#havent found a replacement yet jklfjsdl oopsie. but like how do u talk to a therapist about this shit anyway lol

[cerealmonster15]

ougugugughghhh i get,,, so embarrassed when i try to be Earnest lol especially w/in the context of like fanart/fic like i LOVE when other people do it i LOVE reading earnest and vulnerable deep fics and seeing intense fanart etc etc etc. but then i do it i feel like i am Going To Be Killed LJFDKSLF SDJFLS

#yknow like??? if i do ANYTHING other than my funny ha ha sillies <-which i love btw. my fave thing to do ever #but if i try something Different i feel like im CRINGE for trying bc im not. good at it?? #or like im Trying Too Hard?? I GET SO EMBARRASSED #anyway i got jumpscared by a jami/azu i found from last year #and i mean /i/ like it but. i feel like i would die if i posted it #im p sure ididnt post that one i just sent it to my friend on discord #and then even that still made me Feel Embarrassed lol #SORRY GOD idk why im airing out so much internal feelings today lol #can i really blame it on the caffine. can i. god i really need to find a new therapist lol i cancelled the old one but #havent found a replacement yet jklfjsdl oopsie. but like how do u talk to a therapist about this shit anyway lol #i dont. WANT to tell them about tumblr thats EMBARRASSING #sorry this all boils down to im very insecure and always have been l o l #like it's FINE ill be FINE im just oughhghghghgh yknow? #i guess im better than i used to be bc. i post way more than i used to re:drawing and writing lol but #i do have fits of panic where im like #🧍‍♂️am i delusional. perhaps my mutuals/followers r just politely humoring me #and i am simply making A FOOL of myself #maybe!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know #not that i think anyones out to get me or anything i just hfhhhshhdhsghf #i lost track of what i was talking about #anyway shoutout to people who r nice sorry i have a hard time absorbing it lol thats a ME problem not anyone else