#i feel kinda stuck and i wish i could be happier with my career choices and life

[ricoka]

Really wishing I could do art full time again. I lack the skills ofc, but I wish I had more time to try out stuff and to learn and improve and use different mediums. Sometimes I wish I could at least afford to reduce my hours but that doesn't seem feasible in the current economy either.

#sometimes i consider quitting my job to focus on what i want to do for a bit #but I know that I'd just get stressed looking for a new job #because i spend my life either stressed by having a job or in pursuit of one #there's this one thing we have called Bildungskarenz that a lot of people do to finish their masters degree #or for other ways to change their career #you get a stipend but you have to earn ects points to my knowledge #and it's only one year max so starting at University won't help #and I don't know what else to use it for #i feel kinda stuck and i wish i could be happier with my career choices and life

[three-eyedraven]

I want you to do all the numbers. I only reply so quickly because I get notifications when you post because I love you so much ❤❤ And I want to learn more about you

0: Height

5′2″

1: Virgin?

yes

2: Shoe size

anywhere from 7-8

3: Do you smoke?

no

4: Do you drink?

no

5: Do you take drugs?

I take CBD oil for my anxiety from time to time.  I need to get better about taking it more regularly but I forget. (I don’t really consider it much of a drug really since there is no THC in it but it was recently classified as one so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

6: Age you get mistaken for

idk.  a lot of the time like 18-20 but sometimes younger cuz im short and v quiet/my voice pitch goes up due to my social anxiety which i guess seems childish

7: Have tattoos?

not yet

8: Want any tattoos?

yep!

9: Got any piercings?

yep

10: Want any piercings?

don’t think there are anymore that I want so nah

11: Best friend?

Honestly, my girlfriend ( @lizzywaffles ).  Also Rachel, Courtney, Mimi, Jordan, and Grace even though I don’t get to talk to her or see her a lot anymore. 

12: Relationship status

In one ♡

13: Biggest turn ons

Idk probably light back scratching/rubbing, butt touching, lip biting, getting my hair played w, and idk that’s all I can think of rn.  Just kissing is chill too.

14: Biggest turn offs

Rude, bigoted, not understanding or patient w me bc I take a lot of work, dishonest, loud, impulsive (like in a bad way [if that makes sense]), disloyal, and basically just basic things that most people don’t like.

15: Favorite movie

(in no order) Dope, Ponyo, Belle, Across the Universe, Lilo and Stitch, and I think that’s it

16: I’ll love you if

Are honest w me and respect me. Patient w me and kind to me.  Funny and intelligent.  Mostly if you are understanding and tbh I like clingy or don’t be super distant (unless you need it that’s okay) bc it’s always good to know you’re loved.

17: Someone you miss

My aunt, some of my friends cuz I haven’t seen a lot of people over break that I would’ve liked too which is bc I am trash and never initiate things.  Also my girlfriend cuz I’m clingy yikes srry (but not really).

18: Most traumatic experience

Would rather not

19: A fact about your personality

I am v quiet. Like I just don’t really like to talk a lot plus I am v shy and suck at holding conversations so if I am ever really awkward and quiet around you or don’t reply it’s mostly bc Idk what to say so please do not take it personally, I’m v sorry.

20: What I hate most about myself

*queue Jean-Ralphio voice* everythiiinnnggg

But if I had to choose one thing personality wise it’d be my anxiety and physically my skin or maybe my weight

21: What I love most about myself

I like how artistic/creative I am

22: What I want to be when I get older

Makeup artist

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

It’s good, I guess

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

I love my mom a lot even though we fight sometimes and my dad I’m kinda neutral on tbh like I’m just v uncomfy around him and usually just get annoyed so meh.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Probably eat some good food whether we make it or go somewhere, then just chill out and maybe watch something, and then cuddle.  Also I just like drives or walks especially at pretty places.  Idk I am p simple tbh and I just love being around my s/o so really anything that doesn’t give me anxiety is gr8.

26: My biggest pet peeves

Chewing loudly, interrupting, and that’s all I can think of tbh.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

She is the most wonderful person ever and I adore her w every fiber of my being.  She treats me v well and we always have a great time together.  She makes me feel comfy and at home which is something that I never feel honestly so it is really nice.  On the outside she is super swaggy but she is actually a huge dork once you get to know her and it is amazing.  She also is really talented and she’s in a band called Generation Nomad so you should check em out on Spotify or whatever your preferred music streaming thingy is.  Basically to sum it up she is the most incredible human to ever exist and I lover her so much.  (sorry if this is too sappy but also im not bc i just love my girl so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Idk if there is someone I dislike the most honestly.  I hate when people are rude, bigoted, and basically most of the things that were included in my “turn offs”.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

idk cuz I didn’t want to do something

30: What I hate the most about work/school

It is v time consuming and, if you are a baby like me, they cause a lot of anxiety.  Also it just seems like people get stuck in it and can’t really enjoy life which sucks and is my fear.

31: What your last text message says

One is long and salty so Imma just do the second to last one which says “holy shit”

32: What words upset me the most

Slurs and that’s all I can think of rn tbh

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

Honestly just any nice words.  Validation is always gr8

34: What I find attractive in women

I guess probably their sensitivity and I am just more comfortable around women. Also they’re just so pretty.

35: What I find attractive in men

Idk I guess their strength (I can’t really think of anything else so that’s what comes to mind).  Guys are great tho but I just can’t think of specifics.

36: Where I would like to live

I’d either stay in CO or I’d like to live somewhere in the upper west coast.  A different country would be cool but very hard.

37: One of my insecurities

I am v quiet and anxious so I worry that it comes off as me being a bitch.  Also my anxiety keeps me from doing a lot of Cool Teen™ things so people probably think that I am really lame.

38: My childhood career choice

I wanted to be a singer and before that a hair stylist like my mom.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Chocolate, cookies n cream, or strawberry i guess.

40: Who wish I could be

idk tbh.  I just wish I was a better, cooler, happier, prettier version of myself.

41: Where I want to be right now

Somewhere warm and maybe rainy.  A beach would be nice for a bit.  Or just w my girlfriend (cheesy i know).  Also hangin w some good friends on the road or just somewhere new or something would be nice.

42: The last thing I ate

A cookie

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

My gf

44: A random fact about anything

Crocodiles have the strongest bite of any animal.

Thank you so much for the ask!!  I love you too  ♡

#ask #anon #Anonymous #sorry if any of this sounds stupid i am too tired to proof read #also i am stupid so #also sorry if anyone is offended by anything for some reason??