#i was 😰 to say the least. it's become such a comfort bit to me just them being comfortable together and enjoying the song and it get RIPPED | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mandukkul · 11 months

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TEENAGE ANGST — n. rk

synopsis: you’re suppose to spend yet another birthday alone wallowing in teenage angst, but someone steps in and breaks the cycle

tags: non!idol!riki x f!reader, comfort, angst (not too much i think), a bit of fluff, maybe coming of age

warnings: riki doesn’t appear until like 1/3 into the oneshot, NOT PROOFREAD!!! cursing, angst (i think), spelling and grammatical errors (i wrote tbis at 2am and finshed it at 3 leave me alone), lots and lots of mis-capitalisations, tense errors probably, teenage angst 😰 , let me know if there are any more

word count: 4.7k

published: 13 July

authors note: first writing piece on here, my birthday is on september 8th but i wrote this maybe back in may

You think as a teenager, the worst thing that could affect you was teenage angst. but for you, it would probably be the least of your problems. Instead wallowing like every other teenager before you, locked deep into their rooms never to see the sun until they were 20, you decide it’s better to fix your problem with a day out.

you’re going to be better than what the stereotype says. I mean who’s better at swimming in your own self pity than yourself of course. Even if your parents had decided that travelling abroad for months on end as a job was better than staying at home in the giant house they bought to live as a family, or leave a teenager alone instead of bringing her along, you won’t let it bother you like it did the previous years.

Although you couldn’t feel bad, your parents were dreaming big, even if you became merely a side thought in that dream. Any teenager would live blissfully with all the materials you had. It was truly a dream, but a dream can only become reality if you make it.

You’re not going to think so negatively and say that people around you would rather see you burn than to see you happy, even though that’s exactly what you’re saying.

You’re a kid with everything you want, but surrounded by other kids who are and have basically the same as you, only with parents in the picture, you’re at bare minimum on the grand scale of things.

To live your life with no one by your side, unless you count the people who dislike you at school, is harder than you think.

But you’ve lived your life like this far too long to complain, it’s been routine to be left alone. only now, the difference is that your birthday was today.

spending what most would say a precious day, in a house so hollow you’d think it was abandoned isn’t exactly ideal. Being alone could only add to your ever growing list of reasons to angst over. not even you, who seemed accustomed to this trend, would want to be reminded of how alone— lonely— you are.

so to attempt to turn a new leaf, you urge yourself to spend it differently, you told yourself. straying from your normally secretive emo self, you decide that traveling to the next suburb ,since you heard about a new promotion of the manga you liked being released in a cafe in said suburb, was a good way to ignore your ever piling problems of self-destructive tendencies.

but oh how the world is against you, even if it is your birthday.

The bus suddenly needs to take a detour to a different area you’re not too familiar with, then declares that the route must be canceled due to complications leaving you stranded in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. When checking your phone to find where you are, you see that you are not only an hour walk away from your house, but your phone is standing on its last legs with a messily 20%.

To test your limits further, the sky starts to cry the moment you’re just far enough from your house that running back would do more harm than good.

you quickly scope your area, finding that there are no parks in the vicinity to offer mercy from the rain, and the closest shelter is either 20 minutes forward to the bus stop or the array of trees planted along the side wall as decorations.

you way your options, and take the tree closest to you as refuge. you’re glad the area you’ve wandered to is littered with them, even better that they're thick enough to offer some kind of protection.

minutes passed and the rain hasn’t let up, going at the same harsh rate it has been going at for the past 10 minutes. your clothes, so obviously drenched, weighs you down causing your minimal moves to become sluggish (or maybe it’s the premonition of sickness approaching).

the trees hang low with despair, mimicking your very attitude. rain licks your face, and you can’t tell whether your tears finally made its greeting or it’s rain getting into your eyes.

you start to ponder whether running to the back home would be a better idea than your lovely tree, the idea of escaping your rain soaked clothes seeming like a dream as of right now, a dream escaping you the longer you wait.

you test your already bad luck, because god so obviously has a vendetta against you, deciding your next best option was to end your little escapade and head back home in the rain.

Barely ten minutes in, with wet sneakers splashing into deep puddles and your clothes glued to you like second skin, the rain starts to roar, angered by your decision apparently.

your vision can’t help but blur due to the heavy rain clouding your sight, and the hair that stubbornly sticks itself into your forehead and subsequently, your eyes. it’s hazy and you can barely make out the road in front of you, you’re glad the path ahead of you is empty and that you’ve arrived in a more familiar area.

I guess not even you can escape the clutches of teenage angst, slowing your strides and accepting your fate.

you think how stupid and cliche you look walking in the rain with a frown. Your feet dragging, now feeling the effects of almost an hour in the rain, and on your birthday of all days. The only thing to complete your look was loud sad emo music.

stopping in your tracks, letting the rain do what it wants, you begin to think back to what you must’ve done to anger god so much.

you shut your eyes for just a moment, to shield yourself from rain trying to attack your eyes, but the rain suddenly stops, or more accurately, something is blocking the rain from you. you begin to hear the pitter patter of rain against an umbrella and just for a moment, you think god has found pity in your wallow and granted you mercy. When opening your eyes, low and behold, a black umbrella meets your face.

oh and there’s Riki, or what he likes to be called, Niki, standing in front of you, holding the umbrella over your head acting as your current saviour.

so much for God's mercy.

If your day wasn’t already so bad, you’d say that seeing niki would be the worst part of your day. Unfortunately for you though, it was the best.

you and niki have never been on the same page, ever since he ‘accidentally’ bumped into you while you were in an empty hall. you had given him many chances to be nice to you, or atleast apologise, but as days passed from the first meeting, all you’ve received was strange stares you know all too well. When confronting him, all he could do is ignore you and or play dumb. This interaction had left a massive rift between the two of you, and being a not so popular kid in highschool compared to the ‘king of dance’ was not a good look.

“why are you trying to be a main character” is the last voice you want to hear from, especially on this joke of a birthday. you crane your neck slightly, meeting face to face with the face you hate (and hate to say is extremely easy on the eyes). “why are you trying to stop my main character moment” you shoot back with equally as much snark, but it comes off weak as you underestimated the sound of rain.

Niki looks down at you with the same glint in his eye you dislike, not because it was a judgmental one, but one of mystery because you can never guess what he’s thinking. “sorry sorry, should i let you get back to that” he removes the umbrella from above you but you make no attempt to stop him.

the rain embraces you once again, as harsh it was moments ago. you state a niki again, his dry figure under the comfort of his darken umbrella, staring at you who seemed to be physically separated from him.

talk about rift.

you’ve never noticed how far you were from niki, in a metaphorical sense. Niki had everything you had, and more. He had people to talk to, hang out with, care about and care for. He too, probably went through his fair share of teenage angst, but you think to yourself that this is the first (and only) win.

he sees this and halts his movement, examining your figure deeply. you seem tired. along with the wet suit you’re wearing, and unruly hair dripping at its tips, you look far different to how you present yourself at school. nonchalant and cool, an enigmatic girl who seems to always be out of everyone’s business but as of now, you look (in the nicest way possible) like a train wreck.

“Are you taking joy out of watching me wallow?” you scoff, staring at him with a distasteful eye, “i’m not a sadist” he jokes but he’s the only one who’s smiling.

he coughs to clear his throat, or maybe the awkward atmosphere, you’re too tired to care. you watch as he moves the umbrella back under you, “why are you standing in the rain anyways?” he questions.

“m trying to get home” you whisper loud enough to beat the rain, looking at Niki who’s features seem to fuzz up the more you blink.

“don’t you live 3 streets away?” he adds, you only nodding in response.

your movements are suddenly too sluggish to call lazy, the effects of an hour in the rain finally hitting you.

“aren’t your parents worried?”

probably

“my parents are overseas,” you mumble as he nods knowingly, having his fair shares of travelling parents, although he has his sisters to accompany him, “and i don’t feel like spending my day alone”

birthday

you think how this is the first real conversation you’ve had with niki, ever since your first encounter. Normally you’d stray away from him, so much as look in your direction, you’re off to avoid further conflict and instead plan a faux argument comeback for if the day ever arrives.

you rub your eye to rid the haze that had gotten worse, along with the bodily ache and pounding head.

niki notices, he always notices you. seeing you off in your own world from a distance.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his tone laced with concern, or at least that's what you think. He moves his hand to wipe some hair out of your face, attempting to help with your irritable eyes.

Despite the cold weather, you’re hot to the touch.

“oh shit, you’re burning up” he goes into mother mode as he touches your forehead, seeing as that’s what his sister and mother do when he has his own fever. you mumble an incoherent response, you’re not sure what you said either.

“I should get home then” you mumble, stepping away from safety and into the rain. He goes to stop you, but the moment you move you’re in shambles, collapsing into his arms like some damsel in distress.

oh fuck

…

sometimes you think to yourself, what did you do to end up here? and when i mean here, i don’t mean the literal sense, i mean the place you are in life, because for you, all you seem to do is piss of whoever’s writing your story, because why else would you be living such a shitty (but not enough to outwardly complain) life.

The second you wake up in bed was your first red flag. the sheets a bluish grey, far different from your own floral white ones. The bed is softer, and the quilt more warm, but that might just be from the sheer exhaustion you exhibited some time ago.

The next flag was the scary tall silhouette you see entering the room, holding what looks like a black plastic bag filled with various things.

riki looks much more intimidating when all you can make out is his outline.

the moment he turns around from shutting the door, he sees your eyes staring at him and the previous blank expression he wore changes into a face of concern.

“oh you’re awake” he scrambles words together as he stalks up to for bedside, placing the plastic bag beside him as he examines your condition like some kind of doctor.

“clearly” you croak, and you find out that your voice is extremely hoarse (and sore).

“try not to speak, i think you have a fever from standing under the rain” he deduces but you can’t help but scoff, “gee, who would’ve guessed”.

the sick you are even snarky than normal you.

Niki chuckles at your comment as he shuffles around the plastic bag for a bottle of water and what looks like painkillers.

you shift your head to watch him as he assorts the medicine and water onto the bedside table, pulling out a small mandarin to complete the collection.

“What's with the orange?” you whisper, trying to not use your voice too much, “vitamin c” he answers simply and you can’t help but laugh at him.

you manoeuvre into a sitting position to take what he’s giving you, ignoring the pain striking your head as you do so.

as you pop pills and chug water, you continue to scan the room. It's pretty boring, with a table with a few pieces of stationary, and a shelf with some personal touches.

Niki sees you’re so obviously inspecting the room, and coughs up an answer.

“oh umm- sorry. i didn’t know where you lived and you had passed out and i panicked and brought you to my house” he explains. that explains the strange surroundings. you’re in his room.

you think about how different his room is to what you originally assumed. no trophies, or obnoxious posters. a very standard and boring room for someone so rich.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, “i’ll leave you to rest” he starts to get up and you don’t know what has gotten over you, but the moment you see him shift away, you grasp his wrist urging his attention back on you.

he stares at you intently, as if he’d listen to the hours of silence you’d make if you chose to.

under his scrutinising gaze, you can’t help but avert your gaze. “I don't want to spend my birthday alone” you unconsciously mumble and you feel pathetic as you hear the words leave your mouth.

a raging silence fills the room, and your own anxiety gets the best of you as you loosen your grip around his wrist.

the moment he longer feels your fingers against him, he reaches for you back which surely catches your attention.

you never had a real interaction with the boy, especially due to the circumstances you (or him) were put through but your distaste for him wasn't baseless, even if your heart felt different.

Speaking about heart, it was pounding so loudly against your chest, you could’ve sworn Niki would dance to it.

“It's your birthday?” he’s grip on your hand is gentle, almost delicate as if you’d crack under the pressure of his touch. you nod softly, not facing him but you can tell what he’s thinking.

you probably seem more like a loser than you already are, you feel like that at least.

Riki nods his head, gently as to let your eyes follow enough not to be bothered by such movements. He repositions himself beside his own bed, hand still attached to yours.

you try everything in your power to ignore his riveting gaze, but the awkwardness is much louder than the silence itself.

you ponder to yourself, if this birthday was one of your best ones or the worse. you silently compare back to when you were six, and everyone and their friends were there. your parents seemed less concerned with otherworldly matters and you focused on nothing but the people around you.

That was the last time you felt noticed.

teenage angst must’ve hit you really early, huh?

then, back to just 14, where it was yet another year alone, with no one at school knowing who you are (yet because the moment you meet riki everything had a turn for the one worse), your parents at god knows where, living their best business lives, and this is your first time spending your birthday alone (first of a few).

you think how empty your house was, how dark and voided it felt, feeding into your ever growing reasons to angst.

and now you think of now, despite being ill with a rising fever, you don’t feel as bad as you did back then. you can’t tell if it’s just your delirious mind putting it’s fair share of delusional thoughts into you, or it’s just because you haven’t had company in so long. but the hand wrapped around yours, and the feeling of someone (even if it’s the ever so terrible niki) next you that made you smile.

“What are you smiling about? Are you going through shock?” niki’s voice is a mixture of playfulness and concern, because even if the chances of you suddenly falling into a seizure is low, it isn’t zero.

your eyes trail to him, but not to his eyes, you wouldn’t dare look straight at him.

“I thought it was going to be another bad birthday” you shrug, and you can’t for the life of you, wipe off your smile, not now because Riki finds it in himself to squeeze your hand.

you expect another remark, because that’s all your conversations seem to be (from the single one you’ve just had earlier) but nothing of the sort came, instead, from the corner of your eyes, you see him smile.

the nicest type of smile, with his boxy edges, and eyes squeezing softly.

if you weren’t looking at him before, you are now.

“I'm glad” that’s all he says, and your heart clenches at something that isn’t depression and anxiety.

The overwhelming feeling of awkwardness has long dissipated and has been replaced with something else.

something new.

you stare intently into his eyes, moreso, he does and you are compelled to look back. He's searching for something, in the darkness of the room it seems like.

you can barely make out his features, soft eyes, and sharp jaw. his hair perfectly framing his face, to much of your distaste, and is slightly damp probably from just getting back from wherever he went.

you wonder what’s going inside that head of his, while staring so intently at you, dissecting every little part of you. does he notice the droop of your eyes, how tired you look, how pale your skin has gotten from days locked in your room, how your cheeks never flushed with life yet was always plush to the touch (probably from all the instant food you’ve consumed)

does he notice the teenage angst you wallow in, him probably going through the same trivial problems as you.

“Sorry you have to spend your weekend with me” you whisper, thinking about all the other things the “king of dance” could be doing instead of nurturing you back to health.

He’d probably be out with heeseung or jake at the local gaming cafe, laughing and playing. He was probably on his way there if not for running into you.

you don’t break eye contact so you see how his eyes double in size, quick to shake his head, your own aching from following his movements. “hey don’t say that” he scolds you, taking his other hand to caress yours.

How intimate does he get?

your skin burns from his touch, and not because your fever is bordering on 39° C. Your eyes tear away, too much of your brains disliking because, even if you dislike him, he’s very nice to look at.

“no one deserves to spend their birthday alone” and he may be right, but your own angsty self could beg to differ.

because with the cards dealt to you, and the way you’ve treated the world (because how it treated you) there’s no doubt there’s a love hate (mostly hate) relationship going on between you and life.

“Even more, now that you’re sick” he adds on, rubbing circles to the back of your hand and you feel comfort for the first time in a while.

“i guess even someone who hates me can be nice, huh?” you didn't mean to say that out loud, but your quiet voice is too intertwined with your head voice, mixed with the fact that you’re terribly sick, couldn’t tell the difference.

he stares at you quizzingly, as if you’ve said something so utterly absurd it’s left him speechless.

“i don’t hate you”

those words catch you off guard. because the words “don't” and “hate” have never been uttered on the same line with “you” following after it.

you stay silent. it’s your birthday so of course he wouldn’t uprightly say it to your face.

“Do you hate me?”

he asks and you take a moment to ponder, about the strange stairs he’s given you, and the amount of times he’s ignored you piled with how everyone at school seems to stray away from you.

you only hate him because he hates you

“i only hated you because you hate me”

niki is left truly speechless (in a metaphorical sense), and his jaw is literally cracked wide.

“what?!? I don't hate you! god! i could never hate you”

like a cringey teenage cliche, you bite your lip holding back an unwanted grin.

“don’t say the lord's name in vain” you mutter to make light of the situation.

not having friends didn't mean you weren’t socially inept.

Your dry chuckle is the only sound left in the room, other than the pattering of rain. riki can’t help but frown at the news he just heard.

“i’ve never hated you, not for a second” he looks at you as if he’s trying to convince you, telling you that all your internalised monologues were for nothing, “i just thought… since you were so stand-off-ish, that you just didn't like me” you shrug, averting from his gaze.

words pour out of you like vomit and you can no longer keep up your enigmatic cool girl facade, not now that you’re sick.

“not many people like me, so i assume you hate me jusy as much, and well, if you hated me, i figured i should hate you back”

and you did, well you tried to at least. but in moments like these; where niki holds your hand as if you’re the only thing keeping him alive, where his eyes never leave your lips because he’s so set on remembering every little detail you say, afraid your words will be lost to tone. you can’t help but not hate him at all, noy one bit.

“how could i hate you when you’re just so perfect” he whispers, almost like a confession.

actually he did confess. to you. right now.

you owlishly blink, and suddenly think that your beating heart is more serious than your fever.

you try to snatch your hand away from him, in embarrassment of him feeling how hot you feel, with the tips of your ears flaming red.

with your averted gaze, it’s not like you can see that his neck has a creeping speck of hot red as well as his cheeks, ears, and everything on him.

He's so glad it’s dark right now.

“you can’t just say that, riki” it’s the first time you’ve said his name.

his name out of your mouth, your tongue, your lips.

He wants to hear it again.

“Why not?” he eggs, leaning closer despite the strange territory they’ve suddenly entered.

“Some people might get the wrong idea” and by some, you mean yourself because even with the minimal things you know about the boy next to you, your heart is fluttering like crazy it makes you want to vomit.

“But I'm not lying, you’re so perfect” Riki reiterates, “you’re so perfect, i’m afraid to even talk to you, or look at you, even be around you” he rambled at the amount of failed attempts to talk to you, caused by his shyness.

so… everytime you tried to talk to him, walked near him, caught him staring, it was all because of some silly crush?

and now you feel stupid, ontop of your crippling angst, you’ve failed at teenage romance.

letting out a frustrating sigh, so heavy you might even blow the poor boy away, you drop down ontop your back and whine.

he’s shocked for a moment, watching you wail with your hands covering your face.

he finds you so cute, his stomach might because an olympic gymnast at this point.

riki crawls closer to you, kneeling onto his knees as he gently pries your hand away from your face. “I feel so stupid” you can’t help but utter, eyes shut to avoid his eyes.

riki grins, leaning closer (not that you could see), “the smartest girl at school? Feeling stupid? That's a first” he jokes and you unintentionally snort out a laugh, “i’m not the smartest” you instantly shoot back, slowly opening your eyes.

“oh but you are, you’re smart, and beautiful, and mysterious and witty and-“ you rip your hand from his grip to cover his mouth, any more and your ego will start to inflate and be as big as Sunghoon’s. “aish, stop that

'' You laugh, and you can hear him giggling along.

“But why? can’t i tell the girl i like how amazingly perfect she is?”

the girl he likes…

the.

girl

likes

IS YOU?

“you like me…” you gape, maybe you are socially inept, or at least, romantically.

riki laughs, and a hearty one at that. the type of laugh that comes straight from the stomach. “how could anyone not?” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

like the teenage girl you are, you can’t help but feel bubbly and giddy, like the princess in some lame disney movie being swept off her feet by a guy who’s probably way too old for her (funny seeing that riki’s younger than you).

Then guilt hits you. as much as you want to revel in this blissful joy, you know nothing about riki, and you spent so long hating on him in your head to suddenly switch up.

“I know nothing about you though…” you break the news to him, “i mean, we technically just had our first real conversation”.

riki can’t help but smile, even if he’s just been indirectly rejected, your gentleness in letting him down makes him swoon even more.

“we can get to know each other then” he declares, smiling down at you.

“But are you willing to wait?” your eyes fill with anticipation, hoping for the best (it is your birthday after all), and wonder for the first time in forever, smiling from ear to ear.

“for you, i’d wait a thousand years”

if what he said before wasn't swoon worthy, this definitely was.

you feel like one of his silly fangirls that wait outside of class, giggling at his stupid smile but this time, you know you’re the cause of it.

“Are you going to start singing Christina Aguilera now?” you joke, giggling quietly to yourself. “I mean you should, since it’s my birthday after all” oh what a good birthday it was.

“anything for my birthday girl” Seeing your smile stretch for the first time, he hopes he’d be seeing that everyday in the near future.

Riki looks at you, for what feels like the millionth time. He really looks at you, like he did at school, like he did on the street in the rain, and like he does now.

and he thinks to himself:

yeah, I can definitely wait.

authors note pt.2: as you can see i write a lot for riki (my bias) mostly because i have so many wips that i s decided to release 🤭 might accept request who knows. also if you have any tips on how to write or do a layout please pm!!!!

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atopearth · 8 months

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Final Fantasy XVI Part 2 - Fighting to Live On Your Own Terms

I didn't expect Mid to be Cid's daughter.. Anyway, really weird tonal change in the game to suddenly start running errands lol. I didn't expect that removing the brand runs the risk that the person might die because one wrong cut or whatever and the poison from the ink could kill them😰 Well, Torgal resembling Fenrir was what I thought when we first saw the change haha. Dion seems to be a kind prince with a heartless father and scheming stepmother lol. Olivier seems very reliant on his mother, Anabella but he is young so that's normal. Gotta say though, I still think Anabella is the hottest out of everyone haha! Anyway, Clive's uncle, Byron Rosfield is a very funny and chill guy. He's so rich but so endearing, it was so funny when he gobbled up all the food in the desert inn before Clive fought against Barnabas' men who escorted Kupka. It's just sad that Joshua was so close but Clive still missed him. Harbard is pretty hot, I will look forward to seeing more of him😆 I've read comments about the Titan fight being really good, but I didn't expect the 10/10 effort they put into it, that fight was definitely visually stunning, and Titan looked awesome!

The mystery surrounding Ultima continues, but I wonder if he's some sort of otherworldly being that's trying to get Clive to gather all the Eikon powers and then destroy the world and make a new one or something to become a true God. Anyway, Barnabas has finally appeared again! He seems to know about Mythos, so I wonder if he knows what exactly Ultima is. As for Dion, he's got death flags flying everywhere that if he survives in the end, I'd be surprised haha, he seems like such a good boy and he's pretty too. Terence and Dion! They felt like a thing with how carefully Terence was treating him but dang, definitely didn't expect the kiss to solidify my assumptions! It makes me happy though. I thought Dion was alone, fighting by himself against his father's tyranny and Anabella's scheming, but it seems like regardless of what happens in the future, knowing that he at least had the one he loves beside him gives me a bit more comfort. I'm glad Joshua made it to Dion safely! I'm excited to see how things will go!

Quinten once being a part of the judiciary in Sanbreque is interesting, but it's sad to find out that his entire family was slaughtered after finding out how disgusting the Lord Chief Justice was hunting bearers. Very interesting that Quinten created this army gathering people in Lostwing to exact revenge on him though. I really wanted to choose Otto to go along with Clive to gather stardust since I want to know more about him, but how could I reject a chance to hang out with Gav?! I mean, I've been noticing the pacing issues, but gathering stuff for Mid to build a ship?! Is that what the leader of everyone does? I mean, if it was a sidequest yeah, but this is the main quest, it's just so random, especially since there's no context for this ship and why we need to build it other than its something Cid and Mid designed together. I mean, it'll definitely be useful but I really didn't need to run around that much zzz. Anyway, I just wanted to say, imagine going all the way across the map to buy one garlic and some nuts, I died. I definitely recommend picking Jill to go with to Northreach. Seeing her so happily reminiscing about memories with Clive and Torgal in Rosalith back in the day whilst enjoying a little picnic was really cute. It felt like we were finally getting to see a bit more of the happy and innocent Jill she once was.

It's sad that Mid doesn't want to go to Cid's grave, but I'm glad we got to visit it! It's been a while and I definitely miss Cid. I really enjoyed having everyone here and reaffirm their goals of destroying all the Mothercrystals, especially considering how even more terrible the environment has become, literally death of nature everywhere. Since we only have one crystal left, I wonder if I'm nearing the end of the game? Eloise and Theodore are such a good looking pair of siblings! I guess it should have been expected that regardless of what Joshua says, Dion's priority will always be the empire and I honestly can't blame him for it (even if I do think that I agree with Joshua that we need to look at the bigger picture here), because considering all the scenes we've seen with Dion, he has always been at war trying his best to protect his people. He would never abandon his people knowing that they would perish if he's not there. However, I'm not too sure how overthrowing Anabella and the new Emperor Olivier will go. And I also kinda wish Dion gave up on his father because Sylvestre isn't any better. One thing I would have appreciated from the game is if we could have gotten more interesting side side characters? It's always the Eikon and their loyal attendant/vassal/knight lol. Anyway, Dion going out of control and destroying the kingdom and hurting his people is saddening. I was happy when Joshua set out to stop him, but I didn't realise he could still become the Phoenix.

Well, the fight against Bahamut was visually stunning (once again!)! My favourite part was definitely getting to see Joshua and Clive fight together and hug each other afterwards. It's been much too long. I didn't realise that Bahamut has a move called Zetaflare though haha! Most disappointing thing for me was how things ended for Anabella though, it just felt so pathetic considering how many people she betrayed and how scheming she was to just go like that. I honestly wanted her to live and redeem herself. Olivier being some sort of creation of Ultima's used to lead the Empire to their destruction and to probably get Clive to absorb Bahamut was sad because even though I harboured no hope for Sylvestre, Dion obviously viewed him in a good light because he used to not be like this. Since we never got to see how he was, I personally have no view towards this whole thing, but if you want me to think of it as if he was my brother, then I can understand why Dion refused to give up on trying to get him to come back to his senses, just saddening that Dion ended up accidentally killing him, which is something no one should have to ever bear, that grief, anger and pain probably made him vulnerable to being brainwashed by Ultima into going out of control, not that I think he would have been able to go against it in the end, but I guess it made it easier.

But yes, the fights were pretty and relatively fun. A gripe that I have though is that I wish the game let you save or had points where it would let you save because these cutscenes and fights are so long and I'm an old lady that needs to sleep earlier lolll. All in all, I'm glad Joshua is back with us, the brotherly love between him and Clive is just so sweet. As for Barnabas, is he brainwashed or willingly following Ultima? Either way though, he seems mentally weak or unwell. Joshua kissing Jote's forehead was adorable though, I ship it. But glad to know how Joshua survived and why Jote has been by his side the whole time. I wonder why they didn't appear until that late to protect Joshua though. I'm glad we finally got to see the ending for Lostwing because I've been curious. I'm just sad that all those people died protecting Quinten and to achieve his revenge. But I guess they might have all died if they stayed in Lostwing when it got flooded with aether, but yeah oh well, at least there are people alive and Quinten has newfound resolve in building a nation. I'm also glad they're finally going back to Eastpool and making it a home again because that's where Wade and them should be.

I was wondering why Sleipnir sounds familiar, and of course, he's the horse ridden by Odin! Really goes to show his loyalty to Barnabas. Sad that he just died like that though. It's kinda amusing to see that Barnabas is a league above Clive but is that because he's Odin or something else? Very sweet of Jill to use herself as a shield to protect Clive and let the others help him escape without any hesitation. What I'm glad about is that through Blackthorne's quest, they are starting to share Cid's inventions helping people to stop relying on crystals for furnaces etc and truly getting to a self-sustainable world without crystals driving their lives. I'm very happy for Blackthorne that he has such a good friend like August always watching over him and his mental health haha, couldn't ask for more! Ooh okay, Sleipnir is a magical creation of Odin's so there's many of him! Very happy to know because he's cool. But not very happy because he doesn't do anything haha, where's the personality?!

Anyway, pretty cool when Odin split the sea in two. But the highlight is definitely the scene at the beach! Awkward nakedness😂 Anyway, it was nice for Jill to finally get to properly convey to Clive how much she wants to share in his burden and how she's willing to entrust everything of hers to him and support him. And they finally kissed! And did more but that's not important haha, I'm actually just really excited to use Shiva, I used to think we'd be able to control Jill but I guess this will have to do. Honestly, I feel so bad for Theodore and Eloise. I really liked them, so seeing Theo turn Akashic and kill himself so he wouldn't hurt Eloise was so sad. He never got to know that Eloise was happy to live the life she did no matter how tough it was, and that just looking at him made her understand that she never regretted her choice of saving him instead of choosing the easy way out. I'm really heartbroken that they couldn't have the happy ending they deserved. I didn't expect L'ubor to be a Bearer, very terrible that no matter the status, the moment it comes out, people can only see them as a Bearer and nothing else. Dalimil doesn't deserve L'ubor. I've always liked Martha so it was nice to see her motivate the Bearers. Blackthorne and Zoldat forging a weapon together was cute.

The medicine girl saved Dion! Such a nice little girl! I'm actually kinda glad Joshua punched Clive because I guess it is true that he is now taking on the burden himself by taking Shiva from Jill. I was so worried when Joshua separated from Clive, I hope he's okay. As for the complete mural, I'm not surprised that Phoenix is technically the one that doesn't "belong" but what does he represent? Is that the wings of Ultima? Does the Phoenix recreate/rebirth this world? Well, the fight against Barnabas was certainly visually disappointing and mentally tedious. How ironic that the Dominant of Odin who commands great strength and is revered across the land as a unparalleled swordsman had the weakest will of everyone and wasn't able to go against a god. Maybe that just goes to show how strong Ultima is but honestly, I don't think so. Odin is still the best looking Eikon for me, but it's sad that his story, his mystery and his existence didn't add much to the story or to what we know of Ultima.

I was just about to say, I'm so glad Terence is alive! And then now he's gone to save the medicine girl, which is understandable since Dion will never forgive himself for what he did and the damage he caused, so all he can do is mend as much as he can and help his people in any way he could, but still, I feel bad for Terence. Dion knows that Terence could never go against his orders and having to force him to be away from him when Dion is in the most danger would break his heart. Honestly, I love the brotherly love between Joshua and Clive, seeing them exert their utmost to protect the other always warms my heart and makes me so happy. Ultima is like a kid throwing a tantrum. He set his game up for someone else (he created) to play, went to sleep and then got mad that they had to discover their own way to play the game because they were never given instructions by him, and now wants his toy to relinquish everything they've learnt and listen to him again and then he'll accept them as his toy again lol. Barnabas was naive to think that Ultima would accept them even if they had no will.

All in all, the fight against Bahamut was definitely my favourite part. Not only was it absolutely beautiful, I really like Dion and his suffering for hurting his people, it's something I could feel for. Most disappointing thing was definitely Odin because I've been so excited for him since the moment I saw Odin and fell in love, but nooo. It's funny though, because I actually thought Bahamut was ugly and I really didn't care for him when he first appeared but now it's the favourite loll. Titan was also great in that it was nicely built up but I have to say that there were too many diversions to get there that by the time we fought Titan, I kinda forgot (sorry) why we hated him so much LOL. This is what happens when you don't get to play every day and you're stuck doing random quests until the real thing lol, so yeah that sucked but it was still good. Dion and Joshua are definitely my favourite characters though!

#final fantasy xvi #ffxvi #final fantasy 16

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