#gosh my period is always just pulling up my deepest and most painful insecurities before she makes her appearance huh ghjfhkl😭

[bnuyy]

🪼. .

#ignore ignore im just talking dont worry about me scroll away #but for me #i think worse than feeling ugly is feeling genuinely stupid #i mean feeling ugly is also not feeling very nice right now of course #but still #i feel like i have to try like 40% harder than other people just to understand certain things #i shouldnt have to retake several classes more than once it's wasteful and foolish and proves i am not meant to be here #im glad i realized now at least i shouldnt go to medical school it would kill me #it's not even just school conversations with people are lost on me so often i feel like i cant keep up with people #and i joke about it with friends and family that i'm a little slow and can't manage a lot of adult responsibilities #but this is really what i think makes me feel unlovable and useless #i feel like i have to constantly fake being smarter than i am #and its silly but i think about how im so attracted to men and characters that are super smart and sharp and i feed into my silly fantasies #and then realize they wouldnt ever give me another glance after more than an hour of conversation #i try really hard but it always seems to fall short idk #gosh my period is always just pulling up my deepest and most painful insecurities before she makes her appearance huh ghjfhkl😭 #lord i need to go to sleep i bet when i wake up ill have forgotten ever typing this and feel completely fine 💗