#his vocal range was going everywhere holy shit it was so amazing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pug-bitch · 5 years

Text

That’s not why I’m going (33)

Humidity’s rising

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and a VERY steamy scene. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: around 4,500 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up pretty much where we left off, as the gang is ready to go to karaoke, starting with Drake’s POV. This chapter is mostly fluffy stuff, because we need it :D

*****

Drake steps into the Uber, closely following Amara, who’s now sitting between him and Maxwell. He squeezes her hand once they’re all buckled in.

‘Are you sure you’re ok, baby?’

She nods enthusiastically. ‘Yes, please don’t worry. I had an episode, it’s gone now, I want tonight to be fun!’

He nods and kisses her hand. Maxwell rubs Amara’s other arm. ‘You’re right, let’s have a fun time! So happy to be all together! But where are we going exactly?’

Amara chuckles. ‘We’re going to the bar where Drake and I went for karaoke once. It’s a cop bar, it’s quiet, we just have to look out for Bastien or even Ilya, but if they’re both not there we’re in the clear.’

Max cheers. ‘Woo! A bar full of hunky cops, I love it!’

Drake laughs heartily. ‘Max, most of them are not hot. I just wanna manage your expectations!’

‘Who knows! Look, Amara was a cop, and she’s hot as hell! Why wouldn’t these cops be sexy?’

Amara gloats, ‘Oh, well he’s not wrong, Walker. Some cops are very hot indeed. Ever seen Broadchurch? David Tennant can get it.’

Max gasps, ‘YES, he can. Every time he yells ‘Millah!’ I feel a tingle inside of me.’

Drake rubs the bridge of his nose. ‘That’s all great, guys. I really needed to know what makes Maxwell tingle.’

The Uber driver lets out a throaty laugh, and then realizes that he did that out loud. They all pause for a second, and resume laughing together.

*****

‘Finally! What took you bitches so long?’ Liv complains as Drake, Amara and Max get out of their Uber.

‘Relax, Liv, we’ve been here for two minutes!’ Hana chimes in.

Amara rolls her eyes, ‘Oh, two minutes? Poor Duchess Olivia, your time is sooo precious. Alright, let’s get in, and let’s have fun. Bertrand, I wanna hear your beautiful voice, ok?’

Bertrand blushes but smiles brightly. Amara can’t help but think they may have failed to include him enough in the past, but she’s determined to make it up to him.

They walk into the bar, and Amara scans the room for any known faces, which she notices Drake is doing too. But they looked everywhere, and there’s no sign of Bastien, Ilya, or any other members of the Royal Guard. Just regular uniformed cops at the end of their workday, relaxing with their buddies or spouses. Amara notices there’s a lot more women in here than there were last time, which is great for them. They will stick out less.

‘This is everything!’ Maxwell yelps. ‘How come I’ve never been here? It’s so cute! Those peanut bowls are so retro, I’m into it.’

Amara and Drake look at each other and laugh. Oh, Maxwell. What a treasure.

The six of them get a booth and Drake goes to the bar to order the first round. He knows Bruno at the bar, Amara remembers from last time, and Bruno makes strong drinks.

‘Maybe I should tell Drake to just get me a tea,’ Bertrand says nervously.

‘Bertrand! If you’re gonna sing, you need liquid courage!’ Hana says.

Bertrand shrugs and smiles. ‘Well, I suppose that’s true. I’m already two drinks in, though, maybe it’s too much.’

‘Live a little, babe,’ Liv says as she takes a flask out of her bra, handing it to a blushing Bertrand. ‘Have a sip. It won’t bite, it was just on my boob, not up my ass.’

Amara and Hana bite their lips in order not to laugh, as Bertrand reluctantly takes a swig from Liv’s boob flask.

‘I’m gonna go help Drake carry the drinks,’ Amara says.

She walks up to the bar, where Drake is chatting with Bruno while he’s making the drinks. ‘Hey ma’am,’ Bruno says. ‘I remember you. You sang Queen beautifully last time you were here with Drake.’

‘Oh hi Bruno! Nice to see you. It’s very nice of you to say, I was a little hammered, so I don’t remember much of that...performance.’

Bruno laughs, and serves Amara an extra shot of bourbon. ‘Bourbon, right? You’ll need it if you want to give another stellar performance. Lower your inhibitions.’

Amara laughs and downs the shot. ‘Thanks, Bruno. I’ll start a tab.’

He waves her off. ‘This one’s on the house. A friend of the Walkers’ is a friend of mine. And Drake already put his card down.’

‘Aw, thanks, Drake!’

They walk back to the table with drinks for everyone, a round a double shots of bourbon.

‘Ohh, guys, I’m tipsy just looking at these,’ Hana laughs.

‘Lee, stop it, or I’ll make you drink from my flask too,’ Liv threatens. Hana throws her hands up in defeat, and grabs a glass.

*****

A couple of rounds later, Maxwell gets up and goes up to the stage, under the cheers of a room full of cops. He does a little breakdance as he arrives on stage, provoking more excitement from the crowd. Amara gasps, nervous that he might fall on his face again. ‘Jeez, this man will break his neck just by being himself one day.’

Drake laughs, his hand around Amara’s shoulders. He’s feeling good. At home, even. He wishes his dad were here to see them all having fun together. He’d say, ‘See, Drake? You complain about the nobles, but you had to give some of them a chance. They’re not so bad.’

He looks at Amara. She’s smiling broadly, visibly happy to be here. Surprising in a way, since her past is still so painful. He was afraid, when they came here tonight, that the abundance of cops would trigger her anxiety again, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite. Maybe she’s just enjoying the proximity to good memories, both from her past, and from one of their first dates. He enjoys seeing her like this.

Suddenly, Maxwell clears his throat in the microphone.

‘Hello, you gorgeous bunch of cops!’ The crowd cheers. ‘I’m Max and tonight, I’m gonna sing an amazing, deep song that means a lot to me. Hit it!’

He gestures to Louis, who is manning the karaoke machine. Louis shrugs, and presses a button. Maxwell closes his eyes and clutches the microphone dramatically. As soon as the opening notes start to play, Drake rolls his eyes. No he didn’t.

I threw a wish in the well,

Don’t ask me I’ll never tell,

I look to you as it fell,

And now you’re in my way!

The gang cannot stop laughing at Maxwell’s dramatic rendering of Call Me Maybe. Amara actually has tears in her eyes. Before the chorus, Maxwell shouts, ‘Little Blossom, come join me!’

Amara, without missing a beat, plants a kiss on Drake’s cheek, and runs to the stage to join Max. He wraps his arm around her and they both sing in unison.

Hey, I just met you

And this is crazy!

But here’s my number

So call me maybe

Drake can’t wipe the smile from his face. Here she is, his beautiful girlfriend --he’s never said this word to her before, but tonight, when they can be normal and hang out with their friends in public, it feels right-- singing with their best friend and having the time of her life. She points at Drake as she sings the next words:

Before you came into my life

I missed you so bad

I missed you so, so bad

Yeah, it’s a cheesy song, and the lyrics are so bad that they’re good, but he feels those lyrics on a deep level, which he would probably never confess to anyone unless he had a gun to his head. He definitely cannot remember one single good thing in his life before she showed up.

*****

Amara and Max get back to the booth, both out of breath and very smiley. Amara kisses Drake on the lips and asks, ‘Did you like it?’

He chuckles. ‘Yeah. You were amazing.’

Amara turns to Hana, ‘Babe, sing one! Come on, Max and I can even join you if you’d like!’

Hana giggles, visibly inebriated enough to say yes. ‘Alright, I suppose I can give it a try…’

She gets up and consults the list of songs that Louis is handing to her. Max turns to Drake and Bertrand, a self-satisfied look on his face. He says, ‘Gentlemen, I had an idea for a male-only number, are you with me, or are you not?’

Drake sighs, looks at Amara who is nodding furiously, and says to Maxwell, ‘Fine, I’m in.’

Bertrand, visibly altered by the contents of the boob flask, nods as well. ‘Sure, Maxxie, let’s do it. As long as I know the song.’

Max bites his lip. ‘Oh, you know the song.’

‘Shh, guys, Hana is on stage!’ Amara says excitedly.

Hana giggles into the microphone. ‘Hi all, I’m Hana. I’m not a good singer, so, I apologize in advance.’

Remember those walls I built

Well, baby, they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you win

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

Amara’s jaw drops. She knew that Hana was underselling herself by apologizing for her voice --after all, Hana is good at absolutely everything-- but she didn’t expect her to have the vocal range of Mariah Carey.

‘Fuck, guys, I have chills,’ Max says, his mouth wide open as well.

Liv exhales loudly, ‘Holy shit, Lee’s got pipes.’

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby, I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby, I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

For the rest of the song, the whole room is silent, taking it all in and enjoying the melodious sound of Hana’s voice. When she finishes the last note, there’s a pause, and a massive round of applause. The gang cheers and screams her name.

She comes back to her booth, blushing. ‘Thanks, guys, I hope I was ok…’

‘OK??? Are you kidding me, Lee?’ Amara says excitedly. ‘You were Beyoncé level! That was glorious!’

Hana blushes some more, as Bruno makes his way to the table, holding a round of martinis. ‘Guys, this is on the house. Miss Hana, you were incredible. I’m speechless.’

‘Oh please,’ Hana says shyly, ‘it was just a little song.’

*****

Drake goes up to the stage reluctantly, following Max closely, not knowing what’s awaiting him. At least, Bertrand is on the same boat as him.

Maxwell whispers something in Louis’s ear, and the man immediately grins widely, which suggests to Drake that this is gonna be something else.

He recognizes the song immediately, and curses Maxwell under his breath. ‘Oh please, you love it,’ Max replies.

Drake looks to Amara, who’s looking more excited than she’s ever been, obviously recognizing the song as well. Maxwell gestures for Drake to open the song. He rolls his eyes.

You are my fire

The one desire

Believe when I say

I want it that way

He can’t believe he’s singing this in public, but judging from the look on Amara’s face, she’s thoroughly enjoying the moment, so to hell with this. He’s gonna have fun.

Then, the chorus comes, and all three of them sing in unison:

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never want to hear you say

I want it that way

Drake grabs the drink that Bruno is handing him, silently thanks his savior, and downs it in one go. He’s gonna need this liquid courage to finish the song.

*****

Amara can’t believe her eyes, or her ears, for that matter. Her Drake, willingly singing a Backstreet Boys song. If they weren’t in public, she’d jump his bones right now. But also, the very fact that he went with Maxwell’s wild suggestion without questioning it shows a lot of growth on Drake’s part. The Drake who came to NYC would NOT have gone for a boy band karaoke song.

She gets up and greets the three guys as they get off the stage. Drake opens his arms to her, and she wraps him in a warm hug. ‘That was hot,’ she whispers in his ear.

‘Oh, was it?’ he chuckles.

She nods. Now, a very tall and very muscular uniformed cop is starting to sing Rihanna’s We Found Love, and people are beginning to dance. Amara takes Drake’s hand and guides him to the makeshift dancefloor, where they grind on each other for a while, completely forgetting about the crowd around them. They don’t even notice that the music has changed, now a female cop has started to sing a Kings of Leon song. They keep dancing closer and closer to each other, Amara’s body pressed against Drake, and his hands on her hips, drawing her closer. Their foreheads rest against each other, as they try not to kiss, but the intimate position they are in leaves very little to the imagination.

He whispers, ‘You’re so fucking sexy.’

She runs her hands on his chest, then down on his stomach, almost reaching below his belt. She smirks.

‘Don’t tempt me, Suarez,’ he chuckles.

She’s aching to kiss him. No one is watching them, everyone is dancing to the music, and looking at the successive performers. ‘I want you,’ she whispers in his ear. ‘I don’t know that I can wait until we’re back at Ramsford.’

He bites his lip, his breath ragged. She knows he wants her too. ‘Fuck, Suarez, you make me so hard.’

She takes his hand and leads him to the corner where the bathrooms are.

‘Are you nuts?’ he laughs. ‘That’s a public restroom. Not a palace bathroom…’

She laughs and whispers, ‘We just won’t touch anything. Meet me in a minute.’

She gets in, her heart racing. She looks at her reflection in the mirror, notices that her eye makeup is smudged, in a way that makes it look like a smokey eye. Drake gets in, and locks the door behind them. Without a word, he places himself behind Amara, both of them facing the mirror. He throws his arms around her waist, and one of his hands reaches under her dress, and in her panties. He quickly finds her clit, and draws circles around it with his thumb. She gasps, her breath now uneven. She turns her head just enough to capture Drake’s lips in hers, kissing him more and more deeply as his fingers explore her soaking wet folds.

With her right hand, she reaches behind her, to undo his belt, and she sets his throbbing cock free. She wipes off his precum with her finger and rubs his length up and down, making him moan. He slides one more finger inside her, and she can’t wait any longer, she needs him inside her again. She shimmies out of her panties, and he lifts up her dress. She bends over a bit more, enough for Drake to find her entrance. He teases it with his cock, but her low groans don’t leave any doubt: she can’t wait. He needs to fuck her now. He enters her completely, making her gasp for air. She whispers, ‘Fuck me hard.’ He obliges. His thumb still on her clit, stroking it, caressing it, he fucks her harder and harder, deeper and deeper. Her walls contract around his cock, they pulsate, she can’t handle it anymore, she’s going to come. She hopes she can stay silent enough. His fingers are driving her crazy, her clit is throbbing under Drake’s hand. She feels his dick getting harder and harder inside her, and his breath is getting quicker against her neck. He kisses her ear a bit more urgently. She needs to try to hold on, she wants to come with him. She hopes he comes soon, she’s about to burst.

‘Amara…’ he whispers, his voice raspy. It sends her over the edge. Her body gives in, her knees buckle, she comes for him so hard, she knows he can feel it, her walls contracting all around him. He moans long and hard, and she feels him fill her with his cum. They both catch their breath.

‘Oh my God…’ she whispers. ‘That was… I’m still dizzy.’

‘I can’t breathe,’ he chuckles. ‘Wow. I should sing to you more often…’

*****

When they come back to the table, no one is paying attention to them, Hana, Bertrand and Maxwell being deep in a very giggly conversation. Only LIv is looking at them with a smirk on her face. ‘Did you horndogs just fuck in the bathroom?’ she asks.

Amara rolls her eyes. ‘Ew, Liv, who do you take us for? A bathroom in a cop bar? That’s insane.’

‘Yeah, Nevrakis,’ Drake chimes in, ‘we may be commoners, but we’re not peasants.’

Liv snorts. ‘You’re not actors either. You’re both very bad liars. I hope you washed your hands. Suarez, I have a mission for you.’

‘Oh?’ Amara says.

‘I’ve been told by Little Beaumont that if I don’t sing a song, I will be, and I quote, ‘a stupid ass loser’. As much as I don’t care what he thinks, I think it could be fun. Do you want to--’ she wrings her hands together, visibly in the position of asking for a favor for the first time of her life, ‘do you want to sing one with me?’

Amara squeals, ‘Yes! Yes, Liv, I’ll sing with you!’

‘Alright, calm your tits,’ Olivia says with a dismissive hand gesture, ‘I’m not asking you to have a quickie in the bathroom, it’s just one song.’

‘Charming,’ Amara replies. ‘Got a suggestion for the title?’

‘Yeah. I already talked to Louis over there. Let’s go!’

They hop on stage, Olivia looking fierce in her tight black pants, high heels and bright red blouse. Amara can’t help but feel like a teletubby next to her, in her bright yellow dress. She bursts out laughing when she realizes which song Liv has chosen. Soo off-brand, and yet so perfect.

Humidity’s rising, barometer's getting low

According to all sources, the street's the place to go

'Cause tonight for the first time

Just about half-past ten

For the first time in history

It's gonna start raining men

It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, amen

I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get

Absolutely soaking wet

It's raining men, hallelujah

It's raining men, every specimen

Tall, blonde, dark and lean

Rough and tough and strong and mean

Amara looks at the crowd, and sees that the rest of the gang is standing up now, dancing to the rhythm. She winks at Drake.

*****

‘Aaaah, it was so FUN!’ Maxwell yells as he flops onto the couch, back at Ramsford. ‘That was such a good idea, Amara and Hana! We need to do it again.’

Liv takes off her heels and rubs her feet. ‘I’m as surprised as you guys, but believe it or not, I had a lot of fun! I can’t believe that Big Beaumont over here sang Backstreet Boys like a fucking champ!’ she says as she pats Bertrand’s back.

‘Ha!’ he says, ‘I blame your um… bosom flask, as you say. I’m afraid I’m a tad tipsy. I should put myself to bed. Ladies and gents, it was grand. Thank you for including me tonight, it was a breath of fresh air. I will see you all tomorrow for breakfast.’

Everyone wishes him a good night and he disappears up the stairs. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Amara whispers, ‘Did he just say ‘bosom’?’

Drake chuckles. ‘Nevrakis, how does it feel to have Bertrand talk about your bosom?’

She shrugs, ‘Everyone talks about my bosom, if you must know. It��s a glorious bosom. Not as glorious as Suarez’s, of course, but I do what I can.’

Amara fake curtsies, ‘I am humbled, Lady Nevrakis.’

Maxwell opens a small bottle of sparkling water. ‘So, now that we’re in private… are you gonna tell us everything, Olivia?’

Liv raises an eyebrow. ‘What do you mean?’

Max rolls his eyes. ‘Come on. We saw you on your phone all day. You were actually--’ he whispers, ‘smiling.’ He fake gasps.

Liv sighs. ‘You guys are the fucking worst. No one can have a private life around here, huh? Did you blab, Suarez?’

Amara shakes her head as fast as she can, afraid that Liv is packing some hidden weapons somewhere, near her flask or in her hair. ‘No! I promise I didn’t blab!’

‘It’s not that hard to figure it out,’ Max adds. ‘You’ve never been in a better mood and you’re texting all day. Amara is not the only one with detective skills, you know! Call me Agent Breakdance!’

Liv snorts. ‘I’ll call you Agent Break Your Nose, that’ll be more on brand.’ She takes a sip of water. ‘Alright, you bitches, you win. I was texting someone all day, and I went on a date on Monday night. Happy?’

Hana smiles broadly. ‘It’s wonderful, Olivia! Is he nice?’

Olivia makes a disgusted face. ‘Nice? That’s gross. He’s sexy, and fun, and he respects me.’

‘Well that’s the whole package, then,’ Amara says, stroking Drake’s hair, as he’s lying down on her lap, both snuggled on the couch.

‘Tell us who he is, Liv!’ Max pleads. ‘I’ll tell you anything you want in return. I’ll tell you everything there is to know about me.’

‘Beaumont,’ she says solemnly, ‘I want to know absolutely nothing about you.’ She takes another sip, visibly pleased with herself for the suspense she’s creating, blissfully unaware that everyone knows who he is. ‘Alright, it’s Domvallier.’

Max feigns surprise. ‘Ohhhh, I love that for you! And he’s hot as fuck.’

‘Yes, Liv,’ Hana chimes in, ‘he’s a very handsome man, and very stylish!’

Olivia nods, a small smile on her lips. ‘I may actually like him, so you clowns better not ruin it for me, ok?’

Max puts a hand on his chest. ‘Liv, we would never! Our lips are sealed. Plus, all our friends are in this very room, so we have no one else to tell.’

Drake sighs, and makes eye contact with Amara. He wonders whether he should tell Liv that Liam knows about the two of them. He doesn’t want to ruin the night. He wonders what it would accomplish to tell her. Probably nothing, right? But the five of them have made a point of being honest with one another, and that’s crucial. He can’t lose her trust, not now.

‘Liv, I gotta tell you something,’ he says. Amara’s eyes catch his, and she nods at him. He continues. ‘I hope you don’t freak out. But um… I think you deserve to have all the elements.’

Liv suddenly starts frowning, her uncharacteristic smile vanished. ‘What?’ she barks. ‘What is it?’

Drake sits up. ‘I saw Liam Monday night, he was back from the beach. He had texted you, remember?’

Liv’s face falls. ‘Yeah, I got a text from him asking if I want to meet him at the beach at midnight. I never responded, though.’

‘Well,’ Drake pursues, ‘He waited for you there anyways. He saw you and Rashad, and he knows there’s something between you two. He was very upset, and last I heard, he wanted to have a conversation with you to discuss what you want. He seemed to want to make a grand gesture, like an apology for taking you for granted.’

Liv purses her lips, visibly angry. ‘Oh, so Prince Liam wants to apologize, and as always, you’re his little lapdog, huh? His wingman? Like when you broke into Suarez’s room to drop off Liam’s note?’

Amara shakes her head, ‘Liv, that’s not what he’s saying. And that note was ages ago, before anything happened between us--’

‘Stop,’ Liv says. ‘Liam can give me any amount of attention he wants, I’m done with his pathetic ass. I know you fucking love him, Walker, and you think he’s the shit, but let me tell you, he’s never had any goddamn respect for me and my feelings, until he saw me exchanging sexts with another man.’ She stops and catches her breath. She suddenly looks very calm, as if she had just solved her own dilemma.

Drake puts his hands up. ‘I agree with you, Liv. I wasn’t pushing Liam onto you, I promise. Fuck, I think he’s been horrible to you, very manipulative, and you deserve so much better.’

‘Agreed,’ Liv spits. ‘I deserve the world. Liam is willing to give me what? A pity fuck and a dozen roses? Pathetic.’

‘Yeah!’ Max says angrily, obviously wanting to be part of the discussion. ‘Get it, girl!’

Drake nods, ‘Hey, I truly wasn’t telling you that you should be with Liam. I think Rashad is a very cool dude, and I can see the two of you getting along. Like you said, he respects you, and that’s what matters. Please, Nevrakis, don’t shoot the messenger. I was just telling you what I know, so you’re not blindsided when Liam comes to talk to you.’

Olivia nods angrily, visibly calming down a bit. ‘Yeah. I guess it’s good to know.’

Amara chimes in, ‘It doesn’t change the fact that Rashad is good for you. It’s unfortunate that Liam saw you, but it doesn’t change anything at the end of the day. That’s not what Drake meant at all. He was just giving you a heads up.’

Liv, still frowning, nods. ‘Ok. Fine. Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just sick of Liam getting what he wants. It’s too little, too late. If he asks me, I’ll tell him the truth. I have no idea if Rashad and I are going anywhere, but he’s making me feel more appreciated than Liam ever has.’

Drake smiles and takes Amara’s hand, relieved that she understood him and what he was trying to do. He doesn’t blame Liv for snapping, though. He used to be what she said: Liam’s wingman whatever happened. Now, in the wake of finding out how forceful he could be, like he was with Amara, and how dismissive he was with Liv, he doesn’t know if he can ever really be in Liam’s corner again. Not like before, anyways.

Hana clears her throat and speaks the words of wisdom: ‘How about we all get some rest, huh? Olivia, we’re all very happy you’ve found someone you feel comfortable with, and none of us disagree with you being upfront with Liam. We all want you to be happy. Now go to bed and turn off your phone.’

Liv snorts, ‘Yes, mom.’

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @jovialyouthmusic @andy-loves-corgis @emceesynonymroll @mariahschoices @drakesensworld @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @drakewalkerisreal @alesana45 @nikkis1983 @simsvetements @iplaydrake @lily1999love @drakewalkerwhipped @drakxwalker @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakeswalkers @drakelover78 @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @thisperfectmemory

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #dramara #drake x amara #drake walker x amara suarez #amara suarez #drake walker #drake x mc #drake walker x mc #drake walker trr #drake trr #trr drake #choices trr #trr fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #choices fanfiction #fanfic #gratuitous karaoke moment

40 notes · View notes

spacecharr · 5 years

Text

Black Rose Sesh Report V

i think it’s number five at least.

Here we go again:

fuck having a bum shoulder. again. seriously, fuck it. right in the asshole.

the trip back wasn’t an odyssey so much as it was a revelation-filled romp.

also chillhop music makes me seriously so lyrical. it’s... it’s like I’m helpless, but I’m also scared that people might see me as a pretentious bitch or something, but I also recognize that maybe this is just my anxiety or some shit?

thought looops, like frooot loops

oh yeah!

revalations

one: holy fuck I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading back -- WAITTTTT

how could I almost forget Oliver?!

People I met on the romp back:

(wait tags)

(ok, back to here - but ow, fuck)

Eric, Lisa, and Oliver the Dog.

amazing neighbors who’ve lived in the area for a long ass time. also Oliver is cleverly named due to the location.

the black cat that I thought was a little girl twin of my handsome boy? nope! He’s an adorable little psychopath named Merlin! he loves people, is adorable, vocal, cuddly, his owners are this amazingly punk rock lady and this guy who could be like a secret badass punk nerd from accounting or something. And he’s a bit psycho ‘cause he does the whole “snuggle up to your leg to purr and cuddle you, ask for belly rubs, then will attack your hand”. My Zi doesn’t do that at all. He will give you maaaaaany warning bops with his back legs, no claws, before he begins to lazily warning bite you.

Alright, ok.

Revelations.

one: I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading home from a run. both of them were HELLA FINE. I mean, of the two I’d prefer the dude, but if I could have both of ‘em, then hell yes I would.

I have the preference namely because the lady was wearing matching pink shirt and scrunchie - and that get up on a wavy blonde made me think of that character from the Arnold the Armadillo show and I don’t like her as much.

they were wearing matching running tights, the girl was wearing pink and the guy was wearing orange (my favourite colour).

Both probably within my age range, maybe in their 30s.

The guy was super in shape, bony, broad, muscled shoulders and a runner’s taper.

Gal was thicc and had a face that looked like Denaerys Targarean (idk how the fuck to spell that name rn)

two: I’m living in my dream neighborhood, basically, and living my dream.

where I’m at, I just went out for a walk to a park - it felt like I was at a lake.

there’s dogs everywhere, and friendly people who own those dogs. people with stories to tell, who are happy to sit down and chat.

there’s beautiful people where I live. All sorts of beautiful people. (see revelation one: I am hella bi - and for any biphobes out there, remember that bi means i find more than one gender attractive. think about that for a sec, I’ll wait.)

there are couples in their 30s with no kids, so this place is fairly childfree.

there are people leading alternative lifestyles all around me, mixed in and living side by side harmoniously with neighbors who are more traditional. including couples even who are made up of a “normal” looking person and someone visibly living that alternative lifestyle.

today has been filled with so many LGBTQ encounters of other LGBTQ people living visibly out - whether they’re living out to prove a point, living out because it’s right for them, living out despite the fear, living out because it’s fun to, etc, etc. - that it makes me so happy to see.

there was a dude in this really fancy sports car - likewise somewhere in this 30s - which almost everyone at the intersection had to turn their heads to appreciate

there was this guy with a beard (beards are so attractive) balancing on this fancy looking road bike (god, I love bikes) - makin’ that choice for whatever his reason is, but it’s one I love because we need more bikes and less cars

on my way home, and this ties into the point below, I passed under a balcony where several ladies where having a girl’s night and discussing things.

and it turned into this awesome look on feminism in a way because they were talking about I think female genital mutilation (these are all ladies in their late 30s or older - lots of talk of husbands, etc) and how there’s so many women still having it done to them.

one of the ladies mentioned how some man in her life somewhere (she mentioned how she knew, but there was a dog I was distracted by when she explained, so I didn’t really catch it) was talking about how less girls get mutilated than boys or something. And she was like “well i don’t know the numbers for boys, but even if it is higher, that’s still six--(some ridiculously large number like 600 million or something, or 600 thousand...) and then that means there’s even more children being mutilated than that because the boys get mutilated more often.”

like, holy shit, a man engaging in “oppression olympics” when a woman was just trying to express her shock that any children are being mutilated - and that he was being excited for winning a gender competition for “whose gender is mutilated the most as young, helpless babies?!”!

anyways, that little aside aside

holy fuck my shoulder hurts

I was thinking I could do this part as part of the stream of conscience further down, but I don’t think I can hold out that long.

So ok, I separated the AC joint (or something like that) in my right shoulder from some bungled board breaking I did during a parade with my karate club. Boards got rained on and my student and I still broke them.

I bungled this break only in that the first two elbow attempts didn’t work - the board was way too wet and it bounced both the elbows back. So I resorted to hammer fist to break it and boooooo. I wanted to elbow it.

But yeah, turns out I’m hurting.

But I’m not sure if I am or not. Again, this is probably anxiety? or maybe another revelation.

But like, I’m confused. Would a separated shoulder take 48hrs to fully onset in terms of the pain and symptoms? Cause I felt like I was sore, but still able to do thinsg. Then when I went in yesterday to see my chiro for a scheduled appt from way before the parade, I mentioned my shoulder pain.

he ran two quick assessments on me and diagnosed me with a separated AC joint. it’s on the mild side, but it’s still a separated shoulder he said. and since them I’ve been way more conscious of it and I wonder - is it because he told me something’s wrong and I’m “pretending” because I’m hyper-aware of any sensation in the area? Or did it really just take until now for it to start being so bothersome?

--- another aside within aside within aside: I’m starting to feel suuuuper sleepy.

but then also, I’m high. I’m high on 50mg edible THC and 1/2 a 210mg joint. I should be pretty medicated by now, we can all agree. And I do feel a familiar stoner feel from the indica. Nice heavy body feel. But through it all, my neck, shoulder and lat are just screaming at me occasionally.

Especially my neck.

And my shoulder when I go to use my right arm - reaching, etc. OHHHHHH!!!! It hurts more today than yesterday because I did karate this morning!!!!! And I pushed (but didn’t hurt) myself a bit because I wanted to train with our guests.

ok.

I get it now.

I’m not crazy, it legit hurts. I’m not being a wuss, I’m being realistic. Okay.

SEE!?! WEED! REVELATIONS!

Dammit, guys, weed really is a therapist.

Have I even told you guys I’m a relatively new stoner? Like, just since it got legalized in Canada, and like, in November? So a lot of those like random “crazy-ass” stoner stereotypical phrases that I used to make fun of and think were like “oh, hurr durr, only stupid stoners who can’t think straight think like that” - they’re TRUE!!!! holy fuck, guys.

Hm, also, I think I am definitely going to be able to ride along and let the shrooms take me where they will next weekend. I’m ready for it. I’m excited for it. I feel like there will be so many more breakthroughs.

OH! yes, returning.

So, those ladies and talking about not even feminism, but just out in the open, within earshot of people on the street (fair, they’re just having an open air convo on their own personal balcony - everyone else is on the public sidewalk, the acoustics in this area are just very conducive), talking about statistics about women.

It’s so awesome that I live ina place where that can happen.

That I live in a place where a trans woman and her lesbian girlfriend can walk through the park. Where an openly lesbian couple, an openly gay couple, two best dude friends (and or maybe another gay couple, it’s not like they were dressed in rainbows or held hands or anything), a single dad with two kids, a single stoner, and all sorts of straight couples can just all exist alongside each other without anyone feeling pressured or attacked or anything.

It’s awesome.

Ok. My shoulder is really hurting. I know I’m not being a wuss with this now.

Though I have to say, as much as this fucking sucks, I still wouldn’t trade it for my experience as a martial artist. Now I know for next year, and I can protect my younger students now since I know that wet boards are so harsh on even my body - it’d tear out the shoulder of some of our younger kids. And I can experiment with drying the boards a bit more so they’re more brittle and won’t bounce back.

I think if I had been doing a single break in a controlled setting like a dojo instead of needing to set up in as few steps as possible and break and move on quick so you don’t hold up the route, I could have broken it. But as it was, it’s not possible for me to courteously summon up the concentration for a break like that on a parade route.

I’m gonna just relax for a while. Probably find some anime to watch. I wanted to draw, but I don’t think my shoulder’s up for it. I’ll have to try to remember the imagery.

It’s like, space-sci-fi dystopia future-wave sort of thing but with lower tech and more slum-like. cartoony. cel shaded. primariy colours: orange-brown, blue/purple like vaporwave, red, orange-orange, maybe some yellow/yellow-white.

guys, weed is magical. I love weed. I mean, I’m a highly functioning member of society. I live a frugal lifestyle, but I kill it at work, I’m becoming highly involved in my community, etc.

it’s crazy how there’s that stoner stereotype, but honestly I’d say that’s just the entertaining minority. the minority we all like to smoke along with. XD

ok, that’s a wrap on this part. maybe more, maybe not. dunno.

in anycase, fuck bum shoulders, stay chill, and see ya in space.

...srsly should I do audios?

#blackrosesesh #live sesh #weed #stoner #sesh report #stream of conscience #i think i used a different soc tag last time #fuck having a bum shoulder #fuck pain #fuck ow #weed is still better than tylenol

0 notes