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elialys · 3 months

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Channeling positive energy for 2024

I have been very listless for at least the last couple of years (if not since 2020 and the whole pandemic mess), resulting in a pretty rough depressive episode that peaked this last November. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything concrete to improve your own life when everything around you is just...bleak. And this world does suck so much, so often, in so many ways.

But then I remember how I innately believe that most people are good, and that I am good, too, and that the one thing that always makes me feel better when I'm low is to do something helpful for someone, or to just be kind if I don't have the spoons for more.

(Putting this big ramble under read more)

I think I've mentioned it here before but I've made the decision to try and get into a new field of work, which involves at least two if not three years of studying. Let me tell you, I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks. It's scary as fuck to do something like this. But this job, if I get into the school I need to get into, will be perfect for me. I'll be helping people who need guidance and compassion basically every day.

The bond I got to build with my students was my absolutely favorite part of teaching, but I got overwhelmed by everything else. I burned myself out in less than four years because I became a workaholic who worked 70 hours a week, never took a breath, tried tried tried, yet never felt like I was doing enough. The pressure was incredible, the 'I have to be around hundreds of people every single day', performing in front of entire classrooms full of kids 6h a day'...it just wore me down. Loved my kiddos to death, loved my science team so much, but then the pandemic hit and I lost a few family members within a few months, and I realized it was time for me to go home after 12 years abroad.

The meanest part of my brain likes to tell me I've spent the last four years being basically a useless human blob, but realistically, I know I wasn't. I had been working my ass off since 2011, when I was in America nannying two young kids all day long then going to school full time at night/weekends, before being hired as a teacher in England for 4 years.

I needed the break, I needed time with my loved ones. I needed to help grieving family members, especially my little sister with ASD, who had to learn to navigate life without her mom, who also developed epilepsy on top of everything else while our father pretended nothing was happening. I needed to spend time with my grandmother, who did so much for me when I was young and who's all alone, now. I'll even go as far as saying I've been working on fixing things with my mother this past year living with her, which was not an easy thing. Still isn't, but it's so much better than it used to be, and she's trying, too.

But I'm ready to get my life "back on track", or at least, to get busier , more proactive, more helpful to others who aren't in my inner circle, because I know that's what I'm good at, and why I'm here.

So, yeah, channeling positive thoughts for 2024. I'm not only going to work on getting into that school in the next few weeks, I also just received an email a couple days ago from an editor I used to work with. She's a writing director somewhere else now, and they need writers for a new webcomic project; she told me she immediately thought of me because they'd always been happy with my work, so I'm going to test for that, too, because why the hell not. Actually getting paid for the stuff I was writing a couple of years ago was the most surreal, rewarding experience of my writer life, and I wouldn't mind that happening again.

I want to give the biggest shoutout to my best friend & other butt cheek, @melusine0811, for helping me navigate those last four years, for always believing in me, and for being so fucking courageous when life is just so damn hard. Lauren, you're the bravest person I know, and forever my Donna Noble.

And because I'm sappy this weekend, awards and all, I'm also sending my thanks to my Australian unicorn, just for existing somewhere out there, for being a role model to me from afar these last thirteen years, for being another perfect example of people persevering no matter what, doing the things they love, while always trying to be kind to others in the process. I don't believe in much, but I believe in karma. You do good deeds, good things will happen to you.

Be kind to each other, my lovelies. Always be kind.

#personal #about me #just putting my thoughts and feelings down #encouraging positivity for myself #and for anyone who needs it ❤️#2024 i'm coming for you

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merinelsa · 3 years

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Hello! Why do you like the Hummelberry friendship so much?

ngl , i was a bit worried what had prompted this question since i've not encountered much of a positive outlook towards hummelberry in this fandom except for a very few , but then i remembered about the hummelberry post i had queue'd and this question makes much more sense now

now to the question , why do i like hummelberry . a simple answer would be that they were supportive friends who became a constant in each other's lives whether by choice or circumstance .

most people who dislike hummelberry , either hate them due to their dislike towards Rachel or due to the fact that kurtcedes was replaced by this friendship .As you know , i really do like Rachel and find her extra dramatic behaviour actually endearing and relatable in the way that makes a human act when they put too much of their confidence in their talent and don’t believe their whole personality could be a factor anyone would like them . i used to be part of the second group since kurtcedes was , and still am , my favourite friendship/characters . But i’ve learned to love and appreciate both the friendships and have understood the fact that both the friendships have contributed to Kurt becoming the complex human he is by the end of the show.

Now . i’m not going to sit here and say that hummelberry was the best friendship or were perfect for each other . each of them had their own faults , and there were times i wanted to knock some sense into them . like s3-4 acted as if kurt was Rachel’s gay best friend which pushed him a lot to the sidelines and made his every storyline revolve around her . and if you look at s1 , there are many instances where kurt wasn’t the most understanding of rachel mostly due to the storylines revolving around finn and treated her in not the most kindest way

but they really did grow up and became each other’s support system and hyped up each other when the other was down . they still got irritated by each other’s certain behaviour . But i feel that is one of the things that makes a friendship special . In lady or gaga , when Kurt was doubting his uniqueness and taking it out on elliot , rachel was the one who confronted him and told him he was one of a kind and that his uniqueness is the factor that is going to take him to success . Kurt always does the same for Rachel whenever she doubts herself and her talent . In Glease , both of them where feeding off support from each other to face their exes ( esp the scene where finchel and klaine have that awkward moment in the auditorium , rachel was the one speaking in behalf of kurt to blaine when kurt couldn’t even get the courage to look at blaine and kurt doing the same for rachel telling finn about rachel’s broadway audition and hyping her up infront of her ex ) .

In swan song , when Kurt was relying too much on props to show off his talent , Rachel was the one who reminded him that his voice alone is enough to capture the crowd and told him to dedicate the song to himself and the struggles he had to go through to get where he is today . Kurt was the one who was always beside her when she went through her first broadway show nerves and even genuinely got excited with her when she got her callbacks .

also they are genuinely such a comedic duo , like in end of twerk coming up with stupid ideas to live carefree ( they are the worst rebels ever ) and in s6 , them as teachers was so hilarious to watch ( people don’t truly appreciate the comedic timing of both these characters as individuals and duo and get a bit caught up in the angsty nature of them ) . and them trying to recruit new members to the club was such a cute and hilarious plotline.

Their duets are just too good , like the only one i don’t listen to constantly is Get Back . their wicked duet tradition , the happy days mashup are two of the things that bring me so much comfort . And Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead and Popular duets accentuate the comedic brilliance of these characters .

And hummelberry in s6 deserves a special shoutout , they were at their absolute supportive and best selves in it with a much more balanced friendship as both of them lifted each other up from the rock bottom they’d reached . the scene in llm in rachel’s bedroom where the moment she sees Kurt in a devastated state , she rushes to hug him and give an ear to him forgetting all about the stuff she personally was going through . Her first thought was to give comfort to her struggling friend , look how much of a growth that is ( maybe even a parallel to the s1 bedroom scene where they were pretending to be friends and actually was fighting over finn ) . she’s the one who helped to arrange a meeting with blaine and was with him giving him comfort during that moment in Home gcv where they are looking at a cuddling blainofsky . and in transitioning , kurt called out all his friends ( even blaine ), to help rachel with the big transitioning she was going through and made her feel less alone to take that big jump . and when she was contemplating about whether to go back to college or take the new broadway show , he is the one that reminded her about the big second chance they were getting to be back in the crossroads of their lives and choose the path that they’d neglected the first time.

and atlast the surrogacy , they grew up to trust each other so much to give such an important decision of his life in the hands of rachel .

so yeah , this became quite long , didn’t honestly think i had this much love for this friendship and i feel like i haven’t even scratched the surface of the good parts of their friendship. Theirs were the only friendship the glee writers didn’t forget about by the end of the show and constantly gave development to it through all the seasons . Again , i’m not saying they don’t come with their faults but it is honestly understandable in a situation where both of them are part of the same industry kind of the same deal with klaine

#mer answers #1908jmd #thanks a lot for the ask #hummelberry #kurt hummel #rachel berry

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 5 years

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Witness: Kalashnikorn

Creator name (AO3): Kalashnikorn

Creator name (Tumblr): Main-force-patrol

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalashnikorn

Creator name (other platform- please specify): @Riccarterfans (twitter)

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: My interest in Mad Max started early. I was maybe 12-14 when my mom picked it up on VHS at a garage sale because she had fond memories of the film when it came out (she saw it in theaters, which is rare for her). We’re both fond of cars and dystopian/apocalyptic stuff, so I easily connected with the movie and fell in love with WAY too many of the characters. So there was my weirdo self, in the early 2000s, loving MM1 but not really having a fandom to join. I had fun on my own, drawing stuff, making toys of the characters, writing doofy adolescent fanfic. You know, the works. But I did it in isolation, because I was a LONELY kid. Not just in terms of fandom, there were just never other kids around, or adults (other than my parents) around. Therefore, I spent most of my time online, and lost countless hours lurking on the MadMaxMovies.com forum. But I didn’t feel safe talking to people there, because the only other fans were guys my dad’s age. For years, if I had any kind of fandom-related wish that I’d give an arm to fulfill, it was that other girls and queer folks would embrace the MM series so I could finally share my excitement with people that would “get” me. Fast forward to 2015. Fury Road fulfilled that wish. I knew tumblr was my best chance at getting those friends I’d wanted for so long. It’s better than I’d ever dreamed. Mad Max Fandom, I love you! Special shoutout to @d--t, @crunkmouse, @sillyb0yblue, @sleepymayo, @lethalpr0tector, @legendofstraydog, @partyinvalhalla and @vanessa-geraldine-carlysle!

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: I love to write first-person fic that delves into the darker aspects of the human psyche. How do we justify killing others? What impact does a hypermasculine culture have upon a man with depression and anxiety? Is violence really the key to surviving the apocalypse? I also enjoy writing about people seeking control or freedom, and wrestling with that they believe they need to do to achieve that.

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Since I do first person, I like something to get me into the head of the character I’m writing, so I make playlists for certain characters. 99% of the time, anymore, I’m writing as Roop, so on his playlist I’ve got a bunch of stuff quasi-hipster stuff that touches upon themes of isolation, anger, violence, and feelings of helplessness. There’s a bunch of indie rock, some seventies stuff, and A LOT OF PINK FLOYD. Oh, and there’s some Aussie rock in there too, of course.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Finding the time to write!

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: Roop… And Roop. And my understanding of him has absolutely grown through portraying him. He’s a character that’s in MM1 for like.. Ten minutes? And after the opening chase scene, he hardly has any lines. But Steve Millichamp does an excellent job portraying him with his posture, body language, etc. So I gleaned ideas from his non-verbal performance. Honestly, if you look at the number of times he makes a mopey face, it’s astounding. Other times, he looks at Fifi for guidance, the way a kid looks at a parent or teacher. He doesn’t seem to have any friends at work, partially due to his own personality. I could go on for hours. From all that, I extrapolated that he’s basically caught between childhood and adulthood, and he’s trying to sort out what it means to be a good cop and a good person. Sometimes those things aren’t congruent, and it tears him up because he’s a very type A, hardworking perfectionist. Growing up, he was told that he was gifted, smart, etc., and he feels like an imposter because he fixates on his shortcomings and mistakes. And when trying to live up to this impossibly high standard, he puts a lot of pressure on himself and struggles when he has to surrender or when he fails. There’s a ton more, but those are the highlights. The vast majority my MM/Roop fic stays offline. Pretty much all of it is irrelevant to the rest of the Mad Max universe, so there’s no point in posting it. It’s taken on a life of its own. Of course, some people have let me know that they dislike or disagree with my characterization of Roop. That’s fine. Nobody’s forcing them to read my fic.

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: Oh hell yes. And I’m completely shameless about it, because I don’t think the practice should be taboo or frowned upon. We wouldn’t shame an actor who tapped their lived experience to bring authenticity to a role, would we? I think we should extend the same understanding to writers. Aside from being a great way to understand more about our selves, enjoy an escapist fantasy, or work through trauma, I think self-insertion can be a great way to evoke emotional authenticity in a story.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: I pretty much stick to what I consider my strength, which is genfic. So I mostly stick to portraying platonic interactions, both friendly and unfriendly. I particularly like exploring how Roop interacts with/judges his co-workers. I’m also fond of writing about good moms who love and encourage their kids. Sometimes the mom is the viewpoint character, sometimes it’s the kid. Regardless, I like looking at how parental relationships can shape a person’s worldview.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: My work makes me hyper-analyze MM1 and its novelization. I mostly write MM1 fic because I feel like we could have gotten a lot more mileage out of exploring MM1’s world, before society fully broke down and became the more fantastical wasteland we know and love in MM2, MM3, and MMFR. As much as I like the later worldbuilding stuff, I can really appreciate watching a civilization crumble in a grounded, slow-burning manner.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: Depends on what you mean by “break.” I think a lot purists would say that I break canon, so I’ll put it this way: I like to write stories where I add to canon without directly contradicting it. We’re never shown Roop’s home life, for instance. It’s free real estate! I do this because I just want MORE MM1. More Roop, more MFP, more Armalites, all of it. I don’t feel the need to change anything, just add more volume to it. That said, I love it when others break canon! I have a ton of fun reading AUs and alternate scenes.

Q: Share some headcanons

A: GRAB A SEAT AND PUT YOUR SITTIN’ PANTS ON. Here we go: In addition to recruiting local police officers and other traditional recruiting strategies, the MFP uses conscription to fill out its ranks. Roop is one such draftee. Roop doesn’t spend any time with Charlie outside of work. He really just tries to minimize contact with the guy. If we do all my Roop headcanons, we’ll be here until the Miller completes MM5. Charlie wanted to go seminary school and become a priest, but was drafted. Losing his voice pretty much killed his dream of preaching. Fifi takes an interest in his men, but only so he can better manipulate them into staying/reenlisting. Bubba was a former MFP officer who went rogue once budget cuts and bureaucratic decisions made law enforcement abandon his rural hometown.

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?Inside the fandom, the old RP crowd and I bounced a lot of ideas off each other, and interacting with their muses helped Roop’s story grow by leaps and bounds (finger guns at @d--t’s OC, Renholder, @vanessa-geraldine-carlysle’s portrayal of Charlie, and @legendofstraydog’s OC, Syrup!) Outside the fandom, my biggest influences are Kurt Vonnegut, J.D. Salinger, Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, and Sam Esmail.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: Not yet, but I'd love to go someday!

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project

A: “Autotomy” is my big current WIP. It’s 7 chapters into its 9 or 10 chapter run (I’ve literally got chapter 8 open in another window as I’m writing this). It follows Roop immediately after MM1 ends. He sees the aftermath of Max’s rampage, and begins to question his own ideals. Then his morals are put to the test when an unexpected guest arrives at his home. The word “autotomy” describes cutting off a part of oneself to escape a greater threat. Think of a lizard that sheds its trapped tail to avoid being eaten. I’m using it in the literal and metaphorical sense. At the end of MM1, we see someone have to make a literal life-or-limb decision. And in this story, Roop has to decide whether or not to cut off the toxic ideology that has guided his actions.

Thank you @main-force-patrol @richardcarterfans some of your tags got lost in reformatting. You may want to retag your peeps

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #mad max fic #mad max fic author spotlight #kalishnakorn #main-force-patrol

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