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dysfunctionaltrolls · 4 years

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i feel bad for making this but i feel like i have to

baby’s first call out post

anyway,, i have some things id like to say. i have proof of all of this and it will all be under the cut. this is gonna be really long and im really sorry but its going to be the whole story so stick with me

content warning: being weird towards minors, general nsfw elements, general creepiness, weed (mentions of being high).

everyone involved except for myself and, obviously, them, will have their names blocked out for privacy reasons.

thank you for reading this in advance, i just really need to get this out.

the blog in question is @ask-crappy-fantrolls

in advance

please do not send this person hate. please. i dont care whos wrong or right, hate anons arent necessary.

lets get down to business

point one of ??: ships

im going to say right off the bat, i agreed to some of these. some of these i liked. a lot i agreed to because i was afraid to say no because i didnt want to upset them. some were forced on me. some were made without my knowledge. i will not go into specifics on which ships belong in which categories unless its necessary because this post would be extremely long, but please keep this in mind if you see me reacting positively in screenshots.

this screenshot shows me trying to break off all of our ships the first time. i say right down there at the bottom that i want all of them gone. i thought i was being pretty clear.

one of my trolls (kaivin) has a moirail to whom he is extremely attached. this isnt a secret. he is so attached, in fact, that the two share most quads. so anyone kaivin would get into a relationship with, his moirail would as well. ive posted about this many times and i believe its on his bio but dont quote me on that.

this is me trying to cut the ship off again. i really hate being mean and hurting peoples feelings so i was trying stay polite and let them know gently that hey, i dont want this. keep in mind, this took place after me attempting to cut all of our ships off.

i could put more here but im tired and itd make the post longer than it needs to be. bottom line, i got messaged about ships a lot even though i had cut them all off and literally started shipping with other people by that point. it wasnt a secret, i was posting about new ships.

small tidbit thats very nsfw: one of our ships that we had was purely for their kink, apparently.

for context: axel is my human disguised as a troll who lives on alternia.

literally if you look at cimefas bio, his whole character is just that hes kinky. thats it.

point two of ??: infantalizing me

if you dont know already; hi im joey, im 19, and im a trans man. i am an adult. a grown ass man, if you will. i do not tolerate being spoken to like a dog or a child.

with that being said, here i am being spoken to like someone would a dog or a child:

oh also theres the time they sent me an ask calling me a lesbian HDSFJKSDHF

heres that

i know it was them because they messaged me the same day, claiming not to have known, but we’d already been talking for months and i never went by she/her while having this blog. he/him is all over my blog.

anyway heres a tidbit thats not big enough for its own point but needs to be said: the flirting.

^i just wanted to show them my new shirt :/

anyway next

point three of ??: being weird with minors

okay this bit is very gross but stay with me

right there, no minors. clearly stated. thats fine! thats whatever!! heres what i have the issue with. theyre currently waiting for a few of my friends who are minors to turn 18. no, this is not a speculation. they stated this.

i am keeping minors names blocked out, they dont need to be involved in this.

(quad blocked out so the minor cant be pinpointed)

(different minor, quad blocked again)

(the minor in question is the one from the first two screenshots about “waiting for them to turn 18″)

for context, this was after i reblogged a post about people waiting for minors to turn 18 being gross. yes it was a vague, no i do not care. i didnt say anything to them, they came to me about this unprompted and on their own accord. if the shoe fits, i suppose.

point four of ??: copying

theres been a few instances of this, but heres the main one

i run a cool blog over at @broadcastappear. i got with a friend of mine and they made theirs one day, i made mine the next. of course, i was excited about this! i wanted to tell everyone about my cool new blog, so i started messaging people! them included!

before i get into the screenshots, here is the premise of both of our broadcast blogs:

slightly odd radio host trolls who talk to each other over the radio waves. my friends troll for their blog is crazy and stuck in the desert, mine is slightly less crazy and stuck in an apartment. shenanigans and extremely cryptic flirting ensue.

so i messaged them with a link to my blog after i made it.

take a closer look at that time stamp!

keep this in mind

i get sent a link

its a cryptic radio blog. same concept, formatting, plot, everything.

and would you look at that

same day. it was an hour later, actually.

they were confronted about this and denied that their blog had anything to do with ours, even though it was a clear rip off. their blog has since been deleted, i believe.

anyway, in conclusion, i just really wanted this off my chest.

do with this information what you will. i dont care if i get hate for this, the people who know my situation know how badly this has been on me mentally. ive been archiving things in a server for months while ive been trying to cut them off and im just... fed up. i cant do it anymore. i feel gross. i am the main hub that this is circling around and no one can say thing about it but me. theres a lot more to this that im not adding, mostly because theres less proof but i still know it to be true.

im tired of adults being weird and nasty in this community. i know im an adult too but at least im not gross.

anyway, call out post over. rb or smthn i dont care.

#ask-crappy-fantrolls #discourse #drama #call out #sorry im just trying to hit all the tags #this took a lot out of me to write #ask to tag #im not good w confrontation so im gonna hit post then go hide somewhere

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ziggystardxst · 3 years

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so sometimes i go through these phases where I'm 110% done with life (part four, over a year later)

no one reads these but if you happen to stumble upon this somehow, i’ll probably mention some different stuff like s*xual abuse and grooming so if that stuff bothers you then please don’t read this😁

keep in mind that i’m a huge people pleaser and it’s very hard for me to say no to people.

i don’t remember what i said in part three but i definitely remember doing one but i’m too lazy to go looking for it so i’m gonna trust my memory skills even though they’re slowly deteriorating.

i know in like part two or something i did a bunch of bitching about my friends and boyfriend and THANK GOD THOSE PEOPLE ARE OUT OF MY LIFE.

but there’s new people…because of course there is.

we had a situation with a guy who’s about a year older than me (i’m almost 19) and i’m gonna call him carl (mostly because even the thought of typing his name nauseates me. so anyway, i meet carl and he’s cool i guess but then literally the next day he tells me he has feelings for me and i’m like…okay what the fuck😀 because i don’t even catch feelings THAT fast.

i still thought he was cool and i wanted to be his friend but at the same time, i didn’t want to lead him on because that shit isn’t cool. so i told him straight out that i was flattered, i wasn’t mentally ready to be even considering the pursuit of any kind of romantic relationship, and i wanted to be FRIENDS with him and nothing else.

after making that abundantly clear, he tells me he understands. then not even five minutes later he starts talking to me about how he’s ugly and annoying and no one loves him and he’d be better of dead and whatever. at this point it wasn’t a pattern so i didn’t see what he was actually trying to do, but the fat that he was randomly dumping all of this information on me made me uncomfortable. but he was telling me about how alone he felt and that’s a shitty thing to feel.

the feeling of hopelessness combined with loneliness is something i’m all too familiar with and i’ve dedicated most of my time to make sure people never have to feel that, even if i’m putting myself and my mental health at risk. harming myself mentally has always seemed worth it to me if it made someone else feel good.

i know i need to prioritize myself but i don’t know how.

so anyway, this goes on for awhile. whenever i tell him “no” he tells me he’s suicidal, he’s ugly, he’s worthless, no one loves him, he relapsed, he’s getting drunk and is about to go drive, he’s going to k*ll himself. i knew what he was doing but i didn’t want to believe it because 1. i ALWAYS force myself to see the good in everyone, and if i can’t then i make something up and 2. i’m an idiot. i gave into almost everything.

there was one time i was crying my eyes out over an argument with my mother. he asked me to call him and i said no. the guilt tripping started and i gave in, genuinely afraid he’d hurt himself.

the one thing he repeatedly asked me was for me to be his girlfriend. he attempted to guilt trip me so many times.

it was extremely difficult for me to tell him no but even my willingness to please people has a limit. i refuse myself to ever be in a relationship that i don’t want to be in. it’s not only unfair to me, but to the other person as well. i told him no every single time and his refusal to respect my decision further showed me the type of person he is. the type of person i’d never want to be involved with. romantically or platonically.

i strongly considered ending our friendship more times than i could count. each time he’d say something about being suicidal, i’d feel bad for him, and i’d be right back.

he never asked me if i was mentally okay enough to handle the extremely triggering information he gave me. when he relapsed he showed me his…cuts without warning. i was mortified. he knew i was struggling with the same things. this friendship was completely one sided.

going through emotional hell is fine but if you put someone i care about through some shit like that, especially if that person’s a minor, non-confrontational, people pleaser, passive kat disappears completely.

he was speaking to someone close friends of mine, who i view as younger siblings, one of them (a cousin on my dad’s side) is 14 years old. carl, the sick bastard that he is, makes constant sexual comments to this literal CHILD. sexualizing him, talking about having sex with him. i don’t think i’ve ever been so angry with a person.

so my cousin, let’s call him dylan, tells me there’s this girl he’s talking to, the girl is 15, i’ll call her sarah. his conversations with sarah were equally inappropriate, telling her things like “i wish you weren’t a minor”, i’m horny right now”, and “i think you’re really attractive, personality wise”. these are direct quotes and i have SO MANY SCREENSHOTS OF HIM SAYING THIS SHIT ITS UNBELIEVABLE

so i bring this up to my friend ethan, who’s about three months older than me (he knows im talking about this and he did give me consent to use his actual name) and i tell him EVERYTHING about him guilt tripping me, sexualizing my height, the sexual conversations with minors, and the fact that he was sharing these same triggering things i mentioned earlier with these minors.

i told ethan something NEEDED to be done about this as quickly as possible.

i met carl and a few other people in a group chat and since we were all pretty close, we figured they deserved to know about the guy they’ve been talking to. so we take it to the group chat and immediately almost everyone is noting the experiences they’ve had with this man and it only fuels my distain for this man.

you mess with me, fine. you mess with my friends or children, i’m gonna do something about it.

so there’s this guy in this chat, i’ll call him tyler. tyler posts on his instagram story saying something along the lines of “leave carl alone he didn’t do anything” despite all the P R O O F right in front of them and they continuously tried to flip this situation and say tyler was the one in the wrong. TYLER, WHO IS 14 AND BEING SEXUALIZED BY A 20 YEAR OLD, A GROWN ASS FUCKING MAN, IS IN THE WRONG.

as you can imagine, this pissed me off beyond belief. every part of it. i was angry at myself for letting him manipulate me for so much. i was angry at him for manipulating me, and preying on children. i was angry at tyler for SUPPORTING it. and i was angry that there was nothing i could realistically do.

anyway, yesterday tyler “apologizes” by basically saying lol sorry but im not gonna stop being friends with this predator and everyone is like…okay😃

like…are me and ethan really the only people who are outraged by this whole thing???

i strongly feel like my anger is 100% justified but idk

#kat’s thoughts #long post #well longish i guess

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