#but this is really what i think makes me feel unlovable and useless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lordystrange · 1 year

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10 best byler proofs by me

10. The cast, especially David (who knows the ending) and Finn (who might know something), are always so happy talking about Byler. They wouldn’t be if Will ended up dying alone as a sad gay. Also no one likes milkvan except maybe Millie unless she’s acting… Caleb even said ”Lucas and Max’s love is real unlike Milkvan’s”.

9. Mike has been queercoded throughout the whole series. Especially with queer colors, he spent s4 dressed as a gay pride flag. Also bi and pan colors are associated with him. Also Ted’s ”our son with a girl?” and everything Eddie said about forced conformity etc

8. Byler parallelling other romantic ships like Jancy, Jopper and Lumax. I’m not listing examples because there are SO MANY! (Also Milkvan parallelling all the platonic/dead ships)

7. Mileven being bones. We have nothing that shows their actual, deep love they’re ”supposed to have”. We don’t know what Mike loves about El and what El loves about Mike. We don’t know what makes them a compatible match romantically. We only know things that don’t make them compatible: El feeling the need to lie to Mike, Mike feeling embarrassed of his nerdy self with El, El feeling unloved by Mike, Mike feeling inferior to El…

6. The desert scenes. The triple take ofc, but also the car roof top convo with Will (jancy parallell). Will is talking about how it’s scary to say how you really feel because what if they don’t like the truth. And Mike NODS. If the truth was that he loved El exactly like El wanted, El would like that truth. So what is the truth Mike is worried that El doesn’t like…?

5. Mike’s monologue. He had to be pushed by Will to open his mouth. He lied about him loving her at first sight. He copied the t-shirt part from Eddie. He kept saying she’s his superhero which El doesn’t wanna be. He didn’t include anything personal about El and their relationship after the t-shirt thing… Also El didn’t seem to like what she heard and their love didn’t save the world. And they didn’t even talk after it. And while filming it they didn’t focus on just the couple (like they did with byler in s2 shed scene) and they let Finn improvise as if it wasn’t that important (as important as the van scene…)

4. Mike would be so poorly written if he wasn’t into Will and I don’t think the Duffers would just ignore his character. Also all the lip glances and heart eyes wouldn’t make sense.

3. Byler/Milkvan contrast. When Will was gone and they found his ”body”, Mike heard Will breathing in a radio channel and believed he was alive. He didn’t rest for a second, he did everything he could to find him. When he thought El was dead, he didn’t go looking for her, even tho a couple times he actually saw her. Also in s3 when Milkvan had a fight, Max said Mike will be crawling back to her begging for forgiveness in no time. Instead Mike laid on a sofa and ate and complained. When Byler had a fight… well we all know what Mike did then.

2. Mike and Will’s relationship has always been different from other friendships. They’ve said it themselves (”pls don’t tell the others, they wouldn’t understand”, ”Hawkins is not the same without you”, ”you make her me feel better for being different”). Also their scenes together have always been a big deal (van scene took an entire day to film, crazy together was written before s1 was even filmed) and they are shot in a really romantic way (music, lighting…)

1. In the beginning of s3, Will said to Joyce that he’s not gonna fall in love. That made his arc about romance. We know now that he already fell in love, but he doesn’t believe it’s requited. If s5 goes from ”i don’t think he loves me back” to ”he doesn’t love me back” we get literally nowhere and the entire storyline (since s1) would be useless and waste of time and money. They wouldn’t make Will suffer 4 seasons and then suffer some more. So believe me when I say it goes ”I don’t think he loves me back” to ”He does love me back!”

I wish you all a very merry byler endgame in s5! 💚

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unreadablehandle · 7 months

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How fanfic changed me as a writer

Since discovering fanfic, I feel like I realized so much about writing!

My awakening is probably the most significant on the field of characters - because the way they spring from what I know and love while writing fanfics (instead of how I always tried to make them out of scratch and build them from the dark)... it showed me I always did it wrong before.

And the secret is pretty simple, even. I just never saw it so clearly.

Because the key is not to make a sheet with their traits and spend hours thinking about their favourite drink and if they are the kind of person who pees in the shower or not. No.

And don't take me wrong, it can be very useful to do this. But if you lack the thing that matters, it's still useless. Because writing is definitely about the craft. But have you ever wondered why a painting that does not conform to the rules of perspective can blow you away more than the one that does?

It's because art is about heart, too. So to write a good character... the only thing you have to do... is to love them.

I know it sounds silly. But I really think it is the truth. To fit the character to a base that feels familiar helped me realize this.

Your characters can be horrible, despicable, unlovable. But if it's so, your goal when writing cannot be to depict it (as I often tended to do before). Your goal has to be to love them through that awfulness. So much that the readers can learn to love them, too.

That's it. That's the charm.

Also: writing characters whose traits were inspired by my faves (and reading hundreds of stories of the same two people who are somehow always different, though) helped me realize that people are very different but also very similar.

So when I write other stuff than fanfics now, I use the essence of people I've met in real life as a base for what I aim for in the "final product". It works like magic, really. Because with something to bounce back from, it's different than to pull something entirely out of thin air.

Changed the way I view character building.

...

Do you share the same experience? Do you disagree? What other things did you learn from fanfics? I'm curious!! ;)

#fanfiction #writing #writeblr #writing tips #writing advice #ao3 writer #ao3fic #ao3 fic

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acetone4veins · 20 days

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Mean Girls + Quotes Part 2

Find part 1 here

More quotes that remind me of mean girls characters and their various relationships :)

Regina

"i became bitter and untouchable. i craved affection but even the mere thought of someone caring made my stomach turn."

unknown

"i have survived everything but i fear that i cannot survive myself."

Cynthia Chapman

"was i raised without love? or was i born unlovable?"

unknown

"am i lonely because no one cares, or am i lonely because i'm not strong enough to let anyone get close enough to care?"

Rob Hill Sr.

"of course i look angry all the time. my entire life i've been fighting a war. i am soaked in pain and sadness. the irony however, is that i'm not actually angry, i'm trying to learn how to be happy. and that in itself is a war."

unknown

Cady

"i thought - i want to go home. i want to be in a place that feels like home. where that was, i did not know."

Katie Kitamura

"i understood myself only after i destroyed myself. and only in the process of fixing myself did i know who i really was."

Sade Andria Zabala

“do you ever wonder where you took a wrong turn? where your life became the exact opposite of what you wanted it to be?”

unknown

"i have always tried to make a home for myself, but i have not felt at home in myself."

Jeanette Winterson

Janis

"of course i'm angry. do you have any idea how many times someone should have helped me?"

unknown

"hurt an artist and you'll see masterpieces of what you've done."

unknown

"i don't feel guilt at being unsociable, though i may sometimes regret it because my loneliness is painful."

Susan Sontag

Gretchen

"what a sick little head, your love always turns into obsession."

unknown

"i don't think people love me. they love versions of me i have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. the easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love."

unknown

“i only know how to exist when i’m wanted.”

Mary Lambert

"i don't want to beg. i know you can feel it, my longing, the aching, my need for love. i don't want to beg. but oh god - oh god, please. please. love me. love me."

unknown

"for once i need to choose myself, or else i'm going to lose myself."

Veronika Jensen

Karen

“i believe in some blending of hope and sunshine sweetening the worst lots. i believe that this life is not all; neither the beginning nor the end. i believe while i tremble; i trust while i weep.”

Charlotte Brontë

Regina and Janis

"longing, how soft a word for such a ravenous feeling. how we hunger in silence."

Pavana

"dig your teeth into me. come on, i dare you. take a bite. open me up; raw and candy floss pink on the inside. make it hurt. i figure, you're going to hurt me one way or another. might as well be with your mouth."

Ashe Vernon

"i don't know what to do without you, i don't know where to put my hands."

unknown

"you are the knife i turn inside myself; that is love."

Franz Kafka

"i love you and i always will and i am sorry. what a useless word."

Ernest Hemingway

Regina and Cady

"i love you. i love you unconditionally. i loved you even in my ignorance. i loved you when i didn't even know. i just love you."

unknown

"and on some days, i wish our paths had never crossed because you don't know how heartbreaking it is to know that someone like you exists in this world and i cannot have you."

unknown

“i must have you exclusively, fiercely, possessively.”

Henry Miller

"i still haven't figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do."

William C. Hannan

“fuck my pride. fuck everything. i’m so desperately hungry for you.”

Henry Miller

Gretchen and Karen

"the way our fingers intertwine feels so natural and right; as if our hands hold memories of meeting in a thousand other lifetimes."

John Mark Green

"when i think of life, i think of you. when i think of love, i think of you. safe to say that i really like thinking about life with you."

unknown

"come on, dance with me. the earth is spinning. we can't just stand on it."

Dino Ahmetovic

Regina and Gretchen

"i suffer in my loving, and you know it."

Willa Cather

"i loved you to the point of ruin. i loved you until my lungs were filled with ash."

Tina Tran

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greenapplebling · 4 months

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I was pestered with Jamikali thoughts so have a short fanfic that I might or might not continue 💖

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Pair: fem Kalim Al-Asim x Jamil Viper

Hard to love

***

"Jamil", the heiress called for his attention. "Do you think I'm hard to love?"

The servant sighed. He just had to finish cleaning and he'll be free to go, but of course Kalim would take it as the perfect time to make an uncomfortable question.

Yes, he wanted to say. But he felt like that would open a can of worms he wasn't in the mood to get into so he avoided the question.

"Does that matter?"

Kalim jumped up.

"Of course it matters! What would I do if my future husband doesn't like me?", she puffed up her cheeks but then deflated. "I wouldn't want him to be miserable..."

Future husband

So it's that what it was about? He worried that she was referring to his overblot incident where he spilled all his hatred towards her...

Still, there was a strange weight in his chest that refused to go.

"... Why do you think you're hard to love?"

Kalim looked surprised at the question.

"Well, you said it yourself!", oh, there it was. "I can't cook, I can't clean, I can study on my own, I couldn't even dress myself until recently!"

She plopped down on her bed and started kicking like a child.

"... What kind of person would love an useless wife?" she lamented after she stopped her small tantrum.

"But that doesn't matter", Jamil insisted. "Kalim, you're rich and have servants. You don't need to do these things. I'm sure your husband will spoil you rotten anyway."

He thought he gave a reassuring enough answer but he got taken aback when he looked up to his mistress' face. She was red in the face, with puffed up cheeks and a frown. She looked quite silly but it was also the angriest Jamil has seen her so far.

"I don't want to be spoiled rotten! I want to be-", she cut off her yelling before looking at the side looking more sad than angry. "I want to be loved...", she said in small voice.

Jamil had half a mind to leave it at that and walk away but he decided to change tactic instead.

"Kalim", he sighed. "There's a lot of people that love you, your parents, your siblings", he avoided talking about the rest of her family. "Lots of students from the dorm like you and I'm sure the friends you've made like you. Does that sound like an unlovable person to you?"

Kalim hesitated.

"No?", but then she jumped up again. "But that's different! I want to a loving wife to my future husband!"

She grabbed her phoned and showed Jamil various tabs about "how to be a good wife".

Really, Jamil was feeling his patience running out.

"See? All these articles say that a good wife should be able to do all that stuff!"

"Kalim-"

"A good wife should greet her husband with his favorite meal."

"Kalim, that's-"

"A good wife should be able to take on the chores when her husband comes back tired from work."

"Kalim, I-"

"A good wife should be able to take care of her husband as much he takes care of her."

"Kalim-"

"A good wife should make her husband feel loved", then she looked directly at his eyes. "Like I couldn't do for you."

"Kalim, you- Wait, what?", he mumbled.

"Jamil", she said softly while looking at him with tearful eyes. "I love you..."

Suddenly he found it difficult to breath.

He knew that. Of course he did, it was obvious, way too obvious... And yet...

"I'm sorry I failed to make you feel loved."

Right there, he felt like crumbling before her confession. Like she did before his betrayal.

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notmorbid · 1 year

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everything everywhere all at once.

dialogue prompts from everything everywhere all at once (2022).

that's not a very good joke.

you need to eat better.

you'll know when it's time to fight.

i'm not ready to fight.

whatever you're about to do, don't do it.

were you not paying attention before?

nobody trusts their neighbor anymore.

i'm not trying to hurt you.

unless it's an emergency, whenever i try to talk to you, you always get pulled away.

we can make our own way. okay?

what can be worse than death?

explain it all to me. now.

the universe is so much bigger than you realize.

don't make me fight you. i'm really good.

why are you treating me like this?

one minute you're so warm, then one minute you're cold and awful.

let me help you open up your mind.

i got bored one day and i put everything on a bagel. everything.

you're living your worst you.

you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

'right' is a tiny box made by people who feel afraid.

you're young, and your mind is always changing.

i was just looking for someone who could see what i see. feel what i feel.

you don't matter. nothing matters.

whatever i did, i'm sorry.

please don't give me any false hope.

i've always hated this place.

you can just sit here and everything feels really far away.

i'm joking. that was a joke.

you think i'm weak, don't you?

when i choose to see the bright side of things, i'm not being naïve. it's strategic and necessary.

all i know is that we have to be kind.

in another life, i would have really enjoyed just doing laundry and taxes with you.

i don't want to hurt you.

don't stop playing. play something for me.

you are not unlovable.

there is always something to love.

we are all useless alone.

it's a good thing you're not alone.

he who loves the most regrets the most.

let's not live in a fantasy.

it's okay if you can't be proud of me.

i don't want to hurt anymore.

for some reason, when i'm with you, it just hurts the both of us.

let's go our separate ways, okay? just let me go.

i will always, always want to be here with you.

so what? are we just gonna ignore everything else?

this is awkward, right?

please give us a chance.

#dialogue prompt #rp prompts #rp prompt #rp memes #ask memes #families #lgbt

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elliespassagerprincess · 8 months

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Walk with me limit to your love by James Blake so much angst 🌞

Limit to your love - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, you are so right! This song contains so much in it! I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song Limit to your love by James Blake, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading. Also this story is my interpretation of the song, so bear with me......

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I'll go from there:)

Warnings: Cheating

Summary; In which you got your heart broken

wc: 1.5k

There's a limit to your love

Like a waterfall in slow motion

Like a map with no ocean

There's a limit to your love

Your love, your love, your love (your love)

Why would she do this to you? How could she? Were you really that unlovable?

Questions ran through your mind as you stared at the text Ellie sent you. A text message you thought you would never receive from her. The simple text that read: “I’m sorry about everything. Can we please talk?”

Sorry? What could she be sorry for? For leading you on? For lying to you? For manipulating you? For breaking your fucking heart?

Ellie has always been a smart girl. She always knew how to get herself out of situations. Whatever Ellie did, she always had a plan. An agenda with whatever she did. Ellie wouldn’t be sending you a I’m sorry text without having a plan. What the fuck did she want?

You met Ellie through a mutual friend’s birthday party.

You thought she pretty, she said you were pretty. You were so fucking stupid. You believed her. You thought someone like Ellie would be interested in you.

The two of you exchanged numbers and Ellie quickly asked you to be her girlfriend. You were happier than you had ever been with anyone. But the longer you and Ellie stayed together, the more red flags appeared.

Ellie begged you to keep your relationship private, you couldn’t even tell your best friend.

‘Maybe she just likes keeping her private life, private’ you used to say.

Making excuses for Ellie’s mistakes became something you did often. For every little thing Ellie did you always had a reason readily available. That one time she ditched you on your birthday to hang out with another girl, you to think it was an old friend of Ellie. She ditched you because she hadn’t seen her friend in years but little did you know, as you lay there crying, Ellie was tongue fucking her in bathroom of the club. You smelled someone else’s perfume on her that night, but chose to believe it was just because Ellie and her friend hugged a lot.

Around both your friends Ellie wouldn’t even look at you. She couldn’t stand you. She would talk about you as if you weren’t there. You didn’t exist in Ellie’s world.

“Are you guys close?” Jesse asked one night.

“no we’re not” Ellie quickly replied “she’s just a random girl I tolerate” she laughed. You laughed it off. But it hurt. It made you feel like shit. It made you look desperate. It was humiliating.

Confronting Ellie was never an option. Ellie would always say “don’t you trust me?” “I said that to make them think we aren’t together” “baby you know I didn’t mean it”

If she didn’t mean it then why did it hurt so much? Why did she always have an insult to hurl at you?

You chose to ignore the reality. You chose to be delusional and trust that someone like Ellie Williams would ever love you.

During your entire relationship with Ellie there was always something missing. A waterfall that falls in slow motion isn’t really a waterfall. A relationship that has something missing isn’t really a relationship. A waterfall without water makes it completely useless. A relationship without love makes it useless.

Whenever she held you, kissed you or muttered the words “I love you”, it never felt genuine. It never felt real.

The butterflies Dina described every time Jesse just touched her, made you envy their relationship. They looked so happy. It looked real.

Every time Ellie touched you, it felt forced. You always looked at her facial expression when she hugged you, when she touched you, her would contort into a face of disgust.

You always thought you were dirty, scrubbing your skin till you almost bled before you saw Ellie. Hoping that maybe if you bathed properly that she would finally look at you with love. That she would look at you the way Jesse looks at Dina. But you were never dirty. You were never the problem.

The problem has always been Ellie.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you realized your relationship with Ellie was one sided. She’d forget anniversaries, she’s flirt with other in front of you because you guys weren’t together in public. You were never a priority.

She didn’t fucking love you. She never did. And she never will.

The day you realized Ellie felt nothing for you was the day you went through her phone. It was a normal Friday night where you would go to Ellie’s apartment for a sleepover. Ellie was in the shower when her phone rang, you heard her scream: “baby who’s calling?”.

You picked up her phone frowning when you saw the name Vicky appear. Her contact name was decorated with hearts.

Why were there hearts? Not even your name had hearts. Ellie didn’t even have your number saved.

“It just Joel” you lied.

You quickly unlocked Ellie’s phone, knowing her password as you usually watched her fingers as they move across the screen. As soon as the phone opened you were met with a chat between Ellie and someone else.

The chat contained nudes. Dirty chats. Ellie was being affectionate. Ellie isn’t even nice to you.

Your eyes roamed on the screen, till it landed on a specific text message that Ellie had sent:

“I love you” Ellie rarely said it to you.

You looked up to the top of the screen seeing its Vicky.

What the fuck

Ellie was cheating on you. And it seemed like she was actually in love.

You didn’t matter. You never fucking did.

With teary eyes, you put off Ellie’s phone as you quietly got off the bed, collecting all the things you’ve kept in her apartment for the last 11 months that you’ve been together. You quietly made your way to the front door, and you walked out. You didn’t look back.

You left Ellie Williams that day. And sometimes you wish you did it sooner.

There's a limit to you care

So carelessly there

Is it truth or dare?

There's a limit to your care

How could someone be so cruel? How could make someone fall in love with you only to break their heart into a million pieces? Who would ever deserve such a thing?

The same way religious people would say, that Jesus didn’t deserve to die on the cross for all our sins, the same way you didn’t deserve to be hurt by Ellie. The girl you thought would change your life.

You haven’t heard back from Ellie since that day you walked out. It’s been months. 7 months to be exact.

Ellie never texted you again. She never asked you why you left. Even when all your friends would meet up, Ellie would pretend that you weren’t there. And it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Like your heart was being ripped out of your chest and being stabbed over and over again by the same person.

Ellie soon introduced Vicky to everyone. The two of you were almost together for a year and Ellie couldn’t even utter your name, but she could publicly make out with Vicky. It’s funny to think that Ellie was the girl you imagined a future with.

One night you and friends decided to play a quick game of truth and dare. Everyone went around daring each other stupid shit like licking the toilet seat and kissing the prettiest person in the room. When it was finally your turn to ask someone the question, your eyes met with Ellie’s. In this moment you could ask her. You could finally ask her if she really loved you.

Ellie could see it in your eyes. She could see what you were going to ask her and she wasn’t ready to answer that. Because even Ellie herself didn’t know if she ever did. She didn’t know why she even asked you out in the first place.

The words left your lips as the two of you made eye contact: “truth or dare?”

Without hesitation Ellie said “dare”

Fucking pussy.

After 7 months of torture Ellie finally decided to text you. You heard that Ellie and Vicky had broken up recently, so you could only assume Ellie came back because she had no one else to entertain her. Ellie was a whore, and you were pretty sure she’d find someone new soon.

Even if you wanted answers from Ellie you knew you were never going to get them. You knew Ellie would toy with you. She would make you feel bad for leaving her, and you knew she would have you begging for her within minutes.

It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to fall out of love with someone. As much as you wanted to strangle Ellie and cut her tongue out for lying to you, but you knew when you would get a hold of her, you would only want to kiss her. You want her to hold you, and make you forget everything bad that has happened.

But that won’t happen again. You would make sure of that.

You didn’t deserve what Ellie had done to you. You deserve someone who could actually love you. And that person was not Ellie. It never was. The sooner you accept it, the happier you’ll be.

You knew you were never going to get the explanation you craved, you would never know why Ellie limited her love for you. You just hope that you made the right decision by not responding to her text.

Authors note: I love writing angst so much. But anyway remember my requests are always open, feel free to leave one. You are loved and remember to always be kind to one another <3

Yours truly,

Zia :)

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beaft · 4 months

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First of all fuck everyone who tells you, you just need to open your eyes to the beauty around you. These are the kind of people who have no idea what you are going through and you should acknowledge and understand that. They may mean no harm but it's an ignorant thing to say. It's up to you if you think it's worthwhile to educate them.

The first time I was very depressed was when I was 16. I loved to be outdoors, loved nature, loved to bike, to run, ride my horse. And then I didn't. The most devastating thing was that once i managed to go outside, I didn't even feel the sun's warmth anymore. I was constantly feeling cold.

That's what depression does. You won't find joy in your daily rituals, hobbys or any mundane every day things anymore.

I don't know where you are on your journey but my internal reaction to every little failure or just unnecessary deadlines or expectations I put on myself was to just go and kill myself or I hate myself.

I saw a post on here ages ago that said, you should switch hate with love whenever you're having these kinda thoughts. So whenever you think, I hate myself, go and correct yourself and tell yourself I love myself. It took me such a long time to adapt to this but I can tell you it's worth it and it did wonders to my mental health.

I'm at a point that I repeated this so much that whenever I feel bad about myself for nothing/I'm just overreacting I instantly think that I love myself. It may seem like such a small thing but it really helped me to not fall any deeper into depression. The way you talk to and about yourself matters.

Are you on medication/in therapy or is there any way you could work towards these things?

Take care and remember:

This hole is not your grave.

the trouble is, some of the people saying this shit do know what i'm going through. if it was just kale-eating, motivational-video-watching yoga mums telling me this stuff, i wouldn't care. but often it's other people who have had similar mental health struggles informing me that i should go outside and look at birds more often, because that's what helped them, and it's like:

being told "you should do this thing because it cured me" is frankly a really backhanded remark, because chances are i've tried it and it didn't do anything, which just makes me feel like even more of a hopeless case. positive self-talk is something i am trying to get better at. i am also going to try meditation, although we'll have to see how my ADHD feels about that.

i was in therapy last year, but i quit because my therapist was a complete hack (i've had enough therapists to know when they're helping, and this person was - i say this charitably - beyond useless). i'm on meds that allow me to function but don't really help my mood. on the surface, i am certainly better than i used to be; i no longer self-harm, i eat normally, i can hold down a job. every time my brain shoots me a "you're unlovable" or "you should kill yourself" i hit it with a hammer like i'm playing whack-a-mole. but some days it feels like i'm just going through the motions of improving, play-acting a mentally healthy person. i might look like i'm doing all right, but the lion in my living room is here to stay.

thank you for your words.

#this hole is not my grave!!! but boy is it deep and dark and full of worms #sorry for linking a poem in my response i know this is very cringe of me <3 but in my defense it's a good poem

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echo-of-sounds · 2 years

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chronic illness/physical disability

How Aizawa, Toshinori, and Fatgum would help and support their partner who's physically disabled/has a chronic illness.

I really wanted to write these because I see so few posts for readers with physical issues. It's always about mental issues. And like with my other headcanons, I can mostly only speak to my experiences. It'd be impossible for me to try to encompass every illness and physical disability as there are just way too many.

Warnings: a bunch of medical stuff and a little about past not-so-great relationships, but it's all rather vague

Aizawa Shouta

At the beginning of your relationship or before you started dating, Shouta didn’t think much about your physical and/or chronic illnesses. They’re a part of you, and like with all other parts of your life, he accepts it when he decides he wants to be in a relationship with you. He’ll also educate himself on whatever you’re dealing with, so he isn’t an ignorant boyfriend.

He knows you don't need him to survive. You survived your life without him until this point. You don't need someone pestering you about meds. If you thought a heating pad would help, you'd get it or ask him to. He's there to help you when you need it, not be overly motherly. The times you do need help to get breakfast or to grab your afternoon meds, of course, he'll help, bringing you a light snack and ginger ale as well to get something in your stomach. (If he's home. He's busy and sadly isn't home most of the week.)

He doesn't judge or demonize the number of medications you need. It doesn't mean you’re drug-seeking or make you some sort of nightmare to deal with. If anything, they help by limiting your pain, discomfort, anxiety, and other symptoms. He’s rather indifferent to those that vilify the use of meds, no matter the amount. Some people need them to survive. It’s a fact.

One part he hates the most is how you think and talk about yourself. No, you're not useless. No, you're not a burden or shameful or disgusting, or unlovable. Simply existing with a mobility aid isn't taking up space. Needing help to fold the sheets isn't belittling. Asking for help isn't weak. Wearing pajamas for four days doesn't make you gross. You're struggling. You're sick. It doesn't matter what you get done in a day because you still have value by just being here. Yes, even the times you can't do things because of your disability. Caring, thought-out words do not come easy to him, but he certainly tries his hardest for you.

Chronic illnesses and physical disabilities leave you with a rather complicated relationship with your body. You feel okayish on Monday, fine for the most part on Wednesday, then completely hate how it's unable to function on Friday. You glare at all the injection and laparoscopic scars. And cuddling doesn't help when you feel physically gross, body cramping, sweating, making sounds you don't want to hear, let alone your goddamn partner. It's just embarrassing.

But Shouta isn't needlessly judgemental. Some things are simply out of your control. Surgery scars, implanted ports, ostomies, and splints are all things that have improved your health or saved your life. None of them are bad or ugly, and he hates feeling you curl away from him during one of those bad days. He resists pulling you back and asks if you want to talk. He may not be the best at reciprocating the delicate conversation, but the warm hand holding your side lets you know he’s there to listen to all the fears and anxieties.

While Sho’s spent some time in hospitals/at doctor’s appointments, they aren’t things he’s dealt with for prolonged periods for ongoing issues. Dealing with shitty doctors is a new experience for him. And it’s worse because it isn’t him dealing with it, it’s you. Getting a call from you at two on a Wednesday, crying your eyes out because of how little this ‘specialist’ cared about your problems and pain, ticks him off. He can’t just leave his work, but he tries to hurry home after, worried about how the third appointment like this’ll affect your mental health, possibly spiraling your depression further.

A horrible side effect of dealing with chronic physical problems is how it causes and worsens mental health. You have to spend literally years listening to people claim the disabled are just collateral damage, not worth saving. Chronic exhaustion, like the name implies, is fucking exhausting to deal with. People don't understand it. They think it’s ‘just being tired’ when it’s neverending joint and muscle pain, bodily weakness, brain fog, confusion, and you physically cannot get out of bed for fear of collapsing in the hall. They throw out lame 'advice' of "Try working out!" or compare it to depression when they’re two completely separate issues. It wears you down after years and years, leaving you hopeless and suicidal on the worst days.

Shouta can relate to this a bit. While his tiredness comes from a mental health angle from the combo of two jobs, stress, and general insomnia, and while it isn't the same as chronic fatigue, he does understand the struggles. It's hard to function when everything inside you is just too fucking exhausted. And all the annoying, unsolicited advice about 'taking melatonin' or 'trying coffee' only makes you want to throw something at their face because 'no, a fucking massage won't help and your essential oils are more than useless.'

He quickly becomes an angry partner. Not towards you or in an abusive/negative way. It’s towards other people, possibly snapping at the nosy woman who asked why you need a wheelchair if you can technically walk or at the doctor who brushed off you fainting for the third day in a row as a period issue. It surprises him a little just how angry he can be at others over you.

Before you do anything sexual together, Sho's gonna need to talk with you. He's naturally rather rough, and he doesn't want to risk hurting you with a position that'll subluxate your knee or make him penetrate too harshly. It’ll definitely take some exploring to find what’s best and pleasurable for both of you.

Though, that conversation can open up a can of worms he wasn't exactly expecting. Certain people just don’t understand how physical issues impact sex. Having one of those people as a past partner leaves lasting impressions. They made you feel bad when you couldn’t have sex for over a month, say it's unfair like you're punishing them, and act like their sexual satisfaction is more important than your physical and mental health. And when you are ready, it hurts, so you have to stop, making them mad all over again because "you should be able to push through the pain." Sho comforts you through the sensitive reminiscing, promising he’ll never be like that and that your comfort is always his priority.

Sex can also be embarrassing. You have to stop because of sudden lower GI issues. Or he'll pull out to see thick, black discharge on him despite not being on your period. He tells you to stop with the apologies. They're unnecessary. Your body works differently, maybe wrong, but you don't need to apologize for needing to stop. Your health is more important. Besides, if he really needs to get off, he can just do it himself. It's not a big deal to him.

Yagi Toshinori

Toshinori’s disabled, missing organs, and deals with the same chronic pain and vomiting. He understands the struggles of physical health issues and how different and agonizing they are compared to mental health problems. And when his flared up, he had no one. He pushed through it no matter how badly his stomach hurt, no matter how nauseous or lightheaded or disgusting he felt, and no matter how much he dry-heaved in an alley till his ribs strained.

It's difficult to know how much to share about your symptoms, particularly at the beginning of the relationship. Share too much, you might scare them off by appearing like you're too much trouble to deal with. Share too little, you risk overexerting yourself by hiding symptoms, especially the 'uglier' ones. Thankfully, Toshi makes it pretty easy to talk to him about anything. He's kind, patient, and with his injuries, has his fair share of symptoms. Depending on yours and how open you're comfortable being, he'll understand if you slowly talk about it, symptom by symptom, as the relationship grows, or if you just want to flat-out say your diagnosis(es) to get it over with.

Since he has to pay attention to his diet so, it's natural for him to also pay attention to his partner’s. It's not a judgmental thing. It's him making sure you've eaten recently and had enough water. When he cooks, he'll always place some aside for later for you. It can become nearly impossible to cook or prepare food during flair-ups, so if having casserole leftovers or finger sandwiches in the fridge helps get something nutritional into you, then he'll gladly do it.

One of his go-to ways to help is to offer to go for a walk. Who knows? After a long day of laying on the couch, some cool evening air might help. But he also knows not to push you too far. If you truly can't, then that's okay. If you can only make it to the end of the block or ten minutes, that's okay too. You tried. If you get outside and realize that it does help, he'll walk for another forty minutes if it's what you decide.

He's great with doctor appointments! He's suffered through enough of them, and he's more than willing to accompany you to one. The only thing that'll throw a wrench in his experience is how some doctors ignore your problems, even if it causes you significant distress. It'd take a reminder that he's a Hero, and used to be the top Hero of the country. Of course, doctors took his issues seriously. For others, it can take numerous appointments to find one doctor to listen to you. And it's always worse if you weren't born a man, overweight by the slightest amount, and/or have mental health issues as doctors like brushing things off as anxiety or weight problems, or flat-out ignoring you if it's related to your uterus, not bothering to mark anything down or refer you for any tests.

Toshi isn't above seeking out a highly-regarded doctor for you. He's seen his fair share of specialists and will ask around, maybe even pulling the "Yes, I'm All Might. Yes, they're my partner" to get you in faster. It's not about making you feel incapable, but more so about making sure you can get the proper care you need from someone willing to give it. He loves you and hates watching you suffer in any way. He won't stand for anyone ignoring or dismissing you.

After sitting in the damn MRI machine for longer than you prepared for and dealing with all the anxiety while you wait for the follow-up, you're left looking at a picture of your brain littered with so many white matter abnormalities it looks like a fucking dalmatian, mirroring stroke patients brains. Then they tell you how infarct-like lesions increase your chances of a stroke and that migraines may cause structural changes in the brain, and you just shut down for the rest of the day, dissociating away from the scary words — they too many horrible possibilities in your future that you don't want to think about.

Then it gets worse because your illness(es) gets worse, or you're diagnosed with another thing that affects all your other things. You feel stuck in your own damn body, barely able to function even with handfuls of medications, becoming bedridden if you accidentally miss a dose or the pharmacy or insurance company messes up.

Toshi's dealt with those low odds, those shitty feelings, and the self-hatred. You feel like it's somehow your fault — like you're a moral failure. Maybe if you did something different, ate different foods, lived someplace else, took different vitamins, life would just be different. But you can't know the answer to that. You're here, and you have to deal with the problems. And he'll always do his best to support you. He can't take the pain away or fix whatever's wrong in your GI system, but he will always support you, pulling from his own experiences to help.

Occasionally, it feels impossible to feel good in any way. If you're struggling for a long while, Toshi offers sex as a means to help. It isn't a straightforward question. He’s a shade too timid for that. It’s him helping you wash up in the shower after spending three days stuck in bed. You can relax as he softly runs the soap over your body, carefully massaging your sides, your breasts, your clit among the suds. You're always able to say no, no reason necessary. He knows physical health impacts libido. But sometimes, getting those endorphins running is what’s needed to stop the pain. If you want to continue, he lays in bed with you, between your legs, softly sucking your clit till you find a calming release. Sometimes, it leads to more. Sometimes, it doesn't. He doesn't care much either way. He only hopes you'll get a bit of relief.

Penetrative sex can be uncomfortable, if not nearly impossible. You worry you're never going to experience painless sex and be able to enjoy the intimacy you want with the man you love. If you go to pelvic floor therapy or have exercises, he'd be happy and very willing to get involved. Yeah, it might be embarrassing the first few times, but his want to make sure sex is enjoyable for you overrides all that. He may even surprise you with a higher quality dilater set (something he'd easily drop three-hundred dollars for) or treat you to a loving and newly-learned pelvic floor massage, nearly making you cry because for once in your life, sex is fun and painless.

Toyomitsu Taishiro

While Taishiro wouldn't call any of his physical issues an illness or disability per se (rather negative side effects from his quirk), he understands chronic pain and how badly one's body can just suck. His pain flares the most after expelling his stored energy, which leaves him weak, swollen, and exhausted. He also gets joint pain quite a bit, particularly in his hips and knees. His quirk allows his body to work in different ways, but that doesn't mean it's immune to the cracks, bone grinding, and bodily wear and tear.

However, most don't know about that part of his life and quirk. He isn't open to the general public about that. As you get closer, he begins to share his struggles. It can come as a bit of relief knowing that the man you’re interested in also deals with physical issues, allowing for a deeper understanding and connection of each other’s problems and feelings.

Tai also understands how shitty offhanded comments and generalizations people make are, especially if you're visibly disabled in the slightest of ways. If you’re breathing too hard, too pale, too slow, or too “fussy,” people feel the need to draw attention to it like it’s somehow inconveniencing or insulting them on a personal level. He received more than his fair share about his weight growing up. Though, for him, they've mostly stopped now that he's a fairly well-known Hero.

But again, that just shows how people won't complain about, mock, or chastise you/your disability if you're deemed useful and never complain about your symptoms. If you're not, then you're weak or not trying hard enough or lazy or a hindrance, or a moocher. They'd rather you be invisible than accommodate you in any way.

It's hard to internalize others' love when you know what you used to be: top-of-the-class honor student, taking four classes, able to juggle all the homework and essays while working a job on the side. But now? Now, you're stuck in bed. On a good day, you can take a shower, throw the clothes in the washer, and maybe get the dishes done before you collapse onto the bed again, timing when you get up for a snack and go to the bathroom with when your meds are due to make one trip.

Like Toshi, Tai does his best to support you. He can’t fathom the exact pain and disappointment you feel with everything going on, but he stays beside you the entire time. And he never judges the "gross" symptoms skin or GI issues cause or makes you hide your suffering for his comfort. If you're in pain, tell him. Just like you always do your best to help him after a fight or nightmare, he gets a warm bath going or heats your rice pack. Whatever your pain management is, he does it, laying down beside you for some cuddling.

Since his professional life is far less busy than the other two, he has more off time, meaning he has much more time to spend with you. It’s perfect if doctor visits are difficult or intimidating. New doctors are always the worst. You worry if they'll take anything seriously. The horrible ones leave you hopeless, scared life will be uncomfortable, painful, and debilitating. The truly terrible ones can leave you suicidal, preferring to not even be here if the rest of your life is going to be this shitty. He may not be the most experienced in handling those low moments, but he tries. His priorities are making sure you're comfortable, preferably beside him or bundled in his lap, and seeing that you're safe as you ride out the upheaving, distressful feelings.

On the other hand, he's great support for any surgeries and procedures you need. Those thirty-one Botox shots to your head are scary? He's in the neurologist’s office with you, reminding you to breathe and relax your muscles. Need a colonoscopy/endoscopy to explore nearly your entire GI tract? Well, he won't be able to fast with you, but he can make you some delicious chicken broth to drink. Need yet another pelvic exam, or worse, an endometrial or cervical biopsy, and just hearing them describe the procedure is nearly enough to make you faint? Yeah, he's in the room with you, rubbing your arm, letting you squeeze his hand as hard as you need through the long needles, punching and pinching, and way-too-heavy pressure.

A CT scan, two-hour-long MRI/MRA scans that make your head feel oddly, uncomfortably warm, transvaginal ultrasounds that hurt but you have to sit through, transesophageal echocardiogram, biopsies, spinal taps, the procedures go on. They’re difficult to deal with one by one, especially if your relationship with doctors is not the healthiest, but to deal with them all within a few months of each other is grueling, if not debilitating, to your mental health, let alone your physical.

Tai knows he can't go in with you during every procedure. Some have radiation exposure. Others need a sterile environment. But he will be right beside you when you wake up or come out, maybe surprising you with a cute, new stuffed bunny, and he'll treat you to some pancakes to help you regain yourself after. If it was a particularly taxing test, he's a little extra snuggly once home, which is exactly why he likes to take the day off in case you need extra loving after.

He loves adventurous dates: amusement parks, festivals, concerts, and fairs. It might take one or two for it to sink in how much they affect you, whether it be how hard it is for you to walk, needing places to rest, or how inaccessible they are, only having stairs and tight walkways to get around. He learns quickly. Whenever it's his turn to pick the place or if he wants to surprise you, he checks their reviews or scopes the place out to see if it's actually accessible. You deserve to have the same fun and experiences as others do.

If your ability to have painless and/or enjoyable sex is compromised, penetrative sex simply may never be an option. He's big, and if using your fingers is borderline painful, then he won't risk penetration. He isn't upset. He's more so at a loss for making sure you both feel good together. It'll take some working out and trial and error. Oral, mutual masturbation, and you laying on your back while he slides in between your thighs, letting you stroke yourself as he does, are the easiest ways to enjoy each other. If you're having some pain-free days, he may try fingering you and maybe, maybe PIV penetration if you're really wanting it and confident in trying. He's slower and gentler than ever as he massages you, stretches you, licks you till he slides in.

#aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #all might #all might x reader #yagi toshinori #toshinori x reader #fatgum #fatgum x reader #taishiro toyomitsu #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #aizawa headcanons #all might headcanons #fatgum headcanons #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons

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lady-de-mon-coeur · 8 months

Text

So Happy Together

AO3

Words: 1,279. Language: English. Rated G.

Summary: What if, in Frozer Ladybug answered Chat Noir’s question differently?

It was happening again.

Chat Noir was desperate.

He wanted to cry.

He wanted to scream and shout.

He wanted to grab Ladybug’s shoulders and peer into her eyes until his gaze reached the deepest depths of her soul.

He wanted to ask her, "Why don't you love me?" until he finally got an answer.

It was stupid. He knew it was of no use. He could do nothing to make her love him. He would only make things worse.

Besides, he already knew the answer.

That guy again. The mysterious guy Ladybug was in love with. His shadow has haunted them all along, keeping them apart.

Or perhaps it's not just this. Maybe it's Chat Noir who was the reason. Maybe he was unlovable.

Ladybug gave him such a heart-wrenching look that Chat Noir didn't dare touch her. His arms fell limply by his sides in defeat, a scarlet rose in his hand hanging down uselessly, reminding him of his unrequited feelings.

His hopes of ever winning his lady's heart were falling. Just like the petals of the rose he held in his hand.

He had nothing left to lose.

"If it weren't for that guy, would things be different between us?"

Ladybug’s face fell. She turned away.

"Just drop it, Chaton, please. Don't torment yourself," she murmured miserably, her head in her hands.

She was hurting, just as he was. Chat Noir could see it clearly. He hated himself for tormenting her. But he couldn’t just back away. Not yet. He needed a clear answer.

"I just want to know the truth, my lady. I won't ever ask this question again, I promise."

Ladybug turned around to face him once more.

"Do you want to know the truth? Okay. My answer is 'yes'. Yes, I'm sure I would love you the way you deserve to be loved. Yes, I'm sure we would be a couple, a very beautiful one."

"Are you telling me this just to comfort me? Or do you really mean it, Ladybug?" Chat Noir asked with a shaking voice, drooping his head and fidgeting with the rose he was still holding.

"Of course, I really mean it, Chaton". There was the softest expression Chat Noir had ever seen on Ladybug's face, and he suddenly felt stinging in his eyes and a large lump forming in his throat. "Oh god, you are such an amazing and lovable person. Every girl would be lucky to have you. I'm so sorry I can't give you what you want and deserve."

Chat Noir could see in the crystal-clear drops glistening in her sapphire eyes that her heart was breaking on his behalf.

And then she did something totally unexpected.

She cupped his cheek, and Chat Noir’s heart nearly stopped at the touch of her gloved hand on his face.

But if this gesture was unexpected, it was nothing compared to what she did next.

She rose on her tiptoes and placed an ever so tender kiss on his cheek.

"Chaton," she whispered softly in his ear, "please don't dwell on this too much. You have no idea how my heart bleeds every time I have to reject you. Please spare me the pain. You're such a good kitten. I'm sure one day someone will love you the way you deserve."

She then gave him a comforting hug and leapt away.

===

Don't dwell on this too much.

Such useless advice, if you think about it.

It was easier said than done.

You can't just show a picture of paradise to someone who is currently living in hell and then take it away and tell them not to dwell too much on what they've seen.

Chat Noir had thought that Ladybug’s honest answer would finally bring peace to his soul.

But it looked like he was thoroughly mistaken.

It wasn’t a closure. It was the start of something brand new, but just as painful.

He couldn’t get Ladybug’s words out of his head. It was real torture.

The memory of Ladybug’s hot breath tickling his ear was still so vivid. The place she kissed was still burning like a fire.

But now it has transformed into a memory of something that never happened and probably was never going to happen.

These imaginary scenarios of what could've been were passing in a row in front of his eyes, teasing his exhausted mind.

***

He's kneeling in front of his lady, giving her a crimson rose, as he'd done earlier that day, but this time she accepts it and presses it tenderly to her chest. There's a grateful smile playing on her lips.

***

She's leaning in to whisper in his ear, but this time, these are the words of love she tells him.

***

He prepared a romantic date for Ladybug, with candles and rose petals spread around. And this time she comes. She says she loves him too.

***

These scenes looked so real in his head.

As if Ladybug’s words, once uttered, had brought to life a whole parallel universe. A universe where they were in a happy relationship and in love with each other.

And Chat Noir was now sneaking into this paradise through a half-open door.

He wondered if Ladybug had seen similar sneak peeks. Most likely she did; otherwise, she wouldn't be so sure of what she had told him.

What was she feeling when she thought about their possible romance? Was she feeling bad that it didn't happen?

Didn't her heart flutter a single time while imagining these scenarios? Didn't a tiny part of her soul want it to be a reality?

Did that other guy know what he was missing? Would he still be able to sleep at night if he knew that the Goddess herself was crazy in love with him?

He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth at the mere thought.

===

The constant daydreaming and the visions from the parallel reality were getting the best of Chat Noir as the days passed. And there was no way he was going to give up daydreaming anytime soon.

This imaginary world was his quiet corner, which no one could take away from him.

The visions of the paradise he created in his head were so fantastic and enticing that, at some point, Chat Noir didn't care that they weren't real.

***

She's puckering up her kissable lips as she leans in, her scent invading Chat Noir’s senses.

***

She's resting her forehead lovingly against his, her delicate arms wrapped around his neck, before eventually melting into a passionate kiss.

***

They are stargazing, their fingers laced together, her head resting on his shoulder.

***

She's coming from behind while he's waiting for her on the rooftop in an attempt to surprise him by covering his eyes with her palms, and he's feigning to be surprised despite having perfectly heard her approach thanks to his enhanced senses.

***

These pictures, born from Chat Noir's vivid imagination, were countless.

This was still torture, but of a pleasant kind. Chat Noir was surprised to find out that he actually loved the way it hurt. He took strange pleasure in his spiralling thoughts.

He loved the way his throat tightened, the unshed tears prickling his eyes.

He savoured the bittersweet taste of melancholy and the sublime feeling of being rejected.

He loved crying himself to sleep. He'd like to drown in this pool of sorrow.

He reached the point where happiness and misery made no difference anymore. For him it was the same feeling that made his soul vibrate with some strange kind of music.

"My lady, ma belle, my love" he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes again. "We could be so happy together."

A/N: As you can see, not much has changed.

#ml fanfiction #my writing #ml frozer #ladynoir #angst

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igotanidea · 2 years

Text

Comfort: the Sandman fanfiction

A/N : Pure fluff cause that is what I need desperately today.

Pairing: Morpheus x f!reader (finally!)

Summary: after a fight and some harsh comment towards reader, she gets doubts about herself and Dream;s feelings for her. Luckily, the Dream Lord know how to change her mind about that.

***

Wrapped up in blanket, yet still cold and shaking y/n was lying down on her bed listening to the sounds of rain outside. It was almost like the weather adjusted to her mood. Y/n still has memories of a fight that happened a few hours ago.

-Look at everyone around you! Your friends have families of their own! Husbands, kids. And you? You are and always will be alone. You are a freak and no one will ever want you.

-You know shit about life. You live in your own world and look where it got you! Nowhere! You’re just a waste of space.

y/n was never the person wearing a heart on her sleeve. When someone tried to attack her personally and emotionally she would just put on a brave face, never letting anyone see her weak or wavering. Her tactic was to just shake it off, not giving the attacker any satisfaction. And it worked quite well for the time she needed. However, after some time, which might have been two hours as well as two weeks something broken inside was clawing its way to her heart. And those were the days when she would just isolate herself from everyone trying to deal with the accumulated pain. Those were the days when she was desperate for comfort and hugs but at the same time the mere thought that someone might see her like that was repulsive. She was using all of her power to keep her demons at bay, convincing herself that whatever was said to her was not true, but it was just too much to carry.

So now, with blank face, she was just staring outside the window, deep in her mind. Hoping this will all end soon. She really needed Dream, but would never go as far as calling for him. Well, the thing was that she didn’t have too. It was enough for her to blink and he was already in her flat, standing behind the table looking at her with concern.

-Hello, Dream – she sighs collecting herself – what brings you here?

-You called for me.

-That I did not.

-You thought about me and I felt it. So I came.

-Just because of a single thought?

-Yes.

-Why?

He seemed startled by her question. Taking a few steps towards, he sat on the edge of her sofa eyeing her again to the point where she felt embarrassed and looked down.

-What do you mean why? Is my presence unwelcomed?

-No! –she yelled – Of course not. It’s just….. I’m not fully myself today, like I’m a bit emotional and I know you don’t like when it happens so….

-y/n – Dreams slowly lifted her chin so she was looking at him again – tell me what happened. Emotional or not, I care about you. You are important to me, my love.

-Why?

Morpheus almost rolled his eyes.

-Do you wish to elaborate on that question?

-Why do you care? Why do you love me? I don’t understand that – at this point she couldn’t stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. – I’m nothing. Like a meaningless, worthless piece of….

-Stop it! – Dream ordered stopping her talking. His eyes also became a bit watery as he got the memory of how empty and useless he felt after imprisonment and retreating his tools. It was painful to him to see his lover in such state. – Is that really how you think about yourself?

-Sometimes. I just … I have times when I feel like I’m not good enough for anything. There are so many people who are smarter, better, more successful and more worthy of love. I…. – she stuttered sobbing not capable of stopping now that she started and let her guards down.

-My love – unlike himself Dream opened his arms invitingly and she just threw herself into them. Feeling his embrace made her sob even more but it seemed like he didn’t care, just holding her tight against him. To be honest Morpheus felt guilt growing up inside him as he felt her shaking in pain she was holding too long. – Do I make you feel unloved? – he asked quietly not letting her go.

-Of course not – she pulled away but was immediately yanked back to him.

-No. Stay. - he said embracing her once again and gently stroking her hair. – Talk to me.

-I can’t say it – she simply stated calming now, thanks to his touch and affection.

-Please. Tell me why do you feel like that. Did I do something?

-I love you so much Morpheus. But at the same time I think you can do so much better. I’m not beautiful or skinny and you are just so breathtaking that it makes me wonder that maybe I don’t fit…

At this point he did not gave her opportunity to finish as his lips found her, capturing them in the most gentle yet passionate kiss she ever had. Like he was trying to convey all the feelings he held for the girl who stole his heart and soul. His grip on her waist tightened as an indication that he was not planning on letting her go or finding someone better, whatever that meant. His strong hands holding her close and giving her comfort just the way she needed. They both could stay like that forever but eventually had to pull up for air.

-Hi – he rested his forehead on hers, still holding her close.

-Hello – she whispered back. She was not cold anymore. Being in his arms was just so right.

-Feeling better? – he smirked as she closed her eyes and put on the smallest of smiles noding – you are beautiful y/n - Dream cupped her cheek slowly caressing her face -You are witty, intelligent and strong. You are the only one to ever put me in a place, which, I hate to admit, is pretty admirable. You are observant, quick to think and I could never ever stop loving you or get bored with your personality. Whoever else try to tell you that you are less than perfect I shall condemn to eternity with nightmares, if that is your wish.

-I don’t think that would be necessary. You are enough to make me feel strong enough to face the Devil himself

-More like herself, love. And even thought I know you are capable of everything it is unwise to mention that name in a conversation – he gently rubs his nose against her breathing her in, silent warning in his voice.

-I’m sorry – she whispers leaning in and kissing him again, completely lost with the contact.

-I love you, y/n, and don’t you ever feel differently. Now, rest, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You don't have to act stronger than you are when you're with me.

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