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Violet Evergarden: Booklet 10

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And so, they would love the passage of their time for all eternity.

Gilbert Bougainvillea and the Transient Dream

The boy woke up alone in a room filled with the sound of rain.

It was raining gently outside. The boy with hair the color of dusk and emerald-green eyes looked out the window, seeming a little happy.

Today was a rainy day. Meaning there would be no sword training or running laps outside. They would probably have class inside the house. The boy was curious about the continuation of a children’s book that he had not been able to read due to the training.

——Yay.

He was forbidden from reading books before going to sleep and they would be confiscated if his grades at homeschooling went down. Of course, he was also not allowed to have continuous defeats at sword training either.

Raised in a harsh household, the boy had whip marks on his hands. He had been hit the previous day and they were throbbing the whole time until now. His older brother had run away from the training and the boy was hit due to not looking for him. Upon hearing about this, his brother had flared up at their father for hitting him, yet he was punched and that was the end of it.

At this very moment, in another room, his brother was surely also pleased to welcome this morning.

“Gilbert.”

There was a knock on the door, the boy poking his head out of the room still in his sleepwear.

“Hehe, we got a day off.” With a swollen cheek and a bruise on his eye, his brother smiled brightly at him. When the boy asked if his wound was all right, he replied with an “it’s nothing”. When he held Gilbert’s hands, he rubbed them as if to warm them up. “I’m sorry for running away.”

“Hm-hm.” Gilbert shook his head.

“But I think I’ll do it again.”

“Why, Brother?” Gilbert asked.

“‘Cause it pisses me off. Not just Old Man but everything else.”

Gilbert lowered his shoulders. He could somewhat understand what his brother was saying. His brother despised the fate and obligations imposed on them.

“You too, don’t be their slave. Hey, can I sleep in your room? They took my mattress away as punishment. It’s so cold that I can’t handle it, and also, about the novel you were reading, can I read it first?”

“Yep, sure, Brother,” Gilbert answered.

——One day, when I grow up, I wanna try doing things I like, Gilbert thought.

The man woke up in a room filled with the sound of rain.

It was a listless awakening. The humidity was probably high. When he attempted to sit up, he took notice of a weight on his body.

There was a beautiful woman in his arms.

With golden hair, golden eyelashes and porcelain skin, said woman was fast asleep. She had long and fine-looking limbs, as well as a slender body. She was almost a doll.

At first, Gilbert was startled at the fact someone was sleeping with him.

——Violet.

And then, he was startled at the fact that this was his beloved.

He observed her attentively. She slept so quietly that he became worried as to whether she was breathing or not. He was able to confirm the sound of her breathing by bringing his ear close to her, stroking his chest in relief. Violet was almost like a manufactured doll when sleeping.

——Her skin is so pretty.

She was too young for someone like him, who had recently found a white hair on his head. The lovers were far apart in age, but be that as it may, Violet still looked child-like.

——She already had a mature face even when she was a child.

When people like her grew up, some of them would end up looking childish instead. Perhaps he should say that her age had caught up to her facial features, and then surpassed them.

Wanting to give her some sort of display of affection, Gilbert took a strand of her golden hair and planted a kiss on it, doing his best not to wake her. A shy smile naturally formed on his lips.

“Major,” Violet called, her eyes still shut. This title was no longer fitting of him, but it was the first word she spoke, as well as Gilbert’s former rank. Therefore, Gilbert allowed her to call him such without correcting her.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, I was already slightly awake...” She rubbed her eyes like a cat and then opened them to look at him.

Each one of her actions were fascinating to him.

“Major, you are here,” perhaps due to having just awoken, Violet uttered a strange sentence.

“I am, of course.”

“That surprised me.”

“I get you. So was I... It’s still just our first day living together. It’s natural for both of us to be surprised.” Giggling lightly, Gilbert gently pulled Violet, who was already in his arms, into an embrace. Their noses connected and they coiled around each other like animals would do.

“To me, Major, you are at times so passionate that I feel as if I will stop functioning.”

“Why are you talking in pauses, Violet?”

“Most likely, it is out of embarrassment.”

“I see, so you’re nervous. Let me see that.”

“No, I cannot.”

“Let me.”

“I cannot.”

As Violet twisted her body and attempted to hide her face with her pale hands, Gilbert laughed, coiling himself around her again. As if to object, with her face slightly flushed red, Violet grabbed a pillow and placed it between his face and her own.

“What’s this?”

“It is a barrier.”

“I can’t give you a good morning kiss like this.”

“It is a barrier.”

“Violet, have you come to hate me?”

“That is not the case.”

“Then what’s this barrier for?”

“My face looks strange right now.” Violet’s face peeked out of the pillow barrier just a little. “It would be a problem if I show it to you and you find it weird, and end up disliking me for it.”

Gilbert threw the pillow away and stole Violet’s lips, no more questions asked. While it rained, it took some time for the lovers to get out of bed, and as this battle went on, it was close to noon before they realized.

At noon, Gilbert fixed them a meal and the two ate together. As the rain did not cease by any means and since both of them had earned a vacation for now, they spent their time sitting on the couch and reading books.

They spent their time doing things they liked.

From a carriage, the boy was observing the view out the window.

He had never attempted to act freely for a single day. For Gilbert, who had the blood of the Bougainvillea – a family renowned for producing a great number of excellent army soldiers –, everything was already decided. The kind of shoes he wore, the fabric of his jacket, what time he had to wake up in the morning, what sort of martial arts he was going to learn, whom he should not be friends with – all of it was predetermined. The fact that he was going to attend a military academy in spring had also been predetermined since his birth.

He had arranged a carriage to go see his room at the dormitory, yet his only accompanier was a butler, as his parents had not come along. To begin with, his father had to work and his mother was taking care of his newly born younger sister.

His brother had already fled from home and his whereabouts were unknown. He had sent a letter to Gilbert alone, informing that he had enrolled into the navy’s military academy, but had been out of contact ever since. He had said that he would come back to celebrate Gilbert’s enrollment, but there was no telling if this was true.

The scenery moved steadily outside the vehicle’s window. He saw a few young men about as old as himself walking cheerfully in a group. Those were average people. Instead of going to the military academy, they were bound to take over a merchant household or land themselves some kind of ordinary job. They were merely on a stroll, yet seemed to be having so much fun.

Gilbert, who was doing nothing but ride on a carriage, found no enjoyment in anything.

When the cab asked Gilbert if he wanted to stop by anywhere, nothing came to his mind. He was especially good at geography, thus he was well-acquainted with location names. But he was unable to say any of them aloud.

He knew that he could not run away.

If, for instance, he were to complain here about the conflicts and suffering unfolding in his heart, he would be labeled a weakling and cut off from his family, and his responsibilities as family head would be pushed onto the future bridegrooms of his younger sisters, who were still small. In that case, if his sisters ever fell in love with someone, they would not be able to act upon their feelings, and instead would have to marry someone that they did not love.

The best option was for Gilbert to put up with it. This was the best way for the world to spin. After all, Gilbert did not value himself much, either. He believed that if someone was supposed to die away, it should be himself.

He spotted an elderly couple taking a walk amongst the trees, and feeling jealous of them for whatever reason, he shed tears.

From a carriage, the man was observing the view out the window.

Today was a free day. The greenery outside was beautiful. When he looked to his side, he found someone even more beautiful right next to him. That was his lover.

As the carriage stopped by an extensive forest, the two walked out holding a bulky picnic basket.

They were not able to come here the other day due to rain, but choosing to come today might have been for the best. They had heard from a neighbor that there would be balloons on sight today.

“I have flown on fighter aircraft before, but not on a balloon. Major, what about you?”

Violet and Gilbert had laid a large blanket over the grass, the two of them lying on it and looking up at the sky. They had already finished the homemade sandwiches and tea that were once in the picnic basket. Both were light eaters, but had the feeling that they were able to eat much more than usual. Was it because they were spending a carefree time with each other outdoors?

“Never. I like how fast fighters are, but they’re not fit for appreciating the scenery. That person over there seems to be having fun. How about we ride on one together someday?”

A small red balloon was visible in the far-off sky.

“I worry about the lack of security.”

“Indeed. They haven’t thought about making it bulletproof.”

With a natural disposition for the military, the couple started having a bizarre conversation. They were having a slightly hard time believing that people could ride on such things. As he shared his opinion that they would die immediately if they were shot while on it, Violet replied with an “I was thinking the same thing”.

“It doesn’t seem like we could enjoy it if we’re going to be concerned about snipers. Should we go for horseback riding, then?”

“It is easy to flee on a horse. We can also eat them as a last resort. Sound decision.”

Silence.

“When we had to eat one of our military horses, Major, you seemed sad. My apologies. That was rude of me to say.”

“No, that’s the kind of times it was back then. We had no choice.”

“Yes, that kind of times.”

Because it was that kind of times, many things had been forgiven. Their relationship, for example.

“Violet.” Gilbert attempted to ask for forgiveness, but stopped halfway. “Well... aren’t you cold?”

After all, this was already a time from after he had been forgiven.

The young man was watching as water drops trickled down the petals of a rose.

He had been doing this for about a few minutes. The vase on top of the table was not going to say anything to him.

His companion, a fiancée chosen for him by his parents – and on top of that, who had been passed down to him from his older brother due to inheritance matters –, looked bored. It was clear that they were not seeing each other because they wanted to. Rather than using his precious day off from the military academy to meet her at a café, spending time with his first-ever best friend, whom he had met in the military academy, in the latter’s room at the dormitory would be several times more fun.

——I wonder what Hodgins is doing.

He did not quite like the card games and nighttime hangouts that Hodgins had told him about, but Gilbert enjoyed being in his presence and having meals with him. His relationship with Hodgins was sometimes ostracized by the instructors, but he had no intention to cut ties.

——Well, he has friends other than me, so he’ll be fine even if I’m not there.

“Something interesting” had popped up in Gilbert’s life at long last. That was Claudia Hodgins.

With no thoughts in his head except for his friend, there was no way that Gilbert could hold an enjoyable conversation with a teenage girl.

“Hum, I’ll be taking my leave.”

These words came from his fiancée after a while, and that was when his consciousness returned to reality. “I’m sorry; I was a bit lost in thought... even though I’m with you.”

“No, I was glad to be able to see you. The tea here is delicious, too.”

“True. The food was also good.”

When he escorted her outside, a servant of her household was waiting for her from a short distance.

“Mr. Gilbert, do you think you can convince them?”

“If I get a bit more time. I’m a student, so I have no say on the matter.”

“I see. Me too.”

“It’s our parents’ decision. It will probably take some time, but let’s make some effort to convince them into revoking it.”

“Yes... Hum, I’m really glad... that you became my fiancé instead, Mr. Gilbert.”

Gilbert laughed a little despite not being very happy. Because he could tell that he was nothing more to her than a board piece that she could move as desired.

“As for me, I think my brother... always did everything better than myself.”

His fiancée titled her head and laughed, looking troubled.

The man was watching as water drops trickled down the petals of a rose.

A fresh and fragrant scent wafted from the bouquet he had just bought. He was oddly embarrassed of himself as he waited at a square not too far from their residence, his gaze cast down the whole time.

This was his first time buying a bouquet of red roses in his whole life.

Nothing was more awkward than the moment he made the purchase. He had given his sisters and mother flower bouquets before, but he had never chosen red roses.

——I guess that’s because...

He felt that he was supposed to give away said flowers when he found himself a significant other. He was so concerned about what she would think when receiving them out of nowhere that he could barely handle it.

——Would purple flowers have been better?

His lover would probably not refuse them, but there was a high chance that she would make a puzzled face at them. She was that kind of person.

——But I wanted to give her these. Can’t help it.

If the desire to give her flowers and please her was 30% of him, then the desire to try giving his beloved these special flowers was 70%. Even now, strong as the wish to give them to her was, he was equal parts worried about what to do if receiving them ended up troubling her.

Regardless, he had already bought them. He had asked the shopkeeper of the flower shop for a “bouquet of roses”, meticulously chose even the color of the ribbon, and then purchased them. There was no going back.

“Major.”

Violet came to the meeting spot at the square. The two had left home together, but parted halfway as both had separate things that they wanted to put in order, and then headed off to meet each other.

“A bouquet... Will you be going somewhere after this? I can take your belongings with me.”

Apparently, his endearing lover thought the bouquet was meant for a gravestone visit. Gilbert blanked out for a second, then found himself laughing. “No, that’s not it... I bought these...” While taking Violet’s things, Gilbert handed her the bouquet. “...so that I could give them to the person I love.”

On the other side of the rose bouquet, he could see Violet’s cheeks dyeing red and her eyes shining.

“Major, your eyes are here.”

He stared at the soldier girl who had said this. She was pointing at something.

In front of her white finger, which was stretched straight forward, was an emerald brooch. It was similar to the gemstones that Gilbert Bougainvillea, who now belonged to Leidenschaftlich’s army, had possessed since birth.

The soldier girl cast him a gaze that seemed to pierce through his beautiful eyes, which were suffused with his sorrow. “I wonder what this is called.”

Ever since she was an orphan who had barely learned how to speak, she sometimes had this kind of facet. Whenever she could not find an appropriate term, she would talk as if she were having trouble.

At first, he thought she was asking about “emerald”, the type of gemstone, but he was wrong.

“When I looked at this... I wondered what would be a suitable way to describe it...”

In that moment, Gilbert’s breath caught in realization.

“‘Beautiful’...”

Gilbert had been the one who educated her on how to talk. He taught her many words. So that she would be able to follow her orders.

This soldier girl had a beautiful appearance, but in fact, she was a beast.

——I never taught her.

The kind of beast who, for some reason, could only understand the word “kill”.

——I never taught her.

Therefore, their exchanges naturally were limited ones.

“Kill.”

“Yes.”

“Kill.”

“Yes.”

“Kill.”

“Yes.”

“Kill.”

“Yes.”

“Kill.”

“Yes.”

Of course, he had also taught her about lifestyle habits, so that she would be able to live on after he died. It could be said that Gilbert had done his utmost for her. But now his negligence was being thrust at him.

——I never taught her.

He could give her orders to murder, yet he had never taught her a word as simple as “beautiful”.

——I never taught her.

Even though she was a girl so fitting of it.

——I never told her.

Even though there had been so, so many moments where he thought she was beautiful.

——I never told her.

If only she did not have to live this kind of life with him in the battlefield, she would have been complimented with this word as many times as could be.

——She doesn’t know.

She had just found out about it.

——She doesn’t know, and yet...

On top of that, she called the gemstone that resembled Gilbert Bougainvillea’s eyes “beautiful”.

——I’m taking you to war, you know?

Why had she said that? She was not one for flattery. Praises never came out of her mouth. That was not her character. She only ever spoke the truth. She could not lie. She lived almost like a machine.

Which was why the fact that this was true and she was saying it from the bottom of her heart was too painful.

——It hurts.

To think that she would learn the word that she was supposed to be complimented with by looking at the eyes of her Lord, the one who issued her orders to assassinate people.

He bought the brooch and gave it to her, then passed through the nightly crowds as if to cut something off. He wanted to go to a quiet place. He was so ashamed of himself that he could not stand it.

Educating and guiding a child during wartimes was something demanding. Besides, this was not a normal child. It was her. The girl bestowed with the name of a flower, the war maiden, Violet. Gilbert could be considered a great mentor from a third party’s point of view, but he himself was stabbed too painfully in the chest by what had just happened.

“Major, what should I do with this now that I have it?” She showed him the brooch that she was holding.

“Clasp it wherever you’d like.”

“I will end up losing it.

“That would be the case when you are in battle. You just have to wear it only in times of peace... It might actually have been better to choose one of the same blue color as your eyes, though...”

The soldier girl Violet shook her head at these words. “No, this one was the most ‘beautiful’.”

His breathing halted at her clear assertion.

“I have thought since long ago that they are ‘beautiful’... I did not know the word, so I had never said it.”

It came to a halt from the pain and agony.

“Your eyes have been ‘beautiful’ ever since we first met.”

It felt like the affection cease his breathing and kill him.

“Major, your eye is here.”

He stared at his lover as she said this.

They had gone to a jewelry store to buy rings. A wonderful pair of rings, fitting of a happy couple.

——Yes, that’s what we’re supposed to be doing.

Somehow, it did not feel very real. The jewelry store was bustling with other lovers whom had sworn their futures to each other and the shopkeeper was waiting for their decision with a gentle smile. This place most certainly existed and he himself was in this space as well, yet it did not feel real.

“Aah, hum—�� Halfway through the sentence, he was unable to muster out the words.

She was right there. Despite her happy-looking smile, there was a voice saying, “This is wrong” in his head. He forced himself to crack a smile, yet his heart was making disturbing sounds.

——Something’s strange.

Yes, something was off. He did not know what. But there was a need to look carefully.

——What is it that’s out of place?

Golden hair, blue eyes, cherry-colored lips. White skin and long limbs.

——No.

Long limbs.

——No.

She had hands.

——She’s not supposed to.

His lover in front of him boasted a beauty that lacked nothing. She had no physical defects and was so beautiful that she seemed to shine.

——Aah, I get it.

Upon a closer look, the source of his discomfort was something simple.

“Violet, what happened to your arms?”

——You’re supposed to have lost them in the war.

The instant he said this, the smile that Violet had until just now disappeared abruptly. She deadpanned as if she were devoid of emotions. “Why did you have to say that?”

“No, I mean, this is weird.”

“It is not. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Gilbert was confused. He started sweating and his throat went dry all of a sudden. A drop of sweat trickled down into his eye.

He rubbed his eye and opened it again while evening his breathing, but in the next moment, the jewelry store had vanished.

“Violet?”

It was gone.

“Violet.”

It was gone. It all had turned into a completely white space.

“Violet, Violet.”

She had disappeared as well.

“Where are you, Violet?”

His loved one was gone.

“Violet!”

The person who mattered the most to him was gone.

“Violet!”

She was dearer to him than anyone else and he wanted to protect her, and for that, he could sacrifice anything.

The woman he loved most was gone. He had lost everything.

He did not understand how this had happened. Rather, where did the truth end and where did the falsehood begin, in the first place?

——Have I ever spent those happy days with her?

Gilbert started thinking. He started thinking in this pure-white space that had nothing, just like himself. About what had been real.

——We never had those happy days.

She was unfortunate from the moment they had first met and most likely had never been allowed to have a happy personal experience. It was only once that he had taken her to the city and let her make memories like the teenage girl she was. Only when he bought her the emerald brooch.

——Then what were those days?

What were those happy days that he could remember as if they had actually happened? That were kindly created almost as if to be an inverse proportion to his past?

The answer was simple.

That had been just a wish, or perhaps a dream. Something transient that would soon disappear.

It was not the “truth”.

There was no way that Gilbert Bougainvillea would have had such days. No way that he could be forgiven.

He had disappeared after the war ended. After all, he had concluded that it was best for her if he were not around. He felt that their relationship was too co-dependent and not good for her.

——That was exactly it.

The two who were far apart in age looked like parent and daughter, but the one who had a grip over the other’s life was actually Violet, and yet, Gilbert was the one she was depending on, so everything was a mess.

They were not like siblings, either. No older brother would make his younger sister kill people.

They were a superior and his subordinate. That one felt just right, but something about them went beyond that line.

——Our relationship is... Our relationship is... Our relationship is...

It was as if two people who were all alone had met by fate in a corner of the world. One’s loneliness had resonated the other’s.

Gilbert found himself bordering affection for the beautiful beast who always followed him from behind. After all, she was the only one who looked at him. In a life where no one else had ever done so, she was the first person to look at him. And just as she begged for it, Gilbert would return her gaze as well.

Violet adored her Lord, who always accepted her existence and gently guided her. This was something close to religious faith, and she would not mind dying over and over as long as he could live. His orders were proof of her reason to exist, but above that and above all else, being embraced by him when they first met had made her happy.

Having her existence be accepted made her happy. Being used by someone who treated her so kindly made her happy. She wanted to be his beast, she thought. If she could not be beside him, she did not even want to breathe.

Gilbert was... Violet was...

...in love.

Gilbert shed a tear in the pure-white world.

He had no idea why he was crying. Was he ashamed? Sad? Frustrated? Suffering? Pained? Did he want to die? Did he want to live? Did he want to be forgiven? Did he want to forgive? Did he want to complain? Did he want to apologize?

——No, I...

He wanted to be forgiven.

As the answer came close to the truth, his field of vision began to blur. He could tell that, yes, this world was going to end.

His vision swayed from the overflowing tears. His consciousness also began to fade just like that.

Dawn was soon to break.

The real Gilbert Bougainvillea was about to wake up. He surely would not remember this dream after opening his eyes.

This shameless dream. The wish for it have been real. The lack of repentance for what he did.

He was going to hide all of this and continue living. Without being loved by anyone. Without loving anyone.

——And then die in loneliness.

The man woke up in a room filled with the sound of rain.

It was a listless awakening. The humidity was probably high. When he attempted to sit up, he took notice that his body hurt. He could not pinpoint the cause of it, so could it be that he was losing to the advancement of his age?

The room was empty and there was no one else around. He had a huge bed all for himself.

With a somewhat dumbfounded aspect, he started preparing for morning regardless.

For some reason, tears kept on flowing from his eye, but he did not pay much mind to them. His own feelings did not pique his interest that much.

He changed from his sleepwear into a shirt and pants, then exited his bedroom and headed to the kitchen. He warmed up water and made tea.

There were fruits on the table but no bread. Come to think of it, he had the feeling that he was out of bread. He had to buy some.

Human beings sure were time-consuming creatures, Gilbert thought. They needed money to live, and even after passing away, they needed money for building a grave. Their bodies yearned for nourishment even if they did not want to eat, and when they did want to, they had to march to a grocer’s with currency in hand. If some part of their bodies felt weary, they had to go to the hospital. If their clothes tore, they had to sew it back. However, there would most certainly be days in which they would not be able to carry out these many everyday life tasks, no matter what. For example, in the morning after they had a terrible dream.

——So I haven’t forgotten.

It had been a dream, but a vivid one at that. It truly felt like reality. Frankly, he felt like he could lose sight of whether the reality was this side or that one.

He was probably still half-awake. His consciousness should clear up eventually. He should accept reality and live the exemplary life that someone else wished for him, as usual. He was made that way. Surely, he should be able to do it. After all, he had always been doing so. In order not to fail, in order to take the shape people wanted him to, he had put a choker on himself and submitted to his fate.

Even if he were unable to, he had to do it. Until the time of his death.

“...jor.”

In that moment, he heard someone’s voice. Gilbert nearly dropped the teacup he was holding.

“Major, are you awake?”

It was a voice that he was used to hearing. The voice tone that rang in his ears like the singing of a skylark called him by a title that was no longer fitting of him.

Gilbert walked unsteadily to the direction of the voice.

The front door’s knob was making rattling sounds. Someone was attempting to open it, but perhaps was not succeeding, as it was not rotating fully.

Gilbert opened the door with much vigor.

“Aah, Major... I’m glad. Your face does not look too pale.”

And there she was.

“I went to do shopping for breakfast. President Hodgins and the others are still at the market.”

Gilbert’s “greatest love” was there.

“They took a day off for the first time in a while to come visit us, and yet, our food supplies ran out because it was so sudden. But please rest easy. With this, the problem is solved.”

Golden hair, blue eyes, cherry-colored lips.

“Major, I hid the liquor that President Hodgins persistently forced you to drink yesterday. Benedict also said he felt sick when waking up, so please limit yourself to at least fruit wine tonight. I am worried about your condition...”

The silver prosthetic arms hidden under her dress squeaked as she put the bags on the floor.

“Major?”

Gilbert opened his mouth and took the air into his body. And this time, in order to awaken for good from the nightmare, he called the name of his significant other.

“Violet.”

Just calling this name was enough to dye the world in slightly gentler colors.

“Yes?”

As she tilted her head, Gilbert embraced her by the front door. He did not take any form of permission for it. Until now, he had been requesting consent for kissing and holding her, but this time, he did not ask for anything. He wanted her to forgive him for that. Violet did not refuse it either, which had him taken aback.

“Major, what—is the—matter...?”

“I had a bad time waking up...”

“Yes, Benedict said the same thing...”

“I woke up feeling like my dream and reality were mixed up... It was as if a reality blended with lies had merged with the truth... and boiled down into something ugly...”

“What a terrible dream.”

As his lover, who was always so aloof, replied to him so plainly, he felt like he could laugh away a little at what had happened to him.

“Yeah, it was. That’s why I wanted to put myself at ease by hugging you...”

Upon hearing this, Violet timidly wrapped her arms around Gilbert’s back to embrace him as well.

“Thanks.”

“No, I also dream sometimes, so I understand.”

“You too?”

“Yes. I do not dream too often, but... there are times when I have one particular dream. A dream where I do nothing but look for you.”

“As your childhood self?”

“Both, I believe. But no matter what form I take, in the end, I never find you. And so, I find myself thinking about something. That if things were going to come to this, it would have been better if we had died together that time.”

Silence.

“But when I wake up, Major, you are right there. Sleeping next to me. ‘Aah, that’s right. We’re living together now. I don’t need to look for anything,’ I think, relieved...”

While Violet went on as if whispering, Gilbert looked at her face.

“And so, I nestle close to you again and go back to sleep. It is all right now.”

“Yeah.”

At the end of the day, the two of them were alike, Gilbert thought.

“Be it morning or night, be it when I am losing consciousness or awakening, I can confirm it. That you are there.”

“Yeah, that’s really how it is, Violet... We’re all right now.”

When they nuzzled up to one another, the pieces that were missing from each of them formed a perfect circle. It granted them the strength to live in this unexceptional and cruel world.

After all, the two of them had to continue living from this point on too.

“What should we make for breakfast...?”

As Gilbert asked with a gentle smile, the corners of Violet’s lips raised as well. “They have come all the way here. I want to provide some hospitality.”

“Yeah, but really, I hope they’ll limit the unannounced visits to just this time.”

“I was pleasantly surprised.”

“It gives me less alone time with you. And we have our own plans.”

“President Hodgins is fond of you, Major.”

“Well, we’re best friends.”

“And it seems Benedict was worried about how our daily lives are going.”

“The only one he’s worried about is you, right? He gave me several warnings even at our wedding.”

“President Hodgins proposed that we do something fun today.”

“I have fun even when it’s just the two of us, though.”

“Major, perhaps it is about time to loosen this embrace... and, hum, start preparing breakfast?”

“I want to keep hugging you, just for a bit more.”

Gilbert was able to believe that he feared nothing now. Neither living nor dying.

——Now that I’ve got you, my “greatest love”, I’m not afraid of anything anymore.

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