#i need to write a meta about hereward being the perfect representation of akechi at some point

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

There's a very popular interpretation of Akechi that the third semester is him "mask off," his true self for everyone to behold with no filters or masks. And it's wrong.

Akechi still wears a mask in the third semester--the mask of the black mask. He is never honest throughout the majority of the entire game including the third semester, outside a few key exceptions mainly in his Royal confidant, the Jazz club, and 2/2. Akechi's true self is not a heartless killer. The black mask is another persona (figuratively and literally) he puts on for his own purposes.

(And of course, as I will get into later, that mask is as much a part of him as the pleasant mask is. Loki is as much a part of him as Robin Hood. They are both masks, but they are masks that draw from his inner self. They may obscure inner truths about himself, but they are reflections of that inner self as well.)

Akechi puts on the black mask for clear reasons--he doesn't want the Phantom Thieves, especially Joker, to become attached and risk the true reality for him. He does not believe he deserves or needs companionship after what he's done, he doesn't desire pity or mercy, so he uses what he believes to be his true, unfiltered self to push others away. Because Akechi knows (or thinks that he knows) that his "true" self is unlovable and repulsive. If the pleasant mask is worn to draw others to him, the black mask is worn to push others away.

Now, because Akechi believes his true self is so unlovable, the black mask contains more truth to it than the pleasant mask. He has the freedom to be more honest while wearing that mask because the point is to push others away, and he thinks he can do that by being himself. But even as the black mask, Akechi is never truly vulnerable. He does not display his sympathy for Sumire (which he clearly feels beneath the surface). He puts on this face of antipathy when he clearly does care. Just look at his tsundere behavior with Joker.

If we want to see Akechi's true self we have to look past both the pleasant mask and the black mask. And what's underneath is a kid who loathes himself, who threw his life away for a man who destroyed his life simply to receive recognition that he was worth existing and died for that mistake. Akechi hates himself so deeply that he looked to his own disgusting father, whom he hated, for validation and love.

The engine room scene is key to understanding Akechi in the third semester. I've stated this before, but Akechi in the third semester is someone who's lost everything and believes it is entirely his own fault. He lost, something he absolutely cannot stand, and he believes he is dead. He suspects Maruki is going to use his life as a bargaining chip to accept the fake reality, perhaps from the very beginning. So, what else is there for him to do but to oppose with every fiber of his being the adult who once again wishes to manipulate and use him for his own purposes, and push away the peers he has personally hurt so they don't grow attached and will be able to make the correct choice and let him die in that engine room.

But who is the true Goro Akechi? The kid who isn't being manipulated by Shido? The man who hasn't made opposing Maruki his sole and final life objective?

He's philosophical and self aware, as we see in the jazz club. He's playful, as we see in his Rank 6 in the bathhouse. He's frightfully intelligent, as we see in Nijima's Palace, and genuinely enjoys investigative work, as we see in the third semester. He's vulnerable, as we see on 2/2. He's capable of both happiness and friendship in a few rare moments, but they are snuffed out before they can fully bloom into their true potential due to outside circumstances.

Akechi is not heartless. He is not doomed to have suffering eternally define his existence, and he doesn't live to kill. He's a kid who was groomed and manipulated into becoming a child assassin by his own father and lost himself in the process. He doesn't even know himself until the very end of the game when he Awakens to Hereward. Before that point he's so thoroughly rejected Robin Hood as a part of himself that he's nearly forgotten his childhood dream of being a hero and he believes that Loki is, in his own words, "who I really am." In awakening to Hereward, Akechi reconciles all aspects and masks into one united vision. He's no longer shattered into two incomplete reflections, but a singular whole self. But that doesn't happen until the very eve of his own (supposed) demise.

We barely get a glimpse of Akechi's true self before he's gone because Akechi himself doesn't know who he is and he hates himself so thoroughly he's incapable of displaying himself to others (and therefore the player). Both of his masks are incomplete pictures of the true self underneath. Loki is a twisted mask defined by his anger and suffering and longing for vengeance. Robin Hood is a forgotten, unrealized childhood dream of becoming an ideal hero who fights for the weak. Both are part of him, but separately are mere shadows of a whole. Before Hereward he is constantly in two extremes--the perfect, idealized self; and the vitriolic, imperfect, violent side. We don't see an Akechi who has found a balance, who has finally found who he truly is, because he dies too early for him to discover it.

#ive written metas touching on this in the past but i realized i had more to say so here you go #p5 #goro akechi #akechi goro #persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #i need to write a meta about hereward being the perfect representation of akechi at some point #i also need to write a meta about rank six because it makes me Feel Things #that rank is akechi at his most real dont @ me #actually feel free to @ me (aka send an ask) i need an excuse to rant about it #maybe if i get an ask i'll finally type it all out we'll see #also. this is what i meant when i said he has persona 4 vibes. looks like i did explain myself further after all #sera posts #sera talks goro