#he’s like what kind of fucked of profession is this my life is in shambles

[wrightandco]

regardless of everything else that’s happened in edgeworth’s life to fuck him up i think finding out that he unknowingly drove bruce goodman’s body across town in the boot of his car would just be the garnish on top of his cocktail of trauma

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #like I would literally feel sick that would be enough to fuck me up #like no wonder prosecutor Edgeworth chooses death… #he’s like what kind of fucked of profession is this my life is in shambles #my mental health is in tatters #the justice system is broken #i gotta get out of here

[thedevianthunterrk800]

Response Time (Captain Allen x Reader)

Request: Could you do a gender neutral EMT!reader who's always patching up the swat team and just goes "If I didn't know any better I'd think you guys were trying to get hurt"

This honestly reminds me of that episode of 30 Rock when Jenna makes Kenneth eat strawberries to get an allergic reaction so that the cute EMT comes lol like big mood™️

i don’t actually know anything about being an EMT so pls excuse if i don’t portray that correctly ahhh

Tags: @connorfixinghistie @wiredhawkes 

Masterlist

The first time you’re dispatched to treat the Detroit Police SWAT unit, you admittedly prepare for the worst. After all, you’ve only ever had to deal with local emergencies so far, like car accidents, scuffles that’d gone south, and the occasional call to bring elderly to the hospital. While you’ve aided your fair share of officers and detectives, you’ve never once been in contact with the SWAT unit.

Until today, that is.

Now, you watched a lot of television growing up, and so you’re well aware what kind of situations the SWAT team normally responds to. You expect there to be bloodshed, explosions, fatal gunshot wounds; you know, the standard stuff you see in action movies.

That’s not the case, however.

The SWAT team comes out unharmed. Well, mostly unharmed. You treat a few of them for some cuts and grazes, but nothing that requires immediate transportation to the ER, surprisingly.

Not to mention, you notice that the guys don’t seem to be bothered by the whole ordeal. Whatever situation they dealt with must’ve been child’s play—or maybe they’re simply used to responding to all sorts of violence by now. Still, it’s unsettling to see them joking around as if they weren’t being shot at by armed hostiles only a few minutes ago, but you suppose all that means is that you aren’t cut out to join the SWAT team. 

There’s just one guy in particular who remains quiet the whole time you examine him, which is unnerving in a different way because he’s the most handsome of the lot. Hell, he’s the most handsome guy you’ve ever met, and you wish he’d talk more because it’s getting increasingly difficult not to gawk at his perfectly sculpted face while dressing the cut on his neck.

Still, it’s not his obligation to make small-talk with you.

Not that you don’t try.

“Any other injuries?” you ask once you finish up, smiling at the expressionless SWAT member. He doesn’t return your smile, simply getting to his feet.

“That’s it. Thanks,” he says, giving you a curt nod. You offer him a small wave as he walks off, and you have to stop yourself from staring at his retreating back.

.

You don’t expect to see him again as quickly as you do, but not even a week later you’re once again gazing into the unimpressed face of who you mentally refer to as “SWAT Guy”. Of course, you know that there are other members in the squad, but only one of them looks like there’s a piece of shit right under his nose all the fucking time.

The situation they just handled appears to have been more dangerous than the last one, considering this time a few of the guys actually did sustain gunshot wounds. They’re immediately sent to the ER, and you’re left to check the other officers.

SWAT Guy at first glance looks alright, but you notice that he winces when you ask him to take a seat. He’s not bleeding, to your relief, but there’s no doubt he’s in pain. You have him remove his gear when he admits that he’s suffered a pretty nasty fall, and while your only goal is to tend to his injuries, you still can’t help yourself from feeling slightly flushed when he removes his black hoodie and shirt so you can examine his bruises.

You really try not to stare at his scarred six-pack and tattooed biceps.

..

It’s truly unfair that the only time an extremely gorgeous man strips in front of you is when he needs you to clean and bandage his wounds, but you would honestly consider these frequent exchanges with SWAT Guy to be one of the most intimate relationships in your life right now.

At this point, you’ve gotten used to working with Michigan’s finest SWAT unit. Either Detroit truly is in shambles or the DPD just sends these guys out for every little thing because there’s no way it’s normal how often you’re called to deal with them.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you guys are trying to get hurt,” you tell SWAT Guy one day. Considering he’s barely started speaking more than three words to you at a time, you never thought you’d live to see him actually laugh at one of your jokes but he suddenly does and the first thing you think is that it’s beautiful and you’d love to hear more of it.

“Shouldn’t this be good for you?” SWAT Guy replies with a small smirk, and you subconsciously swallow at the sight. “This means you’ll always have a job.”

“That’s true,” you agree with a devilish grin of your own, handing him an icepack for his many bruises. “I get paid per bone that you break.”

“I haven’t broken any bones.”

“Well, that’s why I keep telling you ‘break a leg’ every time we’re done here, huh?”

SWAT Guy shakes his head, but you swear you see the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

.

“I should really start handing out stamp cards,” you say jokingly as you apply antiseptic to the large cut on the SWAT captain’s forehead. You’ve already finished patching up the rest of the squad because the man always insists on being the last one checked out, regardless of the injuries he’s sustained. It’s pretty stupid, and on more than one occasion you’ve ignored his request, but still, you can’t help but admire his stubborn dedication.

In response to your teasing, Captain Allen—whose name you only discovered a few days ago—rolls his eyes, but he’s too slow to hide the smile that always seems to grace his lips during your brief exchanges. You grin and finish bandaging the wound, and you’re too focused on the task at hand to notice that Allen’s eyes never leave your face.

“All better!” you chirp, patting the freshly-dressed wound lightly. 

“That was quick.”

“Thanks to you guys, I’ve gotten really good at dressing cuts. I can do it with my eyes closed.”

Allen fake-scowls and you’re furious how someone can look so effortlessly attractive. “You better fucking not.”

“What, don’t you trust me? After everything we’ve been through?” you gasp, holding a hand over your heart, which hammering in your chest at a thousand beats per minute right now. You can’t help it; not with Captain Allen sitting in front of you looking so calm and edible. He’s unbelievably charismatic and you’re a little annoyed that it took him so long to open up because he’s actually quite hilarious and you can’t get enough of him.

His job worries the shit out of you and of course you’d never wish for him to have to be sent out just so you can see him, but you definitely get a thrill every time you’re told to aid the SWAT team.

At your questions, Allen raises an eyebrow, and fuck if that isn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever seen a man do. “What makes you think I don’t trust you?”

“I can see the doubt in your eyes, Captain,” you sniff dramatically, pretending to wipe a tear from your eye. Allen chuckles at your antics once again before a more serious expression crosses his face.

You take note of this and frown. “What’s wrong?”

He suddenly hops to his feet, eyes wandering over to the SWAT vans where the rest of his team is mulling about.

His answer is unexpectedly sharp. “Nothing. Thanks again for your help.”

So much for trust, you think disappointedly as he stalks off.

..

Seeing Captain Allen evokes a combination of giddiness and fear in you that’s morally questionable for someone in your profession but regardless, you can’t help but look forward to treating him. Sometimes you find yourself feeling disappointed when you’re sent on a regular call, which is pretty fucked up because you’re definitely not supposed to have preferences as an EMT, but it’s gotten really hard to control yourself around a certain SWAT member.

Besides being unforgivingly handsome, he’s an exceptional leader and more level-headed than you can ever hope to be. He’s stoic and fearless to a fault, sure, but then he smiles and it knocks the wind out of you.

Uhm...you definitely don’t have a crush on him, though. That would be entirely unprofessional.

No, no. You just admire the man.

Really.

“Yesterday a kid called us because he didn’t want to go to school,” you tell Allen, who hasn’t sustained any injuries but decided to come talk to you anyway. You try not to read into that but you’ll be lying if you say you’re not extremely giddy right now. “We spent like, thirty minutes trying to figure out whether or not we actually had to take him anywhere.”

Captain Allen snorts, crossing his arms as he leans against the ambulance doors next to you. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope. His mom eventually figured it out and I’m pretty sure he’s dead by now.”

“You should be fired for leaving someone to die then.”

“But then who’ll be there to patch up the local SWAT team?” you ask playfully, glancing up at the captain with a mischievous glint in your eye. The man is obviously trying not to smile but he almost gives in when he sees you waggling your eyebrows at him.

“I’m sure we’ll find a replacement.”

“Yeah, right. Who else is willing to come out every other day just to take care of your asses?”

Allen is full-on grinning now. You suddenly feel the urge to wipe it off his face with your lips. “Are you getting tired of us?”

Never, you think right away, but fuck if you’ll actually admit it. “Maybe a little. You take up all my free time, you know.”

“I apologize you have to do your job,” Captain Allen replies sarcastically and you laugh at that.

“I don’t mind if it’s you,” you reply without really thinking, and your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve said. Allen looks a little surprised but it’s nothing compared to how horrified you are right now by your own careless words. You chuckle nervously, pushing yourself upright and taking a few steps away from the captain. “Uh, because I wouldn’t want the SWAT team succumbing to their injuries or anything. Yeah. Imagine how fucked we’d be without you guys around, you know? Anyway, I have to go now. People be dying.”

It takes Captain Allen a good few seconds to process the complete bullshit that’s just spewed from your lips before he shrugs and steps away from the ambulance. He follows you quietly as you trudge over to the driver’s side of the vehicle, and you’re too busy mentally kicking yourself to notice him until he opens the door for you.

You blink. “Oh. Uhm, thank you.”

Allen nods distractedly. He waits for you to climb inside the cab and gently shuts your door. Starting the engine, you offer him a brief, sheepish smile. 

Before you can drive away, he suddenly taps on your window and you jump.

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you lower the window, hands shaking a little in anticipation—for what, you don’t exactly know. Still, you did sort of accidentally admit to Allen that you’re interested in him, so there’s no way he’s stopping you just to say bye, right? Maybe he wants you to clarify? Does it mean he actually feels the same—?

“Hey, I think you’re forgetting someone,” Allen’s voice cuts into your thoughts, and when you only continue to gape at him, he simply points to the distance where the rest of his team is, along with…

Fuck.

You almost left your partner.

“I was just warming the car,” you spit back as Allen shamelessly laughs at your mortified expression. You flush and sink backwards into your seat, covering your warm face with your hands in an attempt to block the world out.

You’ve never felt so fucking embarrassed in your life, and the fact that Captain Allen is the one to witness everything makes you want to crawl into a hole and fucking die.

.

Your stomach drops when you hop out of the ambulance and see at least six different police cruisers and two SWAT vans haphazardly parked outside a decrepit warehouse. There’s already another ambulance on scene and you mentally curse the Detroit traffic for slowing you down.

“I heard they’ve already evacuated half the team,” you hear your partner say from beside you, and for a second your world halts as you imagine a certain grumpy someone lying cold and lifeless somewhere in that warehouse. The thought shakes you to the core and you’re momentarily floored by how terrified you are for someone you barely know.

“Do you know who’s still in there?” you ask shakily, your ears ringing as you stare at the entrance of the warehouse for any sign of movement—any indication that SWAT Guy is alive and well.

“I know as much as you.”

The sound of several gunshots in the distance silences your reply and for a split second, everything stills. The world only gets much louder and livelier when you notice that SWAT members are now entering the premises.

“Why are they going in?” you ask nobody in particular, and as much as you want to run into the warehouse to see for yourself, you know better than to be that careless. Out of the corner of your eye, you see your partner shrug.

Truthfully, you don’t realize how invested you are in Captain Allen until you finally see a group of men walking out of the warehouse doors. You suddenly find yourself charging into the sea of commotion, weaving between officers to get close enough to the SWAT team because you have to know—

And there he is.

He looks agitated, if anything, running a hand through his slicked-back hair as he barks orders over his earpiece. You’re rooted to the spot, staring at him, transfixed, as though you’ve never seen him before, and you barely notice that he’s caught sight of you and is now headed in your direction.

Captain Allen begins to say a quick greeting when he reaches you, but he doesn’t even get a word in before you’re grabbing him by the front of his gear and tugging him down for a reckless, impulsive kiss.

He makes a noise of surprise and you feel him grip your shoulders, but instead of pushing you away like you expect, his hands only slip downwards to your waist and he pulls you so close you can feel every bump on the bulky vest that always seems to be attached to him. You sigh into his lips and he smiles at your contentment.

When you finally part, Captain Allen smirks at you. “Is that what I get for filling my stamp card?”

“Shut up,” you mutter, silencing his laughter with yet another kiss, hopefully just one of many more to come.

#captain allen x reader #captain allen detroit #captain allen dbh #captain allen detroit become human #daddy allen #daddy allen unit #my fics #requests #YEEEEET #i rlly think allen loves a funny reader bc hes so ded inside lol

[pokefanbri]

"Home is where the heart is" I dont have to tell you where that lies. But its only part of the pain. I know in my heart I'm a good person, but my life has been in shambles since I was young. Theres many like me, that dont deserve the life they were given & yet somehow persevere through it just to survive & try to be happy through the pain.

How I ask do I deserve not to be happy. I feel there was no justice for me, I was dishonorably discharged lol. I was truly happy where I was, but even if i were to travel place to place...that is also in my blood, not just the place I resided.

I was at home, I was at peace, I truly loved everyone there & every second. But do I dare go there again, absolutely in a heartbeat. But this is what kills me, Part of me says "this is your life now, accept it, push through even if u can't" the other part of me says that ill be white knighted with a bust through the door like the kool-aid man & he says "sike, yea i fucked it up & didn't realize I had something special, will u forgive me" 😅

But i know that could just be my imagination & im overthinking again. But where actually is my life headed? I have a good heart, i care so much about those thats affected me even in a bad way...but maybe that's God's love showing right through me, because I forgive easy & help those that need it. My brother says that a "helper" is equivalent to a partner in crime & all aspects, a soul mate. He throws the word around with this subject, but he's also trying to find his forever helper which he believes is the mother of his 1st born children. Thats great, given the right circumstances & if her situation was better, yea they could probably try.

For me, caring & trust is my biggest downfall. Because i do so much for others b4 myself, I end up taken advantage of or at least feeling like it. Even if its not the case, the wrong thats been done to me all my life..made me this way. I cant help that. And to find someone that I trusted fully, only to find out that I couldn't. That breaks a person like me down & actually hurts to the core. I didnt deserve that, but it was the disservice that was thrust upon me without a 2nd thought. I wasn't given the proper chance to love someone because they refused to love me back & yea most of the time it was about them...but thats a leo for ya 😅

When someone shares it mutually, everyone wins, you're complete, u have that "helper" you've been longing for all your life. The good times that were shared, the humorous banter, doing something for the other just cuz u can & cuz u want to, showing eachother off to friends & family like "yea thats my babe right there" as if to say they were happy u were there,the best friend & sidekick that everyone needs...it was all gone in a blink of an eye. Leading on my heartstrings, making me fall harder & harder, the friendship to the end even, all for nothing. But because of all the positives, thats what gets me, it's why my pain is so confusing. Why was it all like that if not on purpose whether for a positive reason I have yet to understand, to make it easier for them not to deal without regard for the others feelings, or cause God making me suffer more through it to make me stronger...when I thought I was done with low struggles already.

Idk man, I just dont understand. But because of what my life has been like over the past half of the year, all the positives makes me want more...because I never got all of him in the 1st place. I always wanted more because he held himself back & on purpose. So maybe it did seem like attachment, but only cuz I longed for the same feeling in return & didnt give up trying to find it..literally any sign of it. I was trying to figure his sweet ass out & learn what kind of person he really was lol, so I could accommodate to him more especially in the last weeks I was sweating my ass off 😆 I was dedicated so much I was willing to change what wasn't liked on the outside. Like I wanted to do so much to keep the best thing i had, cause deep down I knew his old feelings fizzled out quick & I just didnt understand & I still dont. I mean I guess I understand if he wasn't ready for a commitment? And that's fine, but he committed b4 & when I was brought there. What is it that was so wrong about me, that negative thoughts festered so much about someone it makes u think someone else is the problem, when its not the case at all.

Theres nothing i can think of, nothing else i could've done to show my worth, that I wasn't a waste of time. Maybe I pushed too hard? But in those last few weeks I gave space & focused on myself & my tasks at hand with so much more effort to have some kind of a chance, to save what was precious to me..save someone else that couldn't rise up on their own. & i blew it somehow. I was told i settled, but that was the point from the beginning that we both agreed upon. I think it was just that the other was getting comfortable with someone around & it scared em..to where they couldn't do all they wanted in life along with dealing with someone else at the same time. Or possibly felt 1 or the other wasnt good enough for the other & felt inadequate or unequiped. And searching for someone else to fill a void they already had at home, thats another thing that befuddles me. The last time I saw him, it didn't look or sound like he cared, avoided eye contact til he drove off & my heart sank even more as I knew it might be the last time I ever saw him. I was too pissed & in the heat of the moment flipped him off til he was out of sight, but after...i wanted to die right then & there but my best friend was there & we were on a deadline just as he was. If I were alone & my friend wasn't there, I'd be sobbing in that parking lot for hours til someone found me.

They, he, had it all but lost it due to their own negligence, in my opinion.

I mean come on whats not to like about me that didn't go hand in hand with what they were searching for.

The perfect heritage to match his (Templin Germany the 7th largest region) with some jew blood, same interests & hobbys, outlook on life, the lucky number, a good & gentle soul with a love for God. Passion for travel, soft spot for bald eagles, the dream of becoming a parent 1 day, intellectually & gamer gifted, both loves BLT sandwiches...because i da snack too 😏, both have the same middle name but spelled differently & 30yr olds with same hs class year, I have 3 hansome brothers & he has 3 beautiful sisters. I mean Dafuq? Lol. We're total opposites & literally residing NE to SW of the country, 1 grew up well the other not so much...yet we still were able to find eachother....somehow? Bro how about u try the other half of the yr here, 6 month equivalent & finish 2020 the right way huh lol BET 😂 oh man. A girl can dream though can't she?

I have a college writing level & training in business, musical theater, massage therapy (which was the fav), veterinary tech college training in hs, 7 years of choir under my belt since 5th grade including after hs in multiple churches & my choir teachers wedding. I Iove animals, likes to paint, great with technology, listen to music & sing along to every word almost exact, family oriented, a gaming & content creating wizard, passion for helping people, can organize & clean the shit out of anything, can be the boss when i feel the need as well as the spunk & charisma to push forward at any given task. I can multitask & can get shit done if I set my mind to it, if there's something or someone I need to feel purpose to be my best self, yea & if I'm accepted, that's purpose enough right there to get my ass moving.

Yea, jumbling alot of shit in my early life made me crack under the pressure but only cuz i really went over the top & burnt out. But ive relaxed alot since then & am treated for my ailments, ive learned to do things to pace myself now to prevent a psychosis from ever happen again.

Ive said this b4, there was 1 other that also broke up with me...1st time it ever happened the other way around mind u, was also a Leo.. shocker lol. After only 3 months & of me saying the L word too quick...it was what finally broke me, what added ontop of everything else. I was living in my own apt since hs & after school a yr later at 19..he lived in the same apt complex & worked where i did. We hit it off really well & loved talking to eachother at work, almost the same humorous & smart personality with a passion for gaming, dead ass great driver, skinny & ample where it counted, & yea also a weed enthusiast 😅 all of it pretty much the same as the recent one in my life. Honestly thinking about it now they probably would've been great friends lol. Thomas was his name, but I was in a relationship at the time of meeting him as well. But I didn't pursue anything til that relationship blew up in my face just cuz my current bf's grandfather was my boss & saw how well Thomas & i got along as friends, associated it with cheating, & that was that. Tom could be mine after all lol, chips fell into place on their own after he professed his feelings to me on his MySpace blog so damn smoothly lol 😂 Saying there was a girl he liked, i commented on it, he asked me out, that was trap lol, but it worked lol. The chemistry was 🔥

But yea, we had alot fun together & he was completely chill with me. But after it ended it set something off in me. Ended up in a psych ward for 2-3 weeks, little did I know he was worried sick & had no idea where i was or how to visit. I wasnt allowed to have my phone but the persons number I knew by heart, was the previous guy b4 tom, the chubby aloof dumbass that was my 1st love lol. Tom hated him with a passion cuz this dude wasn't a man that treated me fairly, pushed onto me by his family for me to take care of, shelter & feed him mooching off of me & taking advantage of a comfortable place to live at 1 point. When i was in the hospital, my 1st was the 1 to pick me up. When I got back from the hospital I learned of how tom was worried & he gave me a big hug. But by that point I was back with the 1st...somehow that happened & I actually don't remember what brought it on cuz my memory throughtout those weeks was dowsed in medication...but Thomas was the one heartbroken instead of me this time cuz he actually did want me back, the fact I took this other guy back over him, a person he despised...was terrible to him & he severed all ties, moved away. He broke up with me, technically it was okay as so i thought to see someone else regardless if it was an ex or not. i didn't know I had another chance at all.

But anyway, the difference between the 2 leo Ts, 1 let me in completely, cared about me as much as i did for him in same way & the L word too soon is what did it in for him after 3 months 🤷‍♀️ The other T well..unfortunately 1 sided for the most part despite how well we clicked, i was faithful & the other tried not to be after 3 months & hid things due to his own insecurities, pulling me along for another 3months when I didn't have to do jack for him at all after that point, but I did. I might've said the L word too soon with him as well idk. But because I'm a different person than I was then, there's no psychotic break...its just the depressed feeling of defeat with the mix of the longing i still have for him.

Wtf is it with T names & the number 3!? ffs! 😫 Briana Leigh Templin BLT, Bri Loves...whoever Tfuk 🤣

I cant write anymore today, I gotta leave tomorrow. My brother wants me to work for him instead & make more money, in a team that would be like in an office space, basically an assistant but making calls & checking in with clients within his real estate, solar, etc businesses.

But idk, I just got my foot in the door with something else. If I let go of that, for something that could or could not be bad for me, then what do I do? Neither of them sound any less stressful, bryans idea however earns more money & would have me dealing with stuff I like to do in regards to skills maybe? Idk man, idk. It'd a tough call.

My point in writing this, nothing accept to show how much I thought he was perfect for me, just as he originally thought about me. These are all thoughts going through my mind, get them out of my head. To talk openly the way I am, its therapeutic. But I miss him so damn much, not sure when this feeling will go away. I still love him & even dare I say trust him,even through his lying ass faults & idk why, i shouldn't but i do...thats the powerful effect he had on me. Still waiting on the last promise to be friends, im giving space, venting here instead of to him cuz i wouldn't want to be that much of an annoyance. I was going to include more but it'd be dark & negative,& im not about outing the worst in people especially if he was a good guy for the most part...no that wouldn't be right, probably deserves it to be honest..but no. I still wanna do right by him. That's all for now

[chronicles-of-tirion]

Unbreakable

“You are smaller than I remember,” Arasilmë said, his strong arms wrapped both around and underneath the slender elda he had braced up against a marble wall, much in the same way a mother or caregiver would hold a child. “Did Námo rob your body of all that muscle when he remade you? That was cruel of him.”

A lie. The entire thing had been a lie, a farce created to keep him busy long enough to seduce his hot-headed charge past the point of reason. A lie that he'd made love to as though it had been truth, a lie that he'd shared things, intimate things with, because he believed without a shadow of a doubt that it was real and that the Valar had sent him back. But the truth... the reality was loathsome, and crueler than anything he'd ever known.

“I...” the other started quiet, soft, “there was much damage done from... from...” Aurë bit his bottom lip, “from what had happened, that it's been hard for me to do many of the things that I once took joy in doing.” Arasilmë watched him as he visibly cringed at the mere mention of his experience at the hand of Melkor and his foul servant, Sauron. In all honesty, the redheaded first born didn't want him to talk about it, to talk about it or remember it; as far as he was concerned, he wanted to put it as far behind the both of them as he could.

He could not see well through the black silken scarf he'd had Nerdanel tie around his eyes, but that was entirely the point: he didn't want to see. He didn't want to see the monster that wore the face of his dead mate, the mate he sometimes cried himself to sleep pining for and grasping at the shredded wisps of what remained of his ruined bond; the mate whose name he found himself screaming as he wrenched himself from a nightmare covered in sweat. He didn't want to watch or see himself kill that mate again, even though he knew this monster was not his mate. He didn't want to see it, because he knew that if he did, he couldn't make himself do it. All men were sometimes forced to do things that they didn't want to in the name of love, and in the name of love, he'd kill the monster that wore his beloved's face and save his stupid ward from an even worse fate.

“I'm small, because I'm afraid...” he said quieter still. Not Aurë. “I'm small, because I am uncomfortable in my own skin...” Lies. “I'm small, because the only thing that I have lived for, is finding you so that we could be together again.”

“Lies!” Arasilmë snarled, pointing his sword in the direction of the creature, the monster, that wore the face of his beloved and most precious person of all. “Everything that you said to me, every admission, every profession, everything that you said to me is a farce!”

The silver-haired elda standing beside the first-born's hot-headed charge, Fëanor, sat up and blinked, fainting confusion at the sudden outburst. Fëanor was just as equally confused, and somewhat annoyed that Arasilmë had come storming into his chambers brandishing a sword at his new friend. “What are you doing, Arasilmë?” he asked, brushing sweat away from his forehead.

“That is not who you think he is,” Arasilmë snarled, stepping ever farther into the room. Fëanor was certain that his general and long-time friend had to have a sixth sense of some kind, because he was entirely blind and seemed to know exactly where he was going anyway.

“Oh really?” he asked, jeering slightly, because Arasilmë had obviously lost his marbles somewhere in between last night and that morning. “If he's not one of my new councilors, and your previously dead mate, then who is he?” Violence was not something tolerated in the great city of Tirion, especially not violence against other eldar, and his mad general was brandishing a very sharp sword at an elda he was fairly certain had no idea how to hold a blade or if he did, couldn't, without having a panic attack. Aurë was so much better with words than weapons. However, that was to be expected, considering Mahtan had forged Arasilmë the first sword in existence.

“My great enemy,” the redhead answered. He whipped out a set of small daggers and flicked them, fast and hard at the smaller, silver-haired elda, the sharpened blades sliding through skin and hair like a hot knife into butter. The warrior winced, trembling, pausing, hesitating at the screams of pain from his foe a foe whose voice identical down to pitch and inflection to that of his dead mate's. But this one wasn't Aurë. Aurë was strong. Aurë was powerful. Aurë was great. Aurë was not so small and so frightened, he was not a mouse. He was a lion. A great and mighty warrior and this farce had gone on long enough. “Scream. Holler. Cry. My Aurë does none of these things. My Aurë would never allow such a thing to conquer him and make him so low.” Out of his pocket, he pulled a round ball filled with a dark red liquid. Aurë's light blue eyes widened and Fëanor's narrowed. What was this?

“Arasilmë...-?” The redhead hefted the ball and then whipped it at the smaller, slender elda. Arasilmë had legitimately gone insane. It was not something that he hadn't expected, in all honesty, with his father being so lax and unobservant lately due to being so hung-up on his whore of a bride, of course he'd let his general slowly lose his mind... but enough for murder?

The moment that the ball smashed into the cheek of his friend, Fëanor shook himself out of the shock of the entire situation, remembered that he had a sword and drew it. “Arasilmë, stop-!” Aurë's eyes swirled from a frightened liquid blue to an angry molten golden colour. Elven eyes did not do that.  “What... what's going on here...?” he asked, dropping his sword slightly, frightfully confused.

“They're golden aren't they, Fëanáro?” Arasilmë asked.

Fëanor hesitated a moment, then replied, “yes... they are.” However, the silver-haired individual standing in front of them had not changed form, the only thing that was unlike what had been was the sizzling flesh of his cheek and the golden eyes laden with pain and anger, wrath. “But... he still looks like Aurë...”

“Which is why I'm not removing this until I'm done...” Fëanor looked at Arasilmë and then at Melkor, because that's who he was, Melkor.

“Arasilmë, stop.”

“WHAT!?” Fëanor was certain that he'd never heard his general yell so loud in his entire life and with so much hatred and anger in that voice. “There is no stop. That is my enemy. My GREAT enemy, and I will never stop until he's dead!”

“But he hasn't done anything to hurt anyone! We just talk! All he does is talk to me!” That wasn't all he did, but that wasn't something he was about to tell Arasilmë at this moment. “Don't answer violence with violence, you're not making the situation any better. The Valar wouldn't have allotted for his release if he meant any harm.”

“The Valar are fucking morons, every last one of them, especially Súlimo. That bastard is far too forgiving and far too in love with the idea that his brother will eventually bury the hatchet and return to the form he originally had. You don't steal mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, wives, husbands and mates and turn them into monsters if you have any intention of returning. Get out of my way, Fëanáro.” Fëanor turned his attention toward Melkor who was now looking slightly less like Aurë: angrier and brandishing a weapon of his own.

“Do not speak of my brother in such a way,” he snarled. “You know nothing of the Valar.”

“I know enough,” Arasilmë answered. “I know enough about you to know about them.” Arasilmë had never had a high opinion of the Valar. “How dare you wear the face of my love. How dare you farther dishonor him and dishonor my memory of him.”

“I only wanted to talk to your ward,” he said. “He has the potential to be so great, having such a powerful aura and energy already.”

Arasilmë had had enough talking, enough of Melkor's lies and untruths. Whipping his sword around, he charged, slamming the point of his sword right through the other's chest with surprising accuracy for one lacking sight a the moment. When he felt his blade hit the marble wall behind him, he smirked and twisted the blade inside of him, before yanking it out.

“I planned... for this... you know... you finding out... it was me all along...” he whispered breathless into the other's ear, smiling, though Arasilmë couldn't see it and blood dripping from his lips. “You know... even if you die, you'll never meet him in Mandos. I destroyed his soul and devoured it, consuming the energy for myself. There is nothing left of him for you to meet in Mandos.” He smiled then, the illusion he had cast crumbling to dust.

Fëanor didn't speak to Arasilmë. The other's face was as hard as stone, lacking any and all emotion. He'd never seen him this way before. The only thing that he could do was to watch him leave, and hope that he came back.

~*~

Arasilmë stood near the rail of Tirion's balcony, his bedroom in shambles, property destroyed beyond repair. “Do not do this... You cannot return from this...” The female voice whispered closely, even though there was no one near, no one close.

The redhead released a quiet sigh, breathing in the scent of the wind, the coming rain on the air. “That's the point, isn't it?” he replied. “That there is no point. All of these imbeciles see the beauty and serenity of this place and think that there can be no darkness here, that there is nothing to fear anymore. There is darkness everywhere, and just because you claim you can protect us from it, doesn't actually mean that you can.” He whipped out his sword, special and custom made only for him by the one person he had assumed understood the direness of the situation.

Apparently not. “But this is not your destiny! You are not bound by any destiny laid out by anyone. Silmë, you cannot return from this! My child of the stars, do not do this...” She beseeched him, the only one of them that he ever cared to listen to still, the only one that hadn't ever betrayed him with false promises and lies.

He looked down at his right hand, at the scar across it that had been carved into his flesh before the creation of the first sword, jagged and messy, and all that remained of that which he had loved more than anything on this forsaken piece of rock. He took his sword and sliced right through it, in the opposite direction. “There's nothing for me in Mandos... and the only thing here for me is him. So be it. I, Arasilmë Angael, swear on the existence of my soul, created by Eru Ilúvatar that I will rend Melkor, the Dark One, from existence in such a way that there will be nothing left of him...” He took his sword and sheathed it, then turned away. “Or me, but ancient stardust.”

#Arasilme Lossemire #Arasilme Angael #Arasilme #Silmarillion AU #Chronicles of Tirion #Melkor #Feanor #fanfic