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samanthacarlos-blog1 · 7 years

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Stronger

God’s Soldier

Everything happens for a reason , No matter how hard tough and painful it is my lord I trust you lift you up my heart all the pains and sufferings were a test for me to be your soldier whenever a battle rises shall I surmount? Even there are lots of obstacles and troubles that seems endless a war were there are showering of bullets I shall rise and stood by your name my lord never shall I question nor blame an awesome God like a brave and tough soldier strong willed to fight bloody yet unbowed had won many battles yet those are not yet over I distinctly remember the pains heartbreaks anger and hate when I entered thousand battles in life it was then during that time when I am armed with nothing but the idealism of sorrow and a great thirst for relief as I opened my eyes I see a tough path leading to a huge castle a trudging savage roads where I encountered sharp pebbles thorns and pains which keeps pulling us back and slowing our momentum now with a burst of speed i sprinted along the path which now seemed to me a bed of roses as I walk I stumbled and fall I wanted to give up I am tired and weak yet by the grace of our lord Jesus Christ I am able to regain strength and continue my path to conquer more battles served by God.

Reflect on this: I believe in God but I feel so detached to him there are billions of people in this planet yet almost every problem drops to me do God still loves me? Does God really exist? do he see all my pains? My tears? can he feel my pain ? does he know that deep down I am dying? Does he really hears the prayers I utter does he guide me? does he grants prayers ? answers? Solution to problems? Does he end pain? One problem might end one pain might stop I might conquer one battle yet? It is replaced by other problems harder problems painful problems I am tired of this never ending pain. you don’t know pain until your staring at yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes begging yourself to hold on and be strong that is pain it is the time when your tears can’t stop from falling you hear nothing you feel nothing see nothing and hear nothing it is the moment of pain where your heart dies for a second

Value: we must never question God he is the author of our life he draws it and we are the ones to color and décor it we are the one to make it beautiful , our mind is a garden our thoughts our seeds we can grow flowers or we can grow weeds . He gives tests before the lessons. He gives you strength its either pain that can hurt you or pain that changes you we cannot learn without pain we cannot walk without falling we cannot succeed without trying

All about a Mother

As the lyrics of the Rap song I have wrote it quoted ”kayat hayaan mo ako habang ikay nandito pa magsimula ng panibago ulitin sa umpisa alam kong puso koy manhid at bakal ang pagkagawa pero mahal kita ma hindi mo lang mahalata … sa katulad kong anak dapat ka lang mainis pero ikaw ay nagtyaga at saakin ay nagtiis kaya akoy awing awa habang sayo nakatingin kahit walang wentang anak pinilit mong intindihin lahat ay kaya mong gawin basta para sakin at patawad sa lahat sana ako ay patawadin pag ako ay namatay sa kapalarang malupit hiling ko sa kabilang buhay maging nanay ko sana ikaw ulit

“Nothing can equal a mother’s love it is the greatest love on earth”

Since we are made we are treasured so much our mothers become really excited to see us we are showered with love care and even we are not yet born . at our birth our mother bears the most painful pain of laboring for hours and during our birth half of their life is at stake our mothers were so happy seeing us smile our giggles they watched over us just to give us everything we need and to secure us away from harm they showered all our needs like toys foods they gave us everything they can as we grew we promised them that we someday we will repay them we will be the one to work for them and sustain them yet… as we grew up we started to change we started to argue quarrel and fight with our mother not withstanding all their sacrifices uttering painful and heart breaking words leaving them all alone we hated them we drifted away our mothers might always blame us shout on us they might seem to do nothing but deep down they are doing all the best they can . your lucky to have a mother so love them before what you have turns to what you have we are busy growing up and we forget that they are growing old so change bring back the old you who knows how to care love and laugh with them .

Based on my own experience with my mom I always shout at her seeing all the things she haven’t done blaming her for a wreck in my life ding everything to hurt her leaving words which make her cry whenever she answers back my voice will rise . I realized shes so tired shes sacrificing her wants and needs for my wants and needs I am also hurting but anger and hatred overcomes me my heart turned to a metal steel but I love her I love her so much I miss her imiss the old us the bond laughters and everything we had

Also with my grandmother she writes letters to me telling me how much shes hurting how much she misses me cause I grew up as a lola’s girl we are partners we are always with each other yet she wants me to avoid my friends cause she feels that my friends are taking me away from her till one afternoon she asked me to buy her biscuits and chips I shouted for she knows I don’t have money anymore I shouted and left her to stay with my friends I returned late at night I saw her hugging the teddy bear I gave staring at my picture while writing a letter with tears in her eyes I know she’s hurting she later on saw me and asked if I had bought her biscuits I shouted again she brags to explain yet I didn’t gave her time I banged the door and sleep not thinking how she feels the next day i came home from school I feel something unusual its like a creepy feeling that I am crying yet I don’t know whats the reason as I drew near I feel a hard time stepping something is slowing my momentum so I ran as fast as I can I reached the house locked mommy wasn’t around I started cying wheres mommy ? I shouted and started weeping on the floor like a child asking wheres mommy I saw crushed biscuits and chips on a bag including all my favourite foods the only thing is that the bag is covered with blood I rushed to the bathroom yet shes not there I only saw a pair of blouse and pants covered in blood I immediately charged my deadbatt phone and open it immediately I saw a text from my mom saying mommy is at the hospital bring her clothes and blankets I loosed balance I fell down crying screaming a picked up all necessities she needs locked the house and ran out crying at the hospital I saw mommy lying down bloody she was involved in an accident just for biscuits mommy wakes up she saw me crying I hugged her tight my heart feels like a broken glass its so painful seeing her suffer I realized later on that she will give me money for me to buy whatever I want including her biscuits I am sorry mom I am sorry

Until now I am really making it up to her… to them they are doing all things they can and how do we repay them? By making them cry? so you as a youth lets not be one of those who gives pain to their parents . its not yet late to start caring cherish each moment before its too late love as long as you live and love them as long as they live .

Stand Up

Prologue: Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to the people who are committed to mis-understanding you use your internal instinct to analyse people sometimes the nicest people you meet are covered in tattoo and sometimes the most judgemental people you meet goes to church every Sundays DOES WHO JUDGE DOESN’T MATTER and those who matter doesn’t JUDGE.

"The act of judgment is an act of pride. It involves looking to our own store of knowledge, putting together a few facts, figures or fancies, and coming up with some sort of answer or solution to a given problem or situation. All too often it is the wrong solution or answer, and because of pride, we refuse to correct course. Judging others is an act of monumental pride - enormous pride, stupendous pride, galling, astonishing, fantastic pride. This should be understood. When you render judgment on another, you have taken upon yourself an awesome responsibility for making the correct judgment. Because, after all, your judgment is not necessary. All things, big and small, invite your judgment. The condition of the weather, political matters, the taste of your food, a television program - at every moment of the day, something or other is inviting your judgment of it. And so often, and so willingly, you render it, without being aware of the consequences, without taking care of the responsibilities entailed. You judge, and then to make matters worse, you believe in your judgment. You've looked at the evidence, you've made a judgment - it must be right! There couldn't possibly be any other conclusion to arrive at but the one your've chosen, could there? What you don't see, don't understand, is that your judgment leads to suffering - your own suffering. It does not touch the person judged; he or she is free of you and your thoughts and your judgments. You cannot change their behaviour by even a hair's breadth by your judgment."

We live in a judgemental society wherein one move everyone judges one move everyone talks back who are we to judge? We only know their names not their stories that girl you called a slut in class today, she was a virgin. The pregnant girl walking down the street, she got raped. The boy you called lame he has to work to support his family. The girl you pushed down the other day, she's already being abused at home. The girl you called fat, she's starving herself. The boy you made fun of for crying, his mother is dying. Think you know them? You have no idea as a product of discrimination and judgements I want to voice out I want to be the voice of the people who can’t stand for their own judgements won’t make us a better person it ruins our reputation as well as the life of the victim instead of pushing them down let us give help we are all humans we breath we love we laugh we cry we feel pain and what matters most we are united in one god who created us equally why do people judge? There are reasons why people Judge Others.

· We are insecure. This is the main reason we judge. When we are insecure and/or unhappy with who we are, we try to put other people down. Though it doesn't usually build us up when we put others down, we do it anyway. We want to feel good by making others feel bad.

· We are scared. Often, when we're scared or intimated by other people, we'll put them down.

· We are lonely. As I mentioned before, there is a bonding element that goes along with judging others. When you are lonely, you might use judgments to bond with other people, but these bonds are based on negativity. The bonds you have based on judging others are superficial and are not likely to contain true substance.

For this reasons we are creating a huge effect on the life of the people or person we judge . I would like to encourage the youth to be part and put a stop to this cruel words and prejudices as I stand up and proved all their judgements wrong , there are ways to stop judgements and also to avoid judging others

Monitor your thoughts.Think about what you thinking about. I often go along thinking things about other people, judging them, and I don't even realize it. I'm going to work on paying more attention to my thoughts and do my best to push them in a positive direction.

Look for the positive. Judgments are negative. There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. While my mind might immediately focus on the negative, I can push my thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. And, of course, if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Avoid stereotyping. Stereotypes are never, ever good. I really try to avoid them, but I know I don't always. As I said above, they really create a lot of negativity in the world and I know I don't want to be a part of that. I want to work on recognizing stereotypes and working to avoid them at all costs. There is no need for them in my life.

Focus on your own life. When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don't worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it. When you're trying to avoid your own problems, it's easy to criticize others. Don't. Think about you and focus on the good things.

Remember how it feels. Remember how it feels to be judged. AND remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn't feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now. I'm going to work on remember these feelings the next time I feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.

So if you are often judging someone put a stop on it and if you are a victim grab my hand and stand up prove everyone wrong remember good judgement comes from experience and experience usually comes from bad judges people in this world tend to be great lawyers of their own mistake yet best judges for their own mistakes .

Holding-On

“You’re the only one I want to watch over me“

We must learn how to appreciate and value people who chose to stay rather than leave sometimes they fall out of worth and that’s the reason why they leave. People tends to care and love without our knowledge we hurt them by simply ignoring their efforts and presence yet when they are already gone that’s the only time we realized we needed them we miss them we will start missing the old them who used to always be there no matter how hard your character is no matter how tough your personality is and no matter how crazy you are doing things to them that aren’t supposed to be done ( punching , pinching shouting ) they are still by your side doing everything just to make you laugh who showers you surprises who sacrifices their sleep just to watch over you who sacrifices their own jacket just to keep you warm

Learn to hold on no matter how pesky they are, hold on even they committed a mistake once if they have done wrong keep in mind that everybody makes mistakes forgive and forget no one wants to be around someone who constantly makes them feel guilty let’s make every moment a treasure of life learn to have hope and faith if you cant hold on anymore just let go and let god handle everything

#@rapgodqueen #@therealsamantha

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