#im so unwell i hate being so pathetic!!!! stupid stupid stupid everyone else from my nursing school either already took the test Or

[bo0zey]

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#OMGGGGGGGGGHHH IM SO RANDOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG I AM SO SILLY AND ODD!! HASHTAG DORK ALERTTTT LOLLLLLLLLL #yesterday when i woke up my first thought was i don’t want to be here i should really kms and for a moment it was genuine not passive #it struck me at that moment. how Genuine i meant it and wanted to do it #it was only for a few moments until eventually i glanced over and saw my perscription bottles on the bedside table #and i reminded myself that these thoughts are happening because i hadn’t taken my medicine in a few days i don’t know how long but a few #off and on then off for a few days #im so unwell i hate being so pathetic!!!! stupid stupid stupid everyone else from my nursing school either already took the test Or #they’re studying right now preparing to take the test either way everyone’s gonna be a nurse and i’m not at this rate i haven’t done shit #it’s because i feel hopeless again i feel futureless i know i don’t want to live another few more years i know this it’s a core belief #so searching for jobs for a long term future just seems so pointless to me #but i know my family expect me to do it and i’m going to do it don’t worry i know i’m just a chronic procrastinator i’ve been like this #and i know i can’t live at home forever i know if i truly want to not be here anymore then i have to get my own apartment #somewhere i won’t be found and somewhere ​i’ll be able to die alone without the risk of being found and hospitalized #i won’t fuck up it won’t be an attempt it will be completion and seen through i’ll only have one chance i absolutely cannot fail that #anyways if anyones reading the tags DONT WORRY PLS IM JUST VENTINGGG N BEING DRAMATICCC LOLLLL PLS DONT WASTE UR ENERGY WORRYING!!!!!!!!!!!! #i’m really fine my life is fine i have nothing to complain about i just am an annoying whiny crybaby who can’t suck it up and grow up #everyone has to grow up and be an adult nobody wants to work but we have to #except i don’t jsut not want to work i want to Genuinely not be Alive lollllllllll #darn! how do i get over such a silly little hump! a bump in the road! #i’ve been an adult since i was the age of a child i can’t remember exactly when my role in life switched but i know it was sooner #sooner than a child is supposed to grow up #i’ve been an adult for so long no wonder i’m so tired i already grew up i don’t have the energy to live as an adult anymore #my mind n body are tired. i wish the world would just stop asking anything of me. #i have nothing left to give anyone only rage and sadness so i just want everyone to stay away so i don’t hurt anyone anymore #ramblings #🤣🤣🥸🥸🥸🤓🤓🤪🤪😝😂😂🤣🤣🤩🤩🫢🫢🤭🤭🤔🤔😲😲🥴🥴🤠🤠🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡😺😺😽😽😺😺😼😼😸🙀🙀😹😹😹