#honestly i cant believe i wrote this before reaching the lessons where they talk about demon/human marriages

[cloudcountry]

the burdens of royalty

Genre/Tropes: Established relationship, MC and Diavolo are married.

Summary: the weight of both the devildom and the human world are on your shoulders. if it wasn't for diavolo, you would have given up a long time ago.

Author's Comments: diavolo has a very tough job. every time he said he adores mc or that one time he confessed his love to them i panicked because thats so much. its heavier than the brother's "i love you" because hes ROYALTY and its a lot of take in.

i also find myself thinking about what his affection means for mc in the long run. i mean, surely diavolo has suitors. there are obviously higher up demons like the brothers (and maddi, that one witch that pursued diavolo so aggressively it was...icky.) for diavolo to actually pursue mc, i can't imagine what would happen when those same demons figured that out. if they were to make their relationship official or even get married, mc would probably need a bodyguard 24/7 because demons are OBVIOUSLY not chill with humans (like every single brother threatening mc and especially belphegor, although his circumstances were different because they involved lilith.)

anyways i'll be quiet, i hope you enjoy C:

~~~~~

It wasn’t easy being you.

Your now husband would always tell you that being him wasn’t easy, but now that you share the burden of his position, does that not also apply to you?

It came as quite a shock to the entire Devildom the day your engagement was announced—to think, the Prince of the Devildom, marrying a human! The demon aristocracy would have had your head if they weren’t so terrified of Barbatos. You were called many things (a manipulator and a cheat being among your favorites. Really, the higher ups in demon society would know too much about manipulating their way up the social ladder.) It was like they could comprehend that you just wanted to be with the man you loved, and that race and position and titles meant absolutely nothing to do with it.

If nothing else, you suppose being human was the easiest thing they could target. It shielded Diavolo from most of the backlash, at any rate. The last thing you ever wanted was for the public to lose their trust in him (and never give his ideals for the three realms a chance.) The fact that he only wanted the best for them seemed to fly right over their heads, as if Diavolo was just as untrustworthy as you, the foreign soul from another realm.

You, now their ruler, too.

But that’s exactly why you had to clench your teeth and bear it, bear the shimmering dresses and horned guests and Barbatos breathing down your neck so nobody would even think of attacking you. Snide remarks about your clothing of choice were met with “my husband picked it out, actually,” comments about how delicious your flesh smelled were ignored but met with a stern glare from your bodyguard, greetings that sounded so fake and that were obviously meant to butter you up were laughed at just as falsely.

Is this what it meant to be a royal?

“I apologize, My Liege. This ball runs til midnight. I assure you that you may retire to your chambers once this is over.” Barbatos whispers, strategically whisking you away from a group of demonesses muttering to each other and staring at you.

“Thank you.” you try to smile, but it probably seems like more of a wince than anything, “My feet are killing me. And the guests are just as bad.”

He smiles back sympathetically, and although he isn’t touching you at all, you can still feel the warmth emanating from him. Though the Avatars of Sin fear him, Barbatos has always been nothing but kind to you. You wonder if it has something to do with Diavolo, or if he really is that cruel. You suppose it doesn’t matter, whether you’re naive or not, because the fact of the matter is that you have the man Barbatos is loyal to encased in an eternal matrimonial vow. There is no way Barbatos would attempt to harm you.

“I will run you and My Lord a bath once this event is over.” he promises, and you can only sigh with relief when you notice he’s lead you outside, were the amount of people is nowhere near what it is inside, “Do you have a preference for which aromatherapy scent I use?”

“Use whichever one Diavolo chooses.” you reply, knowing he’ll be just as tired.

Barbatos laughs, a sound so full of mirth it makes you happy, too.

“I am sorry if that was out of line, My Liege. I was just amused by the coincidence. My Lord said to select whichever scent you would like.” Barbatos chuckles.

You find yourself laughing too, despite how nasty the demons around you treat you every time you hold one of these balls. It’s so sweet and considerate and just so Diavolo. You wish you could hug him right now and thank him for always trying to be a better man for you. He doesn’t seem like he will ever realize that he’s enough already, which simultaneously warms and breaks your heart.

He really thinks too highly of you. You’re not that special.

Barbatos leads you to a bench and gestures for you to sit. You do so without complaint, and before you can say anything he’s on his knees and massaging your calves. You feel yourself heating up in the face (because you still feel like he shouldn’t be doing these things for you), but you’ve learned a while ago that he takes pleasure in serving people. So you let him do his thing.

Part of your flustered state is also embarrassment, and despite your best efforts you cannot stop your eyes from darting around the gardens to check if anyone is paying attention to you. Thankfully, they all seem enraptured by an illusionist hired for the event who’s stationed in front of the grandiose fountain. He keeps making wispy demonic figures swallow running humanoid figures whole.

You’re used to this.

Another servant comes by, one by the name of Marie Anne. You know her well. Diavolo has always been very kind to her, offering her a life away from the downright cruel aristocratic family she had before. You don’t know the details, and you don’t ask. It’s not your place.

The demoness curtsies and smiles, offering you a bubbling glass of Demonus. It can’t get you drunk, but it can be refreshing. You take it and thank her. Her cheeks turn pink and she curtsies again before scurrying towards the crowd of demons watching the illusionist.

It’s funny how some demons could be so kind and others so nasty. There were many similarities that they have with humans, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

You tell Barbatos that he can stop now, and he halts his motions and stands up immediately. You’re still not used to being pampered in such a way, so you thank him. He only smiles and tells you it’s not necessary.

“I believe this is why the servants are taking a quick liking to you.” he muses, “I hardly think they would be this receptive if My Lord had married a witch or a member of the aristocracy.”

“You really think so?” you say, feeling your cheeks burn again from the praise, “I…I’m not doing anything special.”

“A simple thank you goes a long way, My Liege.” he hums, a content smile on his face as he stands beside you.

You suppose he’s right. After all, you’ve only heard (and seen, you think bitterly) terrible things about the aristocracy. They’re rude and impatient and only ever think about themselves when it comes to policies that affect the entire Devildom. If they didn’t fear Diavolo so much they surely would have attempted to overthrow him by now.

Too bad, you think smugly, staring at the insolent illusionist again as he makes a smokey human child scream at a demonic creature emerging from an equally smokey closet, He would destroy all of you if you even tried.

You feel immature for the thought only seconds later. You’re a ruler. You need to get your act together—you can’t be just as bad as them.

“My Liege, it’s almost time for the first official dance of the night.” Barbatos bows to you, swooping his hand gracefully towards the ballroom, “Would you like to reconvene with My Lord?”

“Please. I thought I would never get to see him tonight.” you groan, attempting to walk off the slight cramp in your calf as you follow Barbatos back into the fray.

The second your shoes hit the shiny flooring and make that click clack sound, there are shimmering eyes drawn to your form. They snap away as soon as they look, though, and whether it’s disgust or fear of Barbatos you don’t know. It doesn’t matter though, because finally you’ll get to see your beloved after he’s been mingling with the aristocracy all night. It isn’t hard to find him either, because amidst all the other clumps of beautiful demons you can clearly see an even bigger clump closer to the center.

You don’t even have to mumble awkward ”excuse me’s” as they all step aside for you (mostly for Barbatos though, as he’s leading the way and they’ve already made it plenty clear that they do not respect you) and before you know it, you’re standing in front of your beaming husband and a rather disgruntled Lucifer. He looks about as comfortable as you do in your formal wear, though he doesn’t show it. It’s too bad you know him well enough to see past his facade and pick up on all his little mannerisms he would never allow anyone else to see.

You spare him the teasing right now.

You try not to feel self conscious as you take your place by Diavolo’s side, a soft giggle leaving the lips of the demon you kiss goodnight every evening.

“Hello, my dear.” he whispers in your ear, stooping down to kiss your hand, “I’m pleased to see that you’re well. Have you been enjoying the festivities?”

Lie. Lie until you’re alone with him and can finally be yourself again.

“Yes, it's been lovely.” you lie through your teeth, a single drop of sweat sliding down the back of your neck as hundreds of pairs of eyes bore into you, “Barbatos has been most helpful. I’m incredibly thankful for him.”

Diavolo lights up like a little puppy dog at the mention of his butler’s name, and lets another loud laugh escape him. Despite his cheerful demeanor, you can still feel the hateful glares being directed your way. In the periphery of your vision, you can see Lucifer glaring right back at the demons behind you, and that gesture alone warms your heart. You are safe with these demons. Things will get better.

Even if better is in a few hours, when you and Diavolo will be in bed and he’ll spoon you and hold you tightly and whisper words of love and affection into your ear until you fall asleep. You discovered his habit for sleepy rambling relatively quickly after the wedding, and eventually you couldn’t sleep without it. If it wasn’t for his love, you surely never would have gotten this far with interrealm relations. If it had been anyone else, you would’ve given up.

Diavolo was the definition of shoot for the stars. He truly was an amazing demon.

“My dear.” he coos, eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiles that cheesy grin you know all too well and love far too much, “May I have this dance?”

He stretches a hand out for you to take, a symbol of how you two are bridging two realms together. Some of the people here tonight may think that’s the reason you two are doing this, that it's a diplomatic display to marry each other, but they’d be wrong. You know Diavolo isn’t the type to do something like that.

It’s like the demons in this palace tonight can’t understand that you two just love each other, and that's that.

And so you take his hand.

He sighs, a blissful sound that you know only you can produce from him, and sweeps you across the dance floor. His hand on your lower back is firm and unyielding, but it’s not possessive. Even when you were still living with the demon brothers, he never once overstepped any bounds.

Part of you wished he did.

It wasn’t just him that had wanted you two to spend time together.

You suppose that doesn’t matter anymore, not when his grip is so sure, not when his heartbeat is pounding in your ears as you rest your head against him, not when the demons and demonesses are moving out of your way. You know the respect is short lived and that they are only doing this for Diavolo, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying it for now. Moments where a demon steps aside for a human are few and far between, but with you and Diavolo working together, you hope it will become more common.

“I love you.” you whisper to him, the words quiet enough so that only you two can hear them. You aren’t ready to declare such a vulnerable thing on your own, not when these demons have the strength to rip you apart.

And so Diavolo helps you, just as he always does.

“I love you more than anything.” he declares, his voice as loud as a blaring trumpet, a sharp contrast to your softness. You feel your face begin to burn, especially when you hear a murmur ripple through the crowd, but you cannot stop the wobbly smile on your face.

“Disgusting.”

“A human? Really? How will they rule us?”

“It would have been better if we stayed with our own kind.”

“What is Lord Diavolo doing?”

The ballroom begins to buzz and you feel yourself growing less and less sure of yourself. There are tears pricking your eyes, but you will them away. You cannot let them win.

And then, you see Diavolo’s form ripple. Wings sprout from his back and horns protrude from his head and there’s an uncharacteristically stern glare on his face as he fixes his malice at who you can only assume are the perpetrators.

You feel safe.

Maybe it’s a farce.

Maybe it’s make believe.

Maybe it’s temporary.

But Diavolo’s dream is possible, and you believe in him.

You just need to endure the burdens of royalty for him—the burdens he’s been bearing by himself for far too long.

#auburn's fics <3 #obey me x reader #obey me angst #obey me #om x reader #om diavolo x reader #diavolo x reader #diavolo fluff #diavolo angst #im slowly turning into a diavolo liker /r #honestly i cant believe i wrote this before reaching the lessons where they talk about demon/human marriages #i was SCREAMING when diavolo said there would eventually be a time when mc could marry any of them :(( #I LOVE THAT GUY #and the levi content was so good too #YUM YUM

[chrisemrysfics]

And here I find in my draft a ramble about maturity, in relation to fiction.

It’s not made to be like a proper speech, just rambles read over to make sure there’s a progression of logic and it makes sense. I added more so you can see where it gets a bit less ramble and a bit more clean, but it’s all just, feels sharing.

I post this because I don’t feel I expressed what I do here in the way I did here, and I feel so very strongly about this.

If you want to take one sentence out of it that I really loved once I wrote it, it’s this one: an act can be immature, but a person is never immature, they are always as mature as their own growth and journey has lead them to be.

With bonus of: maturity is not intelligence, to say you aren’t mature enough for something is, in fact, intelligent of you; but to react in immature actions is still nothing about being non intelligent, your maturity is an aspect of yourself in itself, the same way intelligence is another, and age is actually another, because while age can limit the level of maturity you can achieve (due to the brain still growing and also the limit of experiences you can have the younger you are), different people at the same age can be more mature or less mature than each other.

And extra bonus: fiction is, I dare say, almost always meant for people who can handle it, with the expectation that those that cannot handle it will avoid it (close tab, close book, change channel, blacklist, etc). Because that is the mature reaction to have, to avoid what you cannot handle (and minimize your exposure to it). Which is why mature people will not listen to immature reactions, and “defend” the source of the immature reaction, because they can recognize it isn’t a mature reaction, and hope to make the person grow in their maturity to realize the mature reaction is to avoid, not censor.

A quick addition based on my mostly fandom based meta just before: fiction is also the only place, only thing in existence, where you can experience and learn from an infinite number of experience, all the while being safe. It is the only place you can safely discover your limits, and grow your maturity through the fictions you can handle, as you discover different ways a topic, experience, etc can be experienced. Fiction is a mirror of reality, but reality can harm us, and fiction is unable to, and once we are mature enough to react maturely to what we can or cannot handle, we can make use of fiction to learn and know ourself and navigate the real world better. And it’s the other reason mature people will protect the freedom of fiction.

was talking about maturity and i remembered when i was young teen, maybe 13, or maybe even 12, and i asked to use internet, and a neighboor-friend (big brother like) helped me make a forum account and mom was close by too, and with my neighboor we made a joke in my profile (i can recall it still, we wrote “and god created pikachu!”).

things had been going well (i think he showed me some things too), mom wasn’t hovering but was around and sometimes looked to, it was a fun, happy moment.

and then someone messaged me and insulted me, angry that i mis-used god’s name.

needless to say, i got really confused and hurt and i cried, it’s very vague in my memory then but yeah i know i was hugged, and my neighboor replied for me and told the person off and made sure to nail in the fact i was a teen.

once i calmed down, mom asked me what i wanted to do, and i told her, i dont want to try for now, and i didnt, because i had enough maturity to realize i wasn’t feeling mature yet to handle these kind of people and the wild cards of internet.

in the same manner, i was maybe mid teen, maybe even 15/16 or closing in to 17, its lessened now but back then i was really, really squirmy with g/ore and b/lood and ho/rror. however, i cant recall if i saw a bit or saw another and had handled it, or if it was curiosity, but i recall asking to watch Alien (cant recall which one). Its possible i watched one that i handled and wanted to watch the first one, or again, just curiosity. anyway mom just asks to make sure, and i cant for sure if i was alone watching it, but what i recall is being really shaky after, like, growing really anxious in the night and being too afraid to sleep.

that night i slept in mom’s room, and agreed i should not watch ho/rror movie for now (and i believe i didnt try for years).

both of these to say: this illustrates that some things cannot be handled if your mind hasn’t reached enough maturity and also that it IS mature to back away from something you cant handle. mature also is different than adult, this is why we can see teens handle mature topics, but the fact is, minds mature with time and no matter if you feel, or genuinely are, a mature teen, your mind is still growing. there are mature topics, stories, discussions, etc; that you just cannot properly handle.

it is natural to feel distress when your mind cannot properly handle something, but it is immature to blame the content, because the mature thing is to back away. it is also a sign of a lack of maturity of your mind, if you cannot process the complexity of a topic and why people speak of it in different manners.

a lack of maturity is not being stupid. but intelligence and maturity are two different things. if you are intelligent, you should be able to understand you can still lack maturity.

chances are, if you think you are mature enough, and you arent, you’ll encounter topics you cant handle and lash out at the topic rather than pause and ask yourself if you were mature enough for it.

this is also why you’ll see mature people supposedly “not listen”. its not that we dont listen and defend “bad” things, its that we are mature enough to be able to dissect it, and we can see you aren’t mature enough. we arent “defending bad things”, we are trying to make you understand it’s about maturity.

when we say you can love a villain, for example, it means you are mature enough to appreciate a villain and still know they’re a villain and their acts are wrong

when we defend s/exual content and “problematic” content, its because we know the complexity of humanity and we are mature enough to differentiate fiction and reality, and the layers of them, and how they interact together, and how different people have different experiences reading fiction.

The whole reason fiction is often labelled with age as warning is that, in general, someone below that age is not mature enough to properly handle it. Some people of that age can, in fact, handle it, but not all. In the same manner, not every experience of something complex can be “good” or “bad”, because it is possible to have the people involve be mature enough to make it a good version of the experience.

However, the whole reason fiction is so, so important is that it is the only thing that exist where we are 100% safe and yet able to see, learn, experience, all sorts of things. If you need to understand a topic, especially to discover your own limits, you’re safe to do so through fictions, but you aren’t safe to do in real life. And because fan fictions are made by people who are everywhere, who are all kind of people, you will find a much larger range of experiences written.

As a final note: I don’t know how often you, we, hear it, but it is totally okay to feel repulsed by something, and it is totally okay to realize you aren’t mature enough to handle a topic or a specific way something is expressed, or just to admit to yourself that you aren’t as mature as you thought you were. Maturity is something that grows, and everyone has their own pace. Again, maturity is not intelligence, you aren’t stupid if you aren’t mature, and you will notice I’m not saying “immature”. I think, honestly, an act can be immature, but a person is never immature. You are mature, but your maturity evolves, so you are always mature at the level that you have achieve at any moment. Some people grow their maturity at faster rate, some need slower ones.

But I think I love this idea: an act can be immature, but a person is never immature, you will always be just as mature as your own evolution lead you to be. You are mature to a certain level, and you can be more mature with certain topics. And I feel that the first lesson in maturity for any given topic is when you learn not to react with immature actions for the each topic. You already are so, so mature when you are capable of not reacting with immature actions. You never have to “accept” something to be mature. Maturity is when you are able to recognize what you can handle, and what you cannot, and to be responsible for your own comfort.

To demand others to not create content that you can’t handle is an immature act. To avoid the content is a mature act, because you recognize others might need that content, and that the content is not meant to you directly. In fact, I dare say that in general, people who share content, create fiction, only ever aim it for those that can handle it, and expect people who can’t to avoid it.

Yes sometimes you can stumble on a content you can’t handle, but the mature reaction is to say “okay I can’t handle that” and just leave. Close the tab, change channel, stop the movie, close the book, ask for the subject to change if you’re speaking with someone or with people, etc.

#chrishere #Meta rambles #(not about a fandom but also about all fandom so)