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mileyjassie · 4 years

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ℂ𝔸ℝ𝕋𝔸𝕊 - 𝙱𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚢

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 944

Synopsis: You being in true love with his feelings.

When I readed his letter, his first letter, I realized that my feelings were nothing.

He was like a poet, using means of saying everything in his own way, in his expansive and elegant way. His words only told the truth, without being direct, but making you imagine every heartbeat that kept beating hard in his chest while writing that letter so white and full of different worlds.

I could hear his voice confessing his feelings, saying every detail he likes and how much he love those details as if they were gifts given only to him.

For me, the gift was that letter.

I had fallen asleep thinking about every word and trace of his writing, wishing he had the intention of writing more to have more nights like that.

The more I dreamed of his smile, more I felt the need to beg for his poetry, waiting every day to smell that sweet scent of the paper and see his messy signature.

I saw him go by, I didn't see who was around, in fact, I couldn't, my eyes walked down his neck to the smallest features of his hair and when his eyes turned towards me, I felt that finally my day was fully complete for seeing an art as unique and precious as he was.

Then he made his second letter.

My cheeks heated up, I had to hold on to the euphoric smile with all my strength, no one could see how happy I was to just see his signature again, to imagine his voice again.

He said every second was precious, every look, every smile, all he needed was his most beautiful treasure, all those words that stuck to my head, traveling and echoing like a thin transparent fabric, as if trying to welcome me, tell me to calm down, to continue breathing deeply, so that my heart does not enter a dangerous state of fragile sentimentality.

Each day seemed like a test of emotional endurance, I could not understand how I could stand so long silent, lost in naive and fanciful thoughts. Was I like a child? Had I never been in love before? Had I never kept these deep secrets in my head before? So what was I doing? What did I think I was doing with this?

One day, when we coincidentally touched ourselves to pass this secret on, I couldn't admire his eyes for long. His drawn eyebrows showed embarrassment, his ears burned with redness, so I had to smile to relieve that burning inside my chest a little, that's when he smiled at me, only at me, and I realized that he was a deep well and that I was afraid, I was terrified of falling and drowning, without being able to return to the surface, I was afraid that this would happen, but I had not stopped myself, I was not careful not to fall.

So I readed the third letter.

This letter was special. He didn't talk about appearance or personality, he just said how he felt, with courage said things he hadn't confessed before, he thanked and he promised, swore that he would keep that feeling with him until the day he could make his wishes come true. It was a big confession with small letters so as not to throw any thought away, and I liked that, I saw for a moment everything that was missing in me, then I noticed that what was missing in me was everything he had for himself, he had all the things I needed, so he became my biggest inspiration, that's when I wistfully realized that I shouldn't have judged him as a deep well. A well is dark, scary, small and holds you in despair as if there were no other ways. He was not a well and I felt sorry for thinking that about him.

He was like the ocean.

So big, so full of everything, waves, beauty, calm.

It was okay for me to be afraid of the mystery that was still in him, of the things that were still hidden to be given to someone special, it was okay, since his beauty still enchanted me. His confessions still enchanted me.

Time was running out anyway and he still had a letter to deliver.

This letter was simple, but I could feel its euphoria coming out of it, wanting a date to finally not need to use those cards as a tool. Deep in my heart I felt sad to think of never reading a letter from him again, and I had all day to be able to look in the mirror and give me the confidence I needed, to practice all the phrases, all the looks, all the gestures so as not to let him perceive anything, to think nothing of me, not to imagine anything beyond the ordinary for a single moment.

It was a bright night, the square was full of decorations, everyone was celebrating a random festival that didn't interest me at all.

I was the one who saw him first, he was standing, looking through the crowd, then he saw me near the fountain, coming at me with a smile. My heart couldn't stay in control, so I felt totally lost when I felt his warm hug, his so cute sweatshirt hiding me in his arms, I closed my eyes for a moment, returning the hug, he pressed the side of his face against mine to whisper in my ear.

"Thanks for everything."

I nodded, smiling amiably, forcing my fingers to let go of his sweatshirt to let him go to the owner of his letters behind me, the very best friend of mine who let me read the letters and ask me to be the cupid of them, waiting for him to hear an real confession, face to face this time.

I slowly withdrew, looking at him one last time, knowing I couldn't read him again.

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