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local-crater-group · 10 months

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--PRIVATE TRANSMISSION--

[Jaunty Fluttering of Two Sparks, Nine Materials, a Million Bells, Flightless Parallels of Balance, Accented Looking of One Imprisonment, Everything Alight in an Ideal World, Saccharine Sunset]

JET: Lately, Fang has been thinking.

JET: The, BVQT person has been, giving fang, some off feelings. Fang does not feel comfortable with ey.

JET: Fang feels like ey won't be able to help, anyhow. We are all in a crater, surrounded by the ocean. What could ey even do?

EAIW: In all honesty, I do agree with you.

EAIW: Eir entire proposed plan's been bothering me, just didn't say anything because, well it's the only solution right now

FPB: Yeah. Agreed.

ALOOM: I Never Liked It. Surely There Must be another Way.

JET: Agreed, and with fang hopefully doubling processing power, Fang will be able to come up with a solution quicker.

JET: Next time, EAIW, let us know please, if you get a feeling like that.

EAIW: i will. sorry

EAIW: just, almost anythings worth it if ALOOM gets to live, you see?

JET: Fang understands that, and fang is not upset, so do not worry. We all want what's best for ALOOM. We just, must be careful of others. So far interactions outside of our group hasn't been good.

EAIW: alright.

EAIW: yes.

EAIW: We don't have much of a data set to effectively judge that latter part though. I mean, we've only talked with BVQT and... didn't NMMB talk to someone at some point?

NMMB: I did! And they are quite nice! I'm hoping, others are friendly like him.

JET: Fang just worries for Fang's group.

FPB: Jet, I think we all worry. You probably the most out of all of us. I'm with you on the being careful of others part.

EAIW: ...Statistically speaking, it's really a 50/50 whether or not most others are like BVQT. Due to the limited sample size. well, we do have more examples, but...

EAIW: either way, id choose to gamble.

JET: Which way are you wanting to gamble.

JET: FPB, It's a senior's job to worry, and care for their group.

FPB: It is. As assistant senior though, it is also mine. Keep that in mind.

JET: That, doesn't make the worry any less for fang though.

EAIW: which way? the way of continuing to converse with others and allowing trust to form. even if it turns out one-sided.

FPB: I know. Just know that you're not alone, okay? You don't have to do everything.

JET: Fang, guesses.

EAIW: if anything, just to prove my current theory wrong.

EAIW: that being that everyone outside is terrible. because we do also have the example of SS' original local group. who are the aforementioned other examples. though they skew the 50/50 to a much more negative tilt.

SS: do not bring them up.

EAIW: I am not wrong.

ALOOM: Hey Cut it Out. Eaiw, You Know you aren't meant to bring Up fizzs Old Group.

EAIW: to be fair, they are also technically my old group as well

SS: ...

SS: youre the whole reason why they dont even like me! you didnt ever even have to talk to them!

EAIW: and was it ever my choice to be removed?

EAIW: thats right, no.

EAIW: im sorry that i brought them up, SS. but it was as a citation explaining backing up my theory. i do find that im perfectly justified.

ALOOM: Oh my Goodness, This Is Not the Time to Argue.

JET: EAIW, Drop it. We do not talk about that old group. That is still not a good reason to bring it up. If you do not drop it, I will temporarily mute you.

EAIW: gods, JET, i did drop it. i still find myself in the right!

SS: ...

SS: you do not have the right. to just.

EAIW: i do have the right.

EAIW: i get that you dont want to talk about them. no one is making you talk about them! im not starting anything, i was just providing proof for my theory!

[SS has disconnected]

EAIW: i did apologise.

[JFTS has temporarily muted EAIW]

JET: Fang really hates how these tend to get into arguments.

ALOOM: Yeah,

FPB: What I find works is to just ignore them sometimes. Often they work it out themselves.

FPB: Not this time, apparently.

FPB: Anyway, what was this conversation supposed to be about again?

JET: The situation with BVQT, and how we as a group, have made the decision to stop talking to em.

FPB: Oh right, yes. Thank you, Jet.

FPB: The question is though, do we tell Quiet about this decision. Even with a simple 'Not talking to you anymore, we don't trust you'.

FPB: Would be a good idea, in my opinion.

JET: We should, yes. Do you think you would be up to do it? I can ask EAIW and SS if they want to help too, if you wish.

JET: Unless you just want to.

FPB: I think it'd be for the best if I were the one to do it. Between Alight and myself (as Saccharine Sunset has never even talked to Quiet), I'm the one with more authority, and it'd make the decision seem... more official I guess?

FPB: Don't think I'd be able to stop Alight from jumping in and saying something though. If they're done sulking by then, that is!

JET: Completely understandable. Fang believes you will be able to get the message across.

JET: Thank you, Flightless Parallels of Balance.

FPB: Of course.

FPB: We'll... find a solution to this problem. Everything will be alright.

JET: Fang, hopes so too.

#lime: eaiw and ss sure do argue a lot #peak sibling behaviour i think pfff #echo: lmao bye klug #never talk to me again <3 #you over stepped all my boundries #so you dont grt to do things with me anymore #plus you said spme nasty things too #jet #eaiw #fpb #aloom #nmmb #ss #chatlogs

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auspicixus · 6 years

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DAY 18 (of the blog..?)

hoo boy i discovered some things today.

so i had to go to hospital to have my birth control changed. microgynon everyday (30mg) was just... not doing me any favours. my acne worsens, my mood severely fucking swings, and it doesnt alter my periods at all aside from the fact that i was offsetting my bleed for almost exactly a week for the whole 3 months, which meant i had BAAAAD cramps when i was "naturally" supposed to be on, and then regular cramps when i was meant on withdrawl.

in all, generally not nice. its almost like my body actively works to reject oestrogen.

i dismissed these symptoms (minus the non-relevent delayed period thing) when i was on these pills last year because i went through a very rough breakup the second week into the run. i got very depressed and never continued the pills, so i assumed my angst and depressive mood was unrelated to the pills.

upon speaking with the nurse i was given three options:

try some other pills

have an IUD

have the depo-provera injection

now, my problem with each of those was this:

i dont want to be jumping from pill to pill until i find one that works in the first three months

IUDs can be ouchie, i dont know how id handle the anesthetic (because i wouldnt be able to tell my parents and i have no way of getting home without my father knowing), also there was a 6-8 week waiting list on IUDs of any sort.

im a big squeamish baby and hate needles

i told the nurse i am trans and she said that short term (until i can begin HRT) having the injection, and long term having a Mirena coil (just before i start T, so i can stop the injection in a timely manner) is my best course of action.

ultimately, i agreed with her. id love a chance at 0 periods & no pregnancy! she explained that this injecion is usually done in the - er - backside, and asked if id ever had one there before. i said no and asked if i could have my partner in the room and lay down on the bed (since im not always good with injextions and can get woozy pretty easily).

really? honestly? why did i even bother asking!

okay, i retract that a little. laying down meant i could assure i didnt tense my arse weird from balance issues (she said most people had it while stood up!!) and cause complications.

my point is it didnt hurt. at all. you know how they always say "you'll just feel a scratch"? i literally only felt a scratch. i feel sorry for my partner, who had his hand gripped to hell while i anticipated it, all for me to only let go and respond with "oh." - it really was a "is that it???" situation.

no wonder T is often injected there!

i want to ease worries even further: i experienced no post-injection issues that werent caused by my dumb anxiety or the heat. i had the injection around 12 hours ago now, and i still feel fine.

what i went through was this:

nearly as soon as i stood up i had a little "spikey" in the back of my throat... which was an anxiety thing because as soon as i thought "this is anxiety" it went away.

i felt dizzy and sick... because i overworked my anxiety, i stood up too fast, i left the room too fast, and the temperature had rapidly risen from 19° to 26° (id also had the injection in a temperature controlled room, but the rest of the clinic, and the outside was about 5° and 10° temperature different respectively).

i was nauseous... because i got on a bus no less than 10 minutes after and sat upstairs, in the sun.

i had weak legs... because i sat on one of those slanted bus stop seats and was realistically too short for it (also because i was balancing on it weird because i didnt want to cause excessive trauma to the area by sitting on it so harshly).

what im saying is: seriously dont fret it. your anxiety (and the weather) will be your worst enemy if you have a rearside injection.

additionally, the site itself? i cant see it. i couldnt see it five minutes after, either. i couldnt even really feel it (by applying pressure) five minutes after. i didnt catch the size of the needle because of my anxiousness, but it really must have been small, or the site just healed fast because it was gone. bruising is a possibility, but i dont usually bruise that badly after arm injections/samples so i dont even think ill see any of that.

so id say, unless you plan to go around literally dragging your ass on concrete immediately after having the injection, you will be fine. i didnt even have a plaster on it. thats how you know im a big boy.

i almost cant wait to be on T, so i can brag about how it doesnt hurt like i thought. im no longer afraid.

#update: partner told me the needle was 'quite short and a little bit thin' but otherwise normal #guess it just really IS a good place for injections #queer diary today i...#transition diary #transmasc #tw birth control #tw sharps #tw needles #tw injections #tw period #tw pills #tw IUD #tw uterine coil #tw bc coil #tw copper coil #tw mirena #tw hormones #tw hospital

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