#i understand QPRs used to and in some cases still are not acknowledged - especially by wider society

[redysetdare]

I think there's a genuine conversation to be had about how aro spaces have begun pushing QPRs in a similar way that amatonormativity pushes romantic relationships onto people but a majority of aros just refuse to engage in the discussion because they see it as an attack on QPRs or people saying QPRs are romantic relationships lite instead of actually looking at the fact it's critiquing how some Aros have begun pushing it almost like an alternative to romance and something all Aro's want.

No one is saying QPRs are bad but rather that there is too much push that the idea of a QPR will fix people's problems. "oh you're lonely? just find a QPR!" "You dont have to be in a romantic relationship you can be in a QPR!" "QPR is MORE than friendship" etc etc.

There's a genuine critique here of QPRs being used to continue to push amatonormativity by again assuming that every aro wants a partner - even if not romantic - and I think we can have a genuine conversation about this rather than going at each other throats over a fake argument of "QPRs bad"

#text #aro #aromantic #non-partnering #QPR #queer-platonic relationships #Queerplatonic relationships #non partnering #nonpartnering aro #non-partnering aro #nonamorous #partnering aro #if you havent seen this side of the community good for you but also kindly do not respond to this #because i genuinely do not think you can add worth while commentary on something you have no experience with seeing #also if you are not an aro who pushes QPRs on ppl then great! this post isn't about you so don't leave a comment abt how ur not like that #i on the other hand along with others have found ourselves having negative experiences with how the community is pushing QPRs #i understand QPRs used to and in some cases still are not acknowledged - especially by wider society #but this isn't about wider society it is about aromantic communities #and i know it was just excitement that got being excited to find that they could still partner with people in a non-romantic sense #it made parterning aros feel like they wouldn't end up being alone #but for many people like myself the communities laser focus on QPRs makes it difficult as non-partnering aros to navigate our identity #by society we are told we have to be in a romantic relationship #then in aro spaces we are told we don't have to be in a romantic relationship but instead we can be in a QPR #but no one ever says 'you dont have to be in a relationship' period. end of sentence. #aro spaces have shifted focus on partnering aros and any time non-partnering aros speak up we are shut down #it's 'oh not all aro's are non-partnering' or 'some aros are in qprs' #i know this only comes from the fact there was heavy gatekeeping at one point to only allow aros who didn't date at all #but the response to that shouldnt of been to shut down any and all non-partnering aros in the community #the point is we need to allow options. if the community is only focusing on QPRs then how are non-partnering aros supposed to realize that #not being in any relationship is an option. we cannot let amatonormativity take over a space that is explicitly supposed to be against it