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noblechaton · 10 months

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hi. this is a post about Miraculous Ladybug - but also a post about me too. I've been on this bug and cat train since just about the beginning and getting to where we are now has made me kinda look back on it all - the show and myself so. I'mma ramble for a bit, pretty long post. gets kinda personal too

also there is like. no complaining or salt or anything like that in this post. adding this on in case anyone gets the wrong idea

like I said I've been here since roughly the beginning - not quite the first episode but close enough I feel, def within that first year or so. I've seen every episode (except "Felix" somehow. lmao, and the Shanghai special) and written countless words for this batch of furry doofuses, made countless posts that range from jokes to genuine analysis and spent what could probably be medically determined to be an unhealthy and maybe illegal amount of brainpower on the series as a whole, through the ups and downs, the fandom drama and leaks

and I know plenty of people who have fallen off for one reason or another - they didn't like the progression of the story, how things were being handled here or there, or they simply drifted from it for whatever reason. I kinda felt that way for a time, that I might be growing apart from the series as hiatus after hiatus built and my interests veered more towards other stuff, from wrestlemen to the witchy. it's scared me in the past, that I might stop loving the show, but with the S5 finale having hit and the major storyline that's been the thrust of the series mostly concluded I kinda realized something that I've kinda known for a long while

I'll never let it go, not entirely, and I'll never grow completely past it or beyond it - Miraculous is sort of a part of me

see, 8 years ago I was....drifting in a different way. I was losing touch with the people I held dearest, those irl friends I'd managed to maintain through school were fading fast and slowly I found myself almost alone, totally and completely. suddenly all the voices I'd been happily smothered by for years were just. gone. a few remained here and there, but it was fragmented if not completely cut off before too long and, well, I was scared

I was, for all intents and purposes, alone

but....then I started to watch this show that'd been recommended to me a few times, from before the voices faded. I'd written it off bc I didn't really care for CG shows, they always felt so empty and weird to me at the time, but the season was still ongoing and it wasn't as if I had much else to do, so I watched this episode called Stormy Weather and, not to sound too dramatic, but my life sorta changed

I loved it from the start, the style, the banter, the story. the animation was shockingly good, it felt alive. the characters were a total treat to see interact, the designs all but perfect to my eye. I got immediately hooked and only went further in the more I watched. slowly but surely I caught up on what was out there, watched what was coming out and at the same time, I sorta....reinvented myself, too, bc of this show

I made this blog, spread my wings a bit and tested some waters here and there in ways totally different from what I'd done before - I wasn't always Noble, yanno - and though it horrified me as someone that's just. terrible at talking to people, at making friends and forming connections, I still did what I could - I basically did what I did to get my first crush's attention actually, in that I just sorta danced and made a clown out of myself. we dated for 12 hours, funnily enough, didn't last. hope she's doing well. anyway

all that dancing, as it were, eventually caught the eye of someone I still consider one of my best friends to this day, who back then slowly hooked me up with who have since become some of my other best friends - I have a lotta best friends, okay? but the bond we've formed, though most of them are sorta on the outs with the show and despite us all being busy lately, it meant a lot to me - they mean a lot to me. they've....saved me, genuinely. I'm sure you can pick up the subtext here, but just as well, the show saved me, too

because I kept bumping into more people and forming connections as a result of this shared interest in a silly French cartoon, my confidence changed - I started behaving more like my senior year self in that nothing really stopped me, I didn't feel as shy or bashful or timid. soon I found myself in servers, talking with names I'd never imagined knocking up against, getting into contact with people I'd otherwise never dreamed of talking with, much less becoming friends with

now I have this web of people in my life, people I trust and care for that are amazing creators, amazing people both inside and outside of fandom, now I'm close to or otherwise good friends with a list of names that could take up most of this post if I started rambling them off. and just like that, I'd found myself a home again, I felt like I belonged somewhere again, there were voices again and the silence was gone

and I still struggle sometimes, we all do, I'm not as creative on here as I want to be - and I look to change that soon bc deep down I do believe in my ability now, something that wasn't true some few years ago - and I still struggle to talk with some of those I want to befriend, but I have talked to most of them, I've engaged on a level I never could just a few years back and....I have people I can turn to again, that I trust and love. that I hope love me too, y'know, not romantically or anything just, familial? friendly? you understand, I'm sure, anyway, point is, I was terribly alone for a long while, and gradually I've found myself in a place I find comfort in again, surrounded by friends that I'd do anything for

and it's all because of Miraculous, a show I still love

yeah there's been ups and downs, things I've liked a ton and didn't care much for, but I'm still with the show - I will be with the show. I thought season 5 was maybe the best of the bunch, at least on par with S1 imo, I'm stupidly excited about season 6 despite not being so sure of it just a few months ago. and above all else I just love watching it, posting about it and creating for it. it gets so much hate, I know there's constant discourse and there are genuine issues with it, but....again, I love it, I'll always love it. even if I drift away, if my interests shift or things take a turn, for any issue I take with the show myself, I think I'll always love this show, thick or thin

because this show saved me, it's made me a better person and gave me a life I'd once feared I'd lost, and for as silly as all of this might sound I'll always be grateful to that bug and cat team

anyway. that's enough sap from me for a bit, just kinda retrospective in light of the finale, kinda crazy to think about where I was 8 years back compared to now tbh. and not just the whole "oh yeah I'm a girl" thing lol

#y'know I had a talk tag once upon a time. no idea what it was nowadays. lmao

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kewwie-pie · 1 year

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Some trans!fem pesci sketches! With some extra info/headcanon about her <3

I'm honestly really happy with her current design! I've had this silly little headcanon since 2022 (I think?) But it's been in the back of my mind for much longer considering in au's I've always had a habit of making her female, so of course I'd eventually end up with just straight up making her trans!

headcanons and extra info about pesci:

She was born to her Swedish mother and Italian father in the month of March. Her parents are very accepting of her and fully supported her transitioning.

She prefers She/Her pronouns but she doesn't really mind it when people use they/them.

Pesci gets most of her outfits from prosciutto! Prosciutto had nobody to support him when he was still young and figuring things out, so he sometimes gifts pesci stuff to make her feel better.

He gifted his old makeup and some clothes to her because it was collecting dust in his basement. The fur hat she wears was a gift from him!

Prosci did her makeup once while she was frustrated, and she sobbed right after, undoing all of the old man's hard work. (After wiping away her tears and giving her a peptalk along with his signature forehead touch, he redid her makeup.)

Pesci is a nail-biter. She had been ever since kids started bullying her for her appearance (mainly her weak chin).

Melone had suggested she get acrylics or gel nails

Now she doesn't bite her nails anymore, but only because she feels like it's a waste of money to bite them, and that would probably make her feel worse.

Pesci has two jobs, and her day job consists of helping her parents around their restaurant. The other is her job as a hit woman for la squadra.

Pesci and ghiaccio had met each other in juvie before. However, they didn't recognize each other due to their major change in appearance

Prosciutto used to (and still does) visit the restaurant pesci's parents own, he used to come there every noon for a cup of coffee and a nice hot meal. It's because of this that they met each other and why he'd eventually bail her out of jail when she murdered two men.

Prosciutto's reasons for bailing out pesci were kinda selfish. He was tired of getting accused having no heart and being an overal terrible person so he decided to do a good deed and free the waitress and take her under his wing.

(He totally didn't take her under his wing because he enjoys the ego boost it gives him and so that he can shove his dead sister issues onto her)

Oops this turned into me rambling about prosci

Depending on what mood I'm in, she's either dating Ghiaccio or Melone. Why not both? Because it makes me feel like I'm just inserting pesci into meloghia </3

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qqueenofhades · 6 years

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Hello! I have been a huge history nerd for most of my life and recently decided i would like to pursue history as a possible career, by I've recently been discouraged. I've had career counselors at my school and my parents and friends say that I should look to other careers because history simply isn't a lucrative job. I'd really like to know your thoughts since you're a historian. Btw I really look up to you and love your blog! So, thoughts on careers/colleges and the sort?

Aww, haha. You are sweet.

First, I will caveat at the outset that academia is a stressful and often stupid profession, nor is it, indeed, very lucrative. Nobody gets into it because they are expecting to make it rain, or because they enjoy not being constantly in doubt about their future/how things are going to string together/where they are going to end up next/if they will possibly have a full-time job by the time they are in their mid-thirties/etc. For example, I finish my PhD next summer, at which point I will need to immediately start applying for either postdoctoral fellowships, or see if I’m lucky enough to stumble upon that one junior lecturer/assistant research position that wants my exact research interests. Postdoc fellowships could be anywhere from three months to three years. Visiting/junior lectureships are usually for a contract of one or two years. You can string any number of these together (if you’re lucky) until/if you get a permanent position somewhere. This could also and probably will involve moving every year or two, so you don’t really get to settle down for a while. You will have to keep up your career/participation in academia, work to publish papers/go to conferences etc, while also paying the bills somehow. Sometimes the right opportunity falls into your lap, sometimes it doesn’t. You just have to keep grinding and hope that it does.

(And no, the pay is not anything to aspire to. I’m currently junior/doctoral student faculty in the department, teaching one class a semester, and yeah. It’s better if you’re salaried or getting a stipend, and I’m lucky enough to have my full tuition fees paid by scholarship. So if you want to be rich, this is not the job for you. But as ever, it improves as you go, and if you get a permanent position, you will be paid at least enough to live on. So we’re not talking cardboard-box-under-a-bridge levels of poverty.)

If that hasn’t scared you off, then we can go on to what I regard as the most important part. I’m always of the opinion that life is way too short to be doing anything other than what you love and are good at, and if you deliberately pick something you don’t like and don’t have passion for, on the expectation that it will make you money… well, that’s one way to live, and I’m sure people do well for themselves by it. But it sounds exhausting, horrible, and eventually soul-crushing to me, and which is why, despite all the clearly enunciated drawbacks listed above, I’d still rather be doing this than anything else. You don’t get to final-year PhD status (and the clutches of incipient insanity, but never mind that) without really loving it, and I do. I stumbled a bit ass backwardly into doing it as a career, but it really gives me a rush and an enjoyment and a delight which I have to hang onto during the hard sloggy bits or no-money bits or the “oh god it’s 11pm and I’ve been working on my thesis for the last ten hours” bits. And part of that is because in my view, in this current world, historians are more fucking important than ever, and this work really, really matters.

We’ve all remarked upon the way “historical accuracy” is used to justify bad treatment of women in period dramas, or the way narratives of an imagined medieval past are used by right-wing nationalists, or how “that’s totally medieval” is used as a synonym for something barbaric, etc. I always like to say that it astounds me how much people are totally confident they know what the medieval era was like, despite never having learned a thing about it. I’m also a medievalist of the generation that is pushing back and deconstructing medieval history’s previous reputation as a safe place for straight, white, Christian men to write a straight, white, Christian man’s history. I just got the syllabus the other day for the class I’m teaching in the spring semester, and I was totally delighted, because it’s basically the class I would have designed myself. It’s about medieval narratives in the modern world, and touches upon (among other things) the relevance/use of the crusades in the “war on terror,” the treatment of women in medieval fantasy dramas (a la Game of Thrones), the connection to right-wing nationalism and claimed histories and etc – all subjects on which I have written and thought about a lot and also posted about frequently on here. So yes, I can teach the shit out of that class, and trust me, it’s a good feeling when you can walk into work every day and know that you are doing something, however you can, about the terrifying and idiotic shitstorm that is the world right now. You are teaching people how to think about and identify these things and push back on them, and they in turn will teach other people how to do it. It’s an awfully small step, but we have to start somewhere.

History as a career also requires a major educational commitment – 4 years for a bachelor’s degree, 2 years for a master’s, and at least 3 for a PhD. That’s almost ten years at the minimum, assuming you have the means to study full time, and it will involve a lot of writing; I wrote a senior thesis (25 pages/10k words), a master’s thesis (60 pages/20k words), and I’m now working on a doctoral dissertation (~270 pages/100k words), after going through a program that emphasized writing, so I was doing 25-30 page papers for every class as an undergraduate. Especially as you move into postgraduate level, you have to be good about motivating yourself, because your time will be less structured. It is up to you to be the one to make it count, and you will also have to have a memory or at least the capability to use something to remember tons of tiny details. It will involve a lot of close reading of obscure texts, and probably language learning (in my case it’s been Latin and French, also Latin is terrible and nobody likes it and if I was smart, I would have avoided it, but hey). You will also have to have a thick hide, both for constructive criticism and for the constant rejection that comes with it. You will not get positions or university offers or scholarships or awards that you really, really wanted, and it takes a certain resilience to be able to move past that and not let it reflect personally on you and your abilities. It does, however, happen to everyone, so at least we can swallow the bitter Moral of the Story pill together?

Overall, my assessment is that we badly need more intelligent, trained, socially aware, and intersectional historians, and if you want to do it, the constant “but it’s not lucrative!!!” protests shouldn’t put you off. As I said above, it’s a serious commitment, it’s weird and stressful and work-intensive, and if you can see yourself being happy in any other career, you should probably do that instead. Doing something academically and professionally isn’t the same as doing it as a hobby, of course, but it does start with a love of the subject and the ability to see yourself doing it intensively and long-term, and as I said, I just feel like life’s far too short to pick something you only think will make you rich (since if you hate it, that’s years of your life you can’t get back, and it might not work out anyway).

I’m always happy to answer questions to the best of my ability, if you want to drop back in. And happy historinerding.

#history #luleraina #ask

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