#he looks SO GOOD and this whole thng was so cute

[unlimitedskyeproductions]

100 Random Things About Blake Riley

(I got bored at 4 am so I wrote down some stuff about my OCs This is not the only 100 Random Things sheet that I have so that should warn you of what's to come) 1: his full name is Blake Riley Bates but he always goes by first and middle names rather than first and last 2: 25 years old 3: birthday is February 15th 4: born on a Saturday at 4:37 AM 5: blood type is O-Negative 6: he was involved in a public bombing by terrorists which left nore than 75% of his body completely mangled and destroyed so he had to be fixed up with robotic prosthetics and as a result he's super self-conscious about the fact that he's "not a complete human" 7: favorite color is, obviously, red 8: GAY AS FUCK but super subtle about it despite being way too flamboyant to be legal 9: LOVES FASHION 10: also loves shopping because like ;;;;; pretty clothes are awesome 11: loves roses and if you give him one he'll love you forever 12: he's generally pretty chill about shit but if you mess with someone he cares about then be prepared to get punched with a robot arm 13: he pretends he doesn't believe in supernatural stuff like ghosts but if he hears a weird noise in the middle of the night he'll probably want to move out the next morning 14: hates coffee but ironically loves coffee cake 15: always a little cold??? for some reason??? 16: he likes to poke people and make them shiver 17: likes being cuddled 18: LOVES spooning when he cuddles someone and he really doesn't care whether he's the big spoon or the little spoon as long as he's cuddling 19: really flirtatious and totally not shy about it like at all 20: he loves spoiling the people he loves and making them feel happy 21: he'll flirt with you all day if you let him but as soon as YOU start flirting with HIM he just becomes this dorky little blushing mess and it's adorable 22: WILL. FUCKING. NOT. stand for people insulting his physical appearance 23: loves peanut butter but not peanuts 24: he can't really swim all that well but he's very good at floating 25: like he can swim properly without drowning but just not all that gracefully (he looks like a fish out of water when he's in the water) 26: has a really weird obsession with snow globes??? he collects them and owns over 50 and they're all alphabetized 27: possibly a bit autistic but Nobody Really Knows For Sure 28: he's a fucking genius (seriously his IQ is fucking insane) 29: it's easy to turn him on but it's really hard to make him calm down afterwards 30: you could literally bump into him at a weird angle and there's a 50/50 chance he'll just randomly get a boner from that alone 31: when he gets going he'll kinda whine and try to flirt with you until you give in but in reality he'd never force you into something you don't feel like doing 32: if he happens to get riled up but has nobody who'll do anything about it (or just doesn't feel like it) he'll end up reading smutty novels all night 33: an incredibly passionate lover 34: he doesn't know the meaning of personal space and he'll just come up behind you for no reason and invade your space with hugs 35: he owns 23 pairs of shoes in total and 18 pairs of them have high heels 36: he's not really a blanket hog but if he goes to bed before you do you're sure as fuck not getting that blanket 37: loves spending time with kids (he really wants to be a daddy) 38: loves pickles for some reason 39: he will literally eat an entire jar of pickles all in one go and then drink the juice when he's done 40: he's really weird about people invading his personal space when he doesn't want them to 41:dO nOT tOUCH hIS hAIR wITHOUT cONSENT oR hE wILL sLAP yOU 42: always sings really shitty pop songs in the shower 43: he rarely watches anime ever at all but he fucking LOVES Sailor Moon 44: he went to a costume party one year before the "incident" and he literally dressed up like Sailor Mars 45: full miniskirt and everything and he looked fucking gorgeous???? but why wouldn't he honestly 46: his weakness is caramel and caramel chocolate and basically anything with caramel in it 47: he's not super clingy but he'll insist on really long hugs before leaving to go home or like do thngs (and I'm talking about super close full-body pressing against each other bear hugs for five minutes -minimum-) 48: he often has recurring nightmares about the "incident" and it's actually not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night crying 49: this happens anywhere between twice in four months to six nights per week for nearly a year 50: when this happens he requires lots of gentle cuddles and sweet words of reassurance that he's okay 51: he acts super flamboyant and sassy but in reality he's the most sensitive man you'll ever meet 52: it's super easy to hurt his feelings so please watch your tongue when you're around this sweet little redhead 53: it's totally not uncommon for him to just randomly start blasting Britney Spears on the stereo with the volume all the way up 54: loves wearing sexy lingerie and just feeling pretty 55: there's rarely a time when his nails aren't painted (never any color but red) 56: he's an expert at beer pong for some reason 57: also a master at bottle flipping and mario kart 58: has three sisters named Tanya, Sharon and Abigaile 59: he acts all pure and classy when in reality he owns a hardcover copy of 50 shades of grey and he's read it at least 30 times by this point 60: never goes anywhere without checking himself out in the mirror 5 times first 61: he has a really bad issue with never shutting up during movies 62: if he thinks of something funny to say he'll lean over and whisper it to whoever he's watching the movie with and this will happen every few minutes during the entre movie 63: he's a virgin but like????? he sure as fuck doesn't want to be at this age 64: SUPER fucking ticklish 65: worst spots are his sides and his stomach 66: he has a really sweet and pretty laugh, almost like music 67: he gets really smarmy whenever he starts tickling someone (sort of like he gets a rush outta teasing them) 68: he doesn't often start tickle fights but holy shit he'll fucking end them 69: generally always an uke rather than a seme 70: he's that one friend who'll come over to your house at 3 am because he made ramen noodles and wants to know if you want some 71: can play the violin and the piano beautifully 72: it's super easy to make him cry but he'll never actually cry in front of anyone, he'll just politely excuse himself from the room when he gets upset and go into a random room and sob his heart out until he feels better (quietly, of course) 73: has the mindset of "if you like me I'll let you bother me, but if I don’t like you then fuck off in a fire" 74: despite that he's super nice to everyone unless provoked 75: bacon is honestly his muse 76: he'll eat an entire pack of that shit for breakfast and he'd honestly eat more than a single pack if you let him 77: if you don't watch him carefully he'll wander off and go missing for the whole damn day, and when he comes back it's with an entire car full of shopping bags because guess what he went on aNOTHER fucking shopping spree 78: he's super high maintenance but at the same time he isn't??? 79: like he's just as excited with a super expensive jewelry gift as he is with a bag of burgers from McDonald's 80: he's weird like that 81: he'll pretty much eat anything he can get his hands on and his metabolism is scarily high so he never gains any extra weight despite the fact that if he didn't have that high metabolism he'd honestly be like 400 pounds at this point because he loves food and can't control himself 82: loves cute things 83: also loves soft and fluffy things 84: always wants to dress up his friends in cute clothes and do their hair (and their makeup if they're girls) 85: his parents have no idea he's gay but his sisters do and they're very supportive of him 86: his dad is a super strict military man so like????? He's Fucking Terrified To Tell Him 87: there's honestly never a time where he doesn’t want to go shopping 88:  you could call him at 6 am and be like "hey there's an awesome new shoe store that just opened" and he'd be pounding on your door not even fifteen minutes later like "BITCH GET YOUR COAT WE'RE GOING SHOE SHOPPING" 89: despite everything he's actually really super shy and it's really hard for him to talk to people and make friends 90: but once he trusts you he relaxes and he's able to act like himself 91: loves flowers 92: he's absolutely insufferable when he gets sick but at the same time he also apologizes profusely for being so snappish 93: once spent an entire night chained to a radiator 94: he never talks about it but he's made it very clear that he was NOT kidnapped 95: he may or may not own a whip and a tazer 96: for practical use only, of course 97: loves sweets and candy 98: when he gets excited he acts like he has ADHD and can't focus on anything 99: probably knows the lyrics to every Lady Gaga song by heart 100: in general he's a great guy and a loyal friend

#unlimitedskyeproductions #blake riley #oc info #i did this instead of sleeping

[valerie]

TWITL - week thirty-three - smoky skies

New Post has been published on https://kiari.com/2021/08/twitl-week-thirty-three-smoky-skies/

TWITL - week thirty-three - smoky skies

I just noticed that my WordPress is publishing to my Livejournal again. Well, it posted my previous post. Will it do the same for this one? We shall see… I had randomly clicked on the link to my LJ and was surprised to see my latest post. As I scrolled, I saw that my last post at LJ was for week FIVE. I don’t think anyone reads my LJ anymore but I like to crosspost to it because I have a permanent account and might as well use it, I say!

This whole week has been skies filled with smoke. The rising sun has been that orange hue most morning and we had a few days of that Mad Max/post apocalyptic tinge. It didn’t help that it was rather warm too. Alas.

TV

Brand New Cherry Flavor (Netflix) – We finished this show over the weekend. It was so WEIRD but entertaining. It felt a bit half cooked in parts but the performances were great. I sometimes think I’m not one for horror but I find that I do watch some of it in certain instances. This show is definitely not for everyone and is most certainly for adults…

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+) – The last episode we watched was the Christmas one and as always, that show is just a heart squeezer. I really enjoy it even though it’s never a show where I feel like I must watch when the latest episode drops. Does that make sense?…

What If…? (Disney+) – Two episodes in and I��m really enjoying this one. The second episode with T’Challa was so uplifting yet I couldn’t help feeling that melancholy at hearing Chadwick Boseman’s voice. I don’t think I’ve even watched Black Panther since he died though I’ve seen him in the other Marvel movies where he appears…

Kung Fu (HBO Max/CW) – We watched something like six episodes in one day! Then, looking at the list of episodes, realized that we’re missing episode ten and eleven. Maybe it was just a glitch? Otherwise, who the heck are we supposed to watch those episodes?!… I LOVE watching movies/shows featuring Asians, especially Asian Americans. But I do resist watching them sometimes too. I think part of me just doesn’t want to be disappointed. Well, I’m not disappointed by Kung Fu. It’s very well done with rounded characters and an interesting plot. It’s also a bit “CW” with the focus on the pretty and youthful but that’s a tale as old as time. It’s a fun show and as much as they say they’re in San Francisco, I know they’re not but let’s pretend. I do love how they drop names of real life cities in the Bay Area even if the places look nothing like the places they mention…

MOVIES

Reminiscence (in theatres/HBO Max) – Hugh Jackman, Rebecca Ferguson, and Thandiwe Newton star in this movie. It was a moody piece, with a noir flavor. I liked it but I totally understand the less than favorable reviews it’s likely gotten. I think because the song “Where or When” also plays a big part in the movie, I became mesmerized by the movie. It felt a lot like Inception but mostly in the look. I was comfortable in the world created that I gave a pass for the slow bits in the movie. I guessed a couple of the plot points which of course delighted me but also bummed me because I like to be more surprised by such things. After the movie ended, I was glad to have watched it but definitely glad that I didn’t spend the money to see it in the movie theatre. So take that as you will…

FANGIRL STUFF

Ben Barnes – How can I say someone I’ve known about since STARDUST snuck up on me? Such is life of a fangirl, I suppose. On Friday, his 40th birthday, he announced his upcoming EP, Songs for You, as well as the first single, “11:11,” which will be released in September. He shared a snippet of the video and is it too soon to say I’m already in love with the song? I find it super interesting that he has a song called “11:11” when one of my other favorites (Tyler Rich) has a song called “11:11.” What are the chances?

We’ve got 2 Broke Girls on the loop now, which means when we have the tv on and we’re not actively watching something, we just click on 2 Broke Girls and let it play. Well, the hubby clicks play on that show. I usually switch and click on The Big Bang Theory. I’ve watched most of 2 Broke Girls but on this third run (I think we’re on our third loop), I happen upon eps I hadn’t seen. We’ve gotten to the Randy episodes, which means lots of Ed Quinn, usually shirtless. I would say it’s ridiculous how topless he is on the show but then that might sound like complaining, which I assure you I am NOT.

I took a picture of the tv when Ed was on the party bus and I posted it to IG story and tagged him, of course. It made me giggle when he reposted it to his IG story. So cute.

TECHIE THNGS

I really like my phone. Dare I say I love it? I love the battery life, the photos it takes, the great quality of video it shoots. I love the design, the color (Pacific Blue), the solid feel of it in hand. It’s great phone and the best one I’ve ever had and I’m perfectly satisfied that it’ll be my phone for next couple of years.

But lo, how interesting are the foldables right now? Yes, the Samsung Galaxy Z Fold3 5G (what a mouthful) is super cool as unfolds into a small tablet. It looks like they definitely improved that outer display. But for me, my eyes and longing focus on the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip3 5G. It is The One that could have made me try Android again. If that phone had come out last year when I was in the market for a new phone, I might have jumped ship and gone for that Flip. I wish I knew someone who had one so that I could touch it and play around with it for a bit. It feels like the days of going to the store for some hands on time with devices are long gone.

I like watching tech review videos so here are a couple reviewing the Z Flip3:

I like TheUnlocker’s videos because he uses the device in a regular day while showing us the sights and sounds of New York.

And of course, always enjoy Michael Fisher (MrMobile) and his reviews. His enthusiasm for foldables makes me want one.

RANDOM MUSINGS

We had our CPN Zoom chat on Saturday night. It’s always so great chatting with my friends. I was jealous of this month’s Universal Yum’s box. Everything sounded so yummy!

Here’s to a good week. Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Wear your mask. And hey, get that vaccine that was just approved by the FDA. Please.

#ben barnes #movies #tech freak chick #tv #TWITL

[princesiddie]

I can't draw the shark husband tho I try and its frustrating, Anyways on the subject: Imagine Sidon is playing with a child since they insisted he promised they'd play catch. Link, being the admiring boyfriend draws his lil sharko. Sidon walks over and smiles, his shadow catching Links attention. He gives the classic dorky grin and tilts his head and asks what is he doing and Link blushes and hides it and Sidon is like 'did I do something??' Only to find it later and gives a small 'oh' - Noodle

is ok pal i Cannot draw eitherbut lonk .,is a bomb ass artist man he likes 2 doodl everything man its a littl bit due to his Big Issue w his memory n how lowkey paranoid he is abt putting things down elsewhere Just In Case his memory spectacularly fails him again n like papers p hard to come by in reality n most thngs he can jst take pictures of on hs sheikah slate but he Likes the act of drawing so if he buys a bundle of arrows he’ll like save the wrapping so he cn draw stuff on it n eventually someone (mayb sidon after he sees link scribbling on the bloody paper from a package of meat he just bought) gets him like ana actual notebook fr hm to put all hs drawings in so hes not lugging around 3828494993 loose scraps of paper (all of which he hold very dear and thusly CanNot drop or lose) n once shit calms down a lot ie hyrules not In The Process of dying he starts drawing a lot more !! n its not so much so he remembers which mushrooms are or arent poisonous really but bc he jst likes drawin !! n he starts drawing ppl n dogs n horses n shit (he has a coupl lynel drawings bc They All Try To Kill Me But They Look Like Cats Sidon What If They Were Just Horse-Cats And Didnt Try To Kill Me Sidon Theyd Be Cute) and hes uhhhhh a Really Good Artist all hs drawings r rly rly rly good he has tht Special art style where his shits Realistic but also Cuter than real life n uhh since links Gay™ he draws sidon A Lot but he doesnt show them to him ever bc hes afraid he’ll think theyre bad ?? or something ??? or maybe hes just a Shy Gay who knows but u kno sometimes u jst Gotta Draw n watching sidon play catch w a cute little kid was One Of Those Times so link was like I Gotta and he was so focused on it he didnt notice sidon approach until his shadow was fully on top of him and he heard hm ask what he was drawing that was so engrossing and then link was all “‼️” and slammed his notebook to his chest and blushed bright ass red and shook hs head rly hard and signed not finished n sidon was like “…?” but he didnt push it or anythin n he ws lowkey confused fr the rest of the day n then tht afternoon link fell asleep on hs bed (Sleepy Boy) and sidon noticed tht his notebook was beside all his stuff n he remembered how link had been Unusually Protective of it the whole rest of the day n sidon briefly worried about invading links privacy and then carefully opened it n he flipped thru it n marveled gayly @ how good an artist hs bf was n then finally got to th drawing frm earlier and then he got all gay and blushy bc it was a Bomb Ass drawing n link had clearly put a lotta time and shit into it n then hs face warmed up n he quietly mumbled “oh” bc WHY HIS BF SO PRECIOUS

#asks #🍜

[awokencynosure]

Eurovision - second semi-final - my thoughts

Serbia: I like it but it blends in too easily with the rest, doesn’t stand out enough. :/  Austria: not that convinced by the song but he’s like an actual puppy, so happy to be there :D It’s a ‘different’ song for ESC though, which I do think will give him an edge. Macedonia: it’s like they didn’t put her microphone loud enough, hard to hear over the background voices? Aside from that I do like the song and believe it’s gonna be one of those very good for multifandom vids. Yep, good. Malta: balad, again doesn’t stand out enough. Also the breathlessly-endlessly thing is somehow ennerving me, writing wise.  She’s doing a fantastic job singing live though. Romania: Well ya gotta give it to them, they do stand out. I’m not rooting for em to win because the yodeling on the radio all the time is going to SEVERELY ennerve me, but they took a risk and it’s not at all like the rest so they get points for that. Put them in a disney movie and I’ll probs ship em cause looks. Also, I want that dress. Background graphics look ridiculous though... ready for a kids channel. Wait did they just... bring in silvery canons? Really? Netherlands: Outfit-wise they really beat ours, especially that glittery bodysuit looks great. Also the whole harmonising thing works well. Song itself doesn’t convince me though, feel like with a more catchy song they’d have severely upped their chances on winning Eurovision. Hungary: It sounds good but I cannot make out a word he’s saying which presumably will make him less likely to win in this day and age of Eurovision? Still, sounds good! Has a good rythm to it and stands out because it sounds authentic somehow. Denmark: She’s a really good singer, like the song but dosn’t stand out enough for me to go YES that one! Ireland: he looks cute (in a puppy way) but I’m not convinced by his voice. Yes, it sounds frail and all but I like his ‘normal voice’ (deeper) better? All in all, that’s the thng though, deeper voice I’d have liked this better. But still, definitely not a favourite due to the song. San Marino: I just don’t like it. It looks like it came about 40 years too late to  be a huge hit. ESPECIALLY when they start talking to each other is kinda weird? Not convinced :/ Croatia: dunno why but he looks like such a nice guy? Precious little snowflake? He sounds a lot more convincing in his own language than in English, but I just don’t like the song. Violins tho. Norway: PLUSPOINTS for the masks. The song is not convincing me most of the time though which is too bad because I like the show-graphics and the beat a lot.- okay it grows on ya though (listening again now at the overview bit) Switzerland: I just don’t like the song at all. Girl can sing though. Also the stairs are a bit much, and I’d be really woried about falling in those heels if I were her.  Belarus: She looks really beautiful. And again, don’t understand a word but I really like it somehow? There’s something to it that makes me wanna dance to it and that’s always a plus. Also ike the chosen background graphics. Also if this is Belarus’ version of folk music I like it better than our country’s folk music.  One of my (unlikely) faves of the night. Bulgaria: FAVE. That’s just beautiful and ethereal. Shivers. I’d be so okay with this winning. Also the monochrome 3D background graphics work extremely well. Lithuania: Not my style, doesn’t seem complete somehow, refrain is okay though. Don’t like her sometimes  ‘chopped’ way of singing.  Estonia: Accent shines through but only at the start. The panning back to his face was cool the first time but eventually just VERY soap opera like. Also his big smile doesn’t make sense with the song or I didn’t get the meaning properly.  Again, decent but definitely not wow. Israel: Okay, I shall not be distracted by a pretty face but I’m not gonna deny he’s damn easy on the eyes. Ugh, this is gonna make me biased. Also boy can sing pretty well and I like the song, has a good beat. Although the dramatic looking at the camera and the winky thing was a bit weird. Okay the instrumental bit kicking in at the end (no idea what instrument that is) makes this one of my second fave of the night. (I just really like Bulgaria, can’t beat that).

#ESC2017

[isaacathom]

ok this is actually a fun bit of writing here, even if the preceding shit was kinda garbage

tl;dr this bitch has to rant about this stupid book because i naively want to learn something about my family’s history and this is the only fucken way to do it

‘When he discovered he had to work to help provide for this instant family of a large flock of children, ‘Mick’ showed his true self and devotion to the family.

Within a year of the marriage, he left the fold, leaving his wife to fend for herself in the daunting task of raising her children.’

like.aside from just being kinda awkwardly worded (he bangs On and On about how his mum was the 11th of 11 children like fuck i get it its a big family, holy shit) i think thats just. a good concept there. the space really sells the punch. wouldve been better if we hadnt been told beforehand that Mick was a cunt, yknow. but thats nice

also lets keep going. ‘6 step brothers and 4 step sisters’ theyre actually her Half Siblings. they all share the same mother. theyre related. she’d be step if she was adopted, which she was not, because if she were, surely we wouldve been told about those circumstances.

‘[his mother] easily met that high standard as she was a very pretty young lady’ please dont perv out over your fucking mother you pig of a man. also you would hope ‘jock’ (his name is fucking robert but ok, Jock) was interested in more than how pretty Nellie was when they got together, right......... like there had to be more to it. am i naive? perhaps

‘scottish clan gordon’ the what. but we arent gordons???? are you. are you hundred percent sure. are you positive about this. are you sure thats why your name is gordon. alright buddy

‘according to buzzy’s story’ please never refer to yourself in the third person

‘hotels rarely burn down’ ?? i dont buy that at all. my guess is this famous hotel (which.... you didnt name so ok)

ok so theres a picture in here of my dad standing at some random gate, and he says its the same gate as a picture of his dad..... where is THAT picture??? this picture means nothing without that historic context, and it feels hollow if the actual picture isnt there.

granddad you dont. you dont need to wikipedia article dump me information about glasgow??? i mean sure, cool, id rather just be reading the wikipedia article.

jesus christ. so hes talking about his dad, right. who he’d technically set up earlier by saying he came to melbourne at 19. before he launched into a whole thng about his mother and shit. and suddenly hes come back to his dad to explain that his dad (so gordons grandfather) used to beat him! and its like, wOAH, where the fuck did that come from??? shit dude. thats rough. but he just mentions it suddenly out of nowhere. oH JESUS actually. sorry. i misread (yknow, because its written like shit). he means.... his brother??? right, he means his Brother Robert, was beaten by his dad, also named Robert, who was the one who came to melbourne aged 19. ok. ok that makes slightly more structural sense but ooof. ouch. poor robert (the younger). in my uh, defence, this book is written awful and i've never met robert? (my.... understanding is that he probably died before i was born? like with mary, who i dont recall having met either)

ok uhhh ‘most of the gorbal’s tenemenets were eventually demolished by the wise founding fathers many decades later, in the 1980s’ the WHOM. this isnt fucking america, this is scotland, what in the actual fuck are you TALKING about????????????????????????????? ‘modern day replacement improvements and architecture designed to achieve, what?’ fucker they were trying to fix the mistake they made in crowding 90k people into the fucking gorbals. maybe they didnt succeed (they didnt) but they were trying, it was naivete rather than fucking malice, you bitter old fuck. like, you visited in the 1980s.... and published this book in 2007......... without thinking to check back......... like hey maybe theyve gotten better? (newsflash - they fucking have) sooo... fuck

‘could the [my family] be related? [to the mcdonalds]’ yes??? we literally are. theres no question of that. being a sept of clanranald, we are Literally related to the fucking macdonalds. you absolute buffoon. yea its distant, and maybe thats your point, but when combined with you launching into this giant diatribe about rhw Campbells for shit that happened long ago, it seems youre picking and choosing how close ‘related’ is. we are. literally. related to the macdonalds. also it wasnt thought up in glasgow, they were from fucking new hampshire. but sure. 

‘his sheila wife of his’ excuse me?

‘so the name was related to a buzzing bee i suppose’ ? i still dont get it. like, he then explains that apparently his twin sister had difficulty saying Brother, so she called him Buzzy. that makes sense to me. i can understand that. but the buzzing bee thing? not sure i follow, given the prior context he provided. i dont get it. this is written like garbage. theres no structure. we went from jumping forward in time to the birth of my uncle Dale (my dads older brother) and suddenly we’re talking about Mick’s running career and gordon’s childhood! what the fuck happened.

‘coupled with the bigoted attitudes that were rife during those periods’ says the man who got angry at a black (i THINK, mightve been a separate story)  frenchman who couldnt speak english in France because ‘we saved them’. fuck off. youre just like them, you old codger.

also hes decrying his grandfather mick for being ‘no true irishman’ even though micks dad was full irish? by that exact same metric i can call my grandfather no true scotsman, because his dad is full scottish and thats it!!! you fucking fool. no true irishman, holy shit, how little self awareness could this man have.

‘then excessive drinking liquor isnt for me’ but is Is for your wife, is it gordon??? drinking wine when shes on antibiotics??? fucking incredible. god theyre. theyre so stupid.

‘not proceeding as a scholar as i could have’ you literally admitted like 5 pages ago that your twin sister was Far smarter than you, but sure! ~scholar~. if you were meant to be a scholar surely you wouldve bounded back from missing days with a vengeance. youre talking complete tosh.

im confused why theyd be doing bombing drills in South Yarra.... in preparation from a japanese air raid.... like im sorry, if the people north are doing their jobs, theres no physical way they couldve gotten to south yarra....... but ok. thats not his fault i just think thats strange.

im 110 pages in and he hasnt actually gotten to the point where he meets eleanor??? aside from a few time jumps forward and a brief mention of ‘meeting her in a milk bar in south yarra’ so like. hoi vey? the fuck.

oh jesus thats. thats a heavy thing to just chuck in the middle of a sentence??? like ‘oh yea after Skete the next scout leader was a paedophile who abused me and the others’ wwwOooahhh there buddy back up. what???? holy shit. ouch. thats. thats rough.

‘absolutely belted this poofta bastard’ yknow what? fair. id also beat the fuck out of a pedo with my boot. thats Relatable. good going on that, i suppose.

ooh thats full third person, weird.

one thing that is definitely kinda interesting, and very telling about his relationship with his family, is that he only ever refers to Nellie as ‘mum’, but refers to Mick as, well, Mick! rather than ‘granddad’ or anything of the sort. like its just sorta interesting when you get this big family photo and Nellie is the only one not called by her first name.

‘returning to those earlier days’ NO! FUCKING MOVE FORWARD IN TIME YOU GIT!!!! holy shit i just want to read about new fucking shit.

......... so like, at some point while playing footy, an opposing player kicked him in the leg and caused a fractured tibia. so a few weeks later... one of gordons friends took a mark on that player and kneed him straight in the head, with that player never playing again. and he’s PROUD of that!!! he’s proud of his friend for ruining a guys footy career. like yea, the guy was a dick, he broke your leg and it was at least partially malicious, but like........... you fucked him up????? hardcore?????? a straight up ruination. but go off i guess.

its interesting that he doesnt go even remotely into eleanors history beyond the fact (so far) that her father Leo didnt say much but was a good dude. then again the books all about him soooo fuck it i suppose.

‘recognition of our scottish heritage’ eleanor isnt scottish tho. shes irish. shes an o'donoghue. what the fuck. like yea naming them dale and glen is a ‘clever’ nod back to scotland (i actually do think thats cute and clever, joking aside. its the exact sort of ‘clever’ shit i love pulling) but............. shes not scottish. unless we’re waiting for volume 2 all about eleanor.

hE USED TO LIVE OUT HERE??????? IN SPRINGVALE????? fuck me. no fucking wonder we live here, huh, jesus. that. certainly explains something, i suppose. like ‘if you were raised in holbrook and YOU were raised in thomastown, why do we live in knox?’

OHHHHH HERES THE FRENCH THING!!!! OHHHH HERES ONE OF THE FRENCH THINGS. OH BITCH behold

so granddads being a dick, as usual, and he’s on some tour in paris. and the tour guide launches into a long thing about the glory of france, like french history and the fighting record, etc. and granddad calls out and tells him to knock it off, because ‘our australians died by the thousands for your country’

i. eh... uhh............... is he. is he aware? of how many french people died???? for france?????? how many????? il tell you how many - apparently 1.44% of the total population of france. thats 600000 people. how many did we lose? around 35k. thats, uh, a smaller fucking number. than the amount of french people. who died. for fucking france. you fucking idiot.

it kills me. is he gonna include the french speaking one too???

oh hell that sure is a picture of my father. good heavens. holy shit my brother really does look like him. thats uncanny, man.

‘one son Scotty’ his name is Scott, actually. not scotty. but cool, i got a really small shout out, weirdly BEFORE my older cousins did???? oh dear is he gonna talk about my uncles divorce actually. oh god. thats. thats terrifying to consider. oh, cool, he didnt in that small section, hopefully it doesnt come up haha (i can only IMAGINE what sort of vile shit he’d say about cathy)

also, ooh, more nuggets on grandma’s family. her dad was a freemason! thats cool.

ooh! he was the president of holbrook shire council! thats kinda neat actually.

ooh! the glenndale motel actually still exists! thats cool as hell. not that granddad told me that i just googled it

OHHH ITS THE FUCKING FRENCH SPEAKING STORY OH MY GOD

Ok first off ‘i slammed my fist into the counter and said very calmly’ yea no fuck that, youre fucking lying. theres no way you slammed the counter and spoke calmly. you almost definitely abused this poor french metro worker who, being a French Man living in France, is not required to know english. you fucking babboonnnnnnnnnn

apparently he nearly fell off a mountain innnnnn geeermany? austria, austria. and as he mentions my dad pulling him back up, he words it as ‘stopping me from falling to my final destiny’ what fucking wording IS that. my god.

uh well ok thats. about it i suppose. there was a big hullabuloo about like, hotels and shit, and there was probably some racism about Islanders in there (like i find it hard to believe there wasnt but im not gonna go back and double check, because this book reads like absolute garbage). but eh. yea?

uuhhh so that was an Adventure, for sure

#long post #book liveblog #theres no like tags for this its just me reading a stupid fucking memoir my granddad wrote with 0 fucking oversight #half of it is almost definitely inaccurate or straight up incorrect. the rest is just poorly written and structured #ike it was a chore to get through because my eyes just bounce off the page because it reads like how I fucking type on the internet #but without any intent! my shit grammar is at least supposed to convey fuckin. speech patterns or something #his writing is just poorly thought out and hasnt been edited in the slightest and its just Disgusting my guy

[horrible-monstrosity]

17 We open with friendly neighborhood dumbass Akko studying studiously, sitting on a bench in a sunny grassy field which she ignores in favor of a massive stack of books like the bookworm Lottie only sort of is, while redhead side witch bitches about dropping out of school because she's just too cool. An... interesting entrance into the episode, to be sure.

Redhead turns herself into a dashing boys' school student. ..... Did the spell make her grow bollocks

"even though no one's asking you?" is a pretty weird way to ask someone about their dream. I don't think anyone asked redhead to become a broomdancer, or robots girl to become robots, or... anyone to do anything they just wanted to do. and again, she has already accomplished what she says she wants to do- the yeti, in the next episode robert girl, the fairy strike... this show does not know what it has done or what it's doing.

... Wait, are they really here to just fucking steal the grail from the school? why? I've already forgotten why they wanted it, and why petty theft by a couple of randos is so easily accepted as a method of getting it back. Are there no witch authorities who might have wanted in on this? Later redhead says it "belongs" to the guys' school as a way to deflect explaining how it works... shrugg

Have I mentioned yet that I like the supporting trio more than the main three? I could probably write a whole fucking essay on that. All three of them are straight-up archetypes... but that alone is enough to make them at least basically functional as characters. Because that's *why* archetypes end up as archetypes- it's a grouping of character tropes and traits that hits a chord with people. And that's why "cunning normal" was such a fucking retarded concept, Kiznaiverrrrrrr-

It's kinda weird she stays disguised even after getting caught... I guess this is actually consistent; it's been shown before you need to use another spell to transform back, meaning unlike most settings ontological inertia actually applies. but then later on the transformation seems to start slowly undoing itself for no reason anyway. How does this work? magic router?? why'd akko even take that?... whatever

we finally get some violence against witches (threatened but never put though because of course not), which doesn't explain anything but at least characterizes the guys as your entirely typical medieval-styled witch not-likers. The fact that this is what passes for an improvement in this fuckshow of a shitshow is just fucking sad. there are some actually tense and brutal scenes in there, some nice visual shots, like akko getting thrown on the table tied up and the distant side-shot of the guy getting hit by the armor... that aren't killed by wackyness! Amazding! ... Though it still doesn't quite work, probably because the show is still clearly too light-hearted to, say, actually use the torture devices. But them being pulled out isn't a wacky gag either aside from a bit of the reaction. what tone is this?

"y u no use ur magic on me??" "because there's no reception here dumbass the fuck do you think this works like"

Yet another interesting unaddressed plot point- magic was what got them into this mess and turned blong guy into an armored monster, and while a witch was the one who stopped it little to no magic was used in doing so, she basically just needed to smack him hard enough. It seems like the takeaway from this is that witches are perfectly fine people, but magic still needs to fucking die. hmm

by the way what happened to the wordfinding plot this episode

So clearly this was Croi boi testing her angery magicks, but I have to wonder... *why* is anger magic the strongest sort? I mean, it can basically only be arbitrary, but how convenient that her evil energy-having plan can't just go off by spreading feelings of sunshine and happiness.

18 "trained to catch every gost in 12 days, but the goal is one gost in one year"... This is literally, exactly, what Lottie says. What? Literally one minute in and like 20 seconds of dialogue and already this shit makes not a single lick of fucking sense.

akko trips and fucks things up again okay we fucking get i- why was that enpugh to breakm the fucking robort? akko's own body must be the most destructive object know to mankind.

We return to the generic wackey-qwackey humorisms the show had mostly shed in the last couple episodes, and it feels more forced than ever before. After all these thng I can't actually believe Akko's still this shit... and apparently the show itself doesn't either, since as soon as Akko finds something she can actually do it entirely stops. Once she starts working as a convincer/go-between/gopher, not a single thing gets broken. In other words, Trigger just abandoned her character development to churn out and force out more mediocre obligate humor. But at least it was only for, like, half of the episode.

on the other hand once she gets her shit back together the cards get brought back. That was always a kind of interesting little thing, that Akko knew some things even other witches didn't because of the fandom-ing that brought her to the school where she was otherwise so far behind everyone else. I mean, that just raises the question of why the other witches apparently never saw these cards and I feel like I asked exactly this many an episode ago so let's just move the fuck on again

isn't the ship from the OVA? it looks like the shiny rod... and like the same old vaguely eva-lagann looking shit. I forget what it was from Gainax that looked like that, but definitely it was something.

"I already know I won't be as good as Constance"... Man, when Akko's good, she's fucking good. She really isn't trampling over someone else with the conviction that she's always right about everything, she's just so excited she wants to draw a fucking robort. And then Candace loves it and is inspired to make it actually work. it's fucking cute man

gosts viral on social media Normies can't see gosts, but presumably Akko can. How is this actually determined? Rather, the deeper problem is that the line between witches and normies was never defined. There's some implication that it's hereditary, since everyone aside from Akko comes from a "witching family", but the very existence of Akko belies that. So if anyone can train to become a witch, how much training do you do before you become witchy enough to see gost? Actually, should people with latent potential be able to see gost? If Akko is bad at becoming a witch, logically there should be some people who would be better at it relative to her. Shouldn't there be some people in the crowd who can see gost as is? Also, do any males exist with any amount of witch potential, who could see ghosts on their own? If they had never called attention to it by doing the "gost can't see normie" thing, there'd be nothing to really question- you could assume witching is a skill like any other that people could aquire, that's often handed down through families like any other job or career, and that some people are just kind of terrible at. Buuuuut they had to get in this lame "muh on muh cell phone at tuh evuuuunnnt" joke and didn't think it through. Good work, Trigger, keep it up

how is many crow? how many gost We're shown each cube succing up at least one gost each, then multiple cubes forming one crow, but then there's a whole fucking lotta fucking crows. How many gosts were there? How many were left after the large amount that were already taken out? There's just an unmeasured infinite supply of gost somewhere offscreen to conveniently move in as needed. Trigger didn't think this through. And then a super-giant mega-crow shows up which must have used up even more gost. Great

and then the robort- OKAY TRIGGER WE GET IT YOU WUZ GAINAX ONCE CALM THE FUCK DOWN this is just so boring. YEAH, A FUCKING ROBOT, WE GET IT TRIGGER, YOU FUCKS HAVE FUCKING ISSUES. GAINAX-SENPAI WILL NEVER FUCKING NOTICE YOU, GET OVER IT. ... reactions from the peanut gallery are on point tho. akko even credits constantinople for her part in making this possible. she's a good kid. so good. too pure for this fucking show - the robort runs out of energy- WHY DID YOU NOT BRING A ROUTER YOU FUCKNAUTS THERE WAS ONE IN THE IMMEDIATELY PRECEEDING EPISODE WHY - it's a drill. it's a fucking drill. ........ i want to cry acid.

team cubes it blastign off againnnnnnfuck this gay earth

aww man akko doesn't even want to be thanked but compton gives her a training broom anyway. it's beautiful.

19 an old tradition and a new power... croix-was-write is written into the very fabric of reality in this show. good and then mom-diana fucking dies. LOL BYE BITCH.

why would you have the head-appointing ceremony randomly every few years rather than, like, when you need to appoint a new family head? it would even affect the exact same urgency, just have events come to a head so she needs to be pulled out of school and become family head now. why are they electing a baby teen as family head anyway? what age are these kids, anyway? akko looks like ten sometimes.

the second diana says "muh respekt for convention!!" you know she's gonna be treated as full of shit. it's over something we've never heard of and had no reason to assume, anyway. i don't even know "you know about the words?" you've blabbed them to everyone including the rival school that wants to execute you all, so why are you surprised?

...... LOL WHUT THE AUNT LITERALLY HAS GLOWING RED DEMON EYES WHAT THE FUCC?

.... Andrew is one of the best fucking characters in this shitshow of a show. The amount of fucks he's come to not give... Just invite the witch girl your father knows and hates to ride in your car squished up between him and yourself. And dad-man just can't fucking do anything about it. Holy shit lol and lol these british people sure fucking love soccer. boy i sure bet this isn't hammed-in foreshadowing for some fucking bullshit that's going to happen in the last episodes!!!! i'd fucking bet my lyfe on it !!!!!!

what fuck is diantha wearing We get another one of those nice moments that makes me hate the rest of the show. Akko, being energetic and people-oriented as always but somewhat more constrained due to the awkward and unfamiliar situation, tries to go for the teddy bear as an attempt to start some conversation with Diana... Diana yells at her not to touch it, and she actually does not touch it. Now go back and watch the robot episode again. HMMMMMMmmmmm Except it wasn't about the bear, it was about the box of Chariot cards, because of course Diantha actually likes Chariot, bet no one ever saw that twist comingHEY WAIT A MINUTE, didn't one of the earlier episodes hinge on Akko knowing something Diantha didn't because of the cards?? It can't be because Akko was the only one to autistically memorize them all, because Diantha is smurt character and should have remembered it at least somewhat just from reading it normally. kindness from diana, when the rest of the family and household is by akko's own statement even worse.

old lady yells at akko while unfitting music plays

#triggered by trigger