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shiny-jr · 4 years

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❝ 𝒴𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝓇 𝒴𝑒𝓈 ❞

Yandere!Hunter x Reader - Dante Senguri

The plot of this one shot is from an old series of mine, it is based off of a small story called "The Most Dangerous Game.” Dante Senguri is my own character!

“Yes or yes?”

"Just a bit longer, and you'll be back in the wild." You purred to the young striped tiger that lazed at your feet, stroking the predator's cheek and tracing your fingers to his ear where you scratched gently. Listening to the content purrs of the large cat.

This large feline friend was Tony. A tiger that had been merely a cub shot by hunters in the jungles and left to perish and die. But before he could bleed to death, you and your crew discovered the poor creature in a pool of his own blood. Sedating the young predator until he passed out, you and your crew began to get to work in order to patch up the tiger temporarily at least until he could be treated properly. He was taken to a larger metropolis where more could help him. There he resided at the zoo for a good while with you as his caretaker. But after he had fully healed and he was now old enough to live on his own, it was time to release him back into the wild where he belonged. Which is why you were currently on a boat to the jungle where he had been found, you currently sat in the lowest deck with Tony.

Tony perked up when the sound of sliding metal could be heard. You stood as did Tony as well, stepping out as you watched the tiger remain fixated on a contraption that taught him how to capture his meal. The large piece of meat swung back and fourth on the hook, all around the room just as Tony took off to pounce.

Bolting the iron door shut behind you so no poor wandering sailor would stumble upon Tony. You walked away and made your way up the flight of stairs onto the main deck. Once there your fingers trailed across the railings as you watched the seemingly endless vast waves of the ocean drift in the dark of the night underneath the stars that dotted the sky above. In your hand you examined the pocket knife you had recieved from the zookeepers where Tony had stayed at. The handle was a normal steel but shiny gold colored carvings were engraved in it, depicting the faces of many different animals. From prey to predators, lions to birds, wolves to deer, etc.

It was a sweet parting gift from the kind people there. One gift you would not give up to anyone.

When the loud blasting horn from the ship you were on signaling dinner rang out, it startled you and caused you to released your grip on the pocket knife. You lunged for it. A short quiet cry emitted from your lips when you realized you had reached too far out and lost your balance. Your cry was drowned out by the horn and you tumbled into the crashing waves.

Struggling and paddling to the surface, you gasped for breath and desperately tried to call out for help. But you were slapped in the face with a wave of salty water from the moving boat, pushing you down under for a few precious moments. The taste of the waves left you gagging, but you tried swiminging towards the moving boat. Further and further away, the chance was slim of you even reaching the swift boat or even being heard over the waves and horn. Still you yelled as loud as you could, keeping yourself afloat. But no one heard you. Quickly the boat's lights receded into the darkness of the night, until they were bleached out entirely into a night as dark as ink.

You were stranded. Stranded in the middle of the ocean. With nothing. No food, no water, no mode of transportation. Just the clothes you wore and a pocket knife. You remained afloat in silence, terrified of what was to come. Until you heard a sound. A familar sound that brought a wave of relief washing over you. The sound of far away waves crashing onto a surface, a shore of some kind. You heard it, distant but it was still there. So you swam towards the sound, not quick and panicked but slow and carefully strokes to save your energy for whatever awaited you.

Slowly but surely you approached the island, and saw the silhouettes of the land. Trees, jagged rocks, and other plants. Reaching the shore, you coughed and sat up. Looking all around you for any signs of civilization, but there was none you could spot.

Then there was a cry. A cry and scream of terror and anguish, complete pain and horror. It came from deep in the darkness. It frightened you, sending a shiver down your spine. Some kind of predator must've captured another animal. You did not recognize the cry, but you did not wish to at the moment. It would be best to avoid whatever it came from.

BAM!

The echo of a shotgun rang through the land. You weren't alone.

Your exhausted form stumbled up, sand falling from your skin back to the ground. If you took one step the sands would be gone and be replaced with the thick vegetation of the dense jungles. It was not safe to stay on the shores, you could easily be spotted. So you forced yourself into the jungle past the trees.

The gunshot meant there were people around. People meant there was food bound to be around. But the people. What kind of people would reside here? Where were you? On the shores of an island or bigger piece of land?

Cautiously you walked along between the jungle and shore, watching everything with each step you took. The plants were difficult to recognize but after only a couple of minutes, you stopped in your tracks after spotting something peculiar.

It was evident that a large creature had been in some trouble. Some of the plant life was crushed and trampled, while one patch of weeds were blotched with crimson. There were deep tracks in the damp earth, leading in the direction of the jungle. The glint of a shiny object reflecting the light of the moon caught your eye. Reaching down, you plucked it from the ground. An empty cartridge. This proved there was someone here and judging by what you have just seen, it wasn’t too long ago when they stood where you are currently standing.

The shell of the cartridge was rather small compared to the large tracks of the creature that had struggled here. Whoever had the gun tried to shot a fairly large creature with a small gun. You were puzzled and concerned. What exactly happened here?

Upon closer examination, you noticed a foot print. The print of some kind of boot most likely. The print pointed towards the jungle again. You had hope now, and a good reason to enter the depths of the jungle. Eagerly you hurried along, gripping the pocket knife in case anything came at you. Occasionally stumbling over a stray log or stone popping out of the earth. But making process as an edge of the sky began to turn lavender and the sun’s rays of light peaked out ever so slightly.

Yet after walking for who knows how long, against the fading darkness you spotted a glimmer of light. Those lights multiplied as you began to jog towards them. Closer and closer you got. At first it looked like a small village, but as you stepped closer you realized it wasn’t a village but a large estate. A mansion. A giant mansion situated on top of a large precipice with cliffs surrounding most of it, the cliffs dropping down on the shores and crashing waves with jagged rocks below.

Mirage. It must’ve been a mirage! Who in their right mind would build this mansion in a jungle island in the middle of the ocean?

Yet when you reached out to touch the gate, you felt the cold steel against your fingertips. It was real. This was no mirage. Slowly tugging on the gate, the steel door creaked open and you squeezed in. The cobblestone path led you to an elevated patio, cautiously you continued until you reached the towering doors. Reluctantly you tapped at the doors, waiting for someone to answer while placing away your pocket knife.

Your ears perked up, hearing footsteps on the other side. But the door remained closed. Again you knocked twice. Only then did the door fly open and you were nearly blinded by the bright golden lights. Additionally you were met face to face with a blonde middle aged made holding a revolver pointed directly at your forehead.

"U-Uh..." You gulped before slowly raising your hands, showing you had nothing. "I don't mean to intrude, but I fell off the boat I was traveling in. I ended up here...My name is (Y/n) (L/n) from (home country)."

The man's peircing menacing gaze did not change, never allowing the revolver to falter. He had heard you, but there were many threats on this island and who knew if you were trying to trick him or not?

"Allow them in, Joe. Don't keep them standing out there in the cold!"

A young man stepped down the last remaining steps from where he had stood to listen to you introduce yourself to the man names Joe. If you had stumbled inside this mansion and spotted the man before you, you would've mistaken him for a ghost or vampire. His skin tone and hair color was a white as snow, his strange eyes were a soft pink that was the same color as his plump lips. The man dressed in a fancy attire with a white ironed shirt, tailored black pants that reached to his ankle, and brown leather shoes of high quality.

Joe lowered the revolver and stepped to the side, opening the door wide open for you. The albino man walked away from the stairs and welcomed you inside. "It's such an honor to meet you, (Miss/Mister) (L/n)!" He took your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your backhand. "I've been a fan of your work for years. Oh, where are my manners? I've yet to introduce myself. I am Dante Senguri." Dante waved off Joe who closed the door shut and walked off to the side while the albino returned his attention back on you. "I'm sorry if Joe frightened you. He's not the brightest but is the strongest, he's my guard and assistant. He's also mute. Again, sorry if he offended you in anyway."

"I see..."

"Here, I'm sure you must be fatigued after I heard what you've been through. You are just on time. Now I have you for company at dinner." The charming man smiled gently before requesting, "Joe, will you go get some extra clothes?"

Joe silently exited the room to go fulfil Dante's request. Leaving you and the albino alone for the meantime.

"They might be a tad bit large but it'll be better than your soaked clothing." Dante assured, escorting you to the giant dining hall.

The dining hall was stunning. The walls were lined and framed with antiques and portraits while a large chandelier hung from above. A fire place held the crackling flames that engulfed the pieces of wood. One side of the wall was nearly entirely stain glass with the moonlight reflecting through. In the middle of the room was a large oval shaped table surrounded by wooden chairs carved elequently and decorated with plush pillows. The table was clothed with a white linen and porcelein china was arranged neatly. Yet one thing caught your eye when you sat down on one seat and Dante pushed you in to the table.

High up on the wall above the antiques were a line of "decorations." Mounted heads of dozens of animals. Bears, buffalo, caribou, deer, lions, moose, rams, rhinoceros, tigers, wolves, etc. You scrunched up your nose in disgust and your eyes traveled further to the ivory of rhinocerous, skins and bones of tigers, tusks of elephants. All previously stated objects from animals were illegal to sell and own.

"You don't like them?" Dante inquired innocently, tilting his head in a way that matched a curious dog's mannerisms and habits.

Before you could answer, Joe walked in the room. With one hand he set down folded clothes onto a nearby chair for you to change into later. In his other hand he held a tray that carried rare and exquisite range of drinks that include wine, beer, champange, tea, coffee, etc.

"(Y/n), which drink do you prefer?" The albino questioned so Joe could serve you what you would want.

You responded with your prefered drink, and you recieved it much to your surprise. Next, you were served plates of multiple different kinds of foods. Appetizers, side dishes, the main dish, and a wide aray of desserts. Dante wasted no time in beginning his dinner, encouraging you to do the same. "Don't worry, (Y/n). Here at my home, we only eat the best. We feast like kings here. So go ahead, try something. Anything."

Hesitantly, you did. You spooned a few items onto your plate. Not able to help it, since you were starving and fatigued. As you began to dine, Dante kept the conversation going smoothly.

"Well, isn't it all divine?"

"Yes, actually. Better than anything I've ever tasted." You replied after slurping the bowl of soup you had and continuing to the other plates. Dante seemed to be a generally nice and welcoming man, yet there was one thing off about him. Whenever you happened to look up, you always found Dante gazing at you intensely...as if he was a predator and you were prey.

"Good to hear." The albino smiled, flashing his pearly teeth that were practically as white as his hair. When he finally looked away, he forked a piece of well-cooked meat and placed it on his tongue. Savoring the flavor and devouring it before he finally spoke again, "I've had something on my mind as of late, since I saw you at my door step. You must be curious about how I know you, yes? Well, ever since I was young I was fascinated with animals just as you are. Often I read your publications, articles, and books. Your work led me to my one true passion, (Y/n) (L/n), and that is hunting."

Right. Hunting. That explained all the severed animal heads and body parts decorating the walls. It took much not to utter something rude. "Of course. What a...an intriguing collection you have..." Again your eyes traveled over to the heads of the animals. One caught your eye and that was the head of an abnormally large American Bison. "That's quite a bison. I don't think I've ever seen one that large."

"Oh, that creature! Yes, he was a monster of a bison." Dante seemed pleased that you were curious in his oddities, delighted to tell you more of them. "It was nothing, that beast. Yes, it did fracture one of my bones but I took it down without anymore trouble." He smiled charmingly. He was trying to impress you, wasn't he? "The American Bison is child's play compared to other larger game. But! Here on this island, I challenge myself everday to hunt the most dangerous game of all." A glint shined in his eyes, reflecting his eagerness at the words he proclaimed to you.

The most dangerous game? What would that be? Obviously not the American Bison as stated before. Was it the large Grizzly Bears of the north? White Polar Bears of the poles? The African Rhinos with their sharp horns? Crocodiles with their wide jaws and sharp teeth? Could it be the Cape Buffalo which was widely known as the Black Death throughout Africa? Or the swift spotted Leopard? The wild maned Lion, the supposed king of the jungle? Maybe a massive and heavy hippo? The giant intelligent elephants? The common feral hog or wild boars of North America?

“The most dangerous game? So there are threatening creatures on this island?” You inquired curiously. If there actually were treacherous animals present on the land, you must have been lucky as to not run into any of them.

“The most vicious.” Dante nodded, taking a sip of the cocktail in his hand. “Only for the most prestige hunter.” Grinning confidently, referring to himself in such a boisterous manner. “Of course, I have to gather them and bring them here for the fun to begin.”

“What is it that you bring here?” Your interest was peaked. Maybe if you found out where the animals he got were from, you can prevent any more of the poor creatures being sent to this island to the slaughter. “Lions?”

Dante smiled, “No,” he said. “Lions ceases to interest me some time ago. There was no fun in hunting the felines anymore. They became predictable and repeatable, leaving me bored out of my mind. There was no thrill, no fun in it anymore. (Y/n), I live to fulfil my desires, and those desires include finding the perfect source for thrill and fun.”

It was when dinner was finished did Dante Senguri lead you through the hallways of his elaborate mansion. Allowing you to first change into something similar to what he wore, before showing you everything he had to offer. Presenting you the exhibit of rare items and objects he owned, while chatting to you.

“I invite you to join me on my hunt. It’s always been a dream of mine to have such delightful...company for the game.”

”But what is it that you-“

You were cut off by Dante who interjected, knowing full well what you were going to ask. “I’ll tell you, my fox, and only you.” Shushing you while placing a single finger in front of your lips while chirping in a cheerful and eager tone of voice, “You will be amazed, astonished even! I invented the most special and difficult way for the game of the hunt. A new sensation that sends thrills through me each time, a prey that will never get boring to hunt!”

”Alright...” You watched the albino man with suspicion and caution. Where exactly was this conversation going?

”Some men are creative. Born to be poets, authors, artists! There are some born in the luxurious life of comfort or the dirtiest slums for the beggars. Me? I was created to be the best hunter of all!” Dante exclaimed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he continued to proclaim, “When I was young, around the age of five, I was given a slingshot for my birthday. My parents expected me to shoot mockingbirds or canaries but I took down large pelicans, swans, and turkeys. They weren’t mad, they were amazed at my excellent accuracy. Then when I was only eight years old I killed my first crocodile. When I was drafted into the military it was such a boring experience, there were no animals to hunt. Yet it made me realize something later in life. I have hunted every animal known to man.”

Dante placed aside the empty glass cup, continuing to walk as he brought you along. Squeezing your shoulder lightly.

”After I got out of the army, I continued to hunt. Grizzlies in the east Rockies, Crocodiles along Africa’s rivers, Lions in the Savanna. All boring, boring, boring. I collected my belongings and left to the jungles in search of Jaguars, Ocelots, Pumas, Anacondas. Supposedly some of the most cunning and dangerous animals that reside in the Amazon. Boring. Even the newest animals were boring.” The albino sighed, “None of them stood a chance. They were no match for a hunter like me. My wits and strength was much more compared to them. It was a disappointment. I lied in my tent after hunting the puma for the fifth time, before I realized with terror that hunting was beginning to bore me! Hunting had been my life, so how was I supposed to live without the thrill of it? I did not want to break down and become a hollow version of my former self, if I lost my one passion. Don’t you feel the same?”

You thought about it for a moment. Losing your one true passion, and never getting a replacement. Losing your passion for caring and helping animals, and never getting it back. You didn’t even want to imagine that. So yes, you felt the same way. Nodding slowly in response.

Dante smiled down at you, twisting a strand of your hair between his fingers. “I have no desire to become hollow and dull. So I just had to figure out a way to spice up the hunt, there had to be a way. And there was. So I asked myself, why was the game no longer interesting? No longer thrilling or exhilarating? My fox, can you guess the answer?”

”No...I have no clue.”

”Hunting had ceased to be a challenge. It was too easy, and I always caught my prey. There is nothing more boring than perfection. No animal could provide that excitement anymore. That’s not my ego talking, that is fact. Animals have nothing but their limbs and instincts. Instinct can not compare to reason. When I realized this, I was devastated.”

You stopped in your tracks just as Dante had. Looking up at the albino, waiting for him to finish. What was his solution to his problems?

“The memories of my army days inspired me. It helped my passion to live on.”

”What was it? What in those memories inspired you?”

Dante Senguri smiled, as if overcoming the most troubling obstacles of all time and reaching his desired success. “There was one option. I had to invent a new game to hunt.”

You were absolutely baffled. A new animal? Was he insane? No one can just create a new animal! “You’re joking."

“You’re expression in amusing, my fox. But I have to tell you, I never joke about hunting. I needed a new animal. I found one. So I built this abode on the island I bought. This island is perfect with its array of jungle mazes, sloping hills, mosquito infested swamps-“

“What about the animal?”

”Oh, it provides me with the most excellent hunting in the world! No other game can compare to it. Everyday I hunt in the evenings, and I never grow bored. Because this game can match my wits and abilities.”

You blinked. No. He couldn’t be talking about...

”I aimed for the ideal game and I achieved it. Courage. Cunning. Reason. The game has it all and more to keep me entertained.”

“No animals reasons.” You interjected immediately, trying to distance yourself from the albino who simply pulled you closer.

“My precious fox, there is one that can.” He smiled at you and gently traced a finger along your cheek.

”You can’t-“

”Why not?”

”This is some sick joke.” You remarked. There was no way Dante was being serious.

“This is no joke. I am serious. It’s hunting-“

”That’s not hunting, what you’re doing is murder!” Immediately you pushed him away, you had to stay away from this murderous psychopath.

Dante laughed at your words before once again speaking to you, “I don’t wish to believe that a person as wonderful and ideal as you believes that human life is truly valuable. Surely your experiences in the wild-“

”Did not make me an insane murder with no proper logic,” You finished stiffly, standing your ground against Dante.

Dante continued to laugh, “How adorable! You really are endearing!” He gripped your shoulders, “You’re so experienced yet naive at the same time. So brave, so adventurous, so unique...You’re a diamond in the rough, a jewel among jewels! You’ll change your mind if you join me, my fox.”

”Thanks but no thanks, I’m not a murderer or a hunter, I’m a conservationist.”

”How rude.” Dante sighed sadly like a dejected child. “You turn down my generous offer and refer to me with that unappealing title. Life is for the strong, the weak are meant to perish. Weak are meant to give the strong pleasure. I am strong. I will use my gift. I will hunt anyone who washes up on my shores: Men, women, adults, children, American Natives, Asians, Africans, Hispanics, Whites...Now tell me, my treasured fox, are you the strong or the weak?”

You ignored the question and asked one of your own, “They’re humans. Have you no pity? No mercy?”

”It is precisely because they are humans. That is why I use them. They provide me thrill, fun, and pleasure. They can reason, they put up a fight, they are clever, they are dangerous.”

You had to get out of here. Aiming to knee the albino in his weakest spot, he caught your knee and scolded you. “Please, be civilized. This isn’t a bar fight, have some class.”

You stumbled back and glared at the man. “Civilized? Class? And you shoot down innocent people for fun?”

”So determined, so virtuous, so amusing~...I assure you, my fox, I treat my guests with the utmost of care and respect until their time comes. That would be horrible of me if I didn’t do so. Trust me, they receive good food and exercise until they’re in perfect game condition. You’ll see.”

”What do you mean...?”

”Tomorrow I’ll take you there. I’ll show you that they’re all right. But they’re not the most entertaining bunch. Just a few dozen, a crew mixed with Polynesians and Spanish men. Their ship crashed on my shores. Unfortunately, they’re a lesser lot. Most of them more accustomed to the decks of a boat out on the sea than compared to the green jungles. Except for a few, that is.

It’s a game. I suggest to them that we hunt. I give the prey a sack of food, a canteen of water, and a hunting knife. Then I allow them three hours to a head start while I prepare. I have only a small pistol. So if the game manages to avoid me and survive for three days, they win respectfully. But if I find them.” Dante smiled, “I win.”

”And if they refuse to participate in your ‘game’?”

“Of course I let them chose! What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t allow my guests to chose? But everyone chooses the game! No one wants to be handed over to Joe. He’s a savage that has his own ideas of fun.”

”What if they win?”

Dante smirked confidently as he mused, “Well, no one has ever bested me.” Then he added swiftly, “Don’t think me rude or cocky. I’m simply sure none of the previous prey could have won in anyway they tried. There was one man who almost won. But I had to use the hounds to secure my victory.”

He gestured to the wall, showing you a picture of the hounds. In the picture he stood in the back, in front of him sitting in a line was a large pack of dogs. Labrador Retrievers, Beagles, American Foxhounds, Pointers, English Setters, Dobermans, Rottweilers. So so many dogs that helped Dante track down his victims.

"Now I wouldn't think of taking a step outside the house, my fox. My hounds are allowed the roam at night and often drag runaways back to my doorstep." The albino man hummed and glanced at you, "Next, I'd like to show you my new collection of heads. Would you join me to the east wing?"

"Would you please excuse me for tonight, Mr. Senguri. I'm not feeling too well, and I'm exhausted."

"Ah, true..." Dante sighed as he mused, "It's only natural after you made it here. You'll need a good long sleep, and by tomorrow I hope you will feel good as new." The albino man smiled eagerly as a thought returned to his mind, "I nearly forgot to ask for your permission! I will make this simple for you. (Y/n) (L/n), you have two choices. Yes or yes? I'm terribely sorry but you, I won't allow you to have the option of Joe. I need to hunt you, you've been the object of my curiousity and admiration for years. So choose only one of the two: yes or yes?"

You gulped at the close proximity of the murderer in front of you. He smiled down at you, silently urging and pressuring you to hurry and chose.

"Come, my fox, make your choice. Yes or yes?"

Never would you say yes to his proposal! But since he refused to allow Joe to have his fun with you, maybe there would be something else you could do if you said no. Just maybe.

"Since when was I so selfish? Did I ever want something this eagerly...? Hah, you should hear that things those people say to me before the games begin. They insult me, beg for their lives, try to bribe me. Everyone is surprised at how shameless I am." Dante scratched your head ever so carefully as urged, "Go on. Come on and tell me yes. You see everything I created here? My scenario has become more daring than I thought. I'd say this plan is perfect for my objectives. Now, I don't care what others may say about me. But you better tell me yes."

"What if-"

"No. I'll stop you there." Again he shushed you by placing a finger in front of your lips. "I don't want to hear it unless you are accepting. I have decided yes. Now it's time to hear your answer. I want you to mean it, don't guess. Be serious about your reply, don't ask a question. Don'e give me that unsure side-to-side, I want that confident up-and-down. There shouldn't be any n's or o's in your response. I'll erase them from today, so there's no need to think for too long, my precious fox. The answer is, repeat after me: yes."

Slowly you lowered your hands, slowly reaching into your pocket behind your back so Dante would not see what you were holding. "Alright..." You sighed out, staring up at the albino's surprised but delighted expression.

"Alright, what?~" Dante cooed, "Let me hear a clear answer, my fox."

"Alright...I refuse!" Slipping the knife into your hands you aim the knife at his heart, about to plunge the weapon into his heart. Yet his quick reflexes and surperior strength caught the knife in his hands.

Never did Dante Senguri stop smiling as he plucked the knife out of your grip and examined it, "What a pretty weapon you have here..." His eyes trailed back to you, "I'll give it back to you at a later time." With that said he slipped the knife into his pocket. "You know, (Y/n), you inspired me and puzzled me when I first began reading your works. You bring out my hidden selfishness, I didn't even know I had until you showed up. Your eyes and my curiosity about you, make my heart burn up. My heart is burning burning burning with passion and desire. So you better hurry, my little fox, I'm beginning to get impatient."

The loud chiming and ticking of the grandfather clock caught both your and Dante's attention. It told the time, displaying XII. Meaning it was midnight.

”To make it simple, whatever you choose, you will be with me.” Dante said simply, without a moment’s hesitation. He smiled before adding, “I just want your consent, it would be ungentlemen like of me if I didn’t. I’ll wait as long as it takes, I’ll keep you until you accept. It may seem a bit absurd, and you might say I’m insisting you. But you won’t regret it if you accept...Here, go on and rest now. It’s late and you need your beauty sleep, I suppose it’ll give you time to overthink my proposal, my precious fox.”

”I...I bid you goodnight.” You immediately took off, trying to ignore Dante’s raised accented voice behind you growing distant with each step you took.

”It saddens me you can’t join tonight.” Called out the albino man. “I’m expecting an interesting game this night—a big and strong Polynesian native. He appears capable and clever!—Good night, my fox, I hope you dream of your thrilling future here.”

Retreating to the room and as soon as you were inside, you closed the doors shut. You were exhausted so you did the only thing you could do, rest. Changing into silk pajamas left behind, you then lied on the plush bed. Twisting and turning, over and over, your eyes wide open. You couldn’t get a wink of sleep out of fear and anxiousness. When you heard footsteps out of your guest room followed by a clicking, you stealthily made your way to the door. Twisting the knob, it refused to open. You went to the window and looked out past the glass panes, realizing you were on the second floor. Maybe you could get down to the ground safely, if it wasn’t for a pair of Dante’s hounds gazing up at you expectantly. Slowly you went back and lied down, curling up under the sheets as you hugged yourself. Again and again you tried to achieve some sleep, yet just when it seemed as if you would finally catch a few z’s, the sound of a pistol rang out faintly from the dense jungles.

That next day, Dante Senguri did not make his appearance until late that evening. He dressed himself in an ironed black shirt, with a blue coat over that, black tailored pants, and polished brown shoes. Immediately the albino man found himself concerned with your well being.

“Oh, my night? Well to put it simply, it was terrible.” Dante sighed as he sat beside you in the dining hall, “I’m troubled, my fox. Last night I was beginning to get the slightest feeling of boredom.” Then he smiled at you, “But you can chase all those unwanted stultifying feelings for me.” While taking a second serving of waffles he continued explaining his troubles of last night. “You see, last night’s game was not as good as I originally had hoped. The man lost his head. He left a boring trail in his wake that offered no challenges, trying to confuse me by going in circles, the imbecile! The thing is, those too long on a ship lose their sense when it comes to land navigation. They preform repeating and common tactics that are most annoying!”

He really was annoyed by that...

Dante glanced at you before kindly offering, “Would you like another serving, my fox?”

”Mr. Senguri, I’d like to leave this island at once.”

The hunter sighed, seemingly hurt by your words. “Why would I ever let you go? You’ve been the best company I’ve ever had. Beside, my precious fox, you’ve only just arrived yesterday. You haven’t even gone with me to hun-“

“I want to leave today. I have important business, sir.” You seethed, staring into Dante’s red eyes filling with irritation before that emotion was suddenly gone and replaced with some positive feeling but twisted thought.

At first he remained silent as he placed another serving onto your plate. A smile curled at his lips. “Tonight,” said the hunter, “we will hunt, you and I, my precious fox.”

You shook your head no. “No, sir. I will not hunt.”

"I am not sure what you’ll choose, so I prepared these options. You may choose only one of the two: Yes or Yes? I am not sure what you want, so I prepared those options. Make your choice, my fox, come on. Yes or yes?" The man mused as he admired you, "Maybe not, maybe yes, make it more clearly. Show me how you feel, dear. Open your ears. Don’t you hear it? Its simple. Like stated previously, you will only be my game. None other’s. I am always serious when it comes to the matter of hunting. You really are an inspiration. I drink to you, (Y/n) (L/n), my precious fox, to an opponent finally worthy of my skill--at last!" Dante raised a glass in the air, but you merely sat and stared at him. "Trust me, dear, you'll find this game well worth playing." He smiled eagerly as he continued, "You against me, skillful versus skillful. Your brain against mine. Your strength against mine. Think of it as an extreme game of outdoor chess. And the stakes will be high, wouldn't you say?"

"And if I win-"

"I'll finally acknowledge a defeat, the first one in my books. That is, if you can stay alive until midnight on the third night." Placing the glass down, "IF you do happen to win, Joe will escort you to a mainland port." He saw the doubt clouding your eyes, "Fret not, my fox, I always keep my word. Always. Respectfully, if you lose you will stay here on this island. Do we have a deal?"

"...No-"

"Too bad! I've already decided for you!" He turned to glance at his assistant, "Joe, will supply you with the proper outfit, food, and...oh, I nearly forgot." Fishing the knife out of his pocket, he placed it in your hands, curling your fingers around the weapon and gently tapping your knuckles. "Your knife, my fox. Mustn't forget that. Oh, another thing!" He stood straight as he warned you with a sad frown, "I advise you avoid the swamps of the southeast. There's quicksand there. One imbecile tried to cross and got stuck along with one of my hounds named Max. You can only imagine my feelings, dear. Max was my most beloved and prized hound...Well, pardon me, my fox. I always take a nap after my lunch, I would love if you joined me but I imagine you'd want to begin your head start. Don't worry, I won't follow until dusk. Hunting is much more exciting at night than the day, don't you think?" Dante Senguri smiled and bowed to you before taking his leave, "Good luck, my fox. Don't disappoint me~"

From another door entered Joe carrying a set of simple black clothing and a sack of food.

You fought your way through the dense jungle and underbrush until the sun began to set, leaving the sky shifting to a dark colored palette. You had to think of something! Some way to help your survive! Yes, you had created a complicated trail, it wouldn't be enough to throw of that murder. You knew that much, at least. At first a wave of panic and horror hit you as the gates closed behind you and you were left alone. But know, you were beginning to gain courage as you devised up tactical plans to best Dante Senguri. Surely if you continued straight, you run in with the sea. That wouldn't help. So you continued with leaving behind confusing tracks, much like foxes did.

When night overcame the island, you had scratches and bruises but you continued on. Eventually, you stopped. It would be insane to continue in the dark while Dante was probably beginning his sick little game. Plus, now you needed to rest after leaving those twists and turns of trails behind. "I've played the fox, now I-I...need to act as the cat." You concluded that as the best option as you discovered a large tree nearby.

With its thick base and multiple large branches spread out covered with leaves, it would be sure to provide temporary cover. So you climbed the large tree and took the opportunity to stretch out and rest on the large branches.

Even that damned hunter Dante Senguri could not track you here, surely. Only a demon, the devil himself, could follow such a complicated trial through the brush after dark.

...

A quiet night rested on the island but sleep refused to grace you. Hours passed when the sky began changing to a gray hue, you nearly fell off the limb of the tree when the frightened squaking of a bird startled you. It came from some steps away on your left. Something was coming, slowly but cautiously, coming the same way you had come from. You stuck to the large branch, flatening yourself to the surface and through the ticket of leaves, you watched intensely...And that figure of something approaching was of a man.

It was Dante Senguri. He made his way along, utmost concentrated on the ground before him as he stepped forward. Suddenly he halted his steps almost right underneath the branch you lied on, dropping to his knees and studying the ground. You wanted to pounce on him like a panther, but you retrained youself once you saw the automatic pistol in his pale hands.

As if puzzled, the albino man shook his head. He stood and straightened his posture, while you held your breath and remained as still as possible. Inch by inch, Dante's red eyes traveled up the tree. Searching for an obvious sign. His sharp eyes stopped before they reached your branch, a smile spread over his lips. Almost deliberately he mused, "What a cunning little fox..." He turned his back on the tree and carelessly walked away, back along the trail he had come from. The crushing of plant life underneath his boots grew fainter and fainter until you could no longer hear him at all.

You finally breathed, allowing all the pent up air to go out as soon as you could no longer hear him. The first thought that came to your mind made you feel sick and extremely concerned. Dante could follow a trail through the woods at night, much like a hound. Secondly, you did not want to believe that Dante was so good and so confident when it came to hunting, that the man knew he was there on the tree...The albino was playing around with you! The thought made you shudder. Why else had Dante smiled and said those words? Why else would he turn back? The evidence was there and the truth was clear.

When the sun's rays pushed throught the morning mist, you realized that Dante was saving you for more entertainment for another day. He wanted his fun, he did not wish to be disappointed. The albino was the predator, you were the prey. It was then that you experienced the true meaning of terror.

"I can't lose, I can't...I still have so much I want to do, I can't die or stay here."

Sliding down from the tree, you resumed the chase and headed towards the woods. Your mind was set and you forced the machinery of your mind to function. A few hundred yards away you stopped at a large dead tree leaning on a smaller living one. Placing the sack of food to the side, you unsheathed your knife and began to get to work.

When the job was done, you rested behind a fallen log about a hundred feet away or so. Close enough to see yet at the same time far enough to let you bolt in the worse case scenario. You did not have to wait long for the predator returned to find and play with the prey.

Coming up the trail with the sureness of a bloodhound came Dante Senguri. Nothing escaped those piercing red eyes, no crushed blade of grass, no bent twig, no mark no matter how faint. So dedicated was the albino to his stalking that he was upon the contraption you made before he noted it. His foot touched the protruding bough that was the trigger. Even as he touched it, the man sensed the danger and leaped back with swift agility. But he was not quick enough, for the dead tree which had been delicately adjusted on the cut living one collapsed onto the albino. Striking him with a blow on the shoulder, but if it weren't for his caution or swiftness he would have been crushed underneath the contraption you created. He staggered but did not fall, continuing to grip on the pistol in hand. He stood there, rubbing his now injured shoulder as a grin creeped onto his features.

The man laughed loudly. "(Y/n)!" He called out, looking around for any sign of you as he continued to grin. "Very nice! Very very nice! I applaud your attempt, it was wonderfully done! If it weren't for the knowledge I have and my wits, you would have caught me! You are proving much much more interesting than I originally imagined, my fox! Please, do keep it up! I'll be gone only but a moment to have my wound treated, it'll be a moment. I'll return, my dear. I'll come back for you."

When the albino man had took his leave, you resumed the chase once again. The contraption remained collapsed on the dirt ground. You stared at it before continuing. If it weren't for Cleo, a jaguar who had nearly been crushed by the same contraption a few years ago, you may have been at a dead end. The feline was severely injured and you were tasked with caring for her after the incident, there you had examined the trap that had harmed her. The Malay Mancatcher, a trap used mainly in Southeast Asia. The same trap you used against Dante Senguri.

You continued the trail for hours until darkness came. But you still continued on. The ground gew softer, the vegetation grew denser, and the insects bit constantly. Then as you took another step forward, your foot sank in some ooze. When you tried to wrech it back, the muck stuck like glue keeping your foot in place. With violent effort you got your foot loose, now knowing that you were in the swamp Dante had warned you about.

You looked down, the softness of the earth had bestowed an idea upon you. Stepping back about a dozen feet or so from the quicksand, you began to dig into the damp earth. Digging digging diggning until the hole reached well above your shoulders, you climed out and searched for pieces of wood. You gathered them and sharpened them like knives to fine points, carving them into stakes. Carefully you slid back into the hole and planted the stakes inside with the points sticking up before climbing out. With nimble fingers you wove a carpet of weeds, branches, and blades of grass that would cover the mouth of the pit. Finally, sweat covered and tired, you rested behind a lightening charred tree.

You knew well that Dante Senguri was approaching, you could hear the padding of his feet on the soft ground and you detected the scent of his perfume wafting through the air. Yet somthing was off. He was coming faster with unusual swiftness, no longer looking to the trails for guidance. You waited and waited, you could not see them...Finally when you heard the sharp crackle of the breaking branches as the cover of the pit gave away, hearing the sharp scream of pain as the stakes found their mark. You wanted to leap for joy, but you stayed put. When you peeked past the tree, you reeled back only to see Dante holding a lanturn above the pit.

The Burmese tiger pit. Another trap introduced to you in unfortunate circumstances. Tigger the tiger was an older feline who had been trapped in the Burmese tiger pit. The poor creature fell in and was forgotten, nearly bleeding to death because of the stake stuck in his side. You were there when he had to be sedated and pulled out, you were there to see the pit and hear how it was bulit. Another trap you used against Dante Senguri.

"You've amazed me yet again, my clever fox. But must you have done this to one of my favorite pets?" He sighed softly, "Poor Bailey, fallen into a Burmese tiger pit...That's unfortunate. Again, my dear, you score.........Hm...I wonder how you will stand against my entire pack? I'm going home for a rest now. Thank you for the most amusing evening."

At daybreak you began to stir awake, you found yourself lying against the truck of the charred tree not far from the Burmese tiger pit. But what made you wake was a sound. A sound that made you learn that you had new things to learn about fear. It was a distant sound, faint but definitely there, and you recognized what it was. It was the baying of a pack of hounds.

You had two choices. You could stay where you were and try to fight back, which was basically suicide. Or you could flee which would only postpone the danger. For a moment you stood there, allowing the ideas to flow through until one wild dangerous idea crossed your mind. Hesitantly you gripped your belt and made your way away from the swamp.

The barking of the hounds drew nearer and nearer with each passing minute, giving you less time to think. Climbing a tall tree, you looked out to see a far away figure of Dante alongside the tall and big build of Joe holding the leashes of all the hounds.

They would discover you any minute now. Your mind worked quickly as you thought up a native trick you learned in Uganda. On your way sliding down a tree, you snatched a branch and fastened it to your knife. With the blade pointing down the trail, with a bit of vines you tied the branch back. Then you ran. Running as fast as you can. The hounds barked louder once they detected he fresh scent. You now know how a hunted animal feels.

You had to stop to breath, using your arm on a tree to support your weight. Yet the hounds stopped abruptly, and your heart stopped too. They must have reached the knife...

Eagerly you climbed the nearest tree to see what the results were. Looking back through the leaves, you saw that there was no movement. They had stopped. Yet your soared hopes had plummeted and crashed once you saw the figure of Dante Senguri still standing. But Joe was not. Joe was not as fortunate. The knife, driven by the recoil of the branch had not hit its intended target but plunged into another man.

The hounds sniffed the body of the large man, pressing their snouts against the corpse. Dante snatched up the leashes and clapped, “Well done! Magnificent! Possibly even superb! You truly are the perfect game!! So much trill, so much fun, so much adrenaline rush!”

You hardly tumbled to the ground when the pack of hounds began to howl and bark again, resuming the chase.

“Shit, shit, shit!” You panted, dashing through a blue gap between two trees dead ahead. Ever nearer drew the hounds. Past the trees was the shore of the sea. Twenty feet below the sea rumbled and hissed, crashing against the jagged rocks. You hesitated, jump or stay. The sound of the hounds encouraged you to jump, and you did-before the jaw of a pointer had locked onto your ankle. Your scream of pain and frantic cries were nothing to the hounds who pulled you away from the edge with their teeth.

A sharp whistle cut them off, making them unhinge their canines from your skin and sit patiently with wagging tails. You were dragged away from the ledge, far enough so you couldn’t run and jump. When you looked up you met the confident and pleased gaze of Dante Senguri.

“Checkmate.” A smirk formed at his lips as he pointed a gun at you. “I must say, very well played, (Y/n). You’ve gifted me with the best time of my life.”

Choose only one of the two: Yes or yes?

”I’ve never felt so alive...! You have not a single clue how delighted I am at this very moment.”

Make your choice. Come on, my darling fox. Yes or yes?

”I’ll most definitely keep you around. Our conversations, your company, your skill, has provided me with far greater pleasure to me than anything else in the world!”

Take your pick, the choice is up to you.

”I will say no to your no, is it me or us?” He pressed the pistol against your heart, “I respect your choice but reject your rejection. There is only one answer, the choice is up to you. It’s all up to you, my precious fox.” Giving you a gentle smile as he caressed your cheek with his free hand, “Make your choice~ Come on, yes or yes?”

#yandere #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere guy #yandere male #yandere hunter #yandere author #yandere scenario #yandere oneshot #yandere writing #yandere imagines #yancore #shiny-jr

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starfxckersinc · 4 years

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You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but what's up with the Courtney Love controversy? Why are people accusing her of manipulation or whatever? I'm totally new to this discussion

hey darling!! no worries, I love discussing Kurt & Court bc theyre my surrogate parents and they emotionally raised me when I had a difficult relationship w my Mom and Dad, plus I’m named after Kurt and he’s part of the reason I realized my ~gender~, so needless to say I have a surplus of information on them. Plus their music fucks. anyways, this is gonna be a masterpost-

my credentials(sources I have taken my information and formed my opinion on Kurt & Court’s relationship from if u need to look into them):

-Heavier Than Heaven(Book by Charles Cross, authorized by Kurt’s estate. Charles Cross is a well known grunge/music historian and has literally devoted his life to researching and writing rockstar biographies, including several on Nirvana. One of my favorite books ever.)

- Montage Of Heck(Documentary on Kurt’s life. Produced by his daughter, Frances. I have some heavy criticisms of this film and of the interviews in it, but it does have some reflections on Kurt and Courtney’s relationship that I think are important.)

- Hit So Hard(a documentary on Hole’s drummer, Patty Schemel. Minor discussions of Kurt and Kurt and Courtney.)

- Verse Chorus Verse(Fan-made documentary series on Kurt’s life, widely regarded by Nirvana fans the most in depth play-by-play biography that exists- and it’s free on YouTube, which is lit.)

sources I don’t pull from, but many younger Nirvana fans do(the people who buy into the conspiracies generally):

Kurt and Courtney- A documentary made in the late 90’s under the guise of biography, but is actually about the conspiracy theory that Courtney killed Kurt. I saw it when I was a new fan and I literally laughed out loud from how apeshit it was.

Soaked In Bleach- ‘Biopic’ about Courtney killing Kurt. I haven’t seen it but straight men who think Courtney is ugly take it more seriously than the Bible. Very little truth ever goes into these theories, besides maybe names and dates.

Anything Hank Harrison(Courtney’s father) has to say- He wrote a book on the subject. He also gave her acid and lost custody of her when she was three years old. He’s a shit parent and I doubt he’s actually seen his daughter since the 80’s.

Anything Buzz Osborne(Kurt’s friend, singer for the Melvins, a band Kurt looked up to in Montesano) says- I think Buzz’s opinion is taken way too seriously by a lot of the fan base, I read an interview of his criticizing Montage Of Heck because Kurt ‘didn’t really have a stomach disease’ and was just lying about it to get high, and also about how he hated having to see Courtney naked, and made a good long point about how disgusting her body is. IOn top of all that(none of which really has to do with critiquing the film...?), he mocked Kurt and called him a loser for committing suicide. I don’t care what your opinion on his stomach, his wife, or his music is, that shit is callous and idiotic, but totally reflective of the 70’s and 80’s mentality regarding the mentally ill. He’s part of the legion of pretentious punk dudes who *kind of* knew Kurt, who think Courtney’s the one who ‘corrupted’ him, which brings me around to answering your question.

So, there’s this idea regarding Kurt and Courtney’s relationship, which is pretty similar to the one surrounding Sid and Nancy’s(or at least used to.) Courtney is the whiny, annoying, petulant bitch who attached herself to the first trophy she could find, and through her terrible manipulative personality kept him with her and kept him from getting better. In this mode of thinking, She’s also the person who ‘started’ him on drugs, and in a few people’s eyes, the person who ‘forced’ him to have Frances.

The reality of the situation, as I see it, as someone who’s gone to pretty decent lengths to inform themselves on the subject, is that Kurt and Courtney’s relationship was toxic: But the toxicity was mutual. This doesn’t mean they were a “problematic” couple, or that they were abusing each other, or even that either one of them was ‘evil’, it means that they fell deeply in love as young trauma survivors with substance abuse issues and huge ambitions. That’s a lot to put on any relationship and it’s a lot to talk about, so I’m gonna split this into categories of complaints that you’ll hear pretty routinely as a new Nirvana/Hole fan.

1. “She got him into drugs!”

Courtney started on heroin in the late 80’s in L.A., when she was still playing with Sugar Baby Doll(her band with Jennifer Finch and Kat Bjelland). Kurt, as said in Heavier Than Heaven, tried heroin for the first time around 1988-1989(I don’t remember exactly.) At the time, he was still living with(though I don’t believe they were still dating) Tracy Marander. Because he was destitute, he didn’t have enough money to start forming an actual habit until Nevermind started gaining speed, and by the time he and Courtney started dating(they met a couple of times and phoned a couple of times before cementing a relationship) he had been taking it for a while. That’s the thing I think people look over when it comes to Kurt- He was embarrassed about his addiction and he hated the physical side effects, but he loved heroin.

Courtney says in Montage Of Heck that she had both tried and kicked heroin by the time she met Kurt, but I think the Heavier Than Heaven description is probably more accurate: That she did heroin socially, and her addiction worsened after the two of them began living together because Kurt was(in her own words) ‘obsessed with oblivion.’ She also said in Montage Of Heck that his dream was to ‘Get to three million dollars and become a junkie.’ She’s stated several times that her drug problems came out of a need for ‘comfort’, and Kurt was into getting so fucked he couldn’t do anything else(also confirmed by his friend, Dylan Carlson, who was also into heroin and did it with him often.)

On top of that, Courtney was the one who orchestrated interventions for Kurt, went through the process of reviving him when he’d overdosed, and broke his syringes/scared off his dealers to try and keep drugs away from him as much as possible. At one point, she even made a rule that no drugs were to be done in the house- So he started renting motel rooms and doing them there. It was she who was the head of his final intervention before he went missing.

If anything, Courtney is the person who tried her hardest to keep drugs away from both of them. Considering how much people still talk about her doing heroin while pregnant(which occurred very early on before she was aware of her condition), Kurt is the person who struggled the most to stay off drugs during her pregnancy and after Frances’ birth, even going so far as to hide in the bathroom from her while she was struggling with morning sickness so she wouldn’t know he was getting high.

2. “She manipulated him into dating her/marrying her!”

Here’s the thing about Courtney; She is an enigmatic, entertaining, talented, maternal individual. Here’s the thing about Kurt; He’s a shy, quiet, non-confrontational guy with mommy issues. There’s been a lot of discussion on how Courtney was ‘obsessed’ with Kurt, and how she wouldn’t rest until she pinned him down: That’s untrue, or at least it reads less like crazy-bitch-steals-rock-god and more like cute-singer-has-crush-on-fellow-cute-singer. She was really into him, but when she met him she was still dating Billy Corgan, which deterred her from pursuing him until that relationship(basically) dissolved. When Kurt met her, he had just gotten out of a relationship with Tobi Vail, which most likely fell apart because she refused to be what Tracy Marander had been for him. She wasn’t interested in caring for him and she wasn’t interested in a full-time monogamous relationship. She was working too hard at her own career and was way too involved in the burgeoning riot grrrl movement to worry about looking after Kurt Cobain. That just wasn’t going to work for him.

Kurt was a big believer in the nuclear family model, he was very monogamous, and besides that he lacked the ability to physically take care of himself. If he wasn’t living with a partner who would clean up the house and remind him to wash his hair, it just didn’t happen. He was chronically ill, depressed, and he’d spent most of his adolescence AWOL from anyone who would actually raise him, so Tobi’s rejection deeply hurt him for a number of reasons- While Courtney, the opposite of Tobi in a few key ways, was exactly what he wanted. On top of looking like the archetypical punk girl, “I was attracted to her because she looked like Nancy Spungen,” she had a maternal streak (In Montage Of Heck, when he’s found sitting beside her while she cuts his hair, and, typical for people living with Kurt, mentions that she cleans the house because ‘nobody else fuckin does.’) Early on in their relationship, Kurt had a meltdown and begged Courtney to come to his apartment. She did, and looked after him the rest of the night, a pattern which would become common for them, and was stated by her half sister to be the ‘original strain on the relationship.’

Besides her mothering elements, Courtney was brassy and loud, and her presence allowed him to be less introverted and freer with himself. She was an ambitious young musician who shared a similar childhood to him, and had the same yearning for a safe home life that he did. She was well-read and artistic, and introduced him to the literary side of music creation, which he hadn’t explored yet. After spending a night on the phone with her, he went around telling everybody she was ‘the coolest girl in the world,’ and broke off another burgeoning relationship with Mary Lou Lord on live TV after spending the night with her. The famous quote, “Courtney Love is the best fuck in the world.” is in fact real. And yeah, he could’ve handled that one better.

The attraction was mutual, and I find it hard to believe that Kurt was ever forced into anything romantic with her based on how well she suited his tastes.

3. “She used him for his fame/money!”

As stated above, Courtney was attracted to Kurt before Nevermind was even recorded, and if she wanted to marry a famous dude right out the gate, at the time they met there were plenty of people who were way more famous than Kurt. In Heavier Than Heaven she mentions really liking their song “Dive,” and later in life she mentioned hearing “Sliver” and being impressed with Kurt’s writing abilities. Both of those songs were released a solid two years before Nevermind. She was interested in Kurt because he was cute and talented and she was savvy in the music scene, meaning that she kept up with underground bands.

Now, a point of contention between Kurt & Courtney was their different attitudes towards fame. That is entirely true. Courtney wanted to be famous, enjoyed celebrity, loved attention, and could handle touring, press, and the craziness of success. She was very charismatic, very physically strong, and let’s face it, definitely an attention whore. Kurt liked being praised, he liked being successful, and he definitely had a thing for attention- But he hated pressure, he had inferiority issues, he didn’t know how to handle his life being pried into all the time, and he wasn’t strong enough to do massive tours. Courtney just didn’t understand that, which is pretty common if someone doesn’t share your same mental illness/physical illness: Touring hurt Kurt’s stomach, it worsened his anxiety and emotional instability, it wore his body out, it didn’t agree with him. He loved playing live but couldn’t handle the mania or the travelling, meaning he didn’t mind blowing off huge tours that would bring in loads of money. Courtney, who did feel envious and intimidated regarding his success, would get angry at him for that- She didn’t want him to blow off massive paychecks and press coverage because it’s not what she would’ve done. I definitely side with Kurt on this, nothing is more frightening and frustrating than people trying to force you to do things you can’t handle health-wise. Courtney, being naturally business-oriented, was also aware of how things appeared to the public, and definitely cared about their image more than Kurt did- One of their fights revolved around her nagging him about how important the “Heart-Shaped Box” music video would be for him, and how he should look good. He reacted by stubbing out a cigarette on his forehead and saying, “Do I look fucking good enough for you now?”

So yeah, Courtney, like a lot of people in Kurt’s life, was all about furthering his career and success. A lot of people read that as her being money-hungry or manipulative, in my opinion it’s just a natural response from a person who’s spent their whole life trying to be a success and wouldn’t really get there until 1994. I think some of it was envy and I think some of it was her using him a little vicariously, neither of which are healthy but neither of which are malicious, either. She wanted to be a rockstar, she was ready to be a rockstar, she wasn’t; He thought he’d wanted to be a rockstar, he didn’t really want to, he was.

4. “She emotionally abused him!”

I hate to say this because I love Kurt so much but, as someone who’s been through a codependent relationship where they were bailing water out of a sinking boat, Kurt’s behavior throughout their marriage set off way more red flags for me than Courtney’s did. I don’t think he was actually abusive, but I do think he was a little too underdeveloped and unresolved to be married to someone. He had to grow up slower than everyone else because he missed out on having concrete mature influences, which Courtney did as well, and like I said earlier I think a lot of their problems came through a lack of adult communication skills. Both of them were really jealous people: Courtney couldn’t stand Kurt talking about Mary Lou Lord or Tobi Vail, Kurt was completely convinced that Courtney was cheating on him with Billy Corgan(even going so far as to talk to their lawyer about a divorce shortly before he died.) This was the catalyst for a lot of mind games and unnecessary drama, especially coming from Kurt.

Kurt couldn’t handle conflict. He was really passive aggressive, and would do things to purposely piss Courtney off or communicate to her that he was displeased. While she was trying to stay clean he would declare that he was going to do drugs in the apartment, when she started talking to a psychic to help her with her problems he mocked her and put her down, when she staged his final intervention his entire argument against rehab was that she was just as ‘fucked up’ as he was(she had already agreed to go into rehab, though whether he was aware of this or not I’m not sure.) He made his first suicide attempt by overdosing on Rohypnol on their wedding anniversary because she took some pills and fell asleep and he decided that meant she wasn’t interested in him anymore. I’m not arguing that that’s an irrational response to your partner getting stoned and falling asleep, especially when he’d apparently set the night up to be as romantic as possible, but the overdose put him in a coma and sent Courtney into hysterics.

Her mental health began to decline due to paranoia that he’d end up dead, and her weight dropped due to the added stress. As someone who’s been through a pretty similar situation to that and exhibited the same symptoms, I can tell you that it is never okay to use a suicide attempt to deal with a perceived injustice from your partner. By this time, Kurt was facing either getting clean or dying, and his behavior was very depressed and erratic, so there are explanations for the way he was acting and I don’t think he was trying to manipulate her with a threat. Despite my understanding of that, there is nothing more exhausting than being the caretaker of someone who is hellbent on never getting better. I can’t imagine being the caretaker of someone who won’t stop until they’re dead, and I do think at that point it would’ve been better for them to separate.

But that isn’t to say Courtney wasn’t toxic herself, I’m not trying to paint a wholly negative image of Kurt here. I’m merely trying to stand in the way of Nirvana fanboys who have no grasp on the more sickly sides of his personality, and give Court a bit of a break. Definitely, she struggled with her jealousy: As stated, she never wanted his ex girlfriends mentioned around her and would tear them apart if they were. She was ambitious and career driven, which eroded a lot of her platonic relationships/working relationships as well her marriage to Kurt. She was one of the people who was pushing him to recover in time to play Lollapalooza, and she was one of the people who pushed him into his last stunted tour before his death. She weaponized his relationship with Frances in ways that I and most people agree are gross: She told him he should be playing massive gigs to support his daughter(though their medical and legal bills were big they were hardly poverty stricken), and admitted in an interview later that she called him in rehab once to tell him he’d dropped Frances on her head(She mentioned during this that Frances was wearing a furry hood, and that he didn’t hurt her. In my opinion he was doing his best by even trying rehab again, and that he was already so worried that he was a terrible father that it was just cruel to make him feel worse.)

She has a tendency to be self-obsessed, and to put her own self interest before people she cares about, even if she regrets it later. She struggles herself with mental illness and addiction, both of which tend to give a person poor judgment regarding the people they care about.

Once again, Courtney and Kurt weren’t a healthy couple, but it wasn’t because they were evil or abusive towards one another. They cared for each other deeply, they had a very pure devotion. Underlying all this nastiness were two people who prayed together, wrote together, fantasized about a Valentine’s Day wedding, and faxed each other R-rated love letters like modern versions of James Joyce and Nora Barnacle. During one of his more successful stints in rehab, Kurt wrote Courtney love letters every night(though he did decorate them with blood, wax, and semen.)

They had some serious therapy they needed to attend, the both of them. But 90% of these demonizations of Courtney are either untrue or blown out of proportion.

#aberdeen spoken word #ik this runs on so much but i love talking abt this shit and i didnt #want to spend tomorrow editing bc i have other shit i need to do so #have a basically unedited essay on my parents fndndfn

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ongames · 7 years

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This Is What Obamacare's Critics Won't Admit Or Simply Don't Understand

THOUSAND OAKS, California ― Maryann Hammers is likely to die from ovarian cancer someday. But she hopes someday won’t come anytime soon.

Hammers, 61, received the diagnosis in late 2013, and doctors told her that it was stage 3-C, which meant that she could live for many years with the right treatment and a little luck. So far, she’s had both. She’s in remission for the second time, and her last course of chemotherapy ended a year and a half ago. But recent blood tests detected elevated levels of a protein associated with tumors, she explained when we met a few weeks ago. “Maybe it’s a fluke,” she said. “I hope so. I kinda feel like the clock is ticking.”

If the cancer is back, Hammers said, she may need surgery similar to her two previous operations — “gigantic surgeries, gutted like a fish and hospitalized for many days.” Chemotherapy would likely come next, plus medication, hospitalization, and home care. But Hammers considers herself lucky because she’s been able to get treatment at City of Hope, a highly respected Southern California cancer research and treatment center, and luckier still that she’s been able to pay for the treatment with insurance — an Anthem Blue Cross policy she bought through Covered California, the exchange her state created under the Affordable Care Act.

To hear President Donald Trump, House Speaker Paul Ryan and other Republicans tell it, Obamacare has been a disaster, even for those who obtained coverage through the law. Hammers has a very different perspective. She’s a freelance writer and editor, which means she has no employer-provided insurance. In the old days, if she’d gone shopping for a policy with her cancer diagnosis, she would have struggled to find a carrier willing to sell her one.

I'm terrified. ... Do you know how easy it is to use a million dollars when you're getting cancer treatment? Maryann Hammers, Thousand Oaks, California

And it’s not just the pre-existing condition guarantee, which even critics like Trump say they support, that Hammers has found so valuable. The Affordable Care Act requires insurers to cover a wide range of services and treatments — which, in her case, has included multiple shots of Neulasta, a medication that boosts white blood cell counts and typically costs several thousand dollars per injection. The law also prohibits annual or lifetime limits on benefits, which, as a long-term cancer patient, she would be a prime candidate to exceed.

Policies with such robust coverage inevitably cost thousands of dollars a year, more than Hammers could afford on her own — particularly since battling the disease has cut into her work hours. But the law’s generous tax credits discount the premiums and help with the out-of-pocket costs, too. “Without the Affordable Care Act, I honestly do not know what I would have done,” she said.

The coverage Hammers has today still isn’t as good as what she had years ago, when she worked for a company that provided benefits. But it’s better than what she had in the years right before the cancer diagnosis, when she was buying insurance on her own. The latter plan covered fewer services and came with out-of-pocket costs high enough to discourage her from getting checkups. Obamacare’s introduction of free preventive screenings led her to schedule a long-overdue colonoscopy. During routine preparation for that procedure, a physician first felt a lump in her abdomen.

Sometimes Hammers wonders whether, with less sporadic doctor visits, the cancer might have been caught a little sooner. “But I couldn’t afford a fat doctor’s bill. And I thought I was super healthy.”

These days, something else looms even larger in her mind — the possibility that Trump and the Republican Congress will repeal the health care law without an adequate replacement, or maybe with no replacement at all.

“I’m terrified — isn’t that crazy?” Hammers said. “My biggest source of stress right now isn’t the fact that I have incurable cancer. It’s the prospect of losing my insurance.”

What American Health Care Used To Look Like

To appreciate the significance of stories like Hammers’ and what they say about the Affordable Care Act, it helps to remember what used to happen to people like her before the law took effect. By 2009, when President Barack Obama took office, roughly 1 in 6 Americans had no health care insurance, and even the insured could still face crippling medical bills. As a reporter covering health care during those years, I met these people. Some of their stories stand out, even now, because they capture the old system at its callous, capricious worst.

Gary Rotzler, a quality engineer at a defense contractor in upstate New York, lost his family coverage in the early 1990s when he lost his job. He ended up uninsured for two years, while he juggled stints as an independent contractor. His wife, Betsy, made do without doctor visits even after she started feeling some strange pains. By the time she got a checkup, she had advanced breast cancer. Desperate efforts at treatment failed. After she died, Gary, a father of three, had to declare bankruptcy because of all the unpaid medical bills.

Jacqueline Ruess, a widow in south Florida, thought she was insured. But then she needed expensive tests when her physicians suspected she had cancer. Although the tests were negative, the insurer refused to pay the bills because, it said, a brief episode of a routine gynecological problem in her past qualified as a pre-existing condition.

Tony Montenegro, an immigrant from El Salvador living in Los Angeles, was uninsured and working as a security guard, until untreated diabetes left him legally blind.

Marijon Binder, an impoverished former nun in Chicago, was sued by a Catholic hospital over medical expenses she couldn’t pay.

And Russ Doren, a schoolteacher in a Denver suburb, believed he had good insurance until the bills for his wife’s inpatient treatment at a psychiatric hospital hit the limit for mental health coverage. The hospital released her, despite worries that she was not ready. A few days later, she took her own life.

The Affordable Care Act of 2010 was an effort to address these kinds of problems — to carry on the crusade for universal coverage that Harry Truman had launched some 60 years before. But precisely because Obama and his allies were determined to succeed where predecessors had failed, they made a series of concessions that necessarily limited the law’s ambition.

They expanded Medicaid and regulated private insurance rather than start a whole new government-run program. They dialed back demands for lower prices from drugmakers, hospitals and other health care industries. And they agreed to tight budget constraints for the program as a whole, rather than risk a revolt among more conservative Democrats. These decisions meant that health insurance would ultimately be more expensive and the new system’s financial assistance would be less generous.

Still, projections showed that the law would bring coverage to millions while giving policymakers tools they could use to reduce medical costs over time. When the Senate passed its version of the legislation in December 2009, then-Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) described the program as a “starter home” with a solid foundation and room for expansion.

Where Obamacare Failed And Where It Succeeded

Seven years later, Trump and the Affordable Care Act’s other critics insist that the program has been a boondoggle — that the Obamacare starter home needs demolition. Some of their objections are philosophical, and some, like the persistent belief that the law set up “death panels,” are fantastical. But others focus on the law’s actual consequences.

High on that list of consequences are the higher premiums and out-of-pocket costs that some people face. The new rules, like coverage of pre-existing conditions, have made policies more expensive, and Obamacare’s financial aid frequently doesn’t offset the increases. A “rate shock” wave hit suddenly in the fall of 2013, when insurers unveiled their newly upgraded plans and in many cases canceled old ones — infuriating customers who remembered Obama’s promise that “if you like your plan, you can keep it,” while alienating even some of those sympathetic to what Obama and the Democrats were trying to do.

I’ve interviewed plenty of these people, too. A few weeks ago, I spoke with Faisuly Scheurer, a real estate agent from Blowing Rock, North Carolina. She and her husband, who works in the restaurant business, were excited about the health care law because they’d struggled to find decent, affordable insurance. They make about $60,000 a year, before taxes, with two kids and college tuition looming in the not-distant future, she said.

In late 2013, they checked out their options and learned that, after tax credits, coverage would cost $360 a month. Scheurer said she remembers thinking, “OK, that is really tight. But if the benefits are good, we are going to have to skimp on other things to make it work.” Then she learned about the deductible, which was nearly $13,000 per year. “My disappointment was indescribable.”

The Scheurer family ultimately decided to remain uninsured. They’re not the only ones, and that has weakened the system as a whole. The people eschewing coverage tend to be relatively healthy, since they’re most willing to take the risk of no coverage. That’s created big problems for insurers, which need the premiums from healthy folks to offset the high medical bills of people with serious conditions.

Many insurers have reacted by raising premiums or pulling out of some places entirely, leaving dysfunctional markets in North Carolina and a handful of other states. Just this week, Humana, which had already scaled back its offerings, announced that it was pulling out of the Affordable Care Act exchanges altogether. At least for the moment, 16 counties in Tennessee don’t have a single insurer committed to offering coverage in 2018.

Trump, Ryan and other Republicans pounced on the Humana news, citing it as more proof of a “failed system” and the need for repeal. That’s pretty typical of how the political conversation about the Affordable Care Act has proceeded for the last seven years. The focus is on everything that’s gone wrong with Obamacare, with scant attention to what’s gone right.

And yet the list of what’s gone right is long.

In states like California and Michigan, the newly regulated markets appear to be working as the law’s architects intended, except for some rural areas that insurers have never served that well. Middle-class people in those states have better, more affordable options.

It looks like more insurers are figuring out how to make their products work and how to successfully compete for business. Customers have turned out to be more price-sensitive than insurers originally anticipated. In general, the carriers that struggle are large national companies without much experience selling directly to consumers, rather than through employers.

Last year’s big premium increases followed two years in which average premiums were far below projections, a sign that carriers simply started their pricing too low. Even now, on average, the premiums people pay for exchange insurance are on a par with, or even a bit cheaper than, equivalent employer policies — and that’s before the tax credits.

The majority of people who are buying insurance on their own or get their coverage through Medicaid are satisfied with it, according to separate surveys by the Commonwealth Fund and the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. The level of satisfaction with the new coverage still trails that involving employer-provided insurance, and it has declined over time. But it’s clearly in positive territory

And then there’s the fact that the number of people without health insurance is the lowest that government or private surveys have ever recorded. When confronted with questions about the people who gained coverage because of the law, Republicans often say something about sparing those people from disruption ― and then argue that even those who obtained insurance through the law are suffering and no better off. This claim is wildly inconsistent with the experience of people like Maryann Hammers ― and, more important, it’s wildly inconsistent with the best available research.

People are struggling less with medical bills, have easier access to primary care and medication, and report that they’re in better health, according to a study that appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2015. The number of people forgoing care because of costs or being “very worried” about paying for a catastrophic medical bill dropped substantially among the newly insured, Kaiser Foundation researchers found last year when they focused on people in California.

A bunch of other studies have turned up similar evidence, All of them gibe with a landmark report on the effects of Massachusetts’ 2006 insurance expansion, which was a prototype for the national legislation. Residents of that state experienced better health outcomes and less financial stress, according to the study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine.

“Though it’s had no shortage of controversies and stumbles, there’s really no denying that the ACA has created historic gains in insurance coverage,” said Larry Levitt, a senior vice president at the Kaiser Foundation. “With better coverage that has fewer holes, access to health care has improved and many have better protection from crushing medical bills.”

What Repeal Would Really Mean

Reasonable people can disagree about whether these achievements justify Obamacare’s costs, which include not only higher premiums for the young and healthy but also hefty new taxes on the wealthiest Americans. That’s a debate about values and priorities as much as facts.

What’s not in dispute, or shouldn’t be, is the stark choice on the political agenda right now.

Democratic lawmakers still argue for the principle that Truman laid out in 1948: “health security for all, regardless of residence, station, or race.” They think the Affordable Care Act means the U.S. is closer to that goal and that the next step should be to bolster the law ― by using government power to force down the price of drugs, hospital services and other forms of medical care, while providing more generous government assistance to people who still find premiums and out-of-pocket costs too onerous. Basically, they want people like Faisuly Scheurer to end up with the same security that people like Maryann Hammers already have.

Some Republicans talk as if they share these goals. Trump has probably been the most outspoken on this point, promising to deliver “great health care at lower cost” and vowing that “everybody would be covered.” But other Republicans reject the whole concept of health care as a right. Although it’s theoretically possible to draw up a conservative health plan that would improve access and affordability, these aren’t the kinds of plans that Republicans have in mind.

There’s a face to this law, there’s a face to people that are going to be affected by it. Angela Eilers, Yorba Linda, California

Their schemes envision substantially less government spending on health care, which would mean lower taxes for the wealthy but also less financial assistance for everybody else. Republicans would make insurance cheaper, but only by allowing it to cover fewer services and saddling beneficiaries with even higher out-of-pocket costs. The result would be some mix of more exposure to medical bills and more people without coverage. If Republicans repeal the Affordable Care Act without replacing it ― a real possibility, given profound divisions within the GOP over how to craft a plan ― 32 million more people could go uninsured, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

That would mean real suffering, primarily among those Americans who benefit most from the law now ― the ones with serious medical problems, or too little income to pay for insurance on their own, or both.

Jay Stout, a 20-year-old in Wilmington, North Carolina, is one of those people. He was in good health until a head-on car collision nearly severed his arm and landed him in the hospital for more than a month. Surgeries and rehabilitation would have cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars that, as a community college student working part-time as a busboy, he could never have paid — if not for the Blue Cross plan that his mother had bought through the Affordable Care Act. When we spoke a few weeks ago, he told me the insurance has been “irreplaceable” and that losing it “would be totally devastating.”

Meenakshi Bewtra had never had a serious health problem until her first year at the University of Pennsylvania medical school, when she developed severe gastrointestinal problems — the kind that forced her into the hospital for two months and drove her to drop out of school. Her insurance lapsed, which meant that her GI issues became a pre-existing condition. She eventually found coverage and today she’s a professor of medicine at Penn, where she moonlights as an advocate for universal health insurance.

“For the first time, I truly understood what comprehensive health insurance meant,” Bewtra said, remembering what it was like to become fully covered. “I did not have to worry about how many times I saw a doctor, or how many lab tests I had to get, or having to ration out medications.”

Angela Eilers, who lives in Yorba Linda, California, isn’t worrying about her own health. It’s her daughter Myka who has a congenital heart condition called pulmonary stenosis, which makes it more difficult for the heart to pump blood to the lungs. The little girl has required multiple surgeries and will need intensive medical treatment throughout her childhood.

In 2012, Angela’s husband, Todd, was laid off from his job at an investment firm. Since going without insurance was not an option, they took advantage of COBRA to stay on his old company’s health plan. It was expensive, and Eilers recalled panicking over the possibility they might not be able to pay the premiums. “I remember sitting at the table, thinking of plans. What would be our plan? One of them was … giving up our parents rights to my mom, because she has really good health insurance.”

Eventually her husband started his own consulting business, and that gave them the income to keep up with premiums until 2014 — when they were able to obtain coverage through the Affordable Care Act. Today they have a gold plan, one of the most generous available, for which they pay around $20,000 a year. Even though they make too much to qualify for financial assistance, they’re grateful for the coverage. Seven-year-old Myka has already run up more than a half-million dollars in medical bills. In the old days, before Obamacare, they would have worried about hitting their plan’s lifetime limit on benefits.

The family’s coverage has become more expensive over the years. They wish the price were lower, but they’re also not complaining about that. “I’m thankful that the letter was a premium hike, rather than ‘Sorry, we are not going to cover your daughter anymore,’” Angela Eilers said.

When she thinks about the possibility of Obamacare repeal, she wonders if Trump and the Republicans understand what that would really mean. “There’s a face to this law, there’s a face to people that are going to be affected by it,” Eilers said. “It’s not me, it’s not him, it’s her. She’s only 7. And through no fault of her own, why should she suffer? And she’s not the only one.”

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This Is What Obamacare's Critics Won't Admit Or Simply Don't Understand published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

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yes-dal456 · 7 years

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This Is What Obamacare's Critics Won't Admit Or Simply Don't Understand

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THOUSAND OAKS, California ― Maryann Hammers is likely to die from ovarian cancer someday. But she hopes someday won’t come anytime soon.

I'm terrified. ... Do you know how easy it is to use a million dollars when you're getting cancer treatment? Maryann Hammers, Thousand Oaks, California

“I’m terrified — isn’t that crazy?” Hammers said. “My biggest source of stress right now isn’t the fact that I have incurable cancer. It’s the prospect of losing my insurance.”

What American Health Care Used To Look Like

Tony Montenegro, an immigrant from El Salvador living in Los Angeles, was uninsured and working as a security guard, until untreated diabetes left him legally blind.

Marijon Binder, an impoverished former nun in Chicago, was sued by a Catholic hospital over medical expenses she couldn’t pay.

Where Obamacare Failed And Where It Succeeded

And yet the list of what’s gone right is long.

What Repeal Would Really Mean

What’s not in dispute, or shouldn’t be, is the stark choice on the political agenda right now.

There’s a face to this law, there’s a face to people that are going to be affected by it. Angela Eilers, Yorba Linda, California

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2lhKYWx from Blogger http://ift.tt/2lYrfLJ

#http://www.topwaytohappy.tk/2017/02/this-is-what-obamacares-critics-wont.html

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restate30201 · 7 years

Text

This Is What Obamacare's Critics Won't Admit Or Simply Don't Understand

THOUSAND OAKS, California ― Maryann Hammers is likely to die from ovarian cancer someday. But she hopes someday won’t come anytime soon.

I'm terrified. ... Do you know how easy it is to use a million dollars when you're getting cancer treatment? Maryann Hammers, Thousand Oaks, California

“I’m terrified — isn’t that crazy?” Hammers said. “My biggest source of stress right now isn’t the fact that I have incurable cancer. It’s the prospect of losing my insurance.”

What American Health Care Used To Look Like

Tony Montenegro, an immigrant from El Salvador living in Los Angeles, was uninsured and working as a security guard, until untreated diabetes left him legally blind.

Marijon Binder, an impoverished former nun in Chicago, was sued by a Catholic hospital over medical expenses she couldn’t pay.

Where Obamacare Failed And Where It Succeeded

And yet the list of what’s gone right is long.

What Repeal Would Really Mean

What’s not in dispute, or shouldn’t be, is the stark choice on the political agenda right now.

There’s a face to this law, there’s a face to people that are going to be affected by it. Angela Eilers, Yorba Linda, California

The family’s coverage has become..

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2lVz2x4

#DIYS

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realestate63141 · 7 years

Text

This Is What Obamacare's Critics Won't Admit Or Simply Don't Understand

THOUSAND OAKS, California ― Maryann Hammers is likely to die from ovarian cancer someday. But she hopes someday won’t come anytime soon.

I'm terrified. ... Do you know how easy it is to use a million dollars when you're getting cancer treatment? Maryann Hammers, Thousand Oaks, California

“I’m terrified — isn’t that crazy?” Hammers said. “My biggest source of stress right now isn’t the fact that I have incurable cancer. It’s the prospect of losing my insurance.”

What American Health Care Used To Look Like

Tony Montenegro, an immigrant from El Salvador living in Los Angeles, was uninsured and working as a security guard, until untreated diabetes left him legally blind.

Marijon Binder, an impoverished former nun in Chicago, was sued by a Catholic hospital over medical expenses she couldn’t pay.

Where Obamacare Failed And Where It Succeeded

And yet the list of what’s gone right is long.

What Repeal Would Really Mean

What’s not in dispute, or shouldn’t be, is the stark choice on the political agenda right now.

There’s a face to this law, there’s a face to people that are going to be affected by it. Angela Eilers, Yorba Linda, California

The family’s coverage has become..

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2lVz2x4

#DIYS

0 notes