#get told by those stuck with the indignence of our existence how annoying our bodylanguage fundamentally is.

[alighted-willow]

It's interesting how cultural norms, even subcultural norms, can effect how even the most benign and simultaneously fundamental aspects of the self.

Case and point: a classmate of mine back in an art course two years ago conversed with me briefly while naturalistically observing me (as in, you know, existing in the same area as myself for a short time) and asked me before the end of class if I was Italian (I am).

Everyone else asks me when I'll go to counseling or start taking meds to ‘fix’ my fidgeting.

Now, to make an obvious point, those things can be very helpful! I'm actually starting Adderal tomorrow morning to help with my unspecified sleep disorder, memory issues, and proprioception! But it's such an insult to be told or have it implied to you, constantly, that the way I express myself is a problem because it is “counter to societal norms”.

If they were intrusive or disruptive I would get it, but we're talking about drawing while watching movies with the family or cooking while entertaining guests (the food being for the guests)— I'm talking about swaying when standing, talking with one's hands, or pacing a room when laughing. I love these things! People are always saying that we need to move more and that living a too sedimentary life style is damaging, but then they see someone who does that and suddenly the problem is ‘moving too much’???

Unnervingly often of late, folks have been pointing it out to me. Oh no, I sat forward in my chair again. Oh no, I stopped sitting cross legged because it started hurting my hips. Oh no, I made a "clack" noise instead of saying “eyup”. Whatever will your fragile, insecure self doooooo?

I'm talking about this mostly because I've brought up that I'm seeking treatment for my memory issues (ADHD), proprioception (ASD) and sleep troubles (hiiigh, Long-Covid) to a few friends, family, and medical professionals— and the responses have been staggeringly consistent. My online friends have been absolutely lovely in their support and actively helpful, giving me advice where I needed it and helping me maintain my spirits as time dragged on. In person folks… did not.

The first friend I talked to, while meaning well, could only respond with how much less I'll squirm once I get the proper medication. I love her, but I really wish she phrased things differently. My bio-Mom (long story) has been pretty firm in being against me getting treatment (but I'm an adult so she can go pound sand) and has routinely pointed out little quirks or oddities in my movements (such as the sitting forward thing). The nurse practitioner I saw tried to convince me that my issues were all stemming from anxiety and that all I needed was counseling to help me conceal my hyperactivity and so that I could “learn to live” with all of the issues I had gone to her for. My doctor, thank the stars, vetoed her when I wasn’t around and so I received a call a few hours later telling me to go to the pharmacy in a day or two.

Is there a point? Did I have a reason for writing this all out other than to vent out my frustrations? Not really. I've been waiting for my lentils to boil and then cool so this was just me waiting out the clock. The closest thing to a moral is this: if someone reading this has a problem with one of their friends jittering their leg, ask yourself why.

Why are you so offended by someone standing when your sitting? Why do you find it annoying when someone's drawing instead of watching? Why are you so incensed and offended when someone does something as innocuous and benign as walk from one end of the room to the other and back? Ask yourself that and go fix your problem so that you stop nitpicking and brow beating the people around you.

#venty #venty post #venting #ADHD #hyperactivity #hyperactive #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #ADHD-C #I am so sick of hyperactivity being medicalized #And so done with people infantilizing hyperactive people #We cannot #I repeat- CANNOT #talk about the ACTUAL PROBLEMS with hyperactivity #because every time we- the people who actually have it #who have it as part of our hardware- #get told by those stuck with the indignence of our existence how annoying our bodylanguage fundamentally is. #This. Is not. About *you*. #Your minor inconvenience need not be shoved into our faces every time we breathe.