#im so sorry elliot page but i dont want to see your face again for like a year im so tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiilys · 5 years

Text

call if you care for me

Sirius Black to goobers: the one day i actually come and school burns down

Remus Lupin: what classes were you in

James Potter: i was in english you Were Not

Peter Pettigrew: or history

Remus Lupin: it doesnt count as attending school if u just lie behind the science block till lunch

Sirius Black: youre all ruining this fire for me

James Potter to Lily Evans: give back my chocolate shake

Lily Evans: i dont have it

James Potter: i can see u fuckin drinkin it we’re in the same mcdonalds

Lily Evans: everyones saying you did it

James Potter: pardon

Lily Evans: set the fire

James Potter: come off it

James Potter: whose saying that

Lily Evans: everyone

James Potter: ah yes my great mate ‘everyone’

Lily Evans: mary, elliot from science, louise marcot, guy from math whose name i dont know but went to ball with ruby garland, sam roberts, and sushi danny have all told me it was you

James Potter: wow that does seem like everyone

James Potter: now im wondering whether I did do it

Sirius Black to James Potter: had a dream i died in a freak pharmaceutical accident last night

James Potter: what is a freak pharmaceutical accident

Sirius Black: i was drunk in a pharmacy and put all their throat lozenges up my nose

Marlene McKinnion to Lily Evans: schools on the news

Marlene McKinnon: why tf are they interviewing black and calling him a ‘student’

Marlene McKinnon: dont u need to attend school for at least 3 out of 5 weekdays to earn that title

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: saw u on the news

Lily Evans: ur tie was inside out if thats even possible

Sirius Black: all part of My Look which i have now publicised on national telly so eat ass

James Potter to Lily Evans: wow is this what happens when u go in the sun what a tan u have

James Potter: and by tan i obvsly mean you look like an overcooked frankfurter

James Potter: clearly u need to be marinating in sunblock like a chicken

James Potter: GOD these similes……… no wonder I won the english prize over you last year

Lily Evans: what a shame ur going to be murdered before you can win it again

Remus Lupin to Marlene McKinnon: just checking ur the one called lesbo archilles in the kahoot

Marlene McKinnon: ya

Marlene McKinnon: why

Remus Lupin: wanted to know who was beating me

Marlene McKinnon: up ur classics knowledge lupin

Peter Pettigrew to only smexy activity permitted: holy dick mum got an email the police think the fire was arson

Sirius Black: confess now james

James Potter: fuck you

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: have u seen beyonce

Peter Pettigrew: i meant beyonce

Peter Pettigrew: why does it keep saying beyonce

James Potter to Sirius Black: nice work autocorrecting ur name in petes phone to beyonce

James Potter: however ur less destinys child and more destinys bastard son

Sirius Black: im making that my tinder bio

Lily Evans to James Potter: you know what i think ur socks need 2 pulled higher

Lily Evans: fuck the haters pull those things tits high

James Potter: ur late to this sirius already asked me if i knew i was being eaten alive from the foot upwards

James Potter: theyre literally pulled only just above my ankle i hate everyone i know

Remus Lupin to James Potter: have u seen this

Remus Lupin: sent a facebook link to jomes potter (general dickhead) deserves medal for burning down school

James Potter: this is getting out of control I DIDNT DO IT

James Potter: this page has 137 likes and theyve spelt my name wrong i wish i was dead

James Potter: ok why are you and sirius admins

Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: they know how the fire started

Marlene McKinnon: or mum knows cause shes sleeping with that police guy

Marlene McKinnon: lit cigarette by the languages block between 11-11:15

Lily Evans: fucking pardon

Lily Evans: are you sure

Marlene McKinnon: course i bloody am

Marlene McKinnon: whats the problem

Lily Evans to James Potter: james

Lily Evans: not to be drama but i think i fucking burnt down the school

Lily Evans: literally call me asap

James Potter to Remus Lupin: hypothetically in a hypothetical situation if someone was hypothetically smoking in the languages block and threw it on the ground at the exact hypothetical time a fire had hypothetically started what would one hypothetically do

James Potter: hypothetically

Remus Lupin: jfc what have u done

James Potter: genuinely not me this time come to lils pls

Sirius Black created the group save lily from arrest

Sirius Black added James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin

Lily Evans: sirius this isn’t funny i could’ve really hurt someone

Sirius Black: senorita blanco failed me in fourth year spanish so you could say it was karma

Sirius Black: also relax evans ur not guy fawkes u only maimed several expensive smartboards

Remus Lupin: guy fawkes was famously unsuccessful ur reference is shite

Sirius Black renamed the group blow me lupin

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: james has it so bad its embarrassing hes followed all her playlists on spotify

Sirius Black: hes making his bed cause shes coming over who is he

Sirius Black: like evans makes her damn bed

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: marnie attkins just told me theres £120 on when youll confess u set the fire

Peter Pettigrew: can u tell me when ur planning 2 so i can win i promise to split it

James Potter: pete are you kidding me

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: stop looking at the languages block and being a sad sack

Lily Evans: you mean where the block used to be before i burnt it down

Lily Evans: where are you anyway i cant see you

Sirius Black: on the roof of the bio building i have a deck chair here

Sirius Black: also dont be a drama queen youre not a bad person

Sirius Black: you hurt no one and cant change what happened by blaming urself

Sirius Black: now come 2 the science block and bring those twix in ur bag

James Potter to Lily Evans: nice tights

Lily Evans: i think you mean nice legs

James Potter: that too

Peter Pettigrew to reese witherhoon: we are go

Remus Lupin: godspeed boys

Peter Pettigrew: wait i left my wallpaper glue in the loos we’re not go

Sirius Black: im keeping one of these fake moustaches i look manly

Lily Evans to blow me lupin: sirius can i have the crisps in ur bag

Sirius Black: no

Remus Lupin: lily said to tell you shes lost her phone and cant see ur response so has started eating the crisps

Sirius Black: die evans

James Potter to Sirius Black: yeah every time i said I was over lil was a bold faced lie why is she the funniest prettiest best girl alive

Sirius Black: ur pathetic

Sirius Black: whats brought this honestly on

James Potter: she was laughing and i wanted 2 kiss her so bad i gave myself a headache

Sirius Black: i said you were pathetic 2 soon i shouldve said it here

Lily Evans to James Potter: i know u don’t think i shouldnt but im going to say it was me

Lily Evans: i mean i know mum cant afford the damage but im sure minnie would help me figure smth out where i could pay it back like over time i mean im just

Lily Evans: it was stupid smokings stupid and i miss it but im never fucking doing it again

Lily Evans: i did a bad thinhg

Lily Evans: i hate wine and its late and im masd u didnt come to this party i want u here

James Potter: dont say anything to anyone im going to ring you

Sirius Black to Marlene McKinnon: did you take my deck chair from the bio building roof

Marlene McKinnon: who is this

Sirius Black: come of it mckinnon i know u have my number

Sirius Black: i want my chair back

Marlene McKinnon: sorry was always taught not 2 talk to strangers

Mum to James Potter: school called and wants to interview you about the fire

James Potter: brilliant

Mum: bring milk home

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: are you with sirius

Peter Pettigrew: yeah

Remus Lupin: tell him i took his lunch and he wont get it back till he gives me my calculus homework

Peter Pettigrew: sirius says he has ur wallet and is now buying himself lunch

Peter Pettigrew: he said to ask if you wanted anything

Sirius Black to blow me lupin: so when is minnie taking u to jail james

James Potter: imminently

Remus Luping: can we pls change the group name my mum saw these alerts

Sirius Black renamed the group fuck me lupin

James Potter renamed the group raw me behind the nice thai place lupin

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin rim me in ur mums home office

Remus Lupin: too fucking far leave mums home office out of this

Lily Evans: whats this abt james going to jail

Lily Evans to James Potter: cant believe you didnt tell me about mcgonagall interviewing you

James Potter: dw the police think its me lol

James Potter: i guess everyones been sharing their theories and that that fb page now has over 200 likes

James Potter: they dont have anything on me though so ur still good

Lily Evans: they seriously consider you a suspect

Lily Evans: thats a big fucking deal james what the fuck

James Potter: lily its fine

James Potter: lily

James Potter: jesus dont do anything stupid

James Potter: lily pickup

Peter Pettigrew to brats (not the dolls we’re barbie loyalists): omg guys lily just confessed she set the fire who knew!!!!!

Peter Pettigrew: guys

Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: baller of u to burn down the school and not tell me

Marlene McKinnon: is it cause im gay

Marlene McKinnon: homophobe

Marlene McKinnon: but seriously if you don’t call me in 24 hours im just gunna turn up to your house

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: fucking hell evans

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: dont talk to the police without a lawyer

James Potter to Lily Evans: lily please call me

Lily Evans to rim me in ur mums home office lupin: im suspended for two weeks and have to pay off half the damage but not getting charged or expelled

Sirius Black: stunning job on not getting expelled or going to jail

Sirius Black: and a two week holiday!!! im going to burn down the english block

Lily Evans: black ur an ass

Lily Evans: also

Lily Evans added Marlene McKinnon to the chat

Remus Lupin: congrats lil glad 2 have u still with us

Marlene McKinnon: lupin what the hell is happening in ur mums home office

Lily Evans to James Potter: before you go getting all drama i didnt come forward because of you

Lily Evans: i did a bad thing and when you do bad shit ur not supposed to own up and say so

Lily Evans: i was being the kind of thing i hate and was sick of it

Lily Evans: but in the interest of honesty thinking about you in serious trouble makes me sick

James Potter: i understand

James Potter: i kinda always thought you would tell youre kind of like that

Lily Evans: like what

James Potter: good all the way through

Sirius Black to James Potter: love of ur life is pretty fucking ethical

James Potter: i know shes the best

Sirius Black: wait till i tell her abt that time u took that magazine from the doctors office

James Potter: we were literally seven how do u remember that

Sirius Black: crimes are immortal

Sirius Black to suck me off at the old quarry lupin: in lilys memory we should hold a bonfire vigil

Lily Evans: sirius im suspended not dead

Marlene McKinnon: rip evans (some fucking year – now)

Lily Evans: u rlly couldnt figure out the year i was born mar

Remus Lupin: gone but never forgotten

Remus Lupin: also stop it with these group names

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin pull me off at the gas station by the crisps

James Potter renamed the group lupin take me from behind in the girls loos at noon

Remus Lupin: hell has nothing on this

Lily Evans to James Potter: am very bored and out of oreos

Lily Evans: been considering dying my hair black just for something to do

James Potter: youd look shit with black hair

Lily Evans: youd know

Lily Evans: HA set you up for that id never dye my hair. u fool

James Potter: so rlly what youve been doing all day is thinking of that bit

Lily Evans: not just that i also finished the oreos

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: are you asleep

Remus Lupin: its 4am so you know im not

Sirius Black: i have potters keys wanna get mcdonalds

Remus Lupin: ill meet you outside

James Potter to Lily Evans: school is shite without you im coming round

Lily Evans: its 11am

Lily Evans: park down the street i have nosy neigbours

Remus Lupin to lupin bum me at nasa: for my birthday i want no one to throw up in my shoes

James Potter: it was fucking ONCE

James Potter: im hosting the damn party i wont b ridiculed like this

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin jerk me off while wearing james’ vomit shoes

Sirius Black: two birds one stone

Lily Evans to James Potter: have fun tonight tell remus his gift is late but coming

James Potter: we’ll miss you

Lily Evans: nah youll b fine

James Potter: i wont be

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: 2 protect ur shoes i put them inside the upstairs loo bowl no need to thank me

James Potter to Lily Evans: i know its late and ur going to think im drunk but ive only had one beer

James Potter: im interested in you

James Potter: so interested

James Potter: romantically

James Potter: earlier sirius struck out with some random girl marlene is now making out with and all i want is you here to laugh with us abt it

James Potter: cause youd say smth funny and good that would make everyone laugh

James Potter: also youre so pretty i couldn’t figure out how to work that in there but you are

James Potter: sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and fucks everything i just had to say

Lily Evans to James Potter: when you wake up you should probably come round

James Potter: im awake now

Lily Evans: wow an early one

Lily Evans: how was last night

James Potter: well four glasses are broken and peter slept on the dishwasher so standard but i also said how i feel about you to you so incredibly not standard

Lily Evans: yeah about that

Lily Evans: how do you feel about me now your single beer has worn off and the nights over

James Potter: the same

Lily Evans: well you should def come round then

Lily Evans: quite hard 2 kiss u dramatically if ur not here

James Potter: i know ur againist breaking the law and all but you cant say smth like that and expect me not to speed

Sirius Black to when will someone offer to eat LUPINS ASS at the museum holiday party c’mon guys he has needs: turns out lily was lighting fires in james heart all along

Lily Evans: jfc

Remus Lupin: i mean what is the correct reaction to that

Marlene McKinnon: removing him from the chat

#og title: call if you care for me at all' but i thought it was to drama no??#jily #james potter #lily evans #jily fic #brotp: the lot #caroline does social media #i have literally been working on this in bits for two years and in four days i made it come together through sheer force of will #i know its weird and arguably not in character but i couldnt have james burn it down!! where would The Drama be!!!#carolineswritingtag #im on holiday when ur reading this cause queue is a marvel but i hope u liked this!! pls tell me if you do!!#i hope those line things work on mobile cause if they dont this is gunna b murder 2 read sorry team #queue

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