#good luck out there everyone! with everything ya'know.

[pigeon-wizard]

so i don't know how many people have nebula on here or have watched Jacob Geller's new video on Exit 8 on there, but i have some thoughts!

(btw this might be a bit anxiety inducing, so like maybe skip over this if your feeling a bit shaky already. have a good day :3)

In the video he brings up Gang-Stalking and Paranoid Schizophrenia and as far as i know i would say they are fair was to interpret it, i haven't had any experiences with either, but while I was watching it i was just thinking "huh, this is just like my experience with OCD!"

No matter how normal the place, no matter how safe it is in an objective sense, it's still scary somehow. hell, the scariest places i've ever been in are extremely normal places, just a little darker then usual or a bit too quiet. as a safeguard you develop patterns, in Exit 8 it can be check the floor, check the man, then the doors and the lights, if the posters are normal you continue and if anything is off, you run. in my life it's been very similar in a sense, is the bedroom door closed? what about the closet door? you don't want the monsters from there to get you so better check them, and so on and so forth. its not even anything in specific half the time, it's just 'a monster' or 'a threat'.

the thing is that your just running in circles like a headless chicken, it's like your safeguards are the only thing letting you get to the 8th and final exit. and often it doesn't help to know this, you can know its all bullshit and still be scared. for years before i got actually diagnosed i was just in a loop of knowing that no monster was there and i was as safe as can be, and still scared, still repeating my compulsions. unless you put in the hard work (and it can be excruciatingly hard) to put a stop to your compulsions.

it's honestly a surreal experience but it's much better when you find a way out of it. its not Exit 8 all the time, and when you actually get to relax it's so nice.

#pigeon-posts #OCD #jacob geller #whew anyway. i gotta go eat dinner. #good luck out there everyone! with everything ya'know.

[panderbearwolf]

I just want this to stop.

Hi.

Just ignore this. I'm going to be venting about stuff going on for me right now and it's just a personal thing. This does not have to do with any fandom or anything fun. Pretty much the opposite at this point.

I'm dealing with a terminally ill parent. And it's so hard. I never imagined that this would be how he goes. But that's just the way it is. Dad is is in end-stage heart failure, and close-to end-stage kidney failure. He's struggling, hard. He's fighting. And I admire him for that. I do. But...

Gods, I wish he didn't have to.

It's so painful to hear him cough as his body shuts down. And I know he's scared. He's been crying when he's been talking to my mom. And I hate that. I hate that he's hurt, that he scared. And that there's nothing I can do about it. Add to that, I'm so scared that I'm going to lose him when I can't be there to say goodbye.

As I'm an adult (In legal terms only), I'm a part of my country's workforce. And I'm a low-rung employee in the company where I am. Plus, Christmas. So my company denied my leave of absence because, ya'know, Christmas Spirit. (Capitalism.) Also, I don't qualify for FMLA because I'm only part time and I haven't worked enough hours. (Mostly because I took time off to help my mom after her liver transplant, which happened earlier this year. Gotta love my family's luck this year. Good (My mom got her liver transplant), my brother had a kid (Good, according to him and my mom, so I'll count it), bad (we're losing dad. Too early. Too young. This is bullshit. Sorry, off topic.)

I may officially hate this holiday now. We'll see. (Scratch that, I fucking hate Christmas.)

I can't change any of this. I can't do anything to help and it hurting everyone I care about. My twin brother flew in for our last Thanksgiving with him, and it broke both me and him. My brother lives states away, and wasn't able to bring his son--my nibling--to meet his grandfather before he passes away. And my brother had to get onto a flight back to his state knowing that there was a strong change he would never see our dad again.

He cried. So did my mom and I. So has everyone, actually. We're very lucky that everyone was able to fly in to say their goodbyes. My grandpa and his wife down from Maine; my Aunt and Uncle from Illnois; my other aunt from South Dakota; My brother--sans wife and kid from Michigan.

We're also very lucky that one of my aunts is a certified nurse. She's been a godsend, helping my mom and I to medicate him adn make him as comfortable as possible as he can be while...everything is going downhill.

To add insult to injury, I was pulled over. The cop said that my tail lights were out. Held me there for a few minutes, then told me I was free to go. When I got home, I had my mom come out and check them with me.

Guess what? They were fine.

Today sucks, I hate this. I want it to stop. But in the way that my dad gets a miracle and everything reverses adn he gets to live. I want to stop crying while I drive to and from work; crying when I hear him cough because I know it hurts and I want it to stop; crying when I have to think about him being gone. Because I don't want him gone. Of course I don't.

But I know he's in pain. I can hear it every day. He told my mom today that he doesn't think he can hold on much longer because the past few days have been torture.

And he's not wrong. He's miserable. I can see it. And I want him to not be in pain.

So what's worth more?

Him being here or him not being in pain?

And I know my answer.

I want him to stop hurting. Even if that means I never get to see him again. Even if that means I never hear his voice say "I love you, sweetie" again. Even if that means that my Nibling will ever be able to meet his grandfather.

I hate that these are my options. But they're the only ones I have.

I hate this.

I just want it to stop.

[ihatebnha]

Hi, don't know if you remember me. I'm that anon from january who had a pretty bad relationship so I thought i'd give you an update!

It has been rough, my ex and one of the girls he cheated on me (idk if I ever metioned it but this girl told me everything about...ya'know) they have both stalked me, I even changed numbers and all but they keep trying to 'apologize' lmao.

So, tomorrow i'll be starting therapy! my friends and my mom have been supporting me so much and I'm so thankful. Thank you too for giving me so much comfort with your sweet writting <3

also, if you want some tea........ they got back toguether and cheated again lol.

🥺🥺🥺bestie...! i do remember you and wow!!! am i so happy to hear this!!!

even if you're not entirely free yet, it seems like you're haunting the conscious of the people who have hurt you, and i can imagine how good that feels to finally have concrete proof that they know they did you wrong...

SO, so much good luck to you with therapy!!! and shout out to everyone supporting you, as well. i'm so happy u have a support system (and a coping mechanism, teehee) to help you get through everything. IT'S TRULY WHAT U DESERVE❤️🔊🎉

and as for the tea? all i have to say is... 😏 may bad people be cursed to be surrounded by only bad people. motherfuckers deserve motherfuckers.

so much love to u always, anon! and thank u again for enjoying my blog and for the update... cheers to u!!!❤️❤️❤️

#wow i wasnt expecting an update but YAY!!!!!!!!!!! #this is so delightful to hear because the weight off your chest must feel so good #even if it hurts i know it also feels good #and you being treated right is all that matters #take care legend🥺🥺🥺 #hopefully ill always be here when you need a break #ask #anon #caitie chats #tw:abuse.

[aresrl]

Hello! I would like to request a matchup :D! If you are in the mood maybe vision, romantic (male or female is fine), friend and enemy? If not its completely fine, I'm glad for anything :)

I'm an extrovert and love talking to people! Or just listening to them, and knowing more about a person, seeing how they light up when they talk about something they love puts a smile on my face too. I’m super optimistic and always try to see the bright side of things, but when it comes to me I'm insecure about myself. I love helping others and am an honest person (but that’s mainly because im terrible at lying haha you can tell most of the time). I love making memories with the people I love and get exited for the smallest of things. I'm good at giving emotional support and cheering others up. If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, I AM HERE!

Sooo uh I am very emotional and maybe a bit naive. I can’t take critique well (but I’m working on it!) and can be a bit too energetic or too much, I’m a rather loud person. skdjdj. I daydream a lot and space out quite often. I can’t say no, and sometimes it causes me to stress out and not taking care of myself. I often put others before myself. And I have problems with getting really close with a person. I know a lot of people and would call many my friends, but I'm not really REALLY close with any of them ya'know? I love everyone of them, but sometimes I wish I could have someone who knows everything about me and still stays with me, even with my flaws and ugly sides.

My biggest fears are not being enough, people forgetting about me after I die, being alone and needles (I hate going to the doctor).

My hobbies are Kung Fu (hehe I'm doing it for seven years now, still counting), drawing and baking. I love going outside on an adventure and absolutely LOVE travelling. Meeting other cultures and customs is very exiting and I like to learn new things.

I don't like liars. Or people taking advantage of others. It makes me angry.

I like physical affection, be it hand holding or hugs. Especially cuddles! Man I love cuddles. My love language is physical touch.

I'm really sorry for any grammar errors, English isn't my first language ;-; . Thank you so much for reading, I love your blog, and am exited for the result! Have a great day/night! Your blog is very cool btw :D (I just found out how you can colour things on tumblr and had to try out hehe)

Heyo, sweet person! Thank you for complimenting my blog (though it's bad on a computer, I hope I can do something to change that)! Here are your results!

You received... A Hydro vision! Generosity, devotion to people, always helping others, and mastery are the main characteristics of the Hydro vision. • You love and want to help people. • You easily sacrifice yourself: forgetting about yourself and putting others' needs above yours. • You master Kung-Fu. Maybe in-game it would simply be martial arts. Your partner would be... Bennett! Always seeing the bright side! • You are wholesome, and in your life, you need wholesome people. Bennett is one of them! • Bennett needs someone positive, so he wouldn't face his bad luck all the time, and someone complaining about it would make him depressed deep down. • So he loves your positivity: it keeps him going. • You would always support each other. • He'd try his best to comfort your insecurities. •Obviously, you'd always go on adventures together! • Maybe you both would be shy at the beginning, but you would be so kind and understanding to each other (without forcing anything) that you'd get used to every intimate thing quickly. Your friend would be... Ayaka! You both needed the same thing, and you found each other. • Both of you needed a friend to be closed to, ready to accept your whole being, so you learned this together: true friendship. • As embarrassing as it can be, you try to be transparent about everything to be true to each other. • You've got similar insecurities, so every time one is comforting the other, both of you are actually learning. Your enemy would be... Kaeya! Liar, selfish, odious. • You know that he's lying only to get to his ends, and most of the time, you think they're not good. • To you, he has weird interests: making people embarrassed only because he loves watching them at one of their weakest states? What a cursed mind. Worth to mention • Wholesome people really fit you. That's why I see every wholesome character being your friend: Barbara, Noelle, Razor, Chongyun, and Xiangling. • Venti also likes you. • Hu Tao and Xingqiu really love to tease you. I'm satisfied with what I've done here, I hope you're too! The part about you loving it when people get happy when they talk about things they love made me think of this video, one of my favorites, by the way. And I also think that this song I've discovered recently fits you.

#genshin requests #genshin matchups #genshin impact #genshin