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kurooicha · 3 years

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Why I love Umi and Ascot

I have loved Magic Knight Rayearth ever since I was a kid. I come from a small country where anime and manga was a pretty unknown thing during my childhood, but then they started to air shows like Rayearth and Sailor Moon which were so different from what I had usually watched and I was so hooked. However I never managed to watch every single episode of Rayearth anime, I started from the 2nd season and didn't even see all the episodes from that either, I was very late to the party. Later on I got to buy the original manga instead and got to experience the story via that, and I LOVED it! The characters that really stood out to me were Umi and Ascot, let's start with Umi: In the beginning Umi is a very selfish and bratty girl who comes from a rich family, and she is constantly complaining about how she is missing her personal things. However during their adventure she learns to care about others and becomes more patient. She starts to really value her friendship with other girls. Many people have pointed out that Umi seems to get most development out of the all main characters and I do agree. She feels like a totally different person in the very end of the story. What was the real highlight in her character imo was when she managed to talk sense to Ascot when he attacked them. She had learned so much from their friendship and now she used this knowledge to show Ascot how he should really treat his monster friends. Then about Ascot: He starts out as a literal child who was incredibly misguided, he only wanted a good place for his monster friends but everyone were scared of them. That is until Zagato offered him and his friends a place to stay, and he started to serve Zagato as well. He used his friends as weapons against others, until he met Umi who told him off for not treating his friends right. He understood his mistakes and apologized the Magic Knights. And in the second season we see him definitely being learned a lot from Umi. He tells that he has stood up for his friends so nobody is afraid of them anymore, he has learned his own magic skills from Clef so he wouldn't need to always depend on others and he is also helping to do many chores like picking up fruits with his monsters. During the second season I totally love how much of a deep bond there has been developed between Umi and Ascot. While Ascot's feelings were definitely romantic towards her while she was overall a very oblivious person, they still do so much together. Ascot tells and shows to Umi how much he has learned and how much Umi has affected him, for which Umi happily compliments him. He also insists to help the Magic Knights when they are about to go find the path to the pillar, and later apologizes to Umi how he isn't strong enough, causing Umi to smile at him with a moving expression. After Hikaru removes Cephiro's pillar system and the girls return to the others, they are floating towards the ones who the have the strongest bonds with, of course Umi decending towards Ascot. Then in the epilogue we see them making tea together, while Ascot asks if Umi is dating anyone or if she overall likes someone, abd she is still as oblivious as ever. :) If I would add some smaller details why I love these two, here's some: First of all, Umi is often described to be very beautiful, almost like a model, but personality wise she was very brattish. When she changed Ascot however, she did it while reasoning with her, so I really like how Ascot clearly is not into her because of her looks, it was what she taught to her that made him to love her. I also love Ascot's overall devotion towards her, in both manga and anime we see him going to such lenghts to protect Umi, how he even apologizes to her because he really wants to do more but isn't strong enough. Not to mention Mokona also clearly noticed their bond and thought they should go together in the same ship to find the path to the pillar.

Here I would shortly talk about the MKR anime adaptation. Tbh, I was rather disappoited what they did to their relationship here. I do love that Ascot is still devoted towards her, but their overall bond that I thought was very solid in the manga felt like an afterthought. I wasn't very happy about Umi having feelings for Clef either, mainly because it I never felt that much connection between them, maybe somewhat in the OVA but not in the original series, not to mention I always thought Umi was supposed to be oblivious to love in general. I get that anime doesn't have to be exactly the same as the manga, but again I felt that the bond between Umi and Ascot was very solid and in the anime I was very sad we couldn't see Umi truly reacting to Ascot's growth.

While I doubt MKR would ever get a Brotherhood treatment, I would still like to see one someday, and I would especially love the bond between Umi and Ascot being shown in its whole glory. They don't need to actually become a couple or anything, as it was left very vague in the manga too, but I definitely want them to show their bond done right. I overall loved how only one of the Magic Knights got a love interest (that being Fuu), meaning not all the characters have to be in a romantic relationship, which I find admirable. Hikaru and Umi are just still very young and oblivious people. I am not saying all this just because I ship Asmi, I say this because I felt that the bond they had in the manga was such a strong part of their characters. I only want to see that done in proper way. Thank you for reading!

#magic knight rayearth#umi ryuuzaki #ascot #asmi #umi x ascot #clamp

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dainarps · 6 years

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Second Chances

It was sunny the day that Doumeki died. Watanuki glared bitterly at the sky from his spot on the porch, watching as a fluffy cloud ambled across the horizon, mocking him.

“Idiot has to even screw up his funeral,” Watanuki grumbled, turning back inside the shop and slamming the door behind him. Doumeki had been the last of his friends to go, and Watanuki thought he had grown numb to the feeling. He’d thought it wouldn’t hurt anymore when someone he loved passed away, but it still did. It still felt like someone had ripped out his heart and mangled it before returning it to his body just so he could feel the pain.

Kohane had been the first to leave him, dying suddenly of a heart attack at age sixty. Himawari’s case had been particularly distressing to him. She had never started a family, and when she became too old to take care of herself, Watanuki had her move in. She died in her sleep at 83. Doumeki had been 92. They’d just celebrated his birthday not too long ago, only a few months. Time moved differently for him in this state. Everything had felt too fast. Had it felt like that for him, too? Did he enjoy his time here? Did he know…? Watanuki leaned on the wall, his vision blurring as he slid down to the floor.

“This was my choice! You don’t have to stay here!” “I know.” “So then leave! Get out of here! I don’t want you here anyway!”

Silence. “You’re wasting your life here! There’s got to be something you want to do, somewhere you want to go! Staying here with me—“ “This is where I want to be.” Watanuki didn’t know how many times he had yelled at him—too many to count. Always on his birthday, too—the constant reminder that while Watanuki didn’t look a day over 18, Doumeki was growing older. He was missing out on so many things. Every year the same argument with the same end result. Doumeki would stay, and Watanuki wouldn’t speak to him properly for a week.

When he was young, Doumeki would come every day after work. He was a history professor at the local university, and Watanuki always enjoyed reading the notes on his lectures.

As with Himawari, when Watanuki started to notice old age setting in, he prepared a room for Doumeki. “You don’t have to move in. I don’t really want you to, but you’re retired and rent at your place is too much money!”

Idiot. He was an idiot. Watanuki liked to think that he could manage his emotions as well as Yuuko, but he knew it wasn’t true. He often charged too little for wishes, bearing the punishment for that himself. He allowed his emotions to get in the way, and his stubbornness, his pride, stood strong on the day Doumeki died. He’d sat by his bedside and comforted him, holding his hand. The two of them said nothing, though there were so many things he should have said—things he should have said a long time ago.

When Doumeki passed, Watanuki called a professor at the university who had worked with him. Watanuki arranged the funeral service himself, ensuring everything would be perfect for his send off. Of course, it didn’t rain that day, either, like it felt like it was.

His house was empty. Sure, Mokona was there, and Maru and Moro. He had friends in the spirit world who came to console him, too. “I know he was your good friend.” “It’ll be okay—you of all people should know that.” “Your friend is where he belongs now.” They were all wrong.

Doumeki was supposed to be here, with him, where he always was. Watanuki slid to the floor, legs no longer able to support him. Tears gathered on his glasses and slid onto the floor, down his cheeks and onto the silk of his kimono. When his arms no longer supported him, he laid on the tatami mat and let the tears stain that instead.

He didn’t mean for it to go this way. He didn’t mean to let him go without saying anything.

Doumeki was supposed to be here.

He wanted him back.

It was selfish and stupid and impossible, but he wanted him back. No, it was more than that. He needed him back.

He’d made a terrible mistake.

All these years, all these unspoken words, all this time waiting for someone who would never return… There had been someone right in front of him and he hadn’t even seen it.

He could almost hear Doumeki calling him stupid.

“It is stupid, you know.”

Watanuki hadn’t smelled cigarettes in a long time. He smoked from a pipe, the scent was so different. This smell… “Haruka.”

The scene around him became clear. They were sitting on the back porch of the shop, watching fireflies dance in the grass. Watanuki couldn’t bring himself to look at him. He knew if he did…he would see the face of another. “You grant wishes to others, but never were able to satisfy yourself… You never figured out what it was that you wished for,” Haruka said, and Watanuki laughed. “What does it matter what I wish for? It’s impossible.”

Doumeki would have slapped him across the head for that one. “I’m a patient man, wouldn’t you say that? I’ll wait.” Haruka said. Watanuki turned his head then, for the first time looking at Haruka. For a long time, he had confused him with Doumeki. When Doumeki was younger, they looked almost identical, save for the fact that Haruka smiled more.

Watanuki was old now, in his nineties, but he felt so small under Haruka’s presence. He felt like he was young again, confused, scared, and alone. He’d hated Doumeki, and even when those feelings started to change, he told himself it wasn’t true. He denied it. He couldn’t possibly like someone like that. No…it was more than that. It always had been more than that. Even in his dreams, tears built up in his eyes.

“I would give up everything…if he came back to me,” Watanuki whispered. Haruka, of all things, chuckled. He reached up and placed a hand atop Watanuki’s head. “You may be old…but you’re still a child,” Haruka said. “Shut up.”

“You are a patient man, too, are you not?” “I’m still here, aren’t I?” Watanuki replied, reaching up and wiping his eyes. “If your wish has changed…then the path of the future has changed as well,” Haruka said, standing up. “I was expecting Shizuka to join me—that he would visit you like this as well, but…he has chosen a different path as well. Eighteen years…can you wait that long?”

Watanuki didn’t get to answer. His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring at the ceiling of his room. Maru and Moro must have dragged him here from the floor… He would bake them something special to celebrate. Eighteen years.

He could wait that long.

#oops my fingers slipped ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD

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kurogabae · 7 years

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i’m on an angst kick and memory loss!AU calls to me like no other

“Oh! Miss Caldina was right!” Sakura cried in delight, pulling Syaoran along with her. “The city skyline is beautiful at night!”

There was no arguing it. The shimmering lights of the modern city were breathtaking from their vantage point at some tourist sightseeing cliff face. They were a few miles out and had a great view of the impossibly tall buildings and all their dancing lights, like stars stolen from right out of the sky. Since losing his memories, Kurogane had been to many cities like this one, but he’d never seen any the way they were seeing this one now. He found himself hoping he wouldn’t have to forget this one day as well.

Hanging back, he watched Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona lean on the safety railing, gazing out at the skyline in awe. Sakura and Syaoran’s fingers were comfortably intertwined with each other and upon noticing Kurogane felt that inexplicable, powerful pang of satisfaction, like one would feel after a hard job well done. He knew that the two kids -- young adults really, old enough to think about settling down by his wager -- had had to fight tooth and nail for the happiness they enjoyed now, and Kurogane was sure he had played some part in all of that, but he couldn’t imagine it would have been enough to warrant such a reaction.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Fai said beside him. “Seeing them so happy. You don’t remember, but I know you love them and want them happy all the same,” he added with a sly smile.

Kurogane didn’t see anything to deny about what Fai had said. “How does it make you feel?”

Fai shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever have words for it,” he admitted, and Kurogane could understand the feeling. “Some days I still wake up and think this might have all been a dream.”

Even now, months after waking to the unfamiliar faces of people who claimed to love him, he still knew next to nothing about Fai, where he had come from before joining their small, traveling family, or who he’d been to all over them in their early days of travel. He knew there was a lot of pain hiding in the past, especially where Fai was concerned, but Kurogane wanted to know, even if he’d never really remember.

“Don’t suppose you’re ever going to tell me why you feel that way,” Kurogane said, trying to make it sound offhanded.

The smile Fai gave him was sad but honest. “You don’t want to know those things,” he said. “They only hurt, and they’re behind us.”

“You told me before, didn’t you?” he pressed, latching on to Fai’s train of thought. He didn’t know why it was so important to him that he know Fai’s past as well as their shared past. Kurogane was not a man that cared about where people came from, it was more important where they were going, but it just wouldn’t stop niggling him. “Why won’t you tell me now?”

Something painful came over Fai’s face and for a moment his eyes for focused somewhere far away from Kurogane. “I never told you,” he finally admitted. “You were shown by someone else.”

The flatness of Fai’s voice was enough to have Kurogane drop the subject. It wasn’t that important.

Kurogane’s nightmares were things of smoke and fire, the air was always filled with screams and ash and he could feel himself burning away inside and out. Everything would be red and he would be calling names, looking for familiar faces, praying that when he met their eyes they were still looking back at him.

He had never had a nightmare about snow before, where the silence was more deafening than anything he’d heard from a demon. There was no red -- fire or blood or evil eyes glowing through the smoke and shadow. In fact, there was no color at all. Grey was all there was, shades of it. This nightmare was different than all the others, except for one thing.

He was still burning.

It was cold, though. The burn was not fever or flames, but ice creeping into emptiness. It was a sense of complete hopelessness overwhelming him, burning away everything that he was until all that was left was a husk of a person. It was terrifying. He tried to scream, to call for help, but he had no strength, he could only lay there in the snow and let the grey surround him and swallow him and erase him.

He couldn’t give up, but he couldn’t fight. He needed help, he needed to help...

... to help... someone... some...one...

Kurogane felt the scream more than heard it as he jerked awake. When he opened his eyes the suffocating world of his nightmare was gone and it was replaced by blue.

“Fai.”

“Yeah, it’s me, Kuro-sama,” Fai said. He looked worried, bordering terrified really. He was gripping Kurogane’s arms tightly and was all but sitting in his lap, both of them tangled in Kurogane’s bed sheets as if there had been a struggle.

Slowly, it dawned on him that Fai must have been trying to wake him up. “What was I-”

“You were calling my name,” Fai said. That look was back again, the one that was sad because of something Kurogane didn’t remember. It didn’t make him as angry as it used to, but Kurogane knew it would always hurt to see. Fai loosened his grip on Kurogane’s arms. It was still dark outside and Kurogane hoped he hadn’t woken the children with his ridiculous screaming. “What were you dreaming about?”

Sighing, he sat up more and didn’t shoo Fai off his lap, taking comfort from the warm weight of his friend. “I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “It was jumbled. Everything was cold and covered in snow, and I was alone and trapped even though there weren’t any chains I-- I knew I was trapped.”

The harder he thought about the dream the more he could remember about it. It was the first time in months memories were coming back to him when he chased after them, so he didn’t let up. In his lap, Fai was silent.

“It was a punishment,” he continued slowly, the worlds coming as realizations. It was like a memory that wasn’t his emerging from the haze that constantly clouded swaths of his mind. “A punishment for something we hadn’t even done.”

He paused when he realized there had been a second person there. In the tower, so far away and just as alone. There had been other people too. “There were corpses. People who had been killed, thrown in as punishment as well.”

Suddenly, flashes of it all came rushing at Kurogane. Two young boys, innocent and frightened and helpless. Unfairness and blame, bodies raining from the sky. A dark man who spokes twisted words of half truths and lies. The need for help. The need to help... the one he had needed to help in the dream, the one in the tower. The reason he had been calling for Fai.

“You’re not Fai,” Kurogane said, his voice disturbingly plain for the realization. “That isn’t your name.”

Chancing a look up he saw unshed tears shimmering in blue eyes.

“You never met him,” he said. “My brother died when we were still young.”

Kurogane reached out a hand, slowly, as if he were reaching out to a wounded animal, and wiped away the tears with no small amount of reverence. “I know.”

Fai had stayed the rest of the night with him, neither of them had gotten any more sleep, but they hadn’t spoken any more either. Memories continued to accost Kurogane throughout the night and by morning his head was pounding and his mood was foul. When Mokona summoned Watanuki he let Fai do all the talking.

“Why does he remember those things?” Fai hissed. Perhaps they should have left this to the kids. “Of all the slip ups you could have made, you had to leave him with my scars?”

For his part, Watanuki did look wholly apologetic, possibly even a bit heartbroken, but Kurogane had a hard time feeling charitable at the moment. He was with Fai on this. If he was going to remember something from his past travels why this? Why not something kinder? Or at least more useful?

“They aren’t his memories,” Watanuki said after Sakura had ushered Fai to the side. “They’re yours, Fai-san, and so they were not his to give as payment. They will remain with him.”

There was not much to be said after that. Watanuki exchanged a few words with Syaoran and Sakura before Mokona disconnected and all eyes were on Kurogane and Fai, but the two adults were already retreating and none of them were surprised.

The morning sunlight shining through Kurogane’s bedroom window betrayed the mood surround he and Fai. He didn’t want to talk about this, but he wanted these memories hanging between them even less.

“You intended to kill me,” he said without preamble.

“We all see how good a job I did with that,” Fai said and Kurogane almost laughed. From would-be assassin to would-be husband. It was a bit funny. Or it would be in a few days after he had some time to let all of this new information settle into his world view.

He could tell, knew it in his gut, that Fai had never actually made an attempt at his life. Kurogane knew it like he knew his own name. Fai had been right the other night, though. He hadn’t wanted to know any of those things. The pain of Fai’s memories had begun filling in the empty spaces left by Kurogane’s missing ones. It ached and raged in his chest, made all the worse by the knowledge that he was separated by those responsible by so many years and worlds. The only comfort he had in this was the knowledge that everyone person who had hurt Fai was now dead.

Kurogane had more questions, but he wasn’t sure if either of them were able to handle the answers without breaking after the morning they had just had. No for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Kurogane cursed the fates.

“Well,” Fai finally said. “Know you know everything.”

He’d been wrong. He wasn’t able to handle anything more right now without breaking. Unfortunate.

“What the hell do you mean?” he snapped, rounding on Fai in an instant. “I don’t know anything!”

Fai stared up at him with a mix of disbelief and frustration and opened his mouth to speak, but Kurogane wasn’t finished.

“All I know is how you’ve suffered,” he said, voice low and rumbling with fury. “I don’t know anything of your life, of our life.” He saw the understanding slowly dawning on Fai’s face as he spoke. “You speak of how this all feels like a dream sometimes, but you never tell me why. You’ve told me you love me, but you won’t tell me why.”

He wanted to understand Fai, but in hiding his pain so steadfastly he’d hidden everything from Kurogane. How was he supposed to find the man he had once loved if Fai kept him hidden all the time...

#KuroFai #TRC #SyaoSaku #spoilersTRC #my fics #memory loss!AU #kurogane just wants to remember loving fai but fai is a difficult and stupid man

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