you select them. After selecting a soldier, you can move them freely across the map and direct them to attack targets or take cover. You get a set number of “commands” per turn. After you run out of commands, the enemy takes their own turn. This continues until one side is wiped out or the win condition is achieved.

This is still my first run with the game, so I don’t have a full clear under my belt just yet. What I’ve played is deeply enjoyable, although slow. The AI’s turns take forever and often are difficult to parse out, filled with pointless moves for the sake of making moves. A number of missions contain objectives that just straight up aren’t fun, but still take a ton of time to accomplish. Many involve avoiding an unkillable enemy or chasing an incredibly fast target before it exits the map. These missions are a drag and often leave me feeling too fatigued to play more than one mission at a time.

The story doesn’t hold much impact for me, and occasionally I’m reminded that the cute anime soldiers are in fact putting a deeply attractive face on the horrors of war, and that dissonance occasionally takes me out of the experience. The characters are all well designed and the Squadron 7 troops were clearly rendered with the intent that everyone would be able to find a handful of favorites to roll with throughout the game. Even so, there’s nothing so deep as the systems later TBS games like XCOM2 or Fire Emblem: Three Houses would implement

That said, there’s just enough going on here to keep me engaged. And I deeply appreciate the lack of bloat- there’s no grinding or farming required to finish Valkyria Chronicles, which makes it feel lean and efficient compared to other titles. And although the story doesn’t do much for me, personally, I can see how others would find it very endearing. I look forward to finishing it soon enough.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Switch)

As you’ll see, this was a big weekend for my Nintendo Switch. I recently upgraded my memory card, which allowed me to finally download my entire library back onto my system. So I was able to finally revisit some unfinished projects, including Luigi’s Mansion 3.

The gist of Luigi’s Mansion 3 is that you’re Luigi, you’re in a haunted hotel, your pals are missing and there are ghosts to be caught. There’s some puzzles to be solved here and there, but a huge portion of your time will be spent holding down the vacuum button as you suck up anything that isn’t literally tied down.

As I spent some more time with Luigi across two floors, I was immediately struck by just how lovely the level design is. Each room is its own little shadowbox, holding surprises and hidden treasures for its players. Everything is just so...fun, so pleasing to look at and absorb...in a vacuum. You can tell that a lot of love and brevity went into building of this game, and every time I play it, it just makes me feel really...nice.

Luigi’s isn’t a particularly challenging experience, although occasionally I’ll run across a puzzle that I’m just too dull to figure out. I tend to tackle it at about a floor per play before going to something else.

Pikmin 3 (Switch)

I haven’t made it far through Pikmin 3, but what I’ve played has been very lovely.

In Pikmin 3 you play as a crew of space explorers who get separated after an accident. In their efforts to repair their ship and locate each other, they harness the powers and abilities of the Pikmin, native creatures with special powers who work together to accomplish tasks. Each mission takes place under a daily timer that works against you. When the timer runs out, day turns to night and your Pikmin run the risk of being devoured by predators. Because the Pikmin are adorable, you will often find yourself working equally hard to accomplish your mission tasks while striving not to lose even one solitary Pikmin.

I never caught this game on the Wii U, so I’m glad that it’s finding a second life so players like myself can enjoy it properly. I know a lot of people complain about all these remakes, but I think we all forget just how silly and limited the Wii U’s run really was. Even if the price for these years old games is steep, there’s still an audience out there who will find these experiences worth it. I guess count me among them.

Among Us (PC)

I’ve watched the girls of Hololive (EN) play this, but never had a chance to play it myself. It seemed fun, but I was never quite able to suss out just what exactly was happening. Gawr and Ame are lovely, but sometimes they lack on explaining just how what they’re playing works.

For Halloween I had the chance to play this game with 9 of my friends and it was an absolute blast.

The quick primer for those not familiar- you’re part of a crew that is scrambling to fix its ship. Human crew members get a list of tasks to finish. Impostor crew members get a list of fake tasks- and can also sabotage the ship and kill humans. If a body is discovered or a panic button pressed, every living crew member confers and debates on whether or not to airlock somebody. This is decided by popular vote. If too many humans bite the dust, the Impostors win. If the humans kill all the impostors or finish their tasks, they win. So, think like, the Press the Button game from Jackbox, or Battlestar Galactica.

Safe to say this is a game that will be a party mainstay for years to come. At five bucks and with cross-platform compatibility, it is also incredibly accessible.If you haven’t had the chance, get a few folks together and give it a shot. You might just love it.

NeoGeo Arcade Stick Pro

I have a deep love for mini-retro consoles. There’s this dream that I’ll hoard all these up and then someday be able to share gaming history with my little nephews and nieces, should they ever be allowed to look at screens. (debate pending on that one). To date, I have the NES Mini, SNES Mini, Sega Genesis Mini, and the Turbografx-16 Mini.

And now I have the NeoGeo Arcade Stick Pro. With 40 pre-loaded games and a heft bit of plastic, it is one of the most tactile mini-consoles in my collection.

Ever since joining Spriteclub, I’ve gained a new appreciation for retro-games, specifically fighting games like King of Fighters. It occurred to me that I’d never played with a home arcade stick before, so I did some research on what a good starting option would be. Sure enough, SNK had my back, and I found the Arcade Stick Pro.

With 40 games, half of which being 2D fighting games, you’ll not only gain a solid, multi-platform fight stick, but you’ll also have a good number of games to practice with. If you ever wanted ALL of King of Fighters or Art of Fighting, well, here they are.

There are a few quirks with this machine, however. 20 of the games have to be loaded separately via a USB stick for...reasons. Some of the games appear to be totally untranslated, and I have yet to figure out how to add more credits beyond the base number given. I’ll continue to tinker, but it seems like a shame that the fight stick would lack these features, whereas collections like the ACA releases on Switch feature translation options and unlimited credits. To say the least, being left at the mercy of the game’s difficulty level can be daunting, at best.

The stick itself is well constructed and the pad has a good weight that will feel secure on your lap or a tabletop. It does require an additional accessory if you wish to use it for your PS4, but otherwise should be ready for use with your PC or Switch without additional hassle.

The Arcade Stick Pro is a deeply cool peripheral with a few tradeoffs that would make an awesome gift for someone who loves retro-fighters or for a younger person who is looking to learn more about retro-gaming in general. It’s also a cost-effective solution for SNK fans who aren’t keen to spend $500 on SNK’s pending home arcade machine, but still want an at home stick experience.

Oculus Quest 2

I’ve long looked at VR as just barely a step up from mobile gaming, with gimmicky technology and a library bloated with shovelware.

So it was a delightful surprise when I booted up the Oculus Quest 2 and found myself responding with a simple “woah”.

And that was just the setup screen.

The Quest 2 is a surprisingly immersive device with a big long list of caveats.

First, we’ll address the most obvious concern- yes, facebook activation is required, unless you’re a particularly clever sort.

Second, the VR tech itself is impressive. I have bad vision, worse than most, and yet I was able to mostly acclimate to the headset with little issue. But the picture was rarely fuzzy or out of focus and the experiences I partook in were immersive and satisfying. The base audio is a bit quiet, but does the job, and the lens focusing isn’t as big of a hassle as I figured it might be. Replacing parts on the Quest is easy enough, and the set doesn’t feel too heavy on my face.

Now for the caveats. The battery life on this thing is incredibly short. Maybe a couple hours at best. The controllers use AA batteries, so that’s worth considering as well. Everyone will be able to hear what’s blaring on your headset speakers, so investing in earbuds may be a need depending on your household. Finally, purchasing the infamous Elite Strap is a necessity- the straps included on the Quest 2 are woefully insufficient for securing the headset to your face. There are also additional fitted faceplates that might be of necessity as well, depending on the shape of your face.

The game library is also seemingly smaller than I’d ever guessed. There are ways to link this thing to your PC, but it requires a bit more fuss than most people will want to bother with. Even then, word on the street is that it is the sort of solution that is deeply reliant on a strong wired internet connection and an able-bodied PC. Those will be deal-breakers for many people.

I’ve played Tetris Effect, Superhot, VR Chat, and spent a great deal of time with various streaming apps including Amazon Prime, Netflix and Mozilla Firefox.

Tetris was a bit too intense for me. Lots of flashing lights, a pulsing soundtrack and vibrating controllers became a near overload for me. Superhot was really, really cool. I felt like I was in The Matrix, and the uncanny sense of grabbing and holding objects was a real “wow” moment for me. As far as shooters in VR goes, it appears to be the obvious winner. VR Chat is a deeply strange and silly world that seems to be populated exclusively by drunk and stoned men in their mid 20s who just need somewhere to scream problematic shit. But it’s occasionally good for a laugh and the worlds are tailor-made for VR.

The Amazon and Netflix apps are good stand-ins for people who genuinely miss the theater experience. The digital theater and lighting effects are nice touches and make you feel as though you’re having your own private screening. However, the stream quality is often a bit rough- you will likely not experience a 4K film any time soon- and the Quest’s battery life makes it unlikely that you will finish a film in one sitting.

Luckily, Mozilla’s app is here for those of us who want to watch things like Funimation, Crunchyroll or other services who don’t have an official app. With easy to scale windows and no registration fuss, the firefox app is perfect for VR browsing and a low-fuss stand-in streaming sans apps. I’ve watched everything from Twitch to Spriteclub to Crunchyroll in the Mozilla app with no trouble, and even found it deeply enjoyable, though I still might prefer my IRL television.

Ultimately, the Quest 2 feels like the first real “open door” that VR has ever had. More important than its pricetag is how simple it is to use. A short setup and you can just jump into an experience. Anyone from child to elder could acclimate to its simple to use UI. It leaves me hoping that it will catch, because although the experience feels a tad bare to me at the moment, I can see the potential for a vibrant and motivated community should enough people go through the door.

Outer Worlds (XBONE)

I didn’t mean for this to happen. When I booted up Outer Worlds, it was on my Samsung Galaxy Note. I was just testing the XCloud and wanted to see if a FPS could viably work on such a device. The answer was “barely”. But I was also intrigued by the remote download option- where I could direct my Xbone to wake up and download the game- all from my phone. I gave it a shot.

A week later I’m playing Outer Wilds, a game I don’t really like, yet holds my attention through sheer force of will- it’s too much like other games I loved- specifically, Fallout: New Vegas, so like it or not, I end up playing on and on.

I had remembered the devs crowing that Outer Worlds would let you kill anyone. Remembering and groaning at many of the game’s inconvenient side quests (hello, Parvati, and like, ALL of Monarch), I decided to put that claim to the test.

Why would I do this? Why play a game with the intent of killing every NPC? Isn’t that kind of dark? And...yeah. Kinda! I would like to say IRL, I’m not that kind of person. I’m deeply nonviolent. I believe in weapons control and demilitarization and I’m super conflict avoidant. But that’s the neat thing about games- you can be or do anything, explore any option, and it’s fine- it’s just a game. I still can’t get over how few people played the renegade storyline in Mass Effect. Like. Y’all. Seriously. Get out of your own heads and explore the dark side!

So from the minute my escape pod smacked down onto Terra 2, I carried out my senseless vengeance on anything and everything that crossed my path. What I learned was both surprising...and a bit annoying.

First off, you absolutely can kill everything you meet. I walked right into the Edgewater and cleaned that town out with nothing more than a pistol and some careful cover use. I then headed on over to the Botanical Labs and did the same exact thing. When all was said and done I headed to Groundbreaker and continued the rampage.

It was about at this point that the game starts to get really, really aggressive about you actually picking a side other than your own. First Phineas starts blowing up your DM’s. Then the Board. Then pretty much anyone else you encounter.

I didn’t stop to listen to most of them until I encountered the Board’s office on Groundbreaker. I had already laid waste to most of the Groundbreaker, but despite this, the guards from the Board’s embassy didn’t consider me an enemy, ‘cuz the board is their own faction with their own reputation system.

So instead of firing on them, I walked inside, a trail of dead Groundbreaker crewmen in my wake, and talked to the Board rep. Turns out the Board had watched me solve every problem I had with the barrel of a gun- and they approved of my methods.

For the first time in my playthrough, I was actually intrigued by the story. So I went with it, agreeing to run with the Board and play as the left hand of the Chairman. Maybe the evil story would be more intriguing that my first clear as the liberating hero.

Initially, it was. I went on an assassination mission on Byzantium and inadvertently bypassed a second mission, because, as the Chairman’s assistant so aptly put it- I “took care of the Emerald Vale problem prematurely”, meaning I had killed every mission relevant NPC up to this point.

But then the expected kicked in. The Board wanted me to go to Monarch, and surprise! -the mission the Board wanted me to do was the same damn thing as what Phineas would have had me do. I was tempted to start the shooting once again, but instead I just shrugged and went with it. I had played about 8 hours at this point, might as well see it through to the end. So my total kill intents petered out with me selling out to The Man. Go figure.

The surprise is that the game does acknowledge your efforts when you do go on a spree. After destroying all of Edgewater and the Botanical Gardens, the game gifts you a black skull and a short message congratulating you for chucking its story in favor of slaughtering everyone.

The NPCs who do get a word in edge-wise continually note previous locations and characters you take out. One of the most humorous moments is when ADA, the ship’s computer, tells you she is activating “EMERGENCY CONTINGENCY: THE CAPTAIN IS A PSYCHOPATH”.

The other surprise I had was at how little I missed...anything about the story. I recall very little about the initial side quests offered in my first run. I also felt very little in the way of remorse as I blasted away my rejected companions. A million years, we all fawned over Parvati and Max and Felix, among others. But...did they ultimately stand the test of time? I’m not so sure. All I really remember of them now is how they basically just made me do a billion fetch quests. And lord did opting out of those make me feel good.

And that was my main take away from my attempt at a total kill run- much of Outer Worlds felt deeply unnecessary- so much so that intentionally thwarting the game’s story and design felt deeply satisfying in a way I’m not sure the creators intended.

And that’s it!

If you haven’t already, please get out and vote.

And when you finish voting, go do something kind for someone you care about. Buy ‘em a pizza or write them a nice message or gift them a cheap game or offer to go on a walk with them. You can do anything, but at least do something. We are gonna need each other if we’re gonna get through this thing.

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peggydugginsmuso-blog · 5 years

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10 Most Anticipated Hip-Hop Albums of 2019

While all types of music share the beautiful ability to bridge the gaps between people, let's not fool ourselves and act like the music industry works the same across the board.

For instance, while most of the bands and pop stars who made waves in 2018 will now venture out on exhaustive tours, go on hiatus, or do anything for two or three years except consider putting out another album, many of the same names in hip-hop and R&B who commanded headlines, turned heads, and dropped dope records, collabs, and singles last year will be back in 2019. And as long as everyone is on their meds (seriously, take care of yourselves), we're 100% down with that.

In 2019, greats will get a chance to re-establish their greatness, underground talents will attempt to conquer the mainstream, and unique artists will continue to push hip-hop in new and thrilling places. Call it a repeat. Call it a rerun if you want, but it's the best show on in 2019, and we ain't flippin' the channel.

–Matt Melis Editorial Director

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Cardi B – TBD

Cardi B in “Money” music video

Why We're Excited: If Kendrick Lamar quietly proved in 2018 that he's still the king, Cardi B struck a royal balance by ascending to her queenly throne with as much pomp and fanfare as possible. Cardi took over Coachella, stole the show on SNL with her classy baby bump reveal, sent an album's worth of singles straight up the charts, and finally answered Austin Powers' longstanding question: “Really, who throws a shoe?” Let's face it: since “Bodak Yellow” hit the charts in mid-2017, Cardi B has run the rap game like cardio. Now, fresh off the presses (or day-old at worst), Cardi B has announced that her Invasion of Privacy follow-up will creep into fans' hands in 2019. While most new mothers and reigning hip-hop royalty might consider stepping out of the spotlight for a time, Cardi has proven she's got the swagger, flow, and “okuuuuuurts” to not wear out her welcome anytime soon. –Matt Melis

Sample:

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Childish Gambino – TBD

Childish Gambino, photo by Ben Kaye

Why We're Excited: Now that he's no longer making the Kessel Run alongside Han Solo, or nursing a broken foot, Donald Glover should have little to no distractions when it comes to music for 2019. Of course, we say that as if he didn't deliver one of the best songs last year in “This is America”, even while juggling the aforementioned projects, so can you imagine what he'll do with even more time? Something substantial, no doubt, and the stars are beginning to align. Already, Glover's booked to headline Coachella, which has become the de facto billboard to promote a new album, and he even has appropriate material for the time of year with “Feels Like Summer” and “Summertime Magic”. Couple all of this with his forthcoming appearance in Jon Favreau's The Lion King and we're looking at a Summer of Gambino. Hopefully, it's not his last. –Michael Roffman

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EarthGang – Mirrorland

EarthGang

Why We're Excited: “Don't believe the hype” might be one of hip-hop's Ten Commandments, but sometimes we just can't help ourselves. Everything about EARTHGANG - the oddball hip-hop duo from Atlanta featuring Johnny Venus and Doctur Dot - suggests that they've got plenty to back up any buzz they're getting. Hell, it's why we made them our Artist of the Month last February. In 2018, not only did the pair brilliantly cap off their Rags, Robots, and Royalty EP trilogy, but they also dropped the first single from the upcoming Mirrorland, a freaky slow jam called “Stuck” that teases how these wonderful weirdos might just manage to squeeze into our solar system in 2019. –Matt Melis

Sample:

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Run the Jewels – RTJ4

Run the Jewels, photo by Philip Cosores

Why We're Excited: One of the only positives of last year's Venom - other than seeing Tom Hardy trump a garbage movie - was hearing new music by Run the Jewels. After all, it's been two years since the surprise Christmas release of RTJ3, and so much has changed in the interim, which makes their forthcoming sequel all the more exciting. “I've been collecting beats and we're just going to kind of try and make the grimiest, rawest record we possibly can,” El-P told Beats 1 in October. Though, as Killer Mike countered, “We always really were just about making nasty rap records, man,” contending, “We never were the type of people who were looking to make records that were addressing specific political situations. If it happens, it happens, and it does on occasion, but we're not Public Enemy. What we're trying to do is be two guys in a friendship from different places having the time of their lives and making something that everybody can make the scrunchy face to when they hear.” Hey, that works, too. –Michael Roffman

Sample:

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ScHoolboy Q – TBD

Schoolboy Q // Photo by Philip Cosores

Why We're Excited: Everyone needs time to grieve, even Schoolboy Q. If you recall, the Compton rapper had intended to release the follow-up to 2016's Blank Face LP by the end of 2018. However, those plans changed when he announced to his fans at Chicago's House of Vans back in September that he would delay the album following the tragic death of his friend and collaborator, Mac Miller. “I'ma go back, and I'ma figure out when I'ma put this fucking album out, because y'all are going to get this album,” he insisted. “I promise that. I'm just not ready to walk into the radio station and the first thing they ask me is 'So Mac Miller…' I'm not ready to deal with those questions. I'm not ready to put nothing out right now. I'm sorry.” Considering the album was reportedly “90%-95%” completed back in August, it really comes down to when he's ready to let it go. –Michael Roffman

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SABA, Noname, and Smino – TBD

SABA, Noname, and Smino, photo by SABA

Why We're Excited: The only intelligent response is, why wouldn't we be excited? For our money, Chicago emcees SABA and Noname dropped two of the best hip-hop albums of 2018, Care for Me and Room 25, respectively, and Smino wasn't far behind them with eclectic singles “L.M.F.” and “KLINK” off his accomplished second full-length. Now, mix SABA's storytelling with Noname's jazzy flow and Smino's wildcard flavor, and you have a trio that have the chance to change what the future of hip-hop sounds like. If that doesn't excite you, nothing will. –Matt Melis

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Solange – TBD

Solange, photo by Philip Cosores

Why We're Excited: Sibling rivalries don't make much sense as you get older, especially when you count Queen Bey herself as Big Sis. But if there is one kid sister out there who could hold her own in the type of world where music critics just can't help comparing siblings, it would be Solange. Her 2016 album, A Seat at the Table, earned her just that, especially the utterly gorgeous and relatable single “Cranes in the Sky”. Solange made her believers wait eight years for that full-length. And, quite frankly, after a record as unique and promising as A Seat at the Table, we couldn't wait that long again. Luckily, we don't have to. –Matt Melis

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SZA – TBD

SZA, photo by Natalie Somekh

Why We're Excited: By the time Spring hits, SZA may have both a Golden Globe and an Oscar sitting on her shelf, that is if either the Hollywood Foreign Press or the Academy deem “All the Stars” worthy for Best Original Song. (They have competition.) Still, that shouldn't stop her from maintaining her day job afloat, and while there's been no official announcement, the singer has been teasing her highly anticipated followup to 2017's CTRL. In September, she responded to one disbelieving fan by tweeting, “…A's already done,” casually confirming a possible title. In October, she spoke at length to New York's 105.1's Powerhouse, saying: “I want it to be 100 percent honest to whoever I am in this moment because that is the only way it will work. But I just personally think now it's just about getting to the root of who I am. But faster, clearer, more concisely. Like just learning the understanding of self.” And, just last month, she teased clips in a since-deleted Instagram post. Simply put, something's coming. –Michael Roffman

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The Weeknd – Chapter 6

The Weeknd, photo by Natalie Somekh

Why We're Excited: Last year was a slow season for Abel Tesfaye, aka The Weeknd. After popping up on Black Panther: The Album in February and dropping his My Dear Melancholy EP in March - both of which warranted him two Platinum-certified, Billboard-charting singles in “Pray for Me” with Kendrick Lamar; and “Call Out My Name” - the award-winning crooner kept things relatively low key with minimal buzz. In November, however, Tesfaye told his fans at a Toronto gig, “I haven't been this inspired in years and I want you guys to be the first to know I'm working on my new album right now.” So far, we know very little with regards to features and its sound, but we do know that it's titled Chapter 6 and that it won't be another EP. As he later teased on Twitter, “some chapters are smaller than others. not this next one though…” Ooh, cryptic! –Michael Roffman

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Kanye West – Yandhi

Kanye West, photo by Joshua Mellin

Why We're Excited: It's hard to believe that in a year when Kanye West produced five albums - two of which he starred on and all but one he appeared on - in just under a month that our focus would be on everything but his music. But Kanye tweeting at odd hours and wandering, sadly and quite literally, in front of television cameras speaking incoherently like a person off his meds stole the show. He's since done some public relations tidying up, and we can only hope that the artist capable of helming an album like DAYTONA and delivering a song like “Ghost Town” will leave the little, red hat and superhero cape at home and go back to being an undeniable “genius” in the recording studio. –Matt Melis

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angrybrowngirlabroad-blog · 7 years

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Of Privilege and Punching Nazis

The title of this blog is “Angry Brown Girl Abroad” and it exists for two reasons. One is to record my adventures of my travels through Central America and my trials and tribulations as I struggle to learn Spanish and connect to my roots. The other reason is the “angry brown girl” side, a place to vent my opinions on my place in the world as an ambiguously brown, female in gender (most of the time) person from the United States. I’ve mostly used this blog for the former, and I tend to take to Facebook more often to voice my opinions on the latter, because, quite frankly, I think they are more likely to be seen and shared there. However, I feel like it’s time to explore my angry brown side a bit more in this space.

I actually haven’t posted anything on this blog in a few months. Part of this was because I was in a rush, and went back to the states for the holidays, which ended up being a very emotionally tumultuous time for me. When my feelings are in overdrive, I still turn to writing for comfort, but I rarely publish those deep feelings for anyone else to read. The holidays were hard for a variety of reasons, but the even harder part was coming back to the country I am currently staying in (Guatemala) and watching both the inauguration and coverage of the Women’s March on Washington from thousands of miles away, and the ensuing aftermath of both events. Watching your country implode from a distance is a strange feeling, you care, you want to be there, you can’t look away, you feel glad that you got out, you feel guilty that you got out, you struggle to enjoy your time here while you wonder if you can do more for the people still there. I’m working on finding the balance, but I’m spending a great deal of time on the internet these days, reading about each new horrible thing our incompetent commander in chief has cooked up that threatens the lives of POCs, LGBTQ people and disabled citizens. I am both constantly surprised by the lengths this administration is willing to go to, and also the response from people to it, especially within my own community. I am frustrated with them more specifically, as I find out where each person falls on certain lines in the sand. One of the ones that keeps coming up, weeks after I feel it should have been settled, is punching a Nazi (and, more recently, the violent opposition of Milo Y-I’mnotevengonnatryhesanasshole speaking at UC Berkley). I AM REALLY TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO ARE THE LAST IN LINE TO BE HURT BY BOTH NAZIS AND MILO YGAYNAZI TELLING PEOPLE IN THE LINE OF FIRE HOW THEY SHOULD REACT TO SUCH ABUSE.

Yep, I said it, I mean it. It is not at all a surprise to me that every person I have argued with personally about whether violence is justifiable against people who PROMOTE VIOLENCE has been a cis-hetero-white dude. I’m just mad that there are so many, and so many that I know personally, and that they have the audacity to call me, and the people like me to who disagree with me, names because we won’t agree with them that “violence is never the answer.” Violence should not be our first answer. Violence should not be applied willy-nilly to anyone who disagrees with us. Violence is, 99% of the time, the last choice from a marginalized group. You know why? Because it’s dangerous, because people don’t want to do it, and because the people most likely to suffer the worst legal ramnifications for using violence against their oppressors are minorities. Black men get shot by cops for doing literally nothing, you think they are going to actively choose to fight the police as their first move? Nah. Which brings me to another point: so many of these dudes who I’ve seen argue really hard against punching actual, confirmed Nazis, have been oddly silent on cases where POCs are killed, without justification, by police. They’ll go on and on about how minorities should not use violence to defend themselves, but say nothing for the victims of state-sponsored police violence. They get into a frothy fervor about hypothetical punching, but when was the last time they even acknowledged the tragic ends of Tamir Rice or Trayvon Martin? (Both are children and the last was killed by another citizen). Where is there outrage for the actual deaths of people, who espoused no genocidal beliefs, and were killed for the simple sake of being not-white? Is it because the punching of white dudes might actually affect them whereas police shooting them is pretty much a non-issue? I take note of who goes hard for what issues, I see you, and trust me, I’ve made note. But lets just say that said dude is not in this just for himself and his own preservation. Still, defending Nazis and the pasty scum that is Milo Yareyousoawful does not paint you in a good light. Its not like these are white dudes who said something questionable on the internet. Richard Spencer, the aforementioned Nazi who was punched mid-interview at Trump’s inauguration, is a confirmed Alt-Right (CALL THEM FUCKING NAZIS) leader who just launched a new website dedicated to the Alt-Right movement. His previous website featured the essay “Is Black Genocide Right?” and features the line: “we should instead be asking questions like, ‘Does human civilization actually need the Black race?’ ‘Is Black genocide right?’”* So, pretty clearly a Nazi. As for Milo Ywontyoujustgoaway, he is a Breitbart senior editor known for slinging hate who was supposed to speak at UC Berkeley but his engagement was cancelled after violent protests on campus. Milo Yifeelsorryforyourmom has built his empire on hate, he gained notoriety last year by leading the charge on Twitter that led to Leslie Jones (one of the stars of the new Ghostbusters) being harassed with a slew of racist, sexist, violent messages and tweets. This earned him a ban from Twitter, but didn’t stop his book deal.* In his speech at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee he outed a trans student named Adelaide Kramer, projecting a photo of her earlier in her transition for all of her classmates to see and calling on the audience to laugh at her as he degraded an misgendered her.* There are reports that, in his UC Berkeley address, that Milo Yohgawdshutup was planning to target students who did not have documentation to live in the United States. Milo Yuccccckkkkkkkkkk claimed that it wasn’t true, but that instead he intended to talk about cultural appropriation while wearing a Native American headdress, so either way the man is filth.* It’s not like these men are people who posted a questionable Facebook status, they have a documented history of advocating hate and abuse against people not like them. And we get told we cannot fight these men with fists because it would be “sinking to their level.” We can’t, though, not with a single punch. Hitting someone who advocates for the murder of an entire group based on the color of their skin is not comparable to, I don’t know, advocating the murder of an entire group based on the color of their skin. Unless you immediately start putting together armed groups and planning the next white genocide after you throw that punch, there is no sinking. Making someone reconsider their choice to espouse violent rhetoric in a public arena is a good thing, a thing that one wishes we could accomplish with protests, but clearly those protests are doing little to slow down the new Nazis in this country. Also, claiming that we’ll lose support of fence sitters and drive them to the genocidal far right because we’re advocating for Nazi punching is ridiculous. Anyone who is on the fence about support genocide or genocidal rhetoric is not someone whose going to change their mind if we are lenient on those who would see them hang. If you’re on the fence about genocide, well your fence is already pretty far past the line of decency anyways. Which brings me to my last point, the invocation that I have heard over and over again that we should try and talk things out with Nazis. That our words will be more effective than our fists. And to this I say, “Maybe yours, Mr. Hetero White Dude who keeps espousing this belief” because believe me, they are not going to listen to an ambiguously brown woman, with an ambiguous sexuality, talk to them about hating less. Those of us who are targets of Nazi hate should not be required to speak calmly to our oppressors about it, especially since some of the oppressors feel like we should be shot on sight. And telling us we should is ignoring and invalidating the very real and justifiable fears that we feel. Stop doing that, it’s a form of gaslighting.

The fact is, if Nazis are going to listen to ANYONE at all, it’s going to be another white dude. Which means these dudes defending the not-punching of Nazis, should put their money where their mouth is and go talk to Nazis. I want each and every one of you, before you come onto a status of a POC, LGBTQ or disabled person and tell them how violence is not the answer, to go to an alt-right forum, a Facebook page, hell, even in person, and engage in a peaceful discussion. I want receipts proving that you are willing to do the very thing you are preaching that the rest of us to do. I want to know your success rate for converting Nazis before you open your mouth about our methods. Since you care so much, go and do the work you wish to be done in the world. Maybe the two-pronged approach, discussion and violent opposition will be even more effective.

I’ll be over here, practicing my elbow strikes. PS: The First Amendment only protects your freedom of speech from the government shutting you down, it does not protect you from the people who you are calling for the murder of en masse from beating your ass down, so I’m gonna need all you crying out about that to get off that tired horse. Words have consequences.

* http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/01/17/richard_spencer_launches_the_alt_right_s_newest_website.html * http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/12/milo-yiannopoulos-leslie-jones-book-deal * https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/trans-student-harassed-by-milo-yiannopoulos-speaks-out

* http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/uc-berkely-protests-milo-yiannopoulos-publicly-name-undocumented-students-cancelled-talk-illegals-a7561321.html

#nazis punchingnazis richardspencer miloy violence antifa

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