#i forgot how much of a mouthful her story name is but i ain't changing it--it's catchy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shortpplfedup · 1 year

Text

Of course I have fallen down an ITSAY/IPYTM rewatch rabbit hole the moment I have things to do. Instead of spamming @bengiyo lemme liveblog...

On Viki the new subs are chef's kiss. Grammar, tone, readability, idiom usage, much improved. I also FINALLY know what MoRaoYuLok means!

Man the fight they have at the temple after this middle school play is the EXACT same fight they have in the bathtub in IPYTM. Like the dialogue is almost word for word. I love that the same fight bookends the beginning and end of the acting dream for Oh Aew. HOW IS THIS SHOW STILL GIVING ME NEW TEAS YEARS LATER?

'I think someone like you will quit eventually' - cut to him quitting in IPYTM and them having this exact same fight. And people say Teh changed...HE NEVER DID.

If I could ask Boss one question I would ask him when Teh's dad died. Like...it haunts me. I feel like so much of Teh is explained by his dad's death. Like, does he die before or after the middle school play? Was it illness or incident? It's the last key to completely unlocking the character and I WANT IT.

I have so much more of an ear for Thai now than I did when I first watched this, and the difference in that plus the difference in the subs is making this a whole new experience.

I also now know what 'Saleng' means thanks to the subs. MLC's Leng's parents really named him after a sidecar motorcycle? Jail.

Man now that I know a smattering of Thai, Teh and Tarn were really basically dating. Like she had expectations, he'd made promises. He really just abandoned her to run after this boy he swore up and down he hated.

I always forget Oh Aew had 90 thousand Instagram followers. And he wasn't even showing feet. You know his DMs were wet. Oh Aew's influencer status needed to be explored more.

They actually translated some of these thirsty Instagram comments 🤣 'I want to be the red bean up there' referring to the red beans topping the oh aew dessert. HORNY JAIL FOR OH AEW'S INSTA FOLLOWERS.

Teh literally got under the covers and stared at this man's picture for WHO KNOWS HOW LONG.

WHY DID I START THIS?!

Hoon really treats Teh like an annoying little brother.

Teh and this pomade 🤣 THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE AND ELABORATE.

This teacher really decided to roast Teh in front of everybody🤣

Teh really sitting here at this cafe dragging down the mood with his heavy vibes.

Man I forgot how petty Oh Aew could be 🤣 'Oh Bas you're so smart, so much smarter than dumbass Teh *bats eyelashes*

The friends really went through it with these two. You know how hard it is to maintain a friend group that includes two people who are in love/have beef? Yes I put those two things together. Kai n'em fighting for their lives this whole show.

Not Bas the New Friend putting his foot right in his mouth talking reckless about this Chinese play and the whole group bracing for impact. Nobody warned him these two are in love/have beef?

Oh Aew embarrassed as shit now, plan totally rumbled, not that Teh's dumbass even understood why he wanted to do a CHINESE PLAY WITH PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT SCHOOLS.

'Didn't anybody tell you?' WHY Y'ALL AIN'T TOLD HIM INSTEAD OF LETTING HIM GO POPPING OFF AT THE MOUTH?

Man I had forgotten how subtle yet totally clear the acting in this was from jump. Billkin and PP's eyes, their face journeys, the small microexpressions, the body English...you know exactly what they're thinking at all times.

Teh: 'Oh? A Chinese play?' Mod n'em's facial expressions: 'Oh shit here we fucking go.' Bas's face: 'What just happened? Why'd the temperature drop 20 degrees?'

Oh Aew said leap if you're feeling froggy and they were really about to scrap over a 3-year old petty beef. Who says men aren't emotional?

Teh was out of order making fun of Oh Aew's grades and he knew it immediately too. Forever popping off at the mouth and instantly regretting it, from the beginning.

Bas looks so distressed that he caused this whole altercation. I'd actually really love to know Bas's perspective on this story, because from where he's sitting the whole thing is WILD.

It's really striking me on this rewatch how protective the friends are of Oh Aew, not just Bas but Phillip n'em as well. He always engenders such loyalty, whereas Teh is harder to love hence why he doesn't have other friends except their mutuals.

Oh Aew called Teh an asshole with his whole chest, love that for him. Teh was absolutely being an asshole.

Kai really like 'how y'all still beefing off some middle school shit and we about to be in COLLEGE? Let it go!' And you really get the feeling Oh Aew really did want to try to squash it until Teh came at him all RAH.

I never really got a sense of the dynamic between Oh Aew and his parents. It's clearly loving and supportive, but it doesn't seem terribly affectionate and it's maybe a little distant? Idk how much of my reading of it is due to it not really being foregrounded as compared to Teh's familial dynamic. But Teh is main character and Oh Aew is the love interest so Teh does get a deeper dive.

You forget all the time that Teh is totally the spoiled baby brat of his family.

In this scene where they're waiting for the admission results, you can see Oh Aew's stress level shoot up in real time when he realises Teh has entered the room. Teh has put in his head that he's not gonna make it, and he doesn't want Teh to see him fail (and probably gloat about it he's thinking). And then Teh FOLLOWS him...no wonder he runs away like Teh's the devil. Teh's literally number 1 on the admissions list and Oh Aew didn't make it. And he thinks there's no way he can make it through the admissions system so the dream's dead. With the hindsight of realising that everything Oh Aew did since their fight was a combination of wanting to prove to Teh he was wrong about him plus hoping that they could repair their broken relationship and be close again...ARGH this show will forever put me in my feels.

Oh Aew always looks so small sitting on that beach alone in this scene. It's been said a million times, but the filmmaking in this show absolutely slaps. That tracking shot following Oh Aew getting his bags from Teh and then walking away as Teh follows? So good...

You really feel the weight of Teh's apology here, how he first apologises for the immediate offence and then realises no, that's not all he feels guilty about. The apology is such an unburdening for him and you can feel the weight lift off him when Oh Aew accepts it. Also, Oh Aew's surprise and immediate surge of emotion at each stage of Teh's apology...ugh these boys acted DOWN, so detailed, so effective!

This show is built around Teh and Oh's conversations, they're so important to me for how raw and vulnerable they always are. Part of the reason things fall apart for them in I Promised You the Moon is that they stop talking to each other like this, because they're trying to be brave, or to be grown up, or to be considerate, or to hide how not fine they are.

For Oh Aew to say 'I forgive you but bitch I DESPISED you, I don't know if we can ever come back from that' was such a moment. Teh being forced to sit with the possibility that what he broke with his pride and selfishness might not ever be fixable, and deciding to try ANYWAY...see this is why despite him being the worst he's also the best.

No but Teh really went from calling that sidecar 'hideous' and 'embarrassing' to taking it everywhere because it could carry Oh Aew, and all the things he wanted to give Oh Aew. But this fool really packed up every school book he owned in a suitcase he stole from his brother and left his house at the crack of dawn to give them to Oh Aew. Down HORRENDOUS.

Oh Aew's smile before he answers Teh's ke yi ma always gets me.

Guess I'm back on my ITSAY/IPYTM bullshit

#i told sunset about you #itsay #itsay 1 #live rewatch #liveblog #translate my love with your heart

86 notes · View notes

ladykatakuri · 3 years

Text

She is his Treasure part 2

Crosshair x F Reader

Warnings: None it is just fluffy and very minor injuries

Part 2 of 3? ( do not know yet haha )

Brief Summary: With his rifle neatly packed on his back and his vibroblades strapped to his sides, he stalked through the hallways of the medical ward.

Notes: I was intending this story to be a 2 parter and this should have bene the finale, but as it can happen.... Crosshair and the others just did not want to tell the story just like that! There is still a little more to tell so for the time being i will say it is going ot be a 3 parter now >.<

I hope you like it and if there is anything you wish to say about this: Please do, any kind of comment is a comment and if it helps out the story it is even more welcome.

Oh and spelling mistakes etc? Please let me know, Engslish is not my native language and i can use the advice on it or the corections on it if you catch them :D

No doubt that it would be a trap, Crosshair was by no means a fool and he knew his brothers well enough. Omega was the only one he had not yet figured out. The Kaminoans were not too forthcoming about the girl and her origins afterall, so he had to make an educated guess about what she could and would do. With his rifle neatly packed on his back and his vibroblades strapped to his sides, he stalked through the hallways of the medical ward.

Sure, he could ask all personnel there, and they would answer honestly out of fear of repercussions, but he could not take the risk of letting people know exactly what he was after, or what his true intentions were. “ Where is she? Kriff, where did they put her?” Glancing around, chewing yet another toothpick, he noticed one of the nurses trying to move away from his sight.

“You! Stop right there.” His voice left nothing to the imagination of the now frightened nurse. Twiddling her fingers she stopped in her tracks and looked at the man approaching her.

“Can…. Can I help you sir?” Eyes nervously glancing at him and then to the wall behind him, the nurse slightly shuffles with her feet on the floor.

“Y/N, where is her room? “ He looks at her while she nervously glances to the end of the hall and back at him when he smirks. “That way eh? Good girl.” Turning his back to her, he stalks away to where she looked.

As he moves away from her, the nurse carefully puts her hand in her breast pocket and reaches for a comm. “He is on his way doctor.” Making sure that the commander did not look back at her, she quickly makes her way out of the halls and into safety.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While walking through the hallway and looking into several of the rooms, Crosshair also keeps his senses on high alert. His brothers are close, they would never leave her just like that and he would not be caught by surprise. Whatever they had planned, Crosshair has his own plans. Suddenly his comm sounds as one of his men calls in.

“Commander, we are in one of the smaller cities in the west. Peasants say there are some clones hiding in the forest about 3 clicks away.”

Crosshair stops to stare at his comm for a second and then decides to answer. “Then go and hunt them down.” He ends the transmission and moves to the last room in the hallway. “ So, this is the room. They will all be around somewhere.” Moving his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, he steps into the doorway and freezes.

There in the only bed in the room he finally sees you. Deep asleep and covered by a blanket you seem to be sleeping so peacefully. For just a second all he can do is stare at your figure and drink it in. “I forgot - how sweet her face is.” Quickly shaking his head, as to shake off his thoughts and impulse to step forward and touch you, he stares at the man with his back towards him.

Tech is fidgeting with the monitor when he senses a new presence in the room. “Tech…” When he hears his lost brother say his name, Tech turns around to face Crosshair.

“Crosshair. It seems you arrived ahead of time. I suppose you will not let me…...¨ He is stopped in his sentence when Crosshair draws his vibroblade and moves towards him. For a moment shock flashes in Techs eyes when he realises what Crosshair is up to. He is making a move to throw the blade at Tech before even reaching him.

It is then that all hell breaks loose and things are changed, well some things are changed while others return as to how it was meant to be.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pain and flashes, those are the two things that accompany Crosshair when he wakes up. The first thing he notices though is how his arms are bound to a bed and there is a strap around his waist holding him in place. There is no way for him to move, except for his head, so he turns to his side and sees one of his brothers sitting next to his bed. “Echo, what?”

Echo looks up when he hears his name and sees Crosshair's confused stare. “You finally woke up. I will call the others, Omega was very nervous and will be happy to hear you woke up.” He quickly stands up and walks out of the room, leaving behind a still confused Crosshair.

Before Hunter manages to walk into the room, he is passed by a flash of blonde hair and white clothes. Omega runs up to the bed and intensely stares at Crosshair. “Is it you? Are you back with us again?”

Suddenly he remembers and his eyes go wide in shock. “What have I done? Where is Y/N?” Trying to get up he forces all of his strength into his body to break the straps tying him to the bed.

Omega, noticing the struggle, quickly releases him and helps him sit up. Placing a hand on his back she smiles at him. “Y/N is alright. It is not your fault Crosshair. Remember, I told you before?” Turning around at the other Batchers who have entered the room, she grins. “He will be fine! I will go check on Y/N and tell her the good news!” Without waiting for an answer, she quickly runs out of the room and leaves the men behind to catch up, before a much needed reunion can take place.

“What did you do to me?” Rubbing the side of his head, Crosshair feels a bandage where the headache originates from and looks at his brothers. “Well? How did you get me down and the chip out?” It is only then that he notices the bandage on Tech`s arm and the black eye on Wrecker. “Heh, guess I did not go down easy.”

It is Echo who steps forward to explain to Crosshair how they had planned his arrival and capture and the removal of his inhibitor chip.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“So you want me to stay in some room and wait for him to make trouble?” Confused by this part of the plan, Wrecker blurts out the one question that has been on his mind when they began planning the capture and rescue of Crosshair. He was always in the front when there was a chance of combat taking place and he sure as hell would not stay behind for this fight. “This is Crosshair ya know?! He ain't going down easy. Hah! You`ll have to drag him with you if you catch him and that is where you need me!” Showing his strong and massive arms, Wrecker laughs while he pats Tech on the back.

“It is true that his reflexes are faster than mine, or at least they were up until we were separated on Kamino. I do however think this plan has merit and we should rely on the keen insight that Omega has displayed when it comes to Crosshair.” Tech gently shifts his goggles while he presses a button here and there on his padd. Looking up at his bigger brother, he considers patting him on the arm but stops himself from doing so. Wrecker might be sensitive at times, he understands well enough how this is the best course of action for the time being. Instead, he turns his attention to their leader and waits for the rest of the group to acknowledge their respective roles and move forward.

“Omega, i want you to promise me, if it seems to become dicey, you will not leap into the fray but instead, you will make your way out of the ward and back to the ship. Close it off and stay there until we come for you.” Hunter stares at the young girl, knowing full well that she would do anything she can to make sure you and Crosshair get the reunion you deserve. She always had a soft spot for the sniper, from the moment she met him at Kamino until the moment she first realised that the chip started to act up. Omega nods and looks at Hunter with a wide grin. No matter what, she would make this plan succeed.

“Omega, I will guide you to the right vent from here. Once you are in place I will be in the room right next to Y/N`s.” Echo places his hand on her shoulder and squeezes, just to let her know that he also wants this to go as planned. You were always there for him when he would struggle with his past and all the nightmares that still haunt him at night. Now he can finally repay all that kindness and he will not let this opportunity pass without giving it his best.

“We all know where to be and what to do, so let's go and make it happen.” Hunter looks at his family one more time and gives the order to move out.

They each go to their respective posts and wait for the main guest to arrive. It does not take very long for Crosshair to show up in the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When he moved towards Tech, he knew that despite the looks, his brother was a lot faster than people gave him credit for. So he quickly threw the first blade in his hand and reached for the other strapped to his leg. Tech, realising what his plan was already made a move and managed to dodge the blade, but the other which was quickly thrown after it did hit it`s target.

Grabbing his arm where the blade entered, Tech hisses as blood drips on the floor. His attention fully focussed on the man in front of him he steps aside and aims his blaster. “Don`t….” One word with enough urgency and a quick glance at the figure lying still in the bed.

Crosshair does not let it distract him from his goal and moves forward. His eyes dart around the room when suddenly he hears footsteps right behind him just before two solid arms take hold of him. “Got`cha Crosshair!” Wrecker's voice booms through the room as he presses his brother's arms against his sides and lifts him up. “Surprise!”

Crosshair is surprised by the large man holding him tight. Unable to even move his arms now he throws his head back and feels it connect with his brother's face. “Oww Crosshair!” For a moment Wrecker is surprised and stumbles a little. “That hurt!”

A small grin forms on Crosshair's face as he replies to his brother. “I'm surprised you managed to sneak up on me Wrecker. Guess Hunter has taught you a few tricks, ey?”

Hunter and Echo both enter the room and move towards Crosshair. Hunter puts handcuffs on him as Echo tends to Tech`s arm, a panel in the ceiling opens up and reveals Omega dropping down into the room. Before being able to speak up, Crosshair feels something sting in his neck and passes out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“After I sedated you, we brought you to the doctor and he removed your chip. As soon as you were stable, Omega went back to Y/N until you just woke up and here we are.” Echo looks at the man sitting up, rubbing his head. Finally they were able to save their brother. Finally they could end this painful game of hide and seek and move forward. There had already been so much pain and suffering among his brethren, they needed something good to happen once in a while. This was the best outcome. Though he knew there was still a squad to take care of out there.

Hunter, who appeared to have read his mind nodded at him. “Wrecker, you and Echo come with me. We still have some business to take care of on the planet. Tech, when he is ready, you take Crosshair to Omega and Y/N and keep watch.” Patting his brother's shoulder, Hunter moves out of the room. “Good to have you back Crosshair.”

“Hah! Now I can show you who the better clanker buster is!” Grinning, Wrecker follows both Hunter and Echo out of the room, leaving Crosshair and Tech behind.

“Take me to Y/N, Tech.” Crosshair stands up and moves to the door. “I need to see her, now….” Tech nods and leads him to your room.

@loth-wolffe

#crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair x y/n #The Bad Batch #Bad Batch #Just my own story i have to tell #Like it or leave it teehee

17 notes · View notes

whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

7 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Fraze & Bea

Fraze: Where are you? Bea: getting some last minute supplies Bea: why? Fraze: Come back Bea: what's wrong Fraze: Joe is Fraze: So Ali reckons Fraze: I need to go Bea: let me catch up Bea: what's wrong with Joe, and where is he that you need to go Fraze: He's fucked off back Bea: yeah Bea: he didn't want to come back anyway so Bea: what's the drama Fraze: Do you wanna fucking do this while you're shopping? Bea: I'm just trying to work out what's actually going on right now Bea: what did Ali say Fraze: She said that he asked her for a drugs hook up so she sent him to some school kid who ain't got what he needed Bea: oh yeah Bea: so that's out of character Bea: and strange that he would ask Ali so I get why she's freaking but why are you then Fraze: 'Cause the kid reckons he wanted heroin and when that was off the table he bought 50 benzos & cleared the dealer out Fraze: I ain't freaking out Fraze: I'll sort it, told her and now I'm telling you Bea: what the fuck Bea: seriously Fraze: It's bullshit, it has to be Fraze: But she wouldn't let me talk to the dealer kid so I'm gonna have to talk to Joe Bea: of course it is Bea: it's ridiculous Bea: are you sure Bea: I can talk to the kid Bea: I'm more tactful than you Fraze: I'm not sending you to flirt with some underage dealer Fraze: Fuck off Bea: who said anything about flirting Bea: not trying to pick up, Jesus Fraze: What are you gonna do then offer to help him with his homework legit? Fraze: Come on Bea: You really think I'll need to resort to bribery Fraze: I ain't thinking about what you need, babe Fraze: No offense Bea: Don't be stupid Bea: I just don't think coming at Joe all guns blazing is the best idea Fraze: And I don't reckon Ali will be consider it sorted if I send him a quick text Fraze: She thought he was gonna do himself in Fraze: I should fucking kill him for scaring her like that Bea: that's shitty but like you said Bea: it's bullshit Bea: this doesn't need to be amped up further than it clearly already has, like Fraze: Granted dropping some pills at a family BBQ don't make her no expert but she's not stupid Fraze: And she wouldn't come to me for fuck all Fraze: So there's something Fraze: Whatever the fuck it is, I can't just leave it Bea: I'm not saying she is, or there isn't but Bea: I'll be there soon Bea: I can go see him Fraze: I said no Fraze: It should be me Bea: it's going to be weird Bea: you barely speak and you're just gonna show up Bea: I know he's your brother but come on Fraze: Don't Bea: No, if you can't handle even talking about it how are you gonna do it Fraze: You gonna try and tell me what I can handle now, yeah? Bea: I'm not telling you anything for my own sake here Fraze: Mine or his then? Bea: Both Bea: but mainly yours Bea: what, you think if I visited and he was living in a crack den I'd keep it to myself? Fraze: Nah, what I'm thinking is I don't need you to fight my battles for me Fraze: There's nothing I can't do, alright Fraze: End of story Bea: It's not a battle and you're being childish Fraze: Of course it is Fraze: What isn't Fraze: Everything's a fucking fight in this fucking family Bea: and all I'm saying is assess the situation before making it one Bea: what are we actually going on here Bea: the words of a child drug dealer who probably fancies your sister Bea: what other proof do we have Fraze: Ali Fraze: She saw him before he left and she spoke to him after Fraze: She don't spook easy Bea: He did look a bit rough Bea: but I just thought he'd been going hard with everything Bea: it's an adjustment Bea: maybe there is more but it can't be Bea: that Fraze: Yeah Bea: when are you going then? Fraze: Not til I've seen you Bea: I'm on my way back now Fraze: Good Bea: are you sure about this? Fraze: Are you saying I shouldn't Bea: I don't know Bea: I've got no idea what you're meant to do or should do Bea: if it's real and true Bea: and if it ain't that's a whole other mess Fraze: All I know is that I can't tell my fucking parents Fraze: Fucked if I've got a clue about anything else Bea: definitely not Bea: fucking hell Fraze: Come with me Fraze: No eyebrows are getting raised if we fly off together Bea: True Bea: Maybe I could stay Bea: I'm basically ready Fraze: Are you? Bea: well Bea: doubt halls are but Bea: only so many books I can buy Bea: I don't know Bea: just an idea Fraze: Then don't stay in halls Fraze: That's an idea Bea: they're not the usual Bea: I told you, they look amazing Fraze: I'm sure they do, babe Fraze: But if you stay with him until they are ready, wouldn't that solve like half our problems Bea: I literally offered to go see him and you said no, like five minutes ago Fraze: Will you do it or not? Bea: do you want me to? Fraze: It ain't about what I want Bea: sounds like you're keen so Bea: sure Bea: why not Fraze: 'Cause I could be sending you into a drug den Bea: well obviously that'd change things Bea: everything Fraze: No shit Bea: 🙄 Fraze: It ain't your turn to be childish Fraze: What do you want? Bea: What do you want me to say? Bea: Like I said, I don't know Fraze: Yeah you do Fraze: Cut the bullshit, you just don't wanna tell me what you've decided Fraze: But I'm a big boy now, I can take it Bea: that ain't true Bea: I don't know, actually Bea: not like I'm jumping at the chance to spend loads of 1x1 time with him either Fraze: Then don't Fraze: It's off the table Fraze: Forget about it Bea: You don't get to decide for me Bea: I'm allowed to think about it before committing, Christ Fraze: Don't start for fuck's sake Bea: What Bea: I ain't said fuck all Fraze: You know what Fraze: You've made it clear enough that I ain't got no say in what you do Fraze: Anymore Bea: We can't keep going over this Bea: that's how it's meant to be Bea: we can't make decisions like that based on each other Fraze: You can't Fraze: Name one decision I've made since we were kids that ain't got you in the fucking centre of it Bea: that ain't fair Fraze: I know Fraze: But what's fair got to do with any of this Bea: I have to go to Cambridge and you have to go here Bea: that's just what it is Fraze: I'm not stopping you Fraze: I only asked you what you want Fraze: There's my answer, yeah? Bea: you can't keep making me feel bad about it Bea: like it isn't what's best for both of us Fraze: You can't just not feel bad about it Bea: I don't Bea: I know it's the right decision Bea: but if you could not call me a selfish bitch about it that might be nice Fraze: Those words have never come out of my mouth Fraze: If you hear 'em it's 'cause you're thinking 'em yourself, babe Bea: Nah Bea: but nice try, like Fraze: At least one of us is Bea: Fuck off Bea: I'm coming right now, aren't I Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: Did that even sound like enough when you typed it Bea: I'm not doing this right now Fraze: When then, graduation? Bea: What is there to discuss Bea: that we haven't already Fraze: So your solution is stop talking about it and just fucking do it Fraze: Alright Fraze: Fucking do it Bea: I am Bea: doesn't mean I have to go right now 'cos you're ready to be rid Fraze: What are you waiting for Bea: I told you, my halls for one Bea: Jesus, I'll sleep on the sofa if you're that bothered Bea: don't worry Fraze: Do what you want, you will anyway Bea: yeah, I will Bea: don't know why this is news Fraze: It ain't Fraze: Don't you worry Bea: Great Bea: See you in 5 Fraze: Yeah Bea: I don't want to leave like this Bea: alright Fraze: Then don't Fraze: I don't want you to Bea: let's just enjoy the time we've got left yeah Fraze: Alright Fraze: But what are we gonna do about Joe? Bea: We can still go but I think it'd be better if we were more careful with it Bea: if there is a problem, we'll find out and we'll do something about it Bea: can't literally strong-arm him into rehab Bea: I promise I'll go see him Fraze: I could, I could fucking break his arm but Fraze: I won't Bea: You know it makes sense Bea: Ali will be fine Bea: yeah Fraze: You want me to shower you with compliments now, yeah? Fraze: Like it ain't enough that Cambs knows how smart you are Fraze: Alright, Red. You've got me Bea: Would it be so bad? Fraze: Probably end up feeling good Fraze: But you already know that Bea: You too Bea: so stop fighting it Fraze: I told you, everything's a fight Fraze: So make me Bea: Easy Fraze: We'll see in 5 Bea: like you've forgot Fraze: You're the one who's ready to go Fraze: Maybe you have Bea: I haven't Fraze: Swear to me Fraze: That you won't Bea: Why would I Bea: HOW would I Fraze: To make it easier Fraze: And 'cause you can do anything like Bea: I can Bea: but I don't want to Bea: I said, I wanna enjoy however long we have left, right Fraze: And I said, me too Bea: then let's do it Fraze: Only waiting on you Fraze: Longest 5 fucking minutes Bea: don't blame me I took the bus in Fraze: If you want me to brawl the driver I can do that, but you'll already be off by then Fraze: So I'd much rather blame you for not letting me drive you Fraze: Less blood, only slightly less danger Bea: gotta get used to not having a car for a while, don't I Bea: and you know what I want, idiot Fraze: That's the hardship of this, yeah? Miss me as your fucking chauffeur Fraze: Cheers, babe Bea: You're welcome Bea: even uber ain't this efficient Fraze: Put it on my CV, shall I? Bea: No Bea: private driver only, thanks Fraze: You're such a princess Bea: I am not Fraze: Shame Bea: Really Fraze: I was gonna carry you in but gotta wait for you to walk now Bea: Such a romantic, you Fraze: You ain't forgotten Bea: didn't say I had Fraze: Like I said, don't Bea: Don't you Fraze: I ain't Fraze: Can't and won't like Bea: Better not Fraze: Be better if I did Fraze: But nah Bea: fuck off Bea: don't say that to me Fraze: Why, so you can be the only one who says what's best for me? Fraze: Fuck that Bea: No Bea: think what you like, do what you like Bea: but I don't need to hear it Fraze: You can't tell me to do what I like and then tell me what I can and can't say Fraze: It don't work like that Bea: say what you like and all Bea: I don't have to listen Fraze: 'Course not Bea: fuck's sake Fraze: What? Bea: just don't talk to me when I get back okay Fraze: If you want Bea: what's it matter what I want yeah Fraze: Yeah, I've wasted a shit ton of my breath asking what you want 'cause I don't give a fuck Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Apparently Bea: 'cos you clearly don't care when I tell you to stop Fraze: Bullshit Bea: no not bullshit Bea: I told you, I don't wanna think about that shit Fraze: You think I want to Bea: I don't know, you brought it up Fraze: If you can't think about it, how are you gonna do it, yeah? Bea: Hilarious Fraze: Nah Bea: who's home right now Fraze: Me Bea: no one else? Fraze: Unless your sister's hiding under the bed how she used to Bea: Possible Bea: but she can stay there if she is Fraze: The dog's here if you really don't want my company, like Bea: I'm just not in the mood to be nice right now Fraze: I wouldn't still be here if that was a requirement Bea: Suppose not Bea: [comes in, puts shopping down and goes kitchen] Fraze: [casually leaning on the doorway lurking in silence, boy that's creepy don't] Bea: [getting a drink, probably alcoholic, deffo makes her jump but is trying style it out silently by being like what?] Fraze: [does the thing where he can reach over her to get one too because taller with longer arms & also rude like bitch she's probably in the middle of pouring that & also you've blatantly been on it since you spoke to Ali so probably don't] Bea: [turns around to look up at him 'cos wants to and close proximity but then has to walk away] Fraze: [follows her slowly like that doesn't count as following and isn't as obvious, okay boy. So just then standing closer than he needs to be] Bea: [turning back like 'what are you doing?'] Fraze: [shrugs which is not an acceptable answer excuse you] Bea: [rolls her eyes like fine then if that's how it is and goes to their room] Fraze: [comes in and makes a big show of looking for his lighter & cigarettes and all that bullshit but nobody believes he doesn't know where it all is] Bea: [just watching him like what the fuck boy, drinking and judging] Fraze: ['Don't look at me like that'] Bea: ['I can look however I want'] Fraze: [Gives her a look because live & die via intense eye contact] Bea: [casual staring contest going down lmao] Fraze: [literally downs his drink without breaking it because not gonna be the one] Bea: [has such a mad little face on] Fraze: [the state of him I dread to think cos what a fucking day, like its only pride keeping him from being a mess rn] Bea: [shakes her head and looks away, finally] Fraze: [goes to smoke because yeah that'll help of course & more importantly because can't handle that the stand off has been broken like that] Bea: did you think he seemed Bea: different Fraze: From what Bea: from before he left for uni Fraze: I don't fucking know Fraze: What kind of question is that Bea: a genuine one Bea: no need to bite my head off Fraze: Do you want me to say he was a junkie in waiting before he left or what, like? Bea: I'm just trying to work out how the fuck it'd be possible for an entire family to miss something that big Fraze: You reckon I ain't asked myself that every which way Fraze: Jesus Bea: I know Bea: someone's got to talk about it Bea: even if it's just us right now Fraze: We outgrew the buddy system, what can I say? Bea: It isn't your fault Bea: I'm not saying that Bea: just Bea: fuck Fraze: You're saying we waved him off as a dead man walking though, yeah? If this is true that's what we all fucking did Bea: stop putting words in my mouth Bea: who hasn't got their issues Bea: doesn't mean you have to foresee this level of trouble 'cos of it Bea: I was just trying to think if he did seem different, because he didn't walk in and we were all jumping ten foot back, like Fraze: Ali said he looked sick Fraze: If the rest of us missed it, that's 'cause we wanted to Bea: Why would we want that? Fraze: Why do we all pretend your sister is a really fussy eater? Fraze: Come on Bea: This is bullshit Fraze: This family sees what it wants to see and fuck the rest Fraze: Always has done Bea: then what's the point Fraze: Getting out Fraze: We've got our way, maybe this is his Bea: every man for himself then, if you ain't gonna look after yourself then sorry, fuck you Bea: I know you don't actually mean that Fraze: It ain't how I want it Fraze: But like I said, it ain't about what I want Bea: Could be Fraze: I can't fucking save him Fraze: I couldn't even save you Bea: Don't Fraze: What so now you don't wanna talk about it Bea: we aren't talking about me or that Fraze: We're talking about me Fraze: She wants me to sort it, how the hell can I? Bea: She knows you can't Bea: she just doesn't want to tell your parents either Bea: it makes it real Bea: this way she gets to say she did something but all it is is delegation because no, no one can 'save' him Bea: everyone knows how this works Fraze: Then what's the point Bea: to say you tried Bea: to show you give a shit Fraze: If I can't do fuck all for him he might as well not be my brother Fraze: Just any smackhead you walk past on the street like Bea: caring is something Bea: just 'cos you can't make him clean up if he don't want to doesn't mean you're useless Bea: just feel it Fraze: Is it making any difference to you, how much I feel? Fraze: You're still gonna leave and you don't want me to care about it Bea: I care too Bea: but I have to go, there's no alternatives Fraze: Fuck this Fraze: When Tommy jumped first, he had the right idea Bea: you don't have to stay here Fraze: You know that's bullshit as much as I do Bea: I mean this house Bea: get a flat share Bea: whatever Fraze: And that'll solve everything, yeah? Bea: Jesus Bea: what the fuck is this attitude Bea: just try, Fraze Fraze: Don't you dare Bea: why not Bea: it's fucking true Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: Who the actual fuck do you think you're talking to Bea: I don't even know Fraze: Fuck you Bea: yeah yeah Fraze: If you take another swing at me like that you better hope I'm drunker than I am, babe Bea: What are you gonna do Bea: nothing Fraze: What are you gonna do? Kicking someone when they're down only works if they're on the ground Bea: I'm going to drink some more Bea: that's what I'm gonna do Fraze: You and me both Fraze: So cheers Bea: great, have fun Fraze: Bring me my fucking glass Bea: excuse you Fraze: You want me to try, that's worth one Bea: you know what, if it'll shut you up then why not Bea: [brings it and slams it down dramatically] Fraze: [is 😏 & does a dramatic cheers] Bea: ['fuck you'] Fraze: ['I love you'] Bea: [turns back and stops, 'cos obvs walking off again, casually launching self at him for such an intense kiss] Fraze: [obvs kisses her back as intensely if not more so like that glass better watch itself & everything else in proximity because no attention being paid to anything else] Bea: [holding him so tight and pushing herself as close as she can and the closer still 'cos this is fucked but what else can they do] Fraze: [good job they actually are the only ones home] Bea: ['I'm sorry'] Fraze: ['Don't' literally gonna have bruises from how tightly they are holding onto each other here, oh you two and I also like to imagine that glass is shattered RIP cos what a mood and how dramatic] Bea: [be careful lads] Fraze: [says ILY again because the first time was a bit rude tbh] Bea: ['don't forget'] Fraze: [looks at her like you either & then does his best to make sure she won't cos that bitch forever] Bea: ['I already miss you'] Fraze: ['I know'] Bea: [staring at him again but in a saucy way now 'is that better?'] Fraze: [staring back because always & more kisses because obvious yes] Bea: [her turn to be 😏] Fraze: [have a bemused smile back babe because] Bea: ['don't stop' purposely leaving that ambiguous like] Fraze: ['I won't' it doesn't even matter what she means because he means that regardless & we all know it] Bea: [intense af makeout like are we still outside ok lads] Fraze: [picks her up because they are still outside but they got a bed not far away & they can kiss the whole way cos he can muscle memory where he's going basically this ain't their first rodeo lbr] Bea: [what a rollercoaster Fraze: [as is their standard, god bless I've missed you two you dramatic assholes. I hope you haven't left an entire trail of destruction as you intensely make out] Bea: [or do lbr like mcvickers ain't gonna know the half of the drama that's actually rn so] Fraze: [it's a mood so go off actually lads] Bea: [when all your other kids have fucked off like literally where is ro lmao] Fraze: [actually stressed about that broken glass outside rn excuse me] Bea: [doubt its the first time they've broken things being saucy/dramatic] Fraze: [god bless]

1 note · View note