#hypernatremia will /absolutely/ fuck you up

[soysaucevictim]

I love people dunking on Ji/lly Juice.

I just can't help but think "this is how you completely botch making kimchi or sauerkraut." :I

#i haaate snake oil shit like this #it was a near certainty that she made the last days of some guy w/ the big c EVEN WORSE #'cause news flash nobody needs THAT much salt in their system #hypernatremia will /absolutely/ fuck you up #(just thinking about that case report chubby emu covered on a lady who did the soy sauce colon cleanse) #(because when she was desperate to find help for what turned out to be years of untreated/undx'd celiac disease) #(this colon cleanse did permanent damage to her brain - as in presumed locked-in syndrome) #(don't get me started on people torturing their autistic kids with this garbage)

[yulikitten]

Oh boy… Here we go… "Oh look! Another entitled trans streamer bitching about Twitch! What a shocker! Quick! Let's make fun of her in the comments and call her names and slurs!" Yeah, yeah, get your insults out now. Okay… Ya done? Awesome. Okay, so this is the first time I have ever written a full script for something like this, but trust me, this is going to likely contain a lot of rambling and nonsense. And yeah, I'm gonna bitch about something, and it's going to sound like I'm entitled, but I need to vent my frustrations for a little bit and I want the world to hear what I am going through. So… To start out, hi, I'm Yulikitten, and I am a trans streamer. That word, "trans" is likely a red flag for all of you, and yeah, I can predict the "you'll never be a woman," or the "attack helicopter," or the "40 percent jokes" from a mile away. This shit is nothing new to me and I persist despite those jokes. Like, I'm not going to disappear just because you use a lot of anti-trans jokes and rhetoric against me. And yes, I have been called a groomer before. I have heard it all and I've dealt with it all.

So… I'm a streamer who's been struggling for a little while now. For now, I think it could just be Twitch's algorithm being dog shit, or my shockingly ordinary life that has no flavor leading me to being a boring conversationalist. That could be it, or I'm just playing vidya games wrong. It could be a number of factors, but the point is, I have been struggling. A lot. Struggling to gain followers, struggling to gain subs, struggling to hold a conversation, etc, etc. You name it, and I'm probably struggling with it. Am I boring? Yeah, definitely. Absolutely, 100%. I also try to be VERY nice on stream. Like… Very nice. I've delved into the realm of toxicity before, trust me. However it doesn't work. I should know. I tried that shit. No results, and in fact, I've lost followers over being toxic. Therefore I don't do it anymore. Now, with as of this writing 1323 followers, you may be thinking, "wow! You're still doing better than 95% of the platform, and you're acting… ENTITLED?!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID CU-" and yeah, I agree. I am acting entitled and I know it. But that's not gonna stop me from ranting about my numbers.

I know I'm mediocre. I know I suck. I know I'm terrible. I've been told that my entire life. I act like an asshole because finally SOMETHING SEEMED to be going my way, but as of late, it's been feeling more like things haven't gone my way and it sucks. A good thing was happening to me, and I am suddenly finding myself in a spiraling decline. Now, I'm not here to spill my guts about how I need you all to feel sorry for me. Shit has been difficult my entire life. I'm used to, and am tired of being pitied. I'm tired of being treated like a fucking loser and a failure. So… It's my goal to get… Living comfortably enough from livestreaming and to not have to work a real labor job. I know that's asking for a lot, and it is.

The core of my rant today is to just spill my guts about my low viewership numbers and my lower follower gain. I know every streamer faces this kind of thing. It's not unique to me, and it won't ever be unique to me. I've been noticing this decline since April. I've poured over my data and have deduced that since I stopped playing Guilty Gear Strive, a game that I love but am taking an extended hiatus from due to hypernatremia. In other words, Guilty Gear was pissing me off and I've been avoiding it. Street Fighter 6, as of late, is likely going to end up the same way, if I'm being honest. I think the core of my decline is probably linked to the platform itself and the fact that I do so much better with an active chat. I love talking to my community, but when my community doesn't talk to me… Well, I get tight-lipped and I genuinely can't help it. This isn't a uniquely me issue, either.

I think I just suck at streaming, and I need to get better at it. I need to get better at editing, marketing, etc. I want to do streaming and content creation full-time and I feel like shit for not being able to make it happen after two years. I feel depressed and not worthy of anything, despite my community telling me otherwise, and I know… I know that other content creators are going to call me out for this post. I know they will. Moist Critikal will, and he's going to make fun of me and I don't blame him. I just… I need to get this off my chest that I feel like an absolute loser and a failure and I wish I just didn't feel that way.

I'm not asking you to just drop everyone and go follow me on Twitch. I'm not going to ask that people subscribe. This is just a rant to vent my frustrations and feelings. I need to get this into a tangible form before I fucking explode. Consider this… A publicly available diary entry that everyone can read!

Anyway… Follow me if you want to, I don't blame you if you don't. Link is in the post.

PS. I'm considering streaming on Kick. I don't want to because it has a huge Nazi problem, but I've been looking at Twitch taking L after L, and it's looking very tempting. Well… That's it. See ya

#twitch #twitch affiliate #vtuber #vtubers #small streamer #trans liberation #trans #just hear me out #rant #twitch sucks #i need a hug #i need help #small streamer problems #small twitch streamer #small vtuber #please help