#i hope your marriage falls apart since its founded on lies and cheating

[joshuadunshua]

What to do when you’re afraid to leave, but you’re just as afraid to stay?

I was born in the covenant, to a convert father and a Mormon-since-birth mother. I was baptized at eight, like I was supposed to. I had a spiritual crisis in middle school, then found my way back to the church by high school. But I have never felt at ease with the teachings of the church. It has never sat right with me. I figured it was because I wasn’t like the other girls my age, I was geeky, nerdy, entirely unathletic, and for a long time I didn’t even want to be very feminine like them. They avoided me, and I stood upright and alone trying my best anyway. There were certainly some points where I’d not want to go to church at all, but I always attributed it to being outcasted by others. I graduated from YW with barely anything completed in my Personal Progress booklet because I didn’t believe in doing things just to get them done. I moved on to relief society, the only one left my age in the area as all the other girls moved off to start college.

Relief society has always had a fake feeling veneer over it, no matter what ward I was in. All the sisters seem to have fishhooks in the corners of their mouths whenever we’re all together. And I’m not even anywhere close to Utah. I can’t imagine how it might be out there, where there’s the mental health and opioid addiction epidemics. It’s not a mere correlation, I don’t think.

I had a devoted boyfriend who would go on to serve a mission, and before he left I felt that I should also go on a mission too. I think I felt that way because i would have nothing else to do for two years, so why not?

The only spiritual experience with prayer I can remember clearly having was as a middle school youth, and I cannot remember whether I prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true or that Christ’s teachings were true, or if it was for a testimony of something else entirely. I don’t trust my memory very well. I’ve never felt spirituality during a prayer since. Which means I never got confirmation from the Lord that I should serve a mission. But hey, I never got confirmation from the Lord for anything since middle school, so maybe it was always as I had heard someone say once, that the Lord knows I already know the answer, so He wouldn’t tell me?

So I weaned off the antidepressants I had just begun taking earlier that year and submitted my mission papers. And I was sent to Phoenix, AZ, Spanish speaking. The most exciting part was being able to get endowed just days before my only sibling’s Sealing to his to-be wife. I had been so afraid I wouldn’t get to be there for it, as he is older than I am and you can’t just get endowed if you’re a female. I don’t remember very much of my own endowment, not specifically. I do remember not feeling prepared, and feeling uncomfortable. I did not know what covenants I would be making exactly, but I knew it was the next step I was supposed to take.

So I packed my bags, said goodbye to my best friend, and left for the MTC. I’ve always struggled with routine (hello depression), so to have such a rigid schedule was good for me. I was desperate to become more in tune with God and Christ and the Holy Spirit. I read, listened, learned, and prayed more fervently than I ever had before. I also got sick in week one of six, lost my voice completely, and due to the nature of having to learn a language, was never allowed to fully recover it. Singing has always been the only thing I am great at in my life, and for the entire six weeks I was there, i could not sing. Not even for a visit from an apostle. I begged my teacher for just one day of vocal rest from practicing Spanish, and it was not permitted. I was heartbroken, and I still am. Singing has always been the one way I would say I could feel connected to my spirituality, and I could not access it.

I prayed desperately in the MTC many times over, begging God to let me feel His love. I prayed at night for ten minutes, once even half an hour. I prayed in the Celestial room on Saturdays when we were permitted to do endowment ordinances for the dead. Every week i would cry deeply in that beautiful room. I cried many many times at night. I just wanted to know for sure that God loved me. To feel something, anything, that i could identify. I can’t say I ever did. I figured there must just be something wrong with me and that I should stop asking. I persisted along.

I left the MTC and headed into the field, to Arizona. To Monte Vista, specifically. I had a decent compañera, she was tough, and steadfast, and strong in her convictions. She could seem a little unempathetic and unsympathetic at times, but she was doing her best. But where things had at least been going okay at the MTC, arriving in the field saw my mental health deteriorate. Rapidly. I have a paralyzing fear of role-play and role-play-like situations, and practice teaching is such a situation. I could not do it; I would freeze, panic, and cry. I quickly became more depressed on my mission than I had ever been at home since the eighth grade. Which is to say I was just shy of suicidal. I wanted to die, and be dead, and stop existing, but I was at least not in danger of acting upon it. I lost all sense of self-worth I had managed to build up. I cried everywhere i could without pestering my compañera. In the bathrooms, in the shower, silently at night after she was asleep. I did cry to her also, often during the morning studies. I still did not have my voice back. I was still not permitted a day of vocal rest. I began speaking with my mission president. I set up a time to visit with a family services therapist.

After a session with me, she told me she couldn’t see that there was anything wrong with me. To her, I was fine, because I was clearly not having an emotional breakdown in her office, and was cognizant of the irrationality I was dealing with. I was fine.

I went on splits with an English Sister, and cried to her, poured my soul out to her. She helped me to feel loved, but gave me the same response as everyone else. Pray about it.

Christmas came quickly. I had had thanksgiving in the MTC, after all. It was without a doubt the best thanksgiving I ever had. Not because I felt the spirit, but because it was not with my extended family. Thanksgivings with my extended family often turned into some kind of argument, then. So doing service and spending time with other missionaries was a nice change. While my compañera was Skyping with her family, I knelt in our bedroom alone and prayed. I prayed so hard. I wanted to stay, and yet I knew I might have to leave. I begged for help, and I received an answer for the first time in almost a decade. That I should go home. I Skyped my family, and told them what to expect. It was a very bittersweet Christmas Day. More bitter than sweet. But I felt I had my answer.

So I told my mission president, the priesthood leader presiding over the whole Phoenix, Arizona mission. God wanted me to go home.

“God wouldn’t tell you that.”

It took me over a week after that to make the final decision to go home. There are two things my mission president told me that i will never forget. One, was that, even if I went home and all my problems went away, that I still needed to get help, because it would come back, and it couldn’t come back when I was a new wife, or a new mother, when I had new and difficult responsibilities. The other, “God wouldn’t tell you that.”

I returned home in January. I was released with honor, a real RM in the eyes of the Church, and I went to the doctor for my depression. For a small while, I tried to stick with the habits of a missionary, praying and reading and studying daily. Maybe not the “up at 6am,” part, but much of the rest. But it soon became too painful to bear. Everything reminded me of my mission. Everything seemed to have the word failure on it in hidden inks that only my heart could read. I had to take a step back for my mental health.

I don’t know if my mission president knew what weight his words carried when he told me that. I don’t know if he thought before he spoke them. He justified his words to me. The only spiritual feeling I had felt from prayer since grade school was written off as a feeling I conjured myself. It’s easy for others to say “he abused his priesthood position,” but he learned that idea from somewhere. He’d thought on that idea before. He was immediate in that response, and he maintained it. He was a leader, and if someone like him is able to so simply destroy faith with a single sentence borne in his mind of God, how can I trust what any leader tells me is of God?

I pushed myself through the rest of the time my then boyfriend was out on his mission. I was faithful to him— it was easy, as I loved him so much and am asexual, so I had no concern that I would find myself in a position where I wouldn’t be able to “control myself.” I felt at that time that we were foreordained to marry, that when he returned home he would save for a ring and we would soon be engaged. That was always our plan.

Then he came home in late December of 2016. I tried to jump back into what we had had, but physically it was difficult as I had physically been isolated for two years. I told him I would need time to warm up to the more serious bits. Instead of trying to communicate boundaries and asking permission to move forward with anything, he grew cold. Any physical contact, I had to initiate. Kissing him felt like kissing a brick wall. He talked to me less— he never opened up more than surface level, an issue we had never had. He began to treat me like a monster, began to grow upset if I knew more than him about anything, and instead of talking to a 21 year old returned missionary, I felt like I was constantly speaking with an immature 17 year old high schooler. He was the perfect mormon boy, if you look at him objectively. He never missed a day of scripture reading or prayer, and he loved his mission, or so he said. He broke a lot of rules near the end, jumping into pop culture and watching anime and music videos on his P-days. He did not come back a man at all. He came back a depressed, worn down boy in denial of his own health.

Eventually I got him on skype with me (he lived an hour away), six months into the new year, four years of dating now behind us, and we broke it all down. I explained everything I felt was wrong, that I wanted to make it work, that I wanted both of us to be better. He explained how he was feeling, and that the feeling was mutual, that he wanted to see us succeed. So we agreed to take a break to focus on other things, our mental health and our next steps in life, and come back in a few months.

And then he told me he cheated on me months before. Kissing the sister who brought him to institute every week. I was heartbroken, devastated, angry. I could never trust him again, how could I? I had been faithful without him for two years, and he returns and is going at someone else after a mere three months.

I stopped talking to him under the premise of taking the aforementioned break. I needed time to think. Eventually I wrote him a breakup letter, too broken and angry to say anything to his face. A mutual friend meant to deliver it to his new address, which I didn’t know, but sent it to the wrong one. Before I could bring myself to write another letter, he texted me for my new address. I discovered he intended to break up with me through our mutual friend. I told him to screw off. The next day he was dating the same girl he had cheated on me with. He got engaged to her the day before what would have been our fifth year anniversary. He recently got sealed to her in the temple. They have been together for less than a year, and he is more committed to her than he had ever been to me. But I am still broken. I am still hurting. I do not miss him, but at one point he said that God had confirmed for him that we were right for each other, that he’d had a vision of our future family. I trusted him when he said that. I believed him. He had the priesthood, after all. He was the perfect member.

It has been around three years since I returned from my mission early— 12 weeks, by the way, was how long I had been out— and I still think about everything every day. I have been struggling with my faith every day. And as I grow, as I learn, as I have tried again and again to jumpstart my faith once more, to read and to pray and attending church like a good girl, the less convinced I am that I’m in the right place. I believe in God, but beyond that, I’m no longer sure. There’s so much dissonance with the concept of the God I feel from reading scripture and the concept of the God the church teaches about.

I can’t conceive of a God who makes some of His children gay, and then condemns them for it. I can’t conceive of a God who makes half of his Children to be Lesser than the other half, and commands them to know their place and covenant to maintain submission to the other Children’s authorities.

I cannot in good faith follow a leadership that ignores the teen suicide epidemic in Utah that disproportionately affects LGBTQ+ LDS youth. I cannot in good faith follow a leadership that in finally addressing mental illness, fails to address rampant spousal abuse.

But I’ve made these covenants, up to and including my endowment. I am filled with doubt of the truth I’ve been raised in, and am filled with fear that I cannot be truly happy if I stay. And I am also filled with fear that if it is true, and i should leave, then I am condemned, and am a disappointment to my parents who love this gospel so much.

I only hope that something somewhere got lost in translation, that God’s truth is still perverted in many aspects due to the folly of men, of patriarchal society, of homophobia and transphobia. I hope that this Church that I have been raised in, that i feel could still be the most correct, will yet change.

It’s a pessimistic hope.

I’m afraid to stay. I’m equally afraid to leave.

I’m unsure what I should do.

#mormon #queerstake #tumblrstake #idk. im lost. no matter what i choose i lose. #just wanted to... get this all out there. in the universe. #and forgive my language i guess but fuck you sam and what you did to me. #i hope your marriage falls apart since its founded on lies and cheating #get rekt. #long post

[comebeforegod]

God Heals the Pain of Infidelity and Brings Me Hope of Living

By Meiling, United States

My Happy Marriage Destroyed by My Husband’s Infidelity

Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed watching romance series, and I had high hopes for love and marriage. I hoped that once I grew up, I would be able to spend my whole life with the person I loved, that we would never be apart, and that we would care for each other in our old age. When I turned twenty, my colleague introduced me to my husband.

 He was handsome, tall, made every effort to take care of me and look after me, and it seemed we had endless things to talk about. Though I was certain that he was my other half and I wanted us to be husband and wife, my parents were deeply opposed to us being together. I disregarded my parents’ opposition and married him anyway. After that, my husband did all that I asked, and the love between us grew. Before long, I gave birth to a child and our lives became even more wonderful. I felt that my initial choice had been correct, and that there was no greater happiness than a life with someone who loved me and who I also loved.

My husband was a driver, so he often went out drinking, to karaoke, or to play cards with his colleagues. At first I didn’t mind—I felt it was normal for him to have fun with his friends. But slowly, he began to stay out the entire night, and I couldn’t help but become concerned, “My husband is out all day at those entertainment venues, and he doesn’t come home after work. There couldn’t be another woman, could there?” But I quickly denied my own thoughts, shaking my head and thinking, “It can’t be. We’ve maintained our mutual affection since meeting each other, and our love has only grown. My husband is very considerate toward me; he wouldn’t do something like that to me. I’m probably worrying too much.” Once I thought of all those things, my concerns gradually subsided.

I never thought the day would come when what I feared most actually happened. At the time, I had just given birth to our second child, who wasn’t even a month old, and it was another night my husband didn’t come home. When he returned the following day, just as I was about to question him, he said to me solemnly, “There’s something that’s been causing me a lot of pain, and I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I’m seeing another woman, she’s pregnant with my child, and she is going to give birth soon. But she’s going abroad after the child is born….” The news hit me like a bolt of lightning. I was left dumbfounded. As tears streamed from my eyes, I said furiously to my husband, “How could you do such a thing? You’re utterly shameless!” While saying this, I hit him with all my strength. He didn’t strike back, and said, “I know what I did was wrong, and I’ve let you down. I feel very guilty. But she’s going to leave after she has the baby, and once she’s gone, our life can be like it used to be. I promise I’ll make it up to you, and I swear that nothing like this will happen again. Please give me another chance.” I hated that my husband was capable of doing something that was so hurtful, such a betrayal of me, but I thought of the prospect of my children being fatherless if we divorced, which would disadvantage them growing up. In my pain and helplessness, I suppressed the anger within me and repeated these words over and over to console myself, “What’s done is done, so let’s take it one step at a time!”

After that, my husband went frequently to care for that woman, and all of the home’s burdens fell on me. I worked and also looked after the children; the physical weariness on top of my psychological wounds were a weight so oppressive I could hardly breathe. I spent my days unable to eat or sleep. As soon as I closed my eyes, all I could think of was my husband’s infidelity and cheating. My heart was never at peace, and I would often gaze at the ceiling as I moaned, sighed, and wept silent tears. I grew thinner with each passing day, dropping from 55 to 46 kilos. I constantly found myself thinking, “No mater how well a broken bowl is glued back together, it still shows cracks. Can a broken marriage survive? Can my husband truly give up this woman in his heart?” These questions continued to circle in my mind, and I became so distraught that I began to contemplate suicide. But I realized that if I were to die, my two children would be without a mother and my parents wouldn’t be able to take such a blow either. So, all I could do was put aside my thoughts of killing myself. I constantly asked myself, “Is this really the man who pledged his eternal love to me? The promises of being for eternity, of growing old together, of loving me forever were just lies to deceive me …”

Several months later, that woman gave birth and then she really did go overseas, but my loathing for my husband didn’t abate. In our daily lives, if my husband did anything even slightly displeasing to me, I would seize on it, exaggerate the matter, and mock him sarcastically. Venting this way didn’t make me happy at all. On the contrary, I became even more troubled and distressed. I felt increasingly depressed, and I didn’t see any hope for life in the future.

Putting Aside My Hatred of My Husband Thanks to the Guidance of God’s Word

Where man ends is where God begins. Just as I found myself at a dead end, God’s salvation of the last days came to me. One day in 2009, a friend shared God’s gospel of the last days with me, and I read this passage of God’s words, “When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: realizing the fact that you came from God, but at who knows what point losing your direction, at who knows what point falling senseless by the wayside, and again at who knows what point acquiring a ‘father.’ Furthermore, you realize that the Almighty has been there the whole time, standing watch, awaiting your return, for a very, very long time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).

As I read God’s words, I couldn’t stop the tears streaming from my eyes. His words were like a current of warm water that thawed my frozen heart. It turned out that God had been by my side all along, waiting for me to turn back to Him, but I was too numb. I had been drifting in the world for so long, yet God had not cast me aside. At a time when I had lost hope in life and had nowhere to turn, God sent a friend to preach the gospel to me and used His words to console my grief-stricken, tormented heart, giving me the hope and courage to go on living. At that moment, I was like a lost child finally returning to their mother’s embrace—I felt so secure, so cared for.

After that, I often took part in church life, where I fellowshiped on God’s words with my brothers and sisters and sang hymns of praise to God. When my brothers and sisters learned what had happened to me, none of them laughed at me. Instead, they fellowshiped on the truth with me and helped me with compassion, allowing me to become stronger. I felt the genuine love among my brothers and sisters—this was very moving.

At one meeting, we read two passages of God’s word, “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny. And so people go through their whole lives in a daze of confusion, never once enjoying the good things that God has prepared for them, but instead being damaged by Satan and left in tatters. Today they have become so enervated and listless…” (“Work and Entry (1)”). “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day … under the domain of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”).

Through the revelations of God’s word and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters, I came to know the source of my husband’s infidelity, and I understood the origin of my suffering. After being corrupted by Satan, we all live under Satan’s power, and we had all been infected and poisoned by Satan’s evil ideas such as “Don’t ask for eternity, be happy with now,” “Having a wife or husband at home but also taking a lover,” and “Without a mistress, a man has no zest for life.” People advocate evil and pursue so-called love in the belief that love is not a sin and that a perfect love affair is something people should pursue. This leads to the complete breakdown of boundaries between men and women. People no longer respect proper marriage, but instead indulge their carnal desires and pursue one-night stands and extramarital affairs. People’s thoughts have become increasingly vile and decadent, they no longer consider ethics, morality, or honor, and even less do people consider duty to family, they have lost their humanity and reason, and live in a morass of sexual promiscuity and corruption, to the extent that unhealthy trends and vile practices such as extramarital affairs, keeping mistresses, and maintaining a lover become fashionable throughout the entire society. Countless families have been destroyed and broken up for this reason. Some who couldn’t endure infidelity by their other half ended their own lives, while others whose love turned to hatred sought revenge on other party, and tragic killings occurred. I thought of my husband, who had also been poisoned by Satan’s evil thought and followed the evil trend of seeking an extramarital affair, and even had a child, without the slightest consideration for my feelings, and without giving any thought to the great harm that such conduct would bring to his children and this family. It was only now that I understood that this was the bitter fruit of mankind following Satan’s evil trends!

I saw that I myself was also unendurably tormented because I lived the mistaken notions imbued in me by Satan. From when I first began to understand things, I was drawn to and moved by romantic stories in television dramas and novels, through which I was inundated and influenced by such ideas as “Love is supreme,” “The lovers finally get married,” “Devoted husband and wife growing old together,” “Lovers never apart, love unchanging until death.” I believed possessing such love and marriage was the only possible happiness in life. So, I strenuously pursued a purely imaginary love, paid no attention to my parents’ opposition, and insisted on marrying my husband in the belief that he cared for me in every possible way, and that after our wedding we would certainly have a happy marriage like the characters in the romances. The result was that when my husband betrayed me by having an affair, the dream of love I had been pursuing was destroyed, I lived trapped inextricably in torment, believed that there was no meaning in life, and even considered suicide. It was only when I came to realize these things that I could see that the ideas and views with which Satan inundates us are the ways and methods it uses to corrupt and harm mankind. The reason my husband and I lived in such torment was also Satan’s corruption and harm. If we humans lack the truth, how can we resist Satan’s evil trends and being inundated and corrupted by its mistaken notions? When I understood these things, my hatred of my husband faded a great deal.

Finding a New Direction in Life

Later on, I read this passage of God’s words, “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth” (“How to Know Man’s Nature”).

The word of God pointed out a clear direction and goal to pursue for me. It made me understand that in life, only we pursue the truth, pursue knowledge of God, gain the truth, and live by God’s word can we escape the bondage and constraints of Satan’s ideas and views, achieve fear of and obedience to God, and fulfill the duties of a created being, which is the most meaningful possible life, and which people ought to pursue and achieve. Through my experiences during this period, I truly experienced that the love of characters in romance who go through thick and thin together simply doesn’t exist, and is just a lie created by Satan to deceive people. Only God’s love of man is true love, and we can only resolve our problems and difficulties with the word of God, which points out a clear direction for us and allows us to live in the light. I thought about how after my husband’s infidelity, when I was so tormented that death was preferable to life, it was the word of God that warmed my heart and made me wish to go on living. When I met with my brothers and sisters to read the word of God, without being aware of it I began to understand some of the truth, and I had some discernment of Satan’s methods of corrupting and harming people, I understood the source of my own pain, and only then could I live without such depression. When I thought of these things, it confirmed even more the value of the truth and God’s word, and I wished to practice according to God’s word and let go of the mistaken pursuits and views in my mind. I could no longer sully myself with purely imaginary love. I wanted to read more of God’s word, fulfill the duties of a created being, and repay God’s love. Once I understood these things, my mind was much calmer, and I felt a relaxation and release that I had never had before.

Not long after, that woman wanted my husband to go overseas to live with her. When I heard this, I was somewhat unhappy but then I thought it over, “If my husband decides to go live with that woman, I can’t change anything. Even if he were to stay with me physically, his heart wouldn’t be mine. I should seek the truth from God’s word, view the matter according to God’s word, and entrust this matter to God.” So, I prayed to God, “God! In this matter, I no longer wish to live by Satan’s thought and views, nor do I wish to struggle for or chase after some perfect love. Regardless of whether my husband stays or leaves in the end, it’s his choice and I won’t interfere. My only wish is to focus on seeking the truth, live according to Your word, and deal with this matter correctly.” Afterward, I said to my husband, “If you really want to go, then go. I won’t stand in your way. You can choose for yourself!” When he heard that, my husband looked at me in astonishment and said, “You’ve really changed. I wouldn’t have thought such words could come out of your mouth.” When I heard my husband say this, I silently thanked God! It was entirely due to the strength given to me by God’s word that I could calmly face this matter. It was only because the word of God had changed me, and given me correct goals and direction in my existence that I was able to live in release and freedom.

In the end, my husband remained with me. He also changed slowly. In the evenings, he made every effort not go out socializing, and he often helped out with the chores and looked after the children of his own accord. My relationship with my husband improved a great deal, our life became peaceful, I felt much more at ease, and I slept much better than before.

Every time I think back on this experience, deep emotions well up within me. If God hadn’t saved me, I would have continued to be corrupted and ruined by my satanic mistaken ideas. When I was inextricably suffering such torment due to my husband’s infidelity, the guidance of the word of God allowed me to see clearly the reality of Satan’s corruption of man, to see through Satan’s tricks, and to emerge from this torment. As I was experiencing this, I deeply experienced that seeking the truth and knowing God are the most meaningful things in life. We can only have a road to follow and any real happiness if we live according to God’s word. Departing from God’s word and falling under Satan’s power can only bring unendurable torment. I thank God for saving me!

#God’s word #God’s salvation #the gospel #Almighty God #God

[love-god-forever]

How I Got Over My Husband’s Betrayal

By Meiling, United States

My Happy Marriage Destroyed by My Husband’s Betrayal

Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed watching romance series, and I had high hopes for love and marriage. I hoped that once I grew up, I would be able to spend my whole life with the person I loved, that we would never be apart, and that we would care for each other in our old age. When I turned twenty, my colleague introduced me to my husband.

He was handsome, tall, made every effort to take care of me and look after me, and it seemed we had endless things to talk about. Though I was certain that he was my other half and I wanted us to be husband and wife, my parents were deeply opposed to us being together. I disregarded my parents’ opposition and married him anyway. After that, my husband did all that I asked, and the love between us grew. Before long, I gave birth to a child and our lives became even more wonderful. I felt that my initial choice had been correct, and that there was no greater happiness than a life with someone who loved me and who I also loved.

My husband was a driver, so he often went out drinking, to karaoke, or to play cards with his colleagues. At first I didn’t mind—I felt it was normal for him to have fun with his friends. But slowly, he began to stay out the entire night, and I couldn’t help but become concerned, “My husband is out all day at those entertainment venues, and he doesn’t come home after work. There couldn’t be another woman, could there?” But I quickly denied my own thoughts, shaking my head and thinking, “It can’t be. We’ve maintained our mutual affection since meeting each other, and our love has only grown. My husband is very considerate toward me; he wouldn’t do something like that to me. I’m probably worrying too much.” Once I thought of all those things, my concerns gradually subsided.

I never thought the day would come when what I feared most actually happened. At the time, I had just given birth to our second child, who wasn’t even a month old, and it was another night my husband didn’t come home. When he returned the following day, just as I was about to question him, he said to me solemnly, “There’s something that’s been causing me a lot of pain, and I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I’m seeing another woman, she’s pregnant with my child, and she is going to give birth soon. But she’s going abroad after the child is born….” The news hit me like a bolt of lightning. I was left dumbfounded. As tears streamed from my eyes, I said furiously to my husband, “How could you do such a thing? You’re utterly shameless!” While saying this, I hit him with all my strength. He didn’t strike back, and said, “I know what I did was wrong, and I’ve let you down. I feel very guilty. But she’s going to leave after she has the baby, and once she’s gone, our life can be like it used to be. I promise I’ll make it up to you, and I swear that nothing like this will happen again. Please give me another chance.” I hated that my husband was capable of doing something that was so hurtful, such a betrayal of me, but I thought of the prospect of my children being fatherless if we divorced, which would disadvantage them growing up. In my pain and helplessness, I suppressed the anger within me and repeated these words over and over to console myself, “What’s done is done, so let’s take it one step at a time!”

After that, my husband went frequently to care for that woman, and all of the home’s burdens fell on me. I worked and also looked after the children; the physical weariness on top of my psychological wounds were a weight so oppressive I could hardly breathe. I spent my days unable to eat or sleep. As soon as I closed my eyes, all I could think of was my husband’s betrayal and cheating. My heart was never at peace, and I would often gaze at the ceiling as I moaned, sighed, and wept silent tears. I grew thinner with each passing day, dropping from 55 to 46 kilos. I constantly found myself thinking, “No matter how well a broken bowl is glued back together, it still shows cracks. Can a broken marriage survive? Can my husband truly give up this woman in his heart?” These questions continued to circle in my mind, and I became so distraught that I began to contemplate suicide. But I realized that if I were to die, my two children would be without a mother and my parents wouldn’t be able to take such a blow either. So, all I could do was put aside my thoughts of killing myself. I constantly asked myself, “Is this really the man who pledged his eternal love to me? The promises of being for eternity, of growing old together, of loving me forever were just lies to deceive me …”

Several months later, that woman gave birth and then she really did go overseas, but my loathing for my husband didn’t abate. In our daily lives, if my husband did anything even slightly displeasing to me, I would seize on it, exaggerate the matter, and mock him sarcastically. Venting this way didn’t make me happy at all. On the contrary, I became even more troubled and distressed. I felt increasingly depressed, and I didn’t see any hope for life in the future.

Putting Aside My Hatred of My Husband Thanks to the Guidance of God’s Word

Where man ends is where God begins. Just as I found myself at a dead end, God’s salvation of the last days came to me. One day in 2009, a friend shared God’s gospel of the last days with me, and I read this passage of God’s words, “When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: realizing the fact that you came from God, but at who knows what point losing your direction, at who knows what point falling senseless by the wayside, and again at who knows what point acquiring a ‘father.’ Furthermore, you realize that the Almighty has been there the whole time, standing watch, awaiting your return, for a very, very long time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).

As I read God’s words, I couldn’t stop the tears streaming from my eyes. His words were like a current of warm water that thawed my frozen heart. It turned out that God had been by my side all along, waiting for me to turn back to Him, but I was too numb. I had been drifting in the world for so long, yet God had not cast me aside. At a time when I had lost hope in life and had nowhere to turn, God sent a friend to preach the gospel to me and used His words to console my grief-stricken, tormented heart, giving me the hope and courage to go on living. At that moment, I was like a lost child finally returning to their mother’s embrace—I felt so secure, so cared for.

After that, I often took part in church life, where I fellowshiped on God’s words with my brothers and sisters and sang hymns of praise to God. When my brothers and sisters learned what had happened to me, none of them laughed at me. Instead, they fellowshiped on the truth with me and helped me with compassion, allowing me to become stronger. I felt the genuine love among my brothers and sisters—this was very moving.

At one meeting, we read two passages of God’s word, “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny. And so people go through their whole lives in a daze of confusion, never once enjoying the good things that God has prepared for them, but instead being damaged by Satan and left in tatters. Today they have become so enervated and listless…” (“Work and Entry (1)”). “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day … under the domain of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”).

Through the revelations of God’s word and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters, I came to know the source of my husband’s betrayal, and I understood the origin of my suffering. After being corrupted by Satan, we all live under Satan’s power, and we had all been infected and poisoned by Satan’s evil ideas such as “Don’t ask for eternity, be happy with now,” “Having a wife or husband at home but also taking a lover,” and “Without a mistress, a man has no zest for life.” People advocate evil and pursue so-called love in the belief that love is not a sin and that a perfect love affair is something people should pursue. This leads to the complete breakdown of boundaries between men and women. People no longer respect proper marriage, but instead indulge their carnal desires and pursue one-night stands and extramarital affairs. People’s thoughts have become increasingly vile and decadent, they no longer consider ethics, morality, or honor, and even less do people consider duty to family, they have lost their humanity and reason, and live in a morass of sexual promiscuity and corruption, to the extent that unhealthy trends and vile practices such as extramarital affairs, keeping mistresses, and maintaining a lover become fashionable throughout the entire society. Countless families have been destroyed and broken up for this reason. Some who couldn’t endure betrayal by their other half ended their own lives, while others whose love turned to hatred sought revenge on other party, and tragic killings occurred. I thought of my husband, who had also been poisoned by Satan’s evil thought and followed the evil trend of seeking an extramarital affair, and even had a child, without the slightest consideration for my feelings, and without giving any thought to the great harm that such conduct would bring to his children and this family. It was only now that I understood that this was the bitter fruit of mankind following Satan’s evil trends!

I saw that I myself was also unendurably tormented because I lived the mistaken notions imbued in me by Satan. From when I first began to understand things, I was drawn to and moved by romantic stories in television dramas and novels, through which I was inundated and influenced by such ideas as “Love is supreme,” “The lovers finally get married,” “Devoted husband and wife growing old together,” “Lovers never apart, love unchanging until death.” I believed possessing such love and marriage was the only possible happiness in life. So, I strenuously pursued a purely imaginary love, paid no attention to my parents’ opposition, and insisted on marrying my husband in the belief that he cared for me in every possible way, and that after our wedding we would certainly have a happy marriage like the characters in the romances. The result was that when my husband betrayed me by having an affair, the dream of love I had been pursuing was destroyed, I lived trapped inextricably in torment, believed that there was no meaning in life, and even considered suicide. It was only when I came to realize these things that I could see that the ideas and views with which Satan inundates us are the ways and methods it uses to corrupt and harm mankind. The reason my husband and I lived in such torment was also Satan’s corruption and harm. If we humans lack the truth, how can we resist Satan’s evil trends and being inundated and corrupted by its mistaken notions? When I understood these things, my hatred of my husband faded a great deal.

Finding a New Direction in Life

Later on, I read this passage of God’s words, “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth” (“How to Know Man’s Nature”).

The word of God pointed out a clear direction and goal to pursue for me. It made me understand that in life, only we pursue the truth, pursue knowledge of God, gain the truth, and live by God’s word can we escape the bondage and constraints of Satan’s ideas and views, achieve fear of and obedience to God, and fulfill the duties of a created being, which is the most meaningful possible life, and which people ought to pursue and achieve. Through my experiences during this period, I truly experienced that the love of characters in romance who go through thick and thin together simply doesn’t exist, and is just a lie created by Satan to deceive people. Only God’s love of man is true love, and we can only resolve our problems and difficulties with the word of God, which points out a clear direction for us and allows us to live in the light. I thought about how after my husband’s betrayal, when I was so tormented that death was preferable to life, it was the word of God that warmed my heart and made me wish to go on living. When I met with my brothers and sisters to read the word of God, without being aware of it I began to understand some of the truth, and I had some discernment of Satan’s methods of corrupting and harming people, I understood the source of my own pain, and only then could I live without such depression. When I thought of these things, it confirmed even more the value of the truth and God’s word, and I wished to practice according to God’s word and let go of the mistaken pursuits and views in my mind. I could no longer sully myself with purely imaginary love. I wanted to read more of God’s word, fulfill the duties of a created being, and repay God’s love. Once I understood these things, my mind was much calmer, and I felt a relaxation and release that I had never had before.

Not long after, that woman wanted my husband to go overseas to live with her. When I heard this, I was somewhat unhappy but then I thought it over, “If my husband decides to go live with that woman, I can’t change anything. Even if he were to stay with me physically, his heart wouldn’t be mine. I should seek the truth from God’s word, view the matter according to God’s word, and entrust this matter to God.” So, I prayed to God, “God! In this matter, I no longer wish to live by Satan’s thought and views, nor do I wish to struggle for or chase after some perfect love. Regardless of whether my husband stays or leaves in the end, it’s his choice and I won’t interfere. My only wish is to focus on seeking the truth, live according to Your word, and deal with this matter correctly.” Afterward, I said to my husband, “If you really want to go, then go. I won’t stand in your way. You can choose for yourself!” When he heard that, my husband looked at me in astonishment and said, “You’ve really changed. I wouldn’t have thought such words could come out of your mouth.” When I heard my husband say this, I silently thanked God! It was entirely due to the strength given to me by God’s word that I could calmly face this matter. It was only because the word of God had changed me, and given me correct goals and direction in my existence that I was able to live in release and freedom.

In the end, my husband remained with me. He also changed slowly. In the evenings, he made every effort not go out socializing, and he often helped out with the chores and looked after the children of his own accord. My relationship with my husband improved a great deal, our life became peaceful, I felt much more at ease, and I slept much better than before.

Every time I think back on this experience, deep emotions well up within me. If God hadn’t saved me, I would have continued to be corrupted and ruined by my satanic mistaken ideas. When I was inextricably suffering such torment due to my husband’s betrayal, the guidance of the word of God allowed me to see clearly the reality of Satan’s corruption of man, to see through Satan’s tricks, and to emerge from this torment. As I was experiencing this, I deeply experienced that seeking the truth and knowing God are the most meaningful things in life. We can only have a road to follow and any real happiness if we live according to God’s word. Departing from God’s word and falling under Satan’s power can only bring unendurable torment. I thank God for saving me!

#the gospel #God’s Word #the last days #God’s salvation

[almightygodismydependence-blog]

God Heals the Pain of Infidelity and Brings Me Hope of Living

By Meiling, United States

My Happy Marriage Destroyed by My Husband’s infidelity

Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed watching romance series, and I had high hopes for love and marriage. I hoped that once I grew up, I would be able to spend my whole life with the person I loved, that we would never be apart, and that we would care for each other in our old age. When I turned twenty, my colleague introduced me to my husband. He was handsome, tall, made every effort to take care of me and look after me, and it seemed we had endless things to talk about. Though I was certain that he was my other half and I wanted us to be husband and wife, my parents were deeply opposed to us being together. I disregarded my parents’ opposition and married him anyway. After that, my husband did all that I asked, and the love between us grew. Before long, I gave birth to a child and our lives became even more wonderful. I felt that my initial choice had been correct, and that there was no greater happiness than a life with someone who loved me and who I also loved.

My husband was a driver, so he often went out drinking, to karaoke, or to play cards with his colleagues. At first I didn’t mind—I felt it was normal for him to have fun with his friends. But slowly, he began to stay out the entire night, and I couldn’t help but become concerned, “My husband is out all day at those entertainment venues, and he doesn’t come home after work. There couldn’t be another woman, could there?” But I quickly denied my own thoughts, shaking my head and thinking, “It can’t be. We’ve maintained our mutual affection since meeting each other, and our love has only grown. My husband is very considerate toward me; he wouldn’t do something like that to me. I’m probably worrying too much.” Once I thought of all those things, my concerns gradually subsided.

I never thought the day would come when what I feared most actually happened. At the time, I had just given birth to our second child, who wasn’t even a month old, and it was another night my husband didn’t come home. When he returned the following day, just as I was about to question him, he said to me solemnly, “There’s something that’s been causing me a lot of pain, and I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I’m seeing another woman, she’s pregnant with my child, and she is going to give birth soon. But she’s going abroad after the child is born….” The news hit me like a bolt of lightning. I was left dumbfounded. As tears streamed from my eyes, I said furiously to my husband, “How could you do such a thing? You’re utterly shameless!” While saying this, I hit him with all my strength. He didn’t strike back, and said, “I know what I did was wrong, and I’ve let you down. I feel very guilty. But she’s going to leave after she has the baby, and once she’s gone, our life can be like it used to be. I promise I’ll make it up to you, and I swear that nothing like this will happen again. Please give me another chance.” I hated that my husband was capable of doing something that was so hurtful, such a betrayal of me, but I thought of the prospect of my children being fatherless if we divorced, which would disadvantage them growing up. In my pain and helplessness, I suppressed the anger within me and repeated these words over and over to console myself, “What’s done is done, so let’s take it one step at a time!”

After that, my husband went frequently to care for that woman, and all of the home’s burdens fell on me. I worked and also looked after the children; the physical weariness on top of my psychological wounds were a weight so oppressive I could hardly breathe. I spent my days unable to eat or sleep. As soon as I closed my eyes, all I could think of was my husband’s infidelity and cheating. My heart was never at peace, and I would often gaze at the ceiling as I moaned, sighed, and wept silent tears. I grew thinner with each passing day, dropping from 55 to 46 kilos. I constantly found myself thinking, “No mater how well a broken bowl is glued back together, it still shows cracks. Can a broken marriage survive? Can my husband truly give up this woman in his heart?” These questions continued to circle in my mind, and I became so distraught that I began to contemplate suicide. But I realized that if I were to die, my two children would be without a mother and my parents wouldn’t be able to take such a blow either. So, all I could do was put aside my thoughts of killing myself. I constantly asked myself, “Is this really the man who pledged his eternal love to me? The promises of being for eternity, of growing old together, of loving me forever were just lies to deceive me …”

Several months later, that woman gave birth and then she really did go overseas, but my loathing for my husband didn’t abate. In our daily lives, if my husband did anything even slightly displeasing to me, I would seize on it, exaggerate the matter, and mock him sarcastically. Venting this way didn’t make me happy at all. On the contrary, I became even more troubled and distressed. I felt increasingly depressed, and I didn’t see any hope for life in the future.

Putting Aside My Hatred of My Husband Thanks to the Guidance of God’s Word

Where man ends is where God begins. Just as I found myself at a dead end, God’s salvation of the last days came to me. One day in 2009, a friend shared God’s gospel of the last days with me, and I read this passage of God’s words, “When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: realizing the fact that you came from God, but at who knows what point losing your direction, at who knows what point falling senseless by the wayside, and again at who knows what point acquiring a ‘father.’ Furthermore, you realize that the Almighty has been there the whole time, standing watch, awaiting your return, for a very, very long time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).

As I read God’s words, I couldn’t stop the tears streaming from my eyes. His words were like a current of warm water that thawed my frozen heart. It turned out that God had been by my side all along, waiting for me to turn back to Him, but I was too numb. I had been drifting in the world for so long, yet God had not cast me aside. At a time when I had lost hope in life and had nowhere to turn, God sent a friend to preach the gospel to me and used His words to console my grief-stricken, tormented heart, giving me the hope and courage to go on living. At that moment, I was like a lost child finally returning to their mother’s embrace—I felt so secure, so cared for.

After that, I often took part in church life, where I fellowshiped on God’s words with my brothers and sisters and sang hymns of praise to God. When my brothers and sisters learned what had happened to me, none of them laughed at me. Instead, they fellowshiped on the truth with me and helped me with compassion, allowing me to become stronger. I felt the genuine love among my brothers and sisters—this was very moving.

At one meeting, we read two passages of God’s word, “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny. And so people go through their whole lives in a daze of confusion, never once enjoying the good things that God has prepared for them, but instead being damaged by Satan and left in tatters. Today they have become so enervated and listless…” (“Work and Entry (1)”). “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day … under the domain of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”).

Through the revelations of God’s word and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters, I came to know the source of my husband’s infidelity, and I understood the origin of my suffering. After being corrupted by Satan, we all live under Satan’s power, and we had all been infected and poisoned by Satan’s evil ideas such as “Don’t ask for eternity, be happy with now,” “Having a wife or husband at home but also taking a lover,” and “Without a mistress, a man has no zest for life.” People advocate evil and pursue so-called love in the belief that love is not a sin and that a perfect love affair is something people should pursue. This leads to the complete breakdown of boundaries between men and women. People no longer respect proper marriage, but instead indulge their carnal desires and pursue one-night stands and extramarital affairs. People’s thoughts have become increasingly vile and decadent, they no longer consider ethics, morality, or honor, and even less do people consider duty to family, they have lost their humanity and reason, and live in a morass of sexual promiscuity and corruption, to the extent that unhealthy trends and vile practices such as extramarital affairs, keeping mistresses, and maintaining a lover become fashionable throughout the entire society. Countless families have been destroyed and broken up for this reason. Some who couldn’t endure infidelity by their other half ended their own lives, while others whose love turned to hatred sought revenge on other party, and tragic killings occurred. I thought of my husband, who had also been poisoned by Satan’s evil thought and followed the evil trend of seeking an extramarital affair, and even had a child, without the slightest consideration for my feelings, and without giving any thought to the great harm that such conduct would bring to his children and this family. It was only now that I understood that this was the bitter fruit of mankind following Satan’s evil trends!

I saw that I myself was also unendurably tormented because I lived the mistaken notions imbued in me by Satan. From when I first began to understand things, I was drawn to and moved by romantic stories in television dramas and novels, through which I was inundated and influenced by such ideas as “Love is supreme,” “The lovers finally get married,” “Devoted husband and wife growing old together,” “Lovers never apart, love unchanging until death.” I believed possessing such love and marriage was the only possible happiness in life. So, I strenuously pursued a purely imaginary love, paid no attention to my parents’ opposition, and insisted on marrying my husband in the belief that he cared for me in every possible way, and that after our wedding we would certainly have a happy marriage like the characters in the romances. The result was that when my husband betrayed me by having an affair, the dream of love I had been pursuing was destroyed, I lived trapped inextricably in torment, believed that there was no meaning in life, and even considered suicide. It was only when I came to realize these things that I could see that the ideas and views with which Satan inundates us are the ways and methods it uses to corrupt and harm mankind. The reason my husband and I lived in such torment was also Satan’s corruption and harm. If we humans lack the truth, how can we resist Satan’s evil trends and being inundated and corrupted by its mistaken notions? When I understood these things, my hatred of my husband faded a great deal.

Finding a New Direction in Life

Later on, I read this passage of God’s words, “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth” (“How to Know Man’s Nature”).

The word of God pointed out a clear direction and goal to pursue for me. It made me understand that in life, only we pursue the truth, pursue knowledge of God, gain the truth, and live by God’s word can we escape the bondage and constraints of Satan’s ideas and views, achieve fear of and obedience to God, and fulfill the duties of a created being, which is the most meaningful possible life, and which people ought to pursue and achieve. Through my experiences during this period, I truly experienced that the love of characters in romance who go through thick and thin together simply doesn’t exist, and is just a lie created by Satan to deceive people. Only God’s love of man is true love, and we can only resolve our problems and difficulties with the word of God, which points out a clear direction for us and allows us to live in the light. I thought about how after my husband’s infidelity, when I was so tormented that death was preferable to life, it was the word of God that warmed my heart and made me wish to go on living. When I met with my brothers and sisters to read the word of God, without being aware of it I began to understand some of the truth, and I had some discernment of Satan’s methods of corrupting and harming people, I understood the source of my own pain, and only then could I live without such depression. When I thought of these things, it confirmed even more the value of the truth and God’s word, and I wished to practice according to God’s word and let go of the mistaken pursuits and views in my mind. I could no longer sully myself with purely imaginary love. I wanted to read more of God’s word, fulfill the duties of a created being, and repay God’s love. Once I understood these things, my mind was much calmer, and I felt a relaxation and release that I had never had before.

Not long after, that woman wanted my husband to go overseas to live with her. When I heard this, I was somewhat unhappy but then I thought it over, “If my husband decides to go live with that woman, I can’t change anything. Even if he were to stay with me physically, his heart wouldn’t be mine. I should seek the truth from God’s word, view the matter according to God’s word, and entrust this matter to God.” So, I prayed to God, “God! In this matter, I no longer wish to live by Satan’s thought and views, nor do I wish to struggle for or chase after some perfect love. Regardless of whether my husband stays or leaves in the end, it’s his choice and I won’t interfere. My only wish is to focus on seeking the truth, live according to Your word, and deal with this matter correctly.” Afterward, I said to my husband, “If you really want to go, then go. I won’t stand in your way. You can choose for yourself!” When he heard that, my husband looked at me in astonishment and said, “You’ve really changed. I wouldn’t have thought such words could come out of your mouth.” When I heard my husband say this, I silently thanked God! It was entirely due to the strength given to me by God’s word that I could calmly face this matter. It was only because the word of God had changed me, and given me correct goals and direction in my existence that I was able to live in release and freedom.

In the end, my husband remained with me. He also changed slowly. In the evenings, he made every effort not go out socializing, and he often helped out with the chores and looked after the children of his own accord. My relationship with my husband improved a great deal, our life became peaceful, I felt much more at ease, and I slept much better than before.

Every time I think back on this experience, deep emotions well up within me. If God hadn’t saved me, I would have continued to be corrupted and ruined by my satanic mistaken ideas. When I was inextricably suffering such torment due to my husband’s infidelity, the guidance of the word of God allowed me to see clearly the reality of Satan’s corruption of man, to see through Satan’s tricks, and to emerge from this torment. As I was experiencing this, I deeply experienced that seeking the truth and knowing God are the most meaningful things in life. We can only have a road to follow and any real happiness if we live according to God’s word. Departing from God’s word and falling under Satan’s power can only bring unendurable torment. I thank God for saving me!

#God’s salvation #Almighty God