#fuck agamemnon too while we're at it

[my-burnt-city]

there is only one king i plan to pledge my allegiance to next saturday

fuck the monarchy, fuck weirdo bootlicking, all hail the tbc double-show day ✌🏻😘

#the burnt city #burnt city #punchdrunk #punchdrunk theatre #immersive theatre #immersive #hades #sam booth #daddy sam #the only king that matters #fuck agamemnon too while we're at it #(but affectionately)

[dootznbootz]

Do we have any idea how old Odysseus was when the trojan war started? Like I'm actually curious, Ive always imagined him to be sth around 20 but then I tried to find it online and the the range goes from 20 to mid 40s so like im so confused, do you know anythig??

My dear Anon, the timeline is a mess and I wouldn't bother trying to find the "real ages" as...it's just straight-up impossible. :'D I literally made a meme about it a LONG while back.

For example, The Apple of Discord happened during Thetis' and Peleus' wedding. They decided Paris would chose, he chose Aphrodite, so he got to kidnap Helen.

The War starts....How tf is Achilles old enough to go to war if his parents just got married? I have never seen anything that said they waited until Paris grew up.

Thing is, so many people throughout history have their own versions and if we were to try and make sense of all of them, these heroes would probably be around 200 years old.

If you're worried about this stuff for writing? MAKE IT UP!!! :D There's technically no "real age"

One of my favorite examples:

Left to right: Menelaus, Paris, Diomedes, Odysseus, Nestor, Achilles, Agamemnon.

...WHY DOES MENELAUS AND DIOMEDES HAVE MORE WRINKLES THAN FUCKING NESTOR?!?!

Old man Nestor. Achy breaky back Nestor. "Back in my day" Nestor. Grandpa fucking Nestor!!!

(Paris, Odysseus, Achilles, and Agamemnon look pretty good imo but the others don't feel like their faces match their ages.)

It's because of the fact that there's not a distinct specific age, and therefore artists and muses could make it whatever!

BUT! Considering some things, Penelope, Helen, Menelaus, and Odysseus were all most likely around 20 when they got married.

I'm no expert. I am absolutely not. But from what I've read, Women in Sparta got married when they were around 20 years old. Part of the reason why exercise for women was a thing was because of the idea of "strong mothers have strong sons". Fully grown women are less likely to have health problems if they get pregnant compared to "girl who just got her first menstrual cycle". I don't know if this was the case during the Mycenaean/Minoan eras but it's what we're given.

Men were around the same age BUT with military stuff, they'd be in the barracks most of the time and had to "sneak away" in order to be with their wife for the night.

In many other places, men got married when they're around 30. But with all this happening in SPARTA, I think Tyndarius would probably hope to "keep to his own Spartan rules". I think a lot of young men saw this as an opportunity or even a "Mom, Dad, This is the chance of a lifetime!!! Even if I am technically too young to get married, this is the chance to marry the most beautiful woman in the world!"

The Iliad mentions Odysseus being older than Menelaus however!!! (personally, I have Odysseus older by a few months and him pulling the "I'm the older of the two of us!")

Hermione is said to be 9 years old when Helen is kidnapped. Most likely, making them around 29, give or take. (Personally I changed Hermione's age to 7, making them more around 27) Odysseus at around 28 and Penelope at around 27 about to turn 28 shortly when he has to leave.

#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #I'm in no way an expert!!! but it's actually quite neat that Odypen and Menelaus and Helen are actually couples who most likely are #very close in age! :D #ask #anon

[caffernnn]

Omg how about this...makoharu but Patrochilles AU! from illiad (tho I'm gonna use the tsoa (the song of achilles) ver for this) with makoto as patroclus and haru as Achilles (i know the physical features don't match patroclus has dark hair and Achilles has blond hair and green eyes and looks closer prob to makoto but achilles is also kinda feminine looking??? As he was able to hide for a long time disguised as a girl)

Not to mention achilles was the son of a sea nymph (wow the water relationship yippee and lived by the sea)

Like in the tsoa book patroclus is described as this shy young boy (i mean he was exiled by his own father but that wouldn't happen to our bby mako in canon would it) then he was sent to achilles' kingdom and was all lonely and Achilles was this boy who everyone flocked to but then went to point patroclus and said "him...i choose him" imagine the playground scene from tm

Fast forward to a few years later with a bff relationship too close to have a heterosexual explanation and achilles is hailed as this prodigy (see the parallel?!?!) And patroclus known as his closest companion and they were swimming together in instances in the book

fast forward again to the war where after every raid achilles comes home and patroclus welcomes him (fuck the "okaeri" "tadaima" is strong in this one) patroclus considering himself a weak warrior becomes a healer and manages to befriend the entire army (if this isn't makoto) and achilles goes "how do you know their names?" "They're my friends" "ugh so many" also patroclus is known as the Achilles-tamer like "achilles is throwing a tantrum quick find patroclus" (very similar to "haru-chan is stripping quick mako-chan!) Rin as odysseus the sassy friend who's like "ugh i know you're gay for each other quit with the pda" and sousuke as agamemnon the asshole Achilles refuses to acknowledge (come on we know the beef between haru and sou) and kisumi as briseis who at one point in the book admitted to like patroclus and achilles got jealous over that (haru def got jealous over kisumi during that steal yo mako flashback in s2)

Gosh hiyori as hector who refuses to return helen which would def be ikuya (guys see the parallelism!!!) And let's not acknowledge the lack of paris, or maybe asahi as paris idk then agamemnon does the dick move of taking briseis from achilles due to some spat (honestly rin and kisumi could switch and let the makorinharu shippers go wild since pat, bri, and achilles hung out like a 3some anyway but more makorin instead of rinharu (in other versions the rinharu could be stronger tho since briseis was Achilles' war prize anyway but that's not the point since we're following tsoa)) and here comes the beef between sousuke and haru making its way into the AU

Achilles goes to sulk and refuses to fight hector (tho it was haru who challenged hiyori to a race in canon) odysseus went to patroclus and went "he only listens to you talk the shit out of him" (this would only work if rin was odysseus)

patroclus wanted to fight for him instead (agghh the showdown between makoto and hiyori) and well...patroclus lost and died (is it a coincidence makoto lost that race too?)

Here comes the mcd angst and achilles mourns (imagine if makoto didn't wake up from his drowning and the look of despair on haru escalated gosh imagine the grieving) the gods at the bottom of the sea heard him and he goes apeshit on hector and killed him (he did win against hiyori after all) and fought until he died bc life without pat is meaningless so similar to "it's meaningless without you" (he was really eager to follow him into the afterlife)

That's about it since the later parts arr hard to fill in (no obe would be able to fill up phyrrhus' role that demon child) and it's difficult to find roles for rei and nagisa (maybe nagisa as achilles' charioteer automedon) and maybe sasabe as chiron the centaur their teacher/no. 1 shipper and amakata as phoinix achilles' mentor but anyway all is well and that's all there is thank you for your time reading this

PS: I've been thinking about this AU for makoharu since i read the iwaoi ver of this named achilles wept but I'm not a great writer so i can only indulge myself in hcs

PPS: I'm the anon who who sent the herc and meg ask haha

Oh dang you WENT OFF, modern myth AU anon 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so many great parallels!! I haven’t gotten around to reading TSOA yet but the few things I know about it and some of the quotes I’ve seen… WHEW. One thing I love seeing people explore in different AUs with makoharu is how their love for each other can be so intense that it often borders on impending tragedy. Their devotion to each other is beautiful until something happens that makes it mix with their lack of self-preservation to cause a huge explosion, whether that means self-sacrifice (usually Makoto) or confused, grief-stricken rampages (usually Haru). It’s this complicated but ever-present piece of their dynamic that screams “I know you would die for me, but just this once, could you live for me instead?”

Also while we’re talking about Achilles, may I suggest a makoharu take on Achilles Come Down because that song is always a bop

#bless you for this anon #loving the parallels here #don’t have much to contribute but still love to hear it #makoharu #free! au #thanks for sending! #anonymous #tsoa spoilers #long post