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sanjoongie · 8 months

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Love will Find you when you're not Looking

🌳Apart of the ghibli collab held by @daesukiii 🌳Genre: romance, angst 🌳Trope/Au: love triangle, established relationship, s2l, fantasy au 🌳Pairing: San x Nari (OC) x Seonghwa 🌳Fandom: Ateez 🌳Movie: My Neighbor Totoro 🌳Warnings: mentions of illness, death, heartbreak, cheating! 🌳Word Count: 7,060 🌳Rating: 18+ MDNI 🌳Summary: moving into the countryside had two purposes: one, to put Seonghwa in a state-of-the-art facility to see if there's a chance he might survive this illness, and two, so that you could enjoy your life while being without Seonghwa. What you never pegged was how magical the forest was surrounding your new home and finding comfort within it. 🌳A/N: Mathieu is the youngest, four years old boy, and Seongnam is eight (first born, means south star, after hwa's nickname for Nari, which is northern star) 🌳Dedication: @mejuii & @downtoamagicalland who wept when i first told them of my plans for this story and wept after they read it too 💔 i'm sorry i broke your hearts, my beta readers

“Seongnam, please watch your brother!” I called out as the two raced out of the moving van and tore across the wild grass that was now my new yard.

“Okay Mama!” Seongnam, my eldest, called out. “Mathieu, stay by me, okay?”

“‘Kay!” Mathieu, my four year old, echoed back.

I let myself watch them as they zoomed around for a moment before turning to the moving van. There was a lot of stuff to move and it was only day one.

I had moved to the countryside to remain closer to my husband, Seonghwa. He had always had a delicate disposition when I had met him but it seemed to only get worse once we got older and began a family. Eventually, when Seonghwa became bedridden, the city doctors recommended a state of the art facility that was located in the middle of nowhere. I wrote for a living so it was nothing for me to move my life for Seonghwa, but I worried about the kids. Seongnam had some best friends already and I loathed to pull him from his life in the city, but he insisted he wanted to be wherever his Papa was, so here we were, moving into a fixer-upper with the intentions of staying within biking distance of his father.

Mathieu squealed in fear as Seongnam lifted up a log, revealing creepy-crawlies, and it made my own fear zip through me. I dropped a dresser I had been attempting to pull onto the built-in dolly on the moving truck and moved outside of the van.

“Park Seongnam, stop torturing your poor brother!” I shouted.

“Yes, Mama,” Seongnam said dutifully but stuck his tongue out at his scaredy cat brother.

I sighed. Seongnam promised me he was going to try to take care of his brother, who was still very sensitive to his father being ‘in that sick place’ but Seongnam had too much of my teasing nature in him and Mathieu was also too much me in being the perfect victim. It was going to be a mess keeping those two from aggravating each other this summer.

The boys zoomed around the house, searching every nook and cranny for old folklore creatures. They claimed they found soot sprites and one of the grannies from the small community in these hills even confirmed it to them, leaving them wide eyes about tales of the small creatures in our house and in the forest.

"You would beware of the forest spirit the most, however," Granny wagged a finger at me, "many a maiden have fallen to his charms. As kind and warm as his heart may be, he is still a forest spirit."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to worry about me, Granny. With these two gremlins, I have enough to worry about."

"Gremlin!" Mathieu cackled at the new fun word to say.

Seongnam began to growl, crouching and forming claws from his fingers. He chased Mathieu around the house, while Granny instructed me how best to heat up all the welcome dishes she brought with her. And through all this, I just wished Seonghwa was here.

Seonghwa always used to be able to put the boys to bed best. He would gather them in his arms, one on each side of him, and he would lay in Seongnam's single bed. His feet would awkwardly lie off the bed but his eyes would remain on me.

"Tell us a story, Mama," he would say, eyes full of hearts instead of stars.

Our boys would fall asleep to the sound of their father's even breathing but Seonghwa always listened to every last word until I said "The End."

Each boy would get a kiss on the forehead, Mathieu tucked into his big boy bed, and we would continue the evening. It used to be that Seonghwa would say "One more time, I think we can get a little girl." But then Seonghwa couldn't make it through a single story without coughing and his sleep included an oxygen mask. I loved Seonghwa but I missed him so much.

"Boys, please, I've a new story to tell you," I pleaded, currently having a hard time without Seonghwa.

Mathieu frog hopped over his brother who was crouched putting Legos together on the floor. "New story?"

I nodded my head. "Remember the spirit Granny warned me about earlier?"

Seongnam laid on his bed, with his brother dutifully beside him, and they both watched me with the same eyes their father stared at me as I weaved a tale for their bedtime…

Once upon a time there was a maiden and she had to travel to far away lands because her father was sick--

“Do even princesses have sick father’s too, Mama?” Seongnam interrupted me.

Mathieu had the beginnings of a pout on his adorable lips. Seongnam looked like he needed to relate to someone; that he wasn’t alone in the world with a sick papa.

I tickled Mathieu to get a big grin from him and I leaned in to kiss Seongnam’s nose. “Yes, my star, even princesses have sick fathers.”

The princess was very lonely, stuck in a castle all by herself, with her father sick in a tall tower that was guarded by a powerful wizard. But the castle was surrounded by a magical forest, so she spent her days picking flowers--

“Mama,” Seongnam interrupted me again, Mathieu blew a raspberry.

I narrowed my eyes down at my boys, giving them the best Mama Glare I knew. Seongnam stayed strong, however.

“Why does the princess pick flowers? What did they ever do to her?”

I had to laugh. “Do you want to hear the story or not Park Seongnam?!” I demanded, putting my hands on my hips.

A small smile, a ghost of his father’s, pulled at Seongnam’s lips. “Sorry, Mama.”

--she spent her days picking up acorns and pinecones, hoping to recreate some of the magical forest within the walls of the castle. For the princess knew that soon she would be caught playing in the forest and that was not allowed.

The magical forest was neither good nor evil, it simply was. There were happy fairies but there were also dangers in the magical forest that even a princess could not defeat. So every day, the princess made sure she was back home before sunset; before it became dark in the magical forest.

Mathieu clung to his older brother, burying his face into his older brother’s airplane pattern pjs. Seongnam hugged his brother back, ‘too big’ to admit that he might be scared as well.

Luckily enough for the princess, the forest enjoyed her company. She bowed to the deer and said good morning to the bunnies. So the forest sent out a messenger, for it could see that the princess was indeed very lonely.

The forest spirit was a big but fluffy creature, with gray fur and white spots. The forest spirit loved to sleep in the sun, having found the perfect burrow in the hollow of a tree. The forest awoke the spirit with a great shaking of the tree’s branches and the spirit yawned loudly.

The noise scared the princess, who had been below the tree, collecting acorns. But, she was a brave and curious princess, so she followed a hole into the tree and found the spirit.

“Did the spirit eat her?” Seongnam demanded. Mathieu squealed as his brother grabbed his arm and pretended to nom on him.

“You sir, are a troublemaker,” I scolded my eldest.

I scooped Mathieu up into my arms and cradled him to my chest. “The forest spirit does not eat princesses,” I assured my youngest.

Mathieu nodded like he knew better this entire time and continued to listen to my story.

The princess climbed upon the forest spirit because he was larger than a bear but much more cuddly. She curled up and napped with the forest spirit, who was very happy to go back to sleep.

She slept and she slept. And she slept and she slept. And when she woke up, she found that so much time had passed. The castle had been looking for her far and wide and thought she disappeared! But the forest was looking to help the princess who sought comfort in it. So by the time the princess woke up, her father was healed!

By the time I finished my story, Mathieu was sound asleep, sucking his thumb. Seongnam looked like he had half a foot in sleepland and half a foot in the waking land.

“Mama?” Seongnam inquired sleepily as I tucked Mathieu in.

“Yes baby?” I answered absentmindedly, gently tugging Mathieu’s thumb out of his mouth.

“I wish I could sleep and wake up and Papa was better.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I had wanted to give my children hope with that story but it seemed like Seongnam had my logic. I turned to my first born and sat on his bed. “Well, Seongnam, in a way, it’s kinda true. One day, we will wake up and go visit your father and the doctors will tell us he’s well enough to come home.”

“Promise?” Seongnam asked, rubbing his eyes.

“On a shooting star, let it go far,” I added our family’s extra mantra when we promised things.

“ ‘kay,” Seongnam replied, turning over and falling asleep.

Sleep did not come to me as easily as it did my sons, unfortunately. Nighttime was usually when I was free of my hoodlums and could write a bit but my mind and body was exhausted after the move. Instead, I grabbed a blanket and sat outside on the porch to look at the stars. Perhaps Seonghwa was also looking at the same stars I was. But I hope he was sleeping, just like our babies.

I pulled out my phone by instinct but there wasn’t any cell service in the remote area we lived in. Hell, the internet company wasn’t coming out for another week because it was satellite internet and they were already booked up. All I wanted to do was send a text message to my love to tell him I missed him. I didn’t want to be a single parent anymore.

“There’s a star in this sky around this time of year that we call the lonely star,” a voice comes out of nowhere, scaring me half to death. “I don’t see it in the sky though. Perhaps it’s you?”

I turned my head slowly and there was a dark haired man, hair sheared close to his head, with a gray shirt that had cut-outs on his massive shoulders. His smile pulled only half of his lips to the side, showing dimples. His dark eyes glowed merrily, clearly teasing.

I tried to calm my beating heart. “Nope, I’m not a fallen star,” I stated. I moved to get up, scared for my children but the man sat down beside me.

“The babies are asleep. There is no danger to them,” He reassured me.

I swallowed nervously. “Is there any danger to me?”

The man shook his head. “No,” he replied simply.

“What brings you out here at the dead of night?” I couldn't help but say sarcastically.

“Your heart called out to me,” The man said, turning his head slightly.

I scoffed and then brandished my hand with my wedding band to him. “Didn’t you hear that your new neighbor is married?”

The man cocked his head curiously and then examined my engagement ring on top of my marriage band. The diamond sparkled as he moved it and I held my breath. “Are you sure you’re not a fallen star and this is how you contain yourself until you can get back up into the sky?”

You’re my northern star. I always follow you to find my way home.

My throat suddenly became tight and my heart ached with love and loneliness. The man, as if responding to my own pain, put a hand to his heart. “See, your heart calls out to me even now.”

“How do you know?” I whispered into the night wind.

The man turned to me fully, half serious, half joking. “You’re the princess from the story from earlier. And I’m the forest spirit.”

I shook my head slowly. “How did you…that’s not possible!”

The man giggled musically. “The forest sent me because you were lonely. You all are.”

My heart hurt even more, thinking that my children were lonely because their father wasn’t here with us in this new place. “That’s not true.”

The man put a hand on my shoulder and I felt all the tension and loneliness melt away. Instead, I felt comfort and warmth. “Now it’s not true.”

My eyes felt heavy and before I could realize it, my head dropped and the last thing I remember was my body leaning into the stranger’s shoulder as he hummed a song under his breath. It sounded like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

I jolted awake the next morning when the door slammed open behind me. “Mama!” Mathieu yelled at me, “Why are you sleeping outside?”

I blinked rapidly, dazed and confused. What had happened? I came outside because I couldn't sleep and--

“There’s a star in this sky around this time of year that we call the lonely star.”

I shook my head. I had to have dreamt that. "Mama couldn't sleep, love," I replied, standing up with a groan.

"Mama, can I have eggs?" Mathieu asked politely, small hand clinging to my pant leg.

I smiled painfully. "Only if I can find the frying pan."

The morning was a bit of a mess. Mathieu cried in frustration when I couldn't make his eggs the way Papa made them. Seongnam scolded his baby brother, saying he should grow up, which only made Mathieu cry harder. I yelled at Seongnam and then his lower lip began to quiver.

"Come here, loves." I bent down and threw out my arms. Both of my boys came to me and we had a group hug and a small cry together.

Seongnam wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then Mathieu wiped my cheeks adorably.

"Now, Mama needs to unpack some more. We don't want the sneezies, so be big boys and find all the windows and throw them all open for your silly Mama, okay?"

Mathieu squealed and ran off to find the first window. Seongnam looked at me seriously for a moment and then bopped my nose with his forefinger. He had seen his father do that to me numerous times and for some odd reason it stopped me from sneezing.

I almost teared up again but kept it together for my oldest. "Thank you, Southern star."

Seongnam grinned at me. "Welcome, Northern Star."

"When you're done with the windows, go play outside with Mathieu, okay?" Seongnam nodded solemnly. "You can go into the forest but only as far as you can still see the house. No farther than that."

"Yes, Mama," Seongnam agreed and then he was gone.

I spent the day unpacking and cleaning our fix-me-up. I noted most of the repairs in a notebook, thinking I could do a lot myself minus the roof. Before I realized it, it was lunch time. I leaned out the kitchen window that looked to the forest and called out the boys' names. Soon, they were running out of the forest, squealing and giggling.

"Mama!" Mathieu practically threw himself into my arms. "We made a new friend!"

"Did you say good morning to some bunnies like the princess?" I asked, burying my face into the crook of Mathieu’s neck.

"Noooooo," he giggled, pushing away my face. "It's the forest spirit like in your story!"

My stomach dipped and my hold on Mathieu tightened. Seongnam must have seen my face fall as well because he came and grabbed my hand. "What's wrong? Didn't you say the forest sent the spirit to the princess because she was lonely?"

My own story was starting to really bite me in the ass. "It was just a story, star."

Seongnam frowned. "No, it isn't. We met him today! He showed us the hollow and the view from the top of the tree!"

I shook my feeling of anxiety and played along with Seongnam. Clearly they really had latched onto my story. I had even dreamt of the story. They were my children after all, they'd be good at playing make believe.

"Did you get a name for the forest spirit?" I inquired.

"San!" Mathieu declared, throwing his arms up in the air. "He throws me high in the air and I float on toys!"

"Well that does sound like a lot of fun," I agreed.

I settled Mathieu on my hip and started to pull out the ingredients for sandwiches. "Did you nap too? The forest spirit does love a good nap."

"No, San said he wasn't tired because he had a nap with you!" Seongnam answered while he sat at the table.

I tried not to falter at Seongnam’s words. I put Mathieu in his raised chair and started making sandwiches. I had to do something with my hands to stop them from shaking.

"Well, let's make sure the forest sent the same spirit to me as it did to you, huh? What if it's playing a trick on us? Your San, he had short, dark hair? A gray shirt with silly cut outs?"

"Yeah!" Seongnam nodded his head so quickly his glasses fell down the bridge of his nose. "And he had these." And my eldest proceeded to poke both of his cheeks.

Shit, this just got real.

That night, after a story about a car that spoke to its owner, I was outside on my porch quicker than if my ass had been on fire.

"Forest spirit, who gave you permission to play with MY children?" I hissed into the darkness.

I was met with silence.

"Oh, so now you're playing shy, huh?!" I said, putting my hands on my hips.

“See, your heart calls out to me even now.”

Fine, two could play this game.

I thought of when I met Seonghwa. He had been staring at me in the library for over half an hour and it had been bothering me. So I gathered my bag and books and walked over to his desk and slammed a hand down in front of him, making him jump and yelp in fright.

"How am I supposed to read when I can feel your eyes boring into my back, just between my shoulder blades?" I whispered angrily.

"Actually," Seonghwa blinked up at me. "I was trying to figure out if the barrette under your bun was a shooting star."

I slapped my hand on my shooting star barrette. "Oh. I'm sorry," I apologized lamely.

Seonghwa smiled, crooked but kind. "That's interesting because my name actually means 'to be a star'."

"It doesn't mean anything, it just means I really like stars," I mumbled under my breath. I was embarrassed and I just wanted to get out of here now.

Seonghwa tilted his head flirtatiously. "Then you must like me too."

I sighed and curled a fist over my heart, back in the present. Seonghwa had been sick then but it barely affected him. If I had known… no. I loved Seonghwa fiercely and proudly and I wouldn't give up my sons for the world.

"Hello again, fallen star."

"San--"

San's eyes lit up with excitement. "So they did tell you about me!"

"I've never seen them so happy and glowing in a long time," I said wistfully.

"They just needed to have someone look at them and acknowledge that they are here," San said, nodding his head sagely.

I shook my head. "I don't understand this."

"You don't have to understand it." San leaned back against one of the porch pillars and it creaked.

I stared worriedly at the roof of the porch. "Am I gonna have to fix you too?"

San giggled, the melodic noise dancing through the air. "The house has good bones. It was built from the trees from the forest, freely given."

I pursed my lips. "I don't want more of your gifts."

San cocked his head curiously. "You couldn't sleep. I helped you."

"I'm not a forest spirit, I can't sleep outside without getting cold and stiff," I replied, rubbing a shoulder with one hand.

"You weren't cold!" San frowned, "I kept you warm."

I began to rub my eyebrow. "I don't need any more help."

“Then why did your heart call out to me?”

San’s gaze felt a little too heavy for my liking. “Because I wanted to yell at you.”

“For taking care of the little ones?” San blew a raspberry, “Humans are funny.”

My throat tightened and tears burned my eyes. San was right. I was just as bad as my children, lashing out when I didn’t know who I truly wanted to be angry at. I felt warm hands grasp my upper arm.

“Do not cry, fallen star,” San reassured me.

I bent my neck so my head could lower. I didn’t want him to see my tears for some reason I could not fathom. “I’m not crying,” I sniffled.

San pulled me in for a hug and the dam broke. All the walls I had up, all the meticulously built support to stay strong for everyone in my life gave out and I began to sob into San’s chest. My face was buried there and his arms were around me and I wept for my life. I wept that I had to make promises I couldn't keep to my children. I wept for my sick husband. I wept that I was tired and sad and neglected--

With tears pouring down my face, San released me and tipped my head back with a finger under my chin. “You are beautiful,” he beamed down at me with such a radiant smile.

My shoulders still shook as my sobs wracked through my body. “I’m not,” I said stubbornly.

“Your heart is beautiful, therefore you are,” San insisted.

And just like that, my heart started beating out of my chest. San seemingly responded, grin only getting wider and bolder. He leaned in and I put a hand on his chest to halt him from getting too close. “Don’t.”

"I just want you to feel loved," San sighed, his warm breath flirting with my lips.

"My husband--"

"Your heart is sick, Nari."

"San, I can't!"

"Then let me."

His lips descended onto mine. He kissed me softly, he kissed me gently, and with kindness that made my heart melt. I was like fragile glass in his hands but he knew exactly how to handle me. His tongue touched my lips and my mouth opened up for him with a groan. It had been ages since I had been kissed this way. Since--

I pushed San firmly back, palms to chest and San let me break the kiss. "No."

San watched me with solemn eyes and said nothing until I reached my door. "You know, while I kissed you, your heart wasn't crying anymore."

The next day we made our first trip to Seonghwa's room at the hospice. I had a buggy attached to my bike and Seongnam had his own bike, training wheels taken off as the last service his father had performed for him.

The boys were so excited to see their father and to tell him about the move. I let them run into his room while the doctor snagged me for a talk. It seemed like the move to the hospice had put quite a lot of stress on Seonghwa’s body.

"Are you saying the move was bad for him?" I demanded incredulously.

The doctor shook his head. "Not at all. We are already seeing the change the air is having on his lungs. His heart, on the other hand--"

And then I heard the word San.

Seongnam was talking animatedly with his hands, that he took after me in regard to. Mathieu bounced on the bed, excited to blurt out his adventures with the forest spirit. And all I could think about was how I had kissed a man other than Seonghwa.

"Thank you, doctor, but I would like to see Seonghwa now." I nodded curtly and then pushed into the room.

“And how is my northern star?” Seonghwa smiled, his eyes twinkling like stars themselves.

“I’m fine, Hwa,” I murmured, pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Your hair is getting long,” He mentioned, rubbing a strand between his thumb and forefinger.

“Mama hates it Papa, but she says it’s for you,” Mathieu blurted out, not truly understanding what he was repeating.

Seonghwa’s smile grew and my cheeks became warm. “Is that so?”

I pulled Mathieu closer to me, avoiding eye contact. I started to absentmindedly comb his hair down. “Well, it’s not like the hairdresser is nearby anymore.”

“Did the doctor say you could come home now?’ Seongnam asked solemnly.

“I’m sorry,” was all that Seonghwa could offer to his eldest son.

Mathieu bursted out crying at the announcement that Papa wasn’t coming home. Seongnam teared up too and I knew it was time to take them home. I ushered them out before they could exhaust Seonghwa; he needed all the energy he could muster to focus on healing. Except when I turned my head one last time to see Seonghwa, he was crying too. I had to remain strong for the males in my life and not shed a single tear.

The next following days were full of dark clouds, metaphorical and literal. The boys were either silent with their thoughts or burst out in anger. They fought with each other, Seongnam lashing out verbally while Mathieu usually responded physically.

I had to start sleeping with Mathieu in my bed to keep them separated at night. I slept better, oddly enough, with Mathieu drooling on my stomach as I stroked his hair until he slept.

The day the rain actually started was the same day I left the kids off with the local granny at my house. They promised to behave and listen to Granny but I was still worried. I didn't have much of a choice. My editor demanded I meet her back in the city.

The train into the city came at an ungodly hour in the morning but my appointment with my editor wasn't until late afternoon. I didn't have any friends to meet up with, taking care of Seonghwa for the past couple years had made me out of the loop of their lives and caused it to be awkward. And even once I met up with my editor, she only had bad news.

"Your stories need a new main love interest, Nari," she said, slamming the top of her laptop down with finality.

"What?!" I asked, rubbing my eyebrow.

"It's always a gentle man, with a kind smile and growly voice. The readers need something new to sink their teeth into," My editor insisted.

"How about an infuriating man who insists that he knows your heart better than you do and kisses you because of that," I grumbled under my breath.

My editor's eyebrows shot into her fringe. "That's perfect, actually, are you working on something I don't know about?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. I had said that flippantly, thinking of San, I hadn't meant that seriously. "I was kidding!"

My editor gave me a look that said she didn't believe me. "Well, if you do work on something, let me know, before you even write a first draft. No use working it all out if it's just a copy and paste of the last one."

I was dismayed to see that the rain was still going strong as I made my way home. The grayness of the day suited the way the day had gone but I felt like I needed some sunshine to brighten up my day. Alas, that didn’t seem like it was going to happen. The rain and the wind picked up so suddenly that once I walked off the train, the wind pulled my umbrella into a dance amongst the sky and left me at the mercy of the rain.

I rode my bike from the station, cursing the dark country roads. What was my editor thinking? A love interest like San? My readers would be outraged. They love my characters who always ask if they can kiss their beloved. They love the men who point up at a shooting star and then give a reason to put their arm around their beloved. They loved the love interests who kissed their pregnant wife's protruding belly, promising to be there for all of the unborn baby's life--

I squinted but the light coming from my bike was barely helping, and with the rain continuously and relentlessly whipping into my face and my glasses, I was bound for a crash. It happened almost instantly, my bike barreling into the ditch and sending me over the handlebars. I braced for impact and should have hit the ground hard, or a tree for that matter, but all I heard was an ‘oomph’.

"That's not how you fly, fallen star."

"I wasn't trying to fly, San!" I cried out in frustration and anger.

"Could have fooled me," San chuckled.

I was cradled in the forest spirit's arms, one arm under my back and the other under my legs. "Put me down."

San jutted his chin out in the direction of my bike. "You're not getting home with that anymore."

My bike was a mangled mess, the chain broken and a wheel bent. How much could I have hurt myself if not for San catching me? What would have happened to Seongnam and Mathieu? Angry tears began to fall down my cheek. Why did life have to be so hard right now?

"I can help you get home," San murmured.

"Are we going to float on toys?" I asked sarcastically, recalling what Mathieu had said.

"No." San began to climb out of the ditch, water running down his hair and down his face, eyes forward and determined. "Cat bus."

"Cat bus," I said with disbelief. "There are no buses around here, San," I deadpanned.

"Cat bus only reveals itself to people in need," San replied.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered under my breath.

San stood in the rain at the side of the road, without letting my feet touch the ground, like he expected something to pull around the corner--I jolted when two beams of light turned the corner of the road.

"Shut up," I whispered.

A bus in the shape of a cat with many legs ran to us. It had tiny rat's eyes as its red lights and it--it truly was a Cat Bus. San put us both on the bus and it ran across the hills and leapt over the forest and before I realized it, I was screaming. Not in fear, but in exhilaration. The speed raced through my veins and made me feel alive.

San lifted me once more when we arrived at my fix-it-up house and only put me down as he said, "My princess, your castle."

"Were you listening at the window when I told them that story?!" I demanded.

San simply shook his head like I was the silly one. "Of course not. The wind carries your stories to me. But more importantly, your children believe that you're the princess in that story. They believe that I was sent here so that you're not so lonely now that Papa is sick. They don't even think of themselves when they play with me. They are always thinking of you."

"Thank you for today," I said instead.

"Your heart called for me and I answered," San said simply.

I entered my house, soaking wet and instantly scared to death as Granny shouted at me. "There you are!"

My heart fell to my stomach at the look of worry on Granny's face. "Are my boys okay?!"

"They're fine--but Seonghwa!"

My legs gave out on me. Here I was, having an unbelievable experience with San and my Seonghwa was suffering. "What?"

"The hospice sent someone an hour ago!" Granny held my hands between her own. "Seonghwa's heart is weak. They want you and the boys there, in case--"

"Oh, God."

We rushed to the hospice, Granny calling her son to bring us in his UTV. I had Mathieu on my lap and Seongnam clutched to my side the entire ride. I didn't say a word to either of them but I think they knew exactly what was happening. They didn't know what this truly meant but it was like we had all been bracing for impact, like I had been when I fell off my bike. I winced. I don't think San could save us from this.

The nurses and the doctors rounded up the children and allowed me to go into Seonghwa's room first.

"Hwa," I whimpered.

He looked so fragile in his bed with all the wires attached to him and the machines beeping. He even had an oxygen mask over his face. And yet he still managed to smile at me. "How's my Northern Star?"

"Park Seonghwa," and then I started to cry.

I lied on the bed and sobbed because I was terrified to even touch him. Seonghwa's fingers ghosted the top of my head, the most he could reach. "Don't cry, Nari. I love you."

"I love you too!" I sobbed. "You promised when I was carrying Seongnam that you would be with us forever."

"Nari." I sat up but it only made it worse. Seonghwa was crying, biting down on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering. "I don't want to go either."

The tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face, and down my chin and down my neck. "You were supposed to get better."

"The doctor's tried their best," Seonghwa insisted, swallowing his tears. "The boys?"

"They…" I began to shake my head, "No, they can't see you like this, Hwa."

"Nari." I winced. Seonghwa rarely used his no-nonsense voice towards me.

I wiped my tears away as quickly and as best as I could and turned to leave. I gathered up Mathieu in my arms and took Seongnam's hand wordlessly.

"Mama?" Mathieu said my name like he was terrified.

"We need to have a family meeting," I said.

"I don't want to have a family meeting," Seongnam whimpered.

"We have to," I insisted and then re-entered Seonghwa's room.

Seonghwa shakily pulled off his oxygen mask. I heard the nurse begin to protest but the doctor shushed her. "Come give Papa a kiss," Seonghwa held open his arms to take Mathieu first.

"Papa," Mathieu whimpered. He gave a large smacking, wet kiss to Seonghwa's cheek. "Why do you look like a robot?"

Seonghwa smiled shakily. "Because they're turning me into one."

"Papa!" Seongnam really couldn't take his father's silliness, just like me. "Be serious."

Seonghwa patted the bed and Seongnam let go of my hand and went to his father. "I am serious, southern star."

Seonghwa was the one that told the bedtime story tonight. He spun a tale of a boy who was born with a heart that was too big and lungs that were too small. The boy had a long journey to find the wizard, and along the way he met two stars and a tiny cat. By the time the boy got a heart of diamond and lungs of steel, Seongnam and Mathieu were fast asleep. I didn't have the heart to move anyone but the nurse did insist on putting Seonghwa's oxygen mask back over his face. Eventually, they were all asleep and it was just me.

The doctor made sure that I had all the legal precautions in place for when, not if, Seonghwa's heart finally gave out and that was all I could take for my very, horrible day. I fell asleep, head on the bed, bent over in a chair pulled up to Seonghwa's bed, holding Seonghwa's hand.

🌳🌳🌳

The funeral made me feel like I was the one that passed away. I felt numb. I felt like I was floating. Nothing seemed real. Seonghwa’s happy face was at the front of the church but he wasn't here any longer. Countless people gave me their sympathies and cried but I had no more tears. The last ones I shed were on Seonghwa’s deathbed.

Going home after it all was the worst part. Seonghwa had never seen our house and now he never would. The house would never know of Seonghwa playing with his sons. The house would never hear Seonghwa’s laughter after he embarrassed himself. This house would never hold any memories of my husband and my boys Papa. This truly was a new fresh start for us all.

Everything seemed to be more gray after Seonghwa passed. I was numb for so long, only raising my head above water to take care of the children but the rest of the time my mind was empty and void. I could think of nothing, because if I did, I would break and not be able to provide for my boys.

The boys were devastated for days, I barely heard them play or laugh. They simple went about their days like they were required but I missed the days of hearing them squeal with happiness when I bid them home from the forest for lunch.

Eventually, I had to stop simply raising my head out of the water but to pull my body out completely.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey," I shouted as I brought down a wooden spoon several times on a pot.

"Mama?" Mathieu rubbed his eyes with his chubby fists.

"Mama!" Seongnam groaned, pulling his blankets over his head.

"The princess is summoning her most championed knights. Her highness has decided that there will be an outing to pick mushrooms and berries and to take a picnic with the forest spirit!" I shouted, leaning over Seongnam's body and making Mathieu giggle.

"Wait, a picnic? In the forest?" Seongnam ripped his blankets off himself and stared up at me. My heart almost broke at how excited he was.

"San?!" Mathieu screamed in glee and almost fell trying to get out of his bed.

"But first, the finest cooks in all the land have made bacon and eggs. We must consume the royal breakfast in order to leave the castle!" I declared.

After breakfast, I found a pink diaphanous scarf to dramatically throw over my shoulder. Mathieu acquired a bucket as his helm and Seongnam tied two sieves along his shoulders as his armor. My most trusted knights followed me into the forest as we sought out the forest spirit.

I thought about a time right before Seonghwa got very sick. Mathieu was around two, starting to learn how to walk and talk. Seonghwa had gotten sad that Mathieu didn't want to be held by his father as much anymore. So Seonghwa had declared that the floor was poisonous for the entire day and if anyone but an adult touched, they would hate their favorite food. Seongnam and I spent the entire day on our couch, snacking and watching movies. But Seonghwa spent the entire day dutifully carrying Mathieu everywhere his little heart desired. And when we all went to sleep that night, Seonghwa declared it the best day of his life.

"What do we have here?" San stepped out of the dappled forest shade.

Seongnam jumped in front of me, brandishing a stick he had found on the way and Mathieu mimicked him only with a tall flower he had found. "We are the princess' most trusted knights. Are you the fabled forest spirit?"

"Hmmm, depends on who is asking?" San pretended to think about it. "I know two boys who are my best friends. Are you the same knights?" San's eyes danced with amusement as he stared straight at me.

"San!" Mathieu pushed back his bucket. "It's us!"

San crouched in front of Mathieu. "Oh, Matty! There you are!"

"San?" Seongnam solemnly said the forest spirit's name.

"Is that you, Seongnam?" San exclaimed.

"Mama has never been to the Hollow." Seongnam's eyes slid to me, as if he felt guilty for never bringing me there.

San slapped his hands to his cheeks in shock. "You're right! How did this escape me?"

"Hollow! Hollow!" Mathieu chanted.

San put his hands under Mathieu’s arm and raised him to sit on his shoulders. San offered one hand to Seongnam, who clung to San's pinky and ring finger. San's other hand went to hold Mathieu’s leg to keep him in place on his shoulders. Seongnam looked up at San and there was hope and a smile on Seongnam's face. Mathieu was still chanting 'Hollow!' when he had been as quiet as a mouse for weeks.

At last San turned to look at me. "Aren't you coming, Princess?" San lifted his eyebrows in question.

I lifted my chin stubbornly and made a small 'hmph!' noise. "A princess leads, she does not follow!"

Mathieu giggled. "You don't know where it is, Mama!" Seongnam insisted, rolling his eyes, just like me.

I felt my heart burst. This moment felt normal. This felt real. I felt present and grounded and truly here. Something I haven't felt since…

"Come back, Fallen Star," San murmured.

"Mama?" Mathieu frowned.

"Mama isn't a fallen star!" Seongnam insisted stubbornly, "Papa always said, she's the northern star, she's how you find home!"

"She does feel like home, doesn't she?" San tilted his head.

Mathieu clearly didn't understand what was going on so he started changing Hollow again and I knew we had to move on. "Knight Star, lead the way." I motioned towards Seongnam.

"Follow me everyone!" Seongnam shouted.

As we walked, the four of us along the forest path, I wondered if it was possible that life could perhaps be less hard right now. Perhaps my lonely heart, and my son's, had summoned San. Perhaps… perhaps I could go back to being a Northern star; not a lonely star nor a fallen one. Perhaps, I would find love when I wasn't looking for it.

Taglist: @hijirikaww @mingsolo @starlitmark @starillusion13 @flurrys-creativity @stardragongalaxy @k-pop-ology

#ghiblicollab23 #kvanity #cultofdionysusnet #kwritersworldnet #pirateeznet #ateez angst #park seonghwa angst #hi it's just me in my sanhwa shit again #topaz's work #ღatz #choi san scenarios

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asherthehimbo · 5 months

Text

OKAY TITLE TRACK TIME

IMMA DO THE SONG FIRST THEN THE MV

SO CRAZY FORM SONG:

GET UP

IK I HEARD IT AT MAMMA BUT OMW THIS SONG FIRE

AYAYAYAYAYA

GO MINGI!!!!!

WOOOYOUNG

CANT U SEE IM A WANTED SIGN

IDK WHAT HE SAYING BUT THE WISPERING GETS ME

SAN GOING AYAYAYAY

TAKI TAKI DANCE TILL THE SUN RISING, TEKI TEKI NOBODY DANCE LIKE THIS!!

SPEAK UR TRUTH YEO

OKAY HONGJOONG EAT, THAT GIGGLE HE KNOWS HES EATING

OKAY SAN

JONGHO BUILD US UP COME ON

THE SLOW DOWN

OKAY BUILD UP AGAIN

AYE OYE WE CHANGING THE GAME, AYE OYE WE DANCING AND WE DANCE!!!

SPEAK UR TRUTH BABES

THIS SONG SO FIRE GUYS PLEASE I CANT DO THIS

A GROUP AYAYAYA

OKAY DAMN NOW THE MV

THE MILITARY OUTFITS

OKAY HOLD AWNNNN

YUNHO LOOKING SO FINE DOING HIS RECON THEN HAVING A BANDANA HALF COVER HIS FACE AND THEY SWITCH TO MINGI LOOKING SO SCRUMPTIOUS HELLOOOO

"GREEN FLAG STILL WAVING" YES BABY WHATEVER U SAY

JONGHO GAMBLING THEN SHOOTING PEOPLE WITH MINGI AT HIS SIDE HOLY SHIT

SEONGHWA??? HUH??? WHAT HELLO SIR"MY EGO'S IN THIS SHOW" PREACH

OKAY SAN I WILL DANCE ALONG

SANHWA LOOKING SO GOOD

YEOSANG SPRAY PAINTER ERA?? I LOVE A REBEL

SANS OUTFIT WHEN THEY IN THE PRISON/SCHOOL LOOKS SO FAMILIAR I JUST DONT KNOW WHERE I KNOW IT FROM

DID WOOYOUNG JUST PUT HIS ASS IN MY FACE HELLO???

HONGJOONG BEING CHASED BY POLICE ON THE NEWS IS SMTHN THAT SHOULDVE HAPPENED SOONER TBH

THE WAY HE GIGLES EVEN THO HES CORNERED AAAAARGGGG

THE PEOPLE DRAGGING SANHWA AWAY AND SAN JUST BLOWS A KISS IN THE AIR

MINGI SHRUGGING LIKE 🤷‍♂️ WHEN JONGHO IS LITERING THE PLACE WITH BULLETS

"AMBITION IN MY VEINS"!!!!

THEY SUCCEEDED THE PIRATE SHIP IS THERE LETS GO

OMW THEY ALL LOOK SO FINE PLEASE

ITS 8 AM IN THE MORNING I CANT HANDLE THIS

THE BLUE BIRD FROM HALAZIA HELLOO

#asher 🌑 speaks #Ateez wrecks Asher

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baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

HI I JUST WOKE UP I FEEL SO HAPPY BCS I FINALLY FIXED MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE PLSSS😭😭😭😭 IT TOOK MY MONTHS TO FUCKING FIX IT IM SO HAPPY i hope it doesnt get mesded up again🤪

ALSO WTF DO U MEAN THERE IS A CAT IN BODYGUARD HWA😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 ok fuck boxer hwa🙄 im going with team bodyguard hwa lmfao HSHZHHSHZHAHAHA pleek i need ateez with cats can u tell im desperate,, san fics with byeol have me om chokehold🤪

OJAY IM GOING TO WATCH BRISGERTON😚😚😚 I MUGHY START LATER AFTER I FINISHED SOME OF MY STULID SCHOOL WORK I SWEAR WJY CANT THIS MONTH GO BY FASTER🙄

IKRRR LIKE UR LITERALLY NEARING UR MENOPAUSE PLEEK STOP FIGHTINF SOMEONE WHO HASNT EVEB GRADUATED HIGHSCHOOL YET I SWEAR some of them just love fighting with teens for fun🙄 suddenly remembered that one teacher who literally talked shit abt my friend like 3 yrs ago in class while my friend was not in the room bcs she was part of the school officers😎 my friends mom kicked the teavhers ass(not literally) so it went fine HEJJDKWJDKW

PLEEK SANNIE AS FLYNN ESP BCS SANNIES HAIR IS LONGER NOW its blond but who cares BWKDKWJKSOWKEN BUT JOONG IS USUALLY THE ONE DOING THAT STUPID FACE FLYNN DID WHEN HIM AND RAPUNZEL FIRST MET😔😔😔

OMDHWUD I WATCH DYLANISINTROUBLE TOO i also watch the holy trinity ( kurtis danny drew) if im feeling a littly goofy🤪 bcs they only do movie commentaries on movies that are ass😭😭 which is very entertaining,, its also funny watching dylan trying to understabd movies for children HWSHJSHSHHAHAHAHAHAHA and complain abt college every other video😭😭😭 OOH I ALSO WATCH NICKISNOTGREEN TOO but he usually does videos abt stupid ppl wjich is also fun to watch AND HE HAS A CAT😔✊ WJDKJQNXJA if its not obvious yet,, i like commentary channels🤪

BESTIE CMON BOXER SANHWA😎😎😎😎

wHAIT HOLD UP HWKWJKS U ALMOSY CHANGED UR BIAS🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 i mean lol im like that but with wooyoung😚😚 NWKXKWLDKS NAUR DONT ABANDON US SHINESIMPS😭😭😭😭 but i understand😞😞 sannie is fucking hot pleese ITS NOT EASY CHOOSING A BIAS WHEN ALL OF THEM ARE LITERALLY WRITTEN BY WOMEN😭😭😭 my standards literally past heavn rn bcs its so high

PLEESEEE EVEN AFTER APPLYING LOTION ON MY ENTIRE BODY I STILL FEEL DRY QKDKKWJDJW

WDYM RIVAM FOOD MAJOR X READER😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟 PLEASE AKDKQKDKKQKS IF UR STRUGGLING WITH SWITXHING TO SANNIE I AM TOO WITH WOO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ELP MEEEEE

PLEASE NOT THE BAEKHVUSSY😭😭😭😭😭😭💀 NAURRR,, im glad u had a great dayyy!! please stay safe n healthy💕💕

also ateez with cats❤💗💓💘💝💞💞💟💌💟❣💝💗💖💕💘💓💕💖💌💟❣💞💝💗 or pets in general

-🍤

hI GOODMORNING FBF

HI I JUST WOKE UP I FEEL SO HAPPY BCS I FINALLY FIXED MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE PLSSS😭😭😭😭 IT TOOK MY MONTHS TO FUCKING FIX IT IM SO HAPPY i hope it doesnt get mesded up again🤪

BRWNDHEK HI HELLO 😭😭😭 DHWKHDS GLAD ITS BETTER NOW 😭😭😭

THERE IS ONE ITS SO CUTE AND FLUFFY U WILL SEE MR BODYGUARD HOLD IT OFTEN FBWNDHEJ THE SWITCH UP FHWKDHWK 😭😭😭😭😭 no fr <3 san and byeol <3 ☺️☺️ and yeosang with the hairstylists dog, candy? so mf cute

OJAY IM GOING TO WATCH BRISGERTON😚😚😚 I MUGHY START LATER AFTER I FINISHED SOME OF MY STULID SCHOOL WORK I SWEAR WJY CANT THIS MONTH GO BY FASTER🙄

PLS DO PLS DO IM BEGGING 😭😭😭😭 CANT GET ENOUGH OF IT 🔫🔫🔫

NO FR THWKDH WHATS THE POINT OF FIGHTING A KID WHOS HALF, EVEN HALFER THAN UR AGE 😭😭😭 love those teachers who pair two ppl crushing on each other’s up for a project 😩😩 pLS DBDBD

NO RIGHT HE SUITS HIM SO MUCH DBKWDJWK NAURRR 😭😭😭😭 UNDERRATED BUT HONGJOONG AS FLYNN >>

BEMWDHKWDKD DYLANS FLOP COLLEGE SENDS ME ABSOLUTELY AND HIS NOSE RING PLS 😭😭😭 GONNA CHECK OUT THE OTHERS TN FBFB CAT?? CAT?? im in.

BESTIE CMON BOXER SANHWA😎😎😎😎

DHWMBDKW NO STOP IT 🔫🔫😭

I ALMOST DID BUT IM BACK TO SEONGHWA, PRIMARILY BC OF BODYGUARD HWA AND THE ATEEZMAKEMEWEEP FUCKBOY HWA 😭😭😭😭 san’s blond hair evokes someone in me like so much i changed bias?? 😭😭😭😮‍💨

but im back to my roots.

PLEESEEE EVEN AFTER APPLYING LOTION ON MY ENTIRE BODY I STILL FEEL DRY QKDKKWJDJW

NAURURURURURUR 😭😭😭😭 IT MUST BE INSANE HOT

WDYM RIVAM FOOD MAJOR X READER😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟 PLEASE AKDKQKDKKQKS IF UR STRUGGLING WITH SWITXHING TO SANNIE I AM TOO WITH WOO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ELP MEEEEE

☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

PLEASE NOT THE BAEKHVUSSY😭😭😭😭😭😭💀 NAURRR,, im glad u had a great dayyy!! please stay safe n healthy💕💕

LMFAOOOO ALL MY BAEKHVUSSY DHWNHDDK I PUT IT ALL IN THE ASKS 😭🔫

also ateez with cats❤💗💓💘💝💞💞💟💌💟❣💝💗💖💕💘💓💕💖💌💟❣💞💝💗 or pets in general

no so true, but ateez with me ❤💗💓💘💝💞💞💟💌💟❣💝💗💖💕💘💓💕💖💌💟❣💞💝💗 LMFAOOOO

#✉️ : ask #🍤 anon

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atinybitofau · 4 years

Text

S A N ⇾ couple au

THE “I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE” COUPLE (ft. THIRD WHEEL SEONGHWA)

a/n: I don’t think I write good San imagines man. I’m sorry but I’m a sanhwa shipper. I just had to.

• here’s the thing about San.

• you love him to death— obviously.

• and would you do almost anything for him?

• absolutely.

• does he love you?

• I mean, he should.

• after all he is your BEST FRIEND.

• you get it?

• b e s t f r i e n d.

• and here you two go again.

• first Saturday of the month and San’s already getting picky about your date next Friday.

• “There’s absolutely no question. I am going on that date, Mark my words.”

• he glares at you from across the room, lips covered by the opening of his cup.

• Seonghwa looks from the center, glancing back and forth at the growing tension of you both.

• always being the third wheel of course.

• he doesn’t mind though.

• he kind of ships you two together anyway.

• “Um.... you know, the popcorn’s not going to cook itself.”

• you ignore Seonghwa for the mean time while you glare back at your other best friend, “San. Don’t look at me like that.”

• he shrugs. “I’m not looking at you like anything.”

• you deadpan. “Really?”

• “I already told you. You aren’t going on that date. Even if I have to handcuff you to my bed for the whole day.”

• you let out a guttural groan. “San! Seriously?!”

• Seonghwa secretly reaches for your cupcake on the table to which you grab his arm juggling between controlling him and controlling San.

• “You can’t be serious. Hongjoong?! You’re gonna go out with Kim Hongjoong?” San reiterates not confident in moving closer to you.

• your eyes narrow. “And what’s wrong with Hongjoong?”

• he thinks because it’s not him.

• it should be him

• each. time.

• but he can’t seem to break that stupid facade he puts up as your best friend.

• thinks that’s how you two should only ever see each other.

• it’s all he can take.

• “N-nothing. I just think there are better guys that you can go on a date with.”

• “Really.” you airily reply. “Who.”

• he glances over at the tall and quiet man in front of you who’s now face buried into your cupcake.

• “Seonghwa?”

• “Ew.”

• you roll your eyes at Seonghwa’s gruntled disapproval. “Why would I go on a date with Seonghwa? We’ve gone on plenty.”

• San’s teeth grit at your obvious obliviousness.

• “Y/n, if you want to go on this date. Then Seonghwa and I are chaperoning.”

• “We’re what?”

• “YOU’RE WHAT?!”

• It isn’t that Seonghwa detests it.

• it’s just...

• he can’t believe how long it’s taking San to admit his undying love for you.

• wondering how long it’ll take until the both of you can’t take it anymore.

• “San, this is out of line! I’ve never gone and secretly monitored YOUR good-for-nothing dates.”

• “That’s because you don’t care enough.”

• your head cocked to the side with softer eyes and a slouching posture.

• you knew San.

• you also knew that he loved your attention.

• loved it when you sounded angry when he went on dates.

• loved it whenever you were displeased by them—

• it gave him nice hope.

• albeit false but still nice to his breaking heart.

• “Fine. But no effort will be made.” you point a finger at your two best friends. “No effort to show Hongjoong you two idiots are following me. Promise?”

• “Promise.”

• San promises well.

• usually can keep a good promise.

• but by the looks of how much you smile, hold Hongjoong’s hand, laugh at his jokes,

• San’s about ready to combust.

• “Hyung, I can’t take it anymore.”

• Seonghwa bites into his burger sloppily while glancing across at a sunglassed San. “Hdkhmf.”

• “What?”

• “I said,” Seonghwa swallows. “Have some faith. Y/n’s gonna be dateless her entire life if you keep letting her live this way.”

• San huffs and sits back in jealously watching Hongjoong’s every move.

• hoping Hongjoong isn’t brave enough,

• not braver than he is to actually make a move.

• “What’s so bad about Hongjoong, anyway? He’s handsome, talented, wealthy, kind, parent approved, and above all likes y/n. Isn’t that the goal to your possessiveness?”

• San’s eyes frown with his smile and Seonghwa thinks it’s sad.

• Cause he loves the both of you and wants the best for you two.

• but it’s not his fault San can’t man up.

• Seonghwa glances at your pretty form before smiling to himself. “You know, lately, y/n hasn’t been happy. And maybe.. maybe it’s because of you.”

• San’s ready to combust at this point.

• knowing Seonghwa’s just trying to push his buttons enough.

• enough for him to confess.

• obviously wants you.

• but is too afraid of gettinv hurt.

• “Why would she ever love a guy like me when she could have a man like him?”

• San doesn’t know it either.

• how instead of laughing at Hongjoong’s jokes,

• you’re more laughing at the ridiculous disguises your two bestfriends wore.

• how dumb San looks sulking in front of a messy eater like Seonghwa.

• how you smile whenever you see San smile.

• how your eyes just naturally look for him.

• he doesn’t know you want it.

• you want him just as much as he wants you.

• but you’re too afraid of hurting him.

• him hurting you.

• “Hongjoong.. do you ever think that San will ever ask me out?”

• Hongjoong sips on his coke. “I sure hope so or I would’ve wasted my time yet again.”

• you laugh rolling your eyes at him. “I don’t think this whole jealous ploy is working. San’s just sitting there.”

• “Well,” Hongjoong playfully leans forward over the table making your eyebrows curved in curiosity. “That’s because you’re doing every boring thing you usually do on all your dates.”

• your face blushes when he moves his close lips hovering yours. “A-and what don’t I do, Joong?”

• “Kiss them?”

• your eyes slowly shut when the adjacent leans in right when a blow of air hits you instead of his lips.

• eyes open and jaw agape, you find your date lying across the restaurant floor covered in his sticky cola.

• and San’s heaving a storm.

• hands curled up in fists and body trembling.

• Seonghwa’s attempting to hold him back just as in horror as the entire room.

• “S-san!” Hongjoong automatically coughs up blood and you’re at his side. “Joong, you okay? Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

• he throws his competitor a heavy glare before waving you off kindly. “It’s fine. I understand.”

• “San.” you fierce a dark stance towards the man who fights for you. Sometimes too hard. “What about no effort did you not understand?”

• “I can’t take this shit anymore. If I’m gonna storm out of here losing you, I’m not gonna leave without punching the man I lost you to right in the face.”

• your fingers lighten as you watch him leave,

• maybe taking the punch harder than Hongjoong did,

• and Seonghwa sighing defeatedly in front of you.

• “I can’t take this shit anymore.” he throws his hand up repeating after San. “If you don’t tell him something, nothing is gonna work out. You two together is better than you two apart. Obviously it’s killing our entire friendship and my god damn appetite. Now go fucking follow him or I won’t hesitate to punch you both in the face for ruining my lunch!”

• you spin on your heels before kissing Seonghwa on the cheek and Hongjoong too of course,

• running after the love of your life.

• you think he could probably kill someone from how he’s temperamentally stomping on the ground where he walks.

• people staring at him like he’s crazy.

• right before you grab him by the wrist and plant the kiss he interrupted earlier on his lips instead.

• he pulls back, horrified.

• now pouting at you like he’s on the verge of crying.

• “Don’t— don’t do that.”

• “San—“

• “Don’t!” he doesn’t care for the crowd that walks by as he announces his frustration. “Don’t act like you love me just because I can’t have you.”

• “What?”

• “I don’t know! I’m just saying what I’m thinking! I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact you just kissed me so go with it!”

• you giggle at the way he babbles.

• the way his lips fastly stutter and how his cheeks are redder than his ears.

• you take his sharp jawline in your palms before pressing a much more gentler kiss on his trembling lips.

• the way he melts against you saying enough.

• “I love you.” his tear falls on your cheek when he whispers. “I.. I’m sorry.”

• “Don’t be sorry, Sannie.”

• he curls his hand around your cheek and sighs between your pursed lips. “I thought that you don’t deserve me. That if I had you, it’ll make us worse. Make us break. How loving you past the line of best friends would hurt the both of us. But I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take loving you till only that much anymore.”

• he kisses you again and you’re weak at the knees. “I love you and Seonghwa so much. Regardless if I date someone else, or any of you for that matter, won’t hurt me. But it hurts you... I know it hurts you.”

• “But I love you so much it hurts.” he’s crying again. “I want to love you so much. That what I love you right now isn’t enough? I want to love you till I can’t think of doing anything else. I love Seonghwa hyung too but not as much as I love you.”

• “Pabo.” you tip toe kissing his salty tears away as he grips you tighter. “We promised to love each other equally.”

• “Don’t tell hyung.” softie San cries again. “Hyung’s gonna hate me.”

• “Seonghwa’s not gonna hate you for loving me a little more.” you retreat looking at him from far away. different now that you’ve kissed his lips for the first time. “Seonghwa doesn’t hate me for loving you more. Why would he hate you?”

• “You love me more than hyung?”

• “To an extent, yes.” you giggle kissing the blabbering lover boy again. “That baboon eats all my food. Do I have to remind you who spoils me between the both of you or do I need to ask you to kiss me again?”

• “K-kiss me again?”

• “Pabo.”

• his teeth grin against your smile and you can’t take it anymore.

• you need to take him home.

• “I love you.” he reminds you,

• thinking,

• thinking he’s gonna be reminding you for the rest of his life.

@atinybitofau

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baekhvuns · 10 months

Note

BAEK WHAT'S WITH THE "MATURE" CONTENT AGAIN, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THAT'S APPARENTLY SO MATURE 😭🧐😂

Anyways, I need to split the message into 2 separate ones cause it won't send 🙄 guess I had a lot to say

London who? I don't know her! I've lived in Prague for a while, so I'm okay with it, was thinking of going back to Berlin actually, but I'll see how it goes!

About SM, I was really hoping for Taeyeon's come back, but now... and Fifty Fifty are truly speed running the kpop experience, escaped nugudom quickly, got a massive hit, now they're suing. I can't believe SM is thinking of debuting a new gg NOW?! I'm so sick and tired of them. Now they announced more rookies, probably for NCT Tokyo if it's still happening :V why remove Sungtaro just to add one Korean and one Japanese rookie???

Okay so Hear Me Out! I like it more that I imagined? It's chill, but catchy, finally a song I can easily listen to, but it's not too boring and coming from me it's a big compliment hahdhaggagshahasgga I like that it's lowkey, even though EXO deserves better, but at least they didn't give them a song with 10 switches, chanting and cringy lyrics. I'm curious about the title track! And BAEK, TEN, TAEYONG X TAEMIN CHALLENGE??? Man is collecting SuperM, to think we could've gotten Kai too... :(

Mr Byun Bakehyun's teaser photos? 👀 Again, simple teasers, yet impactful and nice looking. KQ can't relate 🤡🤡🤡 I was browsing through Pinterest and came across some cybercore photos, literally taken with smartphones and they looked more aesthetically pleasing and interesting than whatever Ateez has going on 😭

AND MINHO X SANHWA AAAAAAA WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING DIED! Finally manifested something good 😭😭😭❤❤❤

But this comeback is bitter sweet, because of Onew, Kibum has a cold, Taemin fell off the stage?! Why are they cursed :/// but I'm still happy to see them back, I watched Idol Human Theater and they were as weird as ever

Omg, is this another unpopular and controversial NCT take, but... I can't enjoy Haechan's vocals, he can sing, but his tone is too nasal for my liking, I know he contrasts well with other 127 vocalists, but 😭 and sometimes they mess with his voice and add autotune so it makes it worse. I don't really listen to Dreamies, but I definitely think he fits them more, I know both him and Mark love their groups, but be fr, they shouldn't be that overworked.

When I heard Jamal rap in 2 Baddies my heart dropped, glad he got Perfume at least. And now he's playing a murderer?! See, but 127 could totally do some rock/metal shit, something like Guerrilla and let Yuta scream! SM let Yuta yell challenge, he needs it! Or even something like Taeyong's Ghost, especially after the switch up when the song went a bit crazy insane. I got the vision 👀 SM hire me so I can bring some justice and infiltrate the HQ

Btw, finally the whole cover, perhaps he read our messages 👀 (ok, but I mentioned the cover to him, so what if he listened to me ahgdhagshshsgshs - delulu) https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuEx-7fIBm2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Btw how's that Yunho fic been treating you? 😅 I need to re-read Bodyguard soon for the anniversary - DV 💖

i actually hate it here bc i answered this entire ask and it did not save ☺️☺️

BAEK WHAT'S WITH THE "MATURE" CONTENT AGAIN, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THAT'S APPARENTLY SO MATURE 😭🧐😂 /// Anyways, I need to split the message into 2 separate ones cause it won't send 🙄 guess I had a lot to say /// London who? I don't know her! I've lived in Prague for a while, so I'm okay with it, was thinking of going back to Berlin actually, but I'll see how it goes!

NO BC IM ACTUALLY SO MAD AT THEM THEY DO THIS EVERY ASK AND I HAVE TO SEND IN THE REVIEW FOR IT LIKE COMEON and now i had answered this entire ask. but tumblr glitched. and. i don’t have anything. TO PRAGUE??? ANON WHERE HAVE U NOT LIVED ATP??? LIKE I GOTTA START A YOUTUBE TRAVEL VLOG CHANNEL I WILL BE UR PATERON SUBSCRIBER, EXTRA MONEY OM THE SIDE SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TO ME ANON 🤚🏻🤚🏻let’s see if this gets labeled 😭😭

ur right i wish they treat her better esp w the concerts and the mismanagement she’s experiencing, like sm?? this is so true bc this is how it feels like

NOOO LITERALLY I JUST KNOW RHEY WILL DEBUT A 9 NUMBER GG THAT RESEMBLES SNSD AND FHEN PUT THEM IN KWANGYA, MY EXACT QUESTION??? WHY TAKE SUNGTARO OUT IF UR GONNA PUT THEM IN DIFF FONTS BACK IN NCT??? glad to have the resonance album bc at least they were in it even for 1 second 😭😭😭

it’s chill it’s catchy it’s warm it’s exo! and it’s so lowkey, makes me smile whenever i hear it ive been playing it any chance i get bc the “head me out hear me out” is STUCK IN MY HEAD like the song be making ur hips move and im into this! proper bside material 🤚🏻 YEAH IM GLAD THEY DIDNT GIVE THEM THE KWANGYA LYRICS and the way they were supposed to collab w h.e.r. sm ent im about to end u. sometimes i just wish that pink one looks too good the photos seem pretty litty 😭😭

the title track is called cream soda….and is a apparently very sexy with sensual vocals?? and a mix of kokobop and love shot?? yeah it’s over for me. I SAW THAT BAEK X TAEMIN AND SUPERM CRUMBS 😭😭😭 THEY BOTH LOOKED SO CUTE DBWNHDKW and for that, fUCK RAVI. KAI IS DEVOURING THE VAMPIRE CONCEPT SO LIKE CHEST, BED ROOM EYES AND FRAT BOY LOOK FHWKFHWK FUCK RAVI FUCK SM !!!!! looked at the track list for the album and this album is about fucking and???

now. do not even get me started on that. i saw them when i was in bed, just barely had woken up eyes but and w the new twt update i was panicking and then the photos dropped and when i tell u. i fell. i FELL.

CUNTRESS IS IN THE HOUSE THE EYESHADOW BAEKHYUN US BACK!!! 200K LIKES AND 30K QUOTES??? STOP LOOKING AT HIM???? yes!! simple but effective, they let their features and makeup and filters do the work, the rest is up to the photographer pls kq look at them 😭😭 those atz edits w cyber core is so much better like kq pls hire some atinys atp we volunteer to be the pictorial management

Also I still haven't made up my mind about the album, like it has its moments, but I don't feel like listening to it apart from Bouncy, even some of my non-Atiny friends love it so it did something to my brain 😭 /// AND MINHO X SANHWA AAAAAAA WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING DIED! Finally manifested something good 😭😭😭❤❤❤

i agree, i only listen to the bouncy chorus part and haven’t gone back to it,, LMFAOOO TELL THEM TO STAY AWAY FROM SEONGHWA HE BITES !!! NO FBWJDJW WE WON WE LITERALLY WON?? AND SANS DAD KNOWING MINHOS FAMILY LIKE HE GOT MORE CONNECTIONS THAN SAN 😭😭😭😭

Love your thoughts on Hard and agree, this is my AOTY, sorry to everyone else! I get that people may dislike Hard, but certain Shawols are so annoying, Shinee isn't just View and Replay, this is the group who released RDD for fuck's sake, haven't they heard Alive...? They're no strangers to weird music, and Hard isn't even that experimental... these fans know what's up https://twitter.com/SaraOT5/status/1674250382044721152?t=3j6cx8BgfEE7d1WuMd6onw&s=19 /// But this comeback is bitter sweet, because of Onew, Kibum has a cold, Taemin fell off the stage?! Why are they cursed :/// but I'm still happy to see them back, I watched Idol Human Theater and they were as weird as ever

NO CAUSE HARD IS MY SOTY!!!!! i randomly do the hard like a criminal and the step any chance i get like im doing it as i type this,, it’s my new rover after bouncy 😭😭😭NO THEY ARE RIGHT!! ppl say they want a diverse discography and when they get it it’s still a problem??? like damned if u do damned if u don’t??? like yeah they aren’t gonna do replay forever??? replay came out a decade ago like let it go?? ppl need to enjoy music and it’s diversity,, at least it’s not the same!! “they were as weird as ever” ah what a relief 😮‍💨

okay i can def see points made here esp about the auto tune part where it messes w his voice his voice absolutely fits dreams, they’ve got some good songs! very classic boyband but nct core,, maybe that’s why his tone fits their songs better, slightly fitted to towards slowed songs esp ballads! NO BC SOMEONE GOTS TO CHECK MARKS CONTRACT AND IF HES BEING PAID

JAMAL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOO BFQKHDWK JUMPSCARE NAURR 😭😭😭 his voice in perfume sounds so pretty!! ANS A MURDERER??? i hope it doesn’t like jinx him bc all nct projects like this fuck them over and never see the day of light i just hope it works out bc i wanna see him play a psycho role <33 UR RIGHT NCT COULD DO GUERRILLA SO WELL AND YES LET YUTA SCREAM 😭😭😭 no bc sm gotta hire us, at least we can fix their mess and mass clean their hq

IM NOT RVWNBFBWKFHWKD HE DID THIS FOR U !!!! IT WAS FOR U HE HEARD U !!!! IDC WE ARE DELULU TONIGHT HE DID THIS FOR U!!!

Btw how's that Yunho fic been treating you? 😅 I need to re-read Bodyguard soon for the anniversary - DV 💖 /// Part 2 lol (hope it sends, the fuck is going on with this website. It's still better than Twitter, but still 💀)

see the thing is i have it ready, i have the teaser ready all set up and tagged, but i get extremely nervous to post bc it’s been so long and i have been trying to post since friday and i just talk myself out if bc i become scared 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Omggg, Don't get me started on yet another New Jeans controversy. Dumb fucks trying to justify MHJ's behaviour every single time??? Why are they dickriding her so hard?! I don't get why NJ's have such deranged fans. See, ETA is an unfortunate title, but it could be a coincidence and I could totally believe it was supposed to mean Estimated Time of Arrival if it wasn't for the names?! This bitch feeds off attention (fitting) whether it's positive or negative and people eat it up every single time. Ofc the song and MV won't be centred around terr*rism (at least I hope so), but the inspo is there anyway... I had to block someone I know for being annoying about it

NOO, LITERALLY EVEYRTING U SAID HERE FACTUAL!!!! i actually do not one bit believe that she did not know anything about this, trying to stir up stuff so ppl talk about the comeback, abspielte pathetic,, sure the title eta os random (honestly ive never heard of this name before) but the names???? THE NAMES???? i can’t fathom the fact that she knew what she was doing yet is still gonna use it as an aesthetic??? idk if this a hybe thing bec do u rmr the polls?? 😭😭

Speaking of comic/manga theme, don't know if you've seen the covers of Pentagon's Love or Take https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2UI4HR2dYn0 I own all the versions and they're so pretty!

I HAVENT NOT AND IM OBSESSED BC WHAT THE FUCK???? i need this bad this is such a refreshing concept like omg??? kq pls 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1674135298790379522?t=bBkkShDrAMx-DXs9YhXB2g&s=19 <- BESTIE WE NEED TO MANIFEST HARDER LIKE, HE'S SURROUNDING HIMSELF WITH YSL AND BEGGING AT THIS POINT 😭 I just don't understaaaaaaaand. He's a popular member, looks like a model, why aren't they calling him?!?!?! All the gifts from Lego and Animal Crossing are cute, but come one fashion world DON'T PISS ME OFF

HES ASKING FOR IT COMEON YSL LISTEN TO HIM 😭😭😭😭 need him to go there and pretend to be THE guy 😭😭😭 kq gotta hurry bc ive heard the manager’s set them up with brands idols want and get connections 😭😭😭😭

Btw, not to be that Shitstar, but this https://twitter.com/helytes/status/1672898558285021188?t=uzX2UfZQWUqzoAFyG3UE0g&s=19 annoyed me, like wtf bitch?! Sure I clowned him for not being a gangster, but if you watched all the Bouncy challenges or his fan cams (gotta rant about this too, because his fan cams this cb are really baaaad, he's always hidden, either by cameramen or... Hongjoong's crotch 😭) you'd see that he SELLS the concept well. Not sure why KQ decided to underutilise him, they gave him the rap part which was a big event for some people, but other than that he's invisible (sorry he got them awful grillz too...) idk something about it is just... iffy. Just had to vent 🤧

no wait ive also noticed the fancams being blocked or filmed horribly 😭😭😭 UR RIGHT HE SELLS THE CONCEPT, his swagger and the facial expressions (keep that tongue inside mr park) + the way he carries himself around the concept is just immaculate,, the grills and the constant way he shows it off irks me for like no apparent reason 😭😭😭

Did this for us, our sweet Shawol and such a successful fan! https://twitter.com/pshsource/status/1674030496521547778?t=NfhIMOBKvKmp2eKbaDCg7A&s=19

never been this jealous of hwa and san of meeting shinee like that 😀

Also bestie what's with Neymar, I saw that he cheated, but only read his apology yesterday and 🤡🤡🤡🤡 embarrassing. When people apologise for cheating and act dramatic like that I can't help but laugh, even though it's such a shitty situation obviously. You wanted to get wet with someone else and now you're acting like a lovesick Jane Austen male lead??? And the girl is pregnant 💀💀💀💀 footballers stay faithful challenge

LMFAOOOO NO BC I SAW THAT AND LAUGHED SO HARD LIKE HE MADE A WHOLE POST ABT IT HES SO EMBARRASSING AND DURING BRUNA BEING PREGNANT??? SCREAMED BC BRUNAS SISTER WAS THE FIRST ONE TO TREAT HIM LIKE AN ADULT THIS STORY HAD ME CRYING TBWKFJAJJDQLBDWK he’s a player on and off the field like messi truly the only good guy i guess 😭😭

and the way he’s having a daughter, yeah that’s his karma for cheating she’ll show him 🤚🏻

Started King the Land and it's so cliche, but the right type of cliche for me and Yoona x Junho are so good together. Not them getting dating rumours already nsgsjahshaggsgsgaha??? Hilarious, but also the amount of people shipping them, lol, their chemistry is truly great

I DBWKDHAK I KEEP GASPING AT JUNHO LIKE HE FITS THE ROLE SO WELL??? he’s styled so well and i just, i just i get the butterflies when i see him <3 he’s sick and the mole on his nose bridge god 😭😭 in my absolute peak, PEAK delulu era,, UR RIGHT ITS THE RIGHT AMT OF CLICHE I ACTUALLY LOVE IT,, when yoona says “wait im going to war??” and he just loses it hAD ME CRYING 😭😭😭 NO BC I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE THE NEWS I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEY ARE NOT DATING I HAVE A GUT FEELING IT MIGHT BE MORE THAN JUST DATING anyway this is me AND IM A DELULU BC OF THIS THEY LOOK SO WELL TOGETHER TOO

but do u know what we need. a woo do hwan ceo au. idc someone has to do it, after the drama w lee minho seeing him in that suit had me drooling

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuAsHUaABJw/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== LIKE DO U SEE HIM

Nah this is crazy, because if Ten was a London boy and art student chances are we would meet and... imagine that 😮 https://twitter.com/TENsfeed/status/1675848474494119936?t=Ii-TKhJWZ9sCHAqmxh6lvA&s=19 - DV 💖

STOP??????? HE WOULDVE BEEN BRI’ISH?? IMAGINE THAT??? and if u were friends w him 🤨 will start my delulu bc if mark wasn’t in nct right now he would’ve been in town 😭😭😭

also this is so fucking funny he’s so nosy 😭😭😭😭 i love it

my two worlds uniting like 😭😭

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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baekhvuns · 1 year

Note

I was dreading to open your blog and read your reply, cause I knew the slander would be too much 😐😐😐😐 I'm simply closing my eyes. Blocking the haters (aka user baekhvuns). I actually stayed up late to watch the match and it was not worth it, thankfully Sanhwa went live and their Lego shenanigans were more exciting 💀 I kept yelling "wake up, Madrid, Ancelotti use your fucking brain and Gavi get off the pitch!". Benzema in his salty era, yikes, I know he's mad that his goal was offside and so am I, but come on.

Moving on........

I just hope that if the allegations against Gr**nw**d are true, the girl won't go through the same shit again. 🙃

Yeah the Atiny I met has been following Atz around since last year, that's why I blocked her and stopped interacting with her recently. She's not dangerous, but how manu times do you have to see them? That Judy girl is so fucked, she thinks she's doing something??? And is besties with NCT???

Fucking LSM destroying his own company, ffs I've always said he'd be the downfall of SM. Chris Lee what a dumb greedy bitch, no wonder these two are related. But speaking of dumb people. The delusion and saviour complex is huuuuuge. And did you see that "SM with Hybe" Twitter account???

Avocados don't like snow so I'm not shocked your uni closed ajshaisshhajahwkkaa. Pls stay inside it's safer and cosier 😭. Omfg knife crime typical London behaviour, sigh. Paris is bad too lol, not the safest place, Berlin is better, but the city is also on my shitlist, too privileged. Kai you don't need to go there

"Your guys's hierarchy" hey, don't group me with them Brits, I'm just an outsider who has been studying the UK behaviour for years 😭 Brummie accent was once voted the least appealing, but foreigners are obsessed with it cause of PB, so hilarious. I like beans on toast, I'm afraid... BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE ME BRITISH OKAY.

I remember when Hwa apologised he couldn't dye his hair black yet, because of Imitation?!?!? Some people had the audacity to comment on the grey hair 🔫🔫🔫🔫

Cornish accent is sometimes called "the most American of UK's accents" but they're not like deep South, Cornwall is nice and fun! I guess the difference between most Southern English accents and Cornish is that they roll their "Rs". I have some friends from there, one got into performing school as a child and they asked her mother if she could "get rid of the village accent" huh?! She wasn't even from a village

Breaking Wommys hearts kusuahsjsjauaah but I'm not complaining 🥰 yes to fencer or racer Hwa

WHAT did you just say about the nose 🔫🔫🔫 my feelings are soft, I just wanna perform some cannibalism ok. let me bite Seonghwa's nose in peace!

Finally some Atz x fashion interaction! Seonghwa next pls 🤗

Liking anything when you're over 25 is illegal Baek, so have fun while it lasts. Later it's just taxes, mortgage, 2 shifts etc. no happy days in sight 🤗

Everyone's screaming shaking and crying trying to find Seonghwa's winter MD, but ever since I saw the blurred previews I knew I had to have him, so I'm safe! I'M GONNA EAT HIM I REALLY WILL!!!! THE HEART BLUSH?!?!?!? I'M UNWELL

This is bad for me, a cat boys enthusiast 🙄

Pls look away OP, you don't need to perceive him. In constant battle with myself, because I wanna gatekeep Seonghwa, but also want everyone to know and praise him 🤧

My rockstar gf! and Mingi toooooo

I'm on the floor actually. The 2nd photo 🥴🥴🥴🥴

👀👀👀 but girlie was stressed msjsjdjsjabsnswjsh

Hwa is watching The Alchemy of Souls, I won. Also TAoS Hwa AU...... 😊

And can we talk about KQF2 name... it's pronounced"SAIKERS"?! Say XIKE lmaoooo - DV 💖

hello!!

anon… ur in for a ride,,, both ur teams LMFAOOO 😭😭😭😭 BARCA COOKED!!!! HUMILIATION? HUMILIATION !!!!! AND WITHOUT OUR MAJOR PLAYERS???? GETFOOO AGAINST THE SAME REAL MADRID??? HELP RHQKDHQKDHKW TAKE GAVI OUT???? TAKE VINI OUT BRO WAS WWE-ING ON THE GROUND AND DIDN’T GET A RED AND DISRESPECTING THE REF???? 🔫🔫🔫 and now the second leg with pedri, dembele, lewa ???? cOOKING !!!! forever rm’s owners <;3 no wonder they got bodied

mOVING ON DEBKBJFBJQ TO THIS

and man united ??? 7-0??? LMFAOOOO?????? WHAT THE FUCK??? THIS IS TERRIBLE FHWNHDK

I just hope that if the allegations against Grnwd are true, the girl won't go through the same shit again. 🙃 /// Yeah the Atiny I met has been following Atz around since last year, that's why I blocked her and stopped interacting with her recently. She's not dangerous, but how manu times do you have to see them? That Judy girl is so fucked, she thinks she's doing something??? And is besties with NCT???

tbh i hope someone finds a loophole in the case and gets him to be held accountable, his careers def gone & he’s def not playing for the england national team 🤚🏻 they’re already shit wouldn’t want them to become even more,,,

anon ur friends are 👁questionable👁 NOOO SRS THE NCT JUDY GIRLIE WHAT IN THE WORLD ???? hoping sm sues her bc what tf?? their bodyguards need to bodyslam her some sense

????? he’s nicer than me fr

THEYRE SO 😭😭😭 WHAT EVEN IS THIS “kpop is slowing down” it never was that famous to begin with!!! its really mostly on twt which for some = worldwide,,, but i have to say even those not remotely into kpop know solder sm groups,, i wonder why kpop slowed down,,, maybe bc everything is about achievements now 🔫🔫 the saviour complex of this company and man needs to be studied,, the music quality deteriorated and now mr hybe will come to save it with it’s auto tune <3 one thing i liked about sm was the insane music quality they had,,, doing this shitshow online is so tragic to see,,, I DID AND WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHIT IS THAT 😭😭😭😭 the artists coming on their bubble to say “i don’t know what’s happening but im with u” bro 😭😭😭

WILL DO 🫡 no bc wth is this knife problem in uk 😭😭😭 there’s so many true crime cases on it like??? kINVES BELONG IN THE KITCHEN KEEP THEM THERE! i feel like france and ny is the same thing,, the pickpocketing 😭🤚🏻 speaking of berlin,,, is this an accurate representation FBKWHDKW

YEAH SO TECHNICALLY UR A BRIT 🔫 u become what u eat and live in 🤚🏻 no bc the brummie accent, and the nottingham accent how DO U EVEN UNDERSTAND THEM one of my cousins is from nottingham and she spoke to me and i ???? went pass my head,, so fast i just stared at her nodded <3 STOPPPPP THATS SO NASTY MY FATHER HAS AN OBSESSION WITH THE BEANS ON TOAST WHY DO U ALL EAT LIKE ITS STILL WW1 COME ON 😭😭😭 UR BRITISH RBWMDHWK PEAK BRITISH

sorry what is this

I remember when Hwa apologised he couldn't dye his hair black yet, because of Imitation?!?!? Some people had the audacity to comment on the grey hair 🔫🔫🔫🔫

some people should have their rights taken away

AHHHHHHH hopefully they’re not just exactly like how americans are personality wise,, NOT THE VILLAGE ACCENT NOOOO 😭😭😭😭yOU GUYS ARE BRUTAL CALLING THEM OUT ON EVERYTHING 😭😭

Breaking Wommys hearts kusuahsjsjauaah but I'm not complaining 🥰 yes to fencer or racer Hwa /// WHAT did you just say about the nose 🔫🔫🔫 my feelings are soft, I just wanna perform some cannibalism ok. let me bite Seonghwa's nose in peace!

wommy’s need to be shown their place 🤚🏻 not but there’s seriously like no woo fics in atiny writing community now 😭😭 fencer hwa and a racer hwa,, but what about a hockey player hwa <33 I SAID NOTHING ???? WHAT DID U READ 📸💥📸💥 📸 i saw this video the other day that explained ur liking for vampires i WILL find it by the next time i answer this HOPEFULLY why bite when u can take a seat

Finally some Atz x fashion interaction! Seonghwa next pls 🤗 /// Liking anything when you're over 25 is illegal Baek, so have fun while it lasts. Later it's just taxes, mortgage, 2 shifts etc. no happy days in sight 🤗

FINALLY!!!!!! BALMAIN AMBASSADOR SOON 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻 seonghwa and of mingi for versace ?? would pass out,, LMFAOOOO will use my 20’s as a excuse to travel and live my yn moment <3 anon how’d ur mortgage going, how’s the job? HOWS KR BEEN

U ORDERED IT RIGHT???? GOD BLESS U IM ON MY WAY HIDE UR DOOR UR KIDS UR CATS UR PC’S IM ON MY WAY he looks like he’s about to join a furry con / star in a red velvet mv

This is bad for me, a cat boys enthusiast 🙄//// Pls look away OP, you don't need to perceive him. In constant battle with myself, because I wanna gatekeep Seonghwa, but also want everyone to know and praise him 🤧

OP TRUST ME HE’S MEAN ASF FUCK DONT STAN HIM LEAVE HIM ALONE 🔫🔫

My rockstar gf! and Mingi toooooo /// I'm on the floor actually. The 2nd photo 🥴🥴🥴🥴 //// 👀👀👀 but girlie was stressed msjsjdjsjabsnswjsh

no bc how dare they do this photoshoot for japanese albums and not for korean ones! WHY ARE THEY SO EXPENSIVE AND THIS???? 😩😩 seonghwa for calvin klein when

Hwa is watching The Alchemy of Souls, I won. Also TAoS Hwa AU……😊 //// And can we talk about KQF2 name… it's pronounced"SAIKERS"?! Say XIKE lmaoooo - DV 💖

STOP STOP IVE BEEN CRYING OVER THAT DRAMA FBWMFBWKFHWKHDWCJCKCKCKCI KEPT THINKING ABOUT SEONGHWA IN IT 😭😭 nOW HOW DO WE SAY THAT NAME??? SHAKERS??? HIKERS??? saikers???? 😭😭😭😭

anon we’re finally getting the return of shoujo with stunning animation 😭😭

just, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT U COULD NOT HATE THIS COMPANY EVEN MORE

hot take, but they’re kinda right

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

0 notes

baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

Your brother knows what's up... sad we will never get them on screen together 🥴 but I'm genuinely curious if any of the Teezers star in a drama soon. It's difficult cause Ateez is always up to something and I don't want their schedule to be too packed, but Actorteez 😭 They're pretty good at comedy, especially Jongho but I need something more serious from them. Let Seonghwa play a villain!

DO NOT try to distract me with the cat talk. I need to see the MILF idc!!! I'm also very much thinking about misunderstood villain Y/N 💔

Omg this is how I sound... https://twitter.com/avgcatboyliker/status/1520653328706854912?t=sWggKMrdWJm9q5rkQqwBlg&s=19

Also did you see YunHwa demolish a potato tortilla with chopsticks and talk about adding ketchup to it??? I'm not Spanish but I was so offended, my boys, my guys uhhhh please do not... also what did Seonghwa look so hot for while doing that?! But I'm glad they tried some local food I feel like most idols eat cups of ramen and lots of Korean food only while going abroad, lmao. While trying Korean food prepared in different countries is cool gor sure, I wish some of them ate more varied stuff

I had some self-control and bought the DVD one, but I'm gonna buy or trade some of the benefits from the Blu Ray...

I also cannot believe I ordered a Cashbee card with pink Seonghwa's face on it 💀

And I'm thinking of buying a new binder for Hwa, it has to be pink 100%, this one is so cute 🍓 but it's so small 🤧

https://www.amazon.com/Fujifilm-Instax-Photocard-Sleeves-Pockets/dp/B09VB9TFV8

This one is better, but it won't fit 9 pockets sleeves

https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/Hfc24e95a0a154c2bbe8d76365dd2c9c2C.jpg_640x640Q90.jpg_.webp

Bandana Hwa is BB Hwa, my beloved stupid lil bitch boy so true 😭 I need to read that story again, cause it has one of my favourite Y/Ns

Hsysyushshgshahs when people ask me which is the safest borough in London I'm like "bestie I don't mean to break it to you..." sure the boring boroughs are better, but I saw some weird shit everywhere. Still nothing ever happened to me, plus I'm kinda used to sketchy and dangerous places.

Okay so people from Quebec are cancelled then wtf, I know the hijab ban is happening in France, like in court rooms, while playing sports etc, so not surprising Quebec is the same. Those white French motherfuckers 💀

Actually let me tell you about that friend cause I feel like some of my friends' relationship stories are straight out of a webtoon, lmao. She had a long-time Canadian boyfriend, nothing bad happened between them they just grew apart and weren't into having a long distance relationship. Then in Australia she met a younger guy, but was like "nah, he's too young and it's too soon" she was 28 and he was 23 at that time, but he was veeeeeery interested. Helped her loosen up a bit again... in many ways 😏 then the pandemic happened and it brought them even closer. They also work with animals together. Semi-MILF moment! It's like the opposite of my different friend who's dating a DILF 😅 I hate the d-word but we teasingly call him d*dd* and the worst thing is: he knows it 🤚🏻

Bestie and what about nerd Hwa I ask??? Look he's so cute and hot and looks so smart, my favourite lab partner 🤧 I'm suddenly craving university AU so bad...

https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1521410264444243968?t=bKtgb8s2nOvoUKgSXJkhew&s=19

- DV 💖

HI!!

he fr does 😭😭😭 he now asks me if they’re actually related somehow dbwbden YEAH SANHWA NEED TO PLAY VILLAIN ABSOLUTELY !!!!!!! i think yunho and jongho would do some great sitcoms,,,, wooyoung could do like the dream high type of dramas, yeosang with ceo fake ratings + mingi and hong for those variety shows where they travel and eat and busk omg

DO NOT try to distract me with the cat talk. I need to see the MILF idc!!! I'm also very much thinking about misunderstood villain Y/N 💔

NO BC THE CAT IS SO ADORABLE HIS TAIL COILS AROUND HWAS WRIST WHEN HWAS LAYING DOWN AND THE CAT JUST SLEEPS ON HIS HAND ????? 😭😭😭😭😭🤚🏼🤚🏼🤚🏼 look see, bodyguard hwa got two cats…. one is dumbles…the other i think u know ,,,,,, OH MISUNDERSTOOD VILLAIN ☺️☺️☺️☺️ WB HER ☺️☺️

Omg this is how I sound... https://twitter.com/avgcatboyliker/status/1520653328706854912?t=sWggKMrdWJm9q5rkQqwBlg&s=19

BRMQDHKW I GHOSTWROTE THAT TWEET 😭😭😭

BFMWHDKWHDKW THEIR ASIAN KEPT COMING OUT EATINF EVERYTHING WITH THE CHOPSTICKS 😭😭😭 no bc why did the black on black ensemble looks so 🤌🏼😮‍💨 HMMM I AGREE !!! i think most also eat at restaurants but in the end they just go find some noodles to eat which i hope r enough for the energy they put on stage dbdb

I had some self-control and bought the DVD one, but I'm gonna buy or trade some of the benefits from the Blu Ray...

OHO ☺️☺️☺️ UNDERCUT HWA HD <333 omg the pob’s sTOP I HOPE U GET ALL HWA’s

I also cannot believe I ordered a Cashbee card with pink Seonghwa's face on it 💀

….

And I'm thinking of buying a new binder for Hwa, it has to be pink 100%, this one is so cute 🍓 but it's so small 🤧 https://www.amazon.com/Fujifilm-Instax-Photocard-Sleeves-Pockets/dp/B09VB9TFV8 // This one is better, but it won't fit 9 pockets sleeves https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/Hfc24e95a0a154c2bbe8d76365dd2c9c2C.jpg_640x640Q90.jpg_.webp

bEST FRIEND LOOK HERE https://www.etsy.com/ca/search?q=pc+binder+kpop&ref=auto-1

Bandana Hwa is BB Hwa, my beloved stupid lil bitch boy so true 😭 I need to read that story again, cause it has one of my favourite Y/Ns

LMFAOOOO STUPID LIL BITCH BOY 😭😭😭 HE WAS FR THE BEST NOY BUT ALSO 🔫 y/n truly <3 so good <3 bUT FOR ME THE YN OF GENERAL WAS 😮‍💨😮‍💨

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 NAURRR london and also it’s problem with stabbing ppl is rly so 🔫🔫🔫 it’s so pretty but PPL FAMNDM GRRR

OH YEAH THEY BEEN CANCELED FOR AGESS it’s always the french ones too,,, tho some r nice most have racism and it’s 😭😭😭 like students get bullied and ppl outside quebec shut down their school’s websites and take them to the admins 😭😭😭

Helped her loosen up a bit again... in many ways 😏

HE KNOWS??? BRKWDHKWDHWKDHWK ITS ALWAYS THE YOUNGER ONES, U ALWAYS NEED THE YOUNGER ONES TO SHOW U EVERYTHING IM SCRWMAIMFBFMWBDKWHDQKHDKWD THIS IS A FIC TBMWBDWKDHKWBDKWJDKW DOES HE TEASE U GUYS ABT IT STOPPPPFHWKHDK

Bestie and what about nerd Hwa I ask??? Look he's so cute and hot and looks so smart, my favourite lab partner 🤧 I'm suddenly craving university AU so bad... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1521410264444243968?t=bKtgb8s2nOvoUKgSXJkhew&s=19

I HAVE A UNIVERSITY AU,,, do u rmr the long lost cliche as fuck plot where two ppl, opposites get paired up to take care of a fake kid <3 basketball player hwa x teachers pet reader and their fake kid they named differently, coming to u soon someday “the baby project” <3

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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