#i told my partner “get your rebreather out

[orionares]

BTHB: Asthma Attack

Bad Things Happen Bingo: Asthma Attack

The Rookie

@badthingshappenbingo

-------------------

Everything is fine.

Totally fine.

"Can't believe the doctor kept looking at me like that."

Lucy Chen sighs, not loud enough for the grump sitting in the bedside chair to hear. What she does not need is for the grump sitting next to her to change his grumbling about the very nice doctor's last interaction with them to his pissiness over the doctor’s last two spoken words.

"Your husband."

Not about the need for her to stay the night; although he had bitched and moaned about that for an hour.

"For an asthma attack? That's ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous is that you keep calling what happened an 'asthma attack'.

Nor does he pout about the shit eating grin from Lyla and Nolan when Tim had plopped down in the chair, crossed his arms and said, "I'll keep an eye on her."

Like she couldn't sit in a bed with an oxygen rebreather mask on by herself. God forbid.

No, cranky pants sits next to her, scowling as he has done the last thirty-five minutes because the doctor who' d explained the need for her to stay the night after going through respiratory arrest on a scene confused him for her husband.

The audacity.

—-----------------

"Tim?"

"Tim."

He finally looks away from the spot of the wall he's in a glaring contest with to note the mask currently down to her chin and grumble, "Put your mask back on."

"Will you stop pouting?" Lucy counters.

Tim narrows his eyes and possibly flexes as if in an attempt to get her to back down. "I am your Sergeant and that's an order."

"No, you are-" Her chest squeezes and she's not only breathless but also annoyed at the told-you- so smirk on Tim's face. So she sticks out her tongue, pulls up the mask over her face and settles back into the bed.

Tim smirks again and settles back in his chair. He raises his left shoulder and then his right, somehow stretching his shoulders without uncrossing his arms.

Like any normal human being.

Lucy rolls onto her side, facing him and decides that for everyone's sake, she needs to unstick the stick currently shoved up his ass.

Lucy pulls down the mask. "The doctor didn't mean to insult you by calling you my husband."

"I don't care about that. Keep the mask on."

She snorts. "You are sitting there like a bouncer at a club. Are you going to charge an entrance fee to my hospital room?"

Tim's jaw tightens and he straightens up in his seat eerily quiet. If she were ever to write a book for future rookies, future wives or partners of one Tim Bradford, she'd label it Signs you midnight have gone too far with Tim. Good luck!

"You were exposed to something that caused you to collapse on the ground and struggle to breathe for three and a half minutes before backup could arrive," Tim explains in a slow, serious tone. He leans forward and cups his hands together. "Which means I had to watch and hold you while you struggled to breathe for three and a half minutes. 210 seconds."

You scared him, her conscience yells. You scared him again.

Tim drops his head, shakes it in dismay before continuing," I don't care about what the doctor said or anything else except the fact that you need to sit in the bed and keep your goddamn oxygen mask on."

And then Tim dons the armor of being 'Sergeant Bradford' ,the unflappable leader not currently in a will they- won't they saga with his old rookie. Sergeant Bradford is not traumatized by another incident of Lucy nearly dying.

Much easier and safer.

"Officer Chen, I am ordering you to put and keep your mask on. If you do not follow that simple order, then we will have a problem,"Tim warns, "Do we have an understanding?"

Lucy narrows her eyes at the command. Much harsher than expected but she knows the man.

So she counters with a comment that earns her an eyeroll.

"Yes. Hubby."

—---

Ping!

Ping!

Ping!

"Are you seriously texting me from across the room?"

Lucy grins under her oxygen mask at Tim's grin from his chair, now set against the wall. The question breaks the thirty-five minute detente as well, goddamn it, the silence and tension is awful.

"What the hell is…. I'm not having a conversation with you in emoji."

Bitmoji but he's close.

Lucy holds up her cellphone and jiggles it at him and then points to her mask.

The message is clear- How else am I supposed to talk to you?

"You should be resting," Tim grumbles, tucking his phone back in his pocket and resting his head back on the chair. Lucy watches him for a beat before tapping away a totally rational text response. She taps send and grins as after a second of silence, Tim's phone pings .

"I will confiscate your phone if I need to," He mutters, pulling out his phone again and pulling up her text. The eyebrow raise and following scowl is just….chef's kiss.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Logical, simple question accompanied with a picture of a woodchuck. Or possibly a beaver..

Tim rolls his eyes. "How old are you?"

Lucy taps a response that arrives after thirty seconds- It popped in my head and we've been sitting in silence for half an hour.

"And that is the first thing that pops in your mind?" The man answers with a scoff. Lucy nods her head enthusiastically until her lungs disagree with the sudden movements and she starts to cough.

Tim pops out of the chair in record breaking time, crosses the space between the chair and her bedside and cups her face as she coughs a wet, painful cough.

His hand cupping her cheek, thumb rubbing against her cheek feels like the most normal thing in the world for the pair.

Hell, Tim's brown eyes glistening with worry, love and warmth as he calms her continuously, "It's alright, you're alright," feels normal.

It feels normal, needed and yet it isn't. Normal, that is.

"I heard that cough all the way in the hall. How are you doing, Miss Chen?" An annoyingly chirpy voice calls from the doorway. Helena Crawley, the charge nurse, enters without waiting for an invitation.

Ignoring Tim's homicidal glare from Lucy's right side of the bed, Helena asks cheerfully,"Was that your first type of cough like that since we admitt-"

"Why are you so calm?" Tim snaps at the nurse. "That sounded like an asthma-"

Lucy pulls the mask and wheeze, "It wasn't an asthma atta-"

"Keep…the bloody mask on, Chen."

"Or what?" Lucy dares.

"You really want to test that theory?" Tim counters. Helena, completely forgotten in the argument, clears her throat and suggests, "Why don't you, uhm-"

Tim straightens up as if he's about to salute the mayor. "Sergeant Bradford. LAPD."

Showoff.

Helena blinks at Tim wide-eyed and then recovers. "Yes, Sergeant Bradford- why don't you give us a bit so I can examine your-"

Lucy interrupts. "Actually, can you give us a second?"

Before he drop kicks you?

Helena bolts from the room rather quickly and Lucy is once again left with an hyper- alert overprotective Tim, who's already scanning the room for God knows what.

"Can you stop?" Lucy whispers harshly, "You cannot stay here and guard me like a lion guarding its dinner! I can handle sitting in a hospital room. Go home."

He chews on his lip and repeats the same warning she had been given the last time she'd even attempted to get him to leave. "I'm not leaving, Lucy. Stop asking."

The usual staring contest follows, one of Lucy staring down the most stubborn man she's ever met and Tim, returning a failing attempt at not agreeing with her. However, Tim's eyes darken and she flashes back to a memory of Tim kneeling over her, desperately calling out to her.

"No, you don't get to die on me, Lucy. No, you don't get to leave me."

Leave him?

Lucy drops her shoulders and warmly smiles up at a tense Tim. She wraps her fingers around his wrists and he softens under the delicate touch. She also ignores the butterflies running havoc in her stomach because now is not the time for her to have a meltdown over her feelings for Tim.

"Why don't you at least go home, shower and get a change of clothes?" Lucy suggests. Tim's eyes flicker nervously as he's overanalyzing every possibility with him leaving.

"Stop overthinking, go home and be back in an hour. And then we can review how to not act insane in a hospital, " Lucy adds.

Tim nods weakly and then as if something they do daily, he kisses her forehead.

Also, completely normal.

"I'll be back in one hour," Tim says, holding up a finger and then bolts out of the hospital room as if on a timer. Lucy giggles before calling out behind him, "Don't dawdle, Hubby!"

She can picture Tim likely fighting off a growing smile as he walks , well sprints , to the elevator. It's a testament to everything chaotic around them, her nearly dying in his arms pushes them one step deeper into their confusing partner/friendship/whatever.

Lucy's phone pings and her eyes drop from the empty door frame and then down to the phone in her lap.

Of course it's a text from Tim and one that will 100% lead to revenge- I heard you.

#the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #bad things happen bingo #bad things bingo #asthma attack

[crybabytoy59]

My Begging letter PT8.

After they fell asleep I slept on and off suffering in the bondage position they had left me in, During the night sometime around 4am I was woken by light shocks that were growing in strength not enough to make me cry out just hard enough to have me whimpering, unbeknownst to me they were both up naked, Mistress Mummy was hanging up the remainder of the urine from the water fountain that she had put into a bag then sat it in the sink with boiling water to heat it up, this would add an element of Deeply bitter taste every time The new Slave swallowed it down unfortunately for Babyslave Mistress Mummy had woken feeling Not only Very Dominant But extremely Dirty....As she pushed the Tee peace to the neck of the bag with the sprung loaded valves this allowed for a second liquid to be lifted by the first fluid passing the valve, All she needed to do was prime the valve with a syringe 💉as she hung up the bag she pushed the second tube from the rebreather box on the floor pulling on the large syringe she watched Smiling as the wee ball in the clear valve port spun around rapidly pulling the discoloured liquid from the box up to meet the valve, Then pushing the syringe backwards until the tube from the box was 3/4 of the way discoloured & the last 1/4 was stale urine, pulling the syringe away she felt the growing heat between her legs.

At that point Master Daddy had returned with a bag full of ice in a bucket putting it down by Babyslave he softly whispered “Ready Sweetheart?”...

“Fuck yes Darling time to up the pace for Babyslave”

She took away the mask from sissy’s face closing the valve to prevent any smell, then lifting the cock dummy gag this to had holes fro the rubber throat ties to fix it in Babyslave’s mouth. She patted sissy’s chin, then pushed it lightly down..Babyslave Opened Widely ! Sissy was learning, she fed the cock dummy feeder down the rubber laces until the foam ring slipped behind Babyslave’s teeth, as she did Master Daddy pulled the over head belt tightly again making Babyslave bite down on the foam ring sealing the mouth shut !

Next he fitted the rubber bag to the rubber Oring around sissy’s neck making a seal. Mistress Mummy giggled lightly as the wheel on the valve started turning & whimpering came from the hood, Hot urine now passing out all the holes in the cock dummy Babyslave would know it had been heated up as it was over body urine temperature. Inside the hood they could here Swallowing as each time sissy swallowed the dummy would simply refilled from the bag...but worse still Mistress Mummy watched as the discoloured fluid went further up the tube, in a few minutes Babyslave would get her first taste of the new mix...

She nodded to her husband who emptied the ice into the rubber bag surrounding Babyslave’s headie..He closed the rubber seal on top only the tube protruded from the rubber bag a large hole at the top let air in the space between the ice bag & sissy’s face at the front the only place the bag had no contact with the inner hood.

They kissed each other & went back to bed for a couple of hours as they wanted a 7am start as Mistress Dee was arriving at 9am & all had to be prepared for her playtime !

As they worked on me in silence I found this part terrible as when they spoke I got a strange comfort from it even though they were being Wicked & Dominant....But this ? I could only await my fate...that’s when I felt her soft finger tapping my chin then push it lightly down...she wanted my mouth open, the pressure from the strap over my head had released, so I opened Wide to please her, I jumped in the bondage as the 4” cock Dummy was fed into my mouth as it went quite far back but it also had something at its end ? She forced this part past my teeth till it seal my mouth open around the plastic guard on the outside I knew it was attached to something as it kept moving for a short time then I felt it get hot as suddenly stale urine filled my Mouth! But it was way too hot to be fresh, Tears now starting Again as I resigned myself to drinking there “Golden nectar” Wondering why it did not make me feel sick ? Or even nauseous? It was just simply horrible that was all....

Then suddenly something crashed around my head then tightly pulled its self against my hood all but the front were my face was.... slowly my head got cooler I found the swallowing became a task as my tiredness coupled with my cooling head making thoughts hard to focus....my lullaby I’m my ear buds sounding louder & more emotive, smack ! Wwaaaa’wwaaaaWwaaaa .... Smack !! Wwaaaah’Wwaaah !my head felt different but I was too busy Swallowing. Slowly my head started to get cold so much so my lullaby in the ear bud was making me cry...just the sound of it made me want to Cry...

The next hour was spent Very uncomfortable & by the time I felt them removing the head wrapping & hood I was genuinely glad to be able to see them....

Looking closer at the mirrors in front of me They we’re both dressed in rubber suits...This made me nervous....as they both set about putting the equipment away, the frame in-front of me was removed then Master Daddy set about unlacing the bondage pants, as they came loose I was suddenly aware how much the I had wetdiring the night,  but my rear felt strange tingling as the bondage was undone every part of my body aching as I swallowed the Now fowl liquid down mouthful after mouthful pashhed down into my tummy I was feeling very full now, slumping in the last of the ropes Mistress Mummy spanked my sore thigh Thwack! “On your Knees Crybaby Sweetheart We have much to get done so We Want Complete Obedient behaviour this morning Madam !....Now Gulp Nice & fast until I says Stop Cutenesses!”

Still disoriented from the ice freezing & tiredness I started the first of my tears rolling down my cheeks....as I took big gulps of the horrible liquid formula forcing my tummy to fill even fuller ! This seemed to please them no end as Master Daddy undid the armbinder he patted my black leather rear to a dull thudding “Ok Crybaby Sweetheart All fours & follow us (he was putting the pink dog collar on me over the posture collar clipping the leash to that he tugged it up hard) Heal Crybaby !”

I pushed my hood tightly to his leg whimpered then moved forwards with him in time with his steps...”Clever girlie Crybaby that’s the way, Look Mistress Mummy someone’s Very Obedient this morning.....(she giggled) But Am guessing we Will have to see how this morning goes won’t we Crybaby?” I nodded my hood covered head as best I could given the posture collar !

Mistress Mummy pushed the box along side me the feed bag was now half empty swinging obscenely back & forth as we went to the white room, inside they removed the Special leather pants then the Nappy & my maids uniform the Nappy was put into a bucket, then Mistress Mummy remover all the sticky pads. I was so very relieved by this as the shocker therapy was Very unpleasant.

I was made to stand up & hold the over head bar so they could again wash me as I did Mistress Mummy removed the feed gag, as Master Daddy took off my hood, I could now hear properly with the ear plugs out.

Mistress Mummy spoke to me “Clever girlie Crybaby look at You !!! (She giggled as she put the water on I squealed!!) Hush Hush Crybaby Sweetheart we’re only going to wash Babyslave” I squealed due to the sudden sting from my rear as Master Daddy’s “Special Nappy” had worked it’s magic My rear was Red all Over an angry rash that would make any punishment Very painful !!! This was there intention all along as they had Plans for today that would make yesterday seem tame !!!!!....

Mistress Mummy rubbed my rear “Open Wide Crybaby Sweetheart (she forced something wet into my cheeks Deeply) Clever Baby That Keep our girlie Quiet”

She had fed me the pad from yesterday afternoon that had Master Daddy’s seed on it But it was now wet with hot urine !...relaxing now as they both washed me like the day before Very tender the warm urine from my catheter running down my leg she simply plugged it shut for now, smiling at me as the smell of the strawberry soap filled the air, after my shower drying off had me whimsical due to the rash as it was Very sensitive to the touch.

Mistress Mummy opened a bottle of Baby oil then started putting it on my head to toe my whole body glistening in the bright lights.....

“Clever girlie Crybaby that’s You all ready to Play with Mistress Dee so let’s get you into the play room Crybaby !”...

I was Again led by my leash on all fours to the hidden door...as Master Daddy opened it I could see two figures inside dressed in red rubber catsuit’s Mistress Dee...But the other I didn’t recognise she was around five foot 4” heavy built with a Very muscular body she looked around her middle thirty’s But this was not what had me looking at her it was the huge green bag she was next to hung from the ceiling ! With a tube from it that had a double balloon retention enema tube from it with a strange steel base to it ?

They all kissed each other ignoring me.....Mistress Mummy turned to me unfastened my collar & lead....”Now Crybaby Sweetheart You Will Do what You Are Told when You Are Told do I make myself Clear? (I nodded) Clever girlie Crybaby Don’t have us come back in until the girls are Done or there Will be Very serious Implications Crybaby !!!”....They Both simply left the room..

I had not been alone without them both until now & this made me ever more scared as Even although they were Very WKD I had come to feel close to them,but this was different two new Dominant’s I had only met Mistress Dee to have my colonic, as she stepped forward kneeling to cup my chin she spoke..

“Clever girlie Crybaby You just be Obedient & All will be fine.....Now this is Mistress Carla she is my partner You Baby Will Obey Her Ever Word First Time or things will get Very unpleasant for You Pain Toy !....Now crawl to the frame Time to get started Crybaby !!”....Mistress Carla was at the frame opening the neck hoop for me to put my head in, as I straddled the tummy bar Mistress Dee guided my ankles into the waiting rings cold metal shutting around my ankles I knew there was now No escape...prone on the floor in the framework they cuffed my wrists into the rings under my shoulders Mistress Carla without a word pushed the first balloon Deep inside me then inflated it fully, next she inflated the outer balloon sealing my fate...

The metal part was for my cage this she pulled back clipping the two together she then ran a tube to my catheter! Any pee would now go up my rear !!

Opening the valve green fluid flowed into me....she spoke as Mistress Dee got a special hood ready for me....”Crybaby Sweetheart this is a special mix that’s going to help make Baby Very emotional Mummy & Daddy Tell us your quiet the Crybaby But this Sweetheart is a whole different level we are going to really enjoy messing with your headie Crybaby!!” At that she rubbed my sore bottom “Shall we Spank Crybaby Mistress Dee to start her off ?”......Mistress Dee was kneeling at my face “what a great idea Mistress Carla...Open Wide Crybaby Sweetheart (she took out the wet wad giggling) Look Mistress Carla (she held up the cum & piss smoked rag !) Crybaby has been having fun, haven’t You Crybaby? (Wess Mistress Dee) Clever Baby Stay Open Wide!”

She lifted my lower mouth guard pushing it onto my lower teeth firmly, next she lifted my upper guard pushing that in place also Mistress Carla handed her a long waxed looking strip ? This she fed into my cheek pushing firmly pushing so they were wedged behind the guards forcing my mouth to stay Open WIDE ! Mistress Carla handed her a second strip as she did the same with this long wax strip she spoke to me my open further & Fuller “Crybaby Sweetheart this one is from me the first one is from Mistress Carla say thank you Babyslave !”.....as I did Mistress Carla put a bowl underneath my chin.....looking me right in the eyes “Clever girlie Crybaby that’s to catch the liquid at this end Sweetheart!!!!!...

My eyes suddenly bulging at her comments....They could not be serious right ? I mean it could not go all the way through Me...Could it ??......just as that thought hit me so did something else !  The wax strips weren’t wax, they had both spent weeks preparing them for using on me today, they had been toilet wipes over & over until they were so soiled they had become waxed then they had dried them out before starting Over! Tears ran from me now as I realised what Mistress Mummy had told me was true Today was to be Far Far Worse than yesterday’s harsh treatment.....

Mistress Dee rubbed my Tummy “Let’s work this In much Deeper Crybaby Sweetheart......Aaawwww Look Mistress Carla there she is there’s CRYBABY!...spank her Mistress Carla!!” The spanking was not to harshly given by Mistress Carla it did have me whimpering but as the heat grew from this my tummy started making loud noises as small cramps started Mistress Dee lifted a corset putting it around my waist clipping the clasping together she spoke Mistress Carla had stopped spanking me to join her..”Crybaby Sweetheart Your Very Full but given that your pluggie tube won’t be letting anything out of you back there am guessing our Babyslave understands what coming next cutenesses” she started lacing up the corset ! Mistress Carla came to my face “No Crying won’t stop us cutenesses as we want to see our Babyslave in Tears ! So am going to spank you now ..But Crybaby not like before...No am going to spank you Very Hard & Painfully Then cutenesses we are going to take turns flogging that Cute botty....am sure we can find all manner of things to make sure Crybaby can’t sit for Days !!!”

She went behind me & The spankings started heavyweight blows that had me Crying openly in moments....But as Mistress Dee did up the last of the corset a big cramp came..suddenly I felt fluid pass from me as I went to squeal !

They both clapped as the enema fluid ran out of my MOUTH !!!!!!....As the cramping came more fluid flowed over my face into the bowl, tears mixing with the fluid As the room echoed with the sound of My spankings, at first by hand then a flogger a huge heavyweight one ! Next came a belt..they both took time between each stroke until my Struggling stopped before administration of the next painful spank, Last was a robber hoop This really hurt ! So much so Mistress Carla stopped it as Mistress Dee knelt Down at my head..”Come here You noisy girlie Crybaby”

She pushed the new mask over my face as it approached me I could see it had a cock gag the balls were on the outer side ow as hollow ! I wrenched as she pushed it down my throat more fluid poured from me out it’s balls ! As she pulled the rubber taught, pushing the cone ovals up my nose ! The mask had eye holes quite large so they could still see me crying for them...on the outside of the nose cones were two long tear drop shaped plastic ovals with clear tubing from them around 3ft long thir tube she set to a small jar with what looked like a plastic round accordion bellow ?...she then looked up at Mistress Carla “All Ready Darling please continue...Baby is in shush Need of Training”

The next whip from the rubber loop was given with such force I screamed for allI was worth rigging in the bondage framework.But only a dull sound came from me...”Clever girlie Crybaby that’s much better now Pain Toy !”...

Just as it subsided Mistress Mummy walked into the room with a tray, this had two glasses of wine and strawberries & cream....she completely ignored my plight putting the tray Dow she spoke to the girls..”How is she behaving girls ?”

Mistress Dee was first to talk “Not too bad Mistress Mummy...although I have just had to gag her with the cock gag but I used my new mask as you can see so she will realise shortly she should have Not been so noisy !”....Mistress Mummy gigged at her comment turning to look at the mask she knelt Down to look at the severe looking mask, again completely ignored my begging eyes & sobbing....just then Mistress Carla spoke to her “Mistress Mummy why don’t you stay there & have Crybaby look at you as I put her to sleep for a short nap ?”

Yes wonderful idea Mistress Carla.....”Crybaby Sweetheart Look at Mummy...Keep looking at me ..No Matter What.. Ok Baby? (Ga’Ga) Clever Baby..Now !” She lifted a small fork hit it off her hand then held it to my ear...

Wwwwaaaa, Wwwwwwwaaaaa, wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaa. WWWWaaaaaa.

I started Crying out like a real Baby it could be heard even past the cock gag !

I was imitating the lullaby !!! It must have been some sort of hypothesis & the fork was the key seed !

Mistress Carla raised her arm high in the air gave a grunt pulling Down sharply!

At number seven everything went Dark as I passed out to clapping in my ears fading into the distance......

[voidendron]

Deep Blue Sea: Ch 11

Chapter 11: Headcount Subnautica/JSE Egos Crossover

Warnings: Swearing, Vomit Characters: Chase Brody, Marvin the Magnificent, Dr. Schneeplestein, Jackieboy Man, Jameson Jackson POV: Chase Brody

Chase went to scrub at his teary eyes only for his hands to hit the glass of his mask. All he could do was stare at Lifepod Three’s ripped open wall. His team’s fucking Seaglide had exploded. They’d never even gotten a chance to leave the pod.

When his PDA warned him of low oxygen, Chase swallowed and kicked for the surface; his jaw was aching from biting down on the mouthpiece so hard for so long. Every time he felt a sob trying to surface, he’d bite down. It kept him focused enough to keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

He kept Mason’s cracked PDA clutched tight against his chest. It was all he could think to do. The remaining two of his little maintenance team had had a chance. They’d landed—sure, their pod sank, but they’d landed. they’d been alive probably not even two hours ago—and if Chase had just been a little faster to get out here…

Reaching the surface, the man pushed his mask up and scrubbed at his eyes. The water stung them but he frankly couldn’t care even as he knew they’d start turning red. If they weren’t already.

God… Romero had three kids back on one of the Alterra colonies. Did they even know the Aurora had crashed? Who would bring them the news that their mother was probably dead on some alien planet? And—and Mason’s siblings. He was the youngest of four, wasn’t he? Their baby brother was gone. Their families couldn’t even have the closure of burying them because there was just…nothing left.

…Chase’s kids. He was still alive, but…they’d be told he was dead once Alterra realized what happened, wouldn’t they? Or that if he wasn’t, there was no way to get to him. What if he never saw them again?

He bit his tongue when another sob tried to surface.

No, no. Rescue would be sent. Eventually.

Who was he kidding? They were well outside of Alterra space. He—and any other survivors who may be out there—would just have to hope they got lucky and another ship happened through the system to pick up on the Aurora’s likely weak signal.

Back to Five. That’s all you can do now, Brody. The rest of the pods could still be checked. Just because those two hadn’t made it didn’t mean there couldn’t be other survivors.

He’d seen…he’d seen who? Keen. He remembered seeing Keen getting in a pod. …Nineteen? Fuck. If he remembered the coordinates, that would be one of the hardest to reach. His, and the CTO’s and her partner’s, Twelve that he didn’t know who had taken. One of the security guys had gone into one that was pretty deep, too. The rest should be easy(ish?) to get to.

…Hopefully.

That entertainer had taken Pod Four, but he didn’t know who was in the rest. Get back to Five, gather your wits, and get to…Four, he supposed? At least that one was at the surface.

A steadying breath and Chase pulled his mask back down to start the swim back.

He hadn’t even made it completely to his pod when he saw someone else farther out. They looked exhausted and was laying on one of the weird spire-things that stuck out of the shallows almost to the surface.

The entertainer; he recognized the long, dyed hair. It was still partially pulled back, but a lot had come loose and was sticking to the sides of his face and the mask. The man was panting and had a hand over his chest.

All Chase could feel was relief as he abandoned his objective for Five and took off toward the man.

He pushed his mask up, spluttering a little when he splashed himself in the face. “Hey!” he called. “Hey!”

The other man startled and flinched as he bolted upright before his shoulders sagged with relief.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he groaned, letting himself tip backward again so he was laying on the slightly submerged surface.

Chase floundered up onto the jutting stone formation and if it wasn’t for the fact they were both gross and sweaty and didn’t know each other he probably would have hugged the guy right then and there. “Which pod are you from?”

The guy started laughing—actually laughing—and Chase had to wonder if he was okay. “Don’t even try goin’ back there,” he said between, admittedly very tired-sounding, giggles. “That thing’ll swallow you whole.”

“…Huh?”

“The fuckin’…the Reaper. I’ve never seen an animal so goddamn big…” He’d stopped laughing at least; he honestly just looked like he wanted to sleep.

Chase shook his shoulder and dragged the guy into sitting up. “Big?”

“Mhm.” He rubbed at the bump on his head. Looked like he’d hit it pretty hard; Chase subconsciously pressed a hand to his own temple where the loose panel had hit him. “The thing just…I didn’t know somethin’ could be that big.”

A calming breath. Maybe the guy was just in shock or something. Or did he really not want to talk about whatever a “Reaper” was? “Dude. How big?”

“Mandibles longer than you are tall. It dragged my fuckin’ lifepod under the surface like it was nothing.”

Chase blinked. “Uh…dude. There’s no way there’s somethin’ that big out there. You sure you weren’t just panicking?”

That seemed to snap him out of it.

“Panicking?! I’m not fuckin’ exaggerating. That thing dragged Four so damn far down my ears popped. One of its mandibles broke through the pod’s exterior. If I hadn’t had a goddamn decoy I wouldn’t have even made it here.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair and took a steadying breath. “Just…don’t go to Four, okay? That thing’ll fuckin’ kill you.”

Chase’s PDA chirped and he blinked down at it. The entertainer’s had as well.

Close proximity. They were sharing information with each other.

One such bit of information was the Reaper’s file. His heart dropped when he looked it over.

There was no way something that big was on the planet.

…Right?

That made things a whole lot more complicated. Maybe they just…stuck around one area? Hopefully?

At least the other man’s PDA must not have been as damaged as his. A ton of blueprints filtered through that his had been missing.

Chase took a slow breath, then nudged the other man. “I…didn’t catch your name?”

“Uh. Right. Marvin.”

“Chase.”

The handshake was…beyond awkward, to say the least.

“I—”

“Hey!” He could hear a machine and splashing.

Two…no, no, three more survivors. One had a Seaglide (that was probably the machine he heard. no fair, why hadn’t Five been equipped with one?) and…one wasn’t moving. The biggest man, who Chase recognized as one of the ship’s doctors but didn’t know the name of, was more or less on his back and dragging the third man who—Jameson.

Both Chase and Marvin threw themselves off the rock and back into the water to meet the trio. Jameson wasn’t breathing.

“Wh… The fuck happened?!”

“He drowned, what does it look like?” the doctor snapped (great. he was that type of guy). “Open the pod and help get him inside!”

It ended up being the security guy (Jackie, apparently) and Chase who went into the pod with Jameson. Neither of them had been swimming for their lives (technically. Chase wasn’t going to count getting away from those shark-things after knowing what Marvin had faced) or carrying an unconscious passenger, so they had the most energy of the four. Energy would be needed, Chase thought as he swapped places with Jackie for the second time to begin chest compressions.

It wasn’t long into the next swap—Jackie was panting as he pressed down on Jameson’s chest (they were pretty sure they’d broken at least two ribs by that point). they were both exhausted and unsure if the other man would even make it—that the chef spluttered and threw up some water. They hurriedly turned him onto his side so he wouldn’t start choking as he gagged and spat. He didn’t throw up nearly as much water as Chase had been expecting.

Still, he finally let himself breathe with relief.

Jameson’s eyes were glassy and dazed, but he was breathing again. Now they’d just have to keep an eye on him for a while (the doctor had mentioned he could end up with pneumonia) to make sure he was doing all right.

Jackie went to get the doctor and Chase ducked out as soon as…Schneeplestein, that was it, right? he’d go with Schneep, entered the pod.

The remaining three—Chase, Marvin, and Jackie—found their way back to the barely submerged rock formation and sat themselves down.

“Okay.” Jackie looked expectantly between them. He was still carrying the metal rod (apparently it was a broken flare) and had it pressed into the stone so he could lean against it. “Now what?”

“Probably a habitat builder.” Chase gestured out at the setting sun. “Three, max, can be in a pod at once, so we at least need a basic room where we can sleep and start storin’ supplies.”

Marvin furrowed his brows. “But…we’re not gonna be here that long, are we? What about rescue?”

Chase snorted at that. “We’re outside’a Alterra space. Call me cynical but I don’t,” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked, “think anyone’s comin’.”

The color drained from the poor entertainer’s face.

“I mean…” Jackie gestured out at the Aurora. “It’s still mostly in one piece. We’d need radiation suits if what Marvin said is right, but…maybe it’s repairable?” …He looked right at Chase when he said it.

“I’m a repairman, not an engineer. Yu might still be alive, though, so if we find her and Berkeley, then I think we’d have a chance dependin’ on how sever the damage it.”

“Um…what’s the difference..?” Marvin asked.

Chase couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Nonessential maintenance. I repair stuff the engineers can’t be bothered with. Uh…changing light bulbs, fixing doors, makin’ sure intercoms are workin’.”

“…An electrician?”

“Sorta? Repairman’s still a better way to describe it. We’re kinda offtrack, though, guys?”

“Okay, right…” Jackie leaned his forehead against the broken flare. “So where are we starting? Habitat builder, ah..?”

“Seaglides for the red of us, and better air tanks,” Chase answered.

“Rebreathers?” Jackie suggested.

“Yeah. That’s…actually a really good idea. And…I guess just start collectin’ stuff? And we’re gonna need lots of food and purified water. Let’s start with the habitat builder so we can get somewhere for Jameson to properly lay down, then I guess. Go from there?”

#fanfic #jacksepticeye #writersofjack #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #dr. schneeplestein #jackieboy man #jameson jackson #deep blue sea #subnautica crossover #dbs ch11 #blitz indites #swearing / #vomit /

[doomedandstoned]

THAL Pave Way For The Heathen Invasion

~By Billy Goate~

I knew there was something special about this band when I first picked up their trail a few years back and listening to their debut album confirms this. It's especially effective listening in the dead cold of night, I've noticed. You've picked up on a badass stripe of stoner metal known as THAL. The Columbus duo of John "Vince Green" Walker (vox, guitar, bass) and Kevin Hartnell (drums, guitars, synth) proves yet again that the Ohio heavy underground is a definite force of reckoning. THAL's new album is called 'Reach for the Dragon's Eye' (2018), the band's second full-length following 2016's Glitter   (which I remember playing a track from back then on The Doomed & Stoned Podcast).

The new record has THAL continuing to kick major, major behind, but with a renewed sense of purpose and resolve. It's as if Down and Kyuss had met for a handshake and bumped into Acid Bath on the way to the head shop as I listen to a song like, "Under Earth." Others, like "Her Gods Demand War," give us a groovy Goatsnake beat fueled by some genuine Midwestern metal steam. You'll delight in the vocal collaboration with Sophie Steff at this point in the record, a musician I know little about but suspect we'll be hearing more from in the future.

You came here for hard-driving, riff-driven southern-fueled American stoner-doom, though, right? "Thoughtform" scratches that itch and then some, putting it in good company with bands like Pale Divine. There's a purity and simple forthrightness to the music-making here (see: "Soulshank") that pulls in a lot of what I love about Jerry Cantrell's Boggy Depot . The vocals jockey between clean and Neil Fallon dirty. All eight tracks have kept me company on the drive to and from work and I suspect you'll be riding them just as hard.

THAL's Reach For The Dragon's Eye drops Friday, February 16th in digital and CD formats via Argonauta Records. You can hear the record right here, right now on our bitchin' lil blog!

Give ear...

Interviewing THAL's Vince Green

What inspired you guys to start THAL?

I actually never touched a guitar until I was in my 20’s. I was into producing and recording hip-hop back in the 90’s. As I started getting older and maturing, my tastes started to change and I was feeling very limited by the hip-hop genre. Around that time my friend in college introduced me to Clutch and I was immediately hooked. THAT is the kind of music I wanted to make. So I started learning the guitar by playing an acoustic along to Howling Wolf and Muddy Waters records; learning basic chords and such. I also began to digest as much heavy music as I could. Obviously Sabbath was at the top of the list and I also got into Hendrix, Buffalo, Sir Lord Baltimore, Pentagram, The Obsessed, Kyuss and literally hundreds of others -- I have a very large record collection.

Finally, after getting to the point that I felt competent enough to record. I started making heavy music under the THAL name. It was just my solo thing for a few years. I played all the instruments and wrote/sang all of the lyrics. After I met David Jones -- my guitar partner in wytCHord-- and he introduced me to Kevin Hartnell, who came onboard as our drummer. Making the first wytCHord album with those guys was some of the most fun I’ve ever had creating music. In the meantime, I kept writing THAL songs on the side and decided to see if Kevin would have interest in drumming on my next record. He said yes and not only drummed, but provided quite a bit of additional instrumentation including two songs on the album, "Thoughtform" and "Death of the Sun," that are completely his instrumentals. I’m hoping Kevin would like to continue making music as THAL with me and that we can continue to evolve the band.

I know THAL is an acronym, but I thought I’d let you explain its meaning to the readers and tell us exactly how you came up with this for the name of your band.

THAL stands for The Heathens Are Loose. It was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek representation of modern society. Rock & roll is “music for heathens,” right? So I wear the title proudly. I also wanted something that when you broke it down into an acronym sounded primitive and heavy. THAL. As an interesting side note, I recently found out that Thal, Austria is the birthplace of Arnold Schwarzenegger whom I admired greatly as a bodybuilder. Totally unplanned.

You’re no new kids on the block – you’ve been making music for 4 or 5 years, right? Has the band evolved musically, stylistically, thematically from your earliest singles to your last record, ‘Glitter’ (2016), and the new album, ‘Reach For The Dragon’s Eye’ (2018)?

I posted the first THAL song up on YouTube in 2013. Listening to that, I think the biggest thing that has changed is the quality of the recordings. As I’ve added to my arsenal of tools and had more practice, the sound quality gets better each time. Also, I was not as confident vocally in 2013 and was still trying to find my voice. In 2016 Sam Durango of the mighty Rage of Samedi released Glitter on his Voodoo Chamber Records label in Germany. That was a great experience and was the first time a larger group of people were exposed to what I was doing and it was very well received. At this point, I am relatively comfortable with my range and do my best to work within that. I am far from the world’s best singer, so taking more chances with harmony and phrasing has “improved” things, at least in my mind. Ha! Thematically, I think my earlier stuff was more occult based and over time I am reflecting more on the struggles of modern life; although still from an esoteric viewpoint.

I’m really excited about debuting the new album. Can you take some time to walk us through each of the songs and tell us a little something about each? Could be the song’s history and development or meaning.

Absolutely! We are excited and honored that you are debuting the album, so thank you! Keep in mind that I think a song can mean something different to each person, so my intentions when I wrote the song may not match up to the meaning when you hear it and that is 100% okay.

"Rebreather": This is actually the last song we recorded. I was sent a piece of poetry by a friend named Randy Blood. That poem ended up being the words in the chorus and I built the narrative around it. It’s about us as a society being thrown into the deep end of the pool with all the snakes and trying to breathe for as long as we can. The title is homage to an amazing band from Ohio.

"Under Earth": I had written the riffs on this one for another vocalist that I thought I might work with at some point. That ended up not happening and it became the first THAL song that Kevin and I collaborated on. He sent it back to me with drums and a working title of “Under Earth”. Those words conjured images in my mind and it almost wrote itself. Each generation buries meaningful truths before it until we have a false representation of the way some things are meant to be.

"Her Gods Demand War": Ever since I came across Sophie Steff’s Sound Cloud, I wanted to collaborate with her. She has a crystal clear voice that conveys a lot of emotion. I sent her the instrumental along with the title and told her to write what came to her. She recorded that as the chorus and sent it back to me -- all the way from France! It was gorgeous. I wrote my parts around her choruses and added some harmony as well. In addition to the drums, Kevin added the beautiful guitar harmonies. One of my favorite songs on the record.

"ThoughtForm": Kevin sent me an instrumental he had been working on and it felt like Christmas morning to receive this track. Of course I was going to add vocals to it! This song has more groove than any other song on the album and is more about a personal struggle with the world kicking you when you’re down.

"Soulshank": I wrote this song not long after I was out of the hospital. I had just been through a surgery; hence the lyrics “Stick the knife into my soul and twist.” It’s an imagining of someone dying and returning to take the world back from the pieces of garbage that are running it now.

"Death of the Sun": This is the other track where all instruments are played by Kevin. It’s as “soulful” as I’m going to get when I sing. Haha! The concept was Kevin’s about the world ending and the words son/sun being used interchangeably at times. Basically, when the end comes we are all going to be in it together. The time for judging each other is done and whatever is going to happen is going to happen.

"Punish": I don’t normally call people out specifically when I write my music. I prefer to be more metaphorical. But in this case, I will gladly say it is about three pieces of shit (Shawn Whaley, Brandy Shaver and Gary Bubis) that tied a little girl to their truck and dragged her in addition to other abuses. Her mother was also complicit! The story horrified me and broke my heart. This song is basically my hope for their complete and utter destruction.

"Reach For The Dragon’s Eye": The “Dragon’s Eye” is an esoteric representation of knowledge and light, both spiritually and physically. You can assign whatever deity you want -- or no deity at all. Maybe the Dragon is your inner strength. Either way, the Dragon is meant to be a positive although sometimes we must go through a lot of negative to get there. That is what the album is about…ascending against the forces of negativity.

What message are you hoping to get across, if any, through THAL’s sophomore LP?

In the fall of 2016, I was in the hospital for a time and was in pretty bad shape. I had a lot of time to lay there and reflect. With that came internal realizations and “proof” to me of the things that are important in life. At that time, the US election season was in full force with many negative things happening in the United States and the world at large. It’s a helpless feeling seeing the country being manipulated and turning on each other. The only outlet I really have is writing songs, so those thoughts and feelings got tangled up into the lyrics.

How’d you get hooked up with Gero at Argonauta Records?

My good buddy Aaron Wall of the killer band Red Beard Wall is an Argonauta Records artist. I had contacted him for advice on what my next steps should be regarding signing with a label and distribution in general. He was very encouraging and recommended sending the album -- it had already been recorded and mastered at this point -- to Gero, the lead man at Argonauta to see what he thought. About a week later, he reached out and said he would like to sign THAL and put the album out on his label. Gero has been very good to work with. Since he is involved as a musician himself, he knows what it is like on both sides. He is relatively hands off and is all about the artist keeping control of their own music. I still handle my own Bandcamp and he gives advice on when to do certain things, etc. Not to mention, his stable of artists is amazing and Argonauta is the fastest rising label in the underground. It was really a no-brainer for me. It is an honor to be part of the family!

Tell us a bit about the recording, production, and mastering process – who did you work with to lay down tracks, how long did it take, and what instruments, pedals, and amps did you find most helpful in this process?

In terms of who I worked with, the whole thing is DIY. I recorded all guitars, bass and vocal parts in my home studio. Kevin tracked his drums and synths from his home studio (we live about two hours apart). Typically a song will start with a guitar riff idea. I’ll usually program some scratch drums to flesh out the arrangement and record bass parts as well. I’ll do a pre-mix of those tracks so that they sound generally “right” and then send the files to Kevin. He will track drums and additional parts on top. He will then do a more final mix of the whole instrumental and send those files back over to me. I then have the instrumental to write and record vocals over. I will do a final tweak to the mix, make sure the vocals are sitting correctly and then I will master the mix in my studio. I use a combination of rack gear and a software called Ozone for mastering. Everything is tracked in Cubase.

My go-to guitars are Les Pauls. I have a 2013 Gibson Tobacco Burst, a '77 Ibanez Custom and an Epiphone Les Paul Custom Silverburst that I am in the process of modifying. The low end comes from a black Squier Classic 70’s Precision Bass run directly into the board through an Ampeg DI box. An Orange OR50 stack and a 70’s Sunn Concert Lead are my workhorse amps, although I recently acquired a 100 watt Marshall DSL head and 4x12 cab that I am falling in love with. As far as pedals go, I use mostly Black Arts Toneworks for my dirt (Pharaoh Fuzz, Black Forest, Oath, Boneshaker), a Jimi Hendrix Crybaby Wah, and a Carbon Copy delay, EHX Small Stone and Small Clone for phaser/chorus effects. Kevin’s drum kit is a Tama with Zildjian and Paiste cymbals, and Vic Firth drum sticks. He uses a Korg Triton for keyboard parts.

What is in THAL’s crystal ball for 2018 and beyond?

I will always make music as THAL. It started out as a solo thing for me to get my musical ideas out and has now grown to include an outstanding drummer/multi-instrumentalist. I like how things are developing organically at their own pace. It is possible that we continue to add members such as a bassist and a second guitarist. Possibly some regional shows? The most satisfying part for me is the songwriting and recording process. It is truly a release. Reach For The Dragon’s Eye comes out on February 16th. After that, we may take a short break but we’ve already thrown a couple of new ideas back and forth. It wouldn’t surprise me if we released another album or EP by the end of this year. Otherwise, 2019 for sure. We want to thank our beautiful families and friends including everyone that has shown us support by purchasing an album, writing a review, or leaving us encouraging messages. Thank you Doomed & Stoned for highlighting what we are doing and for spreading the word about great music for as long as you have. Getting respect from those that appreciate music is the best part of the whole thing!

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#D&S Debuts #D&S Interviews #D&S Reviews #THAL #Colombus #Ohio #Doom #Sludge #Metal #Doom Metal #Stoner Rock #Argonauta Records #Doomed & Stoned

[prettyflyforasuperboy-blog]

YouTube’s Gonna Love This || Conner and Kaldur

Kaldur didn't mind stakeouts. As long as he worked with the right partner. He and Conner had brought Garfield along ​once​ because of his abilities but the boy had been Snapchatting the whole thing. The criminals of course had seen it and known they were coming. That was the day Kaldur discovered bullets really hurt. So this evening it was just him and Conner and he was pleased with it. It's been a few days and his hangover had finally gone away and when Batman had delivered the assignment he leaped at it. Apparently two young men were more inconspicuous than Clark and Bats trying to blend in. He drummed his thumbs against the dossier while waiting for Conner to arrive. They'd decided to arrive at the car separately because it looked less suspicious. When he finally heard the car door open he grinned lopsidedly. "I have the refreshments, the dossier, and some music. This shouldn't be too bad. Information gathering never is. How was class?"

Conner had been busy with class, yet when Clark himself had asked him for his help he had once more felt as if he couldn't say anything but yes. Not that he couldn't say no to Clark, it was just that he could be doing something else with his time. But if anything this was worth it. With nothing to do but sit in the car for the next twelve hours, he could get stuck into a huge stack of equations and formulae that he had to work out for a physics module he had enrolled in on a whim. Little did he know that physics would be more difficult than he had imagined, yet regardless he wasn't about to quit. "I've not even read the dossier yet," he grunted as he closed the door behind him and slid into his seat, at least it wasn't going to be ​too​ cramped, he thought. The car was relatively spacious and whilst a van would've been ideal, they couldn't really justify one for the mission. So a car had to do. "My class was fine, mind boggling stuff, but fine. How about yours?" he asked, smiling gently at his friend.

Since both of them were large men: Kaldur was tall and lanky and Conner was a brick wall made flesh, he wished they'd been able to have a van for the mission. However they found themselves instead in an SUV rigged with technology to rival the batmobile. At least this one had leg room. "You are not missing much." Kaldur offered as he unscrewed the top off a bottle of water. "See who comes in. See who comes out. See how long they're in there for. The car will notify us when there is movement, we just have to mark down who triggered the movement alarm. Rudimentary stakeout to be sure." He nodded along as Conner talked about his class, knowing full well he'd have a stack of homework to rival Kaldur's "we are attempting our own individual translations of The Odyssey. It will occupy much of my time for at least a month. But in an uncharacteristic act of kindness my professor has made it the only homework for that particular class." He tucked a mechanical pretzel behind his ear and looked at the clock on the dashboard. "Ten pm on the nose. Let the twelve hour countdown commence."

Chuckling gently, ​Conner​ scooped up the dossier and read it quickly. It was a lowkey, surveillance mission. They were not to engage unless they were engaged first and Conner had no desire to get in a fight with the bad guys today. They might've been two of the more powerful and not to mention experienced fighters within the team, but that didn't mean that they were infalliable and they might well be out gunned here. Besides, this was an easy mission, basically an extended study session with the occasional chore as long as everything went to plan and Conner saw reason why it shouldn't. "This is a real interesting read," he murmured as he flicked through it, "a real page turner." They had basically been given no information, but this assignment came directly from Batman and that usually meant that it was important. "Well that sounds riveting!" he exclaimed, "Incredibly interesting really!" he shook his head gently and smirked. "Twelve hours of fun!" he exclaimed somewhat sarcastically.

Kaldur cracked a broader and more luminous grin at Conner's sarcasm, gills flaring as he laughed. Truth be told he agreed with the assessment. This was a startlingly easy assignment to give to the two most senior members of the team, but he wasn't complaining. Being on assignment meant he couldn't be bothered by other members of the team, it left him time with homework and Conner. At least one of those was his favorite "I can hear the sarcasm in your voice. We do have that in Atlantis as well." He spread books out on his lap; the original Greek, a lexicon, and balanced his notebook with nascent translation on top of them. "At least this car is sizable. Remember the Sacramento stakeout? They put the two of us in a Mini. Most cramped I believe I have ever been in my life." His pencil scratched away at the page as he kept one eye on the building's sole entrance and one on his homework "This seems palatial in comparison."

Shrugging gently, ​Conner​ dug an iPad out of his bag and began to bring up the work on it that he needed to do. They were in Chicago, not in the worst neighbourhood in the city, but certainly not in the best one either. There were the small tell tale signs of poverty all around them, over years and after many many training exercises, Conner had become adept at judging his environment after one glance. "I'm not complaining," he replied with a smirk, "being here with you is better than nothing and some of the best missions that I've ever had are the most boring ones." He hoped that this was boring, he hoped that this nice if not slightly run down neighbourhood was safe from whatever crime they thought was going on here. Too many times entire blocks were ruined just because they were the location of a meeting that concerned the Justice League and although Conner believed in what they were doing there was far too much collateral damage for his liking. "It isn't the flyer," he admitted, "but things could certainly be worse, I'm glad that Batman found it prudent to give us all of the best tech, that mini didn't even have basic defensive functions." He shrugged, happy with his lot in life as he began tapping away on his iPad. "We'll make do my friend," he said with a smile.

Listening to the tapping of Conner's fingers on the iPad he'd brought with him Kal smiled. Even working it was easy to be around the other hero. It's what made their partnership work so well on and off the field. "I feel like the mini was punishment for something though for the life of me I cannot comprehend what." He chewed idly on the end of his pencil while flipping through the lexicon for a word that fit what he thought the author was trying to say "We always make do. It is our trademark." He kept scratching away, neat handwriting filling the gridded paper, occasionally making note of someone entering or exiting what he assumed was a gang headquarters. "Queen Meera would like to know if you are coming down for Atlantis day. I told her I would ask." He took another drink of his water and looked over at Conner's iPad "That looks hellishly difficult." The numbers swam in front of him and he couldn't make hide nor hair of them "I do not know how you manage all of that."

Conner had started getting into the flow of the work and was in the middle of a particularly difficult piece of quadratic formula when Kaldur next spoke. "Surviving for the next stakeout," he said as he watched a man with a dark jacket and broad shoulders enter the building, he made a note before turning back to his work. He had no clue what the building was, by all appearances it was a block of apartments that could do with a new coat of paint, but what was going on behind closed doors was another matter entirely. "I should be able to go," he admitted, knowing the date was coming up soon, Conner had scheduled some time off work for the festivities. He tried to go every year, it was an important festival for his friend and he would've hated the idea that he wasn't there to support him. "Tell her that I'd be delighted to come and that I'll make every effort to attend." He smiled gently and shrugged, "I could say the same for your work."

Rummaging through the cooler he'd put in the back seat Kal grabbed a bag of carrot sticks and started to eat them as they worked. There was music playing in the background, he'd put it on before Conner had arrived and hadn't turned it off when his friend had gotten in the car. It was quiet enough not to be a nuisance and if it was, Conner would turn it off "She will be delighted. She adores you." His pencil flew across the page as he parsed a tricky sentence into something resembling the original poetry, a pleased smile creeping across his face. "We will only stay for the parade and the feast. I know what trouble a rebreather is." His laugh cut across the car at Conner's comment "it is not so bad. It is a puzzle. I like puzzles. I have to tread the fine line between making it understandable English and keeping the authors original poetry and intent. It is fun for me. I cannot imagine pursuing another major."

Grabbing a carrot stick out of the bag, ​Conner​ thoughtfully crunched on the snack as they both worked their way through their pile of homework. This was nothing more than a weirdly situated study session. At least that was what he was hoping. Hopefully the stakeout would go well and they wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of whoever they were spying on finding out that they were spying on them. This was about as normal as things got for Conner and he was beyond grateful for this time to relax, work and spend time with his best friend. "I am delighted for the invite, I adore your mentors Kaldur," he said with a smile, "you got the kindest of the mentors." He shrugged gently before turning back to his iPad. "They've developed a new line of re-breathers that Green Arrow and Batman promise me are much more convenient. You place them over your bottom lip and they form a film between your mouth and the water, I've yet to try one but apparently they are much more comfortable for wearing, so hopefully we will be able to stay longer." He smiled gently and shrugged. "I can understand your position, Mathematics is similar I guess."

Setting the carrot sticks between them Kaldur grabbed a fourth book from his bag and balanced it against the steering wheel, trying to read in the dim light before grunting and acquiescence to his body's limitations and sliding a pair of wire framed glasses on his face, cross referencing several things at once "and they adore you. They perhaps like you better than me. They certainly think you are the most polite surface dweller they have ever met." He cracked a grin and turned to Conner "Careful. She is already asking for your measurements. Appear to eager and you might end up with one of these too." He tapped a nail against the small ornate piercing hanging from his septum, the carefully styled gold a gift from the King and Queen. "Then you will truly be one of us." Three sketchy looking men entered the building and Kal made a note of it before returning to his work "We each have our fortes, to be sure. Math has just never been mine. I find you singularly impressive."

Smiling gently ​Conner​ kept working through his homework. Things weren't exactly difficult, but it was tedious work and far from the most interesting type of mathematics that he had ever done. Yet he was somewhat content, enjoying himself as much as he could when it came to this point. Looking at his friend, he smiled gently and looked up from his work. The dim light was fading fast now and it wouldn't be long before they weren't able to see anything more than the outlines of each other But he didn't mind, he was enjoying himself. "You think that they like me better than you?" he asked, scoffing gently as he did, "Clark and Lois won't shut up about what a nice young man you are, I'm pretty sure they are considering adoption." He laughed and shrugged. "I never thought that a septum would suit me," he admitted with a smile. "I think that I would need gills before you could consider me Atlantean," he said with a laugh.

"I think they look upon you with tremendous favor." His voice held no ill will, Kaldur wanted his adoptive family to like his best friend, so the fact that they did made him incredibly happy. He laughed again, sliding his glasses off and resigning himsf to the fact that he couldn't see his books anymore. "Clark and Lois have only ever seen my genial and polite side. I am sure they would reconsider if they were to live with me for any extended period of time." He cocked his head and looked at Conner in the dying light "I think you could pull it off. Yours would have to be silver, of course, but gills or no you are certainly an honorary Atlantean."

"I am grateful for their respect and reverance, it means a lot coming from the adoptive family of my best friend." ​Conner had truly developed a healthy respect for the Atlantean court and that was almost exclusively due to his friend. He fiddled with one of the rings in his ear and shrugged. "Perhaps, but even when you've had three hours of sleep and have been fighting for most of the night you somehow manage to be one of the most level headed and calm people that I have had the pleasure to meet." He smiled and tapped on the glass. It wasn't that late but their stakeout had only just begun. The problem with stake outs that Conner found was that he was often tired from the day and staying awake for the next nine hours was going to be tough. "I'll have to pass," he said finally, "getting a piercer who is able to properly pierce me is already enough of a pain."

"They appreciate all you have done in defense of our society and culture. Atlantis would have fallen several times had it not been for your assistance." Kaldur adored his culture, and it meant a lot to him that Conner went out of his way to involve himself in Conner's home and the customs it held. "Years of being trained by the King and his commanders. It teaches one that equipoise is the key to moving through life. Regardless of the circumstances around you that you cannot control, the one thing you can control is how you react to it." Stowing all of his books in his bag he sighed and leaned back in his chair, watching the door they had been tasked to observe. Without the aid of light it was going to be a long night. The length was ameliorated somewhat by Conner's presence though. He chewed idly on a fingernail and chuffed a quiet laugh, "Standing offer. The King's Guard would be happy to have you. Like all things, they'd be better with you."

"Whilst I'm flattered by the compliment and I appreciate it to an extent that I doubt you fully understand, I don't think it is fair to say that my sole involvement in the three to four battles I've participated in when near Atlantis is what prevented defeat," ​Conner​ said with a gentle smirk, "but I appreciate what you're getting at," he shook his head gently and smiled. "Yeah," he grunted, "what you just said. That." He didn't need to be the most eloquent person around, he didn't need to always have the last word, Kaldur was easily more than capable of that. "Thanks, but I'm not sure that Martha and Jonathan could cope with me coming home with another piercing or anything too radically different to what he had left the farm with. His adoptive pseudo parent / grandmother was resistant to his hair cut and he had been getting it cut like that for well over a year.

"The truth is never a compliment, Conner. It simply is." With a finality that made his opinion iron clad and unmistakable he flowed onto the next conversation topic, looking through the gloom at Conner's various and sundry piercings. Kaldur had never been one for personal ornamentation like some of his Atlantean compatriots were. The golden septum piercing that was the mark of a battlemage of the King's Guard, and the tattoos that helped him channel his water magic were the only permanent adornments he opted for, but Conner positively glittered with piercings. Coupled with a flashier haircut than Kaldur could have ever driven himself to get, the Kryptonian presented a grander picture than his more slender Atlantean best friend. "No wonder your family thinks so highly of me, if personal adornment is cause for alarm for them. I am more understated with it than you are, to be certain." He flashed a smile and drank more of his water, taking note of someone leaving the building, "I enjoyed myself the other night, when you and I drank far too much and watched the stars. Again, thank you for spending that time with me."

"Then how do you manage to make every little piece of the ‘truth’ that you tell me be positive about me?" ​Conner​ said with a chuckle. Kaldur had a wonderful way of making the truth support you. Of all the people that he spent lots of time with, Kaldur was one of the most positive and supportive presences in his life. Always driving him to strive for greater than he thought was possible, always pushing him to be the very best person that he could be. It was something that he would appreciate for his whole life, he was certain that Kaldur was the reason that he was the person that he was today and one day, when he was older Kaldur would be the reason he was the man that he was on that day. "Yes, well the smooth talking and complicated vocab probably helps too," he replied with a smirk as he yawned and reached into his bag and pulled out a flask of hot coffee, pouring out two cups and handing one to his friend. "It was my pleasure, thank you for the drinks although my hangover the next day was lethal."

"You absolutely do. I have slept near you on enough occasions to know for a fact that you do. I believe Garfield has a recording of it, actually." Kal's fingers tapped against the warm exterior of his mug before he shrugged "Be that as it may... the world is hard enough on us without me compounding that. If I have an opportunity to remind you of your positive attributes I think I will take it." Crunching thoughtfully on another carrot stick he kept his gaze on the door as Conner grabbed goggles. "Fishy indeed." Glancing down at the notes he'd been taking on the tablet batman had given them he ran a quick tally in his head "twenty-five people have entered and only three of them have come out again. Someone is having a staff meeting and I do not believe they are called together to discuss the HR policy on workplace romance."

"Psht," Conner waved his hand idly and shrugged gently. "That sounds fake, I'm almost completely certain that it is something that definitely didn't happen." He shrugged gently and shook his head. "But I guess I should just say thanks instead?" he said with a smirk. Grabbing a pickle from the snack pot, he held it between his two fingers thoughtfully before slipping it into his mouth and chewing on it slowly. "Do you think that we should take a closer look?" he asked with a gentle frown as he looked down at the dossier. Their orders had been very very clear that they were not to engage with the criminals, but Conner wasn't sure he could help himself. "Maybe we should just take a peak?"

"It was his ringtone for awhile. I believe it was M'Gann that made him change it because she could not bear the sound of your snores every time someone texted him.... which is frequently. I do not know how he has time for such a burgeoning social life in between missions but somehow his phone is constantly ringing. Now it is a song about a unicorn in space.... but it previously was the dulcet tones of you snoring on that mission in Madagascar." Kaldur crunched loudly on dried seaweed chips (something he'd had to bring back in bulk from his last trip to Atlantis since nobody sold them on the surface) and looked over at Conner with his brow furrowed, "As the team member in command I am required to remind you that our implicit orders were to stay in the car for routine surveillance only. As your best friend and sword-brother though..... I am cramped. I could to with stretching my legs for awhile. Close surveillance only. No combat unless absolutely necessary."

Conner laughed gently, shaking his head and fiddling with one of his piercings gently. "I'm touched that he actually went to all that effort," he said with a smirk. He knew that he probably did snore, that was why when the team were on a mission and in close confines, he always made sure that he was the last one to go to sleep. He didn't want to keep them up. Though Conner didn't need to be told twice, he got out the car and crossed the street to the front of the building, pulling out a pack of cigarettes -- of course he didn't normally smoke, but every once in a while you had to improvise and the number of times a pack of cigarettes had helped with that was unbelievable -- and lighting one up as he leaned on the wall and did the best that he could to listen into the building. He didn't have Superman's hearing, but he could hear a bit better than most. "What do you think?" he asked as he struggled to hear anything but the general noise of the street.

Kaldur crept silently across the roof of the warehouse as Conner got into position with his pack of cigarettes, "I am also obligated to remind you" he murmured into the comms, sliding from one shadow to another, glad he'd opted for black jeans and a dark shirt, "That smoking is a filthy habit and Kryptonian biology or no it is detrimental to your health." Positioning himself near a vent he managed to get half a view of the interior of the building "I think I was correct. I can see a large table and people around it. However, I cannot hear anything because of the noise of traffic." A quick scan of the roof revealed several options for ingress and Kaldur heaved a sigh, this was getting farther and farther away from the parameters of the mission and Kaldur was reminded of a mission in an underwater base where he'd deviated from mission parameters. It had been a bloodbath and he had had an unfortunate lecture from Batman after it. "I can gain entry unseen. But can you hear anything?"

Straining his ears nearly to the point of ignoring his other senses, ​Conner​ was all but pressing his ear to the wall and at this point he was convinced that they must have sound proofing or something. Either way he could only hear some muffled whispers. "Don't worry," he said ashing the cigarette and gently struggling not to choke on the smoke that was leaking out of the cigarette, "I think I'll manage to quit on my own." He was tempted to just jump onto the roof and have a look himself. "I can't hear anything, if you want to learn more without having to be stuck in the snore-mobile all night then this is probably going to be our best shot.

"Fine. But I am not explaining to Martha why you smell like cigarette smoke. She likes me. I will not sully that with your bad habits." Kaldur started to slide towards a very large air vent and unscrew the fasteners holding the grate in place, "Fuck" he only swore infrequently, because he felt it was below him as a leader of the group, but it had been a long long time since he had been worried about what Conner thought of him, "Please remember that if I die, you are in charge of the group and my remains should be delivered back to Atlantis so they can be buried properly and I can pass into the Deep Trench." He wedged himself into the airvent and started to slither forward as silently as he could "Please do not tell His Majesty that I wedged myself into an air vent for information. It is not befitting a member of the Kings Guard."

Raising his eyebrow gently, ​Conner​ reached out and scratched the tip of his chin thoughtfully. Ashing his cigarette once more gently and taking a long drag before exhaling gently. "I don't go back to the farm when I have to smoke, and it isn't like I smoke frequently," he said shrugging gently, "what can I do? I'm young, dumb and full of fun. Besides, I'd not go anywhere near smallville, or even metropolis, Clark would definitely have a stern word with me." He sighed at Kaldur's unnecessary dramatics. "If you're going to die then hold off and swap with me, I'm bullet proof and I would much rather not have to lead the team. That just isn't me."

Kaldur managed a chuckle as he rounded a tight bend in the vent "We are indeed young and dumb and full of fun. Though I think my only vice is drinking. Drinking and moderate pornography use." The murmur of voices grew louder and louder until he could understand what people were saying through a nearby grate. He stopped moving, concerned that if he scooted close enough to see through the vent he himself would be uncovered. "Too late." He hissed as quietly as he could while still having the comm pick up his voice, "I am here and close enough to hear what they are saying. Is my mic picking this up? You should record this so we can present it to the League."

"What about the insufferable sense of justice and absolute right in every situation?" ​Conner​ asked somewhat sarcastically, he didn't particularly care what his friends vices were. He could be a drug addict and it wouldn't change the way that Conner felt about him. "Well you kept going forward in the vent, you should have gone the other way!" he exclaimed with a laugh. Straining his ears he switched their comms onto a mode that would record everything except what they said. "I can just about hear it," he murmured, listening to them discuss what appeared to be shipments, though they weren't exactly being specific about when they were coming in. A gruff voice was picked up, ​"... the shipment from Metropolis is right on schedule and the shipment from Gotham will be delayed for three more days, but that shouldn't affect our plans too much."

"Once again my lithe form works to our advantage. I am fairly certain you could not have made it around the first bend let alone the several I had to make to get here." Kaldur’s eyes rolled sarcastically at Conner's questionable compliment "I cannot be ​your​ best man if you refuse to take control of the team. Definitionally I am my own best man right now which seems needlessly conceited to me." His mind raced with possibilities as Conner's voiced filtered into his ear, "You are correct, they are not. After the raid we conducted in conjunction with the League last month nobody has had the chance to build up their facilities enough to start production on a mass scale again. Which means they are importing." Curled up into a tiny ball in the air vent he thought for a split second, "We cannot act yet. We need more information about what they are bringing in and how they are dispersing it. But once we have that information we should attempt to capture as many of them as we can. Whatever this plan is it cannot be allowed to come to fruition."

Conner nodded gently and moved back to the car. "Well we can all be ​lithe​," he replied exasperatedly, "some of us have to be big and broad." He smirked gently as he moved to the trunk and he tapped in the code on a holographic key pad that shone out of the handle of the trunk. Popping it open, he typed in another code and grabbed a large box. Pulling it open he placed it on the ground and popped it open. Grabbing the large frame he moved back to the door of the apartment building and placed it over the frame of the door. "You know that I have no problems working in conjunction with you and telling you what to do once in a while, making you my best man in this instance, but there are plenty of other candidates who would be perfect for leading the team. Miss Martian, Red Robin and Tigress are all more than qualified." Pressing a button he watched as a large force field vibrated into life before his eyes. Perfect. A second later and he was climbing up to the fire escape, it was the only exit now. "See what else you can learn," he said with a smile as he pulled himself over the ledge and onto the roof of the building, "I've secured the front exit with the portable force field emitters so they'll have no choice but to move out of the fire escape, when we know enough I suggest that we spook them and then drive them up, you can then take them from behind and I'll take them from the front."

Kaldur couldn't help but roll his eyes again "yes yes you are built like a brick wall and are convenient when I need a human shield to hide behind." He chose to ignore the old argument about leadership for the moment. Carefully listening he gleaned as much information as he could from the meeting while Conner's voice whispered a plan in his ear. "They are importing a manufactured toxin designed to force everyone into a hallucinatory state; making the city defenseless for a mass robbery and crime spree. It sounds much like the work of the Scarecrow though they have not mentioned him by name yet. They last shipment they need is arriving tomorrow night. I suggest at this point we attempt to capture as many as we can which means I am about to make a dramatic entrance from his air duct. Are you ready for incoming?"

"​Convenient?!​" ​Conner​ screeched down the microphone, "is that all I am to you?" he asked, faking a sob, "A convenient piece of cover?" He smirked and squared up in front of the door, he would work as a barrier and prevent anyone from escaping. Reaching up and adjusting the ring that was in his cartilage of his right ear so that it sat more comfortably around his headset. "So it is either the work of Dr Crane or a copycat. That is all we need to know," he said, knowing that Clark was going to give him the telling off of a life time at the end of this. But he didn't care, they needed to act and if they didn't act then that could lead to a disaster. "I'm ready for incoming," Conner confirmed with a smirk, cracking his knuckles, "I hope you do something funny, the last time you burst out of an air duct it got over a million views on YouTube."

"The minute your muscles start to go I have no more use for you." Kaldur teased, wriggling as silently as possible to get the water bearers out of their sheaths on his back. "Nothing but a piece of attractive meat to me." His finger tapped against the ring in his nose; partially out of habit and partially out of a need to call to mind everything that made the King's Guard, and him, great. "Well if I can get a million and a half i will consider this mission a success." A quick twist and a quirk of thought brought razor sharp water through the metal and he tumbled gracefully down into the middle of the conference table their targets were seated around "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am Aqualad and you have two choices. Death or surrender. This building is surrounded so please make this easy on yourselves and come quietly." He knew they wouldn't. But he liked to try.

"I knew it!" ​Conner​ exclaimed down the comms, "I knew that you were forgetting my anniversary!" he said with fake tragedy tinging his voice. "Well since you've admitted that you're only in it for the sex, well then we're not getting anymore sex until we've sorted this out, you're not getting any of this sugar." He laughed to himself and pushed his hair out of his face. Balling his fists, he slid his feet backwards and lowered his center of gravity, preparing himself in front of the fire exit as he heard metal clang and knew that Kaldur must be starting his assault and that it wouldn't be long before they found out that the front exit wasn't an option. "Death or surrender," he said with a smirk, "that was a very nice touch."

"You mock, sir." Kal muttered as he waited for the stunned assemblage to make up their minds, "But Atlanteans frequently exchange gifts on the anniversaries of friendships. Ours is July 27th... in case you were wondering." As there was a sudden mad rush for the exits Kaldur hopped off the table and gave chase, knocking a burly man unconscious as he ran past, "Was it? It felt a little heavy handed. They are coming your way by the by. One has already been knocked unconscious and I can probably have four more down before they hit the fire escape." He fought to make good on his promise, water bearers transforming from weapon to weapon as suited the situation he found himself in, "Hopefully we can get through this one without killing anyone."

Smirking gently, ​Conner​ shook his head. "I knew that, I count it as both my birthday and the day that I met you, Dick and Wally." He smirked gently, Atlanteans had strange customs by all accounts, at least compared to other groups of people, but that didn't mean that he didn't love them just as much as almost anyone else. The Atlanteans were almost a second people to him, they were always there for him, always accepting when no one else would. "But then again," he said with a smile, "you already knew that too." He laughed gently as he took a breath and watched the fire door slam open. A gun was raised and the bullets bounced off of his chest. "This is a new t-shirt!" he exclaimed with a shake of his head. Grunting he lunged forwards and knocked his first opponent out with one strike. "Ready to surrender?" he asked with a smirk.

"Of course I knew that." Kaldur huffed out as he rounded a corner, the water under his control spinning into a mace allowing him the club a man with a gun out of his way, "It is why I buy you presents every year on that day." Leaping over the slack body of an enemy combatant he vaulted out the fire escape as quickly as he could, just in time to see Conner lament his ruined new t-shirt and take someone out, "I will buy you a new t-shirt if we pull this off successfully." He grinned, tripping someone and waving at his friend, "But for now, there is rubbish to clean up and a story to figure out. Since I am sure my King will threaten to lock my in a trench below for this." He winced as a knife found its target, lodging in his side, "Rude. Exceedingly rude." He knocked the woman out and moved onto his next target

Whirling around, ​Conner​ grabbed a criminal by their ankles and used them as a battering ram, knocking enemies over left and right. Once upon a time he had exclusively relied upon his brute force and his strength to get him through, but as he had fought more and more villains he had learnt that you can't always trust that you'll be the strongest person in the room. So he had taken up a few martial arts and he was putting them to good use now. Leaping over to Kaldur's side as he saw the knife lodge into his side, he knocked another person out and knew that the League would've noticed this fight by now and that they'd be on their way. He hoped that they sent a Green Lantern. Or Wonder Woman. Hell Batman would be better than Clark showing up right now. "Are you ok?" he asked, fighting back to back with his friend. "There aren't many of them left now." Five by his count.

Kaldur watched with no small amount of amazement as Conner grabbed a poor criminal and used them as an implement of destruction, "That poor man." He murmured as he tossed the knife out of his side and chucked it to the side, "I am fine. It is not the first time I have been stabbed this year and I am sure it will not be the last." He nodded in agreement at Conner's assessment that there weren't many left, "We should have this wrapped up before anybody shows up. It will help to ameliorate the large amount of yelling that is about to come our way." He tucked and rolled behind someone, lashing out with a leg to trip them before knocking them out with the hilt of his weapons, "This would be phenomenally easier on us all..." He called out over the din of battle, "If you simply surrendered to us. You are human.... neither of us are. So... this fight is not stacked in your favor."

Conner watched as Kaldur spun back into action, his water bearers a blur of blue light as he knocked their number from five down to four. They were a motley crew. Two big white guys that looked like they were members of the KKK. Kaldur kicking their ass must really be beating them up because they charged at the pair of them and before they could even react Conner and Kaldur had swiftly dealt with them. That left a small girl with a buzz cut and a weird tattoo under her chin and to her left was a skinny boy with greasy hair. Holding out their wrists, they collapsed to the floor and it was obvious that they had realised that this was a fight that they were not going to win. "I want a deal," the girl pleaded, her face stony. Conner was surprised, he didn't usually hear a criminal breaking their apparent code of honour and trying to rat out the other members of their gang. "That will help," Conner said to Kaldur as he slipped magnetic cuffs onto both of them, "she'll be able to give us all the information that we need." He smiled gently and looked at the sky. They were just in time to see a figure in a blue onesie shooting through the clouds. "Great." He muttered under his breath.

Kaldur narrowed his eyes in disbelief as the two remaining combatants sank to their knees in surrender. "I am going to bind you now. If this is some attempt at a ruse please know that I will knock you unconscious. It will not be gentle." He pulled restraints out and immobilized both of them before returning to Conner's side, tearing off a strip of the man's ruined t-shirt to hold against his wound, "The deal will be as follows. You will turn evidence against the attendees of the meeting you were just at. In exchange for this you will still go to prison. It will be a prison not filled with the people you just turned against and it will be for a slightly shortened sentence. There will be no negotiation." He looked up at the sky when Conner did, brow furrowing as the blue streak grew closer, "Oh look.... ​He​ is here. Not who I wanted to see right now if I am completely honest with you."

Conner smirked gently as they locked the two criminals up and he couldn't help but wonder why they would take this risk. Either way, it was a blessing in disguise. "Kaldur," he said with a sigh, "you know he could hear what we were saying if he wanted to," he paused and looked at the prisoners. "I'll go talk to him, you make sure these guys are secure and in transit." Straightening what was left of his t-shirt he sighed gently and made his way towards the blue streak.

#para #p: kaldur #chatzy para #YouTube's Gonna Love This

[texasparamedicine]

Twilight Zone

I had recently moved 5 hours across the state to a town I knew virtually nothing about, and had taken a very low paying job at a transfer service until I could learn the area and sniff out a good 911 job. Unfortunately for me, this meant that I became that guy who was just passing through what at the time was a fairly large but highly disorganized company, and I was totally surrounded by EMT-Basic lifers in the seedy underworld of transfer. 

That time period of my life I met an army of EMT’s that were each complete oddball characters completely deserving of their own Stephen King novel. There was one run down station in town that would no lie house up to 20 Basics during the day while they did the dialysis game. They all hated paramedics or were desperately trying to become one; a very love and hate relationship. Because medics were rare in that inexperienced environment, they typically were/are reserved for ER calls and long distance transports where the company can actually make more than a few hundred bucks off the insurance billing. The station was just so overrun with people it was insane. If you got off the couch to go to the bathroom, someone would steal your seat. I was even sleeping one night in a closet (they had made a closet a bunk room with twin beds so close to each other you couldn’t walk between them) and someone stole my bed when I made a bathroom pit stop at 2 a.m. Yes, someone took the sheets off my bed and fell asleep in the time it took me to pee. And then, of course, I nearly murdered them. After arguing my bed back and cursing at each other in the dark, while others told us to shut up since we were disrupting everyone’s sleep, I laid back down for about ten minutes before I got dispatched on a call, and the bed thieve was ecstatic because he got to reclaim his stolen property.

Most of the employees left within six months and I was no different. But what was baffling were the people that had been there for years. By some cruel twist of fate, I ended up working a few shifts with a certain lifer that may go down in history as the worst Basic partner I’ve ever had; possibly the worst Basic licensed in the state of Texas. (There are so many candidates for that award though, it’s all subjective at this point I guess). She was in her mid 20′s and weighed close to 350 lbs. We were doing our truck check off in the morning and it was very evident, no matter what truck we were on, that not a single crew member apparently knew what exactly a truck check off meant, since half of the truck supplies and state minimums were clearly nowhere to be found. I was calling off supply counts to my partner and she was doing the universal partner ritual of staring down at her phone while completely ignoring me. I just started making up numbers and she never looked at me, but what she would do is stick her hand in a stack of non-rebreather masks and crinkle the plastic wrapper to make it sound like she was being productive. When she finally saw that I was staring at her the whole time, there was no acknowledgement of poor work ethic, or ownership, no, she got out of the back and said she was gonna go take a shit. She and apparently every male partner I’ve ever had since, had some form of bowel problem. 

So, as noted, my morning that day was starting off nicely, when we got dispatched to a rural location over an hour away to take a middle aged man to a nursing home for hospice care. We got alerted of calls through a cell phone, which of course had poor signal inside the building. Naturally, you would get in trouble if you didn’t go en route within a certain time frame, but the problem was dispatch could only hear us when we were backing out of the parking lot. I waited like usual for my partner to show up but she didn’t, so when I found her, post dump, she was sleeping in an upright position on the couch in the crowded day room. We ended up going en route a wee bit late, and had a long uneventful conversation free drive to this residence that we found via GPS. It was a completely wooden cabin with several stairs going up to the front porch. We make scene and at this time I have virtually no other information other than we are picking up a male patient. A flustered woman opens the door and tells us where he is going and hands me a stack of what initially appears to be non-related paperwork I’m supposed to give to the nursing home staff. 

In the living room sitting in a small kitchen chair is a 400 pound man who is snoring...and I can not wake him up. I ask the wife what’s going on with him and she says he has every medical condition wrong with him, but he’s going to be on hospice to detox from pain pills. She then resumes whatever activity she was doing prior to our arrival, because I did not see her again until we were leaving. I asked my partner to get a baseline set of VS while I checked his blood sugar. He was definitely not hypoglycemic as his sugar was on par with his weight. While I’m trying to micromanage whatever the hell is going on here, I notice that my partner has not taken a BP, pulse ox, or put the pt. on the monitor. She looks me in the eye and says something to the effect of why are we taking VS? We’re just supposed to take him to the nursing home. She was so inconvenienced at having to take a BP, that I just took the cuff from her and did everything myself, including a 12 lead EKG. Because we didn’t have jump bags at this fine establishment, I went out to the truck and got some Narcan IN and a stair chair. I administered the Narcan with absolutely no change in status. And naturally, to make my job a bit more stressful, the pt.’s pulse ox readings are low so I put him on high flow O2. 

Now getting him over to the stair chair was going to be a battle because my partner would not even attempt to lift and this guy was dead weight. What we did was I stood him up in front of me and my partner moved the chair and dropped the stair chair behind him. I would like to say at this point of my life I was regularly deadlifting 405, and that was the only way that situation could have happened. Wouldn’t happen now, that’s for sure. We stair chaired the man out to the ambulance and then I nearly threw my back out trying to lift him into the back of the unit. The pt. is now responding to painful stimuli, which I happened to be in great supply of, and I started a line and gave him more Narcan IV. The high flow oxygen had raised his sats but again, he was still altered. So, I try and call my supervisor to see if I should take him to the nearest ER or to the original facility. The Einstein told me the company would not get paid for the transport if I did not transport to the originally planned location. It was one of those moments were in hindsight, I should have said no and taken him to an ER, but what we did per our enlightened supervisor, was go emergency traffic to the nursing home. (Yes, that actually happened). 

When we get there, like most nursing homes EMS has to deal with, there’s apparently no one working...at all...in the entire building. We find someone hiding in the cafeteria and tell them of the situation. She appears to be unconcerned and goes about her business for roughly 20 minutes before telling me to take him into a room that’s at the very end of the hall and isolated. There are no beds in said room, but there is a wheelchair. We do the same song and dance getting the pt. off the stretcher and into the wheelchair. As I’m waiting for the nurse or aide or anyone to come sign for transfer of care, the pt.’s respiratory rate starts slowing down. With a sternal rub, he speeds it up noticeably, but after a bit would start slowing it down. I looked at my partner and was like you see this? This is the code face...he’s gonna freaking code before I get my freaking signature.

I ended up getting the same lady to sign for us but I had to again use my tracking skills to locate her because she was on the other side of the building talking. We left the nursing home in silence, and my partner and I did not talk to each other for about half of the way back to the station. I casually tried to pick her brain, as to why she would think we don’t need VS on a patient that appears to be unconscious. What followed was the wrath of a hangry woman. She yelled at me saying that I was an overachiever that was making everyone look bad. Apparently, pointing out the patient’s code face had really unnerved her, because she asked me why would I say that? I asked her how many cardiac arrest calls she has worked. She then started crying and said she hopes to never work one, and that she would quit the day she got one. (Really??)

The rest of my time at that transfer service was spent laying low and spending my time constructively trying to find better employment. I still see one or two of my co-workers from that place out and about at some of the ER’s. They are the chosen few that were motivated to get out of there and leave that wasteland behind. The last I’d heard of my partner from that day was she is still working there doing the dialysis grind, but she’d married an illegal immigrant and had gastric bypass. Guess she’s managed to avoid that cardiac arrest call...so far.