#i hope each and every trans woman has a good day/week/etc because you guys deserve it!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eclecticgaycryptid · 4 years

Note

Really weird question, anything about gender fluid people/culture I should know, I’m planning on making a gender fluid character in my dnd game, but there’s a gender fluid person(irl genderfluid) who I’m afraid of offending, and who I’m too awkward to ask

Not weird at all! I’m actually very new to the community. While I have had many friends who are genderfluid as well, I’m not sure if I am the best person to answer your questions. If you have questions about the trans/non-binary community I’d be happy to answer any because I previously had identified as trans-masc for 3+ years. Don’t be afraid to pm me either! If you’d rather stay anonymous though that’s cool too. (Also don’t be afraid to ask that person if you can talk to them about it, if they don’t want to then they’ll say but, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and it could be a good learning opportunity!)

*cracks knuckles* Alrighty’o I’m going to try to do this to the best of my ability. Though some will be my personal experience.

First of all... THE DEFINITION (and some examples) OF GENDER FLUIDITY

I feel like it’s safe to assume you already know this because you are making a genderfluid character but just in case I am going to do this anyway.

Here is the technical definition:

Gender-fluid is a form of non-binary gender (meaning not male or female); people may feel specifically male, female, and/or non-binary (This can be anything from agender to pangender) at any time but, they flow through the genders naturally.

Now my definition:

Genderfluidity is defined as having no set in stone gender. It can change from day to day, week to week, or some period longer than that. I have never encountered someone whose gender changes in a period of time less than around a day but, I’m not denying their existence. Though some people think this, it’s not just limited to the binary! There are lots of different variations that can be ranging between flowing between two genders and all of them. There is a huge variety of people in the community, so there isn’t exactly one way to describe/define everyone.

Now to my experience:

As I said above I previously identified as trans-male for 3+ years and have been out to everyone (family, friends, internet, acquaintances, etc.) as such for about two years. I now though (after about a year of contemplation) have realized I am in fact gender-fluid. I personally vary between agender, non-binary, male, and occasionally, female. For all, I use he/him or they/them pronouns (If I’m feeling really comfortable I’ll use she/her but that’s rare). I have no specific sorting for what pronouns I use, just what is comfortable for me. It’s never been a distinct change or feeling for me when I feel like switching, I just kinda want to go with a different identity. I will also say that my gender for that period of time does not affect the way I dress in any way. Sometimes I do feel dysphoric (especially if I feel male that day) but I don’t deal with it as much as I used to. Mostly because I’ve had a good experience and I learned that even if you have breasts or female genitalia, that does not by any means make you a woman(you are only a woman if you identify as one). Because of this though, I don’t have much experience with body dysphoria for gender-fluid people. I do though have experience with social dysphoria though, it does depend largely on how comfortable I’m feeling that day and what I identify with at the time.

Things you might want to avoid:

Not having your character being spontaneous. If you are playing dnd and have a schedule for when you are going to switch your character’s gender or a set period of time (such as every month) it’s not very realistic and can perpetuate the stereotype that gender-fluid people plan their switches.

Things that might be good to add:

Make sure you are very clear with the DM that your character is genderfluid, you don’t want any confusion as to why your character changes pronouns.

Give them a fairly gender-neutral name. It doesn’t have to be completely gender-neutral but something that could pass as so. You could also go for a name with male, female, and/or gender-neutral variations as well.

Tell the other player’s characters your preferred pronouns (in character) each day.

I think this sums it up decently well. I hope I did a decent enough job. Because I am new to the community, I don’t know too much about the culture of it but, I tried my best. If you have any more questions (that includes people other than op who are reading this) feel free to message me if you feel comfortable!

Also for anyone who has continued reading up to this point, first of all, thank you for listening to me talk about this for a while! Also, HAVE YOU DRANK WATER, ARE YOU SUFFICIENTLY HYDRATED? If not DRINK WATER, HYDRATE YOURSELF, POUR H2O DOWN YOUR LARGEST FACE-HOLE! Have you eaten yet??? If you have not, please at least have something to nibble on, empty stomachs don’t feel good, and if any of you pass out from low blood sugar, I will find you, and when I do I will feed you. Also if you haven’t slept in the past 48 hours, go to sleep, take a break. Your work will still be there when you wake up. Even if it’s a little nap you deserve the rest for your hard work! Take care of yourself, if not for you then for me because I can’t be spending money on plane tickets and gas all the time to get you guys to take care of yourselves. Goodnight everyone!

4 notes · View notes