#but if i try something Different i feel like im CRINGE for trying bc im not. good at it??

[cowboy-robooty]

now that wiener has changed me i can show my true colors to you all. this is the equivalent of me posting my little prince on the internet okay because i genuinely think this is cringe and stupid but i cant help it i have autistic rage and everyday i fight against it. anyways the reason why its so big i like wieners itapan is bc this is how i actually feel about itapan

its okay though because everyday i fight to cure myself of these aids (once i opened my social media app and saw itapan and my day genuinely felt significantly worse. ruined even. i am fighting so hard).

#BECAUSE I FOR REALSIES THINK ITS SO DUMB TO GET ACTUALLY DEADASS MAD AT FICTIONAL SHIPS #WHO THE FUCK CARES #AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT SHUT YO DUMBASS UP!!!!! #but my weakness... is itager... because idk im ill abt them its not a joke #ive been this way for like 6 years now #i can handle reading fanfics of germany x other characters bc germany literally never loves them #like all the fics i read of him x other characters is just him being tortured by them and he doesnt even like them #the only way he reciprocates their affections is literally after white room torture and getting turned into a different person #i believe that i think thats true thats the only way he could possibly show romantic affection to someone other than italy #i only can tolerate and sometimes enjoy content of germy/itatard x other people if its onesided and they dont love the other person #bc then im like yeah seems legit cuz theyd only love eachother in all universes #and i feel this way abt basically all of my ships i care abt bc im a monoshipper #but usually i wont give a fuck if i see them with other people im like that sucks lol but not my house not my soup! #BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY #IT MAKES ME ACT LIKE A FREAK ! I DONT ENDORSE MY OWN BEHAVIOR #thats why this is my shame............. this is my one true cringe and something i genuinely consider a flaw of mine #one of my few if not only autistic rage inducers............. please accept me for who i am. i am trying to fight this (ngl im losing but #we still try our best bc i want to have no weaknesses) #one of my few weaknesses..... #robooty dick pic

[allofuswantgwinam]

I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it

#barely #im learning to lean on the people that care about me #i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭 #and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past #all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah #work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all #i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass #and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺 #it was just so bad fr #and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today #but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao #it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now #a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad #im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help #im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now #that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣 #also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised #that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣 #funniest guy I know right there lmao #we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one #today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together #im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore #but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it #fully #for the first time in too long #last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it #fuck that guy so much #just realizing this was amazing wow #so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me #proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹

[cerealmonster15]

ougugugughghhh i get,,, so embarrassed when i try to be Earnest lol especially w/in the context of like fanart/fic like i LOVE when other people do it i LOVE reading earnest and vulnerable deep fics and seeing intense fanart etc etc etc. but then i do it i feel like i am Going To Be Killed LJFDKSLF SDJFLS

#yknow like??? if i do ANYTHING other than my funny ha ha sillies <-which i love btw. my fave thing to do ever #but if i try something Different i feel like im CRINGE for trying bc im not. good at it?? #or like im Trying Too Hard?? I GET SO EMBARRASSED #anyway i got jumpscared by a jami/azu i found from last year #and i mean /i/ like it but. i feel like i would die if i posted it #im p sure ididnt post that one i just sent it to my friend on discord #and then even that still made me Feel Embarrassed lol #SORRY GOD idk why im airing out so much internal feelings today lol #can i really blame it on the caffine. can i. god i really need to find a new therapist lol i cancelled the old one but #havent found a replacement yet jklfjsdl oopsie. but like how do u talk to a therapist about this shit anyway lol #i dont. WANT to tell them about tumblr thats EMBARRASSING #sorry this all boils down to im very insecure and always have been l o l #like it's FINE ill be FINE im just oughhghghghgh yknow? #i guess im better than i used to be bc. i post way more than i used to re:drawing and writing lol but #i do have fits of panic where im like #🧍‍♂️am i delusional. perhaps my mutuals/followers r just politely humoring me #and i am simply making A FOOL of myself #maybe!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know #not that i think anyones out to get me or anything i just hfhhhshhdhsghf #i lost track of what i was talking about #anyway shoutout to people who r nice sorry i have a hard time absorbing it lol thats a ME problem not anyone else

[snekdood]

People are SO fucking weird about vegans. Like yeah i get it theres the ones who care more about animals than humans, the ones who are literally eco fascist, the raw vegans, the militant vegans, the ones who say theres no excuse to eat meat- i get it dude but thats not what makes up veganism as an ideology. The very basis of veganism as an ideology (not as a diet) is animal welfare. People can take something simple like that and pull it in a million different directions for better or for worse, same with the idea of reincarnation, or the idea that "people need to be treated fairly", because it brings up a lot of questions like "do people who treat people unfairly deserve to be treated unfairly?" Or "if reincarnation is real then does that take away the seriousness of death?" Or "if animals are mistreated, shouldnt we do everything in our capacity to protect them (even if it hurts others?)" But obviously all of those things can go in an opposite direction thats purely positive, "everyone deserves to be treated fairly regardless", "believing in reincarnation is fine as long as you dont think its fine to kill someone to 'liberate' them or something", "animals should be protected insofar as it doesnt greatly impact certain humans who may need to rely on them", etc. Like. Why do we have to pretend everything is black and white to keep pushing away and ignoring vegans?

#veganism is NOT tethered to militant vegans or whatever. militant vegans are vegan but they dont make up the entirety of veganism. #veganism has a very basic ideology that people can build off of in a million different ways just like any other similar basic idea #thinking vertain vegans are cringe is not a good enough excuse to ignore all vegans. #yall arent even on the same level of vegan as im on rn like dusjdksnjwb im on an entirely different wavelength dawg #i understand how you see vegans but i think people can be vegan even if they eat meat sometimes so #like i have an entirely different understanding of it as an ideology. its about doing what you can without letting yourself suffer #if you have to eat meat for some reason so be it. that doesnt make you any less vegan so long as you try to avoid harming animals #thats the VERY BASIS of my understanding of vegan ideology. or at least. the healthiest version of it imo. #sometimes i hafta eat meat because im poor. i hate it for a myriad of reasons (how i feel abt eating an animal. how my digestive system #also feels about eating an animal. etc lol) but i dont think that takes away my veganism bc otherwise veganism would be incredibly #restricted to a very specific type of person who has a shit ton of money time and energy to buy vegan shit and cook it and everything #its not impossible to eat vegan without a lot of money also but thats besides my point. it would generally fall under something only #more privileged people can do and i think thats a dumb version or understanding of veganism. and to reduce it to that #whether ur the vegan reducing it to that or someone on the outside observing vegans #is also dumb. #theyre doing it for elitist reasons and you're doing it to validate or push your political ideals of vegans. #bc its easier to dismiss all vegans as just privileged out of touch skinny white women than it is to listen to ALL vegan perspectives.

[raazberry]

sometimes i really do wish i could go back to how i was online in the 2010s when the concept of being cringe or being an edgelord didn't exist in my brain

#like yes i was oversharing i was saying things that could easily be used by someone to come and kill me #etc etc #but at least i could talk to people and feel connected to them without being terrified #nowadays im just like #spending an hour fucking writhing on my bed because something's bothering me #and then my brain would be like duuude you're so fucking cringe stop being edgy for no reason #bc those thoughts are always about either hurting myself or feeling Different from other people #and like it's stupid and i'm not trying to take a stance on The Morality Of Memes or whatever here. i couldn't care less #but years of Haha mentally ill people think they're soooo edgy memes have ruined my self perception #because now i will reprimand myself for hating myself and trying to be Different when i could just be happy and content #and then act like a victim because oh no nobody wants to listen to me #anyway sorry about the vent i am not doing very well as u can tell lol #i just wish i wasn't so scared of talking to other people who literally want to do nothing more than help #zzz #vent #delete later

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

#asks #creeped #natalie ouellette #clockwork creepypasta #creepypasta clockwork #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #nina the killer #nina hopkins #nina the killer headcanons #clockwork headcanons #sweetart #creepypasta art #creepypasta fanart

[leclerced]

🌼anon here!(sorry for the multiple asks today idk maybe I'm ovulating) between maxoscar,landoscar and max-lando who do you think would be the most feral?....i just feel that lando - max threesome would make anyone loose their mind. Them taking turns to corrupt the reader😵‍💫

hi daisy !! i love all the asks so it’s okay!! im on my period and extremely horny so i dont mind 🫶🏻

i am a maxoscar girlie thru and thru so i want to say them but im going to tell u all my thoughts bc i dont think its that simple. all feral in dif ways. but lando is less feral and i explained that at the end.

max and oscar are both very calm and level headed, not very reactive, so they wouldn’t be noticeably excited, if that makes sense. they’d be up for anything, and if they suggest doing something new and kinky, it’s with a very neutral, almost bored expression and tone, “hey i’ve been reading about bondage, how do you feel about being tied up?” reader is the one who gets kinda feral, super eager for whatever it is, kinda like “oh my god yeah lets do that. i wanna do that right now.” would do literally anything though, it doesn’t matter who is suggesting it or what it is, they’re down to try it at least once.

landoscar would bounce off each other a lot, lando gets weird ideas and oscar goes along with them without too much thought. he just looks up whatever new weird thing lando wants to do and helps him talk to reader about it, chances are none of them have done it before so there’s some of trial and error when they’re trying new things. i think lando would be really high energy and excited about it, same with reader, and oscar slows them down and reminds them to take their time, not to get caught in the moment.

max lando would function very similarly, with max taking on a kind of guiding role and keeping lando in line. lando’s v eager to please, happy to listen to max’s commands especially when it’s something he wants to do like overstim reader. feral in that sense.

specifically with lando, w max or oscar, i feel like there’s things he wouldn’t do bc he’s squeamish. just certain things would wig him out so he’s less feral than max and oscar, who would do anything at least once just to see if they like it. or even do stuff they don’t necessarily get off to bc reader does and just getting her off gets them off so it doesn’t matter if they like it as much. lando would have a few things he just considers gross bc he doesn’t like the way smth feels on his skin or smth like that. maybe food kink? reader suggests playing with whip cream and he’s like “no. that only goes on ice cream or pie. it’s so messy it’d get all over the sheets and we’ll have to shower because we’ll be gross and sticky. i hate being sticky. what if it gets in my hair?” meanwhile oscar’s imagining all the different things he can drip onto her and lick off, like honey or chocolate, or what he can dip in whatever he’s covered her in. lando would cringe at the idea.

#ask #🌼 anon #mv1/op81 #mv1/ln4 #ln4/op81

[mrsnancywheeler]

ommggg i read let me down easy today and i kept re-reading it bc its TOO GOOD AHH !!🦅🦅

it hurt so much but im a whore for angst first, and a human second🫶

just thinking about the reader suffering in silence because she feels guilty for having any negative feelings towards finnick :(( the way she dismisses those feelings bc she thinks that whatever she’s going through is nothing compared to what he’s been through :((

also thinking abt finnick’s slow realization that she’s suffering because of him :(( like the incident at the market is when he began to notice the changes :(( and later when he fully understands how his behavior affected her IT MESSES HIM UP SO BAD

i just know he was remembering his past interactions with reader (where she breaks the glass / when she rejected his money at the pearl necklace stand) AND CRINGING …and it only gets worse when reader spills her guts about what she went through. omg ik he was sick.

another #thougjt i had was how this might mess up the reader for a bit after too #idk (that just might be me tho lmaoo) bc i feel like once you’ve been in that cycle of feeling depressed/insecure for so long it’s hard to snap out of, even with constant reassurance 😔

But maybe that’s just my angsty side talking HAHA

but i loved this fic, 11/10🫶

-🦅

omg yes, literally my favorite thing I've ever written. ik I wrote it, but it's the only thing of mine I reread bc it's like the perfect expression of how I feel, like if I could represent myself in one fic it would be that one if that makes any sense. it's like a concept that always haunts my mind no matter what I'm hyperfixating on maybe because I'm just like melancholy like that 🎀🎀🎀

but thank you so much, I'm literally so glad people are enjoying it because it literally is my own roman empire

yes she wants to be angry, she is angry, but refuses to let herself be because his issues are what she needs to prioritize. how can she be angry when he is constantly suffering? even if it's not so slowly tearing her apart, like a piece of paper sitting in water, she's trying to stay connected for the illusion of it all, to be strong for him.

her being loving isn't new to him, so he isn't thrown off by that, only slightly confused by her waking up earlier then usual. so her gifts have little bearing when he's used to it and he really doesn't want to feel loved right now because he's trying to reject whatever will make him seek comfort. when she starts changing her clothes and makeup, it's different, but he's not responsive because she's always been his pretty girl and always will be, her buying new clothes doesn't make him perceive her any differently or wonder if there's a reason, people try out new things.

when he notices how other peoples interactions with her have changed that's when he really starts to notice, if everyone else perceives her as melancholy then something has to be wrong. even if he's not quick to point the finger back to himself. he tries gifts, maybe she wouldn't buy something because she wanted him to do it, some sort of attention, but it's not big enough part of the issue to have any bearing on the effects it's now had on her. the girl rotting depression era shall we say. eventually through that, what people say to him, self-reflection he gains full consciousness of what he's been doing, how he's been hurting the person he loves so much. and the guilt is incomprehendable.

how could he be so selfish? so closed off as not to process all the clear cries for help? thinking about how he was getting annoyed, feeling like she was being moody when she insisted on doing the dishes until the dish broke. how she ran out into the ocean, in the rain without a care to regain some sense of composure, composure to try and make him happy. then the necklace thing, how could he miss her clearly trying just to be with him, be near him, have the interactions with him that he was giving to the girl at the shop instead? he was so unresponsive to the emotional needs he just assumed it to be a material need that he was willing to give. so when she rejects the money it just doesn't compute, to buy it she needs it, and then she tries to send the message that buying something isn't what she's asking for but he misses it completely. he gets snappy and it snaps her.

so when he's finally talking to her, he needs her to tell him the truth, the nuances because he's been so blind to all of it. he needs to know how he hurt her and it really is like a full wake up call. he can't let his own trauma consume him, allowing it to traumatize her in different ways. like when she mentions her getting to the point of just wanting him to want her body if he wouldn't want her because that's how people perceive him, that's what was hurting him, but he inadvertently made her feel that way. it breaks him to think that he did that to her, that he hurt his girl that way. then the idea that she would have let him cheat on her, she would've picked being with him over her own well-being, well she did, and he doesn't deserve that. he can't fathom how he could be with someone who loves him so blindly as to choose being with a ghost of him over not having him at all, when she deserves so much better. when he has been so callous with such a precious kind of love. or the fact that he even made it seem like he had interest in anyone but her.

there will be a fluffy, smutty requested sequel but readers issues afterwards will be lightly touched upon in it. but yes, she would have to spend so much time mending her relationship with herself afterwards. he's totally on hand and knee trying to make it up to her, to prove how much he loves and needs her, to give the attention she deserves. but she's still paranoid about cheating, insecure, scared, even if she tries to mask it. but he knows. he could, and does, spend hours praising her, telling her how pretty she is, how she's the only one, how sorry he is, how much he adores her, but it doesn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head. she tries to hide it but she's clingier and he's okay with that, she needs him more.

but yes there's lots of long term effects the incident has on there relationship. and they have to try and navigate that together.

thank you pookie, I love your thoughts sm 💋💋💋💋💋💋

#wanda 💋 #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #🦅 anon

[sourcengine]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

#dectalk anwsering

[diorsbrando]

the way i’m slowly and extremely gradually treating my blog like my diary or just like….instagram or something is becoming increasingly concerning to me by the day. i just post and rb a bunch of stuff that i like or supporting other creators on here or screaming about my thoughts (that have so much range by the way). uncontrollable venting under the cut .

TLDR -> i am in my feelings and im feeling sad and wallowing in self loathing things because i want to write so so bad all the time but there are so many other factors discourage me from doing so, like im not good enough because i don’t publish things enough, & not many people read anything i write anyway

<\3

i really am trying not to hate myself because another 2-ish months have passed since the last time i have posted a fic, but it is so so hard not to. SO HARD. mutuals are doing kinktober events left, right and center, other moots post fics and blurbs as easy as sending a 5 sentence text and here i am. envious of them all. rereading and proofreading and staring at the same drafts i have had in my google docs for weeks. months, even!

i just get discouraged coming on here sometimes. it’s not that i don’t have the motivation to write because i do— i really do. i have so so many ideas that i want to share with everyone and my writing style keeps evolving and it makes me want to experiment with different tropes with my favs and see how well i can execute them. but the actual doing it….finding the time and trying to balance is just :( sob. it’s hard.

i internally cringe and silently scold myself at the wips i have and remembering how at the time i created them i was so excited to write them but then never finished for one reason or another. abandoned series make me sad :/ i feel guilt when people talk to me about how much they liked a headcanon i did and how i promised to expand on it, or multichap series i only posted the prologue and first chapter over a year ago. guilt bc i want to write everything but just can’t and i’m still struggling to accept that.

and in the process of struggling with this fact it turns into a self loathing cycle that then turns into disappointment when interactions on my writing pieces are low and have become stagnant, and the pieces are 4+ months old or something, and it’s like will i become irrelevant if i don’t post something soon? i have nothing new to offer at the moment, all the ideas im excited about and i have a feeling people will like im still working on or in the brainstorming phase so im like what do i do? idk. then i just close the app.

don’t even get me started on how admiration at just how good other people write makes me feel awful about my own writing…..

anyway sorry for boring you with my feelings but yeah :,) maybe i should stop being so hard on myself

if u read this far then….wow. thanks for listening 🤍

#ʬʬ.sosa speaks.com #sorry this turned into a serious ugly emotional rant and #i am sorry #sigh #i could have gone into a lot more detail with other things that make me feel bad and discouraged #but maybe another time #anyway. #im gonna watch some anime

[arowrath]

wrt that poll abt tone indicators thats going around.w ell first of all tbh i think some of the hatred for them comes from cringe culture. but second of all. some of the criticism is totally fair like there are a fuckton of tone indicators and sometimes . there really dont need to be. and the abbreviations can be confusing i try to type out ones that arent s srs or j. tho i feel like most of the newer ones were popularized on twt so itmakes sense they wouldnt be written all the way out

like i think my prolem is when theres SO many and theyre redundant. i found a carrd with a fuckton of them that im gonna comment on To entertain myself sorry

like these 3 all feel redundant .. why do u need a different tone tag for Mostly joking than Half joking ? or for a Coping joke ? just use /j or combine with with like, /neg or something to get the tone across yknow? and /ji - first of all looks like /ij (inside joke), second of all why not just use /j

and like. why half serious or mostly serious or not serious when /j or /hj exist ? why /ns when it looks so similar to /nsrs, which means the opposite ? ive been using /s since like 2015 and /srs since like 2018 so ivegot those down and dont confuse them but i see why could be for some one who hasnt used them b4, why make it more complicated?

i like /g or /gen in theory- ppl have said its confusing bc gen could be general which i get, but for ppl familiar w tone tags tend to know what it means. genq is one ive used just bc. its fun to type tbh. and i think ppl get what it means but its not really Necessary. BUt genep and genc feel unnecessary when /g and /srs exist, and /gene is just, a word. that's just a word ! 😭

ojh my god. i should do a tone indicator tier list

as you can see my adhd meds are working

/nbr is funny bc half the time when some1 says theyre not being rude they definitely are. also there's already /g /srs and /lh. /nm is either helpful or deeply confusing Bc i try to take it at face value but sometimes i see it and im like. Why would i be mad ? and i start overthinking. but thats a me problem

i like this one i use it when i complain a lot Bc i dont want ppl to think im vagueing them i just love complaining

i love these ones. tone indicators for Being Mean To Someone. dunno if its on this list but ive seen /pa and /sbh (/passive aggressive & /somebody here, respectively) which is SO funny. i dont think theyre helpful really though except /neg Bc again. these all mean very similar things !!! why not just clarify extra things with a parenthetical

THESE R ALL THE SAME TONE !!! why not jsut use one single tone indicator for this !!! or none at all and just type the word !!!

need /nfl on a shirt in the aro colors so poeple know im not fucking interested in them. that aside. 1. whywould u need this ever !!! why not use again just /j if necessary.and 2. isnt the nfl a football thing

these r similar but i do like them, i think typing out a whole word again is a better solution so u dont have to scavenge google for the meaning but i think its helpful to clarify this and isnt synonymous with /j or /s or /lh

i think these ones are almost all just from the op's discord server or w/e, i won't bash that cuz if it works for them it works, that being said i dont think This many tone indicators for these types of things r helpful outside of that specific context yknow? also, /fx is really funny

ok i wont say that typing tics dont exist bc tics can be complex and vary by situation etc so im sure they can, but is that happening That much that u need a tone tag for it ? and also like. for /unin just delete the msg or say "oops sent too early hang on" or smth.. and as for vocal stim. first of all why is it /vt ? and second of all . why ... would u need that to type out ? bc if ur vocal stimming that would be. out loud? i.e. not in a chat where youre typing ???????@????>?,//???? BAFFLING. also in what situation is /gib necessary i genuinely cant think of one

ANYWAY.

None of this is to rag on tone indicators (/genuine) i think they can be helpful + i am always being gensrs when i use them. i just think some r a little silly & a lot from longer lists are unhelpful Bc theyre supposed to make communication Easier and Clearer + haveing So many tone indicators with Different Implied Tones WITHIN the indicators !!! makes it harder imo. bc if theyre to clarify tone why should i have to fight for my life deciphering why someone went from /mj to /hj yknow.

like this is all my Opinion and imsure these r all helpful for Someone otherwise they wouldnt exist but i rly feel like the system could be condensed a bit yk.

do i have a system in mind to suggest here ? well.

(also. this whole post is /genuine, /lighthearted, /not upset, and /not passive aggressive. and a bit /silly)

#text

[dani-ya-dig]

THE ABIGAIL VIDEO!!! I HAVEN’T TALKED ABT MY WIFE!

Ok so like chronological order bc I have listened to the audio like a million times at this point lmao. And I WILL talk abt it bc everyone needs to be obsessed with this channel like I am it’s SO GOOD GUYS PLS I SWEAR!!! Kk

Glenwood’s magic is doing its thing, and I’m really glad that plot point keeps getting brought up. Like ofc right now most of us are definitely more focused on the romance between Abby, Wielder, and Rose (which same. Love my ladies) but also like HELLO??? Abigail, a nonwielder, was the first person to really think there was something behind how strange glenwood was! And she is actively trying to investigate it (with Wielder and maybe Rose), and now she has even more resources for that!!! Like I just love that Miss Castle is making sure we don’t forget abt this bc I think abt it all the time.

Abby knowing her mom was gonna get on her ass about buying shelves from Amazon rather than thrifting some >

Abigail apologizing every time she swears in the voicemail >>>>>

Also I wonder how far away Abby lives from her family now? She obviously misses them a whole lot regardless of how far away they are, but it makes me wonder if they are just like the next state over, or if this is an across the country situation. (Aka, Dani is desperately trying to figure out where Glenwood would be geographically so I can get more info). I think Rose mentioned something about her flying??? Unless I made that up. But if I didn’t that would mean her family is likely too far for Abby to be able to warrant driving there.

Abby telling her mom about her channel even if she doesn’t fully understand makes me wanna cry. ITS SO CUTE GUYS I SWEAR!!! imagining Abby sending pics of her streaming setup to her mom is fucking adorable and if you don’t see it idk what to tell you.

Also the audible cringe in Abby’s voice as she prepares herself for the knowledge that she would have to deal with everyone asking why she didn’t being a date to the wedding. So Harper coded lmao.

Maybe not a plus one… but a plus two???

“And they’re…. hah mom they’re really cool” IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM!!! THE WAY HER VOICE WENT ALL SOFT IM COSBSOXSBHDKDKCJC GOD IM SO GAY HOLY SHIT

“Please don’t play this for Sammy, when he comes back home, please Ma…” makes me giggle so hard because yeah, that sums up what having older siblings is like exactly, if you slip up once they will NEVER let it go

It makes me so fucking happy to hear Abby going all soft talking about how she had made a home in Glenwood, and how she feels safe with Wielder and Rose. Especially after she has dealt with not feeling like she fits in and, no doubt, bullying for most stages of her life. I’m just really happy to see the silly little gay people talking in my headphones get to be happy.

I NEED WIELDER AND ROSE TO MEET ABBY’S FAMILY ASAP! I know that they would both just be so overwhelmed with love from Abby’s (most likely) massive family. Rose especially would be so flustered from all the attention and love, having not come from a home that gave that love freely and unconditionally. It would probably be so refreshing for her. I KNOW Abby’s mom is gonna be feeding all of them well, too!

OMG IMAGINE!! Abby’s mom doing the usual embarrassing family stuff like pulling out baby pictures, and telling embarrassing stories, and Abigail obviously red in the face but still taking it on the chin until her mom pulls out the voicemail that Abigail had sent her when she first moved to Glenwood and all of them lose their shit in very different ways. Abigail is embarrassed beyond belief, Rose is also flustered from the “going at it” bit, and Wielder can’t stop laughing hysterically.

UGH ITS A NEED! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

#castle audios #castleaudios #castle audios Abigail #castle audios Abby #castleaudios Abby #castleaudios Abigail #castleaudios library trio #castle audios library trio

[dearweirdme]

i’m sending this to a few tk blogs bc i’d like multiple people’s perspectives…

im a taekooker but i rlly have these moments where i think we all must just be deluded (jkkers, tkkers, other shippers etc) bc everyone believes SO strongly that their ship is right and we all feel like we can back it up w “evidence”. jikookers genuinely see something btwn jm and jk and us taekookers genuinely see something between v and jk. i do feel like taekook makes the most sense logically (especially during the solo era) and i feel like i did a lot of research to come to that conclusion (including watching videos on a lot of other pairings like jikook), but i could rlly just have underlying biases that are making me see things between tk that my brain wants to see. to other shippers and fans tkkers r insane, to tkkers others r insane. so honestly aren’t we probably all insane lol ? ik it’s POSSIBLE that tk are together but it just seems so improbable. i often try to talk myself out of taekook bc like rly what r the chances of two members in the biggest band in the word actually secretly dating for like many years ? and they’ve been able to successfully hide it all this time ? and we believe they still are together ? idk it sounds too good/far-fetched to be true and like i can’t imagine a day coming way later on down the line where it would actually be confirmed or like super super obvious even without confirmation. but i can totally imagine a day where it comes out that jk is officially dating some girl or something like that and then we’d all be proven wrong. ik that leans into assuming heterosexuality is the default which is not good and i don’t believe that but i can’t help but to feel like nah we’re all just delusional and fantasizing and tk r not together. i do definitely believe v is queer in some way but maybe that’s all.

Hi anon!

I think it's important to realize that it's okay to not actually believe in Tae and Jk being together (or any ship for that matter). Them being together or not does not actually effect your own life. So if you're in a state of "well, I definitely see some stuff going on, but I have no clue what it is exactly" that's totally fine. Uncertainty isn't a bad thing, you just have to be able to cope with it in a healthy way. Sometimes uncertain shippers do not know how to cope with the uncertainty very well, those are the ones who scrutinize every detail of every moment we get.. trying to find proof. I get it, but it's not the way to go, because that uncertainty will always return and you'll end up in a loop with no end. I think there's people that get actual anxiety because of this at times.

I know to non-shippers we (and other shippers) must all look insane. I don't think we actually are. Even though there are insane-ish tkkrs out there, that doesn't mean there can't be some truth to it as well. When you look around on twitter, youtube, instagram, Tumblr, you find all sorts of different Tkkrs. While we all fall under the term 'Taekooker' i'd say there's many different categories, which very different outlooks on the situation. For instance, technically I'd rather call myself a Taekook believer, while I suppose you are an actual shipper. There's also those that believe, but do not ship.

I'll tell you my reasons for not thinking I'm insane (😂😂). This sounds super stupid and arrogant (and I'm actually cringing while typing this up)... but I consider myself smart and insightfull. Have been all my life, and others have also told me they think of me the same. Basically, I trust my instincts and judgement. I've gone through life experiencing many different feelings, emotions, situations.. and I feel I just understand life and people. When it comes to Tae and Jk, I don't need all the overanalyzed stuff. I just see the way they look at each other and the way they interact and I feel I recognize romantic love there. I understand why it must seem 'too good to be true', but is it really? People so often fall in love with people they are in close proximity to. Coworkers falling in love isn't odd, best friends falling in love isn't odd, celebrities falling in love isn't odd... so why would Tae and Jk be the exception? It isn't even weird for two members in the same band to fall in love or be married... it is just odd to see two members of a K-pop band in love... but is the reason that it doesn't happen, or that it isn't made public?

When you look at celebrities that have come out, you will very often see that they as well have kept it a secret for many years. Idols are expected to keep their relationships hidden anyway, so for Tae and Jk this isn't very much different in that aspect, only there's an added reason. I don't think Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi, Hobi, and Jin have been single the last ten years.. and we know nothing of their relationships either.

I don't think their relationship has been easy and I expect there have probably been many difficulties along the way. But when I see how they are together this year.. I definitely think their love was stronger than the things that got thrown in their way.

I think it's good to be sceptical. I try to be as well.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

[lokilysolbitch]

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

#what the hell do i tag this #rambles #?? #uhhhhhh #sure okay #as usual #i didn't proofread this #handmadeorganicpost

[pepprs]

also btw back to all the building the courage to move out stuff. last night i stayed up late (lol) reorganizing my building-the-courage-to-move-out playlist so that the lyrics tell a chronological story abt what this journey has been like for me and it’s still kind of messy but im proud of it and strengthened by it. i feel like it’s cringe to share it but i want to in part bc it’s another accountability thing so yeah ermmm i hope if anyone chooses to listen to it you’ll take something away from the juxtaposition of it all. here are the different sections / chapters

independent accident (c418): instrumental opener with a relevant title bc i like to start chronological story playlists that way

when will my life begin (tangled) - much more (barbra streisand): describing my home situation. going from kind of innocently being like “hey what if i could be more independent” to “hey what if the dynamics in this house are crushing me slowly. i need to not be in this situation i have to move out”

every single night (fiona apple) - i want love (elton john): more concertedly looking at the state of my life / my mental health situation and realizing how much living here is the source of that and always has been. lol 🤪 and also trying to convince myself that i deserve better and building the courage to ask for it

bloodline / difficult things (orla gartland) - nothing changes (hadestown): telling my family (especially my mom) that im unhappy living at home and want to move out but it blows up in my face. i get guilt tripped / gaslit out of it and it’s agonizing but i entirely lose my ability to remember how much i need this and i accept defeat

the hurt of happiness (hey ocean) - tales of dominica (lil nas x): the headspace ive been in for the last year or two of being depressed out of my mind and sinking in quicksand and losing all sense of hope that i will ever become an independent adult and not live here <3

need 2 (pinegrove) - new person, same old mistakes (tame impala): the chapter (i hope) im in cureently of realizing like… hey. i do have the strength. i am an adult and i choose my life. i will do this and be strong and it will be very hard and destructive but it will be okay. (i feel like the song im currently “on” is new person, same old mistakes lol. where i know i need to do it but have my familys voices in my head telling me i can’t)

quiet (matilda) - goodbye yellow brick road (elton john): AUGHHHH the most emotional part of the playlist. every song in this section makes me want to cry and sometimes has. this is when i will finally build the courage to actually say im moving out and act on it for real and the absolute wound that is going to rip me open and destroy my entire world <3 i feel it all (feist) is the OK IM GOING TO DO IT NOW AND ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES song and tactics (japanese breakfast) is me like… actually beginning to tell my family. aughhhhh ahghhhh augghhhhhhh.

when will my life begin reprise (tangled) - wildewoman (lucius): the aftermath where im hopefully happy and thriving and growing into my independence! :~D

this playlist (which i made specifically abt my experience of moving onto campus in aug 2021) + this playlist (which is kind of a messy look at like.. learning how to drive and having experiences of independence etc etc) also overlap a lot with the last 3 bullet points so i need to go through them and add more songs to this one too lole. they’re not organized to tell a story iirc but they’re also worth a listen (maybe on shuffle) and those songs may change what this playlist looks like when i add them but yeah this is the playlist as of rn :~D thank u for reading / listening if u did i am going to be late for work now but it was worth it to type all of this up

#purrs #m*ving o*t tag #<- so i save this and remember the story i want to live in lole.

[wrongcaitlyn]

OKAY SO OW.

will got a little too real in this chapter 😍

THE ANGST THE ANGST AND THE WILL AND APOLLO FLUFF AND NICO BEING ANGRY/WORRIED AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

literally such a good chapter no i didn’t cry haha what are you speaking of????

so besides all of the sadness i have a very strange question but i overthink everything 😭 so sorry abt that, but i was just wondering cause i know nico has changed lyrics in his songs vrs the ones that are the actual irl songs (haunted having the “cause in your ghost right now your house is haunted” lyric instead of the regular ones) (plz tell me i’m remembering right) and this is actually such a nieche thing to think about but my question is because so many songs use the pet name “baby” in them and nico doesn’t seem like the type to use that (do they even have any nicknames for each other in tyt?) so. would he. a somehow just avoid it. b. use a different pet name c. i need to stop overthinking things because the original lyrics don’t all adhere to his songs. d. a secret fourth thing???

hopefully that makes at least some sense!

ty for another great chapter can’t wait until next week :D

HSJSJ im so glad you liked it bc it was an absolute horror to write!! yk sometimes you’ve got those scenes that you know have to happen, and they have to be written *perfectly* and so then you just stare at the doc for hours trying to figure out how the characters work

but on to the question! oh god. this is hard. see the thing is: i think it WOULD be in character for nico to say baby. i think he also says tesoro like in canon, and definitely sunshine, and maybe darling?

the thing is. i, personally, as a person, have a visceral HATRED of the word. and of pet names/nicknames in general. i don’t mind it in music, but whenever i try and write it into the fic, i just cringe and automatically backspace (this has absolutely nothing to do with people who actually use it as a term of endearment i just don’t know how to write it in without it sounding incredibly awkward or out of character)

so honestly, though, i think that nico is chill abt using it in a song, bc i feel like music honestly uses it more as filler? like, if you need to add a persons name, you’re obviously not gonna say their name (unless the song is hey stephen) so they just add in a pet name - most commonly baby

and i don’t think nico would have anything against that - id probably have to look through the playlists to see just how many times songs use the word, but i don’t think it’s that often

anyway my answer is that yes nico uses the word, i think that will started calling him babe at some point and nico just started using baby too but it’s much more rare and likely when he’s very tired/trying to convince will to do something (such as not work)

i think he prefers using something like darling in his songs (or maybe i’ve just been listening to too much hozier but that’s neither here nor there) but he doesn’t stray away from using the word if it fits well

and he probably uses more terms of endearment in real life than i’ve included (though will def uses them more often, and nico probably refrains from using pet names in front of other ppl) but i just hate writing them so much im sorry😭😭😭😭 i CANT i swear i tried to include a babe at some point in talk your talk and a sunshine but like the only thing slightly close to that that i ever left in a final draft was neeks. i can’t write pet names unless they’re said in a sarcastic or insulting mannerHSJDJ

thank you for the ask!!

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks