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ewgoals · 4 years

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Phoenix (1)

Chapter one- 1985

1985

Word count- 7,621

Trigger warnings- Drug Use, Cursing, Racist slurs,smoking,underage drinking,fighting, underage sex mentioned, cult themes.

A/N: This is Chapter one of Phoenix, please let me know how you are feelings about this. I am very excited for this, also did you catch the reference or am I too old haha. This isn’t how Harry lost his virginity it’s how the person this book is based off did.

Tatianna Deluca was born on September 24th,1968; She was the fifth child born to Agina and Benito Deluca. Agina and Benito were both immigrants coming to America when they met. Agina Chernyshevsky was born on January 15th, 1942; in Moscow, Russia, she was the only girl born into three boys. Agina’s parents sent her and her brothers to America in 1958, wanting to make sure their children had the best life they could, Agina lived with an aunt for a little while until she met Benito Deluca. Benito Deluca was born on July 18th, 1940, in Venice, Italy.

Benito was the youngest boy of six boys; the family left Italy when Benito was 16. Benito worked various jobs through New York until he finally settled on a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York. Agina and Benito met in 1958 when Agina went into the restaurant wanting to try a New York pizza for the first time, Benito loved the thick Russian accent that the short young woman had plus Agina had a beauty like no other with her bright blonde and stunning green eyes and olive skin. Benito was hooked; what he didn’t know was that Agina had pretty similar feelings towards the man as well. Agina could feel herself falling in love with his bright blue eyes and dark hair; he kind of reminded her of old blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. Benito finally got the courage to get to ask Agina onto a date after she came into the restaurant for the sixth time that week, Agina agreed with no looking back. Benito and Agina were married on July 15th,1959.

Agina and Benito went on to have their first child a few months later, on May 6th, 1960. Agina and Benito both weren’t very fluid with English, so they often talked to their children in either Russian or Italian, depending on which parent they were speaking with, often relying on American music and American Television to teach their children English. All of the children quickly picked up the third language and found almost comfort in music, which led the oldest five to take up an instrument.

Tatianna growing up was a devout catholic just like her family, they would wake up at 6 am just to make it to mass at 7 am. Tatianna would often spend her time in church making fun of her brother’s in the tuxes they would wear, but they would often make fun of the dress their sister would be forced to wear. The kid’s parents would often slap them behind the head to make them stop talking. As Tatianna became more involved in church life, the woman began singing for the choir. She would often be given the parts, where she was hitting high notes and long notes. The young girl was 15 when a record executive saw her singing in the choir and asked her parents if she could join the small girl group he wanted to create, the parents knew that their daughter wanted to be a singer, so they quickly agreed.

May, 1985

Tatianna was moved to Los Angeles, California. When she was 17 after her parents gave her older brother Illya temporary custody of the young woman, Tatianna wasn’t really into the music, the girl group which now went by the name “through thick and thin” she hated it. They were a typical pop group whose songs were written by other people and had no real heart behind them. Tatianna would often tell her brother about it, but she didn’t want to bother him too much, so she would often keep it inside her.

Tatianna was sitting in the studio as the girls were recording their new album. She was getting sick of listening to this girl Ashley sing the same line repeatedly because she was often flat with her delivery of the line. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in like an hour,” the producer just nodded as the woman grabbed a pack of cigarettes and left. She was walking around sunset blvd; she was like a kid in a candy store. The woman loved all of the stories coming out of this strip, and the bands that played here we what she wanted to be, Tatianna shook her head as she lit another cigarette standing across the street from the famous Troubadour.

Tatianna remembered reading a magazine a few years back where the Rolling Stones called in one of the world’s best rock clubs; she was taken out of her thoughts by something hitting her. The woman gasped as she felt the front of her being covered in liquid “what the fuck” the woman’s thick New York accent mixed heavily with a Russian one, especially when she was angry. “I’m so sorry,” an English accent spoke before Tatianna sighed a little as she helped the young boy up “it’s fine, I guess I was to blame too. I wasn’t paying attention” the boy nodded as he said “where are you from because that doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard” the woman just smiled as she spoke, “I’m from Brooklyn, but my mother is from Russia, so it comes out more when I am yelling I am Tatianna by the way.”

The boy nodded as she finished, “Oh, sorry. I’m Harry” The woman just smiled a little curly-haired boy in front of her as she laughed a little “well, Harry, I wish I could say it was nice to meet you. Still, you kinda ruined my shirt” Harry laughed a little as he looked down at the woman’s outfit, she was wearing a pair of high waisted leather pants that she paired with a crop top of the musician Elton John before Harry quickly dug into his pockets and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. He handed it to the woman. “Here that should replace it,” the woman shook her hand as she pushed his hand backNo,o. you are a baby, keep your money. I’ll just make my brother give me his” Harry raised an eyebrow as he quickly came back with, “I’m not a baby. I am fifteen.”

Tatianna laughed as she smiled “you are a baby. I have a little brother just your age.” the man shook his head as he said, “I’m not arguing this. You are wrong” Harry said stubbornly before Tatianna just laughed “here how about this I have to go back to the studio to record some stupid ass songs that I can’t stand why don’t you pay me back by keeping me company because my brother even bailed on me today.”

Harry smiled as he nodded ‘Just let me call my mom and tell her” as soon as the word’s left his mouth, Tatianna laughed “see a baby” Harry looked down as he shouted “okay you win that” Tatianna laughed as she lit another cigarette and motioned with her head “come on little boy” Harry just laughed as the walked back to the studio, Harry asked about Tatianna’s large family and Tatianna asked about Harry’s career.

When they finally arrived at the studio, they walked into a shit show to say the less, Ashley was screaming in the face of the other bandmate Aquanette, better known as Aqua to everyone she cared for. Tatianna was about to leave when she heard Ashley say “I am the only talent in the band, I am stuck with Jungle bunny and a Nazi oh wait I’m sorry she’s also a Guido” The thick southern accent of the woman finished as Tatianna finally pushed Ashley back out of Aqua’s face “you better back the fuck up before you end up on the floor” Ashley quickly got into Tatianna’s face “Suka, luchshe vernis', prezhde chem ya pozvonyu dyade.”

(Bitch better back up before I call my uncle.)

The woman spoke between her teeth as Ashley said, “Hitler needs to calm down” Tatianna rolled her eyes as she said, “I’m Russian, you dumb cunt. I helped stop Hitler, you dumbass hick” Tatianna stayed in the face of the woman as she felt a familiar hand grab her elbow as Harry almost looked scared “Why don’t we leave.” the thick English accent spoke as Tatianna nodded before she left the woman quickly punched the other woman in the face as she grabbed her purse and her leather jacket. Harry smiled sweetly at the woman as they left the building Tatianna grabbed another cigarette lighting it and taking a deep drag as she closed her eyes “That was pretty cool, I wasn’t expecting that left hook” the woman laughed shaking her head “I have four older brothers I need a good left hook to survive” Harry laughed as looked over at her just smiling as he did so.

Tatianna was about to make a joke before she heard her brother Ilya deep voice yell, “what the fuck. I left you alone for a day, and you hit one of them” Tatianna’s New York accent came out as she said, “Fuck You! That racist ass bitch got what was coming. She called me a nazi, but that’s not why I punched her. She called Aqua a jungle bunny” Ilya just shook his head. “Uncle John would be proud” Tianna shook her head before pointing at Harry “this is my friend. He spilled coffee on my shirt, but he’s still my friend,” she joked. The curly-haired boy next to her laughed a little and stuck out his hand “Harry Styles it’s nice to meet you” the man said, Ilya stuck out his hand and shook the other man’s hand “so where to next?”

Tatianna smiled as she said, “let’s get curly over here a fake ID, and let’s go see this new band Guns n roses” Harry smiled before saying, “you can do that?” Tatianna nodded as she smiled “Oh, you poor sheltered boy. Yes, we can do that” Harry nodded as he smiled “yeah let’s do that” Ilya smiled as he said “let’s go find a payphone and get you an ID” The three made their way to the apartment that the studio pays for after getting the face of ID for Harry. They wait a few hours before leaving for the Troubadour.

Once they arrived, Tatianna felt an arm wrap around her waist before she had time to react. “I knew you would come,” Tatianna squealed as she turned around and hugged the man tightly. “Axl!” the older man laughed as he hugged her back, rubbing her back. “Oh let me see what you are wearing” the man joked as he pulled away as the woman did a little turn, he looked her up and down seeing that she changed into a high waisted black skirt, that she pulled up too much to make it into a mini skirt. She paired it a white crop top with the logo from the band Guns n roses “I know my boobs aren’t that impressive, but hey once I get the money they will be done” Axl laughed as he smiled “you look gorgeous” the man hugged her again and kissed her cheek as he squeezed her ass which made her gasp as she laughed.

Harry saw the situation and couldn’t help but get a little jealous of the situation; the man didn’t want to admit it because he barely knew the girl, but he couldn’t help himself. The young boy walked away from the two very familiar friends and went over to the bar and handed the bartender his fake ID and ordered a random drink; the man was on his second drink before Tatianna saw him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder’s “Hey there you are baby. I thought a lost you” Harry smiled as he looked down, “yeah, I felt awkward.”

Tatianna smiled as she ordered herself a drink before she said, “Oh, honey. That’s a good friend of mine. I met him while I was trying to sneak into a concert. If I’m honest, he took my virginity but don’t tell my mom” Harry looked over at the woman as he nodded “My mom made a tent in the back yard and gave me condoms” he joked looking at her as Tatianna smiled before pouting “You aren’t a virgin? Damn, I wanted to take it” the woman joked as she winked at the man finishing her drink before she ordered another one “I haven’t been a virgin since I was four” Tatianna looked at him confused “what?”

Harry looked down as he said, “my first sexual experience was when he was aged four. Living in Venezuela with his peripatetic family – who were subscribed to the Children of God kids were coerced into performing sexual acts with parents and other children. But I’ve blocked it out. I was completely celibate from ten to 14. I haven’t really had sex with many people. So, I decided to lose my ‘second virginity,’ you know, because he lost my first when I was four. So, I decided to drop it to this older girl I knew, and strangely enough, I asked my parents for permission. Instead of just saying yes, my parents put a tent in the backyard for me to get it on in, and they ‘decorated it to enhance the mood.” Tatianna just looked at him, shocked.

Tatianna went to speak, but Ilya said, “Hey, take this. I’m going to this girl’s place. Tell Axl to take you home after” Tatianna took the vile from the man and nodded as she turned back to Harry. “Listen, that’s fucked up. I thought the catholic religion was bad, but wow. I’m sorry that happened” Harry shook his head, “what’s in the vile?” Tatianna shook her head “nothing you need to get your hands on, let’s enjoy the show” Tatianna ordered a couple more drinks as she smiled “come on” the woman pulled him into the crowd as she got closer to the stage, she felt Harry be pressed up against her. The woman smiled as she reached behind and pulled him closer, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist as they looked up at stage “see, I can protect you.”

Harry smiled at his hand around the woman’s waist before looking up as he smiled gently, the woman finished into her drink as she placed it on the floor and leaned down putting the vile her brother gave her into her nose and took a deep breath in snorting a small amount of the powder into her nose. She threw her head back before running her finger over her teeth. “Fuck” Harry was confused, but he didn’t question it too much, they enjoyed themselves during the concert quickly leaving afterward. Harry was drunk, but Tatianna was utterly shit faced, she was high as well as drunk.

When the two teenagers arrived back at her apartment, Tatianna grabbed Harry’s shirt, “Nope. You are staying with me. I’m not letting mommy yell at me because her baby is drunk” Harry laughed as he followed her up to the apartment, as soon as she was in her own house she quickly pulled off her shirt “Thank god” she said as Harry smiled at the woman “I’ll sleep on the couch, get some rest” Tatianna shook her head “you’ve been dancing with me all night and feeling up on me too. You can sleep with me” Harry nodded as he followed her into the bedroom. “If you are more comfortable,” Tatianna admitted as Harry smiled “No. I’m excellent.”

The duo fell asleep shortly after; they were cuddled up when they woke up the next morning Tatianna just smiled at Harry cuddled up to her as she slowly sat up and stretched her back out. The woman looked down and took a deep breath as she saw herself in her PJs, “thank god,” she whispered as Harry spoke, “don’t seem so disappointed” Tatianna laughed as she said, “Maybe when you are older Harry.”

The two friends remained close ever since then, they would always hang out, and when they couldn’t, they would call the other on the home phone in their house. Tatianna just looked at Harry as a friend, but it was evident that Harry felt different, the man would always find a reason to compliment Tatianna or tell her that she was the most talented girl in the world. Tatianna would always tell him that he was good for her ego, but she never really let him take it farther than that.

June 1985

Tatianna was shocked when Harry invited her to the set of Stand By me; she was also completely taken back when she saw her curly-haired boy with a clean-shaven head, it took the woman a few minutes to even recognize the boy she cared about so much. The woman couldn’t believe that he cut his hair, she already missed the curls of the man, she just shook her head at the shock “Hey beautiful boy” was all she said as he hugged her “Hey Titi” the woman smiled at the nickname her family gave her “come on show me around please.” the man nodded as he took her hand and led her into the closed set.

Tatianna gripped Harry’s hand as she felt eyes staring at her, the woman tried to calm herself down by telling herself that they were just trying to figure out who the woman. Tatianna kept telling herself until she heard a female voice said, “That’s the girl who attacked her bandmate” Tatianna just looked down, trying not to cry as she gripped Harry’s hand tighter “Harry, I should go” was all she whispered. Still, he turned back “Hey, you just got here” Tatianna just shook her head as whispered “Harry, these people hate me because of what happened with Ashley” Harry just hugged the woman tightly as he ran his hand down her back “come on, let’s go to my trailer” the woman wiped her eyes as Harry led her back to his trailer.

As soon as the door closed in the trailer, the woman broke down. Tatianna felt like she couldn’t stop the tears as she tried to catch her breath, she wasn’t one to cry about some words that were said about her but more than anything the situation frustrated her which caused the tears to fall. Harry was quick to be by her side as she put her face in his lap, he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her dark locks as he whispered “You did the right thing with Ashley” The woman shook her head as she sat up “clearly I didn’t I’m being called unprofessional and reckless. She called Aqua, a jungle monkey. I mean, yes, it could’ve been worst, but it’s still racist as fuck” Harry nodded as the woman spoke through her tears.

“I know that beautiful girl; you did what any good human would’ve done” Tatianna looked up at the man, as he wiped her tears away “I will protect you from them, please stay” Tatianna nodded as Harry placed his hand on her cheek, she relaxed into his palm as she closed her eyes “Thank you sweet boy” Harry smiled as he leaned forward and kissed the woman’s forehead. Tatianna stood up, and Harry wasn’t far behind her as she grabbed his hand “Ashley is a stupid whore” Harry shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll always have my girl’s back,” Tatianna laughed as she wrapped her arm around his waist “I’ll be your girl when you can grow a beard” “shit” The duo laughed.

Tatianna was sitting in Harry’s chair as they went through the scene they were filming, Tatianna closed her eyes as she listened to the various lines that Harry was speaking. Harry’s English accent was completely gone and replaced with an American one; this caused Tatianna to open her eyes and watch the man in front of the camera. He grabbed her attention; he almost demanded her attention much different from his shy self that Tatianna loved so much. When the director called cut, the woman shook her head as he smiled at her boy, walking towards her.

“What did you think?” Tatianna couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, “You were beyond amazing already. I can’t wait to see it completely.” the woman went to talk as she heard someone fake cough as they said “Whore” Tatianna to roll her eyes as she turned around looking at the woman who just fake coughed, Tatianna just smirked as she fake coughed as well “Cunt” the woman cleared her throat as she spoke “Sorry I had something in my throat before I called you a cunt” Harry tried not to laugh as she took her hand walking away from the pathetic woman.

Harry and Tatianna finally finished at the studio that day, as they were leaving Tatianna made sure to flip the woman off once more as she wrapped her arm tightly around Harry’s waist. When the inseparable duo finally made their way outside, the woman let go of Harry’s waist as she ran her hand over his short hair “please tell me it’s a joke” Harry laughed as he shook his head “Sorry beautiful, it’s all real, but my hair grows back super quick, so I’m not worried.” Tatianna, as she smiled, “well, if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” Harry smiled as he said, “and you said that I’m good for your ego” Harry laughed as Tatianna smiled as she looked over at him and smiled, “what to go out again?” Harry smiled as he looked down at his wallet to make sure he had this fake ID “Sure. if they will still take this”

Tatianna couldn't help but smile “okay, I’ll meet you at the whiskey in like two hours” Harry nodded as he kissed her cheek as Tatianna just smiled as he walked back into the movie studio, Harry couldn’t wait until he was done he missed hanging out with Tatianna due to both of them having such a busy schedule. Harry was finally back on the set, looking around for his co-star, finally settling on Corey Feldman. “Hey man,” the quirky kid just smiled as Harry put his hand on his shoulder. “Did you see her?” Corey laughed as he smiled at the other boy. “Yes, Harry, we all saw the brunette with blue eyes and legs that go on, and the ass that won’t quit” Harry lightly slapped the boy’s head “Shut up. I’m going to convince her to be mine today.”

Corey laughed as he shook his head “No you aren’t she is a rock girl, she wants the sex, drugs and rock n roll. You will never be that guy. She looks at you like a little brother. If you keep on this trail, you will just make yourself sad. Why don’t you ask that one girl who keeps calling you?” Harry looked a little disappointed that Corey was more than likely right about his situation with Tatianna, but Harry nodded, “Yeah, Martha is a nice girl. I guess I should just ask her out already” Corey nodded as he placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder “Maybe one day you’ll get your rockstar girl but no way in hell you’ll be able to get her with your baby face” Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed the other boy’s hand away “Yeah Yeah Yeah I know. She’s too pretty for me.”

Corey shook his head as he said, “quite the opposite you are both beautiful people, she is just in a different mindset. You are looking forever, which is rare in a fifteen-year-old, and she’s looking for right now and how much fun she can have.” Harry nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Corey “I don’t know why that helped me a lot, but you did.” Corey smiled as he pointed at his head “I’m pretty smart, but I act like I’m stupid, so people don’t expect my smartness” Harry smiled sweetly at the other kid “You are beyond smart. You should show it more often.”

Harry went over to The Whiskey A GO GO as he planned with Tatianna a few hours earlier, the man looked around trying to find his friend. When he finally saw his friend she was on the dance floor with a guy dancing behind her, the woman was wearing a pink bra that made her boobs look amazing. She paired it with a black fishnet crop top, the woman’s slim stomach was out, she had a white pair of shorts and a black pair of boots. He could see her long socks, poking out the boots. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from the way the woman swung her hips as she moved them against the man’s groin, Harry saw the man’s arms wrap around Tatianna’s stomach and the other around her neck pushing her closer to him.

Harry looked at the two on the dance floor recognizing the tattoo on the man’s arm; Harry knew it was Axl Rose. The young man just sighed as he went to leave; he couldn’t deal with it. He knew that he just had what people would call a schoolboy crush on Tatianna, but he felt like it was more than that, it had only been two months, but he knew that he wanted her. He wanted all of her. He wanted the woman who stood up when others were scared too; he wanted the woman who demanded anyone’s attention and often would never let another person interrupt her. Harry finally walked out of the bar with tears in his eyes, maybe Corey was right. Perhaps he should call Martha.

July 1985

When July came around, Tatianna noticed that Harry wasn’t talking to her as much, she would often avoid her calls, and when she would show up to his house, he would make an excuse for why he was busy. Tatianna was beginning to have her feelings hurt. Still, she really couldn’t let it affect her, seeing as she was leaving for a tour. The woman would begin a year-long tour around America, and it would start in Alabama of all places or as Tatianna’s brother so nicely put it, cousin fucker state. Tatianna was leaving the next day making sure she said goodbye to Axl and the few friends she made from knowing Axl, the woman was going to force Harry to at least spend an hour with her if anything just to say goodbye.

Ilya told her this plan was stupid, but she did it anyway; Tatianna decided that she was going to get all dressed up, and maybe that would convince Harry well at least his teenage boy hormones to want to hang out with her. Tatianna found a tight pair of white jeans that hugged her body in every perfect way it could; she went with a long cut tank top that she stuffed into the pants. Tatianna did her makeup just like she did the night. Harry told her that she had the most beautiful eyes making sure to make them pop more. Once she finished with her hair, she left for Harry’s house he shared with his family. Tatianna knocked as Harry opened the door the younger man looked almost nervous.

Tatianna raised an eyebrow as she said, “Hey, love, I’m leaving tomorrow. I was kinda hoping we could hang out?” Harry looked back behind the half-opened door. “Umm. Tatianna now is not a good time” the woman tried to cover the hurt in her eyes as much as she could when she heard Harry say her full name “Oh, um sorry. I guess I’ll see you next year,” the woman said, smiling as best as she could. When she went to walk away, she heard a very unfamiliar female voice said “Harry, where did I leave my shirt” this caused the woman to turn around as a young blonde walked out of Harry’s house and said, “Okay, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

The young girl who looked to be just about Harry’s age walked back Tatianna not giving her a second glance, the older of the three people just laughed “that’s why you have been busy?” the New York accent running through Harry’s ears as he tried to cover his embarrassment “My goodness! I thought you hated me! You never came to the whiskey that night, so I thought people convinced you that they were right about me. Harry, you can tell me you have a girlfriend.” Harry smiled as Tatianna found the perfect excuse for him without having to admit his feelings.

Tatianna smiled as she reached out, “can you please come to hang out with me?” Harry took the woman’s hand as he closed the door behind him, the woman smiled wide “Okay, I’ll hang out with you.” the man joked as Tatianna intertwined their fingers “come on I found this cute little restaurant” Harry raised an eyebrow “I’m Vegan Titi” the woman smiled at her nickname as she said. “I know that Harry, I made sure that you can eat” the man shook his head “No, I’m taking you somewhere to make up for me getting all weird” The woman silently agreed as they began walking in the opposite direction.

Tatianna was honestly going to give up on this whole thing until Harry brought her to a private beach. It honestly looked like nobody was ever here. Harry broke the silence as he said, “I found this the night I stood you up at the whiskey” Tatianna shook her head “It’s all good. You stood me up, but I don’t mind. I mean, it hurt my feelings, but you were with a girl it’s fine” the young boy shook his head “No I wasn’t. I saw you dancing with Axl, and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I left” Tatianna looked at Harry, confused as she said “Yeah we were dancing? Why didn’t you come to say Hi? Axl loves you. He says you are a little brother he’s always wanted.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he spoke, “because he was all over you, you said you lost your virginity to him so I assumed you were going to leave together why get in the way?” Tatianna did her best to find the perfect words as she said “Harry, I think Axl is a great man. He’s talented and smart but he’s not the guy I would sleep with more than once well I guess twice. He’s my best friend and we were dancing like that because these guys kept groping me” Harry looked down at the floor as she kept speaking “I was excited to spend some time with you but instead you came to a beach alone” Harry nodded as he said “I had to think about some stuff. About our friendship”

Tatianna looked visibly hurt as she just laughed “great they got to you too” the woman said turning around shaking her head “you are big boy walk home by yourself” Harry quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him, they were face to face “let me go, Harry. I want to go home” the man shook his head “No, listen to me nobody got to me I was thinking about our friendship because it’s so much more to me Titi” Tatianna was confused until Harry leaned and kissed her softly, the woman didn’t react at first before she kissed him back. The woman felt his arms wrap around her waist, Tatianna placed her hand on his arm as she pulled away resting her forehead against Harry’s as she whispered “Harry” The boy shook his head as he whispered back “No, I don’t want to hear you are like a brother to me or that I’m too young.”

Tatianna smiled sweetly as the boy in front of her as she whispered “How about while I’m gone you think about your feelings and when you turn 18 if they are the same we can talk about it” The boy shook his head as he said “I will always feel this way for you so what’s the point in waiting” the woman cupped his cheek as she spoke softly “so that you are completely sure and so that you don’t break that little blondes heart” Harry sighed softly as he pulled her close hugging her tightly putting his face in her neck almost inhaling her scent once more, Tatianna hugged him back tightly rubbing his back “I’m looking for forever and you are looking for fun” the woman chuckled a little as she rubbed his back once more “kinda my precious boy.”

The woman pulled away as she said “I’ll write to you every day I’m on tour. I’m begging you please think with your heart and not your head and find what’s in there please” the girl said kissing the side of his head as she pulled away slowly and made him look at her “I love you Harry and I don’t want to lose you because my heart doesn’t feel this way for you right now” the boy nodded as she kissed his forehead “come on let me walk you home.”

December 1985

Tatianna wrote a letter to Harry every night just like she said she would, the women would try their hardest to avoid telling him about the various horrible things that Ashley would say about Aqua or herself. Tatianna didn’t really care about what Ashley said about her if she’s honest, she just cared that Ashley was able to say horrible and negative things about Aqua and her race because of the fact that this so-called manager agreed with Ashley’s racist ass. Tatianna made sure to always sign her letters with the quote “lots of love and always thinking of you” Harry kept every letter in a small box, they made him feel special, it made him feel even more special when he ran into Axl one night on sunset and the older man asked Harry if he had heard from Tatianna.

It was clear that she was really only writing the letters to him, this sent his heart on fire. He knew that he didn’t need a few more years to think about whether or not Tatianna was the one for him. He knew that she was the one he was meant to be, now he just needed to convince the woman of this as well. He understood why she didn’t want to get with Harry, he was only fifteen what does he know about love but all the boy talked about Tatianna. She was all that was on his mind, she consumed most of his thoughts. She was an addiction and Harry had no plans on kickin it.

Harry decided that he was going to tell her all of his feelings about her when she came back to Los Angeles for her next concert. He felt it was the perfect option, if she said no then he could have six months to get over the heartbreak before he would see her again. Harry made sure to get himself all dressed up for her concert, he was wearing a pair of khaki skinny jeans that he put a black shirt on but quickly covered it up with an orange sweater. Harry felt it was perfect, nothing too fancy but also something casual so she didn’t get any ideas in case he changed his mind.

Tatianna was sitting in her dressing room, which she happily shared with Aqua. The woman was finishing her makeup as Aqua spoke “Did you hear that Ashley is trying to go solo?” Tatianna laughed as she began putting away her makeup “I would like to see that. Please don’t get my hopes up” the other woman laughed as she looked at Tatianna “girl you need to get out of this band. You are way too talented to be here” Tatianna shook her head “No, I’m not leaving you so unless you agree I’m staying right here with you” Aqua just shook her head “when you leave I will too. I’ll work in your parent’s restaurant”

Tatianna laughed as she lit her cigarette and took a drag before saying “I’ll hold you to that. I’ve decided if she says anything tonight she’s getting knocked out on stage” Aqua laughed as she shook her head “Please. I’m begging you to just do it at the end of the set” Tatianna smiled as the devil herself walked into the room “Michael Jackson is in the crowd tonight, you two better not try to show me up” The southern accent rang through the room “Shut up. If you speak to me again you will get fucking hit” Tatianna said standing up “Okay little boy, talk to me when you grow some boobs” Aqua quickly grabbed Tatianna as Ashley turned around and slammed the door.

Tatianna rolled her eyes as she went to her bag and grabbed her outfit for the night, Tatianna put on a pair of high waist black spandex shorts that showed her ass perfectly. The woman put on a red button-up shirt, she tied up to show off her torso “I’m going to kill her tonight” Aqua changed into her stage outfit as Tatianna looked over at her and smiled softly “promise to leave with me” Aqua smiled as she nodded “Yes, You and me” the girl winked. Tatianna walked out of the dressing room and saw Ashley having Harry almost pinned against the wall as she was leaning into Harry.

Tatianna quickly walked over and pulled the woman away from Harry, the woman put Harry behind her as she said “Ashley, go-to side stage now” Ashley just rolled her eyes as she looked at Harry who looked very nervous “call me” Ashley winked as Tatianna turned around looking at Harry “Are you okay?” the man nodded “Yeah, I was trying to give you these flowers and she kinda attacked me” Tatianna looked down completely heartbroken that she put him in this situation, the woman quickly hugged Harry as he hugged her back he buried his face in her neck again for the first time in a month. Tatianna pulled away as Harry handed her a bouquet of blue tulips as she smiled softly “Oh my goodness thank you.”

Tatianna took a deep breath of flowers as she kissed Harry’s head-hugging him tightly afterward, the woman closed her eyes for a moment as she took the man’s hand leading him and Aqua towards the side stage. Tatianna pulled Harry close almost making him wrap his arm around her waist “you smell good” Tatianna smiled a little as she heard Harry’s voice next to her ear “well thank you, sweet boy.'' The woman said as she placed her hand on his arm that was wrapped around her torso, the woman handed him her flowers “Stay here and be safe” she said kissing his cheek.

Tatianna took a breath trying to control her emotions, the woman walked on the dark stage standing where she was supposed to as she took the microphone. Tatianna closed her eyes hearing the first note of the song, the woman hated dancing but she was taught the dance moves so she did them. When Ashley finished her small number, Tatianna finally sang the words “We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is homeless” Aqua and Tatianna took over the next lines singing with perfectness. “Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that. Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours”

Ashley looked angry as Aqua and Tatianna’s voice blended perfectly together, Tatianna wasn’t really paying attention to Ashley she was more forced on the boy on the side stage. Tatianna didn’t want to admit that the boy with a little crush on her was causing her a lot of feelings, she knew that she couldn’t be with not until he was older. When he knew that she was what he wanted, she couldn’t be the reason he didn’t find true love.

Tatianna was taken out of her thoughts by Aqua singing her part “When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me, does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down? Or would you play it safe and stay? Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless”

Tatianna went to start singing as she walked to the other side of the stage, where she was tripped by Ashley. The dark haired fell and hit her face on the stage which caused her to bust open her lip, Ashley gasped trying to play the good guy. Tatianna couldn’t take it anymore; she managed to spit some of her own blood out of her mouth and quickly tackled Ashley onto the floor of the stage. Tatianna had the racist ass bitch pinned down as she threw shot after shot. The women didn’t realize what was happening until she felt familiar hands wrap around her waist and pull her off quickly, Harry lightly shoved Tatianna towards the side stage as medics rushed out to help Ashley.

Aqua and Harry managed to get Tatianna back into her dressing room, once she was there she began to clean up her own lip “I’m fucking done! I’m going back to New York! I’m going to work in my parents restaurant for the rest of my life and if I see that bitch in New York i’m calling my uncle and I’m going to have him get that bitch” Harry looked a little confused seeing as he’s never heard the woman speak like that and he’s never heard of his restaurant. Tatianna was taken out of her screaming as her older brother walked in “Ты тупая сука. Как мы будем теперь есть?” (You stupid bitch. How are we going to eat now?)

Tatianna looked down as she closed her eyes trying to avoid them filling with tears, the woman didn’t really even think about her brother in this situation. She was more worried about the fact this woman have the guts to trip her and bust her lip on stage, the woman looked up at her brother with tears in her eyes as she spoke back “Мы можем просто пойти домой, пожалуйста” (Can we please just go home)

Illya went to argue but sighed softly “Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Aqua followed her brother out of the room, which left Harry and Tatianna “so you are really going back to New York” Tatianna sighed as he spoke before nodding “don’t really have a choice. I don’t have that much money, I’ll go home to my parents and forget this music dream” Harry shook his head “You can’t do that, you are beyond talented. Your voice makes me believe in angels” Tatianna shook her head as she smiled “Thank you but I can’t do this anymore, I need a break from all of this” Harry nodded as he looked down sadly.

“I’m in love with you” was all the english accent said as Tatianna sighed softly looking down at her vanity desk “Harry, you are fifteen. You don’t know what being in love is” Harry shook his head “yes I do. I know that you are all I think about and when I see you I get this overwhelming feeling in my chest. I know that you feel something too or you would’ve told me to drop it and not wait until i’m eighteen or write only me letters” Tatianna looked up at him as she stood up and walked over to him as she took his hands “Harry, I’m your first real crush. That’s what it is. The girl you lost second virginity too was a girl that you could have sex with.”

Tatianna kissed his hands before she said “Harry, you are the most amazing kid. Maybe later down the line it will be good for us, right now I don’t even know what is going to happen with my career or my life and how can I get into a relationship with someone who needs to learn more about himself as well as what love is? I need to focus on me. I need to fix myself. I can’t help you find you as well” The woman said as she finally met Harry’s eyes that were filled with tears. Tatianna felt like an asshole but she knew that she was right but he was also right. She did feel something but not enough to ruin what was going on for him. The older woman wrapped her arms tightly around Harry, he did what he always did when they hugged, burying his face in her neck. The two stayed for what felt like hours, in some sick way they both knew this was goodbye.

Tatianna and her brother Illya packed up the apartment they shared, and took a bus back to New York. California was always going to be in Tatianna’s heart, it was the place she found the purest man and almost gave her heart to him.

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry imagine #axl rose imagine #one direction imagine #one direction #one direction imagines

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teacupcedes · 5 years

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Jealous

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Chloe Miller, and Samuel Evans TIME FRAME: Tuesday Afternoon, May 28, 2019 LOCATION: Adams Preparatory High School; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Chloe purposefully slinks around Samuel to get a rouse out of Mercedes which causes a small fight between the two girls.

Mercedes stood at her locker, leaning against it slightly as she scrolled through her phone. Quickly she responded to a text before she sat the phone down, grabbing a text book for her next class. Reaching back inside the locker she began to rifle around for her notebook. Unable to find it, she huffed before she remembered that she had taken it home to transfer some notes. With a sigh of relief, Mercedes leaned up on her toes, pulling her backpack down from the hook. She sat the textbook down on the locker shelf before she unzipped her backpack, opening it quickly and pulling out the notebook that she was looking for. She flipped through a few pages, double checking something before she closed it and placed her backpack back on the hook.

Samuel moved down the hallway with a stack full of makeup work, he hated school. He couldn’t wait to leave the hell hole honestly, all it was, was a waste of his time. He could be out getting a trade, working construction or welding or something. But no, he was here learning what the fuck y+x equaled, like he gave a fuck. Licking his lips, he tossed the stack in the garbage can he passed by before he made his way towards his locker.

Chloe strutted down the hallway effortlessly in her wedges, purse resting perfectly between they crook of her arm as she spotted her target. The video of him and Mercedes had circulated across the campus, neither seemed to really care but Chloe knew Sam. Knew him well enough to push his buttons, walking up behind him she wrapped her arm around him. “You know, it’s amazing none of our videos got leaked. I mean...” she chuckled. “We sure made better movies,” she said aloud as she walked.

Mercedes quickly grabbed the notebook and the textbook, stuffing her phone into her back pocket before she shut her locker. Glancing down the hall, she noticed the back of that damn blonde head and those ugly ass wedges, and she grunted softly. “What the fuck…” she mumbled as she crossed the long hallway quickly, books in one arm as she reached out with her freehand, grabbing Chloe by the back of her head, her fingers gripping her hair straight from her scalp as she snatched the girl back roughly. “Bitch,” she began as she tossed the tiny girl towards the lockers, “hands off my man.”

Samuel turned to see Chloe and he rolled his eyes. “Get your hands off me Chloe,” he said simply as he licked his lips, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket. He continued to walk down the hallway before he heard Mercedes, and with a huff he turned around.

Chloe sighed at Sam, “why are you so down?” she asked poking her lips out playfully. As the ripping pain of Mercedes snatching her hair crippled her, yanking her head back she squealed. Looking to Mercedes, she comned her hands through her hair, leaning against the lockers. “Or what?” she challenged with a raised brow, pulling hair from her mouth.

Mercedes looked at Chloe shocked. The girl had some balls, she’d give her that. “Girl, stop, I’ll fucking dog walk your ass,” Mercedes told the girl easily, shaking her head. “Your bitter ass needs to give it up. Sam don’t want you; don’t nobody want you. Once a hoe always a hoe,” Mercedes told her with a smirk, her tongue rolling over her teeth slowly.

Chuckling slightly, Chloe looked to her. “Says the woman who’s only good for being laid on her back in a car?” she asked Mercedes. “That type of carrying on sure won’t stop him from running to me for more sex if he wanted to,” she reminded as she leaned down picking her purse up from the ground.

Mercedes gazed at Chloe, tilting her head to the side a little nodding slightly as she licked her lips. “Mmm,” she hummed out softly before without hesitation she punched the girl dead in the mouth. “Keep talking bitch,” Mercedes told her, still holding her books in her arm. The fact that Samuel cheated on her early in their relationship still a sore spot for her.

Samuel’s eyebrows rose as he looked between the girls, he wiped the corner of his mouth as he whistled softly to himself. Turning on his heels he moved out of the way and down the hall a bit as a crowd formed. It was still very much so a turn on when women fought over him, no matter the circumstance.

Chloe growled at Mercedes’ punched. She would admit this happened to be her least favorite part of being a bitch, or bully, whichever name they chose for the week. She swung her purse in Mercedes direction hoping all that was in it was enough to suffice as she did it a second time. “I don’t know what he sees in your fat ass,” she barked.

Mercedes laughed out as Chloe called herself fighting back by swinging her purse at her. “He sees this fat ass,” Mercedes said turning to the side to show Chloe the bountiful ass that she carried. “Anorexic bitch,” Mercedes growled out before she punched Chloe in the mouth once more for calling her fat in the first place. She shook her hand out after that one before saying, “Girl are you done because I got to get to class, just stay away from Sam,” she said as she moved to walk away.

“Break it up!” Principal Turner said trying to make his way through the large crowd in the hallway. If it were Samuel Evans today, he was going to have the boy arrested, he was up to his neck with certain students. Samuel being the main one of the bunch. As he saw the Mercedes Jones, star pupil but waste of space because ultimately, she was wasting her time with a no good, stupid kid name Samuel, he snatched her up tugging her back into his direction. “I hope I can suspend your little butt for the rest of the school year. To my office.” he said pushing her in that direction. “Chloe see your way to class, the rest of you, clear the halls!”

Mercedes whipped her head back when Principal Turner snatched her up and she looked up at him incredulously. “Hands off me!” She said as she shrugged him off, trying to brush his hand off of her body. “Oh! So, you going to snatch me up but that skinny white bitch gets off scot-free?!” Mercedes asked him dumbfounded. “Ol racist ass…” she muttered to herself.

“Be quiet Jones,” Turner said in response to her as he personally tugged to her his office. He was fed up and tired. The comments the girl made had no effect, he had every intention on getting her out of his school as soon as he could. As the Principal there was only so much you could take. As they made their way to the front office he looked to his assistant and said, “get Jones’ parents on the phone, maybe they’d like to know about this little video that keeps circulating around my school as well,” he threatened. “And find Evans, call his father as well….”

Mercedes mumbled and grumbled to herself as he continued to drag her against her will. “This is bullshit…” she said as they entered the office before, she looked up at the man like a deer in headlights. “What?!” she squealed out. “That has absolutely nothing to do with school!” she said trying to find some common ground. “The real question is why the hell you watched it anyway, huh?!” she asked him huffing out. “Trying to get your pervy rocks off?” she mumbled once again to herself.

“If you say one more thing, so help me God Jones,” Turner replied giving her a serious look. “Who can help but watch when every corner I turn all I see is students watching it on their phones!” he argued angrily. “Have you no self-respect?” he asked her. “You are one of the brightest students I have, could be the next president but you are too blinded by what you think is love. And out of all people you chose a guy who does math on a middle school level. Sit down,” he demanded.

Samuel was stopped by security before he could even make it to the corner of the hallway, he had nothing to do with the cat fight and here he was. As he stood outside in the hallway, he listened on sighing harshly at Principal Turner’s rant. Moving to open the door, he walked into the front office, looking to the man and then to Mercedes.

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the principle as she plopped down in one of the chairs, her books in her lap. She listened to him and grunted softly, her eyes rolling again. Who was he to lecture her? He didn’t give a damn about his students. That was obvious. Instead of trying to figure out ways to help her boyfriend, he’d rather sit back and watch him struggle then call him stupid. “He’s not stupid,” Mercedes mumbled out, never about to let that go. She refused to let people talk down on him, not even himself.

“He’s not stupid, he’s worse than that,” Turner replied looking to the girl. “Evans get comfortable!” he barked.

“Why am I up here?” Samuel asked defeatedly. “I had nothing to do with that, Mercedes is her own person.”

“Like you don’t have mind control over her?” Turner asked.

“I really don’t…” Samuel sighed sitting two chairs down from Mercedes.

“Mercedes will be suspended, if I’m lucky. And I will be calling your parents about that little video,” Turner told Samuel.

“Fuck me,” Samuel said resting his head in his hand as he dropped his backpack down to the ground.

Mercedes opened her mouth to say something back to the principal when she noticed Samuel standing there. Tucking her lips inward, Mercedes sat back in her seat, her eyes following Samuel as he purposefully sat two seats from her. Shifting in the chair, she crossed her feet at her ankles looking away from him before she huffed at the principal’s words.

“Dumb ass fucking video. Dumb ass fucking school…” Samuel said angrily, “fucking tired of this shit bro!” he exclaimed. “I don’t have nothing to do with two females arguing over me, that’s their business. I don’t have anything to do with a video, not my business either,” he said vocally.

“Be quiet Samuel,” Turner said as he moved to his office.

“Fuck you,” Samuel replied.

Mercedes sat there, looking down at the floor as Samuel began fussing himself. She stayed quiet as a mouse, not forgetting about how he literally just left her to fight Chloe. Females?! At his choice of words, she sucked her teeth, her lips smacking slightly as she nodded her head. However, despite that she remained quiet. She was already in enough trouble as it was. She didn’t need to tack on arguing with her boyfriend in front of the principal to the list.

“Aye man, fuck this shit,” Samuel said as he stood up grabbing his backpack and placing it on his shoulder. Walking out of the office, he moved towards the exit and the parking lot for his car. He was out and he didn’t care about the consequence.

Mercedes looked over at Samuel when he stood up and walked out. She looked at the principal’s office door and the assistant before she too stood up and walked out without a backwards glance. She moved down the hallway, stopping at her locker briefly to toss her books in and grab her backpack before she out of the building behind Sam. “Sam!” she called out for him with a frustrated huff as she slung her backpack over her shoulder.

Samuel pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, putting it between his lips and lighting it with his lighter. As Mercedes called for him, he kept walking, his pace never changing as he made it to his truck. Unlocking the door, he slung his backpack in the back seat of the truck before he closed the door. “What?” he said looking to her. “I told you that fucking video would be trouble. Now if he calls your fucking parents you gone be the first one crying like a bitch,” he barked.

Mercedes was basically running, her short legs trying to catch up with Sam’s. As he stopped at his truck, she quickly closed the distance between them. As his words her neck jerked back, and she took a step back as well. “Wow…” was all she said before she turned to walk away, reaching into her backpack for her car keys as tears welled up in her eyes. “Fuck you Samuel!” she called out to him as she approached her truck.

Samuel exhaled a cloud of smoke as Mercedes walked away from him and he sighed heavily. “Baby!” he called out to her kicking himself, he really didn’t know how to talk to people at all. “Mercedes!” he said as he began to walk behind her, “Mercedes, I’m sorry,” he told her loudly. “Aye, aye!” he called out. “Hey!”

Mercedes whipped her head around. “What?!” she huffed out, not even looking at him. She couldn’t look at him. Her feelings were hurt, and she was mad as hell. If she looked at him, there was no telling what she’d do.

“I said I am sorry,” Samuel repeated thinking in his stupid head that was enough, even though it wasn’t.

Mercedes sucked her teeth at his words and she shook her head, her gaze still looking past him. “So…” she said roughly. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” she questioned before she looked at him, her eyes burning with unshed tears, hurt, and anger.

“Well--” Samuel started not knowing what to say really to her before he finished, “yeah” he added to her. “What you start that fight for? You know damn well she just want to get up under your skin and you letting her...” he said looking to her before he stuck the cigarette into his mouth again.

Mercedes allowed a single tear to trickle down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away, shaking her head at herself. “What?! I’m just supposed to let the bitch that you used to fuck be all on you?! Especially when everyone knows that you fucked her while we were together?!” she asked him. “Yes, she gets under my skin and it’s your fault!”

Samuel inhaled sharply, exhaling smoke through his nose and he nodded his head at her. She was right. “I wish I could take that shit back Mercedes, I really do,” he said being the most honest with her he probably ever had been.

Mercedes look away from Sam once more, another tear falling down her plump cheek. She couldn’t stand him, and she loved him at the exact same time. “You get on my nerves,” she whispered softly before she stepped to him, laying her head on his chest.

“I thought that was why I was here?” Samuel said to her as he wrapped one of his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. Samuel dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, putting it out. “I love you Mercedes, and I apologize.”

Mercedes let out a small laugh, shaking her head into his chest. “I love you too,” she whispered as she leaned up on her toes, reaching up with her hand to gently caress his cheek, pulling him down some to kiss his lips.

Samuel leaned down to kiss Mercedes lips; his eyes fixed on the exit door to the school as he pulled out another cigarette. Samuel grabbed his lighter again, licking his lips as he lit another cigarette.

Mercedes groaned softly at the taste of the cigarette on his lips. “Baby you’ve got to stop smoking these,” she whispered to him softly. “I can stand the weed but not these things…” she said with a head shake as she pulled away from him.

“I can’t,” Samuel said, “I can’t smoke weed on campus, they’d really try to fucking get rid of me. I am stressed. If he calls, we are screwed why aren’t you nervous Mercedes. This is serious,” he said to her.

Mercedes shifted on her feet as she leaned back against someone’s car. He had a point, though she was sure any type of smoking on campus was against the rules. “I know…” she said gently before she looked down at her feet. “He’s not going to show them…” she said confidently. “He’s just trying to scare us…” she said. “What’s it going to look like if he does? That he’s out here stalking his students’ personal lives?” she said thoughtfully. “He’s not going to tell them…” she said again.

“You don’t know that ‘Cedes, you don’t know. This shit is fucked up,” Samuel said freaking out. He was failing, he has a crazy manipulative ex, and now this. A video of him and Mercedes, he sighed heavily. “Fuck this shit, I am just going to drop out and find a job and shit,” he said talking recklessly.

Mercedes looked up at her boyfriend, listening to him as he began to freak. Sighing deeply, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her. “Shut up,” she said quickly. “Just be quiet,” she told him in a soft voice. “Breathe,” she said to him after a moment, as she took a breath as well. “Just breathe.” Taking another breath with him, Mercedes then said, “everything is going to be fine,” she told him. “We’re going to be fine. You’re not dropping out. We’re going to work hard this summer, you’re going to catch up in your classes, and we’re going to be just fine,” she told him reassuringly.

Following what she instructed, doing exactly as she said as Samuel inhaled and exhaled clouds of smoke. It hadn’t worked as much as he needed it to, “why are you with me? You heard him. I am a screw up” he told her. “A nothing, a nobody…”

Mercedes gazed into Samuel’s eyes. “Stop that,” she said to him sternly. If she didn’t hate anything else, she hated how he talked down about himself. “I don’t care what he says or what he thinks,” she told him. “I believe in you.”

Samuel pulled the cigarette carton out of his pocket, he only had one left. He closed the box and stuck it back into his pocket before she dropped the cigarette bud on the ground and stepped on it. “Okay,” he said not fully convinced, but he would let her have it today. “I’m bouncin’” he told her backing up slowly.

Mercedes sighed out, nodding. “Okay...” she said with a small pout as she backed towards her car as well. “I’ll call you...”

#thread: jealous #thread with: samuel carlton #thread with: chloe grace #thread #004

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buzzworddotie · 6 years

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The Vixen Bites Back

This is going to be an overview / opinion on all the goings on across Episode 2,3 and Untucked!!

To start I've officially gotten over my lack of remembering names and continue to be 100% in love with this season, because even if the challenges are a bit Wah-Wah the fucking Queens are everything!!

First off, I'm just going straight there. The Vixen. I thought initially she was going to bug me because she was seeking drama for dramas sake. However, as I think Cracker rightly says, this girl is SMART. If you didn't catch episode 3 and specifically Untucked for that one, well you've missed out on a Queen telling it exactly how it is, pulling no bullshit and finally speaking all the truth!

Yes The Vixen, Yes! This Queen and Aquaria have been going in on each other and it has not been one sided. Aquaria was giving it all that on her high horse about Cracker stealing from her. She wasn't afraid to mouth off when she felt safe and hidden from her "foe". However The Vixen had zero issue in calling bullshit once Aquaria decided to dodge the opportunity to confront Cracker back in the workroom, which was weird since she did say that it was her intention to do so...

Yet for some reason as episodes pass, Aquaria decided to go ahead and poke the bear some more. When she called out The Vixen for that wig swap what was she expecting exactly? To not get bitten back?

The genius of The Vixen is that she is prepared and able to argue back. And not in a bitchy way, she is able to have her bullet points lined up and completely call out anyone's shit. She's clever and I imagine she would happily go toe to toe with anyone in a debate. Where it all fell down for Aquaria however is that she is unable to bring the debate back to her.

Aquaria is like the embodiment of social media culture. She is happy to say something that may cause some controversy or be a bit bitchy so long as she feels safe, like any keyboard warrior. But there is nowhere to hide here so once she suddenly has to take a rebuttle, she immediately feels "attacked". And she's not, she's not attacked, she's not being bullied, she is simply getting her comeuppance for the things she says. But since she doesn't have the wit to stand behind what she says, she feels hurt.

Look I'm all for empathy, to my detriment at times, but it is hard to feel sorry for Aquaria in these confrontations with The Vixen. And I don't think that means Aquaria deserves to be attacked or have her character assassinated but I also don't think that The Vixen should have to monitor what she says to her.

The Vixen made it clear that she is ready to stand her ground, she doesn't scream or threaten, she simply provides a logical argument. Take the wig scenario, Aquaria mentions that clearly the runway doesn't matter in her view, so The Vixen can obviously rebutte that that statement makes her poking about the wig redundant. And she's right.

In Untucked we see the whole situation get brought up again only now even Dusty gets to comment on her feelings of Aquaria being cold outside of the show. This all results in Aquaria "crying".

Aquaria's emotions came from being called out and it was an instant defence mechanism. It wasn't because of any one thing hurting her, it was embarrassment. Jesus, we've all been there, done or said something to look dumb or make a mistake and once we get caught or called out sometimes it can be easier just to play the victim a bit. Or is that just me?! It's not right, but it happens. And it doesn't make Aquaria a bad person, it just makes her a bit immature.

The Vixen does an incredible job of pointing out the facts here with a level of fourth wall breaking that would put Deadpool to shame as she highlights the fact that to the viewer she will be painted as the "angry black woman". I'm not even going to pretend I can relate to that, I'm whiter than Casper the ghost, but there are some Drag "fans" out there who spew some of the most vile and racist shit you can imagine. It's something I can't wrap my head around to be honest and I don't think the scumbags who do that are actual fans.

From what I can see, the black community has been historically ground breaking in terms of Drag. The very show they are watching was created by a black Drag Queen. It is one of the most diverse shows that there is on TV.

But the fact is most, if not all, of the Black Queens who have been on Drag Race get horrid, racially driven abuse and it is disgusting. It's as if they like the white girls who try to act like black girls but not the actual black girls.

So to see The Vixen put it out there plainly as she did was a champion moment for her. And even her response when Aquaria mentioned that she understood, and I believe she did, was simply to tell her to act like it. That was brilliant. She didn't go after her, she didn't row with her she simply asked her to prove herself by her actions, not just her words.

I mean, clearly this was back then and I imagine we will see growth from Aquaria in this sense but in the larger scheme of things and the social media culture around Drag Race I think The Vixen has done an incredible job of speaking up and fighting for something that I believe she really came to the competition to fight against. The Vixen could prove to be one of the more important contestants to come on this show in terms of calling out the bullshit behaviour that happens online and I am here for it.

And while the race issue is one that does not deserve to be diluted, I think her points even go beyond race. This ability to say whatever to someone and not to be prepared for an argument back is 140 character behaviour. To play the victim, to pull the "bullied" card is done so readily at times and I am so happy to see an intelligent and strong person who is ready and able to reach through the screen and confront the keyboard warrior.

And on with the show...

With my thoughts on The Vixen out there I'll move on!

The Pharmarusical episode featured Andy Cohen who I am not here for ever since that moment where he insulted Trixie while she was RIGHT THERE but he showed up anyway for the mini challenge and for that weird cameo during the performance.

I thought Monique Heart got it a bit rough during critiques because I thought she was pretty good during her performance but then what do I know? Really love her though, a stunnah in drag and seems so lovely and sweet, I hope her momentum starts to take off. She was hilarious during the Ep3 mini challenge as well, I cannot wait to see what she's got planned for Snatch Game!!

I'm keeping an eye on Blair as well, I get the feeling this could be that Queen that does a Dela/Jinx in Snatch Game should she make it that far.

Cracker continues to shine for me, I don't know what it is there is just something about how she carries herself or her delivery or something that is so endearing. She puts the C in C.U.N.T.

I don't think Cracker has had a chance to peak yet but I feel like she's on a steady rise.

Asia is another one that I just love, her sense of humour seems so great and I said it in my first post and I'll say it again as a Queen, beautiful, as a boy gorgeous. As soon as she blew up her fringe during that runway I was sold, it was beyond cute it was fucking extra. Yes the gag of her face was funny during during the App challenge but I felt like the runway really won that for her and I was so happy to see her with a win. I'd love to see Asia go all the way.

This isn't even a review anymore, it's not linear at all but I need to interject and just throw Mayhem Miller's lip sync in here right now because WOW! I knew she'd be an incredible lip syncer and I was proven right.

This also leads me to wishing we saw more of a genre mix with LSFYL songs because there is something so badass seeing ladies who rock celebrated on that stage and I think that grungy rock music makes for a really exciting battle. Don't get me wrong, I adore me some pop and I live for soul and disco but my heart beats to a good drum and bass line so I do hope we see a bit more rock tunes added to the mix.

I mean Aja doing Alanis Morisette Ironic is flipping awesome! YouTube that shit.

Mayhem landing in the bottom this early on is probably exactly what she needed and a chance to see her perform was welcomed.

Eureka was fucking annoying as hell episode 2, Asia has the patience of a saint! I enjoyed Eureka during her stint on S09 but so far on 10 she's not doing anything to win me over and feels kind of out of place to me.

Monet was great during the Ep3 mini challenge, as an Irish girl I just loved her weird Irish thing that just came out of nowhere but when she did the "Erin go brea" singing I was in stitches, way to not just attempt some Paddy whackery SNL nonsense and just be funny and irreverent with it girl.

Also these fucking sponges turning up in every episode is getting ridiculous and I hope it never ends, I hope they don't even point them out they just keep using them like Monique during Untucked.

Poor Yuhua sashayed away Ep3 after a brutal challenge performance and too much air guitar. And by too much I mean any. I really liked her but I feel like she gets that the hard work starts after the show so I think we will get more from her.

Kalorie of course went Ep2, again a sweet queen but I don't think she was going to bring much more to this competition, the standard is so strong this year. She's a beautiful queen though.

I covered alot around Aquaria and The Vixen above but I will say that Aquaria has the potential to turn shit around for herself and I think she has the ability too. If she can accept her mistakes and learn from them she will do well, she's not afraid to act a fool in challenges and her runway is great.

I am afraid The Vixen might falter on challenges particularly when it boils down to acting or comedy in comparison to some of the others, I just get that vibe from her but she was funny in the Ep2 and 3 performances so hopefully I'm wrong because I really like her at the moment.

Dusty Ray Bottoms and Kameron Michaels are 2 I always forget until last. Which is weird because I don't dislike them, I thought both performed great on Ep2 and Dusty on Ep3. I adored Kamerons runway, someone on Reddit made a Final Fantasy VIII connection and I fucking loved it even more, I don't care if she never even heard of the game in terms of costume I lived for it.

Dusty's story of how he was treated when his parents found out he was gay was heart breaking. It's hard to imagine anyone getting treated like that just because of their sexuality, it would be amazing to see that situation get resolved for him but i think he's obviously done an incredible job of not letting it hamper his own life.

Unfortunately, Dusty on the runway Ep3 was a let down for me and i think she needs to win over the judges big time because should she land in the bottom, I don't think she'll stay.

Am i missing anyone? I don't think so.

Oh wait, I am. Alyssa Edwards was the choreographer on Ep2 and all I can say is the producers better find every opportunity they can to get her back, back, back again.

To finish up, despite some piss poor challenges this season really is all about the Queens. If you follow the show, make sure you get behind them on social media and all the rest. And leave all that bullshit racism and threats to the side, it's ugly and pathetic.

Looking forward to Ep4 which is the End of the World Ball. Love that they are getting another design challenge so soon!!

#drag race #rupaulsdragraceseason10 #rupaul #rupaul's drag race #the vixen #aquaria #mizcracker #monet x change #monique heart #drag #drag queen

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