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nopaquelife-blog · 7 years

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A flying weekend

Thursday just gone I finally made my way down to London - a trip I had been anxiously anticipating since I last saw my love in Oxford a month before. We had booked an Airbnb; surprisingly we ended up with a really quaint, modern apartment hosted by this lovely french couple. It was simply the best, especially after the palaver with the initial host we’d booked with who seemed as if she was trying to mess us around. On Thursday, I met AK at Stratford Westfield where she was just finishing work. We grabbed a burger from GBK and talked for ages about home, and our relationships with family. It was a great catch up. Our friendship isn't made up of much texting to keep up with each other. There’s an occasional message to make sure the other is alive, or to arrange plans, but once we see each other the gates open and we talk about all sorts. It’s a nice, easy friendship.

We met CN in Hammersmith at a cafe not far from the station, and I was distracted knowing that the bae was on his way. Honestly, I wasn't even trying to keep up with the conversation, I was too caught up in what he would be wearing, what he'd smell like. The smile on his face when he'd see me. His lips when they finally re-unite with mine. Just re-writing that moment makes my eyes watery.

Bae arrives, AK leaves after a long day of working and entertaining me, and the trio of us left find a cute, scenic pub alongside the river with thoroughly middle class people from all corners of the world squished into a low-hanging bar and a 2 x 3m outdoors space. I liked it. Our table was next to the wall overlooking the river, and my seat faced it directly. Hammersmith bridge was on our left (Or was it called Putney bridge?).

Bae and CN have great, long chats that I like listening to, but sometimes can be tiring to keep up with. I love that they get on so well, because outwardly you wouldn't expect it. They’re like a house on fire, somehow always managing to entertain the other’s conversation. I guess it comes from wide reading and exposure when growing up, and I’m mostly envious. I wish I could remember the names, dates and places of significant events from History, and long random facts that are somehow always relevant. I feel shy to contribute. I don't speak as well as most people and I think I’ve grown into the occasional habit of not counting myself as an active participant in a conversation. I’m more of a listener. I don’t mind that, I love being able to learn from the people around me. But at some point surely they would realise I’m not saying much, and the conversation dies and suddenly I’m not so interesting anymore because I have nothing to say.

Friday was a pretty relaxed day, I met bae for his lunch break. It was not the best lunch, but Im not going to try and ignore why it happened. I need to make some changes in my life, which I have been in the process of doing. This blog was one of them. Creating an exercise routine was one. eBay, researching my dissertation. They are positive, proactive ways to spend my time, right. I want to improve my image, too. It would be easier if I had an actual job, that way I could spend money knowing I’d still be able to save. What hurt most from our lunch was that bae wasn’t feeling appreciated enough by me. I fucked up his birthday, and there is no excuse for that. I kick myself all the time because of that. I just wish I had been more prepared. Although the Chance tickets were his early bday present, I guess it didn't count cos it was way before his bday and no one remembered it when his bday came. ): I need to learn when less is more and more is less. I don’t think I’ve figured out how to use that yet. We had a great time when he came back from work though. I knew everything he said he didn't mean to offend, even though it was sort of offensive. I still appreciated it though. He had asked me what I am always afraid of. Its only been three days but I’ve been asking myself that every time I begin hesitating. He’s right. I should just do things. Most of the time the worst outcome isn’t even bad.

Saturday I wore a bodycon dress with his shirt tied into a blouse. I got a lot of looks and glances that day. It felt funny. Ofc the dress was very figure hugging, and bae and I were being v loving and pda. It was a fun, bright day. We had lunch at a place called Megan’s, a super cute place where I had Shakshuka and bae had a beef burger. We both loved it and the waiter was so bubbly. We rode the Boris bikes too, and went around the many confusing streets of Fulham. We hung out at his brothers, at the apartment and bought some eggs for Sunday breakfast. Sunday came all too fast. We had our last meal in Brixton in this cool little caribbean diner where the food was halal too. I tried a bite of bae’s curry goat (it wasn’t too bad!) whilst I had the safe option of the veg roti.

I even did something risqué on the train home - I train hopped! I had paid for a super long journey as it was cheaper, but managed to hop between different lines and saved an hour of journey time. I got to leave at the time I wanted so me and bae could spend the day together and I got home before dark = everyone happy.

#personal #diary #things to remember #lessons i learnt

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