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blueberryrock · 4 years

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Here is the last chapter, and now we're all caught up, tomorrow will have the new chapter!

(Third pov)

"Umm log date, 126 3 56. Today marks the beginning of the third month of my pregnancy. It's been at least a couple hundred years since I have last done this, but I really need to talk to some things out."

I would talk to Yellow about this, but it'd probably poof her, and I would talk to Steven, but I don't want to dump all my problems on him, I definitely don't want to dump this on Spinel especially after all that she has been through."

Blue sighs

"So here we go. This is going to sound very very selfish, but I hate this. I hate being pregnant, I hate having to eat, I hate haveing to drink water, I hate feeling them move around inside me. I hate that whatever food that they don't like comes back up. I hate seeing Yellow, White, and Steven so happy about this when I'm not. I don't understand why can't I enjoy this."

"Why can't I enjoy the thought of feeling them moving around inside me, why can't I enjoy the thought of little gemlings running around, why can't I bare to enjoy the thought of Yellow being happy with them."

"Ah shit, I think I hear someone coming, I'll have to finish this later, umm Blue Diamond out"

"This is the continuation of log date 126 3 56, it's been one rotation since the last log and today Steven and Garnet came to visit us, I suspect they actually came for me, and not for White or Yellow."

They both seemed nervous, like they knew something that I didn't, which makes me feel even worse. However, it was very pleasant to see Steven again, whether or not he was acting suspiciously."

He invited me to go for a "stroll", I agreed and we walked around the palace, which was nice but he kept asking me how I was doing/feeling. I thought he meant physically so I said fine (which wasn't a total lie), but he kept on pressing, and I told him I was fine emotionally. Which was a lie? Maybe? I-i still can't answer that question."

But I quickly changed the subject until I dropped him off at Pink's old room (which is now Spinel's room). Then I came to my chambers and started this log continuation, so now I'm just talking to myself again, stars, I should really do something useful."

"But the further along in this nightmare called pregnancy, the less and less work I have to do. Yellow said something about it being less stressful for me and the 'babies', but with all this time on my hands, I've only been thinking about what's going to happen to me."

"When the crystal gem Pearl explained to us what happened to Pink when she was giving birth. Pearl said that as soon as steven's torso came out she disappeared in a flash without even saying a word to anyone."

"I-I don't want that, I don't even want this, I don't want to have to say goodbye, hell I don't want to fucking leave."

"But Yellow watching the gemlings develop and on the scanner is making her so happy, I don't remember when she was this happy, not even when Pink or I first emerged. Not when we learned she wasn't shattered and we found ( I think she was more relieved that the war was over than actually being happy), not even when we invited Spinel to live with us, although I think that's a close second"

"But this, I'm only doing this for her. I have to make it up to her, for all those times she was there for me when we thought we lost Pink. I have to do it even if it means sacrificing myself and if I'll never get to see her again."

"Well I have another appointment to get to, and this time Spinel is coming with us, I wonder what her reaction will be, it will definitely be better than mine."

"Blue Diamond out"

(Blue's pov)

I shut off my screen and I bang my head on my vanity, could I really go through with it? Could I really sacrifice myself? Why am I having these thoughts, this was...no is a big mistake?

I instantly perk up to the sound of my room's doors opening, I whip my head to look at the person that opened them.

"Hey Blue, we are ready to go when you are" Yellow diamond says with a smile on her face.

I try to match her happiness "yeah, umm I'm ready to go now" I push my seat back and I make my way over to the group.

This time Steven, Garnet, and Spinel is tagging along with me and Yellow to my appointment. Spinel is gleefully skipping in front of us as everyone else is going the same pace as me.

"Coome oon, can't you go any faster" Spinel whines. " Now Spinel, I am going as fast as I can" I smile at her as she groans.

We make our way to the medical wing, past the waiting area and into the same room where we first learned that I'm..pregnant.. I take a seat on the same same, pale blue, metal table.

Yellow picks up Spinel and sits down in her chair, she gently sets Spinel down in her lap.

"Ooh I'm so excited!" Spinel bounces up and down.

"Why? The medical pearl said it's going to be a normal check-up" I cross my arms in my lap.

"Well, this'll be the first time I get to see them" Spinels says with a big smile "were you just as excited and happy to see them as I was."

I open my mouth to say something but I just look down at my hands.

"I know I was" Yellow replies with just as much happiness as Spinel "I nearly cried when I saw them, even if they were just little grey blobs"

"Y-yes, I was very happy" I lie, I try to smile but it comes out as a half-smile.

"Anyways, how many little gemlings are there?" Spinel asks another question.

"Three" I answer dryly.

"Huh, I thought it was two" Spinel stops bouncing "oh well, I can't wait to see them!" She continues jumping with almost twice the amount of excitement.

I smile at her sheer silliness, the pale doors open as the small medical pearl wheels in the camera scanner.

"Wait, I thought you were going to use the regular scanner" Steven says, huh I almost forgot that he was here.

"No, every three months I will use this scanner to scan Blue Diamond" the small medical pearls pats the screen part of the scanner "and it has been three months"

The medical pearl turns to looks at me "you do remember how to do this"

I give her an unsure nod "I just lay down and phase away some of my dress?" The medical pearl nods.

I do as she needs and I get as comfortable as I can on my back, I carefully phase away the part of my dress to reveal my swelling stomach. The coldness of the room makes little bumps appear on my arms and stomach.

After the medical pearl sets up the screen, I have to help her onto my bulging belly, she then pours almost two bottles of cold gel onto me. I shiver from the cold gel and the room, it causes the tiny pearl to almost fall off.

"Sorry" I quickly apologize.

The medical pearl brushes her green hair away from her face "it's quite alright my dia-Blue Diamond"

Spinel lets out an excited squeal as the pearl starts to move the scanner around my abdomen. The screen starts making the same noise as before and I turn to look at it.

"Aww two little...well they're not little" Spinel as excitedly "and wait, I guess I was right, there is only two."

"Wait two" I say out loud "there is supposed to be three" I look at Yellow, she looks like she's about to cry.

I look back at the Pearl "what happened" I say angrily, why am I getting like this...?

"I-i don't know" the Pearl frantically tries to look for the third gemling, but she can't find it.

"Wait, I heard something like this happening with humans" Steven jumps up to get a better look at the screen.

I give him a perplexed look. "Well, sometimes if a woman has twins or triplets, one of the babies 'eats' " he makes air quotation marks "or absorbs the other baby, it's actually not as rare as people think" Steven finishes, he jumps back down and takes his seat next to Garnet.

"So, one of the...babies...ate the other one?" I ask "does that mean one of them died?"

"I really don't know Blue, I'm not an expert on this" Steven looks sadly at me "the only reason I know about it, is Connie's mom told us about women that had two babies then give birth to one"

I turn my gaze to the medical pearl, who is trying to silently pack the scanner away "does this mean I have to eat and sleep less?"

"Umm I don't know, I've never seen this, I think you should continue what you've been doing. But please contact me if you feel any different" the medical pearl finally gets the scanner ready to be put away.

"Okay" I wipe off the now warm gel on my baby bump with my sleeve, I sit back up and I look at Yellow. She still looks devastated, I wish I could cheer her up, but I'm not good at it, all I'll do is make her feel worse.

"Hey" Steven calls out, our gaze shifts onto him "were going to go back to Spinel's room, if you need to talk to anyone, I'm here" he looks at Yellow "that's goes for the both of you."

I phase on the missing part of my top and carefully slide off the table, I make my way to the empty chair next to Yellow and Spinel. As soon as I sit down, Spinel decides to move onto the floor to give us some room.

I place my hand on Yellow's, but she doesn't seem to really notice. "Yellow?" I try to get her attention, she slowly moves to look at me.

Her sad, watery, golden eyes stare into mine "what" she says miserably, she turns her gaze to hand.

"Why don't we go to my chambers and relax?" I stand up, trying to get her to move "I can start my extraction chamber and" Yellow angrily cuts me off.

"What's wrong with you?" Yellow quickly jumps to her feet.

"What's wrong with me? I didn't do anything" I raise my voice a little bit.

"Exactly, we just found out that we lost one of our gemlings. And you're just standing here unphased by it" yellow balls her fist, a small lighting arc coming from her elbow to her shoulder materializes "it's like you don't even care"

"Hey I'm just going to go now" Spinel's small voice cuts through the room.

"Me too" Yellow turns to the door, I grab her shoulder and turn her back around "Yellow i-" she cuts me off.

"I'm going to my chambers to think, don't try to send any messages to me" Yellow angrily turns away and heads out the door with Spinel.

Anger seeps through me as I follow them then turn to head straight for my chambers, I try to remain calm as I walk through the somehow crowded halls. As soon as the doors close behind me, I let out an angry groan. I summon a small white orb from my finger and throw it at the wall.

I curl my hands into fists, why couldn't I be sad? Or mad? Or something, other than feeling nothing at all?

I aggressively run a hand through my soft hair, I tear out any knots I come across. I begin to pace around my chambers, with one hand in my hair and the other one on my baby bump.

I yank my hand out of my hair, some clumps of hair is wrapped around my fingers, as I shake the hair off I summon my screen again "umm, log date 126 3 56, this will be my final continuation of this log" I stop pacing and I sit down on my bed.

"So it turns out that one of the gemlings has absorbed one of the other ones, I am now curious if that's going to have any side effects. But I doubt that I'll be able to see it if any occur"

I let out a long sigh "the reason I am finishing this is because I think I made Yellow mad, well not necessarily mad, just upset. But I don't understand what I did or didn't do"

"I would apologize but she said she needs some time to think, but I hope that she'll forgive me, but if not I still have about six months to fix my mistake."

"Stars, I don't know what's wrong with me, I should be devastated that we lost one of the gemlings. I should have tried to do more to cheer up Yellow, I should've done more to prevent whatever happened"

I lay my head in my hands "I need to fix this somehow, but I don't even know where to start, how am I supposed to fix something that started with something that I don't even want" I spit out angrily.

I lift my head out of my hands "Yellow, if somehow you find this, and I am gone, I just want you to know that I am very sorry that I put you through this and with the six months that I still have, I will try to make it up to you. No, I will make it up to you, no matter what"

"I still love you"

So im not very good at "angsty" stuff, so there is my attempt, hope y'all enjoyed it, see ya tomorrow!

#steven universe #blue diamond su #su yellow diamond #bellow diamond #fanfic #i forgot the tags again

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